The Bloggity

What's this??...Lamar writing a dream blog??...That hasn't happened since November 12th,what gives??...I had dreams between now and then,but I couldn't remember alot to write it down..difference is,I remembered enough this time,so,I'm writing it down..

Dream starts with me laying in a bed on the phone talking to a friend my age that's getting married..*Completely irrelevant to the dream,but it happened so*...I'm in some sort of shack-looking place...Looks like an attic or something for theater(performance theater,not movie)...As we were talking,I heard a loud popping noise and soon after,the sound of a huge crowd comes out of no where..then I look up and see a baseball coming for my head..

When its about 10 feet in front of me I see a baseball glove swoop it out of the way as a crowd cheered...A guy came in talking to me about why I'm on the phone when there's a perfectly good baseball game happening...So I got up to see...As I looked over a balcony,a whole baseball field opened up in front on me..

Then something weird happened where in the dream,everything zoomed out to where I could see the entire east coast coastline and my view was following a single road that trailed up to the north...Has nothing to do with the dream,but it happened continuously throughout the dream...Weird shit,yo..

Anywayzles,so the next part of the dream,I was back in that bed talking to that same friend and I heard people talking...So I got up and look out over the balcony,and there were actors practicing lines...As I was turning around to go back to the bed,a lady with,huge fuckin' tits(to say the least)she,in a flirty way,said something also the lines of,"Are you not entertained??"..*I guess that part of the dream was just trolling me because in real life last night when I was watching The Dark Knight Rises(SPOILER: IT'S FUCKING AWESOME),I said that a couple times..lol...It was random..doesn't pertain to the dream*...Anyway,after she said that,I gave a simple,"Its just not my cup of tea response"...She then asked me why I was there and I said I didn't know...She went on to say something like,well,when a young baseball player like yourself blows out his knee and can't play,he's got to something with his time other than sitting in a shack..which is why you're at acting school..*Side note,I don't even see a connection there..a baseball player gets hurt,so he has to go to acting school??..lol...And maybe I don't know too much about baseball injuries,but how does one blow out his knee??..haha...Maybe I was hit by a pitch or something*...I checked my knee,it looked okay...After I looked a it,that weird thing where everything zoomed out happened..

Next part of the dream starts with me laying down in bed surfing the interwebz on my phone,when a bunch of people walk in mid conversation...That girl from earlier than asked me to come out to lunch with them because I hadn't been outside in weeks...I told them no,and they left...Shortly after they were gone,I changed my mind and tried to catch up,but when I left the house,shit was fucked...The buildings were all crappy looking and the roads had potholes and puddles...Looked like ass...I turned around,and the house was gone..so that happened..haha...I turned around a corner,and I could see them walking towards me...The girl from earlier sees me and pulls me to the side...She started talking to me in whispers about how she knows who I really was...She said she knew I was the son of a famous actor,sent to spy on them for whatever reason...With no transition,she calls over two guys and told me she sees how I look a her,and if I wanted to ask her out for lunch,I'd have to do her a favor right now...Obviously,I agreed,right??..right...So we walk around the corner to a fenced in,beat down house...She goes to the door and signals for me and those 2 guys to duck behind a car...Then that stupid zoom out thing happened..

Same place,same situation,only its night time..she turns back to the door and knocks...I looked down for a second,but when I looked up,shit got REALLY,REALLY,REAL!!...

Some short,black,Hulk-sized guy,clearly raging on the 'roids,kicked down the door and had a Gatling gun stationed there...He yelled,"Run bitches!!",and immediately started shooting at everything...Then Chesticles McGee and her 2 goons magically disappear and then I some how developed Jet Li-like agility techniques because I then double tapped my way jumping one fence to another..haha...I ended up in a yard with a police dog and somehow dipsy-doed my way around it,and triple-tapped my way over two more wooden fences...I did a quick check for injuries,no blood..good shit...Insert stupid zoom out clip here..

Next day,I'm back at the attic place and as everyone comes in talking again,I see Chesty McBigTits and her 2 dwarfs and I just start losing my shit...They sat there at first,but after a minute or so,they burst out laughing...I had total WTF face going on,and she says that the whole thing was staged..it wasn't real..the gun was shooting blanks..it was all fake...There was a nice chuckle..aaaaand that zoom out thing happened.

This part of the dream starts with me and Mega Mammory's 2 fucksticks in some sketchy alley...We met up with that Hulk-looking guy...He was currently with a customer..*Yes,the old alley way drug deal that happens in EVERY crime movie...I apologize,this wasn't a lucid dream,I wasn't calling the shots*...Back to the dream...He talked to me about my situation(baseball player with a bum knee)..but at the same time,he had this huge ass needle that he was putting in his arm,and he asked me if I would like some...Like its a slice of pizza or some shit...So at this point,we know Black Hulk is juicing...He talked to me about how he's revived the career of so many great players with his 'roids,and went on to pretty much name every player ever in baseball that was involved in a steroid scandal...Not the best marketing tool,by the way..

This next part is gonna happen quickly,so try to keep up..

He asked me again if I wanted the steroids,I said no,he said okay,ZOOM THE FUCK OUT TO EAST COAST AGAIN...But this time it was from the view of the water..and then I fucking woke up..lol..

See,that's what I hate about my dreams...They're usually cliffhangers,which is complete horseshit...That said,for the last 13 days,I've been sleeping on the opposite end of my bed,and I've had a cool dream every single night,but I only remember small bits and pieces..not nearly enough to write down...So it was good to finally have one I could write down...Who knows when that'll happen again...Hope you liked it..

Okay..its one of those dream blogs again..lol..

So I was taking a nap..and my mom woke me up to go play basketball(haha..very funny..they're black and playing basketball...Grow up!!..haha)..it was night time..but I reluctantly went anyway..

On our way to play,my mom got a call from my sister that our grandma was admitted to the hospital..so we headed there instead...But when we got there,we didn't know which room she was in...Now this hospital,for some reason,doesn't have the room numbers on the door,so even if we called her and asked,SHE wouldn't even know..

So we went to the counter and asked the secretary what room my grandma was in..she said they didn't know..so we spelled out the name,and she still couldn't find her...We called my grandma to make sure we were at the right hospital...We were in the right place...At some point the doctors got annoyed with us and told me and my mom to leave..we quietly refused...When security walked us back to the lobby..at the same time,me and my mom spinned around the security guard and sprinted in separate directions..

After awhile of searching with no map,the security guard caught up to us and told us to leave...We said no..he asked why,and we told him that my grandma was there,and we came to see her,but the doctors that admitted her spelled her name wrong so we don't know what room she was in...The guard understood our reasoning and allowed us to keep looking as long as we stopped bothering the doctors..

As I was looking around,I heard my older sister yell my name...I wasn't sure if it was her or not,so I continued what I was doing...But after the 5th and 6th time..I knew it was her..but she moving,so I told her to stop so I could follow her voice..she said no,she can't..

When I finally found her,she was walking towards me surrounded by 4 or 5 women that were pushing,punching,and kicking her...I ran over,pushed the first one to the ground,grabbed another by the hair and threw her away,and the rest backed off..but one had a pocket knife in her hand..so I smacked it out of her hand, grabbed her hair, and smashed it on wall...I don't know what happened to my sister,but they were the cause of it..she was crying hysterically...The whole time I was doing this I was thinking,"Dude,I'm 18 now..I could go to jail for this...I'll try to minimize the damage"...After getting rid of those girls,I pointed to my sister(you know..how your parents do when you do something bad..lol) and told her to follow me...Then I grabbed her arm and started walking...But as we were walking away, another girl ran up to me and swung her fist...I ducked and tripped her and she hit a side table..then people started clapping and a guy congratulated me..lol..

Once we got to the lobby, my sister started walking slower..and when I asked her why, she told me she had been stabbed...I looked at her ribs and I saw spots of blood...Clearly,the girl with the pocket knife stabbed her..so I screamed out,"Help!!..she's been slabbed!!"..but no one moved..I yelled,"Hey!!..my sister was stabbed!!..she needs help!!"..but nobody moved...I walked over to a doctor and yelled,"Helloooo!!..my sister has been stabbed and she needs help!!"...He totally ignored me..

That totally pissed me off..so I walked to the middle of the lobby and started yelling shit...I can't remember everything I said,but at some point a singled out 2 people...One was a patient..and the other was a doctor...I walked up to a lady that was sitting down and I said,"If I punched you in the nose,and broke it,do you think you would get some medical attention!?!..FUCK NO!!"...At this point other different security guard starts walking over...I then say to the doctor,"If I disemboweled you with a pocket knife,do you think these fucks would help you out,NO!!..and if they did,they'd sign you in under the wrong name and your family would never see you!!"..

At that point,I slowly started waking up...Nothing else happened...Now I'll never know if I got to see my grandma..or if my sister ever got medial attention..or why she was even there..lol...Or where the hell my mom went..hahaha..

This dream started off Inception-like..because it starts off with me in a dream..lol...I had dreamt this guy went around with a shotgun blowing people's heads off...So already this dream-in-a-dream is starting off nicely..lol...But..I quickly woke up from that dream...Then the REAL real dream starts..and wow..lol.. So..after waking up that MORNING(yes,morning..its a dream..lol) I get a text from a girl telling me she's pregnant...But here's the kicker..we weren't even dating..we had a couple classes together the year before..and I hardly knew her.. Anywhoples,I continued my day as normal...So for a few hours I laid shirtless in a pool floater-looking hovercraft with a motor on the back and slid around the streets of my neighborhood..lol...At some point,I started seeing school buses,so I put my plan into action.. The plan was,to drink until the pains over..but what's worse?..the pain,or the hangover??(hahaha...Okay,that was a lyric from a Kanye West song..lol..back to the dream)...As the buses started to arrive,I waited for the girl whom I got pregnant..but I didn't know exactly where she lived or what bus she was on..so I did the only rational thing I could...I jumped through a random bedroom window,shirtless,might I add,and I waited for her to come home..haha.. After a couple minutes..the door opens..its not her..BUT..its her friend,and she was right behind her...As her friend walk in,she immediately stopped and had a happily shocked look on her face..then as she opened the door more,the scene she saw was me..shirtless..and sweating..on one knee..PROPOSING..with no ring..lol...She said yes,and her friend left moments later.. Afterward,I stayed for a few hours..we just laid in bed and watched TV, and talked..(I'm still shirtless,by the way..lol)...Then, as it got dark, a bunch of MY friends and family came over..lol..it was weird stuff..but they just stayed in the living room and played video games...Once,it got really dark, I decided to leave...As I was leaving,her dad said something to me but I honestly can't remember what it was...I tell my little brother we're leaving..but he was taking his time,so I left without him...As I'm walking out the front door..out of nowhere,I realize..me and her NEVER had sex..or dated..hahaha.. So I'm walking home and I see 2 people fighting..and one guy has blood all over his shirt..also there was some kind of colorful parachute-looking thing hovering over the fight(its not important,just decided to mention it)...As I wait for my brother,one of the guys in the fight starts shooting people...He eventually slowly starts walking toward me waving the gun around..shooting other people as he got closer...So I went around a corner were I see 4 more of my friends ALL wearing red hockey jerseys(doesn't have anything to do with anything,just thought I should mention it)..the shooter follows...I yelled,"don't shoot!"..and he put the gun on my head and pulled the trigger...Then he laughed and said he's out of CO2...In a rage,I wrapped my arm around his arm that had the gun,twisted it,broke his arm..I grabbed the gun,and beat his head in as he told me,"See,its fake!"...As the gun starts to fall apart,I realize he's telling the truth..then I went to stop..but as I lifted my hand,a sharp edge of the gun cut his forehead...I felt kinda bad about that..lol.. Then I woke up..

The dream starts with everyone cleaning the house because some important Army guy was coming there...There were maids and everything...It was easy to do because we had just moved there and there wasn't much furniture...And it must have been important to my brother because even HE was out of sorts...Apparently,in order to get into some big time Army school he needed to pass an interview..but when the guy got there,he said no because the house wasn't ready or whatever..even though he was 46 minutes late..my brother was very upset..

That was pretty much it for his part of the dream..but it get interesting here..

That night,me and him go to the store...He went to McDonalds,and I went across the street to a small store...When I walked up to the building,apparently,I looked suspicious,because everyone thought I would rob it...I guess it didn't help that I did ninja-like cartwheels and slowing walked into the store with my hand in my jacket...Anywhoples,the police come..but only behind the store...They literally smashed their cars into the back of the store,took out machine guns and shotguns and started shooting at the building...I went out the front door and got away...It was weird..

The next day,Cedric The Entertainer was driving me home(but apparently,he lived there too)...He made us park up the street and walk to the house because he "ain't getting his work truck repo'd again"...As we were walking to the house,my step-dad was walking out of the back door as we were going in...Cedric then tells him he thinks I'm hiding something and said I use to be a good kid..

Alittle later that day,I come outside...There were kids walking home from school..but there was one guy walking with his head down infront of 13 people that were yelling gay slurs and throwing things at him...At this point,they're right behind my house as I'm talking off my jacket...Once they're closer,I see and hear 6 teenage astronauts and school kids bullying this guy because they thought he was gay...They all see that I see them,but eventually they all jump on that one guy and start beating him up...They were literally piled on top of each other..so I ran over and one-by-one pulled them off and punched him in the face..

One guy ran away..so I chased him in mid-stride lifted him of the ground and kept running near that store from the night before...That's when I realize that people may still be looking for me for supposedly trying to rob them..so I throw the guy to the ground and run around to the other side of the building...As I'm running around the store,I realize the swamp behind it has alligators in the water so I quick climb up this huge tree 50 foot tree...Once I'm up there,I see 3 gators swimming in a circle around the tree..1 of the gators slowly climbed up after me...And one gator got on a lily pad and said,"Oh yea,fresh meat!!"...Once the gator climbing the tree I jumped off about 30-40 feet into the water and started running to the house...Then I woke up..

As you may know..whenever I have a cool dream I like to write it down..and last night's dream was AWESOME...It had alittle bit of everything...Now usually I only write down dream I can remember most of..but I can't seem to remember all of this..but I'll give it a shot..

From what I can remember,it starts off ON Halloween night...Early in the day me and a couple friends went to this huge gym to do a cycle workout..at some point they started having a contest to see who's pus bumps could squirt the furthest when you pop them...But that's not important..

Later that night,me,my older brother and a couple other friends go trick or treating(at our CURRENT ages(which are ALL of 19 years)...Around half way through the festivities,the candy follow slows down and we are about to stop..then we hear on the radio that a stripper/prostitute in the area had been murdered...The suspects they played over the radio were me,my friend David,Matt Cooke and Mike Richards...Yes,those last to names are hockey players(Is It October Yet?)..anyway,we continued trick or treating because I figured it was a joke because I had a friend who worked at the local news radio station...But around 10pm..we're all back home for the night..

This next part of the story is foggy,but eventually around 2-3am,all 4 for us are in the police station for questioning...Everyone's trying to figure out their story and what their going to say...Right off the bat,me and David were okay because we had done a live show earlier that night(as we really did in real-life)..so the police ran a check up on our story,saw the proof,and released us..

Cooke and Richards' story went another way...Alright 8pm,Cooke(the parody account) had tweeted that he was leaving for day..so no one was aware of his whereabouts from that point on..plus,he's Matt Cooke..so he's the first to be blamed anyway(#BlameMattCooke-joke)..then we get on the Richards,the other prime suspect...His story is even worse..he has no alibi or tweets at all of the last few hours..AND they had DNA evidence of his so he becomes the top suspect...I forget the rest of that part,but the important thing is,Matt Cooke was eventually released and their top suspect is Richards..

This is were the story quickly escalates and drops...Turns out Mike Richards DID kill..but it wasn't the REAL Mike Richards,it was a disgruntled Flyers fan that was dressed AS Mike Richards and planted Richards' GAME USED jersey on the body of the prostitute..

Sadly,that's all I can remember from the dream...I know there was more..but I can't seem to remember it anymore...Sorry..lol..