Linnetagain

Aaaah I love this concept!! I feel like it's the default to put yourself down about your work and your art and I don't want to do that. I'm not going to claim that it's perfect or some kind of other ridiculous standard because it's not, but I have put my heart and soul and occasionally my entire ass into my writing and being depreciative about it feels like being deprecating of myself. I hadn't written for fun in so long, so to have found that again and to have made so many wonderful people happy along the way is more than I ever could have dreamed of just over a year ago. I refuse to not be proud of what I've created!

Anyway so

First Light will always be something I'm proud of. If I wrote it again now there'd be so many things I'd change, but it was the first thing I'd written in so long and it was so much fun.

(Cheating but I'm also really proud of some of the world building, plotting and dialogue in the post-game sequel - aside from the embarrassment that it will likely never get finished now)

I loved writing What Fools because it was something totally different from what I'd usually do. I needed a brain break from the intensity of other projects and I was literally just fucking around in my favourite setting with my favourite tropes like 'oooh and what if'. It's also kind of experimental structurally and I'm proud of the way it turned out. My weird little regency fae pride and prejudice meets midsummer night's dream meets bloodweave fic with a sentient house. So, thank you @gewhanaa for being the reason I wrote that.

I love A Good Heart because it's the fluffiest fucking thing I've EVER written, and it's proof that I CAN write short, dammit!! I CAN!!! Also it's about bloodweave being cat dads and Tara and Astarion being dubious allies and not at all friends

Good Men and Monsters is the exact opposite lol, I fully started it thinking it would be done in a week and it's not, but fuck it I've been having so much fun doing The Most Creepiest Victorian Gothic ~~ooooh~~. It's the furthest I've ever written outside of my comfort zone and I'm proud of what I've done with it. I'm still working on the ending of this one because it hates me but I'm proud of the theming, the stylistics, the references and the depth of thought in the imagery. It's one of my least popular fics statistically but the readers who do love it are so vocal it's become very special to me. I love it because it represents a challenge that I still haven't quite overcome, the writer that I'm still working on being, and I'm hopeful and excited about finishing it.

And finally, though I hate it as much as I love it sometimes, it has to be Season. It started out as something so different from what it's become, but the past year of writing it has been incredible on so many levels. To have been rejected by the publishing industry for so long, to let go of all of that and write something that would NEVER work as a conventionally published novel, that lives in a way fanfic can that physical novels can't, and means so much to so many readers, has been an utterly indescribable experience. I've written so much about things that I wasn't even really emotionally equipped to address when I started, and I genuinely feel like writing it has been a growing and healing process. It's not perfect by a long way, and I'm working on accepting that it doesn't have to be. That it can't be, really (what is perfect anyway??? It's fanfic we write for fun and for free for the love of the thing, and that's enough). Part of what I've learned is that not everyone will like everything you write and that's okay! That doesn't mean it's bad or I'm a bad writer, it just means it's not for them. That was an important lesson, I think, because it's made it easier to move on from a decade of rejections. Oh structurally and technically there are things I would probably change if I could, but I'm so proud of myself for writing it at all, and it's still a project that is teaching me every day. That's something special. And even if I totally flub the ending, I'll always be the person that this fic and the community I found through it have made me. And I'll forever be grateful for that.

When songs are mentioned in The Season I often put them on in the background while I read; I was having the greatest time with Gale & Astarion doing their spicy little dance at the party (iykyk). However, while it was clearly stated that it 'was not the Bublé cover, thank God,’ the middle-aged-housewife-with-2.5-kids-living-in-a-Canadian-suburb within me took over and I did, in fact, listen to that version. On repeat. During multiple re-reads. And I’d do it again.

As penance, I offer you some doodles of Hestia I never got around to finishing/cleaning up 😔🙏

oh my god you're so forgiven you're so far into forgiven I think that I owe YOU an apology oh my god LOOK AT HER!!! LOOK AT THEM!!!! I love everything about this!! Her hair is so perfectly thick and floofy and her big ol' expressive eyebrows and the dangerous little pout and AH. AAAAAAAH.

AND SHE AND ASTARION DOING BALLET LESSONS!!!!! I love how perfect his form is and how hard she's trying to be just like him and THE STRIPY SOCKS (she would. She WOULD. They're rainbows, I'm sorry I don't make the rules I just say what I see) and they've both got their charms on and she has a SUN on her t-shirt and she looks so PROOOOOUD

Okay sorry pleas excuse me I have to go and remember how to be a normal human instead of a pile of mush THANK YOU. THANK YOU YOU WONDERFUL PERSON. MWAH.

All jokes aside, I adore this story and the way you write every character as both believably imperfect *and* capable of changing and growing. I love them all. Thank you once again for The Season!!!

Oh god I'm so sorry for putting realism in my fanfic without warning haha

Happy Ides of March to Season!Starion

I am bullying him again, that's his birthday present

I am currently writing a fanfic where the MC has to build a relationship with both her future/past-girlfriend and her future/past-girlfriends kid. The way you're written Hessie in The Season is so genuine and she's literally the best written fanfic kid I've ever stumbled upon, and it's so beautiful and everything I want to achieve!!!

Do you have any advice on how to write a child realistically, and more importantly, how to write an adult trying to build a relationship with them? I really want to do this idea justice, but I don't really have any actual experiences to approach it from.

oh hello lovely commenter thank you!!! I, uh, don't think I have a simple answer for you unfortunately but I can definitely give tips! I did work with children for a long time so a lot of Hessie's mannerisms are based off those kids.

Firstly, the age of the kid makes a massive difference. Developmentally, the difference between five and six and six and seven are HUGE. Knowing a little bit about developmental psychology and at what age kids start understanding things, and I would say developing empathy and logic are key to the way kids interact with the world and people around them. Seven year olds are (usually) right on the edge between two of Piaget's stages of development - preoperational and concrete operational. Like most developmental models it's pretty wide, pretty general, and doesn't make a lot of space for differing experiences (neurodivergence, trauma, etc) but I'd recommend looking into it as a place to start! The thing with Hessie that I try and keep in mind is that she's actually (usually) pretty developmentally ahead of the curve in terms of being able to consider the perspectives of other people. Most kids up to her age are pretty ego-centric. But Hessie has come from an environment that was emotionally unstable, so she's developed the ability to read other people's emotional states more quickly than other children might. Worth noting, though, is that when something happens, she's actually often more worried about being told off/what consequences there will be for her of having been 'bad' (running into the road, for example) than she is about the consequences of her actions, especially on other people. She's developing logic, but it's still pretty simple cause-and-effect understanding, and she struggles when it becomes abstract.

This is actually one of the reasons I brought books into it for her, because a lot of the kids I used to work with were readers, and were taking their cues of what was normal and acceptable social behaviours from those books, and often the specific circumstances in them. Especially having been very young during the COVID years, I think this is something a lot of parents leaned into as a way of socialising their kids without being able to actually socialise them. Kids are like sponges, and a solid 90% of the way they act and interact with the world is informed by their home life. Hestia is a complex little girl partially because she's had such mixed messages over what behaviour is and isn't acceptable. Thankfully she has had at least one role model who treats her compassionately and like she's worth listening to, otherwise she'd be a very different person.

I guess the main thing for me is always going to be that no matter how young they are, kids are people, and they're just as diverse in personality as adults - honestly if not more so because they're often more unfiltered.

From personal experience, to bond with a kid you have to respect them, and make it clear that you enjoy and appreciate their company. Practice active listening, and so on. The rest of it is personality. It's just figuring out what works for who the same way as you do with adult friends. I had kids who loved hanging out with me because we could be quiet. I had kids who loved hanging out because I'd listen to them ramble when other adults wouldn't. I had kids who loved it when we got up to nonsense together. I think the best way to bond with any kid is just to keep showing up for them, you know? They'll show you what they need if you pay attention.

With realism in general, I think detail always helps. Hestia has a lot of characteristics inspired by kids I've known. Her obsession with Frozen, for example. Kids often have really distinct preferences. Foods they love or hate. Colours. Sports. Music. And they'll change their minds from day to day, sometimes for no apparent reason. And then they'll have some things that will just absolutely never change. For Hessie, for example. she's got a new idea of what she wants to be when she grows up every week, but she's always going to love reading and music. Throwing things like that in make a person feel real, and kids especially. No orange squash if it's got mango in it! That one's stolen directly from my own childhood lol, which I also recommend doing. Any weird quirks from when you were a kid can be really helpful.

What I will say is that I think Hestia and Astarion were always going to be friends because they both wanted to be. Hestia definitely has attachment issues (fuck you, Mystra) partially from her mum being emotionally unavailable and partially because Gale spent so much of her childhood away from home, and that's manifested itself as a tendency to grab onto people who look like they might stick around with both hands. And for Astarion, it's pretty straightforward: Gale matters to him, and Hestia matters to Gale. Ergo, Hestia matters to Astarion from the very start, even if he doesn't know exactly how much that will come to mean eventually. They're open to each other, which is key. And psychologically, they've both been through some shit. Even at that very first point when they meet through the phone call, even when Astarion's annoyed with her, he treats her questions like they're worth answering and he doesn't let any of that annoyance through to her. From that very first moment, even though he's telling her something she doesn't want to hear, he identifies himself to Hestia, a child who has not a lot of support, as a safe person. Even when he doesn't know what he's doing, he shows up for her, and listens to her, and makes it clear that he likes her and respects her. He's honest with her, as far as he can be, and he values her honesty in return, and as such she knows (though probably could not articulate) that she's trusted with vulnerable parts of him and that she can trust him with her own. And Hestia needs that. Especially because she's so scared of being any kind of annoyance or asshole in the way that is actually perfectly fucking normal for young children - which is, also, sadly something that Astarion understands.

Just thinking about them both being married, out gay couples during the 2026 winter Olympics. Ilya being a Canadian citizen and being on the Canadian Olympic team with Shane as his HUSBAND. Probably Gale & Astarion get papped watching the figure skating together. Fuck it while we're here Gale has done a medley of Golden/Golden with the Kpop Demon Hunter girlies (you know he would, they are The Moment and the Olympics are not subtle about their imagery) and there are fan edits of Goldenboys&Hollanov made to it. The you-know-whos have an aneurysm because two of the most famous and popular winter Olympians of the time are Russian and queer as fuck and unrepentantly obnoxious and married about it. Do you see the vision?

Thank you!

oooh these are some good questions !!

🤗 What advice would you give to new fanfic writers that are just getting started?

Have fun! It seems like such simple advice but it's the easiest thing to forget, you know? Fandom is a space free of (most of) the demands of capitalism and the stricter rigours of the publishing world. You can do almost whatever the fuck you want. Try new things. Stan that rarepair. We're in this space because we got obsessed with the blorbos, you can angst the shit out of them or drop them into the crackiest crack fic that ever cracked and there's no reason not to. Don't write what you think will be popular if it doesn't interest you. The wonderful thing about fandom spaces is that you can write the most depraved, wild, out of pocket shit, and SOMEONE out there is going to be absolutely fucking stoked to find it.

Write what you want to write, and if you don't have fun doing it, stop!

On the other side of that, posting into the internet wilds means being aware that while 90% of it is positive, there's always going to be some hiccups.

I think it's important to be open to feedback. You can be the most pure-hearted fairytale creature and still fuck up occasionally, but lbr, we're people and we make mistakes. So I guess give yourself grace to enjoy yourself, by which I mean - don't push for perfection at the cost of passion, be open to feedback and ready to improve, but know when to draw the line and tell a rude stranger on the internet that you write for free and for fun and if they don't like what you're doing then they don't have to read it. Some people just will not enjoy what you do, and for some reason, will feel the need to share that with you. You are under no obligation to engage with them. You can be kind and still draw healthy boundaries.

Oh and learn to tag content properly when you're posting. That's a very important one.

👀 Tell me about an up and coming wip please!

Oh man I don't have any new ones, but I'm working on the next chapters of Season, On My Cue and Good Men right now! The latter two are closest to being done in terms of how complete they are but Season kinda always takes priority for me so god knows what will actually end up getting finished up first. I'm very excited for all of them though and there's some big plot twists and revelations coming up in all of them!! I think On My Cue is losing a chapter from my original outline, and Good Men is gaining one, lol. What even are plans.

🎉 What leads you to consider a fic a success?

Oooh, I don't know. I think the main thing for me is that I enjoyed writing it, and if I come back for a re-read I enjoy reading it haha. I think also if it's got comments from people who are either highlighting little bits and pieces I put in there that make me go !!! you spotted it!!! or if they say they've really enjoyed it or it's been a comfort or helped them realize something or make some kind of positive progress in their own life - that means a lot. The most, really. That's what keeps me writing on my bad days.

For a couple of them it's about whether I feel I've pulled off the style or the themeing too, which is hard to gauge.

💌 How do you feel about comments and feedback?

Oops I think I already answered this one, but yup. Catnip! I love it.

An extra heart for extra kudos? Mmm, sublime.

A little note to say they enjoyed it? Perfection. Like a sweet little treat.

People quoting their favourite bits and their reactions to them back at me? Rapturous. I'm on the floor.

Long paragraphs about the themes or a particular moment or why it matters to someone right now? I'm down. I'm out. I need 2 to 4 business days to walk at street level instead of two steps above it.

Although I'm terrible at actually replying to comments (I'm trying to do more, I promise) mostly because I get overwhelmed and I don't know how to make my responses sound sincere and not just like I'm repeating myself, but I love comments. And bookmarks. I read both those things over and over and over. I try to write for myself primarily, but knowing that my work resonates with people and that they're enjoying it is literally the best fucking thing. It makes me so goddamn happy. Ngl I kind of wish there was a way as a creator you could pin your favourite comments and go back to them, lol, I just have to try and remember what works and chapters they're on when I want to go back and re-read them.

🥰 How do you feel about reader interaction? Are you open to receiving questions about your fics?

I love that too! I think sometimes if I'm just writing and posting and not interacting with anyone outside of that I feel a little bit like a name rather than a person, so when people ask me details about my fics and I get to be a person as well as an author it's really lovely. I have met some truly incredible people that way.

You are enabling my tendency to yap I fear @nivasichakano haha

😈 Has there been a point in a story where you did something just to be playfully mean to your readers?

Oh absolutely, but if it helps I'm also being playfully mean to myself haha. I think the most dramatic things my characters have done just because I thought it would be fun and make readers want to scream at me include;

Astarion stealing and wearing a Worth gown and proceeding to taunt Gale in it in Good Men and Monsters

Gale singing a love song at Astarion in front of a room full of people who know exactly what he's doing AEONS before either of them even get close to confessing in Season

The structure of On My Cue featuring Mystra dropping in at the end of Every Single Chapter to be a judgemental bitch and fuck with Gale lol

When the letter arrives dramatically in Homemade it smacks Astarion in the face, for no good reason, and I still think that's the funniest and most unnecessary thing I've ever done to him, including the time I threw him off a horse

I was going to include Gale standing up to and refusing Mystra and fully expecting her to essentially murder him for it in First Light but honestly, that felt necessary as fuck lol. That was for my own catharsis more than to fuck with the reader lol, even though it was then playing with the drama of like holy shit is he even going to survive this?? after everything??

🛒 What are some common things you incorporate in your fics? Themes, feels, scenes, imagery, etc.

Oooh, interesting. Honestly I mostly write the falling-in-love part of stories because I love poking at that connection, exploring that chemistry between two people. My favourite part of writing a fic is nearly always the 'confession' moment, I think, and I can't think of many of mine that don't have that scene in some form or another. I think most of my fics also have a little sparkle of humour too, no matter how bleak, because I'm not capable of writing true angst lol. I will bully the boys until kingdom come, but always with the intention of them getting their well-deserved happy ending.

More generally I think I gravitate back towards stories that are ultimately about self-forgiveness, and what it means to meet someone who changes the way you look at yourself, hopefully for the better, and how love can be just as much something you choose as something that happens to you. I'm always working on radical self-acceptance so I think my characters usually are too, whether it's very overtly a struggle with the way they perceive themselves like in Good Men, or whether it's slightly more subtle like in What Fools, there's always this kind of sense of re-discovering yourself as you reveal your core to another person for the first time, and the strength there can be in that vulnerability. There's a lot about choosing to grow, as well. I think regardless of whether the stories are happening on windswept cliffs or Fae-touched Georgian estates or a modern day ice rink, there's always this idea that you can grow, you can change, you don't have to be held down by your past but you can move forward with it, and the right people will help you. Or at least, I hope there is!

⛔ Do you have a fic you started, but scrapped?

Technically no, I don't think so. But I tend to write by sketching out scenes and feeling out where I want them to go. I've mentioned this before but the last chapter of Season had so many rewrites I think I have about 50,000 words of unused content, and the story is now going in a wildly different direction.

Oh wait no I've just remembered that I started writing a wildly self-indulgent isekai fic for my birthday this year during which the BW boys fell through portals to visit some of my wilder AU fics and the previous fandoms I've been a part of lol. It was very silly but I couldn't figure out enough of a plot thread to make it interesting enough to actually finish lol. I did have a lot of fun imagining canon!Astarion and Gale meeting Season!Astarion and Gale tho lol (I think canon!Gale finding out Season!Gale is a father has so much potential for hilarity and angst in equal measure). It got progressively sillier too, so they ended up in the James Bond universe, meeting the miniatures in NATTM, and Yuuri and Viktor from YOI. Maybe one day I'll go back to it lol

Thank you for asking, I had fun answering these!!

I literally have no idea why but every time I look at it I'm just thinking "Hell yeah, Gale would love that" so since I can't show it to Gale I'll show it to you instead!

omg yes!! Amazing!!!