Marked

     He supposed everything had been settled then, well, aside from actually getting Rhea’s blessing that was, but that he wasn’t something he wanted Lillian or Ashe to concern themselves with too much. They were only children, and they didn’t need any additional stress tossed onto their shoulders when Ashe had classes and exams to worry about as it was and Lillian would, hopefully, be in the same boat shortly. He couldn’t blame her, though, for feeling apprehensive towards Rhea. He had a feeling she wasn’t disclosing everything to him, but he hardly cared about the details that had shoved a wedge in her relationship with the Archbishop. There was something dreadfully unsettlingly about Rhea, but he had chosen to give her the benefit of the doubt for the time being given that he simply didn’t know enough about the woman to make any drastic choices, and he didn’t wish for the students to become tangled up in some mess because he had pushed his luck which, mind you, had never been stellar to begin with. 

        Her words of reassurance and thanks were, in his opinion, unnecessary, but he didn’t wish to dismiss her sincerity yet again when this was clearly something she was passionate about. There had never been a doubt in his mind about how hard she would wok - it was Ashe who was advocating for her, after all, and he had always been rather studious so he was fairly confident that anyone suggested to him by the young archer would harbor similar dedication to their studies. As for her gratitude, while he was confident in his ability to convince Rhea to permit Lillian to attend classes, he hadn’t gotten her permission just yet and, thus, wasn’t in a position where the girl should be thanking him. He prayed Rhea would be as much of a non-issue as he had convinced himself she would be. Regardless of how difficult the Archbishop might make it, he fully intended to keep his promise to both Lillian and Ashe on the matter. 

       “Right, of course.” His voice is stale at best, he’s never been good at conveying his feelings through words. Frankly, he’s never been good at conveying his emotions at all - regardless of the method, though he hoped the two of them could gather the fact that he was very much taking their request seriously. Then again, with how stoic his natural expression was, joking wasn’t something he was terribly capable of and all of his attempts to do so had often failed so he was better off being as straightforward as possible to avoid causing his students distress (he thinks, as he recalls that time he tried to explain why nearly losing his arm in a fight had been the result of a  hysterical string of events only for his poor students to look at him, horrified, by the end of his tale instead of laughing as he assumed they would). 

       “I understand. Nothing I do for the sake of my students will ever cause me any trouble.” Well, it very well could, but it was trouble he didn’t mind facing or carrying for them until they were old enough to stand on their own. He was their teacher, after all, so it was more or less his job to look out for them. Or, at least, that was what all of the tomes and texts he had read on the matter had implied. Yes, he does, in fact, read books on how to be a decent teacher. Whether or not any of that information is sticking has yet to be seen, but he’d like to believe he was doing a halfway decent job since Rhea hasn’t fired him yet and no one’s died. Then again, he’s fairly convinced he could set the school on fire and Rhea still wouldn’t dismiss him, but that was another matter entirely. 

        “It’s more than clear to me that you’re sincere.” He nods, hoping the motion will get the point across when his last attempt to give her a smile had failed spectacularly. “I believe that settles everything, if you’ll excuse me, I’ll meet with the Archbishop and inform you of her decision as soon as I am able.” He imagines Rhea might keep him for a bit, if only because he so rarely sought her out when not needing to directly speak with her about missions and classes. And it was hardly a secret that she favored him. And he imagined she might fill in the blanks that Lillian had intentionally left in, though he didn’t truly want her to do so on the girl’s behalf. With a polite, but somewhat stiff bow he excused himself from the table, leaving the pair there to address everything that had happened in his absence. 

The whole experience felt so, surreal Lillian sat there as she nodded and wished the professor well as he walked away. The girl for a moment found herself drawn back down into her drink just trying to grasp at what had just transpired. Without so much as a ‘what if’ style argument the Professor had taken hers and Ashe’s request and gotten up more or less shortly after to complete it. She had no doubt his quickness to accept her request was not completely due to her ‘wonderful’ presentation of herself just then if anything she’d been holding herself back far harder than when she spoke to Ashe, out of fear. No it was clear at least to her that he seemed to place a great amount of faith in Ashe’s request itself, and the fact that he was the one requesting she looked over to her right at the silver haired boy again who seemed happy as ever since this whole thing began.

For a moment Lillian found herself just staring at the other boy, she did not even know what to begin to say. It was overwhelming to her in a way to consider someone else helping her or even trying to, yet it was Ashe’s boldness and certainty that had even gotten her to come this far. How did you thank someone for something like that? Or even make them understand what you were feeling? She likely could explain her whole past, a circumstance she did not wish to discuss, and still be unable to describe what she was feeling to him. A heavy weight began gathering behind her eyes and without even realizing it or why, Lillian began to cry.

“I-I’m sorry Ashe I don’t mean to be I”m just....so...so” a small hiccup left her lips as she tried and failed to quell the tears she now had. But, she was not unhappy, overwhelmed perhaps yes, but not nearly unhappy.

“I never thought anyone would even give me a chance....to be anything other than what I was...I believed that and I-” She pushed her bangs out of her face as best she could and looked at him sort of holding onto herself like she was trying to hold her last threads of composure together, and evidently failing.

       He noticed when she seemed to zone out of the conversation; her gaze fixed on the tea but largely devoid of anything but the hint of sorrow within her eyes. But he wasn’t here to rush her by any means, and Ashe had patience for days so he wasn’t concerned about the boy disturbing her unless it was simply for the sake of ensuring she was all right. The answer was, based on what little she had disclosed to him thus far, was most likely ‘no’, but he barely knew Lillian at this point and trying to force her to confess everything she was thinking would likely only make the situation worse. While she seemed to be warming up to him a bit, she was still a shadow of the girl Ashe had so passionately described to him. But he couldn’t fault her for that. Compared to Ashe, well, he left much to be desired in the communication aspect, and the boy had a way of drawing people to him - if Ashe were the sun, he might as well have been a brick wall in contrast. 

       Thankfully, she pulled herself together quickly enough, appeasing his concern just a bit. He sincerely doubted the expression she had been wearing and her overall silence came from a place of rudeness. Frankly, even if it had, he wouldn’t have minded - he wasn’t exactly a social butterfly himself so it wasn’t as if he hadn’t unintentionally given a few of his fellow professors the cold shoulder a handful of times already. If anything, she seemed nervous and, perhaps, a bit uncomfortable. That feeling had lessened with time, and he imagined she would begin to a feel a bit safer when she had the chance to interact with more people her own age. After all, that had been one of the driving factors she had mentioned when it came to her interest in taking classes. And he was fairly confident, after hearing that, Ashe would be quick to introduce her to hew new classmates (a blessing, truly, given that he wasn’t confident in his ability to formally introduce her to everyone - especially not without lecturing Sylvain in the process or getting distracted). 

       “No, it’s all right. Take all of the time you need.” He still needed quite a bit of work when it come to properly expressing his emotions, but he did make an active effort to keep his tone soft and polite and, though he’s fairly certain his smile is nothing more than a line upon his lips, he does try to smile to ease worries. Thankfully, Ashe is capable of smiling wide enough for the three of them or else this little tea party of theirs would be looking rather grave at the moment - as if they were discussing something awful or serious rather than welcoming Lillian into their class. Well, he supposed this was more so an introduction than an official welcome as he would still need to seek Rhea’s approval in order for the girl to be added to his class. But he intended to look for the Archbishop as soon as this conversation was over and, hopefully, make it official to ease the worries Lillian seemed to feel about it.  

       He shook his head in response to her gratitude. He’d never been one for ‘thank you’s’or ‘your welcome’s’ especially given the fact that, at the moment, he was just doing what should have been expected from him as a professor at the academy, but this clearly meant a lot to her. “There’s no need to thank me.” He wishes he was slightly better at things like this, but so long as he gets the job done, he supposes that’ll be good enough. He almost pities the poor girl for having to come to his class instead of one of the others where she would have a more formal education and a much better teacher. His lessons were always a bit…extreme, but, right now, it’s wise to keep that little tidbit from her. He doesn’t want to ruin the moment for her. 

        “I’ll speak to Rhea once we’re through here, and I’ll let you know as soon as she allows you to join the class. I imagine I’ll be able to get back to by the end of the day with the news.” Despite what she’s said, he’s still confident he’ll be able to convince the Archbishop to entrust Lillian to him. He imagines the process won’t be as simple as it is when a student simply transfers into his class from one of the other houses, but it shouldn’t be anything too extreme. And, with enough pestering, he’s certain he can get Rhea to agree to most anything that isn’t in direct conflict with the church itself.

      “After that, I’ll trust Ashe to introduce you to the rest of the class.” He shoots the boy a somewhat pleading look, though whether or not Ashe notices he doesn’t make clear, he merely accepts the job that’s been thrust onto him. Hopefully the others will be on their best behavior so as to not give her too much of a shock to her system and make her regret wanting to take lessons to begin with. “Is there anything else you would like to discuss with me before I speak with Rhea?” The other is only made to ease any concerns she still has, and isn’t an attempt to wiggle more information out of her. If she wishes to disclose the extent of what’s bothering her, well, she’ll hopefully have all of the time in the world to do so soon enough. 

The Professor continued to prove to be a very different man than she had envisioned based on her assumptions about the church but, in a way also from the man Ashe described. Still he was much closer to the green eyed boys description than her own silly notions based on fear but there was something else. He carried with him well with no better term, a ‘lacking’ not as an instructor, or a responsible authority figure, or perhaps the things he would quietly worry about. No it was a lack she was familiar with when a part of you was hollowed out, eaten, taken away never to return, it was a lack she often felt. She wondered what had carved it into him, or if she was just seeing things, projecting out of her desire to protect people. Yet, there was something about when he tried to smile, or press a ‘normal’ emotion onto his face that felt genuine and forced all at once. As though he didn’t know how, she could relate to that. The ‘lack’ in a way was what she was starting to like about him, it was something she could make sense of in another person.

People talked about families, friends, entire lives that made no sense to her because of her own upbringing. Yet NOT understanding those things was something she understood, and some of the Professor’s social cues or lack there of seemed to imply his own history might not be...regular. Still she kept this shut tightly in her mind, and did not comment on it she’d learned the hard way such things were rude. Not to mention again, she always worried she might project onto others out of desperation to connect.Still with the matters more resolved than before a small spark of joy was returning to her chest. She had said what she had to what was supposed to ‘frighten’ people off and nothing bad had happened, it was a relief to say the least.

Still this last question left her perplexed, there were a hundred things she could tell him about her relationship, awful as it was, with the Archbishop but, she doubted it would be helpful. She loathed the woman and the church but, extreme feelings like that they were her’s to hold onto, alone. They clearly weren’t normal everyone here seemed to kiss the ground Rhea walked on. To voice her desire to see the woman cut down or at the very least knocked down a peg to see the suffering she overlooked from her lofty perch, would only outcast her further.

There likely wasn’t a person alive who’d understand, not even Gabriel, so instead of saying anything she shook her head ‘no’ in response to his question. If he got her to agree, then Rhea didn’t matter anymore, at least not for a while, not for the rest of the year. If he got her to say yes then all that mattered was making the most of the blessing being given to her by the kindness of Ashe, and equally so as he had to climb the true hurdle between her and enrolling, the Professor. He deflected her thanks, her holding onto her spotty relationship with Rhea and the church made it impossible to explain why it meant so much, yet she could not help but thank him again. She pushed the rest away, she took one look at her freckled soon to be classmates smile and drew on it to expand the joy in her own chest to show the Professor a real smile, the smile she’d shown Ashe, he deserved that same gratitude.

“I’m sure with Ashe’s help I’ll be just fine, so you don’t have to worry about me, I’ll work very hard Professor I promise.” she meant it every word, a door that had been staring her in the face shut tightly for years was staring to open and she refused to let that moment be lost in thoughts about the past.

“But, please understand this professor I know it does not seem like much of anything to you and I pray it doesn’t cause you much trouble. But, to me, you’re giving me a path in life and a chance I’ve begged people for my whole life something I know in my heart...I need to become a better person. That’s not nothing and it’s not ‘no big deal’ or ‘what anyone would do’. What you and Ashe are doing for me I can’t repay, but, I’ll do my best to try!”

      There’s a silent sigh of relief that manages to filter past his lips at her words. Honestly, he had taken a risk and grabbed the first packet he had found instead of trying to dig up Ashe’s favorite tea just on the off chance he might find something she would enjoy. And he was grateful his gamble had paid off, even if his earlier blunder was a but too noticeable for his own liking. While he had been assigned the position rather forcefully, now that he was a professor here he did strive to do his best for the sake of the students who had been entrusted him so making such a simple mistake was a bit of a mark on his already less then perfect record, not to mention his lack of people skills and social graces as well. Let’s just say growing up while in the company of mercenaries didn’t exactly make for the most proper tongue and manners - he’d had to pick a few of the more proper customs up from his students by constantly inviting a few of the more prim and proper students (mainly Lorenz, given that most of his own students were too kindhearted to actually point out his mistakes; case and point being Ashe who had gratefully accepted the over-poured cup and said nothing on the matter) out to tea just to make sure he wasn’t actually messing anything up. 

         “That’s good to know.” His voice was stiff, though mot unfriendly or stern, and it was largely due to the fact that he was, actually, mildly nervous about this little endeavor. He had accepted several students into his class over the course of the year thus far, but this was first time he was meeting someone at the request of one of his own students and the first time he had been asked to judge whether or not someone should be allowed to attend classes. In all of the other cases they had been students from the other houses who had simply found his studies more beneficial to their goals. In Lillian’s case, she wasn’t actually a student here at all, so it would be a bit more difficult of a task, but nothing he minded, but it also meant he didn’t know what he should say to her. Even when teaching, he tended to be a man of few words and action rather than one to lecture for long periods of time. It was his weakness as a teacher here. 

        Thankfully, the tea seemed to help bring her out of her shell a bit (if not, he might have had to rely on Ashe for help which, as the boy’s professor, would have been a bit on the pitiful side). Strategy, history, and training were all things he taught naturally and played a role in the majority of their courses. They were the foundations of learning at this academy, so adhering to her wish wouldn’t be difficult. If anything, she would likely be drowning in history lessons and strategy studies for the first few weeks in order to get her up to code with the other students so she would be able to take part in group projects without feeling as if she was behind. And he was more than capable of setting up training sessions for her in order to give her the chance to watch and practice with other people her age. He didn’t mind her honesty either. When she said she would do her best, he very much believed her. He doesn’t know her background, of course, so he can’t imagine why she hasn’t been able to spend time around the students, but if that was her motivation that was fine by him. Though, the way she had worded it made it sound like she was almost proud of the fact that she was apparently good at not making herself known.  

       “Of course, that won’t be a problem. I’m sure the other students will welcome you and I trust that you’ll be studious.” Well, mostly, if he excluded Felix and glossed over the fact that Sylvain would be a bit too enthusiastic for his tastes because, well…well, he should probably keep his habits from her if he doesn’t wish for her to suddenly change her mind. Perhaps it would be best to have Ashe introduce her to Mercedes first. “But you don’t need to go that far, I doubt you’ll be hassle when -” He coughs into his palm to stop himself from saying too much. He’s here to help her enroll in classes not frighten her off. “Well, anyway, none of that will be an issue. I’m sure you’ll do well.” He poured what tea was leftover into a spare cup for himself and took a sip, just to pretend he just hadn’t almost informed her of the fact that a few of his students could be a bit…difficult. 

         Her next statement does surprise him a bit, but not enough for it show on his features. From what she claimed, it was likely due to Rhea herself that she hadn’t been enrolled in classes yet due despite her wish to do so. But that didn’t deter him. At times he questioned the Archbishop’s motivates though he never spoke on the matter. He was hardly intimidated by her, even if she was unsettlingly for reasons he didn’t quite know or understand. Regardless, he had no issues with confronting her on the matter and asked for Lillian to placed into the Blue Lions house. As for magic or curses, he’s not terribly concerned. “I see, that’s even more of a reason for her to allow you to study. It would serve as a foundation to provide with the confidence and knowledge you’ll need in order to keep your power under control. If she’s concerned about the matter, I will give her my word I will not allow harm to befall the other students, so you need not worry yourself about that.” 

Lillian was beginning to see the teacher that Ashe had described to her, and less of her preconceived notions about anyone connected to the church. In a way she did not mean to be dismissive of people for such a simple reason yet, so much of the church was dismissive of HER or worse for similar reasons so it was frequently difficult for her to find it in her heart to be...fair. She was relieved how simply the professor addressed her concerns about the Archbishop he didn’t seem remotely afraid. She wished she could claim the same, there were things she’d once tried to explain to the woman but in the end her eyes and something about her presence scared Lillian off from saying anything she stopped going near her after that. There was just something about her combined with her connection to everything Lillian had experienced since being DRAGGED here against her will, a detail she was all to quick to remember.

Not that the cult was any better yet, they’d tried to make her a monster by isolating her in a  room and what was the first thing the church did? Lock her, alone, in a cell even now she was isolated, it fed that thing she knew it did. Before she met Gabriel the voices were getting nearly intolerable and after, they were a bit...quieter she felt more like she could manage them. Yet to explain that to the Archbishop wasn’t something she had in her nor was it something she believed would work. Before she knew it she found herself staring into her tea cup holding it as though she would take a drink but never doing so, a removed expression on her face with traces of sorrow and frustration but mostly the stare appeared blank, removed from the moment, but she pulled herself back shaking her head mumbling some kind of apology.

“That happens sometimes...I’m sorry...” she finally took the long paused sip from her drink and set the cup back down. Quietly debating how much she should tip on the matter, with Ashe around she felt...safer, but, she still didn’t know the professor well enough nor did she have any desire to frighten her new friend. Even though she was certain this conversation may have illuminated some of her odd earlier comments regarding the church and show she spent her time here. Besides it wasn’t a time for sorrows, Professor Eisner had said yes in spite of her handing him all the ‘facts’ the Church would surely tell him about her he didn’t seem deterred in the slightest. He was going to do it, and if it was him, maybe just maybe she’d say yes his reasons seemed sound enough and EVERYONE knew she had a strange favor with this new professor after all even his appointment was completely her idea.

“Thank you Professor, really I mean that....this is- this means more to me than I can put into words and I won’t forget your kindness you can count on that.” Acceptance and kindness until this year were just words she’d heard and never experienced a part of her believed them to be lip service to a society that did not wish to admit it was as cruel as it was. Yet, after meeting the few people she had this year to offer her a hand or some kind of help she was beginning to see that perhaps those words meanings were not all lip service to cover a lack of empathy. She did not like Fodlan, she did not like the church, the monastery, or anything that made this place what it was.

But, she liked Gabriel, she liked Ashe and she was beginning to like the Professor as she saw him for who he might really be. That was worth something, it quieted the dark thoughts that crowded her mind for years, and gave her argument to hush away the whispers of that monster and keep control over her own body. It meant MORE than she literally could explain without being up for execution for spilling church secrets. To think her very life and nature of her existence had become considered church secrets, she didn’t dwell on it, it would make her feel ill. She wanted nothing more than to belong to herself.

       He wasn’t so unaware and detached that he didn’t notice how cautiously she dragged herself over to them. She looked more akin to an animal about to turn tail and flee from some carnivore that had corned its prey than the student Ashe had described to him a moment ago - a bright girl with a strong desire to learn. And while he had his doubts now that he had laid his eyes on her, Ashe was still one of his students and though, at times he could be a bit too much of a bleeding heart, he still trusted the boy’s judgement. He was too gung-ho about this whole meeting for it to be something he wasn’t taking seriously so he would respect student and his wishes. If anything, he of all people would know that this place had a habit of collecting students with more on their minds than just their studies and when the next exam would be held. He imagined she was much the same. Whatever reason she seemed to wish to hide herself from him, he was confident it was valid enough to explain how she presented herself to him. 

      Unfortunately for the both of them, expressing himself wasn’t exactly an area he harbored much talent in so despite the fact that he tried to offer her a gentle, harmless smile he wasn’t confident that it came through at all. Well, on the bright side, at least Ashe was standing right next to him with a grin on his face big enough for the both of them. If he were lucky, perhaps the boy’s endless enthusiasm would somehow manage to rub off on him and he’d be beaming just as brightly - on second thought, the mental image of him with a smile that wide pained onto his normally stoic and stern features was almost creepy (and he made a mental note to never think about it again) - he imagined even his own father would have looked unsettlingly, as well; he supposed it must run in the family.     

       “It’s nice to meet you, Lillian. There’s no need to thank me. Ashe has already informed me that you’re interested in joining our class?” With how uncomfortable she was coming off he didn’t really want to delay the point of this conversation, if he did, he was afraid she might actually run away. Well, actually, he was afraid she might run away from how quickly he had jumped into things. Ah, he’d never been much of a people person, and he supposed that was coming back to bite him in the ass now that he was actively teaching an entire class here. He was aware, as an instructor, he was lacking and had much he still could learn from the others here who had been teaching for years, but that didn’t change the fact that he wanted to well by his students and provide them with the education they most certainly deserved. That included Lillian, as well, if she had a desire to learn he would be more than happy to help her out where he was able to.   

       But his less than stellar people skills weren’t doing him any favors at the moment. She seemed like she was afraid him, and he could truly only blame himself for that. Ashe had described her as being fairly outgoing and cheerful. Right now, she was nothing like the potential student he had mentioned to her. Then again, compared to Ashe he was definitely more…intimidating (and a spare glance to the eager boy beside him very much solidified the fact). Ah, there must be something he could do to help her relax? Most of the students here enjoyed tea, even if his ability to make it wasn’t exactly anything to write home about. 

        “Why not have a seat, I’ll make you some tea.” He gestured to the table behind them and urged Ashe to sit down while he quickly grabbed a tea pot and a mixture. What mixture? He didn’t know. He wasn’t paying attention - he was too busy mulling over what to say to her to help her relax - which is also why he didn’t notice he was about to over-pour the tea until the warm liquid splashed against his fingers and he quickly picked the pot up, passing the over-filled cup to Ashe to hide his little blunder before pouring a much nicer cup for Lillian. Small talk might help, but he also didn’t want her to think he was putting her on the spot either. “Are there any particular subjects you’re most interested in? When I make a lesson plan for you, I’d like to keep your interests in mind.” 

      Much like Ashe, the thought of not accepting Lillian into his class never crossed his mind. Ashe had never truly asked him for anything before now, and he was determined to give him what he wanted. And, what he wanted was Lillian joining the Blue Lions. He’d have to seek Rhea’s approval, of course, but he wasn’t terribly concerned about that. As leery as he was about the Archbishop, she seemed to adore him. Asking her for such a small favor shouldn’t be difficult. And, well, if she rejected him he would just ask her over and over again until she eventually caved and approved her. Was it the most honorable plan? No, but he was dead-set on teaching her, both for Ashe’s sake and for how passionate Ashe had implied she was about learning.   

To call professor Eisner, different from what she expected given the few times she’d seen him and what she’d heard about him, was an understatement. In truth she expected him to be more like ‘them’ yet that did not seem to be the case at all. In fact just handing the overfilled cup to Ashe did little to hide the blunder for her, she was fixed on the instructor at first out of fear waiting for a sour move tot ell her this was a bad idea, yet instead what she found was a man almost blundering struggling to talk to her as she struggled to stand here.

Between that and a quick glance at Ashe’s face she pulled out a chair and sat down. For a moment when she looked at the other student and smiled back at him, a hint of the girl that Ashe had described pressed through her wary facade she’d put up, frankly to protect herself. Yet, she was beginning to consider that might not be necessary, Professor Eisner wasn’t...threatening. In fact she could almost relate to the discomfort and uncertainty hidden only under a thin veil of composure that seemed to show through an action here or there. Truth be told his getting right to the point helped put her at a bit more ease,s he didn’t want to dance around the issue she found conversations like that tiring.

Professor Hanneman had dragged her through enough conversations where he wanted something, usually related to her crest, and wouldn’t just out and say it trying to find some more delicate way to frankly, get her to say yes. Not that she MINDED helping him, at the very least he treated her like a valuable asset which was a step above frightening monster or ticking time bomb. But, this wasn’t the time for thoughts like that. The teat that was passed to her, she knew it, Crescent-Moon, Gabriel had shown it to her, if by shown it to her you meant climbed a roof with a hot pot of tea when he heard her crying on it. She shook her head at the memory but the small smile she’d shown Ashe directly earlier came to her face more fully now.

“Oh I know this blend...it’s my favorite.” the comment was idle but it helped her find her voice in this conversation she’d struggled to pull words out until that moment. Even though the professor had been trying his best to ask her questions and get her talking, with those words out the words to answer him and explain herself came a bit more easily. After all, he spoke as though his answer to helping her was already yes? Though she had only manage to mutter once sentence to him before the tea came out.

“Uhm well I’m very good at magic, reason especially, but really I taught myself a lot of that from Professor Hanneman’s books. In truth I’d like to learn other things, everything if possible, there are so many things I don’t understand about strategy, history, how other people fight, I- just want to understand the world around me better.” it was probably an odd thing to say yet it was true. It was hard for Lillian to talk to anyone who wasn’t so unendingly bright and friendly like Ashe or Gabriel, she always panicked or fled. So books and learning, it was the only way she felt she could begin to understand the people around her.

“And...to tell you the truth professor, I just really want to be around people my own age, people who don’t know me yet...th-that’s not to say I wouldn’t work very hard I would! I’ll pay attention and I won’t cause you any hassle I’m very good at making it seem like I’m not even there!” it sounded almost sad the way she said it, but, it was how she survived here. She was still worried about what the Archbishop might say especially to someone she favored like Professor Eisner yet, he’d been entrusted with a relic far more valuable than her so perhaps...Lillian felt torn if she should say anything on the matter or not finally she decided being honest was the best way to proceed though it scared her to voice anything even mildly negative about the woman around here she kept her words chosen very carefully.

     A part of him could understand her apprehension towards the idea of something as frivolous as tea parties sounded and, truth be told, he wasn’t without his own opinion on the matter. But now that he had started at the Officer’s Academy he’d come to realize it was just a means to sit down and get to know someone a bit better through. He was very much of the mindset that one of the easiest ways to bring people together was through was a decent meal or treat, and the fact that the tea often tasted good was a bonus. However, it was hard for him to wrap his head around the idea that she had never shared a meal with anyone before sitting down to tea with someone. Perhaps it’s simply because of his background that he always ate meals with his family before coming here and, now that he was away from his family, he always shared his meals with friends. 

        “It’s a good way to get to know people. Nothing brings people together like a good meal - that’s how you met me, after all. We should eat dinner together sometime,” He offers. Admittedly, the professor was on an entirely different level from himself so he imagined the idea of heaving tea with him was quite a bit more intimidating than the idea of having dinner with himself every so often. Still, he hadn’t lost his enthusiasm one bit from the moment Lillian had mentioned her interest in studying. He himself had a passion for learning, so it would be a treat to have another student in their class to study with. Sure, he studied with Annette and Ingrid all of the time, but most of the others were busy training with swords and lances rather than reading up on their lessons and asking the professor questions. Not that he didn’t enjoy training with weapons or anything, but when stacked up against Felix and Dimitri he simply couldn’t compare and keeping up with Felix was a bit of a nightmare on the training grounds. 

      “That’s a really good idea. The professor hasn’t met you before, so I don’t think you have anything to worry about there.” He can’t really understand why she’s frightened of the others here, but he also won’t question her about it. And he can’t help but smile at her interest in meeting his classmates. “Once the professor accepts you into our class, I’ll make sure to introduce you to everyone. I think you’ll get along well with them. Anette and Mercedes will welcome you, and Dedue is really kind, as well. Felix can be a bit intimidating, but he reminds me of the knights in stories, and Ingrid does well, and she enjoys reading. Sylvain, well, he’s pretty smart, and I’m sure his highness will be happy to have you as well.” There’s no ifs or buts. He doesn’t even consider it a possibility that the professor will reject her.   

      “I’m glad, we’re friends, so I hope I’m able to help you out in return.” He has truly no idea how much what he’s already done for her means to her. “There’s still plenty of daylight so let’s go find the professor while we have the chance.” He begins to head out - thankfully the professor isn’t too difficult to find most of the time, and he does manage to find his teacher not far away from the small outdoor dining area where they often host tea parties. With a grin a mile wide on his features, he turns back to Lillian for a brief moment, “I’ll go talk to him first, I’ll wave you over if he’s free,” he beams before making his way over. He’s not about to let her down - he’s very much determined to get the professor to sit down and have tea with her right then and there. 

       And, luckily, the professor he’s spent the better half of the idea building up is actually, for once, free. Ashe is, perhaps, a bit too enthusiastic when he turns around on his heels and waves his hand in the air to call her over. Yeah, he might be a bit too excited about this, but at least he’s made it clear he supports her without a shadow of a doubt - not that he hadn’t already.                

Truly if she explained to Ashe that before the monastery all her meals were spent alone in a cold room or then at the monastery spent hiding from the staff well, it would be a bit of a culture shock surely. Which was why she’d had the forethought to leave it at she usually ate alone, it was easier to explain there were things she held in her heart that she felt she couldn’t share. A darkness as sense of burden that was not to poison those around her, so no mater how awful it made her feel she kept her mouth shut. She had to.

However, in spite of having to use some of her usual evasive speech and worries, the sorrow did not latch on or take hold. She was too much a mixture of giddy and nervous both for what they were walking to do and being around someone else so...kind. And when he called her his friend? She almost forgot to breathe, already, she really made another friend. Over a meal of all things, which was a bit funny given her history. Still she smiled wide at his offer of dinner.

“I’d love to, it gets very quiet eating in my room...and it feels very strange when I sit alone in the dining hall.” she left it there though she did not dwell, instead she found herself a little facilitated if not confused by how excited he seemed, just as excited as she was if not more.

“I can’t wait to meet them proper...I think I’ve seen most of them a few times if I remember right.” Interestingly the portrait Ashe painted of the blue lions class was very different from the one she’d once heard from Gabriel. That Anette and Ingrid were workhorses who were nice but a lot to deal with when studying, Felix was a jerk to be avoided at all costs, the prince was depressing to be around and ominous, Sylvain spent all his time dis-genuinely chasing women...Dedue was nice but really needed to work on his people skills. Yet, Ashe and Mercedes he’d never said much one way or another. However, oddly she put more stock in Ashe’s opinion because of how well she knew Gabriel and the things that colored his view of well...everything.

Still soon enough the time for chatter was passed and Ashe bolted over to Professor Eisner, Lillian felt the knot re-enter her stomach looking at the man. She knew only that Rhea liked him, which while that was a boon to most’s opinions of someone, for Lillian it brought only anxiety and fear. She considered running, her body pushing her desperatly to, but, she focused on Ashe, on his smile how certain he was-

-that he called her his FRIEND. It was enough while the movements were obviously done with great hesitation when the feckled boy waved her over Lillian apportioned slowly, cautiously, almost like an animal in the pure ‘ready to run’expression her face held. She pulled her bangs firmly over both her eyes as she walked over, and took a deep breath.