iâm not even gonna bother putting this under a read more. let me just throw all my emotions on the dash.
so being a brown girl in a conservative family, dating has always been hard. first boyfriend, trying to hide it from my mother, it was hard. incredibly so. so i told her yesterday cause i couldnât take it anymore. i thought it through over and over again, but i told her. i knew what qualms sheâd have with him because i know heâs not her taste. to be frank, me and her have never had the same taste. but i thought sheâd give that up. i thought sheâd be willing to look back the fact that heâs not some model-esque prince charming sheâs always wanted. i thought sheâd be able to accept that i find him attractive and thatâs all that matters.
she didnât. sheâs honed down on one trait and told me again and again âif he was taller, iâd be okay with it.â height. youâre telling me, height is the reason youâre going to tear me away from the boy i love. youâre telling me height -- heâs two inches taller than me, 3 shorter than my dad. no, heâs not tall. no oneâs ever said he was, and he knows that too. heâs taller than me. heâs taller than my mom.Â
regardless of how tall he is. why does that matter. why is that the deal breaker? how do you expect me to break up with a boy because of his goddamn motherfucking height. i knew it would come down to complexion (because south asians are disgusting with their shadism) or height. i expected it to be more so complexion actually. but itâs not and itâs killing me. i thought my parents, my mother, was a better person than this. i thought she had a bigger heart than this. i presented a guy to her who has a heart bigger than i could ever ask for, a guy of the same race, religion, can speak the language, well-educated, family oriented, and this. this is what it comes down to. sheâs watched her daughter practically hyperventilate from crying and hasnât budged.Â
what the actual fuck. what the actual fuck am i supposed to do? if i leave a boy for a physical trait that IÂ have no problem with -- how am i supposed to not regret that for the rest of my life?Â
what. the. actual. fuck.














