consistently traumatized acording to my therapist @littl-vs - Tumblr Blog

catxh me #Freaking on this uh.. what day of the week is it? thurday

#oh anxiety hello dear friend did not miss you #dw about it its fffiiineeee bhhahahaaa #yeesh 🌩️

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i am getting overstimulated by my hair??

#i feel like im greasy but im not i can just feel my hair #0/10 frrrrrr

if its any of us dont feel weird or bad

#nobodys doing anything rn anyway

catch me unable to eat because of the ptsd shit earlier

#this is fuckin stupid 🚭

yeah youre welcome

#like i said not a single person in this system doesnt like you #you need anything and well be there #and i can try to play a bit nicer if it helps #no promises because i *am* the embodiment of everything you're against at this point but i can try

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kid i know you dont hate me

#not enough people are wary of me anymore #i dont require you to like me or get along with you #im going to watch over you and keep an eye on will anyway #my *job* is to make people unnerved and leave us the fuck alone even though i dont have to do it very often #wasnt my intention to give that to you as well #my moral code is whatever the fuck works and you arent the only one who doesnt know what to do with that #my moral code wont ever do somethin thatll hurt will or you #im here either way until you tell me to fuck off from talking to you #call it a guardian angel or whatever the fuck you want you matter to will and im going to do my damn best to keep you safe

i really missed you too

#ive been so tired man #but this is good #feels like healing

i need an adult but im supposed to be the adult

watch how close i can come to breaking up with my girlfriend

#i feel like throwing upppp #i want to hole myself away from everyone like i always do

mmmhahah okay we can play that game

#🚬 fuckin *fine*#ill be pissed for a second maybe a few minutes and ill move on #but *maybe* people should learn to keep their fukin mouths shut about shit that doesnt concern them #*maybe* dont act all high an mighty about anything miss princess because i wont hesitate to lay you flat

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i really just is it that selfish to not want people t be handsy because im the ward of a playboy?

#not even th *son* i didnt even get adopted #everyone else did i just got placed under his care #and people were so *touchy*#it was fine when i was younger because itd just be a hand on the shoulder or on my face but its so much worse and i hate how *used* to it i #got and how *fine* it is #and is it reallt too much to ask to just talk to someone about it #for them to understand??#without triggering some sort of trauma response because i cant do that to older me not if he went through everything i did

i hate the way jay looks at me because im not broken

#i wasnt “taken advantage of” or “assulted”#and i hate that i cant actually talk to anyone about anything #and i hate that i cant take showers unless they are hot enough to burn #and i really need to know if roy is still mad at me or if gar ever found out #and i *HATE* the way i gag whenever i smell cinnamon or pomegranate #its so dumb because *everything* i look at says these shouldnt have happened to me yet #that none of this shouldve happened until i was at least 18

and now im home so i cant push off my "fuck everthing feels wrong" crisis like I have been for the last hour

#🐦 ik its all my fault like genuinely #i should have known #but idk im gonna go take a shower and not think about the rain #prrrrobbs gonna come back to this later who knowowwwsss

i think that like maybe my fucked up timeline really messes with me

#🐦 like i have memories of things that arent supposed to hage happened to my yet or debatably*evr*#like how i slept with my girlfriend and she wasnt her and everyone blamed me for not knowing #and roy and wally and donna and kory were all so mad #and i remember having to make my way around the streets and trying to live and making some documents to get an apartment #and crashing on artys couch #but some of that shouldn't have happened #and b hitting me shouldnt have happened #idk im just kinda thinking a lot because the showers feel too much like rain and i cant also older me because it's..... hard stuff i cant do #that to him

please?

#im so tired of giving everything for everyone i thought maybe i could keep this thing

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this isnt fair im *happy* why cant i have this one thing

#i dont see how its not good i love her i dont want to fucking loose *another* person because everyone else says its not goo

actually im so pleased i can reach past my toes after a little warm up

#🐦 cant quite stand with my hands flat on the ground but almost!#this is encouraging #and ive realized i might need to take up hazard on that lynn helping thing because my knees a little angry #at least i caught it before it got too pissed

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consistently traumatized acording to my therapist