Matriarch Goode

Stan closed his eyes as they kept walking, his steps almost musical as he seemed to hop, skip and jump whenever it suited his fancy. It was like a child’s tendency to stray and start jumping over cracks. They weren’t huge movements, just small quirks, but none of the less it gelled with his easy, laidback persona. This, unlike his professional or friendly neighbour facades, was not fake. The truth of it was that he was a whimsical man, in both choice and character, and in moments like this, wind through his hair and the cold chill keeping him aware, he wanted nothing more than just be himself. Considering he was walking with a stranger, what was the harm? 

His eyes peered open and flickered to her at her answer and returned question, a gentle smile spreading across his lips as he pulled his jacket a little closer. “I gotcha, don’t worry, I won’t get in your way.”

“…No, no, I haven’t got anyone waiting on me, just a lone ranger.” He let out a small breath, turning his eyes back to the skies, as the club of Heracles flashed and the physique of Orion revealed itself behind some clouds. The beauty of places like Devil’s knot was the absence of too much pollution, giving you a clear side of the heavens. 

“Felt…well I wanted to do my bit, but I’m not here with anyone.” Stan threw his accomplice a sheepish look, pulling his hand out to scratch his beard almost shyly.

“Is that weird?”

Linda smiled softly to herself as they walked away from the centre. She let out a breath as she felt herself relax just a little. The thought of what she was doing had entered her mind. What was she doing alone with a good looking guy? She decided not to think about that but she about relaxing instead. Being around other people tended to set her more on edge but being around Stan didn’t feel like that. His voice was soothing and he wasn’t prying. The fact he moved so differently now than he had before was just an indication that they both felt more relaxed. 

His kind response caused her to smile again. “Thanks.” She replied, as she looked up to meet his eyes. Gosh, Linda thought as she struggled to keep the conversation going. The silence was not a bad one though, the quiet was peaceful instead of odd.

Linda thought about his response. She could hardly remember the last time she had been completely by herself. It was over fifteen years ago. “How is that?” She asked, genuinely wanting to know. It could be a conscious decision or maybe he was lonely. “I don’t mean to pry.” She added, knowing what that felt like.

His look seemed slightly self-conscious like he didn’t really know how to explain himself to someone else. Linda squeezed her arms as she looked up at the brilliant stars as well. “I’m sure that it’s appreciated.” She replied, honestly. Linda wasn’t someone who seemed confident, she was overall a shy person but she always spoke her own truth. 

“No, that’s not weird.” Linda replied. “I think it’s natural to want to help. And, I mean, you never know what might help or make someone feel better.” Linda paused as she thought about her other two children.

She had a nice laugh, and there was something about it, a sort of fragility, as if she hadn’t made such a sound for a long time that made the sound almost crack at the end of her voice. The teacher’s eyes roamed her for a moment, observing this puzzle. It hadn’t escaped him that she didn’t offer his name, and most people would have pushed by now, but in all honesty Stan was happy to not know. There were times were the mystery was part of the fun, and there was no harm in allowing her some privacy anyway. He was after all, just a strange man who had offered her a cigarette and a walk. 

At her acceptance, his smile grew broader, and his face lit up. With goofy enthauiasm, he drew his boots together in a sharp click, as he gave her a joking salute. In moments like this, brevity never hurt and she looked like she could do with a bit more light hearted talks. Call it Stan’s instinct. “Just a small walk, aye, aye, Ma’am!” 

“Just this way…” He gestured towards the sidewalk that extended out of the community centre car park, waiting for Linda to go first before stepping in line with her.

As they started off, Stan glanced back at the centre before turning his attention to his guest. Somehow, this whole thing had made him a little bit more springy in his step. Just like she was hiding herself, this gave him an opportunity to not have to worry about his own identity and past. “Have you got people waiting for you in there…since you can’t go too far and all that.”

His enthusiasm was contagious as she felt a smile spread on her lips. She blew out the last of her smoke as dropped her cigarette and stepped on it, ending its burning. Then she dipped down and threw it away in a bin. Somehow the fact that she always had to be on her best behaviour was ingrained in her, as well as the fact that she always had to hide when she smoked so she couldn’t leave any traces behind. Another laugh escaped her lips. “Alright. Good.”

Linda stepped out and walked as Stan fell into step with her. Her eyes glanced back to see if anyone followed her or was coming out to get her. When no one appeared, she figured she could leave - even if it was just for a second. Their privacy surrounded them like a cloud. Privacy from the outside world and from each other. She only knew his name and that was good enough for now, it was all she needed. It was Devil’s knot, what was the worst that could happen to her while being out on a strange walk without anyone knowing?

For a second she thought she caught him doing the same, wondering why he had been doing that. Did he also have children? Or the eyes of an entire community on him? Linda felt herself pause at his question. “Um,” She paused as she wrapped her arms around her to keep herself warm. “Yeah, I have people counting on me. I need to make sure they get home safe.” Linda replied, a soft smile slipping on her lips as her eyes creased as well. A true, genuine smile. “What about yourself?”

6:00 PM ,14th October 1996. 

Linda walked down from the parking lot to the community centre. It surprised her to see how many people were already walking around there. A lot had showed up with food or other things that they wanted to give to the family. To her family. Most days it still didn’t feel real to Linda, she expected to open Brian’s room door and find his small back turned to her as he slept deeply. 

Someone came to stand next to her. It took her a second to push her memories away again as she turned to the person, sadness still evident on her face before she turned her lips up into a smile. “Hi, good evening,” Linda spoke up first, “Anything I can help you with?”

“Go figure, me too, but I dunno, around here I think I might end up picking it up again at this rate.” Stan’s accent was quite something, it certainly wasn’t from around these parts, but there was a sense of old-style politeness to it, even though he enunciated far too well to be country. It was the exact type of voice you’d want to spend your time listening to read out a book.

He glanced away as she took her time with the cigarette, flicking his own one into the bush beside his car, done with his little treat. There was a niggling part of his brain that felt like there was something about her that he recognised, but he chalked it up to blondes being quite a thing in his life at the moment due to a certain someone. But it was rude to stare, even at pretty girls and he was, if nothing, a gentleman when possible.

Stan took in the silence, just taking a deep breath in, letting the fresh air fill him and clear his mind. Sometimes he just had too many thoughts going at once. The school paper, keeping his past under wraps, her, trying to learn more about the Brian situation, money. It all built like a poorly stacked deck of cards and sometimes a reshuffle was due just in moments like this.

At the stranger’s comments, he gave her a faint smile, which curled to the corner of his eyes. “Ah, same here. It’s quite…well, people have spoken about it enough as it is, I won’t add to it. End of the day, chatting and gossiping away about it won’t help.”

He slipped off his hood, tucking his hands into his coat. For a moment he was tempted to just leave, but something about her seemed fragile and it felt a little wrong to have eyed her up for a while and then just leave. “I urm…”

“I was gonna go for a walk, if you want to join me. I know, a bit forward but…well, it’s up to you.”

Linda laughed. Yeah, wasn’t that the truth. Every day felt so stressful or so numb at the same time. Mainly around other people, when Linda was just home alone or with the children, she felt okay. Being around others added all kind of pressures that felt at times like someone was suffocating her. It was mostly either the pitying stares she got or all these questions she had no answers to. This guy was something else, he seemed to genuinely have no idea who she was which was something completely refreshing. It had been a long time since she felt like that. Just a woman, a person. Not a mother who had a missing child. Not a divorced wife who left a very difficult relationship. Not a young and pregnant college drop out. 

His voice was also incredibly soothing like if she closed her eyes and heard him it felt like she was all alone in the world. Somewhere calming and somewhere she didn’t have to think about anything. Linda felt a wobbly smile slip on her lips as he smiled at her. She let the smoke escape her lips as she exhaled. “You’re right about that. There has been so much talk, it’s easy to get overwhelmed.” 

Stan couldn’t help letting out a small laugh at her reaction, he offers an apologetic smile, the glint of his teeth in the moonlight. He tips his head towards her, like an old gentleman proffering his hat, though his eyes never leave her, whirling dark blues looking darker in the night. “Sorry about that ma’am, didn’t mean to cause you a fright.” 

He knocked the packet against his knee, still sat ontop his car like some teenage back in the 50s, his padded jacket swirling in the October chill. If she looked close enough, there were a few holes in some parts of it, it was an old beat-up thing that he only tended to wear when he was sure someone wouldn't’ see him. Part of the territory when it came to this rather humble life, he spent most of his money on workwear, making sure to seem the polished, handsome English lover he wished he was. A single cigarette poked out at Stan’s knock, and he pointed it towards her, letting her take it before reaching into his coat to take up a lighter. 

“Here, I’ve got you.” He murmured, the ash off the tip of his own smoke crumbling off as he leaned forward to light her end. Beneath the thick scent of smoke, there’s also a swirl of cologne, it had surprisingly floral undertones, a little more depth than usual in men’s perfume. 

“Name’s Stan, by the way. What brings you around these parts, Ma’am?” 

Linda’s eyes went as big as saucers, something she was well aware of about her appearance. Her mother always used to tell her that when she was born, she would receive floods of compliments about her baby’s big eyes. She’d never really grown into them. They were by far her most outstanding feature, which wasn’t saying much because Linda always thought she looked rather plain. Despite that, she smiled back at the guy who just caused her almost to have a heart attack. He carried something very handsome in his face but also something distant. “That’s alright.” Linda replied with a smile.

As he offered her the packet, the cigaret sticking out, Linda reconsidered her choice but figured she was allowed to destress just a little. The last time she smoked was probably when she had been at uni. It was the way to network with people and a lot of people did it to destress as well. Well, after that Linda had become pregnant and Paul didn’t want that around the children so she quit for good. His words felt odd, Linda couldn’t remember the last time a man said something like that to her. She focused on the cigaret as she inhaled deeply, her eyes falling to a close for a second as she felt the familiar burn and exhaled. “Thanks, it’s been a very long time since I’ve had one of these.”

Cakes, church and charm | Stan & Linda

8pm, Monday 14th October, 1996 @linda-goode

Stan stared at the end of his cigarette as it burned slowly in the dark fall air. It was like the flash of a lighthouse in the blackened sky, the only sign of life outdoors at the moment as the lights of the community centre behind him spilled out into the concrete car park. He sat on the hood of his beat up car, the rusted blue surface chipping a little further from the press of his jeans, not that it really mattered. 

He took another deep inhale of the tobacco, letting the smoke burn at the back of his throat, keeping him awake. In truth he’d found the whole thing both overwhelming and boring in equal measure. The press of plastic smiles and voices raised one too many octaves high, the sweet, sickly smell of baked goods, the slip of sweaty palms together in greeting. It was all very spiriting but also faker than the rims of his car.

While the teacher could play the game as well as anyone, there were times where one just needed to escape it all. Which is what left him lingering alone with just a smoke for company. He wasn’t even a regular, but always carried a crumpled pack for moments like this. The acrid smell reminded him of college, a time where his optimistic limits hadn’t yet come crashing down and it felt good to lose himself in the memories again rather than linger on the ills of Devil’s Knot. 

As he sat puffing away, more focused on the night’s sky than anything, he caught her out of the corner of his eyes. She floated out into the dark like a starlit saint, her steps light and head tilted up, as if beseeching the heavens for some answers. 

At first, Stan didn’t approach, he didn’t even make a sound as she walked past him, only the crackling of crisp filter paper to be heard. Instead he just stared at her, the cogs of his mind processing her, her beauty and more than that, her sadness. Perhaps that’s what caught his interest most, she looked like the old romantic portraits of women who had lost their lovers, that eerily drawing tragedy written into the lines of their face. He didn’t recognise her, which after he came to learn who she was later, was a fact that he would chastised himself for. 

Finally, he managed to draw it within him to stop staring and speak, his voice crumpled around the edges, catching the vowels with a harsh cut from the cigarette. “It can get be a much, right? All the chatter, all the faces.”

“Want one?” He offered out his pack simply, a small smile on his lips.

Linda had been at the Community centre for hours now. She had helped with the preparations and had been there for the whole duration of it. In the morning, she had spent the whole time making breakfast for Beth and David before getting ready. Once she was dressed, Linda paused at as she caught sight of herself in the mirror. The dark marks under her eyes were only growing darker as the days passed her by. She couldn’t remember the last time she put effort into her appearance. Actually, she did. Her birthday, a week before Brian went missing. Her hair fell in soft waves and the eyeshadow she wore shimmered in the light, making her eyes look vividly green. That felt a lifetime ago. 

Perching down by her mirror, Linda ran her fingers through her hair as she thought back to those memories. Clicking her hair curler on, she got to work. After about an hour the vision in her mind stood before her. Her blonde hair fell down in soft waves, her long lashes coated with mascara and her dark circles were gone. She also opted for a smarter looking blouse that was a little more flattering than the simple t-shirt she wore before. In a way, she felt very odd but at the same time, it felt very good. For the first time in a long time, she felt like herself again.

So, this is how she looked while thanking everyone for their donations, gifts and presence. Linda was determined to show a strong front to those around her. She knew her son was out there and they were going to find him. She just knew it. Not a lot of other people seemed to share her opinion. All the pitying and sad glances she drew her way were starting to become a little much. After everyone was eating and chatting together, Linda slipped away from the crowd and left the building. She wasn’t leaving but she just needed some space of her own.

In the gloomy October weather, the moonlight was shining down on her as night time was early upon all of them. She looked up at the moon as she stepped closer and closer. Praying was not a concept she had been very familiar with but there she found herself, hoping and almost praying for a sign from her son. The moment passed and nothing happened. Woefullness settled in her heart as she wrapped her arms around herself. The feeling overwhelmed her so until she heard a voice, out of nowhere. 

A gasp escaped her lips as she lifted her hand over her heart to calm its erratic beating. “Gosh!” Was her first word. “You gave me a real fright there.” She replied as she turned around to face whoever it was. That’s when she recalled his words and responded, “Yes, yes definitely.” 

David shook his head as his mom spoke to him. Just the fact that they were sitting in the clearing drinking beer felt weird to him. This wasn’t how his night was supposed to go. He was supposed to get high and drunk by himself, listen to music, maybe scream into the forest, before stumbling back home. This wasn’t at all what he planned and, while, deep down, he did enjoy his mom’s company, he was a little pissed off that she’d interrupted his evening. 

“Really? That’s what you’re gonna ask?” He responded, sharper than was really necessary. “How was school?” David shook his head, taking another hit and shaking his head. “How do you think it was mom?” He asked, not even glancing over. In truth, school had been terrible. Between the looks of pity and the constant reminder that Brian was out there somewhere, David was about to lose it. He’d been debating just not going back, just playing hooky until the whole thing was over, not that he’d ever say that to his mom.

This wasn’t how Linda had imagined her evening to go either. In her wildest dreams and greatest hopes, she’d hoped to have found Brian. She hopes that every evening she goes out to search for him, so far without avail. It hadn’t been her intention to intrude on David’s evening. She had been trying to give her children more space and she knew that David had wanted that most of all. It now seemed to be deliberately going against that. That being said, Linda wanted to spend every waking moment with her children. So maybe this was more than just a coincidence that she ended up finding David. 

David’s response was very direct. Whatever she tried for him, Linda had the hardest time figuring out what her eldest son wanted. She spent a lot of her time with Brian and Beth was wild but it was clear she loved spending time with her mother. With David, Linda knew that he loved her deep down but every moment together she felt worried. Worried that it might not be true, worried she was upsetting him, worried that she wasn’t able to be a good mom to him. So she always just tried her very very best. “Well, yes. I care about you and how your day was.” She replied, her voice quiet as she watched her son closely. “Yeah, I have a good idea.” Linda replied as she thought about what it was like for her. As soon as she stepped out of the house, it felt like the world was watching her. Judging her. “Is....” She paused for a second as she lifted the beer, “this helping?” Then she paused again, “Anything, is anything helping?”

As soon as he heard his first name, David stood up, eyes wide as he whipped around and saw none other than his mom standing in the clearing. A myriad of emotions flashed through David’s head in the moment it took for him to register what was happening. Everything from wow, I’m glad it isn’t a murderer to oh shit i’m drinking and my mom is here. “Oh my god. Mom.” He exclaimed, throwing his hands in the air and rolling his eyes.

 He could understand, distantly, why she was mad. She was stressed, a lot had happened, and she just caught her oldest son out alone. That didn’t stop David from being angry though. He wanted his mom to go away.. He wanted to be able to sneak out of the house to drink and not get caught when his mom showed up at the place he was hiding. He wanted to be able to shut himself in his room and turn the volume up on his boom box, drowning out everything else. He just wanted to be normal again.

As suddenly as the anger appeared though, the fight went out of him. He watched as his mom deflated, seeming to shrink into herself momentarily. More than anything else, David hated seeing her like that. He’d seen her act like that around dad too many times and, after they’d left him behind, David had vowed to never let her act like that again. But here they were, in the middle of the woods and one Goode child short. 

Watching Linda closely, David followed as she sat down next to him, wondering if he was about to get some kind of lecture about underage drinking, sneaking out, or being out alone. What he wasn’t expecting though, was for her to ask to share his beer. 

Shocked that she was doing this, it took David a moment before he nodded and stuttered out “Um… yeah… Yeah sure here.” Handing the beer over and wondering if he should offer her the joint in his pocket too. God knew she probably needed it.

David’s expression when he saw her would have been hilarious to anyone else who wasn’t her. His wide eyes stared right back at her as she took huge strides towards him. His reaction to the situation was how Linda had been used to her eldest son reacting to her. Her care was something he didn’t seem too happy about most of the times. Like when she entered the school to hand him school books he’d forgotten or as she waved him goodbye whenever he left. Her children were her most treasured possessions and expecting her to just ‘let them go’ was one of the most absurd things she’d ever heard. “Yes, you’re damn right.” She replied immediately, crossing her arms in front of her chest.

Her exhale seemed to run through her entire body as she felt smaller as well. The waves of emotions that previously had been rushing through her disappeared, leaving her feeling slightly numb as she calmed down. Running her hands over her face, she let out a deep sigh. None of it was David’s fault. She could understand that he wanted his own space and time to himself. Just... she couldn’t afford to have another child of hers missing. Even so, that didn’t allow her to keep her children locked in the house to prevent that from happening. Seeing him so relaxed before she came over made her smile. She didn’t want to punish him either, seeing him drinking brought back her memories of being in high school. She occasionally sipped from beers, mainly from her best friends or if a guy offered her some. 

The surprise on his face did make her laugh this time. “No worries, David. We were all young once.” Her eyes softened as she smiled, looking at the woods. “Don’t let anyone else catch you. Then you will be in trouble, serious trouble.” She tapped her finger against the bottle, holding it’s slender neck so the beer wouldn’t get warm. Biting her bottom lip in thought, Linda debated on leaving her son to have some peace and sit in the car waiting or if she should stay. So, until she decided what she tried to ease into some conversation. “How was school today?”

David Goode - David is her eldest son. She had him when she was just twenty-one. Her days went from writing articles and spending late nights networking to breastfeeding and changing diapers. It was a substantial change of pace. That was also when she almost simultaneously became Mrs Goode. She loves all her children very very much, and David is a little bit of her crutch. He wants his own space and freedom now instead of a coddling mother, something which Linda is still getting a hold on but she’s slowly getting better at it. Besides their occasional arguments, Linda only has the best intentions towards her son and only wants to see him happy.

Abel Hawker - Ever since the disappearance of Brian Linda has had a lot of guests over or people approach her. No one surprised her mother than Mayor Hawker did. Having him turn up at her doorstep was surprisingly comforting. Linda figured that if he was interested and committed, that means that the whole town will get involved. That aside, she can’t help but feel that he also has an ulterior motive. Something she doesn’t understand or see yet. Who knows what it could be... 

@mayor-hawker

After dinner, Linda had enough chores to do. She cleanly packaged the leftovers and cleaned away all the dishes and cutlery that had been used. Setting them aside to dry, she wiped her hands clean and walked upstairs. Beth and David were around tonight, unlike most nights when they were out somewhere. Linda had no problem with her children living their lives and being out, she was having a little trouble letting them go most of the time but she knew that’s what she wanted and that’s what she kept in mind. Sitting at the top of the stairs, it warmed her to be near them even if they were their own forces. Beth had a soft side to her which she shared with her mother. It was up to others who had to deal with the hurricane that her daughter normally was. David was a lot more reserved but wanted more space for himself. Her eyes fell on his closed room door and they automatically slid over to Brian’s door. She let out a strained sigh as she wished she could find her son. 

The doorbell rang and Linda rolled her eyes. She’d had so many guests the past few days that it was starting to become a little tedious. Everyone wanted to come to wish her well or come and see what the Goode family was like. She wasn’t really feeling like company tonight. Opening the door she was about to say just that, in nicer words, as she suddenly realised who was stood before her. 

“Oh! Mayor Hawker. I didn’t expect to see you.” She replied honestly as her eyes widened. “What can I do for you?”