Licktoy

A Female Led Relationship has many terms associated with it like FLR, Femdom, Female Domination, Mistress slave, D/s dynamic and sometimes even BDSM.

An FLR (Female Led Relationship) is a consensual agreement between a man and woman that the woman in the relationship will lead and the man will play a supportive role. She can make the final decisions in the aspects she wishes to take control of. Her comfort, fulfillment and satisfaction are given priority in the relationship.

The above definition captures various themes in a female led relationship and thus, each word and phrase should be paid attention to.

Characteristics of a Female Led Relationship –

It is a consensual relationship.

Some people think that the woman has all the power and thus, the man is helpless. This is not the case. The FLR ends when either one withdraws their consent. The woman cannot dominate if the man does not submit, the man cannot serve if the woman does not dominate.

She will make final decisions in the aspects she wishes to take control of.

This is very important to understand. As a woman, if you are getting into a Female Led Relationship, you do not need to take control of all the aspects. Nothing could be further from the truth. It might be the case that your man is kinky and he has asked you to control certain things that are overwhelming, but you do not need to comply with all of that immediately. He might have expressed that you can control each and every thing about his life, but you need to go at your pace and you need to decide the aspects you want to control. You should only take charge of the aspects you’re comfortable taking charge of. For example, many women find it easy to begin with taking control of their sex lives. Having sex only when you want to have sex is an easy thing to do. It is made easier by the fact that men tend to comply more easily with sexual commands as compared to other commands. Another example is taking charge of household aspects. For example, she might delegate dusting and cleaning, as they are not difficult skills to learn for someone who has not performed these actions in the past and are easy to delegate. However, the point is that you should only take control of the things that you want to take control of. Do not feel pressured for any extra responsibilities.

Her comfort, fulfillment and satisfaction are given priority in the relationship.

In an FLR, the woman is the one who is in focus. Her comfort is of utmost importance. The man must strive to make her feel at ease. Since he is in a submissive and supportive role, he willingly makes efforts to make sure that the woman is feeling fulfilled. Her satisfaction is not limited to physical satisfaction but her emotional and mental satisfaction as well are equally important. For example, the man constantly reminding her that he loves her dominance, or, he loves the way she takes charge, etc. will boost her confidence and make her feel better in her role.

The man will play a supportive role.

The man in a Female Led Relationship refers to himself as the submissive, slave, servant, pet, etc. Do not get overwhelmed by these terms. For a vanilla person, these terms being used for a human might sound a little too strong. But for now, just ignore the nomenclature and understand the role. The man derives satisfaction in serving his woman. He has accepted the fact that the woman is in the lead. He will need to abide by her decisions. It does not mean that he has no say. It just means that his input would be considered while deciding but the final decision might be different from his expectations. The final decision-making would only be in terms of the aspects she had decided to take control of. Other decisions can be taken mutually or she can delegate the responsibility to her man. For example, she might decide to just have oral sex even if her man wants PIV (Penis in Vagina Sex), or, she might decide to go to a European restaurant even if her man wanted to eat Mexican, or she might decide the final itinerary of the vacation after using the research her man has done for her. In all the cases, the man accepts her final authority and plays a supportive role.

Why Female Led Relationship?

A Female Led Relationship is usually introduced by a man to his woman. An FLR can be very fulfilling for both parties in the relationship. Women are probably more emotional creatures than men. A female led relationship allows her to get more emotional fulfilment. She feels more heard in the relationship. She feels more cared for.

Since the man is in a submissive role, he prioritizes his woman and takes care of her in every situation. The man might call himself a slave, but rather he’s a gentleman. The slave term is used just because of the fact that a gentleman can disobey his woman but a slave never will.

When a man sees that he is able to keep his woman happy and satisfied, it boosts his masculine ego and makes him more confident as a partner.

An FLR can be very fulfilling emotionally. Moreover, FLR has a lot of kinks to play with such as tease and denial, domestic discipline, chastity, etc, which adds to the fun and increases physical satisfaction as well.

Thus, an FLR can lead to improved intimacy, reduced conflicts, and increased satisfaction.

Misconceptions in a Female Led Relationship?

Below are some of the misconceptions in a Female Led Relationship.

She has to make the decision regarding everything.

She has to micro-manage everything.

He is caged, denied and spanked all the time.

The man is beta and worthless, and has no self-respect.

The woman should have multiple partners.

The woman is strict and a bitch 24/7.

The woman has to dress in sexy clothes and shout orders.

None of this (and any related scenarios that you can think of) has to be true. A female led relationship is all about her happiness and satisfaction. Thus, whatever she feels fit would be implemented with the man’s consent.

How to start and FLR?

Short answer – Start slow.

Discuss the interests and boundaries with each other. Write a list of fantasies for your partner. Get to know more about their expectations.

Grow slowly. Ask for feedback. Most importantly, communicate! I cannot stress enough.

COMMUNICATE!

You cannot grow if you do not talk. Do not assume expectations or reactions in your head. If you both had a spanking session, do not assume that you both will be fine after some time. The woman can experience “Dom Drop” or the man can experience “Sub Drop”.

Or, the man might be more willing to jump into the kinks while the woman might still be adjusting to the dynamic. The man can feel disappointed in this case due to the slow pace. He should communicate his expectations and the woman should communicate her hesitations in this case.

Just talk about everything.

Moreover, when getting started, the man should not push the woman to dominate more. He should let her grow at her pace. He should always be supportive and should not try to manipulate her into dominating more or incorporating certain kinks and fetishes.

The woman can start with mini tasks such as “get me a glass of water” or “pick me up at 7” or “take out my heels” and then slowly extend to “Do the dishes” or “Clean the washroom” or “You aren’t going out with the boys, you’re staying home with me”. It is all about getting into the comfort zone.

Conclusion?

Remember, a Female Led Relationship is about empowering the woman. She should be comfortable in being herself. The man should not try to change her but he should embrace her for who she is.

An FLR focuses on her pleasure but it does not mean that his pleasure holds no importance. It is just that her pleasure is prioritized over his.

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