*beats the shit out of randall ascot as a prank*

"it's ok to show (x) in fiction as long as the bad guy gets punished!" the bad guy doesn't have to get punished. in fact the bad guy can win altogether. the bad guy can entirely get away with it. hope this helps

and this part might make some people's head explode but: characters can be written to forgive things you personally wouldn't ever forgive. not everything is written as what you'd perceive to be the right choice. not everything is a self-insert & protagonists don't have to be relatable.

(voice of a person spiralling) its embarrassing but i still havent figured out if its ok for me to be alive

‘capitalism works’ factoid actually untrue. the 62 people who own half the world’s wealth are outliers and should be eaten.

62 8

Absolutely nuts how they made up a number for this satire post and the correction is that reality is *more absurd* than the number they chose

no i’m afraid it’s even worse than that. 62 was correct in 2016 when the original post was made.

sorry to everyone out there who thinks they have the funniest tshirt but i think i can confidently say i just saw the actual funniest tshirt just now. i passed by a beautiful black woman with long multicolor braids blowing majestically in the beach breeze & she was wearing an oversized tshirt that said in gigantic letters "WHITE BOY OF THE YEAR"

The ominous temperature in this post is 3.5315π Rrad

a giggle is a laugh and a smile at the exact same time

a laugh is when you smile twice at once

one time i was having sex and i was going “i’m yours i’m yours i’m yours” and then my partner stopped all of a sudden and said “can we talk about new kinks before we introduce them during sex” and i was like yeah what but it turned out she thought i was saying im a horse im a horse im a horse

Also messed up in that they should have been called quackarons.

She was so busy keeping an eye on the Maillard Reaction that she lost track of the Mallard Direction.

im so sorry i never participated in the reblog game you tagged me in i love you very much im just so tired

I am chronically online but not in a way that keeps me informed #mybubble

with a sense of toys and rationality