trying to be punk rock about the Loch Ness Monster

i have [gestures vaguely] my tendencies

why do people think victorian orphans were like. the peak of sheltered pure innocence

"imagine feeding mountain dew to a victorian orphan" they'd probably appreciate the pick-me-up before their shift as junior osha violator at the accident factory

"imagine showing a victorian orphan vtubers" they'd say "this is boring i wanna watch public executions"

#that victorian orphan works as a chimblysweep to buy lifesaving medical cocaine and chloroform for his sister and yall dont even smoke weed

ra ra rasputin is objectively the funniest song ever written it's like "rasputin was an advisor to the romanovs and honestly he was a bit of a power-hungry conman (oof)... but you're not here for a history lesson! you want to know how much he fucked, don't you? well i'll tell you: he fucked. he fucked often and severely."

and it's a banger

being a bitch actually saves you a lot of time

I wish to purchase goods and services without entering a blood covenant that entitles the provider to email and text me forever and also store a bunch of my personal data that they’re going to apologize for exposing in a breach in the next five to ten years

cats are so naturally skilled at Writhing In Sunbeam. i wish i had even a fraction of this talent but instead i just have all these bones

a cancelled show can be a dead wife

Pushing Daisies……..

desired you while the women flee

my account is rated G for girls, gays and goths

and for the criminally underrated percussion instrument the Glockenspiel

ART as a character is great because it's an answer to the age-old question of "what if you encountered what's essentially a man-made eldritch horror and it was so fucking annoying about it"