A bit of light and a touch of dark

Oh, boy that was hard to watch. And I don't mean any horror/spooky bit, I mean poor Patricia trying to make friends. That was so uncomfortable, but she was trying so hard! Tbh, some of those women were so mean that at some point I just wanted the monster of the week to come out and start eating people.

Patricia, my girl, I love your book van and you are competent and sweet and brave (she did save them in the end!).

Li Jun is one of the most obvious examples, he is saved by (and saves) Carl multiple times, and it doesn't matter because he dies on the ninth floor, right before the chance for freedom. What did it mean for Li Jun to struggle so much, only to die? Does the extra time with his sister and best friend outweigh all the pain and suffering he went through? Would it have been kinder to let him and his family die?

Annie's the other obvious one, the tragedy wasn't that Annie was sick and dying it's that she was denied the comfort of dying with someone who loved her! She was never going to live but the love that Katia gave her was real! Does it matter if it couldn't change anything? If Annie was only ever going to break Katia's heart should she have loved her in the first place?

The crawlers on the fifth floor as well, especially Langley and company, was it worth it to fight so hard to get off the fifth floor only to die early on the sixth? What does it mean if the second they gain confidence and purpose they just die? Was it worth it? Was it worth the struggle and pain?

If all of Signet's memories of her family are fake, if her whole family is fake, does her love still matter? Does her pain? Her hatred? Should she still fight for them?

Was Donut's love for Bea wasted? Do the moments of love and companionship between them mean nothing now because of Bea's betrayal? Were the moments between them fake even? If Bea had never taken Donut, Dount would never have met Carl, but is that they only thing she would lose?

What of Yvette? A girl born into a shitty family, who struggled and suffered to grow up only to die horribly and painfully and young. Would it have been kinder if she just died in the collapse?

Would it be better if Carl's mom never took him to the circus? Is it tarnished by the heartbreak that came after? Was suicide really the only way?