Lily Staricha

I wish I could come in here and give good news for a change. Sadly I can't. I've gone quite in order to get a job, which I learned mere minutes ago I did not get. This leaves me truly broken. I have no finances to give to anyone or anything. Without this job, I don't know when I can pay for anything. My phone hasn't been on since May. I can't pay Credit Cards, or Loans. I can't say for how much longer I have my car for, I haven't been able to pay for it for three months now.

I didn't think leaving my abuser would end me in so much hot water. Everything is messed up. I'm still sleeping on my Mom's couch, living off my brother's money. No way to pay for my own responsibilities. No way to help. I feel so trapped and stuck. I just wish people would see how bad my situation is and would become my knight in shining armor.

I truly do need help. Donations and shares. Not advice to specialties, who I can't afford. I'm already posting to every single form of social media. TikTok, Facebook, WhatsApp, Reddit, Tumblr, X. Everything. So please, just help. A share, a repost. Anything.

Sorry, I'm not doing okay. I've never felt this bad before. Having to beg for the simplist thing, money. Money to survive. I'm sorry if this post is turning you off, normally I try to do good news. I can't today. I don't have any.

I'm so stressed today. Before we get started on the stress, I would like to share the good news first! Yesterday, I got surprised by two packages from Amazon. I couldn't believe it! Someone had sent the guinea pigs and myself supplies. The guinea pigs now have two months supplies of timonthy hay, which is very huge for us. The guinea pigs love and live off this hay. As for me, they sent me deodorant. I know it may not seem like much, but that is money I don't have to take from my brother.

Now before you all start wondering, I'm actively looking for jobs. Though I must be honest, a lot of people get scared off by the courts. Thanks to my abuser, I'm facing charges that are just ridiculous. Okay, I'm derailing myself there. Anyway, between my own court date and my abusers court dates, it seems like everyone is just getting scared off. I've already interviewed for three jobs, all denied me. I've entered 25 applications, and got denied by several before interviews were even set up. So, yeah this isn't looking well.

To make it worse the one source of income I was supposed to have, unemployment, is now begin fought for. Thanks to my former employee, they don't believe I deserve unemployment. So now, I have to write a hand written letter to get that back. And even then I might not be able to get my unemployment. I'm really stressed about all of this.

Not just because my pets rely on my income, but because I can't pay any of my bills. NOT A SINGLE BILL. My phone is due tomorrow, and I can't do anything about but ask my brother for help. I hate relying on him for everything. I wish some income would just start coming in. Someone please hire me. Someone please just help me.

I did the most stupid thing I could today and opened my bank account. With all of the bills trying to come out, from my car payment to my phone payment, it is now sitting at -640 plus dollars. I'm so angry, because I'm doing everything in my power to get back on track.

I'm applying to jobs. I'm going to interviews. I even reached out to two influencers. Yes, only two? Figured I would start with the two best influencers that are known for their kindness. Honestly it hurts a little when people are just leaving me on read. On one hand I understand where they are coming from. They are probably worried I'm a scammer. Though I'm not. They might not want their channels involved in this.

Yet at the same time, I feel even more stuck. It's like everywhere I turn, some help does come but not enough. I'm extremely thankful for those who have helped. I can not thank these people enough. I've been thanking them non-stop. And honestly I can't keep expecting the same people to keep donating over and over again.

I have taken the advice to reach out to campaign managers, though that itself is a problem. I have NO MONEY. Managers want money, even if it is a mere 10 or 15 dollars. I honestly wish I could just pay someone to run this fundraiser for me, but honestly I can't. I don't have the money. Plus the moment I get money, it has to go into the most important things. My bills, my pets. So managers are the bottom of that list.

If you haven't figured it out, I'm here to basically rant. I'm stressed, and freaking out. Anyway, if you want to enjoy the happiness I got to experience yesterday, I posted a video to TikTok under https://www.tiktok.com/@lillian.ann.white?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc

I hope that this little rant didn't scare anyone off, I'm just trying to process another stressful day in another stressful time. Anyway, thank you everyone for just begin here and helping in the best ways you are able to! Goodbye for now my social bees and butterflies!

And just be keep things going, I've also linked my Amazon and GoFundMe below!

Amazon: https://www.amazon.com/hz/wishlist/ls/3DUZZKNKUVN4B?ref_=wl_share

Well, life is getting interesting once again. Not all bad news this time around. I've had several more donations, once again Erin has donated, along with Jimmie. I also give thanks to all of the people who have been sending me ideas and links to people and platforms that would help gain further attention in this fundraiser. Since my situation has left me completely tapped of finances, I am not able to follow up on the campaign project managers, but will look further into them once money begins to reappear.

I've also been going out into the job market again. Though sadly, I'm not having much luck with it. Which is a bit odd considering that a lot of places say they are looking actively for employees. Yet somehow I do not fit their requirements. Anyway, I'm off to do another round of applications, this time focusing on night shift, since the day shifts seems to be failing.

Though I did not come here with all bad news. I have reached out to two of my favorite influencers that I follow due to how kind of a person they are. I left them messages, and I honestly hope they will consider offering... well, anything. I'm taking chances by doing so, but as many have suggested, it is necessary and risk that should be taken.

I'm also happy to include the process of cleaning out my guinea pig's new cages. I've also opened up an Amazon Wishlist filled with things that myself and my pets need. We're asking for any and all help! Even you sharing the GoFundMe or Amazon Wishlist will help! Now enjoy the new round of guinea pig cleaning, and some adorable random photos of my two kitty cats, Hathor and Khonsu.

CLEANING OF THE NEW GUINEA PIG CAGE:

These are the photos after I changed the bedding, cleaned out the bottom, wiped down the dishes, and refilled everything. Thanks to the cages before the boys were able to enjoy their grey hideouts this time around. Though we didn't have enough hay bags to switch them around, and I wish I had gotten more when I had the chance. I always make sure that the treat foraging bowls, feeding foraging bowls, and hay bags are filled before putting them back in. Though I took the treat bowls back out because I wanted to fill them with treats for the guinea pigs.

THE PREP OF THE TREAT BOWLS:

I enjoy giving all of my rodents fresh fruits and veggies. Guinea pigs and hamsters can have some of the same fruits and veggies, but the boys get a majority of the mix. The mix includes broccoli, strawberries, carrots, grapes, and cucumbers.

CUTE PHOTOS!!!

Here are a collection of cute photos, including Hathor asleep on the couch with her toe beans exposed. There is also photos of the cats exploring the guinea pigs while they are running around in their play pen. I put up the pen to keep them safe while I clean their cage. I really love the photo of Khonsu sniffing the guinea pigs, he usually a big scaredy cat.

Amazon Wishlist: https://www.amazon.com/hz/wishlist/ls/3DUZZKNKUVN4B?ref_=wl_share

GoFundMe:

well, life just got worse. So much worse. The one income I thought I would have was just cut off. How is everything in my life right now a fight? I don't want to fight anymore. I'm tired. I want to be happy again. I want to be stable and comfortable. When I need the income the most, it just disappears. I'm honestly crying right now. I have never been so desperate before. I'm going to sound like a beggar, but I can't anything else, because I truly need help. How will it be before my car gets taken away or when will my phone get cut off? I truly hate my life right now. I truly do. How is there such little support when I need it the most?

Hello, Social Butterflies and Bees! Today's update isn't much, I just realized that I didn't post the photos from Dexter's and Jackie's cage upgrade. So I'm going to post them with some additional photos of Khonsu and Hathor begin awfully cute. So please enjoy the story of upgrading the guinea pig and hamster cages!

HOW TO UPDATE A GUINEA PIG CAGE

Step 1: Setup New Cage with Flooring and Pad

Step #2 - Add Bedding

Step #3 - Add Hanging Corner Hideouts\

Step #4 - Add Foraging and Chew Toys, and Hay Bags

Step #5 - Fill Hay Bags

Step #6 - Add Water Bottles

Step #7 - Add Food Dishes filled with Food

FINAL STEP: ADD PIGGIES!!

ENJOY!!!!

The piggies sure did enjoy their new home. They have a lot of space to enjoy, and run around in. They are also sharing toys and treats. It's interesting to hear them at night once they have shaken off the day's sleep. Now cuddling them is just as fun for I take turns, and it's always whoever I catch first. Last time it was big old boy Dexter.

Now enjoy the pictures of Hathor and Khonsu relaxing on top of my mom's fridge. They have come to expect treats every time a human wonders into the kitchen. Though 9/10 they are disappointed by their sudden trip and lack of treats. On the 10th one, we turn them into two spoiled little logs of fur. Enjoy the cuteness!

Not all bad news my friends! Thanks to the efforts of Erin, Noreen, Jay, Jimmie, and Erin once again we finally managed to do one of the upgrades! I'm not really sure what to call it, so bare with me. While trying to get myself back on my feet, I'm doing certain things. One of the things is caring for my fur babies. Like the cats getting new collars (no we haven't found any news ones yet), the guinea pigs and hamster also have achievements to reach.

Before I separated from him, the guinea pigs were living in their own cages meant for a single guinea pig. Which doesn't really work, since we got Jackie for Dexter as friend. So for the last month+, Dexter and Jackie have been communicating through bares of their cages. Until Saturday, that was. Thanks to the campgain and my tax refund, I was able to find all required items for upgrades.

It was a mix of a trip to the local stores for bedding, food, and some locally sourced toys. The rest came from Amazon. And boy was I eager for that delivery. That day alone my brother and I checked the mail and door one to many times. Once the supplies did arrive, a four hour project began. One I'm glad I did.

Out with the small cages, into the big cage for the guinea pigs. Poppyseed, also got into a bigger cage. She took over one of the old guinea pig cages. The work was intense but I love the results to this day. Both Samurai Jack and Dexter now share a cage. They are friendly with each other, as expected and planned, and loving their new cage. Jackie still sure about their new water bottles, it's a different style, and both boys are still getting use to their new hay bags. Otherwise they have turned the cage into their own little place.

I've attached the pictures of the progress. I hope to get more photos when I do the next cage cleaning, because the hanging cloths and hay bags get to be changed around. Yes, I made sure that they had multiply changes for their cage. Including bedding. As for Poppyseed, I didn't get any of her pictures, since this cage setup was identical to her former cage before the domestic breakup. I'll grab her pictures when I do her cage change, because that will show everyone the same set up she's been getting.

Sometimes I wish hamsters had the same requirements as guinea pigs, but yet at the same time I'm glad for Poppy's simplicity. She is the easiest fur baby to care for right now.

As for the rest of the updates, not much there. Still working on my court statement. It's hard to write at times. I've sent out applications for reemployment. I got some new PJs and undergarments. So my clothes has doubled. Otherwise, that's where we are so far. Wish me luck, social butterflies and bees. Remember to share, donate, and spread the news!

There wasn't much to report on until yesterday. I hate yesterday. I lost my home, my bed, 99% of my property. Now I lost my job. After 4.5 years of loyal and hardwork, I was tossed aside. They stated my attendance, but I don't believe it. I made improvements with my attendance, they even celebrated a mile marker and even told me I was safe from begin fired. Yet after making a real human mistake, I got fired. They lied to me. This job was my one piece of stability in my life, now it's gone. I have no routine, no job, no social circle. Thank you so much for hurting me further. Thank you so much for making me have further trust issues. Thank you so much for lying to my face. Thank you so much for choosing the drama queens and yes men over a real worker. Thank you so much for another issue for my mental health and finances. Thank you so much, Daktronics.

I don't believe I was fired for attendance, because I wasn't the worst attendance record in the building. Just last week a girl missed four out of five days, and then missed another day following week. She was late to work several times, worse then mine, as well. Yet not once did I see her get written up, or talked to. Sadly, she isn't the first one I watched this with. It took them two years to get rid of the other person who was exactly like this. TWO YEARS!

I only had a bad record for five months, and they had enough. Where were my two years? Where was the infinite patience? Oh right, it's only given to those who they enjoy. Otherwise why would they get rid of the person who helped developed many processes, trained 90% of the current work force, and who helped manage schedules. Yes, I did work schedules. All of this is why I believe that the manager choose his favorites, a drama queen and the girl I already mentioned, over me. I called him out for favoring others, and treating people unevenly. I even went to HR for this. Yet, it was HR who turned on me. I got punishments, little bit of aid, and then eventually fired.

I wanted to grow in that company. I wanted to became a manager. This was the first company I felt this way with. Now... I don't even want to get out of bed. I'm so tired. Tired of having my trust betrayed. So tried of having to fight. So tired. I don't want to be human anymore. I'm tired of it. So tired of it.

For all of those thinking I'm just pointing and blaming. No, I'm hurting. A part of me is curious to how the work is going. Since I literally didn't get to goodbye to anything or anyone, I feel incomplete. How is C? Is H and E bragging about how they are better? Am I even missed? About L, he will never get to see my smile again? How about D, did he enjoy having me around? Will his and CL's birthday be celebrated?

I know I should be moving on. Looking for a new job. Yet, here I am, still processing. How do they expect someone who was fired over the phone to act? To make it even worse, they didn't bother doing any of this in person with me. No, the day I did the most human mistake, at the end of the day I got a call. Telling me not to come in the next day while they figured out what to do with me. Didn't get this news until 8 minutes before the end of work. Then yesterday I didn't get the final call until AFTER the work day was complete. What happened to walking people out? Doing it to their face? Doing it in person? Why over the phone? If they wanted it to hurt, and make me feel like a useless human... well it worked.

So yeah, this is my life now. Rock bottom, or nearly there. Do I even want to go back to work? I'm over the human dream team. "Teamwork makes the dream work." Bulls**t. My experience says otherwise. I'm not sure if I want to work with others anymore. Yet, that is what 99% of work is. I don't even know if I want to leave home. Even though it's not much of home. Don't get me wrong, I'm glad I have somewhere to sleep and feel safe. It's just not my home.

OKAY, enough of the bad news. What makes me so... broken. Let's focus on some good. We had another donation from Jay. I know several Jay's, so I can't pinpoint this one. That's okay though, because I'm thankful anyways. Thank you, Jay, for the donation.

With the current donations, I managed to buy new much needed jeans. They were for work, but now I guess they are just jeans. For walking perhaps. I did enjoy a rather tearful long walk in them yesterday. I needed some space to process my new loss.

I also got guinea pig supplies. Dexter and Jackie were both needing of some serious enrichment. The poor boys literally had the bare minimum. Bedding, food, water. So I know they were dying for toys. That's exactly what I got them. They both have their own little box filled with natural toy chew toys. And no, I didn't make this box. It comes made together, filled with these little chew toys. They love it, so I got them. I also got some solid toys. Ones like the seed and fruit logs that they can break down with their teeth. And herbal ones for them as well.

I also got them plenty of veggies and fruits. I enjoy making Dexter and Jackie little salads. I recently gave one on Monday. After having held Dexter, and enjoying him 'pancake' while with me. Though him pancaking comes with him attempting to nibble mommy. Don't worry though, I find it rather amusing. He always makes me laugh. I think I'm going to do another salad for them today. They are always so talkative afterwards. And it's been rather quite since yesterday. Though I suppose that is due to me begin under my dark dark clouds. Thank you, depression.

Anyway, we also got a good portion of groceries and household items. Mainly for the fur babies. Speaking of them fur babies, I'm looking for new collars for Hathor and Khonsu. I believe for a new start there, new collars are needed. It would be nice to find ones that match they're little bells and charms. I also look forward to getting them new ID tags. I plan on making them rather fun. Something like... "I'm lost, and my mommy misses me, call her at...". I honestly hope to come up with something a little more funny. Any ideas?

I guess this is where my life is at now. Jobless on top of everything else. When I survive this, and I know I will, I'm going to scream it to the world. I SURVIVED! As for now, I need to start climbing towards... anything.

Please, social bees and butterflies, share and donate! I know this is not an easy but we can do this.

It's been about a week since I started my GoFundMe campaign, and plenty has happened. I have been blessed but there aren't many miracles. I was blessed to have two high school friends donate to the campaign. In total, the campaign has raised 350$, reached 13 shares, and 260 views. I know this is only the beginning, but I wish I could be one of those people that wakes up the next day and see the entire campaign completed. I would love nothing more, but patience is a virtue and that is key right now.

where there is good, there is just a equal bad. For instance, I believed that I was able to find a campaign manager through Tumblr. Turns out they were a scam. So anyone who is reading beware of Expert101. They claim to be a campaign manager, though their services cost 40$. This isn't what made me wonder if they were a scammer or not. Now, it was their absolute desperation for the fee. Then it got worse when PayPal denied the transfers of fund because PayPal flagged them as a potential scam.

That made me wonder. Then when they sent a further THREE accounts threw CashApp for the funds, all of my flags were going up. In the meantime I was also trying to actively work on my day to day job. Though their messages kept popping up, annoying me. I told them repeatedly I was at work, on the floor, and couldn't message them until break. Did they wait for break? No. They kept messaging me as if I had just uped and disappeared. Well I didn't. I was there the entire time.

Once they had more then one red flag up, I began to track down their information. First by plugging in all of their account names into google. Not once did I find them. And in this day of age, only those who aren't online don't have a online trail. For instance if you look up me, I will show up in many different areas. From my published books to this very campaign trail. The first identity brought up people of all types on LinkedIn, none of them the same pesron twice. The other three? Nothing.

I messaged them for the last time and straight up said, they were monsters for praying on a victim of financial and domestic abuse. It absolutely breaks my heart that someone would do this. We have enough monsters in the world and not enough good. I truly hate them for doing this to me. So please, everyone out there be alert and aware of Expert101. They also go underneath the social titles of [email protected], Anne Mathis, Keira Trujillo, Julius Williams, and Talayiah Wiser . DO NOT SEND ANY OF THESE PEOPLE ANYTHING! THE TUMBLR ACCOUNT EXPERT101 IS A SCAMMER! I repeat TUMBLR ACCOUNT EXPERT101 IS A SCAMMER!

Now Expert101 was indeed the biggest scammer, though not the only one. I had a stranger under the social handle, jomana-30, 'ask' for aid in their campaign. What turned me off of them was the horrible language and sentence structure. Also when do people go out of their way to type right to left when Tumblr itself goes left to right? They dropped a question on my original post, but if wasn't even a question. It was them asking for help with their campaign. If they are a real person, I'm sorry, but I don't believe they are real. I believe they are also a scammer, just not as eager or desperate as Expert101. So beware social butterflies and bees, Expert101 and Jomana-30 are scammers.

Though I must irritate I'm extremely thankful to Erin and Noreen for donating to my campaign. I'm also extremely thankful to amie-21 for their advice is where to continue to reach out and advice in pushing this campaign further. Thank you, thank you, thank you to those who are truly helped! Now, let's keep this campaign going. If you can't donate, please share the campaign to all of your social circles. The more eyes, the people, the better success. So i ask you social butterflies and bees to donate, share, and follow this campaign as it continues on!

https://gofund.me/f213adab4

I work hard to raise funds for my family that touch souls that need us, but unfortunately... I feel like I'm struggling alone.

‏I didn't ask for money, just a share, a word, a simple support, a sense of responsibility.

‏But I don't see a response, as if what I'm doing doesn't matter to anyone, as if the pain of others doesn't reach.

‏Goodness is still in us, and I am sure that those who read now can make a difference, even with a small step.

‏Please don't leave me alone... Help me to help them

tinyurl.com/29kc6b2k