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“Say that again, but slowly”

The only thing flat earthers have to fear is sphere itself…

😂😂😂😂

People from states with nice roads may never understand what it’s like hitting a pothole so hard that your soul leaves your body for a moment and you feel an obligation to audibly apologize to your car.

If you think you ever fucked up bad, just remember somewhere an ant brought borax laced food to the colony killing the queen and the colony

Ceiling fans seem to have universal settings, first setting you can’t feel anything, second setting is its almost there, third setting is shaking your house and going to fly off and kill you in your sleep.

😂😂😂😂

Some injuries are so painful that you need to scream, and there are injuries that are so painful that you kept silence.

If cows go “moo”, and cats go “meow”, and ducks go “quack”, and dogs go “woof”, what is the designated sound that humans make?

*Incoherent screaming interrupted by random sobbing noises*

An immortal person would have to be somewhat multilingual because language changes so much over time. Therefore, if you see someone that knows tons of languages, you should question their mortality.

Atticus O'Sullivan