low to sporadic activity. because of my speed and schedule, i'm mutuals only.
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whether my muses go canon divergent or not depends entirely on my mood. feel free to ask questions about impending lore changes, but for the most part important aspects and warnings about their portrayal will be written in personalised rules within their dossiers.
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feel free to continue an ask at any point in time. i tend to be someone who wings content fairly easily, but i'm available for extensive plotting if that's your preference.
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i'm not super strict when it comes to godmodding or metagaming for set up and moving the story along. if you're unsure how far you can push it feel free to reach out.
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love shipping. truly. though i don't think it takes a lot to convince me, i do tend to need build up, communication, and lots of writing, when it comes to ships no matter what the dynamic is.
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mains are something i would love to establish over a while, with lots of writing, plotting, and time to shape dynamics. while i tend to gravitate towards one particular portrayal per muse, two is not an impossibility. that being said, i don't do general writing exclusivity at all.
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i tend to be unapologetic with the " nsft / " tag. serious matters including but not limited to : themes of violence, gore, torture, trauma, religion, abuse, war, malpractice, corruption, and sexual themes will appear here. i also partake in writing smut from time to time, and sometimes my humour can be crass and raunchy. i will try to tag everything accordingly but for these reasons caution is advised when following. please let me know if i have failed to tag something / or have tagged incorrectly.
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very happy to interact with duplicates, but out of caution regarding prior dupe anxiety i tend not to suggest it first. that being said roleplay possessiveness out of character won't be tolerated. for the most part anon hate will not be answered, drama will also not be tolerated. i would love to be informed if i am interacting with a legitimately dangerous person, but otherwise i am capable of choosing who i do and do not interact with.
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hi ! i'm nine. sometimes i use this blog as a sketch dump. my discord is available for chatting and plotting. and i hope we can have fun writing together !
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β tell me to stay. please β just this once. β childe to kaeya.
@selenitias.
their dynamic had been one built on broken promises and fleeting chances. from the moment they had laid eyes on one another the ice beneath their feet had started melting into an unmanageable muddy slop. heβd never believed that anything could grow in such unpredictable conditions, and certainly not if he kept poisoning the soil with his own self doubt, tearing up any semblance of safety and shelter to appease the demons in his head. to build something with ajax had been to hope for a future, to struggle against fate with a bargaining chip he didnβt even own. to ask him to stay implied he could be someoneβs sanctuary, that he was someone capable of protecting something he loved.
the words had always lingered on the tip of his tongue, lingering beneath the coming dawn but never able to kiss the light. oh kaeya had dreamed of the agency to want, to do more than yearn, and yearn, and yearn.
kaeya had broken ajaxβs heart out of what he thought was necessity, and he had carried that hurt into the abyss and still came out flush with that same, endearing desperation. his love was not fragile. the envy of such unrelenting resolve gnawed at his insides, made him green with it, clawed and raked at those crumbling walls until kaeya could no longer deny his insurmountable, unrelenting, and wholly consuming desire. he didnβt deserve him, but he wanted him. he might not be able to see his fate through to the end, but he would rather die trying than to lie with his regret. that had been the tragedy of kaeyaβs two warring natures ; for love to be his greatest strength, and his greatest undoing.
asking someone to stay, meant begging them not to leave. until ajax allowed kaeya to nestle in the cradle of his ribs, heβd been to weak to withstand another goodbye.
Β Β Β Β Β Β Β Β Β Β β Β just this once Β β¦ Β β Β and for the final, eternal time, Β β Β stay for me. Β β
his grip on ajaxβs hands had never been tighter. the elegance of them made for slinging love poems and plucking violin strings, giving way to the warriorβs calloused scars, the way untrimmed nails gripped his flesh like he would crawl out of his self-made grave to keep him. he was so tired of keeping up this facade of distance, so tired of holding up the walls melting around his heart. kaeyaβs face crumpled, practiced svelte tones coming away discordant and raw, grip tight and trembling, tear pricks at his eyelashes shadowed by the lines of unkept hair. if his own mask had between between his hands and not ajaxβs freckled hands, it would have shattered like ice.
only now that these requests hung in the air between them could kaeya envision a future where his world had come tumbling down. after the ground had split, the skies had been swallowed, that he might be able to rebuild again.
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Β Β Β Β Β Β Β Β Β Β β Β because of your reckless endeavours, we couldnβt reach a field medic, or a member of the damn alchemy commission. instead you have me. Β β
the craftsman knew the intricacies of any machine and ingenium better than he ever would another person. wherein their mechanical bodies followed order, precision, and even the most complicated of problems - mirroring the faults of the human body - could be categorised, recorded and tucked away in the pursuit of greater perfection. he didnβt know how medics and healers didnβt struggle with the idea they worked on a canvas in a constant state of disrepair, that the futility of the body began the second they started breathing. he damned himself constantly for the restraints his own short life put upon his goals and ambitions, that he could not even hope to entertain another path like healing with the time he had left.
heβd once thought that even a silly first aid class, specifically for warside injuries, was a waste of time when he had multiple deadlines to achieve. now heβd been glad it was part of the curriculum, no matter how small the opportunity was to utilise these skills.
despite almost being the same size now, yingxing managed to carry the lieutenant without much jostling, trying to keep an ear out for jing yuanβs breathing. the steady whir of the ingenium protecting them both was a comfort amidst the distant sound of battle, at least until they could properly reach the healers stations. he grit his teeth, black hair obscuring his vision as their goal came into view. like jing yuan, the craftsman would also be scolded for leaving his station, the fall line of ingenium repairs possibly falling into disarray, but out of all of jing yuanβs companions, he had been the closest, even if the least capable, and he had to try.
a bark of laughter, incredulous, bemused.
Β Β Β Β Β Β Β Β Β Β β Β things are dire right now, brat, and thatβs all you can think about ? Β β
β if i asked you not to leaveβ¦ would it change anything? β
( to cor β‘ )
@vessmar.
this wasnβt the first time vesper had asked something like this, every half century or so when the chasm between them seemed as if a small fissure instead, hiding the very cracks that would be their downfall. corazon had never attempted to hide her future endeavours, to tuck in her next travel brochures or save packing to the very last second. she had always made it painfully apparent that she would leave, and that her will to stay was always a waning, ephemeral thing. it had never been spite, or disdain for the idea, or even a lack of budding love that pushed her from the promise of something that was almost solid, almost real and warm, and something to call her home, but the same instinct to not touch the paint before it dried, to not touch a pan before it was too hot, to not hurt herself in her eagerness.
Β Β Β Β Β Β Β Β Β Β β Β it would change me. Β β Β for the worse.
this ramshackle house was on a lease. she knew by nature it was not big enough to house vessβ ambitions, the whispers of inspiration she saw in his small tinkering projects. the entire place was ill fitting, fleeting, much like her own nature. there was not enough room to grow here, even if what was here and now was nice ; being in vesperβs bed with his arms wrapped βround her, fingers running soothing patterns over her ribs and stomach. she could get used to this, but not here. cor would not settle for what she considered to be an imperfect fit.
and anyone could have taken that the wrong way, and would. part of corazon hoped that vesper would take it the wrong way, that he needed to change who he was at his own core in order to appease her when that wasnβt the case. whatever potential they both had could be squandered by accepting things before they were ready. vess was too unsteady, and cor was too volatile. any attempt to cage her in would result in an implosion, any loving hand too desperate with their grip, a choking vice sheβd break her own neck struggling away from. so no, not quite yet. some part of her wished he would stop waiting, while the other half knew that if he didnβt it was never ever meant to be.
such was the tragedy of the right person at the wrong time.
Β Β Β Β Β Β Β Β Β Β β Β β¦ Β and i donβt want to be the reason that you stop changing, vesper. Β β
( from @ lightricks / childe ) β partner ! β at this point it was a win / win whether aether would let himself get swept in a hug or intercept childeβs approach as an attack, but he figured there was no harm in trying. the chill of nod kraiβs icy shores had little effect on the harbinger, warm from recently sated bloodlust, and filled with the delirious glee of seeing one of his favourite rivals. the harbingerβs touch did not hold back either, sure and firm and bone-crushing with newly revived strength. his recovery post the fontaine flood had done him a world of good. β you look tired, have you eaten yet ? letβs get lunch. my treat. β
THERE'S SOMETHING TO BE SAID ABOUT THE WAY TRAVELLER ONLY TURNS TO FACE THE SOURCE OF THE SHOUT.Β A blink, a second one, and then, in the very next moment, he finds himself attacked by torrent tide in human skin wrapping his arms around him with all his strength. Huh. Hmm. It's not like their sparring matches have never gotten physical at times, but if he were to be honest, a hug is one of the least expected ways to be greeted. A pat on the shoulder or an arm thrown over it, sure. Full-body bear hug, though? Now, that's unexpected. ( And so, Aether wonders for all of five seconds if this is some kind of trap or maybe a prank before throwing the ideas out the window from how unlikely they seem. )
Little time is given to settle under the heavy weight of sudden contact before he's given another shock -- genuine concern for his health. Or, well, as sincere as he can bring himself to believe it is, although Childe's never given him any reason to doubt their interactions... aside from the first time they crossed paths, that is. Sheesh, couldn't you just keep looking the other way?Β Ah, no matter. No point in getting mad at what has already happened.
Thoughtful hum indicates he's thinking about whether he's already had breakfast or not. βΒ Well, the Lightkeepers were nice enough to let me sit with them this morning.Β βΒ read: Illuga insisted he had a healthy and filling meal before departing and didn't take no for an answer. He still has treats wrapped up securely stashed away in his bag to eat while he's out and about if he gets hungry. βΒ But that was hours ago at this point, and I was debating setting camp to make something to eat.Β βΒ or find a suitable tree to have a depression nap in before trudging onward.
βΒ Between the two of us, however,Β βΒ and here Aether actually laughs, tired, but amused βΒ I'm getting kind of sick of eating mandragoras and other assorted khuuvaki-infused beings. Don't get me wrong, they are absolutely delicious, but I just miss the taste of actual meat, y'know?Β βΒ which is saying something given that he has an iron stomach. He's eaten plenty of suspicious-looking things and survived with at most a terrible stomachache as a consequence.
Clap, clap. βΒ So!Β βΒ still no attempt whatsoever to shake the Harbinger off him. If anything, he seems to be enjoying the close contact and the heat radiating off the other. βΒ Where are we going?Β βΒ there's, really, only restaurant Speranza in Nasha Town, but maybe Childe has other ideas.
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i'm really sorry if you've ever known me for a long stretch of time because you know that i tend to measure muses in vibes and not, like, actual units of measurement. and i'm afraid that if i ever gave a unit of measurement out of sheer desperation, then i probably forgot about the exact number.
because to me, i measure muses by the comparisons of the people they hold dear : kaeya is at least an inch taller than diluc at all times. in comparison to my childe, kaeya is at forehead kissing height. ren is always tall enough so that silver wolf can headbutt his diaphram. caelus is tall enough to kiss dan heng's nose, and use march's shoulder as an elbow rest. dan heng in nameless form can comfortably rest his head on jing yuan's chest, and kiss his eyebrows as permansor terrae.
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