ZAYN

nicola: im already on my way

nicola: i know its my turn to come to you

zayn: a girl who listens when i speak.

“Me? Throw tantrums? You must know another Irish lad, mate because that is not me. I’m enjoin’ this time off, but I also just want to get back out there. It’s a dilemma. Why don’t ya make one of your rooms into a studio?”

you have your moments, it isn’t full blown kicking your legs and wailing your arms but it used to happen. studio time is perfect for that in between stage. just keep your head focused in the studio! i should, but it’s either the room become a studio or a room where i do my art, and my art is more important.

nicola: mmhmm

nicola: you can redeem the extra credit points for a prize of your choosing

zayn: i already have something in mind.

zayn: hurry up!

nicola: i will, thats something id be interested in learning about

nicola: that one i didnt see coming

nicola: ill add more extra credit to your tab now, romeo

zayn: tonight?

zayn: what does all this extra credit add up to?

nicola: didn't tell me anything innocent

nicola: you may never know how in my head i am

nicola: but if you can accept that and deliver cheesey lines, ill give you extra credit

zayn: that's crazy.

zayn: you should come over, let you see who i am for yourself.

zayn: you have the right to be, i mean, look at you.

nicola: pft ive seen the look in your eyes

nicola: and it was far from virtuous!

nicola: that isn't convincing even over text.

zayn: what did that look tell you?

zayn: it maybe wrong!

zayn: oh, so you're that in your head.

zayn: that's okay, because you're fine as wine.

nicola: didnt realize you were so virtuous, my apologies

nicola: good.

nicola: what you find hard to stand is that you actually crave my presence, Malik

zayn: yes!

zayn: don't assume before you get to truly know me!

zayn: psht; not at all

nicola: yeah what a long shot huh?

nicola: both

nicola: ill return the favor. not fair to have only one of us semi cool and collected.

zayn: that hurts.

zayn: 'm not that kind of guy, at all!!

zayn: i like that.

zayn: i'm getting excited just thinking about it.

nicola: somehow i dont think it'd be a tough sell

nicola: self care is important

nicola: ive gotten a taste of what your mouth can do, so i see the being collected part breaking down

zayn: you calling me easy?? WOOOOOOW

zayn: i'm not denying it.

zayn: for you or for me?

nicola: i think you'll live long enough, i didn't say i'd be able to wait THAT long

nicola: i dont think anyones died from blue balls so you should be alright for a little bit

nicola: im willing to let you do a little more to me than that - continue stretching that definition

zayn: okay, well, i guess i'll have to wait in see.

zayn: not as if i was going to give it up to you easily though.

zayn: lol jk

zayn: yeah, i take good care of myself.

zayn: is that so?

zayn: you'd let me go down on you?

nicola: i just make you stretch your definition of "all"

nicola: until you're dead? wow i would be taking patience to an entirely new level if i could wait that long

zayn: by the entire definition.

zayn: you think i'm going to live a long lustrous life?

zayn: thanks.

nicola: some sort of satisfaction is better than none, is it not?

nicola: youre not being punished

nicola: im working on delayed gratification. ups the ante for the end game itll be worth it

zayn: i'm an all or nothing type of guy.

zayn: but you're obviously gonna be the one to change me, huh?

nicola: if i recall you did mention the word hard an exceptional number of times, not that you had to..

nicola: i have willingly thought about that, actually

zayn: yet, you didn't even hesitate to give me some sort of satisfaction.

nicola: so modest

nicola: i'm acknowledging it, im impressed

zayn: did i ever mention how hard that was?

zayn: even with that make up on.

I think it kind of comes with dipping out of modelling and into acting, you know? You have to be more high-profile to stay relevant in modelling but I think that if you do your best to always have another project lined up then you can stay lowkey in acting. Yeah, shit, could be a lot worse - you’re right.

i wouldn’t know but it seems about right. i know with gigi, everything was put out in the public and it was bittersweet because as much as she wanted to be open she wanted privacy. i believe that’s stardom period, though. for better or for worse...i’m happy for you.

It’s weird though because I haven’t been super public for a while. Like, I always make the joke that I’m so 2013, but honestly.. I didn’t expect the mainstream media to still give a fuck. I mean, I know it’s mostly because they’ve been stalking me and Ashley for a while now, but still. I guess it’s.. flattering. In an annoying way.

i know this, you’ve been super lowkey but you’re also this person that no matter how much time spent in private, people love you. embrace it, they could be bashing you and trying to get a reaction out of you, but they aren’t.