Follow the Lines

"I was safe, promise. I...sort of met someone and ended up crashing there for the night," she admitted, knowing that would raise far more questions.

"Well goddamn, Molls, if you wanted to be this close to me, all you had to do was ask."

"I text mom this morning to let her know I was safe. You don't have to worry so much, okay?"

"Did you not get the memo, Amber? I'm like a professional worrier at this point. Really, it's my area of expertise." Especially when it came to his softer siblings.

"Remind me to ward my shop against the whole damn lot of you. I'm assuming Fulton gave you this address? And, please, don't touch the books. They're old."

"I'm not here to bug you about whatever you seem to think I'm here to bug you about. Granddad sent me. Mom borrowed one of his books and someone borrowed it from her. Wasn't me. Thought it might have been you. Borrow anything from her recently?" She'd considered dropping by his home for this, but she knew he valued his privacy and space, and she got that, probably more than a lot of their siblings. Gods knew she didn't want anyone at her place. This had seemed... better.

"No use wishin' to go back to how things used to be 'cause I'm not even that person anymore."

"Never been one for wishing on the past. No point wasting a wish on changing things that've already happened. Would rather focus that kinda energy on the future, y'know?"

"I don't know. But what I do know is my mom and dad didn't trust Ren for the longest time and they all somehow made it work. Enough so that I have siblings. I know Starla's willing to work on things and I know I trust her. I know it physically fucking hurts when you're not around and I can't fucking sleep anyway because I roll over to find you and you're not fucking there and it hurts all fucking over again."

"Maybe. But I don't think Ren cared that they didn't trust him. Hell, he might have even liked that your dad was afraid of him." He wouldn't put that kind of thing past Ren. "I don't like that you're ready to flinch away from me at any given moment."

the answer actually does surprise sandy. because for as long as he’s known mat, he’s known that the other doesn’t do bad well, if he even tries to do it at all. “so you talked to them about all of it, but you won’t talk to me about it?”

that's different, in ways mat doesn't entirely know how to voice. he can talk to his siblings about sandy. and most of his friends -- even if he spares dee from a lot of the details. but talking to sandy about it all? "you... were there. do you need us to rehash it?"

"I don't know if I'll ever be able to trust you again, but I'm so fucking tired of pretending I don't fucking miss you and I think I hate that more than anything."

"And if you can't trust me, where do you think that leaves us? Do you think we can share a bed while you're wondering if I'm going to kill you in your sleep? Share a meal when you're half convinced I'm going to poison it? Build a life while you wonder not if but when I'm going to betray you and Starla? When I'm going to hurt you? Missing me doesn't make a difference if you're never going to be able to relax around me or feel safe around me."

"That's because you have way too many goddamn siblings. The kind of stray that thought he was human but he's actually one of my grandfather's bastards and not in a consensual way. He has no fucking clue and it really needs to stay that way but fuck me sideways, the price of that is my parents showed up at my fucking doorstep."

"Take your complaint up with my parents. My mom will shoot you for it." If he didn't know his parents, he'd honestly be baffled that they managed to have any kids, let alone this many. "Both your parents? I'm kind of impressed. They're not really known for a united front, are they? So did you come here to give me an update or did you come here to have an excuse to avoid dear old mom and dad?"

"I may or may not have picked up a stray and dropped him off with your brother. The anxious, paranoid, techy one."

"Techy is the only word you just used that narrowed down which brother it was. Anxious and paranoid describes Cooper, too. Also what kind of stray and should I be concerned?"

“if you’re gonna tell them everything, don’t leave out the good part. tell ‘em how you broke my heart.”

"do you really think i haven't mentioned that part? sometimes i don't shut the fuck up about you, sandy. which means they've heard every detail, good, bad, and in-between."

That was the honest truth. With what seemed like a fairly stable roof over his head for at least a little while, and not really knowing all the in and outs of his apparent not being as human as he previously believed, suicide was pretty far down on Ben's list of current priorities at least.

KRISTINE FROSETH IN THE BUCCANEERS