devil's playground

"Get high as a fucking kite, cause an obscene amount of chaos and go out kicking. I wonder if anyone's ever destroyed the Minister's office with a few dungbombs and peace disturbers."

"People forget we have to piece bodies back together. The best ones are like one big elaborate puzzle, but there's nothing quite like fixing up a crushed skull."

"You get fun shit like people wanting their corpse animated to literally wave goodbye from the casket and fly-by broom precessions. I've even heard of people asking us to obliviate and/or plant false memories with their loved ones so they think they never actually died, just fucked off to another country somewhere."

Oh Merlin! Who's to say I haven't done that already?! And it wasn't even a teeny-tiny one!

Being able to tell if someone is going to be a pain in my ass just by looking at them. Like, I'm embarrassed for them that I've been able to work it out so quickly, you know?

“Maybe a month if we ask Peeves to help,” the poltergeist had already stolen her socks, he was a nasty little thing until Freddy plied him with candies and Weasley Wheezes. The corridors were emptying, classes coming back into session, droll Professor intonations wafting from open doors and windows. “I’ll call you for the next fight, already overheard some fifth years drama and plans for a duel in the Shrieking Shack, might be a fun friend-date for us. We can get score cards.” The Dueling Club was well and fun, but everyone knew the best fights were the unsanctioned ones, plus she always made a killing on the bets. 

“C’mon we know much better spells than those boring Unforgivables by now - which reminds me I did sneak a few spells outta my brother’s Auror books.” Micah needed his own apartment if he didn’t want her to snoop. 

“Worked at a candy shop, stole some art with Q, broke my Mum’s vase. Got grounded for sneaking out to that Cthulhu show, go grounded again for trying to go to Knockturn Alley. Only went to hospital once!” Freddy reported with a bubbly grin, “How was yours, anything majorly interesting?”

Linden nearly beamed. “Oh, you are wicked, little Freddy. I think that’s a fantastic idea. We can get him to sing that song of yours as well, just to scare them shitless even more,” they said, pressing a hand to Freddy’s arm in excitement at just the idea alone.

“You know I’ll be there, managing the odds. I’ve got bank to make on people thinking the school hotshot will win until they actually have to handle the expectation and buckle under the pressure,” they nodded before raising an eyebrow curiously, “Well... now you have to tell me what you have; can’t have you keeping all those secrets up your sleeve. What if you got roped into a duel as well? That’d be unfair odds.”

“I think they were asking for the bathroom so you’re probably right about being the new title holder. Truly a right of passage to get lost on the stairs the first year.” It was still frustrating to Des when the stairs moved and she had to wait for them to switch back. “Maybe we’re just getting old but I don’t remember us looking like such babies when we first came to school.”

.

“Yeah, I don’t think I ever wore my tie that tightly or that long,” Linden said, tipping their head to one side, “I think it was because I knew Peeves would use it to his advantage. Do you think if I asked him nicely he’ll be even more of a nuisance to them than usual?”

“Normally I’m babysitting my siblings or helping guests at the BnB. You may actually know my little sisters they’ve been here for a couple of years: Sorcha and Catriona.” Her sisters didn’t want to hang out with Kennedy much because they had their own friends in their grades. “What is there to do around here on the weekends? Besides reciting poems?”

.

“Well that all sounds incredibly boring and nowhere near as fun as the kind of shit that goes on in this place. You’d best get used to a change of pace,” they said. As soon as Kennedy mentioned her siblings, Linden shrugged and shook their head; they didn’t make a particularly conscious effort to know people in the castle, let alone their a different year. “Anything to do?” They blew a raspberry and scrunched their nose, “Depends what you’re into. Book reading and long walks, plenty of them. Mischief and questionable deeds to pass the time, however? You need to organise those yourself.”

.

“They seem lost,” Freddy watched as they scurried away, heads knocking together over a map, “but it doesn’t matter if we give them directions they’ll always be late the first week.” Freddy was sure the Castle was sentient and played tricks on the first years. “I caught two of the firsties dueling last night when I went to the kitchens, throwing sparks at each other like it was life or death.” Freddy giggled, “It’ll be poorly aimed Jelly Legged Jinxs and Tongue-Tying Curses until Christmas, I don’t miss not knowing anything more fun.”

.

“We could always make it two weeks... three if we’re smart about it,” they said, gaze still trained on the pair that wondered down the hall, plan forming in the back of Linden’s mind. Their head lolled to the side, finally facing Freddy, “There was fighting and you didn’t do anything to tell me about it until now? I’d have love to have seen some eleven year-olds trying to beat the shit out of each other. But you’re right, knowing about unforgivable curses is much more fun.”