Pixie of Chaos

There’s a disappointed finality in the sigh that whispers from his lips as he steps back from me and shoves his hands into his hair, giving it a frustrated tug.  “If you’re confused, you shouldn’t be here.”

He’s right.  God, he’s so right.  “I…I’m sorry Aiden.  Kaine just showed up and he wanted to have sex but I said no and…well he wouldn’t leave, and he said something about you and me and I just…”  All the pathetic coming out of my mouth is annoying me so much I can’t even imagine what it’s doing to him, but I’m not about to look at him to see.  Blurting is best sometimes, and I can blurt with the best of them.  “I couldn’t stop thinking about you after that.”

There’s more melancholia than anger in his voice when he drops his gaze to the floor and whispers, “Please don’t use me.”

“Aiden…no…”

“I know you’re used to badasses, but my heart can’t take it.”

.

But you’re kissing me now, the prickly tickle of your dark beard against my lips giving me a lingering taste of the cream from the coffee we shared an hour ago, my tongue pushing the taste of you back into your own mouth, and for a brief caramel macchiato moment I almost believe you’re like me.  We’re damaged but healing, real people with hearts capable of loving intensely despite the deep wounds shot through them by the uncaring arrows of life, and your lips are so soft and warm that I don’t care anymore about the change that’s going to happen to you the second you get out of my car.  You’ll sit there in your own as I drive away, I know, praying for forgiveness and repenting for indulging once again in your sin of choice.

And I know that sin of choice is me.

.

His hands came up to my sides and I felt him squeeze just hard enough to establish the fact that he was going to take the lead for the first paragraph of this particular tale, so I put my pencil down and let him do the telling.

It was…

Huh.

Interesting.

For the first time in pretty much ever I’m without adequate words, which is saying something.

It was ecstatic.

It was euphoric.

It was…

It was beautiful, full stop.

.

This European Eagle Owl’s tippy taps

When they said it might sing, this wasn’t exactly what I had in mind.

It was a whisper, and it was full of truth and belief.  And then he kissed me, good and proper this time, without hesitation or fear or unsurety.  He kissed me like he didn’t care that I might still be lying to him about who I was or that his value to me had been weighed in terms of alcoholic content.  He kissed me like we’d just spoken all the words that we’d typed on screens before, right there in the Admin office of the recreational building with our breath instead of the internet to carry the syllables our fingers had already delivered.  And as his undoubtedly thin but surprisingly sturdy body bumped up against me to fill the space that was still lingering between us like a safety net we no longer needed, I reached behind his back and locked the door. 

.

Chapter 12 is up!

tag list reblog

It was a whisper, and it was full of truth and belief.  And then he kissed me, good and proper this time, without hesitation or fear or unsurety.  He kissed me like he didn’t care that I might still be lying to him about who I was or that his value to me had been weighed in terms of alcoholic content.  He kissed me like we’d just spoken all the words that we’d typed on screens before, right there in the Admin office of the recreational building with our breath instead of the internet to carry the syllables our fingers had already delivered.  And as his undoubtedly thin but surprisingly sturdy body bumped up against me to fill the space that was still lingering between us like a safety net we no longer needed, I reached behind his back and locked the door. 

.

Chapter 12 is up!

tag list reblog

It was a whisper, and it was full of truth and belief.  And then he kissed me, good and proper this time, without hesitation or fear or unsurety.  He kissed me like he didn’t care that I might still be lying to him about who I was or that his value to me had been weighed in terms of alcoholic content.  He kissed me like we’d just spoken all the words that we’d typed on screens before, right there in the Admin office of the recreational building with our breath instead of the internet to carry the syllables our fingers had already delivered.  And as his undoubtedly thin but surprisingly sturdy body bumped up against me to fill the space that was still lingering between us like a safety net we no longer needed, I reached behind his back and locked the door. 

.

Chapter 12 is up!

tag list reblog

It was a whisper, and it was full of truth and belief.  And then he kissed me, good and proper this time, without hesitation or fear or unsurety.  He kissed me like he didn’t care that I might still be lying to him about who I was or that his value to me had been weighed in terms of alcoholic content.  He kissed me like we’d just spoken all the words that we’d typed on screens before, right there in the Admin office of the recreational building with our breath instead of the internet to carry the syllables our fingers had already delivered.  And as his undoubtedly thin but surprisingly sturdy body bumped up against me to fill the space that was still lingering between us like a safety net we no longer needed, I reached behind his back and locked the door. 

.

Chapter 12 is up!

tag list reblog