Writing request game (*^▽^)/★*☆♪
WINTER!!!!!!!!!
I genuinely can not express how excited I was to write this one for you!!!!
I ADORE our rarepairs, and this one was so fun to write!!!!
I may have taken a break from our regularly scheduled fluff for this one, but I hope you still like it nonetheless!!
I ended up cooking some pre-gommage//canon universe Alan/Emma for you on this one!! Enjoy!! 💖💖💖
Also, as always, i put it on AO3 over here for you, just in case you prefer it there as well! 🥰
A Love Worth Fighting For
He knew this was a mistake.
She was the head of the Council, the one everyone in Lumière looked to for guidance, the inspiring mentor that kept them going, the brilliant mind that made sure the city stayed afloat despite it being determined to sink out from under them.
She was the one who would be staying behind in just over a year when Expedition 33 left on what would likely be another failed attempt at stopping the Paintress once and for all.
He wasn't officially the Commander, not yet at least, but everyone knew it would be him. He was the heart of the expedition, the one who kept everyone going even when morale was low. He was the natural born leader everyone looked to, the one who inspired those who'd given up to pick up a sword and fight, the one who never gave up—even when the Gommage took the very spark that kept his world alive two years ago.
He was the one who would be leaving in three hundred days and sixty seven days, ten hours, and fifteen minutes—the very night another number would curse their Monolith and the Gommage would soon rip away another generation of their friends.
And yet, he still couldn't help but fall in love with her a little more every time they spoke.
Alan knew it would only end in tragedy. But his heart was a cruel, twisted machine, and he was merely at its whims. His heart belonged to Emma, and he didn't doubt that she felt the same—even if they both tried with every fiber of their essences to hide it. He never missed how her gaze would linger just a few seconds too long when he'd cross her path, how her words carried an air of sweetness that was reserved only for him, even how her brother always seemed to find any possible excuse to leave them alone together whenever he got the chance. She deserved to know the truth; the grip she had on his mind, the depth at which he loved her with every ounce of who he was, the way his heart belonged to her and only her—so much so that he was willing to shove it all aside and live a lie just to spare her the pain of a love cut too short.
"Lune's currently rattling off her latest findings from Expedition 52's records faster than a small, sugar ridden child that just learned Greater Rush… I take it that must mean the meeting went well?" A familiar, yet welcome voice stole every thought from his mind, yet at the same time grounded him in the reality he was nearly slipping away from. Emma always had a habit of showing up just when he needed a friendly presence, and even now she seemed to continue that trend.
"If by 'the meeting went well' you mean I didn't scare anyone away from the expedition this time, then yes, I'd say it went exceptionally well." It was probably the worst attempt at a joke he'd made in weeks, but the drawn out laughter that fell from her lips showed she appreciated it nonetheless. Alan quickly straightened his coat, attempting to at least look like he hadn't been pulling his own mind apart over a future he'll never get. "Are you looking for an official status report, or just an excuse to chat?"
"What, am I suddenly not allowed to stop by and visit a friend?" Emma teased, though her smile faltered when she noticed his gaze was locked on the boxes scattered across the floor. She lifted his chin up, forcing him to look at her as she brushed a stray lock of hair from his face, "It'll be okay, you know… You've prepared them well for what's to come, and tomorrow when Expedition 34 sets out, Corinne will lead them as far as they can go."
"And when they fall, we'll—"
"We'll continue, just as we always have."
"I know, it's just…" Alan trailed off, resting his forehead against Emma's and finally letting himself feel a fraction of what he's been withholding. "What if there was something else I needed to do before I set out with the 33s next year?"
"Then I'm sure you'll figure it out, Commander."
"You know I'm not actually the commander yet, right?" He purred, letting his hands trail over her arms as his eyes fluttered shut.
This couldn't be real this shouldn't be real. Every single one of the 33s treated him as though he was their commander, but he was torn. They needed a leader that would be free from distractions. This last year would be critical. Yes, Expedition 35 still had approximately another seventy hours or so, but their chances were slim. And there may still be hope that Expedition 34 would be successful, but everyone knew that the longer the fight went on, the lower the chance of actually defeating the Paintress would be. Alan tried to have hope, for the sake of the others and for the sake of his daughter, but even he knew their chances of success were next to none.
Scouts stopped coming back with journals, records, and anything else that could be of use after Expedition 41. Their fate was unknown and yet it was enough that numbers dwindled so low that future expeditions couldn't spare someone to send back. After Expedition 38, supplies grew limited. They've still been able to bring some small amounts of gear: ropes, grapples, a flag for each member of the team, along with whatever else they could gather. Expedition 35 had gone out with the bare minimum and one simple goal: mark the path, lay the trail, and give Corinne and the 34s the best shot possible at finishing their route. Commander Mathieu tirelessly worked with them both in every spare minute he had until his departure. He helped them memorize the maps he'd gathered from previous expeditions, ran battle drills with them until they could fight a potential nevron with their eyes closed, even had the two of them call the shots for the 35s in potential scenarios to ensure they'd be ready when he set out for the continent. Corinne followed suit, though she trained him, Gustave, and Lune, just in case Alan decided to spend his last year alive with his daughter—which is exactly why he questioned if he was truly the right choice for the role, no matter how much he wanted it.
Expedition 33 deserved a commander who wouldn't be distracted. Someone who would fight for them and the future of Lumiere without hesitation, not someone who was constantly thinking about someone back home. They deserved someone who was quick on his feet, not someone who ran a thousand scenarios through his mind before he even STARTED to move. They deserved someone level headed who could push everything aside and make the right calls as they came up, not someone who couldn't even decide whether or not to do something as simple as tell the girl who'd been on his mind for nearly two years that he's in love with her.
And yet, despite all of that, Alan forced himself to shove it away, plaster a playful smile across his face and keep his attention on Emma so that she'd never realize just how much was running through his head. He took a deep breath, letting the floral notes of rose and honey from her perfume fill his senses and shut out every damning thought in his mind. "We won't know for sure who Corinne chose until just before the gomm—"
"Actually, we do know for sure." Emma's hands met his, her eyes closing as she kept her forehead pressed against Alan and chased the contact when he tried to move away. "I may have taken a look at the commander's notes when she was writing her Letter of Exchange. Your name was all over the page more times than I could count."
"But what about the others? Gustave, Lune, hell, even Lucien?" He shook his head, melting into the touch but still refusing to believe it when unspoken words still held themselves over his head like an anvil threatening to crush him at any moment.
"They have their assignments, and I think Corinne chose well, just as you will when you lead them." She kept her voice steady, letting her thumbs trail over the back of Alan's hands until the tension melted from his shoulders. "It was always going to be you, Alan. You are the heart and soul of the 33s. When people lose hope, you are the one that always brings them back. When one falls, you are the one that pushes them to continue. When a member of your team has a problem, you solve it without hesitation. You're quick to find the answers when no one else has them. You don't hesitate when something needs to be done, you just do it, and you make the hard choices when no one else will—even if it's the choice you clearly don't like. I've seen you do it countless times at the academy, so has Corinne."
"No! I'm not even letting you get that one out. Gustave and I have BOTH seen how that road goes with you. Not a chance." Emma chirped, lifting Alan's chin so that their eyes meet. It always amazed him how she could keep such a calm demeanor about her when they were so close to losing another group of people they called family, and how she always knew exactly what tone to take to get him out of his own head when he needed it most. "Alan, you are better suited to lead Expedition 33 than any other person I have been lucky enough to know. If anyone has a shot at taking out the Paintress and giving us all a future to hope for, it's you."
"And if there's someone keeping me in Lumière? Someone that I'm not ready to leave? Then what happens?" The words slipped out before he had a chance to stop himself. He hesitated, his breath catching in his throat, threatening to suffocate him before he could continue words he knew shouldn't say, no matter how much he wanted to.
"If you need more time with Leona, no one would blame you. You deserve to watch your little girl grow up, for every last day that she has, but Alan—"
"It's not Leona…" Alan shook his head, his eyes meeting the floor as he fought himself on what to do. They had so little time. It wouldn't be fair to Emma for him to confess his feelings when they'd only have a year, but he needed to know if she felt the same way about him. Not a single soul in their little corner of the world had taken over his heart quite like this since Marinette's gommage and he desperately craved a life they could share together, but he couldn't bring himself to show her what it's like to lose the one you love when he knew that both he and her brother would likely die on his expedition and she'd be left alone all over again—and yet she still deserved to know the truth while they still had a chance to act on it. "…if anything, Leona is why I want to lead the expedition. I want to give her the best chance possible at a life outside of the shadow of the Paintress… It's just that she's not the only one I love that I'd be leaving behind."
"Well, whoever it is must be very lucky to have someone like you in their life." She whispered, almost unsure of her words for the first time in recent memory. Her hands shook, refusing to steady even when he took them in his once again. Her eyes fell to Alan's lips, as though they were circling with more questions than she'd ever dare ask him. "If you really aren't sure about this, I can talk to Corinne, but I suggest you tell this mysterious lover how you feel first. If they're anything like you, the truth will only give them a reason to fight harder." Emma leaned in close, placing one of her hands over his heart while the other gently held the side of his face. "You don't even have to use your words either. If you really can't think of how to tell them, you can show them—"
Alan didn't hesitate a second longer. He pulled Emma close, pressing their lips together and kissing her like it was the last action of a man on death's door. Her lips parted, allowing him access as she kissed him back, her hands tangling in the back of his hair. It started slow, but quickly grew heated, each of them chasing the other's lips every time they pulled away. He stepped backwards, guiding them to the wall and letting her press him against it as he pulled her in again, and again, and again. Every time he tasted her, he couldn't get enough. They'd both wanted this for so long, but neither had let themselves give in until now. It was like he'd finally found water after days without it, and he refused to let go. Her lips were soft against his, and she was just as hungry for more as he was. Emma's hands slid under his shirt, and only when he heard footsteps in the stairwell above them did he reach down to stop her before they got caught.
"Emma, I—" He breathed between kisses, one hand still tangling in the hair at the base of the neck while the other held her waist.
"—waited entirely too long to do this? Yeah, you really did." She blushed, shifting her hands to his shoulders to steady herself. She pressed a slow kiss to his neck, taking in his smell of salt and old books that radiated from his skin before looking up into the ocean blue eyes that had captured her heart. "You're not getting out of this one so easily though. We've still got a year to enjoy our time together. Then, you're going to head out for the Continent and make sure we get a whole lot more of them while I make sure Lumière is ready for your return. Does that sound like a suitable enough plan, Commander?"
"I couldn't think of a better one if I tried." It was a promise Alan intended to keep. He wanted this, more than anything in the world, and knew that when the time comes, he'll fight tooth and nail to make sure they get their future. Emma won't know the heartbreak of losing the one she loves, not if he can do anything about it.
Tomorrow will still come, and all he can do is fight for the best future for the both of them, now and forever.
