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The crowd erupted mid match, it usually happened to celebrate a goal, to cheer on the players that were in the field playing to make their country proud, but never to shut them off, never to insult someone of the team you were rooting for.

Until he came into the picture.

Ferran knew he wasn't the best from his team, he didn't have a problem admitting it, but he got the chance to represent his country in a world cup, so of course he took every chance he could to try to prove himself, not just to his team and his coach, but to the fans too.

He used to think they were supposed to have his back, because even if he missed, even if the ball didn't enter the goal, he was helpful enough to his teammates and to their strategies. But that wasn't close to what he was expected to do, and people started to tell him so.

At first it was only a couple of comments under his posts, something he would scroll past because he was used to some people not liking him, that was part of the life of dedicating yourself to a sport. But then DMs were added to the mix, it was easy to ignore when there were only a couple, and some of them were even funny… Until the threats to him and his loved ones started.

The Spaniard blamed it on that first missed goal, it'll pass, he had told to himself, because he was sure he would score a goal, it was just a matter of time, after all he had scored many goals while playing in the Barcelona, why would this be any different?

His team never missed a day where they told him that sometimes it's not worth it to listen to the fans, they loved the team, of course, but most of them don't know what it was like to be one facing their rivals, having to be the one who score.

You also told him so every day, because he tried hard, he never made it about himself, he turned it into him failing the team, which was the stupidest thing you have ever heard, specially coming from someone like him, it didn't make sense.

Despite the team's efforts something shifted inside of Ferran's mind, the bubbly, funny and outgoing guy disappeared every time he stepped out of the court when the training came to an end, because he would never let "his dramas" influence the rest, but he also felt that he didn't deserve to feel satisfied after a long training session if he wasn't able to show it in a match.

His shoulders dropped down as he dried his hair with the first towel he found in the locker room, he sat while the rest of the boys chatted about the team and their impression of the next match, his mind going back to the little world he created for himself.

Pedri tried to talk to him, he tried to ask him to go out with them, to just take a break from all the training he had been doing these past days even when they were supposed to be resting.

"I can't, I have stuff to do" Even the way he smiled was different, it usually went up to his eyes, making them to narrow, but it hadn't happened in a while.

"Come on, it can't be that important, we can go eat one of those burgers you like"

That was usually all it took, food was a common love language in the sport, spending a "cheat meal" together was a way of showing that even outside the routine they liked to spend time with each other, you honestly found it adorable.

So watching him reject that offer, an offer coming from one of his best friends of the team, set off all your alarms.

"Okay bro, text if you end up coming" He gave him a quick pat on the shoulder before the younger boy heard someone else calling him over, making the locker room finally empty just for him.

You had been in your office this whole time, making some notes on the little notebook that you always carried with you on the practices. How they trained and worked inside of a game was important, but that was nothing if they lost their spark, if something about them changed, because that would change their game.

It was important to create something safe for them, so you had one rule, if they were mad because of anything, they came into your office to scream at the wall or talk or do whatever they needed, but if you ever saw a drop of it outside your office, they weren't training that day.

You didn't teach that football.

Ferran got up, ready to go to his hotel to either train in his room or in the hotel's gym, but you weren't going to let him walk around with that dark cloud over his head.

"Number seven" Calling them by their numbers stared as a joke, you were used to associate certain number with your last players, so that was your way of training yourself, but they ended up loving it, because now using captain on you made perfect sense.

The boy tried to make it look like he didn't hear you, like he was in a rush and had to leave as soon as possible, even if he had already stayed longer than the usual.

"Ferran, I need to talk to you"

He stopped in his tracks, you only used name inside of the field, where things had to be formal and everyone could hear you.

"Yeah?" He turned around but never walked closer to you, he could see and hear you perfectly from where he was, after all your door was wide open, but the distance gave him enough confidence that you couldn't see through him if you couldn't reach him.

"Can you come in? I don't want to scream just to talk with you" Your tone was gentle, it was always like that when you noticed someone having a bad day.

"Do I need to?"

The way you looked at him was more than enough to answer him, it wasn't threatening or warning, but the way the intense colour of your gaze pierce his eyes was too much for him to think about saying no.

You leaned on your desk as you waited for him, when you had this kind of talks you wanted to be on the same level as them, because even though you were their superior after the last beep of your whistle you could also be their friend, so you were expecting to have a conversation standing up.

But Ferran couldn't do that, he couldn't put himself at your level, he wasn't even close to be as good of a player as you were when you played, so he decided to sit down, instinctively making himself smaller than you.

It wasn't the first time you saw that, it was one of the few times that it came from a man but still, it always squeezed your heart in a way that you couldn't explain without sounding a bit too dramatic for anyone's opinion.

"What's up with you? You've been different" You already knew everything of course, Gavi came a few days earlier pointing it out as part of one of his usual rambles, he came into your office with one after every match or training, it brought a different perspective, but the fact that he was the third boy to talk about it made it clear that you weren't the only one seeing things.

"Mhm? No, I've been trying hard on the practices, I even go to the gym every day right after."

Maybe you had started to notice it too, he would never blame you, of course, you were one of the best coaches he had ever had, and he would understand it if you would need to put him aside for the team to work better.

Was he really working as hard as he thought? Or maybe he was just having pity on himself and nothing of what he was doing was actually useful.

"I know you do, I'm not talking about your performance Fer" His shoulders relaxed immediately once you were back to using a nickname, maybe you weren't mad at him, maybe you were just disappointed.

He looked up at you, those deer eyes trying to figure out what you were going to say next, because even if the biggest part of him was going to agree and accept any critic from you, there was something inside of him that wanted to prove himself to you.

For a second he stopped seeing you, well, at least the real you, because all he could imagine was you repeating over and over all the things he had been reading these past days, and you figured out something was wrong again when his jaw tensed and his body straightened again.

"You've been doing amazing these past days" Your hand went to give him a little squeeze on the shoulder, a soft way of reminding him that you were still there.

"Thank you" His words came more like a mumble, his eyes flying to his own lap. Why were you lying to him? Did he really look that pathetic and his own coach had to cheer him up by lying to his face? Fucking hell.

"Hey, eyes on me." Now he felt a little tap on his chin, that was the first time you had used it on him, it was usually reserved for when the younger boys were too distracted while you spoke.

But he did as you told him, it was the bare minimum he could do considering that you were putting up with him.

"Tell me what's going on, I can't help if you don't talk to me"

"Everything is fine" He couldn't be more of a burden, all the athletes suffered from mean comments, so he had to suck it up, because what if he decided to tell you and they ended up opening your eyes? He wouldn't survive it.

"Don't do that, don't lie to me"

The boy tried to keep his gaze on yours, but if he did so there was no way he could lie to you, that he could just smile and brush it off, and he couldn't understand why. He already told his friends some bullshit about training or his family, so why couldn't he do the same with you?

"I'm just tired and nervous" It should've just ended there, with you understanding his position and telling him that he should go back to the hotel and rest, maybe he would even get an 'I'm always here if you need to talk'.

But no, you had to be able to read him like an open book.

You crouched down in front of him just right after you got up from your chair, practically putting yourself in between his legs, his eyes following your every move; he didn't want to have to hear another order from you, because he knew he'd obey it, and if you kept insisting, he wouldn't be able to help but end up telling you everything.

"You sure?" He just nodded, speaking up wasn't even an option at this point, because none pushed this hard before, so he never had to stop his thoughts this much in front of anyone, so he didn't know how long he could keep it to himself.

Trying to get something out of him was not going to work, and if you tried too much maybe he'd close completely and that was the last thing you wanted to happen.

Ferran watched you get up, probably to go back to your chair right behind your desk, but a part of him wanted to keep you close, he needed it, so he did something his mind doesn't remember thinking of.

His hand grabbed you leg, the grip was tight enough to ask for you to stay but not too much for it to hurt you in any way. He probably should've grabbed your hand, or even your wrist, but nothing like that came to mind when all he could think of was about the possibility of you leaving.

"Why do you keep me on the team? Why don't you listen to them and just put me in the bench?"

That was all it took, a question coming out of his mouth in a shaky voice that could break anyone's heart.

Of course you didn't want it to end like this, but now he trusted you and you were going to make sure that the fall didn't hurt. Your attention were back to him, quickly going back to put yourself at his level. His hand was still on you, but that was the least of your concerns.

"What kind of stupid question is that? You're an amazing player"

There wasn't a pinch of dishonesty in your voice, just a deep worry and a need to make sure he felt worth it before he stepped out of your office. You placed your hand on his cheek, just to give him a brief caress.

"No- Don't lie to me, please" Every word had even more troubles coming out of him "Not you, I don't need pity."

"Why would I lie to you?"

"Because I look shitty, and pathetic" He mumbled, his eyes trying to escape yours once again, because admitting that while looking at you, felt too shameful.

Something changed in your expression, it went from soft to something more firm, and if he was looking at you he would've noticed it in a instant, because normally you were calm and sweet, but it sometimes wasn't how they needed to hear the things to believe them.

"Do you trust me? Do you think I've done any good to you as a player or a person?" He nodded, because if he dared to say anything else he would feel like the biggest liar in the world.

You didn't say anything, you needed him to look at you while you said this next words, but this time you gave him the chance to take the initiative and do it by himself.

And he did it, reluctantly at first as if he had to watch everything he did so he wouldn't mess up what was going on, as if the wrong move or word could pull you away from him in a instant.

"Then why I would I have any fucking reason to lie? Why would I keep a player in field if I think he wasn't as important as the rest?" Now it wasn't just about him, you know how much he respected you as a coach, so maybe if you made it look like he was criticising you choices he would connect the dots.

"You feel bad for me"

"Oh you wish, that's not the kind of coach I am, you know that, of course I adore you, all of you, but the game is more important" You could see the tears forming in his eyes, but the sensation was different this time "And if I think you're important to the game, you're staying in it"

Ferran opened his mouth, and for a fraction of second you thought he was going to speak up and to try telling you, again, that you were wrong, but then he did something unexpected. He just hugged you, his face hiding in the crook of your neck.

"It's alright, I got you" You caressed his back, glad he was letting all out, and that pressure he had been feeling these past days suddenly disappeared, even if it was only for the seconds you decided to hug him.

He was never someone to speak up, no when he had been told all his life that he should suck it up and deal with it in his own, and god, he swore he tried, he tried too hard to not be weak, to not let it get under his skin, but he couldn't keep up with it.

"I'm sorry" Ferran didn't know how but he was sure that you just made a face at his words.

"Don't be stupid, you're not robots" You kissed his temple, a very gentle gesture instead of the little pushes you gave him when you wanted to tell them off. "Plus it's not like I specifically didn't tell you guys that I was always here if you needed to talk"

"But-"

"No buts" He shut up as soon as he heard yours words, so you pulled back to be able to look at his eyes once again. "I mean everything I say, I hoped you've learned it by now"

You whipped off his tears with a tissue of the box that was always resting on top of your desk for this kind of situation which you always welcomed.

"Next time please don't make me interrogate you, I'm not sure how legal it is for me to do that"

Ferran let out a chuckle, his face was still slightly wet from a few seconds ago, but seeing his mouth curve like that was all you needed to count this whole interaction as a win.

"I won't tell a soul, I promise" He noticed how his hand was still on you, how you didn't take it away and how it just felt right to it to be there.

"You're doing amazing, I mean it, they don't know shit" You got up so he had to let go, his hand closing around the air where you used to be, but he didn't have right to say anything about it, not when nothing good would come out of this.

"Thank you"

The way it sounded was nothing like the one when he just stepped inside of your office practically under your threat.

"That's why I'm here, don't forget it next time, okay?" He was still looking up at you from the chair, so he nodded again.

"Yes Mister"

A part of him wanted to stay, to keep the conversation going just in case he could get something different out of it, but the other side told him not to push it, to give it time, to let himself and you get used to what he was feeling.

The boy got up while you went back to your desk, he took a deep breath and gave you a quick kiss on the cheek, a platonic gesture that couldn't have second intentions, but for him did.

"See you tomorrow coach"

"I'll see you tomorrow Fer" You smiled as he saw him leave the office.

Your eyes went down to your notebook, where you crossed Ferran's name, one person down to help the team, that was your favourite part of this work after all.