*beats the shit out of randall ascot as a prank*

sorry to everyone out there who thinks they have the funniest tshirt but i think i can confidently say i just saw the actual funniest tshirt just now. i passed by a beautiful black woman with long multicolor braids blowing majestically in the beach breeze & she was wearing an oversized tshirt that said in gigantic letters "WHITE BOY OF THE YEAR"

The ominous temperature in this post is 3.5315π Rrad

a giggle is a laugh and a smile at the exact same time

a laugh is when you smile twice at once

one time i was having sex and i was going “i’m yours i’m yours i’m yours” and then my partner stopped all of a sudden and said “can we talk about new kinks before we introduce them during sex” and i was like yeah what but it turned out she thought i was saying im a horse im a horse im a horse

Also messed up in that they should have been called quackarons.

She was so busy keeping an eye on the Maillard Reaction that she lost track of the Mallard Direction.

im so sorry i never participated in the reblog game you tagged me in i love you very much im just so tired

I am chronically online but not in a way that keeps me informed #mybubble

with a sense of toys and rationality

I just checked and it turns out you still can't hate yourself into a version of you that you can love. I know we were all hoping they'd fixed that but nope, offering unconditional compassion to your flawed self is still the only way to improve. The sweet relief of self-inflicted punishment isn't gonna cut it. Super fucked up, I know, but we carry on.

Blackout poetry exists on a dual axis from "banal" to "insightful" on the input side and "kind of deep" to "incredibly fucking dumb" on the output side, and while taking something banal and producing something kind of deep is well and fine, for my money taking something insightful and rendering it incredibly fucking dumb is where the real art is.

#i stuck the word 'banal' in there twice specifically so that 'anal' would be low hanging fruit#but i genuinely did not anticipate 'banana' --@prokopetz