i can’t find him. I don’t think the county jail logs are accurate. or maybe i’m in denial that someone fuckin ghosted me?? but wth! we had such a great time and a great vibe... and he asked me to be exclusive but like why the fuck would you drop someone like that?

is this karma for all the boys ive done wrong. God, i at least am owed this for the shit my ex did. or am i dodging the bullet?

I DONT CARE IF HE’S ONE TO GET LOCKED UP. that honestly isn’t a factor i judge people off of. a lot of people go to jail and its really normal. but maybe im normalizing crime? am in denial? avoiding red flags? defending the guilty?

i cried to god for a compass

he said “you have one, son. open your eyes.”

I sat and stayed. was left in gloom

while I looked at what I have been looking at for the longest time

a big white wall so blank and in my face

i thought i was going blind

“why do you want to get to where you want to go?”