virescit vulnere virtus

they could switch shirts and it'd still be correct, ofc

Can you remember the first time you heard about “tradwives”? I can’t, and yet I have the vague feeling that at some point a handful of years ago, all at once, the term became inescapable. On phone screens across the United States, beautiful women with glossy hair seemed to materialize en masse, flipping sizzling patties of meat and rocking impossibly calm babies. Conservative commentators embraced them as evidence that women want to stay home. Critics called them agents of a regressive right-wing agenda.

Now, in 2026, Americans seem just as captivated. This spring, Caro Claire Burke released her debut novel, Yesteryear, which follows a modern-day tradwife influencer who wakes up in 1855 and has to face what “traditional” life really looks like. It became a near-immediate best seller; Amazon MGM Studios snatched up the film rights, with Anne Hathaway set to star and produce. In April, Hulu began airing the series The Testaments, a sequel to The Handmaid’s Tale that depicts teen girls trained to be docile homemakers. Instead of math or English, they’re taught to embroider, to cook—and to regard a provider husband as the ultimate goal.

The truth, though, is that the tradwife—as symbol, TikTok genre, source of fascination, and wedge in America’s culture war—doesn’t easily map onto a real-life category of person. The women who post about their impeccable meals and beloved husbands might be better understood as businesswomen; some are making huge sums from this work, supporting their families. And other stay-at-home mothers—well, they’re not all in it for the love of domesticity. Many are just exhausted, low-income moms who can’t afford child care. “The real path to becoming a tradwife,” Jessica Calarco, a sociologist at the University of Wisconsin at Madison, told me, “is typically through economic precarity.”

The housewife of popular imagination has never been much more than a fantasy. Even the 1950s homemaker—an iconic vision of domestic bliss, standing in the kitchen in heels and a frilly apron—represented only a small slice of mid-century women, Caitlyn Collins, a Washington University in St. Louis sociology professor, told me. White women with high-earning husbands were generally the ones who could afford to stay home, while many other women—especially women of color, whose husbands made far less on average—had to work low-wage jobs to help pay the bills.

Since then, the situation has flipped: Child care has grown so expensive that many low-income women who want to work can’t afford to get a job. Of course, plenty of struggling moms are still employed outside the home; many of them rely on family members, neighbors, or older kids to watch young children for free, as some women of previous generations did. But not everyone has that option. A great number of parents, especially ones without college degrees, are struggling to bear the cost of professional child care. In low-income families, if only one parent works, they tend to be eligible for much-needed state benefits. But if both work, they might fall into what Calarco calls the “missing middle” of America’s social safety net: Their combined salaries bump up their income just enough that they no longer qualify for aid. And then they need to pay for child care—which, without assistance, they simply can’t manage.

When one parent in a straight couple needs to stay home, that role typically falls to the mother—even when both partners say they want an egalitarian division of labor, Calarco told me. Male-dominated fields tend to be higher-paid, she said, so a lot of women feel that giving up their job simply makes most sense; then, in many cases, their husband finds that any hope for a raise lies in working longer hours. The women are left with an even heavier burden of unpaid labor—and a shrinking likelihood of getting back into the workforce. Once those women are financially dependent, she added, some of them grow afraid to ask their husband for more help: “They have no bargaining power.”

This is the precarity-to-tradwife pipeline. Families with stay-at-home moms are three times more likely than dual-income families to fall below the supplemental poverty line, according to one report from the think tank Century Foundation. For her book Holding It All Together: How Women Became America’s Safety Net, Calarco surveyed about 2,000 parents across the U.S.—and found that among families with stay-at-home moms, roughly 75 percent had a household income under $50,000 a year. Roughly half of those families were receiving food stamps and Medicaid, and more than two-thirds reported difficulty paying bills. And although some of these moms really did want to stay home with their kids, most of those she interviewed said they’d love to get a job if they could.

I just want to catch spelling errors and accidental double spaces and repeated phrases and whenever I use the wrong too/to or affect/effect and shit. But no. They've shoved AI up the ass of every grammar checking software out there and now they all fucking suck and make the most random, obnoxious, nonsensical suggestions.

I get why people keep saying this (and other versions of it like "Use Adobe alternatives" and "Use Google product alternatives."). But here's the problem: I do not create in isolation. Even my own 100% personal projects are getting sent to other people whether it's editors or printers or beta readers and unless every single person in that train is using the same products, things can get wonky.

Libre Office and Word handle formatting differently on the back end, which can completely break documents if you move them back and forth between the two. So if I write in Libre Office but my beta readers are still using Word, when I send them a manuscript for review there's a good chance things won't look right and my beta reader will not actually be reviewing what I sent them.

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