___ as dicks.

‘  things have already gone wrong and we haven’t started yet.  ’

‘  bit of a cluster fuck at the front door.  ’

‘  we’re all gonna dress in yellow.  ’

‘  helicopters hate trees. it’s like their natural enemy.  ’

‘  you punched my face with pills in my mouth.  ’

‘  what are you doing, man? you’re doing something sick over there. ’

‘  first thing’s first, you guys need outfits.  ’

‘  he shoots way better drunk.  ’

‘  my best friends are all dead and i’m broke  ’

‘  last ditch effort, i’m gonna blow something up.  ’

‘  if we try to coordinate matching clothes again, we’ll be here for the rest of our fucking lives.  ’

‘  i could die for realsies.  ’

‘  i can’t get out, i’m trapped. you got the child locks on.  ’

‘  the heist was shit, all the money ended up at the bottom of the ocean.  ’

‘  i’m in bumfuck county.  ’

‘  plan A is alcohol.  ’

‘  i have the entire fucking police force up my asshole.  ’

‘  you hit him THAT hard, you killed him in one shot? ’

‘  alright well, thanks for fucking me over.  ’

‘  you’ll know when the plan is happening.  ’

‘  i KNEW he was doing something sick, i could HEAR it.  ’

‘  french fries will not fix this problem.  ’

‘  i think your gps is becoming self aware.  ’

‘  did you set your car on fire while driving it?  ’

‘  there’s definitely people getting away, two people just ran out of the bar, guys.  ’

‘  i blazed so hard my mask fell off.  ’

‘  this is why it’s so hard to trust you!  ’

‘  your knowledge of the future is scary.  ’

‘  you ripped the door off the armored car.  ’

‘  i look like a young santa.  ’

‘  team support-group over there, sucking a dick.  ’

‘  i punched you, i’m sorry.  ’

‘  ha-ha! you thought i was one of you but i’m not!  ’

‘  you were choking on blood for some time there.  ’

‘  he’s got the machine gun, he just can’t afford the bullets.  ’

‘  i’ve endeared myself to the locals. i am one of them.  ’

‘  i didn’t plan another fucking shopping spree. still, here it is.  ’

‘  just minding my own business, just trying to catch up to your cherrypicker.  ’

‘  you say that like you think we aren’t gonna get killed.  ’

‘  shouldn’t judge someone’s whole life on one time they crawled under a bed.  ’

‘  i don’t know, i just don’t want people to die.  ’

‘  we might get a rat coming out of someone’s face, but i’ve seen that before.  ’

‘  he’s gonna take a knife for you.  ’

‘  the internet’s about to judge you.  ’

‘  everything’s a bear trap if the bear’s dumb enough.  ’

‘  teamwork, i heard, makes the dream work.  ’

‘  i got so scared, i couldn’t breathe.  ’

‘  there’s gonna be a monster that’s just gonna smush someone’s head.  ’

‘  and three kids, in this economy?  ’

‘  he did like a choreographed dance. he’s the killer.  ’

‘  oh my god, you assholes are right.  ’

‘  maybe the killer will just kill her BECAUSE she’s annoying.  ’

‘  is there shit in the barn? can i sleep in there, is there a bed?  ’

‘  this is really scary, i’m gonna just call an uber, this is too much.  ’

‘  by the way, there’s a small bear in the house.  ’

‘  i’m gonna give you a hickey.  ’

‘  i wanna see him eat this god damn cigar.  ’

‘  god damn it, i don’t want this girl to die.  ’ 

‘  why do i feel that squirrel's in league with the killer and we just let him live?  ’

‘  this is some starbucks shit.  ’

‘  i’m just gonna hit anyone that i see with my hands.  ’

‘  we’re so right about this, i’m sexually aroused.  ’

‘  it sounded like a really far away dolphin.  ’

‘  you need to dry your clothes or you’re going to be sick.  ’

‘  i’m having a moment right now.  ’

‘  i care so much for these kids!  ’

‘  thank god, somebody kissed someone.  ’

‘  i want that love story.  ’

‘  don’t be fucking casual about that!  ’

‘  if that skeleton fucking comes to life and chases us down this hall, i’m gonna walk out of this room.  ’

‘  it’s scary. and i need it in my life.  ’

‘  please be a dick pic, please be a dick pic.  ’

‘  you were gonna sucker punch a wolf?  ’

‘  i think we’re looking at a fucking snow monster.  ’

‘  i’m literally speechless, by the way.  ’

‘  can we at least just kiss, or something? before it’s too late.  ’

‘  i would’ve shot him in the damn face.  ’

‘  slip it a little tongue.  ’

‘  that looks like the photo of someone who’ll become a wendigo.  ’

‘  i’m gonna hide in the closet.  ’

‘  i hold my flashlight with one hand and cover my dick with the other.  ’

‘  okay, well you got fucking killed.  ’

‘  alright so we gotta find the secret headquarters of the ghost.  ’

‘  god, my heart can’t take this.  ’

‘  fuck, i got goosebumps.  ’

‘  scoot around her. put your back to the wall.  ’ 

‘  stand up to the ghosts and say YOU’RE NOT REAL!  ’

‘  don’t go in there, it’s a trick!  ’

‘  oh it was just a dream.  ’

‘  they’re like raptors.  ’

‘  they’re raving in here.  ’

‘  what? it’s a new house, it creaks.  ’

‘  nice try, ghost.  ’

‘  i was clenching so hard.  ’

‘  you don’t leave this house without a blowjob.  ’

‘  just karate chop them.  ’

‘  why are we going back into this hell room?  ’

‘  sex with women is like running a race that doesn’t have a finish line.  ’

‘  scat! scat, demon!  ’

‘  why are there so many clocks on the wall?  ’

‘  run in there and tell him to clean up his act.  ’

‘  get away from the door, she might open it!  ’

‘  yup, this is our life now.  ’

‘  yes, it’s a portal to hell.  ’

‘  is my hair already getting all fucked up?  ’

‘  i don’t like that.  ’

‘  i’ve seen ghosts that would suck your dick dry.  ’

‘  that was a scripted-- a scripted loss.  ’

‘  perfect, freedom. sweet delicious freedom.  ’

‘  you’re good, you’re good. i think you’re safe.  ’

‘  we’ve achieved our objective, let’s go home.  ’

‘  oh you’ve got a knife, huh?  ’

‘  somebody died and you know it wasn’t me.  ’

‘  oh my god, somebody shot at me.  ’

‘  you stabbed me mid-word.  ’

‘  fuck, there’s nowhere to hide.  ’

‘  this is an exercise of trust, i’m gonna run towards you with my eyes closed.  ’

‘  i'm... playing with a banana.  ‘

‘  just a bunch of dead bodies and pictures all over the wall.  ’

‘  did you-- did you throw your knife at me?  ’

‘  someone make a goddamn move, i’ll call you out like a fucking seagull.  ’

‘  you guys are all pricks.  ’

‘  last time you had a room of safety, you guys shot each other.  ’

‘  alright, i’m best friends with the first person i see.  ’

‘  it’s a fuckin’ pain in the dick.  ’

‘  i trusted you. we were together alone and you didn’t kill me!  ’

‘  they were holding something over their head that looked like a knife and i just ran away.  ’

‘  if i was the murderer, you’d all be dead already.  ’

‘  alright, tell me who to shoot.  ’

‘  i got wet ankles.  ’

‘  let me outta the door you dick ass! ’

‘  stay away from me. i don’t trust you right now.  ’

‘  alright, you guys are travelling in pairs, one of you is traveling with a murderer.  ’

‘  shut up, you murdering bitch.  ’

‘  if he was dead he wouldn’t be talking.  ’

’  this is a killer’s wet dream right here.  ’

‘  stop pointing guns at me!  ’

‘  i don’t want anything to do with you fuckers.  ’

‘  everybody put your back to the wall, we’ll all just stare at each other 'til forever.  ’

‘  get too close and see what happens.  ’

‘  who the fuck is this, shoving this in my fucking face?  ’

‘  i’m in my secret area. the first person i see from it will die.  ’

‘  stick with me, boys.  ’

‘  i don’t trust ANYONE!  ’

‘  it takes three years to reload, i had to pull back!  ’

‘  you have a gun. i have a hat.  ’

‘  did you shoot at me and miss?  ’

‘  i have no fear of the gun, i will gladly stand in front of it.  ’

‘  too much chit-chat, somebody had to die. ’

‘  how’d you get a brick?  ’

‘  i found a path to hell.  ’

‘  two people died and i found the weapon on the ground!  ’

‘  i'm definitely not crouched over a body.  ’

‘  i’m just standing here holding a turtle.  ’

‘  hey. big boy.  ’

‘  you-- don’t throw a wrench at him.  ’

‘  sir, i’m gonna have to ask you to please stop opening random doors.  ’

‘  they have no idea------ oh. he has some idea.  ’

‘  scissor me timbers.  ’

‘  you’ll blend in if you just take your clothes off.  ’

‘  i remember this hallway. it’s not a good hallway.  ‘

‘  and just like that, you got a dead guy in a cupboard.  ’

‘  did he just call me a little bitch?  ’

‘  he also just took my quarter though! damn it...  ’

‘  i had zero confidence that would work.  ’

‘  you don’t look suspicious at all.  ’

‘  you got a gun out, you idiot.  ’

‘  are you just gonna shank and run?  ’

‘  he’s alive, i let him live! what else do you want from me?  ’

‘  don’t try and kill her with a coconut, for christ sake.  ’

‘  it’s the back of the head: nature’s weak spot.  ’

‘  shall i snipe his face?  ’

‘  he’s fuckin’ Neo, he dodged it!  ’

‘  what if i inject THAT guy, chop him up and put him in the soup?  ’

‘  can i maybe just convince you to come over here and die in a corner?  ’

‘  i’m just assuming his clothes are better than the ones i’m wearing.  ’

‘  one day i want an infinity pool like that. or maybe like an infinity bucket.  ’

‘  maybe if you throw a coin into his glass, he’ll choke on it.  ’

‘  oh here’s the thing, i didn’t bring the silent sniper rifle.  ’

‘  i know you’re a fan of flooding sinks.  ’

‘  security guards don’t need a meat cleaver.  ’

‘  i need to dispose of this gentleman.  ’

‘  you get to live. how delightful.  ’

‘  if someone kicked me in the chest into the water, i don’‘t think i’d die from it.  ’

‘  remember that time we kept trying to put a mine in here?  ’

‘  after all that, THAT’S what you did?  after all that buildup?  ’

‘  so your plan, that’s better than my plan, is to just blow him up?  ’

‘  i don’t know, but she IS crouching like a fucking spider.  ’

‘  there we go, that was kind of master assassin-y. ’

‘  just shoot one bullet and curve it around the room, man.  ’

‘  you chucked a cleaver at the back of his head.  ’

‘  i always take a shit after a good kill.  ’

‘  cut his face off and wear it.  ’

❝ Are these exterior things enough to explain who you are? ❞

❝ Sorry, but could you not cause a ruckus while we’re stuck here? ❞

❝ I think you’re pretty damn eccentric anyway. ❞

❝ Have you been keeping something dark locked inside your heart lately? ❞

❝ It doesn’t hurt when they hit me. ❞

❝ My secret. I’ve killed someone before. ❞

❝ Don’t talk to me. We promised, remember? ❞

❝ Living together just seemed like the logical choice, don’t you think? ❞

❝ When I said I loved you, it was past tense, okay? ❞

❝ It feels like everyone’s emotions are all over the place. ❞

❝ Trying to hide it with a bandage or handkerchief just makes it more unnatural. ❞

❝ Why are you so loose-lipped about our situation? ❞

❝ You’re just being brainwashed! ❞

❝ Then... Could you die right now for me? ❞

❝ I think that’s probably because I’m not interested in myself. ❞

❝ People can’t find themselves within you. That irritates them. ❞

❝ I don’t know if I like you, but... I can’t help thinking about you. ❞

❝ And I thought I was close to remembering what I was really like. ❞

❝ When I’m hurting, everyone is hurting. ❞

❝ Your standards for friendship are too low. ❞

❝ Yup. Your personality definitely sucks. ❞

❝ I was taught to gratefully accept the kindness of others. ❞

❝ If I’m a good person, then you’re a saint. ❞

❝ I love it when you say ‘stupid’. Hey, say it more. ❞

❝ So, we’re finally friends, aren’t we? ❞

❝ Are you okay? Who the hell was that asshole? ❞

❝ No matter how much you try to run, you’ll never escape me. For all eternity. ❞

❝ You have a frightening look on your face. ❞

❝ If we work together, we can compensate for each other’s weaknesses. ❞

❝ What’s the problem? You’re the only one who’s hurting. ❞

❝ I’m going to go! I’m going to go get properly hurt! ❞

❝ Sorry, I was still holding your hand. ❞

❝ How could you hold me? You’re so cruel. ❞

❝ If you get too close to someone, you have to share your heart with them. ❞

❝ It hurts... It hurts... ❞

❝ The bitch got a stomach ache, serves her right. ❞

❝ It’s real easy, you could do it if you weren’t a fucking idiot. ❞

❝ Did you enjoy it? Did you enjoy your experience wasting time? ❞

❝ Oh! My dick! ❞

❝ I don’t mean to be a bearer of bad news, but a baby can’t fight a lobster. ❞

❝ I imprisoned myself in a cage, please save me. ❞

❝ I get cum in my beard a lot. ❞

❝ Does the Pope not masturbate, is that still a thing? ❞

❝ They’re clones! I don’t give a shit what they do! ❞

❝ Would you rather cry or die? ❞ 

❝ I’ve never seen homeless people be that aggressive. ❞

❝ You fell, like a helpless lump, into the Drano. ❞

❝ You got outsmarted by a fucking baby? ❞

❝ I hope a shooting star hits you and kills you! ❞

❝ She’s got a disgusting, wretched old bean. ❞

❝ Defeat the door, he told his young dog friend. ❞

❝ I’m gonna shit my pants though. ❞

❝ I’m the prince, you dipshit! ❞

❝ I don’t want any geese pecking my eyes out. ❞

❝ It’s a toy store, why’s it look like a fucking prison? ❞

❝ Merry Christmas, every whore. ❞

❝ You should write a kids book. ❞

❝ He looks like that dude from that porn video I showed you. ❞

❝ He does run like Naruto. ❞

❝ It was a good joke, fuck you! ❞

❝ Lobsters aren’t as strong as they look. ❞

❝ You know the Grinch, he’s always blowing on people. ❞

❝ I've dated men with better butts than that. ❞

❝ You think he went out of his way to look you up? ❞

❝ I just think you’re really special. You deserve special things in your life. ❞

❝ I mean, anyone would be lucky to date you. ❞

❝ Thief, I can tell you’ve been using my soap. You smell just like it. ❞

❝ So... How do I look? Like if we were about to go on a date, what would you think? ❞

❝ This is a little weird, but... Would you kiss me and see how this chapstick tastes? ❞

❝ All I’m saying is, I’d prioritize your orgasm over mine. ❞

❝ I covered your bed in rose petals for science. Take a look and tell me if it’s too much. ❞

❝ I’m kinda scared my kissing skills suck. Would you... Y’know. Practice with me? ❞

❝ How weird is it that our heights make our crotches match up perfectly? ❞

❝ Pull my hair again and this is gonna get real awkward real fast. ❞

❝ Sorry I, uh... Walked in on your alone-time. I swear I didn't see much. ❞

❝ Dinner’s on me if you please, please rub my back. ❞

❝ Your morning wood poked me, it happens. Doesn't have to be weird or anything. ❞

❝ I sorta had a bad day. Just cuddle up with me for a little while, please? ❞

❝ You deserve so much better than this. If you were mine, I’d... ❞

❝ I almost feel like you belong to me, like you’re my own personal person. ❞

❝ Is it weird that I always miss you more than I miss my actual girlfriend/boyfriend? ❞

❝ I can tell you’re pissed off. Just lie back, I’ll dish out my famous shoulder massage. ❞

❝ Can we kiss? I just really need to be kissed right now. ❞

❝ You’re welcome to stay, but remind me why I’m the little spoon in my own bed? ❞

❝ Doesn't mean I’m lonely when I’m alone. ❞

❝ I’m not amused. ❞

❝ I’d do anything just to make it right. ❞

❝ I’m never gonna be the same again. ❞

❝ No matter what people say, it didn’t happen that way. ❞

❝ What do you get when you give your heart? You get it all broken up and battered. ❞

❝ I’m not your anything. ❞

❝ Tell him right now. ❞

❝ That’s what you get for all your trouble. ❞

❝ She was a passing fling and not a permanent thing. ❞

❝ I’ve been insulted, disrespected; I’ve been mistreated. ❞

❝ Didn’t take no chances, I was a prisoner of doubt. ❞

❝ I can’t help falling in love with you. ❞

❝ Say you’ll understand. Oh, I know you can. ❞

❝ Come on, hold me tight. ❞

❝ You know that I love you. ❞

❝ Here I am, on my knees again. ❞

❝ Tell him that you’re never gonna leave him. ❞

❝ Tell him that you’re always gonna love him. ❞

❝ Maybe I should take it from here. ❞

❝ There’s no way I’m gonna sit this one out. ❞

❝ Now I’ve seen the way it’s got to end. ❞

❝ What the winner don’t know, the gambler understands. ❞

❝ I’ll take my chances on you again and again and again. ❞

❝ Don’t worry about a thing. ❞

❝ I’ve made up my mind. ❞

❝ Love is strange. Many people take it for a game. ❞

❝ I’ll never fall in love again. ❞ 

❝ Darling, so it goes. ❞

❝ I know something about love. ❞

❝ Now I’m stronger. ❞

❝ Don’t tell me what it’s all about. I’ve been there and I’m glad I’m out. ❞

❝ I think I love you, but I wanna know for sure. ❞

❝ I love you and nobody else. ❞

❝ Now I know how to play my hand. ❞

❝ Wild thing, you make my heart sing. ❞

❝ What do you get when you kiss a boy? You get enough germs to catch a fever. ❞

❝ You don’t know me. You’re dead wrong. ❞

❝ I’ve seen a lot of pain. ❞

❝ I’ve been mistreated. I’ve been abused. ❞

❝ I was just, y’know. The main cause of all this. ❞

❝ Yeah, that’s subtle. ❞

❝ It’s really easy to get taken advantage of by people that are smarter than you. ❞

❝ That’s karma, bitch. ❞

❝ Oh babycakes, you so crazy. ❞

❝ Wow, what a surprise, it was an incomprehensible piece of shit. ❞

❝ I would probably NOT want to risk her getting scared and shooting me. ❞

❝ Just because I say something doesn’t mean I actually mean it. ❞

❝ There was no way I could edit that music out, I’m sorry you had to listen to it. ❞ 

❝ So then everything starts blowing up for some reason. ❞ 

❝ Is this a universe where people don’t get extremely uncomfortable when they silently stare at each other for long periods of time? ❞

❝ So two people were found dead. Somewhere. That happens all the time. ❞ 

❝ Do you not need to breathe? Aren’t you gonna get a little cold? ❞

❝ Turns out she stops hating him as soon as she needs him for something. ❞

❝ Nah, we won’t enjoy ourselves, but let’s just do it anyway. ❞

❝ Spoiler alert, they die at the end. ❞

❝ God damn it, I wasn’t gonna but I can’t say no to that stupid fucking face. ❞

❝ I’ll fucking strangle that little shit. ❞

❝ If I wanted to watch an idiot gawking at a computer screen with their mouth open, I would just turn on my webcam. ❞

❝ Holy shit, just calm down and let him piss. ❞

❝ Why would I lie to you? ❞

❝ I will never tie you up again. ❞

❝ You gonna sit there and laugh at yourself all day, or are you gonna let me in? ❞

❝ Some people - not me - but I think some people might find you somewhat kind of attractive. ❞

❝ Look, did you ever stop to think that maybe you don’t know everything? ❞

❝ You find me exciting, don’t you? I excite you. ❞

❝ Did you get rid of me? Got tired of having me around? ❞

❝ Now I promise, with God as my witness, that that will never happen again. ❞

❝ What about girls whose hearts you’ve broken? ❞

❝ The cheapest motherfuckers in the world, rich people. ❞

❝ You’re dwelling. You’re playing that same song over and over again on repeat. ❞

❝ I disappoint you? I disappoint--- why do I disappoint you?  ❞

❝ Church is for brunettes. ❞

❝ Get him off me, get him off me, get him off me! ❞

❝ Maybe we deserve each other. ❞

❝ Listen kid, I don’t have time to draw you a map, but there’s a reason mamas tell their babies to stay away from guys like that. ❞

❝ And to show you that I mean business, I’m gonna untie you right now. ❞

❝ Stay. Stay with me. Please stay. ❞

❝ No, please lie to me. ❞

❝ You almost pissed on my head! ❞

❝ Go on, you should be writing this shit down. I’m giving you gold. I’m like fucking Gandhi over here. ❞

❝ You must be smart. Smart and pretty, that right there’s a deadly combination. ❞

❝ Now that rich fuck, he don’t deserve you. He just wants one thing. ❞

❝ I think you’re an angel. I think you were sent to be mine and to make things better. ❞

❝ I think you were put on this earth to save me. ❞