lens of les

Peace out 2024 ✌🏼

Friends in SC 🧡

xoxo 🖤🤍

I've been really hung up on fitness tiktok lately. I see women who looked like me reaching their goals and I'm afraid I'm always gonna stay stuck here at the halfway mark. I'm afraid I'll never reach that level of discipline, or if I do, I'll never get the results I desire because of forces greater than my efforts, like my imbalanced hormones. But I know I can't let this get me down and little progress builds up into the big progress I desire.

Touch. I've been very touchy feely with my loved ones and I've been very aware of the ways others give me physical touch. I really do get a lot of energy from those little caresses and kisses.

I always regret wearing an uncomfy top i.e. something that are in danger of a nip slip. I also regret wearing anything that was worn to cover up insecurities. Days like that are days that I really should've stayed home but decided to go out because I said I would but I'm no longer in the mood. My clothes is very indicative of how I'm feeling inside my head.

I think it's a little crazy to have this answer after such a short period of time, but Michael. I love my friends. I love my family. My co-workers (old and new) are cool. But I still curate different parts of me based on who I'm with - except when I'm with Michael. In fact, he allows me to really spread my wings and indulge in the little things I really enjoy, like photography and music for example, with zero judgement. I know more about my likes, dislikes, vices and virtues every time I hang out with Michael. And I think that's a beautiful thing and something I didn't realize is key in a relationship.

Honestly I didn't realize this was my toxic trait until I reflected on last night and realized I used to be just as persistent in my past relationships and my friendships. People have just adapted by giving me hard stops, but I need to start checking myself too.

Halloween '21