california dreamin'

EMILIE LAURENT

if anyone needs me please send me letters via carrier pigeon.

i’m only eating raspberries from now on .

bob dylan is my boyfriend and nobody loves him the way i do.

can i be in love, please.

i am drunk in the lobby of the waldorf astoria, and i dont know where my party went i think im going to cry.

all of my mourning clothes are in france so you can’t die.

no more baseball players, i like skater boys now.

would love to be known in history as an iconic groupie when i die.

everyone hates me for being blonde and french.

none of you give jimi hendrix the respect he deserves.

LIV MONTAGUE

i love being beautiful and interesting.

vodka in a water gun!

i’m french, i love snails.

my mom knows cher.  

hi, today I feel absolutely nothing. i’m a numb bitch.

i’m fist fighting every last boy that’s prettier than i am, fuck y’all.

a stabbing today.

my brother held me at gunpoint this morning for not passing the milk jug.

HUNTER O’NEAL

but what about the human being behind the eyelashes?

keap jean-michel basquiat’s name out of your motherfuckin’ mouth.

hell no, i don’t want those spoiled goods.

i hope freud is having a bomb time in hell.

fuck lactaid.

you people and your relationships.

i would be so good to you?

just throwing my whole government name out there.

la croix gang or die.

that would be a violation of her first amendment right, officer.

ew, don't ever compare me to banksy ever again in your life.  

SUNNY PARK

he is not allowed to bring the condom here.

say I love you back.

why do you look like a 70s horror film lead pre-possession?

if you don’t like being wrong, don’t run your mouth.

are you saying Ganondorf is a top.

i can delete your number but I can’t delete my heart.

let 2019 be the year some of you tone it down.

family drama gives me a vitamin deficiency.

JONAH PEREZ

I’m ________    ! I’m fifteen! GOODNIGHT!

it would’ve been less gross if you actually ate ass.

get friends that will pick your nose for you.

heterophobes don’t interact.

i’m 200 pounds of pure bone!

I take clout vitamins every morning.

get your fresh clouts here.

lil yeeyee wouldn’t treat me like this.

can i cry - type now?

i’m babe ruth.

WILLOW ROME

i broke my ouija board, so what does this mean for me?

for someone who acts like he can’t stand me, you’re only ever on when i am.

it’s okay to admit you’re in love with me.

posting screencaps is a pussy move.

REMY TOPOLSKY

some people are just so touchy.

imagine needing to be a raging bitch because you have nothing else to bank on.

well, the camera’s not very picky.

DYLAN QUINN

liam gallagher is taking the piss and being a right cunt, as usual.

sid vicious didn’t stab nancy in the hotel chelsea for the world to woobify being punk.

_____ looks thin but they weigh a ton because their bones  are fucking dense.

it’s not my fault you hate lesbians.

we’re a gang now.

gatekeeping classic rock since birth because lesbians own the rights to the 60s-90s musically .

i think we ALL get depressed.

maybe you should upgrade to being a soundcloud rapper.

maybe you’re not the skinny queen i believed you to be.

cat jumped off my chest and scratched my tit brb while I die.

choke on your milk, slag.

LENNON DAVIES

your significant bother.

long time no tease.

what the fuck is bubblegum?

you should be grateful, I’ve given you an edge.

public indecency isn’t a charge I want.

ELI ELI

so i’m dead now.

that’s illegal and morally reprehensible .

i cannot afford crack.

i’m like a ghost, i’ll just vapor away into the mist when you swing. 

i’m under no legal obligations.

i listened to marilyn manson once.

i’m nobody’s goth boyfriend.

men deserve rights, too!

what the fuck is lil yeeyee?

RANDY EPHRON

y’all like the white stripes? 

one hundred percent convinced dunkin’ donuts puts crack in their coffee.

go do a jazz square somewhere or something.

if you drink milk with coke I can tell you right now that you’re going to hell.

this is why we will never have six. 

as a certified bully, it doesn’t hurt to crush people’s hopes and dreams every once in a while. 

people that make bowls out of apples are not to be trusted.  

you gonna put me out with your tears, madame fire department?

you leave ___  alone, you big bitch.

ASA JONES

you’re acting like a thirst bucket.

not my fault you choked on a tic tac.

if i had to look at it so do the rest of y’all.  

do artists fuck demons?

wait, why am i the wife?

where’s those clout vitamins now?

i see you paying bills!

put that side boob away. 

delete my number. 

CARI JONES

kinda feel like going into a coma and never being spoken about or mentioned again by everyone i know, and fading into oblivion like the plot device i am.

guess it’s time to sell feet pics.

if it doesn’t come with candy hearts i don’t want it.

not that i would know anything about science.

you can't talk to me this way, i'm dying.

me, minding my sagittarius business. 

i'm sexually liberated in my imagination.

i’m a ring pop kinda gal, myself.

LARA KIMBERLY

she’s a latin king.

i pride myself in being season 3 manny thirsty at all times.

it’s not my fault i’m pretty.

i’m really, like, scared of jeffree star.

straight boys date a model and start acting brand new.

but you get the thrill of killing hamsters huh.

i’m saving MY tragic backstory for marriage, which is the way God intended.

you good sis? like, are you good, though? sis, are you good, sis, though? are you good? 

that’s not a passing comment that’s a felony, dude.

why let boys stress you out when you can stress them out?