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i have this horrible gut feeling and I just cant shake it off

I miss the days, I can just go off grid and run away when I’m hurt. Take the time I need to gather myself together and then come back to deal with life again. If there was a downfall being a parent, its this, it’s the fact that YOU ARE NOT ON YOUR OWN ANYMORE, EVER! YOU NOW HAVE A CHILD THAT RELIES ON YOU FOR EVERYTHING, YOU ARE THEIR EVERYTHING. YOU HAVE TO SHOW A STRONG FRONT AND PRETEND EVERYTHING IS OKAY FOR THEM, EVEN IF YOUR WORLD IS FALLING APART. EVEN IF YOUR MENTAL HEALTH IS HANGING BY A THREAD YOU CANNOT BE SELFISH. YOU HAVE A CHILD NOW, THAT’S NOW YOUR PRIORITY.

Constantly in the middle. keep going or give up. it’s exhausting mentally and physically.

It feels wrong…

Give me a sign… I need it!

I’m tired of this bullshit. What do I do?! I need a sign!

I never thought I’ll ever be in an abusive kind of relationship. Might not be physically but verbally abusive is still abusive

Oh. My bad. Apologies for forgetting that you actually thought I was your housekeeper not partner 🙃

I asked you! I ASKED YOU! And now you’re mad at me?! It’s my fault you didn’t hear me ask you?! why did you answer then? clearly you heard me thats why you answered, cos if you didn’t you wouldn’t answer or atleast ask me again!

I honestly, honestly don’t even know what to take from that…

I’m sick and tired trying to make someone understand

It’s mother’s day so why the hell do I feel like it’s a privilege for you to treat me nicely and give me some time for myself?!

Ideally now that I have a 6 month old daughter, I would like to be married before she turns one, even an intimate civil wedding. I always said if I was to get pregnant I would like to be married before my child comes to the world but that didn't happen nor am I engaged to the father of my child. That's the ideal world, to be married before she turns one but realistically… I don't think I want to anytime soon. I'm getting multiple personalities and to be honest I dont know if it's the person I want my daughter to grew up around!