these little town blues are melting away

    elle nodded, snuggling closer and resting her cheek to brooke’s shoulder gently. “I know.” she murmured, squeeze brooke’s fingers gently and wiping her tears away. “I’m - a little extra sensitive ‘cause the anniversary’s coming up, so.” she smiled gently, wrapping her other arm around brooke and hugging her tightly.

     what brooke wanted to say was that she adored her, that she could make it better if she admitted that and they could hold hand and kiss and elle would never feel alone again and brooke would see sure of it. but instead she just pushed closer, wanting to be near the person that she was fighting feelings for so desperately. a battle she was sure to lose.

    brooke’s words gave elle pause, and she glanced up, furrowing her brows. biting the inside of her lip, she watched brooke for a long moment.

        “Are - are you sure? It’s not - I mean it’s not pretty or anything. I puke and cry a lot and other than that I’m pretty like.. Numb.”

    it took a good half hour, but elle finally calmed herself down. the chilly december air felt good against her hot cheeks, and she exhaled slowly, resting her forehead against the cold metal bars of the fire escape. shaking herself, she crawled back in through the window carefully, shutting the window behind her.

              it was late and the room was warm so she ended up falling asleep, which she had not wanted to - since she always woke with a headache when she fell asleep crying. but when she woke, in bed wasn’t a headache but a tiny blonde. she rubbed her eyes a little and turned to face her ❛I’m so sorry.❜she whispered, bringing elles small hand to her lips and kissing her fingers.

    elle nodded, snuggling closer and resting her cheek to brooke’s shoulder gently. “I know.” she murmured, squeeze brooke’s fingers gently and wiping her tears away. “I’m - a little extra sensitive ‘cause the anniversary’s coming up, so.” she smiled gently, wrapping her other arm around brooke and hugging her tightly.

    her heart broke as she stepped back, but she stood her ground, fingers curling tightly into the sides of her sweater. 

        “I kn- I j- I c-” 

    elle covered her face, sucking in an unsteady breath. closing her eyes was proving to be worse, though, as images from that night flooded her brain - her blood-stained prom dress, the lamp she’d knocked over, the door to the hotel room left ajar after he left. her eyes flew open, wider than they had been before, and she nearly stumbled backwards into the couch. 

        “i can’t breathe, i just - i need some air-” 

     brooke didn’t want to push. she should have googled this - how to be good to someone with issues like this, maybe read a buzzfeed article. instead she as useless.  standing in an empty living room and wanting to beg elle to forgive her and be with her forever.

    it took a good half hour, but elle finally calmed herself down. the chilly december air felt good against her hot cheeks, and she exhaled slowly, resting her forehead against the cold metal bars of the fire escape. shaking herself, she crawled back in through the window carefully, shutting the window behind her.