Muse Of Space

Laughably Dapper Auditions

1. Always have a water bottle in your car 2. Carry an extra lighter (even if you don’t smoke) 3. Get something new where you go to eat often, not just your usual. 4. Make a budget for yourself 5. But don’t forget to give yourself some play money and always round up on how much things cost so you have money left over 6. If you’re texting someone, but nervous to send it, just click the fucking send button. You typed that shit out for a reason. 7. Stay out late, but wake up early. You’ll be glad you had all of your day. 8. If something makes you laugh until your sides hurt, write it down in the notes in your phone, you’ll want to remember that later. 9. When you’re talking to someone, and you suddenly think of something you want to say, put up a finger and wait for them to finish talking. It’ll help you remember what you wanted to say, but you won’t interrupt them. 10. Go to plenty of concerts. Especially outdoor ones. Get drunk with your friends, but not sloppy drunk. Just drunk enough to scream your favorite songs and dance without feeling embarrassed. 12. Always keep a change of clothes in your car. Including a pair of shoes. You never know. 13. Keep at least $20 cash on you at all times. Gas is usually cheaper when you pay with cash, and not everywhere you go to eat splits checks. 14. It’s okay to be sad, but try not to forget about what makes you happy. 15. Coupons are always fantastic. 16. If you think something is cute, fucking wear it. Don’t worry about what everyone else thinks. You’ll look great, I promise. 17. Sex stores are fun, even if you just want a good laugh. 18. Plan out your days off with your friends, that way you aren’t stuck around asking the “I don’t know what do you wanna do” 19. Don’t forget to remind your friends how much they mean to you. 20. If someone gives you a compliment, smile and say thank you. They wouldn’t say it, if they didn’t mean it. 21. Drink plenty of water. Not only does it keep you hydrated, but clears your skin. 22. I know you might want to be tan, but is it really worth being burnt and exposing yourself to all that skin cancer bull shit? No. Use at least SPF 15. It’s not that hard and you’ll still tan. So stop being a brat. 23. You’re allowed to be happy. Don’t ever let anyone tell you otherwise. 24. Aim to be better, not bitter. 25. Some days are better than others. 26. You can never over pack. Pack what you want. You’ll be glad you have options to choose from. 27. Take those extra hours at work. It’ll be worth it when you see your paycheck. 28. Clean your fucking room and make your bed you slob. It’ll look so much nicer and you’ll feel better you did it. 29. If you have to, make the first move. It’s scary, but someone has to do it. 30. Take plenty of pictures. Of the sunset, your food, your friends, your dog, selfies. Everything. That way, later when you scroll through your camera roll, you’ll remember everything about that day, good or bad.

Recite a poem.

I really hope this project lasts for a long time. The HomesmutVoices blog? I think was it's name didn't last too long and went quiet. (By the way all of the voice actors are very talented.)

I really hope this project lasts for a long time. The HomesmutVoices blog? I think was it's name didn't last too long and went quiet. (By the way all of the voice actors are very talented.)

You want to say Hi to the cute girl on the subway. How will she react? Fortunately, I can tell you with some certainty, because she’s already sending messages to you. Looking out the window, reading a book, working on a computer, arms folded across chest, body away from you = do not disturb. So, y’know, don’t disturb her. Really. Even to say that you like her hair, shoes, or book. A compliment is not always a reason for women to smile and say thank you. You are a threat, remember? You are Schrödinger’s Rapist. Don’t assume that whatever you have to say will win her over with charm or flattery. Believe what she’s signaling, and back off. If you speak, and she responds in a monosyllabic way without looking at you, she’s saying, “I don’t want to be rude, but please leave me alone.” You don’t know why. It could be “Please leave me alone because I am trying to memorize Beowulf.” It could be “Please leave me alone because you are a scary, scary man with breath like a water buffalo.” It could be “Please leave me alone because I am planning my assassination of a major geopolitical figure and I will have to kill you if you are able to recognize me and blow my cover.” On the other hand, if she is turned towards you, making eye contact, and she responds in a friendly and talkative manner when you speak to her, you are getting a green light. You can continue the conversation until you start getting signals to back off. The fourth point: If you fail to respect what women say, you label yourself a problem. There’s a man with whom I went out on a single date—afternoon coffee, for one hour by the clock—on July 25th. In the two days after the date, he sent me about fifteen e-mails, scolding me for non-responsiveness. I e-mailed him back, saying, “Look, this is a disproportionate response to a single date. You are making me uncomfortable. Do not contact me again.” It is now October 7th. Does he still e-mail? Yeah. He does. About every two weeks. This man scores higher on the threat level scale than Man with the Cockroach Tattoos. (Who, after all, is guilty of nothing more than terrifying bad taste.) You see, Mr. E-mail has made it clear that he ignores what I say when he wants something from me. Now, I don’t know if he is an actual rapist, and I sincerely hope he’s not. But he is certainly Schrödinger’s Rapist, and this particular Schrödinger’s Rapist has a probability ratio greater than one in sixty. Because a man who ignores a woman’s NO in a non-sexual setting is more likely to ignore NO in a sexual setting, as well. So if you speak to a woman who is otherwise occupied, you’re sending a subtle message. It is that your desire to interact trumps her right to be left alone. If you pursue a conversation when she’s tried to cut it off, you send a message. It is that your desire to speak trumps her right to be left alone. And each of those messages indicates that you believe your desires are a legitimate reason to override her rights. For women, who are watching you very closely to determine how much of a threat you are, this is an important piece of data.