I write things

I recently purchased the vinyl for the 1979 version of In Trousers and in the liner notes it has the entire original text for How America Got Its Name. It's quite different from the 1985 version with the main difference being that Marvin is the only one who says anything; it is a solo monologue. There are other differences, but I would rather not list them all out. Anyway, here we go:

Marvin: (Dressed like Columbus) Columbus didn't use to be a sailor. He was first and foremost director of medicine at a prestigious institute for doctors in Eldoro. That's the truth. But nobody ever talks about his medical career anymore. He was embarrassed out of his job. Harassed. Made to be the butt of jokes at medical conventions. This is what happened. One day--now this is the truth--one day outside Poma del Fuego, he picked up a social disease from a man with red hair and broad shoulders like his mother. By the time Columbus got to the Verona Baths, he had cancres all over his chest where once bronze hairs grew. And back at the Institute no one could fail but notice an incredible diminution of intelligence on Columbus' part. He was half insane by the time they strapped him to a ship, and pushed him to sea.

MUSIC

With him on that boat were other socially diseased persons. From the few clippings extant, it appears they had a ball the whole trip and screwed like bunnies, never worrying if finally they were going to contract the dread disease, because they all had it, you see--so they debauched the whole night and awoke refreshed. This went on for thirty-four days.

MUSIC

I am going to discover Cincinnati, Columbus cried. Why Cincinnati, they asked him. For my Aunt Cynthia and Uncle Nathan, he said, who died four years earlier in a plague which my Institute never quite found the cure for. This is what the Jews do, he added, name other countries for the dead.

MUSIC

Halfway out to sea, or on the thirty-fifth day, Columbus' cancres began to disappear. He stopped moaning in the middle of lovemaking and began to say: "How about that, young man?" or sometimes, boasting, "Tell me you didn't like that." Well, everyone was glad to see Columbus becoming his old self again, but everyone was saying what a prick Columbus was. In his diary he wrote: "Whatever it is I discover, it better not give me any lip."

MUSIC

Fifty miles off Martha's Vineyard, it became clear that everyone's cancres had disappeared, their brains restored, bodies once again sound; and everyone had a good laugh about it, maybe whistled with relief, maybe gave a few pecks on the cheek here and there, but there was no heavy petting, you can be sure of that. "Hey, keep your hands off me fella"--you heard that pretty often on deck. And then later, "I said keep your hands off me!" Well, Lord knows, many lonely evenings, clippings extant say, because each man feared acquiring the dread disease which had brought him there in the first place. In his diary Columbus posed the question: "How many passionate persons can fit comfortably on the head of a pin?" He pondered the question, he sat with his chin resting neatly in the palm of his hand, and he replied. Question: "How many passionate persons can fit comfortably on the head of a pin?" Answer: "Merely one. Or... I don't know." (MUSIC BEGINS) I don't know.

MUSIC

So there they were on board looking out to see this new land Columbus was going to discover. And soon the blue horizon disappeared to be replaced by a magnificent array of greens. Fir green, evergreen, lime green, dark green, light green. The entire palette of greens stood maybe only a day's float ahead of them. No one moved. No one was allowed to move. When they were maybe fifty or seventy-five yards away, Columbus could not withstand his enthusiasm any longer. "My land is so beautiful," Columbus cried. "So beautiful," they agreed in unison, like a chorus, like a barbershop quartet multiplied by fifteen. 'So very beautiful." There were tears in Columbus' eyes. "Men," he turned to them, he looked at every one straight in the face, he was very moved by this discovery, "Men, no longer do I call this land Cincinnati; rather, this fine, green, beautiful land which I discovered today, I name AMERICA! After Amerigo Vespucci. A young man I met in Poma del Fuego with red hair and broad shoulders like his mother.

MUSIC

As I mentioned in my previous post I have been working on a screenplay adaptation for In Trousers. This project is purely for fun but I thought it’d be cool to share 5 pages from it, covering the songs How The Body Falls Apart and Your Lips And Me. Keep in mind that this is a first draft so if it has a rough feel to it or if there are any grammatical or structural errors, that’s probably why. Also let me know if the link doesn’t work.

Ok, so for those that have never heard of In Trousers, it is a musical originally written in 1979 that acts as a precursor to the much more famous musical Falsettos (though technically Falsettos is two musicals in one and this whole thing is a trilogy but that doesn't really matter for this post). In Trousers is often criticized for being too confusing as it deliberately avoids a linear storyline and leaves many details unexplained or up for interpretation.

In theater, I can understand why people wouldn't like it. Most people only see a show once. So, if they don't "get it", they probably won't like it as much. In Trousers is a musical that begs to be looked at and experienced more than once. You know a medium that is more forgiving to "artsy" and "interpretive" story structure that you can also easily experience more than one time? MOVIES, BABY!

The most terrible decisions are often made with the best of intentions

Someone who sets out to kill will likely not get very far, but someone who sets out to help the masses, well, they’ll do things they never could imagine.

December 2nd, 1863

Alone is where the heart is

or so I’ve been told.

My house has never felt so

empty.

Outside,

young men scream.

Inside,

I don’t know what to do.

The light refracts

through the window.

The curtains

twist like gods in tango.

This is America.