Just Me!

If you only pay attention to your sub when it is convenient for you, you are not a Dom.

If you tire of a submissive, and ghost her, rather than having an honest conversation with her, you are not a Dom.

If you view boundaries, limits, and the word “no” as impediments to your will to push past and degrade, you are not a Dom.

If you make a sub doubt and question themselves to produce an outcome that’s favorable for you, you are not a Dom.

If you think Dominance is all about having a relationship that revolves around you and serving your needs, you are not a Dom.

If you refer to subs as “broken”, or view them as a hassle because they have mental, physical, or emotional challenges, you are not a Dom. 

If you think that your way of being a Dom is the only right way to be a Dom, you are not a Dom. 

If you are having multiple relationships with submissive girls without them all knowing about each other, you are not a Dom. 

If you degrade your partner’s relationships to isolate them so that they don’t get opinions other than yours, you are not a Dom.

If you play or prey on girls who are under the age of 18, you are not a Dom.

Watching her sleep....in tousled hair......

The light from the morning sun bends around her sensuous curves......

It's rays as spotlights.....hilighting her skin tones......her ...freckles.....and dimples......scars.....and curves.....all blended into the fabric of her......

She moves my heart.....for in such beauty....I see her strength.....her love of life.....her infectious spirit.......and her kind ways.....

And I reflect on all she is....all she has been....and all she is becoming......and a lump comes to my throat.....in appreciation of her.....in this moment......and I love her all the more.....

For she is art.....lying here before me.....in my bed......

So I sit.... just to admire her a while longer.....placing the coffees on the nightstand.....and she stirs...the aroma filling her senses.....to the morning....ahead...

Turning her face towards me she smiles.....and the lump in my throat .....now runs from the corner of my eye......for she warms my heart .....as..... I'm so in love with this woman.....

And as she turns towards me ......I see her strength.... her beauty....and her love.... deep in her eyes.....for she is art.....and she makes me feel alive.....

Moments....with her......

Being a Dominant may start out as just fun, kinky play - but when becoming involved and entangled in most D/s dynamics, you take on certain responsibilities along with that role.  Based on experience, reflections, and answers to a survey, these are the seven responsibilities of a Dominant.

A Dominant must:

1.  Respect.  There must be respect for the submissive - respect for their desires and wishes; respect for their nurturing and growth; respect for their consent, body, and safety.  Dominance without respect becomes dangerous.

2.  Protect.  Taking on a submissive is a serious undertaking, and the Dominant becomes responsible for their protection and safekeeping.  They must be kept protected from others and even from certain parts of themselves.  Dominance without protection is powerless.

3.  Direct.  The Dominant must command, instruct, and guide on no uncertain terms.  Directions must be clear, concise, realistic, and specific. This is the primary active role of the Dominant, to provide direction and guidance to the submissive.  Dominance without direction is inadequate.

4.  Inspire.  It is not enough for a Dominant to simply give direction; they must inspire the submissive to obey the direction.  In different dynamics, this will take different forms - submissives may be inspired by fear, pain, command presence, love, experience, or a number of other factors and qualities.  Dominance without inspiration is contrived.

5.  Correct.  Once direction is given, the Dominant must follow through and correct any faults and shortcomings observed in the submissive’s obedience - with any discipline required to enforce the corrections.  Dominance without correction is unproductive, or worse, counter-productive.

6.  Nurture.  Direction and correction should be given to grow and better a submissive, not just for the sake of it.  A Dominant should challenge a submissive, expand their limits, and encourage their potential.  Dominance without nurturing is tautological.