Description: Story of a young college student, by the name Ashlee Jean Curtis who suffer from depression and bipolar disorders every since her parents had divorced, back when she was around 13 years old. It’s hard for her to be close with her mother cause of her mother’s behaviour torce her, where she randomly pops up at events, parties and other places that she’s located and low key has her Aunt Josephine aka, “Aunt Jody”, who she goes to with any advice and very close with, but discovered that her Aunt was along with her mother spying on her, where she tells her how she caught her boyfriend, Jaz with another girl, which leads that her mom had dragged Aunt Jody along to spy, which lead Ashlee to denial and blunts out on her Aunt for going behind her word on, “staying out of her way”. She storms herself into her bedroom where she lays on her bed, walked herself to her secret stash on top of her closet where she took a bottle of pills, walked herself to her bathroom where she draws her a hot bathe and seen stepping in the bathe where she seen laying then suddenly blacks herself out as she drowns, but was just an illusion where she suddenly realized, she was afraid to lose her life. After she steps herself out where she wrapped the towel around her body and reflects on the picture of her and her dad back when she was young.

She grabbed her luggage bags on top of her closet and left her mom a letter on the bed. She goes on her phone and buys a plane ticket to Los Angeles, California where her father moved. She arrives and goes to her father’s job to surprise him, arrives to her father’s office where she seen from the window the exact lady her father had an affair with back when she was younger. She flash back herself in the grocery store where she was with her mom and she looked through the glass window at her father giving a lady to kiss to her car.

She hesitated herself , stormed herself in breaks the glass door walked over to the both her father and the lady started going off on the both of them walked over and takes the bat that her mom had beating up her dad’s car with back when she caught him cheating and breaking every vase, glasses, glass tables and the portrait of her and her father, destroy’ s his whole office then walks herself out to the garage to his Lexus but stopped herself cause she didn’t want to suffer what her mom had to, she drops the bat right beside her dad’s car.

She walked herself out to the front of her dad’s office building sat at the bus stop where she met Chad, a guy that worked with her dad and knew her back in high school, but she never noticed him. He tries to ask her out, which lead her to an uncomfortable position of trust.

3 months later she moved herself to Los Angeles to be with Chad, where she had more issues where she felt as, “This is too good to be true”.

Once Chad left for work, she got more suspicious already, but forgets it and takes a trip to the grocery store where she remembered being at the same aisle when she was younger, but instead she looked again through the glass where she pictured Chad kissing a lady to her car, same she seen as a little girl of her father. She storms out, dropped her items and blunt which wasn’t no one there and everyone stared at her as she felt embarrassed and realized she needed serious help.

She began checks herself to a therapist where she began telling everything, crying her eyes out on how her father left her and her mom at the age of 13, how she just wanted to lose her life, but was afraid to die, blunt on her Aunt, who she thought she could fully trust, her father for having the affair with the lady, and how she saw it back when she was young, how she knew her old boyfriend Jaz, was cheating but denied it, how she was a reflection of her mother to her father, how she kept her from her father and having trust issues in a early relationship with Chad, which she knew who he was but didn’t want to notice him or get hurt again.

The therapist asked her if she had kept a notebook or a journal to express her pain, she answered, yes she had a diary where she express her pain through.

4 weeks later everyone’s family counseling, her mom, her father, aunt Jody and her boyfriend Chad where she shared her thoughts and feelings through her diary with everyone in the room, where she couldn’t barely read from crying her eyes out like everyone else around her. Turned her pain through into a story…

Ending, 6 months… She finally made peace with her mother and father, finally apologized to her Aunt for her denial behavior and finally gotten help from her depression and bipolar and trust issues and moved on with her life and her soon to be husband Chad, where she turned her thoughts and feelings, expressing her pain threw her diary to a successful writer and author.

Where an older version of Ashlee was asked by a young lady how she survived all through that, she couldn’t barely answer but instead looked at Chad through the window with roses and smiled, “I just let the past, be the past”…..

“IONIC DOS!“🖤👑

Warning : graphics, and other unpleasant words, a apologize, must be 18 and over to view..

 couldn't believe it. Today was the day. I kept hearing my publisher Melissa in the front room asking, "are you sure out this?", my head simply nodded. I was sure without a doubt. It was time, and as a author I had no choice but to do it. As I waited for calls , I could hear her mouthing to herself saying how crazy this will make me look, but why will it? It was my life. The traumas between my mother and father because of his scandals between different women, me and my mother's bipolar relationship, my aunts and I back and forth friendship, and who I thought I loved, my ex and unforgettable boyfriend Dru Miller AKA Jaz, still the man I wished I married, but time again, it was time to move on. 

As I waited for the time to pass, it brings anicking memories of the time mama, Aunt Jody and I took a long trip to the grocery store. It was the day mama nearly flatten daddy's tires and even the chick he was creeping with. I could hear her signal Aunt Jody to never speak of his name anymore, nor the fact she was still blind by his intuitions.

Every time his name came out, it seemed like word vomit to mama, I can tell from her eyes she wanted to cry, he was the only lover she'd ever loved and hurted her sadly how the two grew so far apart. It was like yesterday the two met. Daddy was always in his fly best of clothes as mama was like me the shy type. She wasn't too fond of glamorous things till dad showed her another way of life. He will call her for days, send flowers to her unexpectedly and give her the greatest love she'll never forget, but to her now it was all just a memory, a sad horror she'll wish to never remember nor would I….

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The falling night to never forget. The nights were crisps, traffic was calm and the sounds of cashier machines were flowing. Momma and Aunt Jody both decided to take a trip to the casinos before trailing over to the local grocery store. I was always at my grandmother's, watching the world's most boring shows as ever in history, and fed like a stuffed turkey. 

Lord know's I loved my nana, but she fed me so much I couldn't hardly fit into my pretty cloths mama would get after winning the big jackpot. Every week she'd take a trip down with Aunt Jody to clear her mind on things, even hoping to find someone new as she was always afraid to give her love life a chance. I'd noticed the men momma dated never stayed quite long, they were either for one thing nor the other. She seemed real down and never felt as if she was good enough for anyone, and I felt so bad for her.

The time she'd brought this guy home, as his name is anonymous. He was always good to her, and loved me so well, but the day momma took off from work, so was he. He would always share himself with other women, smoking and drinking and by some horse in sight. I knew he was the one for mama, but what he had done to her was never unforgettable. 

The day she'd came home from working out of state, she seem something unusual with the male in her life. He was hardly home, and like myself I was always rounded at my grandma's, stuffed and fed like a thanksgiving turkey and spoiled by my grandpa. The house seem quiet and his phone was always ringing, she didn't know if to answer it nor if she wanted to. She did the giving thing and took an offer. After taking the call, an unusual voice hit the phones of a woman prancing to get to the emergency room. She seem like she was out of breath and in a hurry she needed help. Mama couldn't think of another word to say as she kindly asked the lady what she was wrong with her, but as the lady tried to speak, there he was. 

He was standing by the corners properly folding his arms as he watched her on the phone's and the lady asking if he was there, the he mama was talking to. As the time passed mama still didn't knew till this day this man was not the one for her. He had a child coming, literally did she know, but the call send tingles to her spine, poor her and what she went through with this one. Still a bad seed left in her garden. 

So finally after the casino. Mana would come pick me up from nana's and take me along with her and Aunt Jody to the grocery store. My favorite place on the planet, and the candy aisle. I spent hours and hours huddling by mama's basket as she picked items for our dinner. I couldn't wait any longer as to give in to asked if I could get a small thing from the candy aisle, as mama she will praise of,

"you'll gain cavities eating all that junk food", but everything I've eaten came straight through me, and my teeth were perfect as the dentist required. 

Mama couldn't stand the sight of my silents as she took a give in and told me to be back in a hour as I took off like lighten. My sparkle pink shoes, twirling in a pink and glittery dress, skipping down the aisle singing along to Dixie chicks were playing in the stores. I was so excited, so joyful and so hypnotized by the sweets, chocolates and so much sugar I literally turned into food coma, my eyes haven't seen much of packages, and all kinds of flavors. 

Picking one was so hard, but not from how my eye was twitching, it could sense something from the corners was not formally correct. Still trying to pick on which sweets to purchase as my eyes kept saying, "follow me" as the distraction of varieties were inching through my tastebuds.

 A man entered the stores as he dressed so low-key and so what daddy had dressed. His hair was puffy and his shades were tinted as he looked as he didn't want to be seen. To the left of him was a lady about mama's height but hair shorter than hers, dressed in a causal - sparkly pink dress with shoes to match. 

Peeking at the candies as hearing the man whispering to the lady, "hurry up!", her expression was on another level as her eyes were full of spark like she wanted to bury him in sight. It was the scariest thing to me, because after picking out my candy I gently bumped into her as she quickly moved without saying, "excuse me", it made me feel bad and rushed back to mama explaining all what happened, she wasn't amused and told me to grab my candy and head over to the check out lines. 

I did as I was told as I skipped back over to the aisle, picking the candy I was saving for as my eyes sighted me to something I couldn't believe, and made sure I was looking correctly what I had seen, "it can't be", muttered to myself after taking the full percussion not to address this to mama, but the truth had to be told. 

Going back nervous as ever as she was putting items up to be scanned, still holding on to my candies as my eyes told it all. "Baby girl?", she watched as I kindly gave her my candies, "you ok?", firmly nodded my head as my eyes were very stunned by the sight I had seen. 

From hours of scanning, the sight played into mind and to my stomach I felt sick. There was no way of my age I could explain this to her, nor my Aunt Jody who looked tired herself from grocery shopping. But as a child I stayed in a child's place. 

As we got to the car, momma could spot something was wrong as she tried calling daddy for hours, but no answer, and thinking he could be still busy at the office he'd worked late night as if she knew what he was really up too. 

@ephitania @shaloveuniqueness82 @maddiestundentwritergaines @itsrobbean