Safety is NOT “Cancel Culture”
I need to respond to something that was posted about me.
A post circulated implying that my concerns were personal, emotional, or rooted in “cancel culture,” rather than about safety. The post framed this as women gossiping, exaggerating, or trying to sway others over hurt feelings. What stands out most is that none of the people making or amplifying these claims ever asked me what happened. Some stated publicly that they didn’t need to.
So I want to be very clear: this was not personal, and it was not about disappointment. It was about safety.
I worked with someone I considered both a friend and a producer. Prior to the shoot, I clearly disclosed multiple medical conditions that are widely known in the community and that directly affect my circulation, skin integrity, and infection risk. These include circulation issues, a history of blood clots, blood thinners, diabetes, and extremely fragile skin.
For a foot tickling scene, I brought my own medically appropriate stocks designed to prevent friction and injury. The producer repeatedly argued with me about using his stocks instead. I explained why they were unsafe for me and that they lacked adequate padding. I offered compromises, such as adding protective padding under my heels, which were rejected for aesthetic reasons.
I was also repeatedly pressured to drink alcohol despite expressing discomfort.
The producer insisted on using toe ties, despite my clearly stated circulation risks. I explained that I would not be able to reliably speak up in the moment if something was wrong because I would be restrained and actively being tickled, and that he would need to actively monitor for signs of injury, discoloration, or bleeding. He explicitly stated he would be too focused on tickling to do that, and when I said I wouldn’t be willing to do the scene, he then assured me he could handle it.
During the scene, the setup failed. My heels rubbed against the equipment, causing skin tears. Because I was restrained and being tickled, I did not immediately realize the extent of the injury. When the scene ended and I was released, there was visible bleeding from both heels.
I immediately cleaned and treated the wounds. By the time I got home, the injuries were infected. I required medical treatment, including a tetanus shot and multiple rounds of antibiotics. Due to my medical conditions, this posed serious risks. I now have permanent scarring and circulation complications.
When I informed the producer days later, his response was: “oof, that sucks,” followed by being ghosted.
This is not gossip. This is not cancel culture. This is not someone being upset because a session didn’t meet expectations.
Now, to the part that needs to be said plainly.
If you claim to be “a girl’s girl” or to act in the interest of women, you cannot hear a man say, “She’s just upset, I did nothing wrong,” while a woman is saying she was injured, and then decide not to ask the woman a single question. That is not neutral. That is not protective. That is not safety-focused.
Believing one side by default, dismissing the other without inquiry, and publicly minimizing harm while admitting you don’t know the full story is not a safe way to handle situations involving women’s bodies, health, or consent. It is one-sided and biased, whether intentional or not.
Being there for women means listening when a woman says she was hurt. It means asking questions before making public judgments. It means understanding that warning others about documented safety issues is not “shit talking” or manipulation. It is harm reduction.
I have documentation of my injuries and timelines. I did not ask anyone to cancel anyone. I shared safety concerns because people deserve informed consent when choosing who they work or play with.
If community spaces treat injury disclosures as drama and refuse to listen because it’s inconvenient, that is how unsafe behavior continues.
This is why I spoke up. Safety is the point.
