I want someone to melt my stress by pinning me down and teasing the shit out of me. Not only is that frustrating in general, but I'm trapped in my mom's house in another state with zero ability to do something about it. 😂

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@lexanlexout
I want someone to melt my stress by pinning me down and teasing the shit out of me. Not only is that frustrating in general, but I'm trapped in my mom's house in another state with zero ability to do something about it. 😂

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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Miiiight reinvent my tumblr but I haven't yet decided if I want to start a new one or start over on this existing one.
In other news, if I have any long-time followers left on here: I'm actually doing well. Life is different. Not great, but there's a "yet" there because it will be.
I don't know. Is passive suicidality worth going back on meds? I wouldn't say I'm in a bad place, but clearly I'm not in a good place either. But it's just a rough period, there's so much up in the air, I know it will get better.
At the end of the day, I just can't know if it will all be worth it.
There are so many things I can’t articulate right now. Even if I could I don’t know who to turn to because there are no easy solutions, and the last thing I want right now is bare sympathy. I want action, I want progress, I want ease of mind, I want things that seem entirely unattainable and I’m spiraling again.
IMPORTANT Please be careful posting anything personal and tagging it “don’t reblog” or “do not reblog” or any variation. Apparently this blog tracks that tag and will intentionally reblog your post. They reblogged a personal one of mine and I’m very uncomfortable; please watch what you tag.
Tumblr is literally a public blog website, not your personal diary. If you don’t want somebody reblogging your posts then maybe don’t post them or private your blog.
If you really don’t want people reblogging your public posts, just post them privately.
Alternatively, make a password protected sideblog to put them on.
This is a public website. If you don’t want people interacting with something, don’t give them the option to
It’s still shitty of him to do that, but I agree. There are other social media platforms that allow you to post stuff without being able to share it. Use those instead or suck it up.
Finally someone agrees with me. How can you consciously post something personal you don’t want shared on a website that runs on reblogs? Seriously?
I posted this over four years ago why are y’all messed up over past me being upset? It’s really fucking comical seeing so many people get themselves into a tizzy when I forgot I even made this post
four.
years.
ago.
Life goes on. I don’t care now about people seeing a picture of my ass (which was the original post I referenced) as I did back then. I don’t regret warning others about this though. Calm your shit hahaha.

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Everything is wrongwrongwrong
I’m just tired. Always tired.
I’m not okay. There’s no winning.
It’s happening again
oh :/

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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I will say though, that’s the first time someone has acknowledged to my face that they noticed back then how drastic I looked. It’s very odd to me how different my perception of myself was versus others’, that I didn’t and still don’t see what other people see when they look at me.
“I’m lazy and I’d rather take the easy way out than to put in the work and make my body what I want it to be the healthy way.”
“I don’t think you’re lazy. It takes a lot of effort to not eat. I saw you back then. There’s nothing lazy about that.”
it was easier
ya know? it was easier
when i was a shell.
I have so much to lose. I am utterly in love with you and I’m broken, how can you even begin to hold the pieces?
I miss you. So much.

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
the urge to kill myself is stronger than ever lately and i can’t afford to go into inpatient until I get insurance again so I’m straddling a very thin rope rn and waiting for it to break
I don’t think I’ll be here much longer.