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"She would've lingered in his thoughts from time to time, like a faint ache that came and went. Maybe he'd remember her when someone brewed him tea that tasted like burnt wood, or when someone managed to laugh at his crude humor, or when he'd see the deep golden hue of the crepuscular rays peeking through the windows..."
- excerpt from "The Night Does Not Belong to God" (the Telomeres Series - story ii)
Levi who’s constantly checking behind him on expeditions to make sure you haven’t been swiped up by a titan. Yes, It’s special treatment, and he’ll deny it when asked about it. He’s too used to losing people, so keeping an eye on you is the least he can do for himself. No, it’s not for you, it’s for his own comfort.
Levi who is a complete dick. An asshole with no apparent heart. But you know there's something deeper, you’re aware of his glances. You’re aware you’re held to higher standards than others, you know he holds you closer to his heart than others.
Levi who during expedition briefings will make sure you don’t get sent to a death sentence. Levi knows of the sacrifices the scouts have to make but he’s not willing to have you become one. Anytime your name has even gotten brung up he’s made sure to have someone else take that place, he’d never tell you because he knows you’d feel immense guilt.
Levi who goes so much harder on you during training. When training with the rest of the scouts he’s much harsher on you because he “believes” you’re not strong enough, when in reality he’s just scared.
Levi who doesn’t know whether to pull you closer or push you away after Erwin’s death. So he does both. It’s both very confusing and hurtful, one second it’s like he wants you and the next he wants nothing to do with you. But you know he’s just scared.
Levi who after having a heart to heart with Hange one night decides to be selfish. You finally get the conversation you’ve been waiting for. The one you’ve been begging him for. And after many tears, you finally get to fall asleep in his arms. He’s still scared of losing you, but at least he’s “happy” as happy as one can be given the situation.
Levi who is in awe when you all get to Marley. He’s never seen your face so vibrant and cheerful, arms looped with Sasha’s as she drags you around with her. Hange laughs at the small smile on his face, you can only smile back at him.
Levi who knows that when this is over you’re the person he wants to marry. He knows he wants to spend his life with you, after losing so many people he’s loved. He Knows you could live a peaceful life together if this ever ended. Which is his selfish reasoning for wanting this to all be over. Something he covers with “wanting world suffering to end”. Levi knows he wants you. Even if it’s not always voiced.
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Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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When friends meet them for the first time, everyone assumes the golden retriever fell first. They're wrong.
The golden retriever is openly affectionate and fearless. Until someone hurts the black cat. Then the sunshine turns uncharacteristically serious.
The black cat insists they don’t like people. The golden retriever gently reminds them, “You like me.” The black cat pretends this is an exception, not a rule.
The golden retriever gives compliments freely and often. The black cat gives exactly one sincere compliment, and it means everything.
The black cat says something devastatingly romantic by accident and spends the next hour pretending it wasn’t that deep.
The golden retriever shows love by doing everything together. The black cat shows love by choosing to sit near them when they could sit anywhere else.
The black cat ususally acts annoyed when the golden retriever holds their hand. But they aren't fooling anyone, especially not their partner.
The golden retriever has quite a lot of friends, while the black cat is more of a loner and has a low social battery. As a couple the black cat is willing to hang out with their partner's friends from time to time and the golden retriever makes sure to always check in with their partner to see if it's time to go home together.
People think that the black cat is not a very talkative person. The golden retriever loves to know that when it's just the two of them the black cat's talking can't be stopped.
Usually the golden retriever is the caretaker of the couple. But when they get sick the black cat steps up and is a surprisingly good nurse.
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Angel in the House of Ill Repute | E | 3.9k | Ongoing | Attack on Titan | Rivetra | Historical AU | Brothels
1885: After she is humiliated by the untimely death of her cheating husband, Petra begrudgingly turns to Levi Ackerman for help, but he ends up tossing her right into the belly of the beast.
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Someday love will find you- Season 4 and the Stancy Narrative part 1.
Alright... hold onto your seats because this is gonna be a long ride... and that's with it being broken into multiple parts >_<
It is time for the Season 4 deep dive analysis of my personal favorite, and the second* greatest ship in Stranger Things, STANCY!!! (*second greatest only because Lumax is the true OTP of the show an opinion on which I will take no notes or criticism.)
So thus far we have had- Season 1. Stancy is introduced. Season 2. Stancy is challenged/torn apart but still remains a narrative focal point Season 3. Stancy has gone through intense personal growth while moving in a parallel direction. Now we come to Season 4- our two heroes are finally reunited and seeing each other through a new, more mature point of view and finding that maybe 'some flames should never have been snuffed out'.
I mean come on- look at just the basic outline of their love story so far, it's literally a Jane Austen novel! But sure a J*ncy proposal is going to fix 3 seasons of bad communication and stagnation.
Anyways.
Because this one makes the last two of my essays seem tame in comparison, I will be putting the analysis itself under the cut. Also this analysis will be talking more about Jonathan and J*ncy since we are in hard core love triangle mode.
We pick up season 4 about to start spring break of 86. Once again our intrepid team of nerds and misfits are hoping that maybe this time it really is their chance to move away from the traumas of the past and live out their best lives, but unlike season 3 we can see that our crew doesn't trust that it is over. The last few years have taken a heavy toll and the losses suffered have left some heavy scars.
The Byers + El have left Hawkins entirely hoping to escape the painful memories of the past, Nancy is putting her hope for the future into her college dreams of Emerson, and the party is entering a whole new traumatic experience- high school.
This season pulls no punches, and this is made obvious from the first cold open where we see our first look at the massacre at Hawkins lab. This is different from what we have experienced before in Stranger Things not because we are unfamiliar with tragic death (RIP Barb, Bob, Alexi, etc), but because unlike before this feels targeted, more human. This time we are not just exploring the monsters that we fear, but the ones that we create.
This season also pulls no punches when it comes to pushing the emotional beats to the forefront.
This is established in El's first monologue- her letter back to Mike.
This is a great narrative choice as El does not have the life experience or the social skills to pick up on the obvious signs of impending conflict that are established in this first introduction. We see it as viewers when El comments to Mike that she suspects that Will has feelings for someone that he is keeping hidden, probably a girl. (Now while I have thus far avoided going into the Byler side of things in these analysis because that is a whole other kettle of fish as an audience by this point it has become pretty clear that Will has feelings for Mike.) So we have now set up El as a clearly unreliable narrator. She isn't able to see the clues that the narrative is setting down. She can identify that there is an issue, but is very off base as to where that conflict is going.
This is important because as she says her next line: "he has been acting... weird." We immediately make a hard cut to Jonathan's room- specifically to a picture of him and Nancy. In fact the only picture of the two of them in the room, an interesting contrast to El's numerous photos of Mike, but that could just be a matter of taste. However the narrative continues its subtle judgement as El proceeds to describe that Jonathan is also acting weird which she chalks up to his worries about his college acceptance letter and hopes that he and Nancy will be able to go to college together.
But we have just seen that El cannot see the nuance. Just like she cannot see the full picture of what is going on with Will, she cannot see the full picture of what is happening with Jonathan, and I don't just mean his new decent into Stonerdom. He isn't worried about an acceptance letter than he knows will never come. He is worried about having to be honest with Nancy.
This takes us to the next big clue- Jonathan's car. El comments that she doesn't know how Jonathan will even get to college as he hasn't taken any steps towards fixing his car. At this point we cut to a shot of the car which has clearly been neglected for a while- just like his relationship with Nancy. He doesn't need to fix the car because he has no intention of going to Emerson. But what is worse is that he isn't communicating that to anyone. A theme that is mirrored in El's lies to Mike about the problems that she is having in school.
Moving on to Steve and Robin. Steve has got his groove back- his self acceptance allowing his natural charm and charisma to once again prevail only without the baggage of high school popularity. But while he has no problems attracting dates, he knows that he has no real connection with any of these people past sexual attraction, and he knows that that isn't what he wants anymore. He is ready to move into the future and chase his dream of true love. Robin meanwhile has found someone with whom she feels she has a real genuine connection to, but is scared to take the leap of opening up to Vickie. Here we see the results of Steve's growth as he gives Robin genuinely good support and advice. This is such a contrast from his advice to Dustin back in season 2.
We cut back to Jonathan and we learn that he and Nancy will not be seeing each other over Spring break as Nancy has to work.
At first this seems like a sign that the tension between them is just a chance to explore difficulties that come from long distance relationships, but very quickly we see that once again we are not going to retreat into the safety of the obvious. Their relationship issues from last season were not just a bump in the road from a one time misunderstanding, they were part of a much bigger problem.
We literally hear a paper guillotine cutter signal the transition change to Nancy's point of view for the first time this season. Nancy's agitation about being confronted about Jonathan's absence makes it abundantly clear that she is aware but unwilling to be honest about her feelings about the state of her relationship problems. Problems that Fred, with his obvious crush on Nancy, is more than happy to gleefully point out. Fred is an antagonistic observer pointing out the truth that the relationship is failing enough that even he can see it, and that the lack of communication and excuses make no sense. But then we cut back to Argyle. Argyle is an ally to the J*ncy relationship and especially to Jonathan, but even this supportive point of view is pointing out the same issues that Fred is spelling out to Nancy.
Now of course both Jonathan and Nancy retreat back into denial, instead acting like everything is fine when it clearly isn't and listing off what they love about the other person. But the endorsements themselves ring hollow. Nancy talks about loving the good loving person that Jonathan is, especially in regards to his family, but nothing that she says about him relates back to how he is as a boyfriend or what he gives to her in the relationship. Jonathan meanwhile is praising Nancy for her independence and tenacity, something that he has never allowed himself to indulge in, but while he may love that about Nancy it is the very trait that has repeatedly caused issues between them because he is unwilling and unable to meet her at her level. In fact he is openly hostile to her when these very traits threaten his security. And again, there is no mention of what he loves about being WITH Nancy. The back and forth cuts between them do not make this scene seem sincere, it instead reads as rehearsed. This is the lie they tell themselves because neither one is willing to call out the obvious. They aren't communicating, they aren't building any connection. They are both hiding. They are still guilty of the very same sins and insecurities that Murray called them out on in season 2. The issues that were supposed to be magically solved by them choosing each other and uniting over their shared trauma.
Trust issues- Jonathan is refusing to communicate with Nancy because he doesn't trust her with the truth. This will become even more explicit later when he explains his motivations to Argyle.
You, your harder to read. Probably, like everyone, afraid of what would happen if you accepted yourself for who you really are and retreated back to the safety of... name?- this is exactly what Nancy is doing. She knows she is unhappy with her relationship. She knows she wants and quite frankly deserves more. And while Murray was right and she was harder to read- (he assumed as Jonathan did in season 1 that her hang ups were external and not internal and much more focused on her guilt)- she is also retreating to the safety of... name... Jonathan. With Jonathan she doesn't have to communicate. They don't push each other. But Nancy has grown since season 2, and she has grown past this surface level safety. And yet here she is retreating into it.
(Also since I forgot to mention this in my season 2 analysis even back then Nancy's hesitation to say that she loves Steve is literally the same as Mike's hesitations in the beginning of season 4 when confronted by El. And regardless of if you think Mike should ultimately end up with El or Will or Alone questioning his life choices I think it is true that he DOES love El be it romantically or familiarly and just has issues due to his parents unhappy situation much like Nancy).
The exchange ends with both parties claiming in unison that everything is "Perfect". But it is obvious that they are fooling no one. Not Argyle, not Fred, not themselves, and not the audience. This scene has been framed to make it clear that their communication has collapsed and their bond is strained. Fred even punctuates the scene by stating that he is still rooting for his Alt. And before any of you come for me saying- but Fred's Alt is that the Tigers lose and they win the game! Please go back and read what the text is:
Tigers Devoured- Blood and Tears Shed. This is literally telling us what is coming with Vecna. The statement is a commentary on the relationship. The article is a giant forshadowing of what is coming in the plot where Vecna literally devours the life essence of 4 students as blood and tears are shed.
Anyways I could go into even more depth about this particular exchange but as I have already done so in a previous post and this particular essay is about understanding the narrative voice so let's keep going.
Our next subtle narrative point happens at the Tiger's game with the introduction of Tone-deaf Tammy. This is an important because we get to see Robin's reaction to seeing her first "the one" vs. Steve and Nancy's reunion later in the show. Robin has no attachment to Tammy and in fact is able to laugh about her terrible Muppet singing with Steve, this moment of self reflection and growth triggering a moment of true connection with Vickie. The narrative is showing us the different between a real connection and infatuation, and giving Robin that context as well.
The next Stancy important scene we see is Steve and Robin back at the video store where Robin is grappling with her anxiety about Vickie. She had a genuine moment with the girl of her dreams but now doesn't know how to proceed. She thinks that her pursuit of Vickie is destined for failure and says that she is hopeless, to which Steve replies- 'we both are,' leaning on the wall next to her. Robin then proceeds to joke with Steve about how they should combine, since he can go on a million dates and she knows what she wants, to which Steve gives a fairly non committal acknowledgement before they commiserate together that 'alone, we suck'.
Yet once again, the narrative is telling us something more subtle than the surface conversation.
Both Steve and Robin are actually in the same place- back against the wall, hopeless, and feeling that the world doesn't want them to succeed in love. They both know what they want, they have both found the girl of their dreams, but neither believes they can have that. It is hopeless. And when they have tried to get through life alone, it has sucked.
But we know that they aren't alone anymore. They have each other. They are part of a bigger team. And the strength and confidence that comes from that- from forming those healthy bonds and connections- is what will help carry them into a brighter future. A future where their dreams aren't hopeless but are a real attainable possibility. They just have to not give up.
Robin pulls out a copy of Dr. Zhivago for them to watch- a story of doomed love, (Yes it is, but no real deeper parallels here Russian lit is a whole other level of pathos) but are interrupted by the report of Chrissy's murder. Doomed love has been put on hold.
After checking in with the basketball team, we cut over to Nancy who is having her own struggles with the news. References to Barb bring her grief and trauma to the surface and push her need to figure out what is happening and put a stop to it. Meanwhile Dustin along with Max, recruits Steve and Robin to help him clear Eddie's name.
Just like in Season three we now get to see the two parallel investigations, one following Nancy and Fred, the other Dustin Steve and company with both teams putting together vital information on what they are going to be up against. But there is a big difference. Nancy has a stand in this time. Something that is immediately pointed out.
Fred wants to know what Nancy and Jonathan would do to which Nancy quickly calls out that he is not Jonathan.
"Obviously not. I am here, present and accounted for."
This is a direct hit for Nancy. Jonathan is not here to help her with this investigation. He isn't even here in the state. Not only that, but this isn't the first time that he wasn't here. We know because we saw it in season 3, where just like now, Jonathan bailed on her investigation when things got too difficult and when she didn't have enough 'proof'. History is repeating itself for Nancy, only this time it isn't just a problem, its a pattern. And for the first time she loses her composure. She admits to Fred that she is upset with Jonathan's absence and that she knows that something is wrong with him that he isn't telling her. We learn that Fred is marked by Vecna- once again Nancy is on the right track and about to be put in the thick of it. Then cut to-
Jonathan and Argyle at the scrap yard.
Jonathan is likewise upset that Nancy isn't here in California. Part of him was expecting her to come out to see him instead of working. (Even though he really doesn't have any obligations to be home other than his self imposed insistence that he needs to be home for Will. But Will is old enough to take care of himself, Joyce works from home, and when these plans were made there was no immediate danger for them in CA and the idea of going to Russian wasn't even on the radar. But maybe I am being mean.) Jonathan has gotten used to Nancy carrying the emotional burden of their relationship and has even come to expect that. He says that he admires her ambition but he doesn't understand it. But then he confesses that while part of him was annoyed, a bigger part of him was relieved, because once again, the burden of connection and accountability has been taken off his shoulders. Her not being here means that he doesn't have to confess the truth- that he has been lying and hiding things from her. And not just recently either but for months. Long enough for him to submit (or not submit) college applications and get replies from them. Not only that, but he is playing out a slow motion break-up (one that he is clearly hoping she will pull the trigger on) because he has convinced himself that she would give up her dreams to come out to CA for him. This is such a fundamental misunderstanding of who Nancy is that it is staggering. But when you take a deep breath and take a step back to look at this it is enlightening on a whole other level.
Jonathan sees Nancy as the person who takes care of him- they have this deep trauma bond that he has never had to really have open conversations with her about she just understands him and loves him. He sees her filling the role for him that he plays for Will. This is why he believes that she would give up her dreams for him- because that is what he is doing for Will. This is also why he simultaneously fears this because he has become a stand in for his father for Will.
But this is so unhealthy from every possible angle. He is not his father. For as much as I think this scene more than anything is the first death knell for J*ncy Lonnie is a piece of work on a whole other level. But Jonathan struggles to internalize that because he has never had the chance to actually prioritize and focus on himself. The most he is willing to do for himself is indulge in escapism- both in how he is in his relationship and in his overindulgence in weed. (I say overindulgence based on Will's reaction throughout this season.) But when the only person whom Jonathan is willing to be honest with is Argyle- who to his credit is doing his best to give good advice and is calling out Jonathan on how truly asinine his behavior is- he is setting himself up for failure. He is still refusing to make real connections.
Meanwhile back in Hawkins Stancy Investigations is meeting with a good amount of success, with Nancy getting Mr. Munson to open up to her about Victor Creel and Team Scoops (because they will always been that to me) tracking down Reefer Rick and subsequently Eddie.
Sadly for Fred, Vecna strikes again and the plot thickens.
(On the bright side El decks Angela in the face with a roller skate so small victories.)
Speaking of victories- We have finally arrived! The true return of Stancy!
With Fred's death we get our first meet up between our two romantic leads, and if this isn't a stark contrast to what we have seen before I don't know what is.
Nancy is emotionally in the worst place she could be, with the death of someone who came out to the trailer park with her. She is alone, facing down the scrutiny of people who are far less equipped to deal with any of this that she is but who also have more power than she does, exhausted... when suddenly she sees a familiar BMW.
For the first time in two seasons Nancy doesn't have to carry this alone. Someone else is there not just to follow along but to help. A whole team who are just as invested as she is in getting to the bottom of things. Her relief at there arrival is palpable.
The gang discuss theories and we get to see how well they all work as a unit with everyone having unique contributions that help unravel the mystery. Nancy spearheads the investigation, pointing out the pieces that are missing, the lack of connections between the victims. Dustin having the best grasp on the supernatural elements at play. Robin- always one of the most intellectual of the group- makes the intuitive leap that they should be looking at this like a serial killer who didn't choose either victim at random but likely stalked his prey. Steve- the one who observes the obvious that no one else is noticing- points out that this is the sort of thing that you would tell someone about. And Max makes the final practical deduction that this is the sort of thing you wouldn't tell just anyone, but you might tell your shrink. It is a really beautiful moment that showcases how far all of these characters have grown both in their skill and in their confidence.
They head off to go see Miss Kelly but Nancy hesitates. She has another lead to follow, a shot in the dark that isn't worth mentioning. You can see the negative effect that her investigations with Jonathan last year had on her. She assumes that she needs to act on her own until she can prove she has something of substance to offer.
And here is our second Stancy triumph. Steve is horrified of the idea of her doing this on her own, but not because he thinks its a bad plan, not because she doesn't have 'proof' the way everyone else has demanded of her in the past. No, he just cares that she doesn't have support. He trusts her instincts and her plans, he just don't want to risk her being on her own in case all hell breaks loose. He knows the kinds of danger that Nancy keeps finding herself in and he wants to make sure she is as safe as possible. (And given that all of them have almost died a million times I think he has a pretty good leg to stand on.)
You can see how much this clearly means to Nancy. She doesn't argue with him, she doesn't girlboss out and tell him 'I don't need anyone.' She is grateful, because Steve isn't looking to hold her back, he is looking to lift her up. She has a lead to chase and he is going to help her do it. It is the kind of support that she hasn't gotten from anyone except her mother up to this point. It is certainly a contrast to how Jonathan was in season 3 where when he did join her it was reluctantly until he baled on her completely.
Of course Steve is still Steve and did not really think through the logistics of this plan as he and Nancy are the only qualified drivers. Ultimately Robin goes with Nancy and Steve once again is in charge of the kids. But while Steve grumbles about this a little, ultimately he doesn't object. His concerns have been met and he trusts both of the girls.
Having Stancy split up also means narratively that we get a chance to confront them both about what we just saw.
Dustin confronts Steve about his now blatantly obvious feelings for Nancy. For people who have not been paying attention they might say that this is the show trying to force feelings back onto Steve, after 'all this time.' But the truth is that this is the simply first time Dustin has really seen Steve and Nancy together since their break up. We the audience know that the last time they were together Steve rammed into another car at 60 mph for her so we know that this is NOT out of character for Steve.
Dustin, and through him the narrative, is now spelling out what was hinted at in season three and is now clear as day in season four, Steve is still in love with Nancy and always has been. His half hearted protests that she is just a friend are clearly just that.
Meanwhile Robin is sussing out Nancy's feelings. Like Dustin, this is her first real chance to get a read on the entire Stancy dynamic since they were a couple (which she was only a distant observer to in the first place.)
However Robin is also much more insightful that Dustin and catches on very quickly that there is a lot to unpack. Nancy finds herself getting irritated with Robins quirks and her own lack of progress which leads to her lashing out. She mischaracterizes Robin's neurodivergence as irritation at the thus far fruitless search. This brings her frustration and jealousy to the forefront. She is on the verge of having to admit defeat in front of what she believes is Steve's new girlfriend/crush/whatever the hell Robin is right after Steve was the first person to show her some actual support and encouragement and she is clearly unhappy about the entire situation.
Robin who while not good a social cues is very intuitive picks up on this and tries to smooth things over, letting Nancy know that there is nothing between her and Steve. Robin points out that she hadn't realized that this could be a potential source of tension between the two of them what with Nancy and Jonathan being the 'power couple,' to which Nancy can't fully hide her frustration even though she lies and says there is no problems or tension. We know she is lying because A. it is only slightly less obvious than Steve's denials to Dustin, and two the narrative tells us as much. The narrative always rewards characters when they are the ones making connections and being authentic which in this case is Robin not Nancy. And while Nancy fails in her search Robin- the one trying to build a connection through open communication- is the one who finds the answers. They uncover another piece of the Creel murder puzzle and head off to reunite with Steve who is helping the children commit petty larceny.
That is part one my friends and fellow Stancys hopefully you are enjoying this deep dive as much as I am. (Even if it is totally me procrastinating being stuck on a specific section in my fanfic) I will be back soon with part 2 as I am quite determined to get all of my deep dives out before volume 2 drops on Christmas!
Love you all and feel free to drop a reply or a comment in the inbox if you want to chat about anything in specific! I always love talking with my fellow fans
husband!levi who you hear shouting from the bedroom at ten in the morning, demanding you come to his rescue right at that moment. it sounded so urgent you didn't even think twice to wash your onion smelling hands, rushing to the bedroom where you see your shirtless husband, lying sideways on the bed with the baby gripping the hair in his underarm. levi lets out quick and sharp puffs of breath, whimpering as he thumbs at the baby's fingers, trying to loosen their grip. you burst out laughing, tears quickly welling at the side of your eyes.
"woman– fuck, HELP ME!"
"the wrist, levi," you say in between laughter, "gently bend the wrist forward."
he immediately does as he's told and the baby lets go in an instant. levi lets out a sigh of relief before glaring at you, as though bringing a beautiful baby with a grip of a thousand vices into this world was all your doing and wasn't a joint effort.
"you were supposed to help!" he throws a pillow at you, which you barely dodge.
still laughing, you answer, "it's a reminder that you're supposed be shirtless just in front of mommy. and that it's time to shave."
Mr. Ackerman Stan @leviral - Tumblr Blog | Tumlook