Looking for: Second-hand funnies

hmmm why does my uterus hurt and why do i feel kinda off. weird. surely these are not the warning symptoms of a predictable biological process that occurs on a regular schedule. anyway. im going to wear white pants today.

by talos this cant be happening

Raphael Bob-Waksberg is the creator of the Netflix series BoJack Horseman.

I hate the “open floor plan” that everyone is obsessed with in houses now. I want nooks and crannies and bizarre floor plans. I don’t need to be able to see what someone is doing on the other side of the house. I want places to hide and lurk and dwell in the shadows. I am the beast who awaits in the labyrinth

everytime someone rbs this i get a notification as though it were my post, even the rbs that don’t have my addition. go away onion post i am not your mother

Abandoned by its biological mother, the onion post instead imprints on a random passerby that fed it.

sometimes im like "wow holy shit im being really fucking annoying. i should stop talking" and then i pull out my magic 8 ball and it says "youve always been annoying and your friends chose to talk you anyways. youll be fine" and im like wow thanks magic 8 ball. and then the ogre attacks me