Cactus & a Lily

robb stark will be resurrected by melisandre/the lord of light, but he will not be the same.  he will have the head of a direwolf and the body of a decaying corpse (basically the minotaur of westeros) and he will be ruthless and set off to kill everyone except the starks.

there will be a flashback scene of rhaegar and lyanna where rhaegar will tell lyanna that he wants to name their baby “aegon” because you never know when you’ll lose your regular aegon and will need a spare.  also, he admits that he is terrible with names and having two sons with different names could be difficult for him.

it will be revealed that cersei is pregnant with zombie clegane’s baby.  she will give birth to the zombie baby and while he is being born in king’s landing, the wall will be falling in the north.  it will be revealed that the zombie baby is actually the third head of the dragon and also azor ahai and also a secret targaryen.

gendry returns.  his arms muscles are the size of a small truck from all that rowing and he can’t hold them up because his body is now very disproportionate, so now his arms just kinda drag on the ground.  it’s very disturbing.

it will be revealed that bran stark the time traveler has gone back in time and fathered every known character.  and bran is actually a secret targaryen.  therefore everyone is a secret targaryen.

hot pie will find melisandre.  melisandre will be convinced that he is the new prince that was promised.  spoiler alert: he’s not.

bran’s vision reveals that yara’s real name was actually asha this whole time.  he tells her and she spirals into a strange identity crisis.

brienne of tarth says “fuck this shit” (exact quote, s7 ep2) and joins the night king.  not even as a wight.  she just is really sick of humanity and swears an oath to the night king that she will help him destroy it.  podrick will marry the night queen to seal the alliance.

it will be revealed that there are actually four heads of the dragon.  the fourth is either lyanna mormont or little sam.  as of the last episode, we do not know which.

• euron’s gift for daenerys is a $30 chilis gift card with only $6.83 left on it

• one of the nights watch men who stabbed jon was actually the real azor ahai and jon was his nissa nissa. Jon killed azor ahai and bran will reveal this to him in episode 4

• arya tries to get vengence on everyone involved in the red wedding but then lady stoneheart shows up and is all like “really arya? this isn’t how i raised you”