may the bridges i burn light the way.

hi, lovebugs. my name is meghan, i'm 25+ years old, and i reside in the pst time zone. this is a private, selective indie rp blog, which will contain adult, nsfw content. please read my rules and check out the main navigation before interacting. thank you! if you are looking for threads written before october 1st, 2021, they have been archived (a.k.a. set to private). if you would like access to them, please message me.

     “um. well.” the girl managed, right in the middle of a laugh and a bite of her ramen, which prompted a hand to come up and hide her mouth away. she finished her bite of food first, then lowered her hand and quirked her face a bit, responding to her ex-girlfriend. “i think it’s both. the first half is halloween, the second half is christmas!” her tone half with confidence and half-apologetic, as she knew jackie was about to react, but brooke was solid in her opinion. “maybe this is why you and i didn’t work out.” she laughed once more, leaning closer to the coffee table from her position on the carpeted floor, reaching for another bite of her ramen.

     daesung was in the middle of securing a collar back on one of the smaller dogs in the daycare’s care. it had gotten dirty, so the male took it upon himself to unlatch it and clean it up, which took a couple minutes -- and he was strangely quiet the entire time he did it. normally, daesung was very happy-go-lucky, but on this particular rainy day, the male just felt a bit... down. so, once he clicked the collar back on the dog in question, and turned to see his boyfriend headed in his direction?  it was like the boy had been reading his mind. heaven sent. his previously saddened expression lifted into a warm smile, and he chuckled softly, responding in a low tone. “hey. yeah. um. give me a minute to clock out. i’ll meet you in the break room?”

      “go ahead and leave. it’s what you always do, right?  always run when things get hard?  go ahead.”

     “are you really decorating for the holidays already?”

     a laugh falls from daesung’s lips, and he looks over at his friend, spatula in hand. “what?” he exclaims lightly, laughing a little more before glancing back down to the pan on the stove. “you’re friends with me because i make good blob pancakes.” the boy used the spatula to flip a couple of the pancakes once more, waiting a moment or two before lifting them onto a serving plate. “cloud blob pancakes for kris. how many do you want, kris?”

     “yeah... one minute.” he promised, in a deep, breathy mumble, shifting a little and covering himself up a bit more. his eyes remained closed, however, his body still mostly asleep, and it’s very clear he’s not making any moves whatsoever to actually get out of bed. “one more minute.”

     “you want some pancakes?  i made ‘em into different shapes. look, this one’s a heart. and this one’s... a... cloud.” was he sure?  absolutely not.

     it wasn’t unusual for employees of the family businesses to start work before they met any of the family members - in fact, it was rare for any of them to actually meet the family, let alone talk to them or work with them. the hiring process was done by trusted associates, and even though the family knew the names and backgrounds of everyone hired, they didn’t spend a lot of time mingling unless it was necessary. there were many reasons for it, and it was just how it worked. so, for nico to sit there in the middle of the family’s club and beckon a newbie over so they could talk - well, it was a little out of the ordinary. especially when it was someone working in the bar of the club.          nico himself, however, didn’t care. he’d state his case to family if need be, but otherwise, he chose his moments to do whatever he wanted. the man worked hard, and though he felt he didn’t deserve rewards most of the time, he did indulge once in a blue moon. and this boy, this pretty boy?  sure felt like a reward, an indulgence. he listened for a name, continuing to watch dante intently as the boy made his way closer, nico’s gaze content to stay put as though nothing else in the building existed. “dante. nice to meet you.” the man responded, genuinely pleased to make the server’s acquaintance. “i’m nico. that’s my cousin, gianni...” lifting the glass up in his hand, nico used it to gesture to each of the men sitting at the table. “and ivan... and marcello.”            the man finally took a small drink, lowering the glass back down before looking to dante once more. “if they give you any shit, you come to me. i’ll take care of it.” the men at the table gave their audible protests, nico ignoring it all as a response, focusing on dante instead ( though the men knew there wasn’t any serious conflict, of course ). his attention back on the pretty, blushing boy sitting beside him, nico took note of those pink cheeks, a soft smile crossing his own features as he did so. “how do you like it here so far, dante?  anything we should know about?” he lifted his glass and took another drink, clearly happy to sit and talk to the boy, despite the fact that dante was actually on shift - but nico’s demeanor made it clear that dante was very much on a break.

     it was comforting to hear jian moving around the house. there was just something about coming home and finding his lover already present, as though the boy breathed life into the walls, which, really, was exactly the case. nico’s home had been merely a living structure before jian entered his life, and the man could hardly imagine his life without him now. he waited the extra moment for the boy to catch up, their hands meeting and nico slowly lacing their fingers together, following along as they entered their bedroom - staying quiet for another long moment as he tried to find the words. part of him wanted to talk about his day, while the rest of him adamantly disagreed, knowing it was better to just stay quiet about it. “yeah.” he replied lowly, more to jian’s second question than the first, stepping over and slowly climbing into their bed along with him.          it only took a few seconds after for nico to reach out to jian, slowly gripping and tugging the boy onto his lap, securing the boy’s legs into a straddling position. the man may not have used his words too much, or in extreme detail, but physical touch was always ever present; it just felt like his preferred language, especially on nights like these. “what about you?” nico asked his lover, gaze fixed on jian’s own as both hands reached out to glide over the boy’s thighs, that chosen pair of shorts putting them so beautifully on display. the man’s fingertips dipped just underneath the fabric, pushing a little more so large hands could find the soft swells of jian’s behind, slowly gripping them with splayed fingers. nico’s head tilted up just enough to press a comforting kiss against his lover’s bottom lip, gaze still surveying his face, still concerned about the answer the boy may give. “you okay?”

     nico honestly didn’t know where he would be without ashley. nobody understood him the way ashley did, and nico had never felt his heart skip for anyone else the way it did for ashley. right from the first moment they met, the first time nico saw ashley dance, the first time their hands touched and their lips met, the late night talks and coffee dates and ashley moving in, it all felt as though it had been fate, or destiny, whatever it was called - didn’t matter. whatever it was, nico knew it applied to them, and he knew he wanted to spend the rest of his life making ashley atherton happy. of course, there were a lot of things nico needed to resolve within himself, within his family, within his relationship with ashley, before that next step could be taken - but the man knew the blonde boy in his arms was exactly where he wanted to be.          nights like tonight made it even clearer, as nico suffered through another agonizing nightmare, witnessing things he didn’t even dare speak aloud; the important part was that ashley was right there to help him through it, and it reaffirmed the fact that nico wouldn’t know what to do without him. the man could feel his breathing begin to calm as the couple lay together, ashley’s nails slowly raking over nico’s bare back, another sense of relief and reassurance that this was the reality - not the hell nico experienced in his sleep. his lips pressed against the boy’s blonde locks once more, feeling his heart warm over hearing ashley’s words in response, always inwardly turning into a puddle whenever ashley told him he loved him.           the boy’s next choice of words, however, brought an almost involuntary quiet chuckle from nico’s lips, the soft smile that accompanied it being further proof that ashley was successful in calming nico down. “you guess?” the man repeated gently, looking down a bit in order to meet his boyfriend’s gaze, bringing a hand up and carefully holding ashley’s cheek as he did so. “if it is all right... that’s my plan.” nico smiled softly, slowly grazing the pad of his thumb over the boy’s cheekbone, admiring him quietly. “thank you.” they were just two little words, but they had a lot behind them, and nico meant them with every bone in his body. “can i kiss you?” it might have seemed strange to ask permission, but in this moment, this vulnerable moment, nico wanted to. he wanted to make sure ashley was okay, too.

     it didn’t take much effort to pull finn up into his arms, wrapping the boy’s legs around nico’s waist, the older man holding him close and tasting all the sweetness of his boyfriend’s embrace. a few quiet steps down the hall and several soft kisses against his neck later, nico could already feel himself beginning to relax, all thanks to the boy who willingly obliged and landed on his back in their bed. nico had carefully placed finn there, purposely, hovering over him and letting out a soft chuckle in response to his words.        “i won’t let you burn another cake.” the man promised, his voice gentle as he spoke, leaning his arms down into the bed on both sides of finn’s body. “but murdering me?  very extreme for a sweet boy like you.” he leaned in and pressed a very slow, soft kiss against finn’s lips, letting it linger for a long moment, letting his tongue move against finn’s own. nico slowly shifted his legs in between finn’s, pressing his hips downward, feeling the boy’s body beneath his own - gradually pulling back from the kiss and trailing slow, open mouthed ones all along the side of the boy’s neck instead.           one of nico’s hands lifted and found one of finn’s, slowly lacing their fingers together, pushing the boy’s hand up and pressing it back against the blankets - holding it there as he left those heated kisses against the soft skin of finn’s neck. “i missed you.” the man breathed, dragging his lips over the arch of his boyfriend’s throat, shifting up just enough to bite at finn’s chin with his front teeth - a small, affectionate, barely there love bite. “talk to me.” nico asked of his boyfriend, wanting to hear about finn’s day, how it went, what he was thinking about, how he was feeling. sure, they were laying in bed being very intimate and close, but nico still wanted to hear. they’d been apart since early morning, nico had been through a rather exhausting work day, and finn was the one person nico’s heart felt closest to. the man cared about finn, and that included things like hearing how his day went.

     the donati mafia family had been around for years, and their wealth, reputation and skill were well known among other mafias, mobs and the criminal underground. the authorities, of course, knew about them, as well, but never had enough to put any of the family members away for life. shorter prison sentences here and there, dirty cops accepting bribes, other criminals too scared to talk - it was all the norm. so, it was no surprise that the donati family acquired a club of their own several years back, using it as an escape, a means to an end, a way to give in to their desires - and the desires of others. it was something the younger family members had to convince the older, more traditional family members to follow through with, but once they had, the money came flowing in. it was successful, not just as a business, but for the family members and their associates.      this particular night saw nico dressed in one of his nicer outfits, situated at a table with a cousin and a few family associates, just taking some time to have a few drinks and keep an eye on things. business was always done in back rooms, but keeping their presence within the main eye of the club here and there was good, too. loud music, dancing and rivers of alcohol were ever present, bright lights covering it all, and nico let his silent gaze travel around and keep watch for anything out of the ordinary. it wasn’t until their server arrived with their drinks that the older man’s gaze fixed on the boy instead, knowing he had never seen him before, knowing he must have been new as hell ( but he must have made a good impression, otherwise he wouldn’t have been hired ).      once that initial realization calmed ( no immediate need to be on the alert ), nico’s gaze continued to search the stranger’s face, slowly hooked on just how pretty the new boy was. “thank you.” the man replied, reaching out to curl his hand around the glass, but not making any attempts to actually take a drink. he was focused on something else. “what’s your name?” nico asked, leaning back in his seat, clearly giving his undivided attention to the boy in question - lifting his own free hand up and beckoning the boy closer to nico’s side of the table. the man wanted to hear him better, see him better, have him closer.