Let's Anon

Sometimes the heavy metal bar you're in on your last night in your adopted hometown plays "Shipping Up to Boston" and you're forced to confront the fact you're not even close to ready to go back.

I'm not qualified to be a bartender! I can't make anything more complicated than a bottle of shitty whiskey in a backpack!

there are just so many reasons to turn down in Madrid right now

Him: "Well, you know, we just had to come to Burgos because El Cid is buried here and she likes him." Her: "He's my patron saint. I just really admire how he followed his heart and liberated Spain from the Moors."

The number of first communion photo shoots I have accidentally been a part of is astounding

Just got proposed to by what I can only describe as a thirteen year old boy on a sugar high. He ran in front of my bike so I had to stop, then grabbed the handlebars and got on one knee while trying to give me a bunch of flowers. Sorry, buddy, I just don't think it's going to work out.

I mean, I feel bad for the Spanish goalie and all, but he should have seen it coming. The Netherlands' team was way hotter.