who's gonna save me now? some kind of hero? - an independent & selective multimuse rp blog, translated lovingly by birdie! ( she / her or they / them. )

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Product Placement

★
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$LAYYYTER
we're not kids anymore.

⁂
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"I'm Dorothy Gale from Kansas"
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@leschanceux
who's gonna save me now? some kind of hero? - an independent & selective multimuse rp blog, translated lovingly by birdie! ( she / her or they / them. )

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one day i will actually go to bed when i should.
@falling-for-a-fantasy ( hannah ) finds john sick and refusing to rest! -
john can't afford to take a sick day --- not now, not ever.
he feels worse than he's ever felt before; chest aching from the wet, racking coughs that keep ripping through him every couple of minutes or so; head pounding and eyes stinging; jersey and underlayers drenched in sweat ( though he's shivering ) as he fires puck after puck after puck at the empty net, only for each shot to go wide ( something he'll blame the goalie he's ninety percent sure is a hallucination of some kind ).
he has the vague idea that someone had walked in on this solo practice a while ago, said something to him about packing up and getting himself the fuck back into bed before he melts the ice with the fever he's surely suffering through, but whoever it might have been is long gone now, and he's alone with his stubbornness again.
finally running out of pucks, john caves a little and skates over to the bench for his water bottle, tipping his head back to take a sip ---- which only sets off another coughing fit when he realises that he's not as alone as he'd thought he'd been.
"oh, hey, wellsey." fuck, each word is like trying to swallow broken glass. "what're you doing here?"
@nerditudes:
( sms ) : you know you can tell me anything, right?
[ text; jack 🌟]; i know i can, but some things are better off unsaid.
BAD SITUATIONS: STARTERS
a collection of prompts for bad situations that two muses might find themselves in together, ranging from minor inconveniences to life-or-death scenarios. change & alter as needed.
Send 🌧️ for our muses to get caught in the rain together
Send 🪢 for our muses to be handcuffed together without the key
Send 🏆 for our muses to compete against each other in a competition or contest
Send 💡 for our muses to wait out a power outage together
Send ✈️ for our muses to wait for a delayed flight together
Send 🚗 for our muses to get stuck on the side of the road together when the car breaks down
Send 🔒 for our muses to get locked in a closet together
Send 🔑 for our muses to get locked out of the house / car together
Send 🚪 for our muses to get stuck in an elevator together
Send 🌳 for our muses to get lost in the woods together Send 🐺 for our muses to face down a wild animal together
Send 😱 for our muses to be forced to face their greatest fears together
Send ⛵ for our muses to be shipwrecked together
Send 🔐 for our muses to be captured / imprisoned together
Send ⚔️ for our muses to be forced into a fight to the death
Send 🧳 for our muses to get stranded in a different country together
Send 🚁 for our muses to go on the run from the law together
Send 🏝️ for our muses to get stranded on a desert island together
Send 🏠 for our muses to get trapped in a haunted house together
Send 🗡️ for our muses to get attacked by a third party
Send ❄️ for our muses to get trapped outside in a blizzard / snowstorm together
Send 🔥 for our muses to be trapped in a burning building together
Send 🚀 for our muses to be stuck in outer space together
Send ✨ for our muses to be stranded on a different planet together
Send 🌐 for our muses to be stranded in a parallel universe together

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short, angsty scenario prompts list for your angsty needs tws for drowning, injuries, illness
( yell ) : our muses get into a loud, heated argument
( splash ) : one muse rescues the other from drowning
( console ) : one muse finds the other sobbing uncontrollably
( cold ) : one muse finds the other frozen half to death outside
( hungry ) : one muse finds the other malnourished and hungry
( lost ) : one muse has broken / lost something important to the other
( injured ) : one muse finds the other wounded and tries to help them
( trauma ) : one muse finds the other just after a traumatizing experience
( illness ) : one muse is severely ill and the other finds them in a rough state
( guard ) : one muse protects the other from someone who wants to hurt them
( tired ) : one muse finds the other so exhausted they’re having trouble standing
( ground ) : one muse finds the other having a panic attack and helps ground them
( loss ) : one muse has just suffered a tragedy and comes to the other muse for comfort
' home, ' he repeated softly, looking around the space again. this was home. or, well, his gaze landed on hollander again. if anything, hollander was home. ilya hadn't felt settled until hollander had come into view. this house was comfortable, yes, but ilya had never been at home in places. home had always been people, and the last time he'd felt at home had been with his mother. ' did you pick out the house, or did i? i remember you like real estate, ' his lips turned up into a smile, a tease. he could remember, at least, the entire building hollander had bought just for their secret hook ups. it would make sense that hollander had been the one to pick out the house that became their home.
he cannot handle it when shane looks at him like that. those freckles are still there. ilya wasn't sure what he would have done if shane's freckles had disappeared in the years ilya couldn't remember. ' upset? no. no! ' how could he be upset? he lifted a hand, brushing his thumb gently over those freckles. ' so, i told you about her? how she died? '
"home," shane confirms, his voice just as soft as ilya's as he keeps his focus on the russian. he wonders how much - if anything - ilya can remember of them, of their life together. where are they, on ilya's internal timeline? have they made a home in each other yet, or are they still relative strangers? "we chose it together," he tells ilya with an amused smile, "my mom found us some listings and we chose our favourite." and there had definitely been more than one real estate fetish joke while they'd been looking, too ( and shane had kissed each one off ilya's laughs off his lips without caring about who could see them or what they were thinking ).
the thumb brushing over his freckles is a familiar move; shane can't help but relax into it, his smile softening around the edges until he's looking up at ilya with nothing short of adoration, arms looped around the russian's waist. "okay, okay- i'm glad you're not upset. i just know it must've been a shock." his hands find their way under ilya's shirt, his own thumbs stroking over the russian's hipbones. "yes, you told me about her. we... we have a photo, actually? if you want to see it."
THE DISCO CHAT STARBOARD
➠ @leschanceux / shane hollander asked : i don't want you catching the herp from Fucking troy barrett!
✘ ♕ ✘ "What the fuck?! How would I- We're not even- "
....
"Shane. You are my boyfriend. You know how this works, yes?"
"Well, you're always talking about him! What else am I supposed to think?"
...
"Yes, I know how herpes works! I had biology classes in high school!"
ㅤㅤㅤA 3/8 hollow? Wyatt straightens up from unlacing his toe tie-downs, considering the suggestion. The goalie knows he's on 5/8 right now, fairly flat for a 4mm blade, with a custom profile to his inside edge. It's a bit floaty, so the 3/8 might give him more bite, that's true. But…
ㅤㅤㅤ“Will that impact my shuffle, d'you think?” Hazy asks, looking to Gabe inquisitively. His eyes take on a curious, faraway glaze, flickering with the weight of his mental calculations. He says, ”…I guess we could try it during next practice. Maybe prime two sets of skates, just in case?"
ㅤㅤㅤIf the profile doesn't work, Wyatt is confident that Hollzy and Roz will let him know he's not getting across the crease like he should. Mostly by ruthlessly shooting pucks into his net every chance they get.
ㅤㅤㅤWhen the manager affirms his unbothered status, the goalie's expression changes. "Ahh…." Hayes says, his head tilting to one side, something knowing in his smirk, “…is this one of those situations where you wish someone wasbothering you? Y'know, in a Sexy way??”
ㅤㅤㅤFor all that the day of a professional hockey player can be incredibly long, Hazy is hyper aware that the Equipment Manager's days tend to be longer still. They're in the locker room before the team shows up, setting everything up, and they stay well after everyone else is done. Pads, skates, sticks, jerseys… none of the things that players depend on would be ready for them every time they needed it, if not for the staff. Wyatt knows from experience that dedication like theirs doesn't leave much time for dating.
"It'll definitely impact your shuffle," Gabe confirms, "it'll feel sort of sticky, take more effort - but your grip'll improve a lot. It's a trade-off, I guess, and it's really up to you because it's your game that'll be affected." He makes another note before tucking his pen behind his ear and giving Hazy a quick smile. "I can absolutely prime two sets of skates for you to try at practice, that's not a problem."
Someone will definitely give Hazy feedback about how his shuffle's affected, and that feedback will come back to Gabe one way or another, he's sure.
"Other than that, everything looks and feels okay? No damage or anything you need adjusting?"
He's never worked for a team like this one, where everybody is so close-knit and in each others' business. While not exactly a private person, Gabe doesn't really have the time for much of a private life, and especially not one he'd expected to share with a very fit man standing in only his very tight compression shorts.
"I may have befriended someone who works night shifts," the equipment manager mentions after a moment, taking his pen from behind his ear again to pretend to scribble something else he's just 'thought of' on his sheet of paper so he can avoid making eye contact for a little longer. "They might've invited me for a drink next week, but I might've taken a rain check." And he might be regretting it more than a little right now. Gabe's is not a job that is very conducive to a solid relationship, and he's too old really to be looking for casual hook-ups. "Maybe I'll get myself a hamster or something for company."
THE DISCO CHAT STARBOARD
please enjoy the nuggets of humor and wisdom that have made it to the starboard of the disco server i am in! feel free to change any names/pronouns to suit your needs!
i'm the mod!
______ knows his way around an allen wrench
those zamboni are olympians
i just reread it, and realized i made an unfortunate choice with my placement for 'fucking'
herpes is the least concerning thing ___________ has
i don't want you catching the herp from Fucking __________!
cool motive. still kidnapping
let him pull his vagina who cares
what team?
WILDCATS
GET YOUR HEAD IN THE GAME
The jurassic park theme is played whenever ________ steps into the ice
my chaos is organic
its like physics but instead of unstoppable force vs immovable object, its insatiable freak on top of insatiable freak
write smut but only use voice to text
well we don't need to take names out of the "no shit" pile
________ gonna wake up in a cold sweat
i dont trust either of yall using gatorade flavor's government names
me, writing a text and accidentally spelling "Hickey Camp" instead of "Hockey Camp." and well...
[............ math symbols flashing above his head] ....shit.
yes, but i am a pretty raccoon. make all the other boy raccoons go “woo!”
Omggg you get to decide if you want to meet the best couple, the best character, or like…._______? I guess? I love him too but he’s just _________
i cannot find this fucking hole
tell it it's got a weak backhand
you have to out write ___________ because you CANNOT let that wrinkly white man out write you
_________ thought he only had one nightmare, but surprise!
if these men were in touch with their emotions, we would have no books
the shark is gay! pass it on!!
the fuck is garlic mouth
this server is so good, it has lore
but _______'s got a chin for eating pussy
________ is consulting the sacred texts
but [person a]'s got [person b]-shaped tunnel vision and [person b]'s just chilling on the ice like a fish at the supermarket
i don’t even have balls and they still clenched in horror
don’t use your dick to stop the puck, bro.
i mean [person a] had to jerk off in front of him in the shower for [person b] to get that he was into him
Baddies can also be saddies, just look at ________
i now look like a crazy person, sitting alone in this bar, laughing into my taquitos
bisexuals love a good headboard, what can i say
"are you religious" Yes my religion is __________
damn, _______ is so hot that the entire world is now having to be reminded to hydrate???????
Gay Context™
oh no... can i be regular gay now?
the only thing straight about me is my drink haaaay
he liked it so much he immediately went to therapy afterwards
i beg your finest pardon.
you had planes this whole time?
jobs... 0/10 do not recommend
build your own burger, damn
christ on a bike
don’t fuck with fangirls
can't really bonk it with the horny stick

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i'm having a really bad day and some of my replies are not sparking joy so i think i'm going to do a bit of spring cleaning in my drafts pile and just see what else jumps out at me.
starter (still accepting) for @leschanceux (Gordy)
"I know why you wanted me to pick you up. I'll do my best to keep it from your mother, but I can't make any promises. She'll get suspicious. She'll start to ask questions. Now, tell me what is this all about? Why did you get in a fight with those boys?"
"She probably already knows," Gordy sighs, "they tried to call her first, but she's working." He's lucky his grandfather was able to come and get him, really --- even if he is asking the hard questions right away. "They were laughing at me," he says finally, quietly, "they didn't want to pick me for a team when we were playing rugby, and they were all laughing about it. So... I lost it."
PROMPTS FOR SILENT ACTIONS THAT SAY A LOT * i wrote these with the implication that the sender doesn't say a word before they perform the action. adjust as necessary, send 'reverse' for the reversal of the prompt
[ tug ] sender tugs receiver behind them during a tense moment
[ pull ] sender pulls receiver out of harm's way at the last second
[ tuck ] sender stares at receiver and quietly reaches up, tucking a fallen strand of hair behind receiver's ear
[ yank ] sender yanks receiver closer to them, ending up in semi-suggestive close proximity
[ steady ] sender grabs receiver's arm to steady them before they fall over
[ walk ] sender moves around receiver and walks closest to the street as they travel down the sidewalk, keeping receiver away from any potential danger in the roadway
[ untied ] sender drops to their knee and starts tying receiver's shoe for them
[ spoon ] sender lifts a spoon towards receiver's mouth, encouraging them to eat
[ trace ] sender traces receiver's lips with their thumb
[ pin ] sender pins receiver to a tucked-away spot in the shadows to avoid being caught
[ neck ] without a word, sender dips down to receiver's throat and kisses them soundly
[ handheld ] sender slips a hand behind their back and grabs receiver's fingers as they stand behind them
[ carry ] without asking, sender takes receiver's heavy bags from them and carries them
[ lock ] sender and receiver lock eyes across the room
[ drink ] sender brings receiver a drink and holds it to their lips, insisting they take a drink
[ reload ] sender reloads receiver's gun for them in the middle of a fight
[ shelter ] sender uses their body to shelter receiver from an explosion or attack
[ carry ] sender picks up receiver and carries them off the battlefield and into a safe spot before running back to the fight
[ toss ] from a secret hiding spot only receiver and sender can see as they avoid an enemy, sender silently gestures to receiver to toss them (their gun, something valuable, etc.)
[ stairs ] sender offers out a hand to help receiver ascend or descend a staircase
[ cover ] sender covers receiver's eyes so they don't witness something gruesome
[ fix ] sender comes up to receiver and fixes their collar and/or tie
[ shake ] to convince receiver not to do something, sender hastily shakes their head from a distance
[ watch ] from a distance, sender taps on their watch to show receiver they're running out of time
[ i'll go ] sender gently pushes receiver back, taking charge and insisting they will handle the dangerous task
[ reach ] through a locked gate, sender reaches for receiver's hand
[ ship ] as receiver's ship takes off from the planet, sender waves to them from the ground and watches them leave
[ protect ] after someone threatens receiver, sender rushes over and gets right in their face to protect them
[ punch ] after someone attacks receiver, sender rushes over and punches them in retaliation
[ nip ] sender playfully nips at receiver's neck
[ knuckles ] sender kisses receiver's knuckles in a polite gesture
[ squeeze ] sender gives receiver's butt a playful squeeze from behind
[ danger ] as an all-powerful receiver is about to lose control of their powers and cause massive damage, sender finds their eyes and tries to talk them down
[ goodbye ] without saying a word, sender approaches receiver and kisses them goodbye
[ wipe ] sender wipes a tear from receiver's face
[ location ] without saying anything and giving away the surprise, sender takes receiver to a secret spot
[ hold back ] sender has to hold back receiver from attacking someone
[ game ] sender lets receiver win a game they're playing
[ shower ] sender joins receiver in the shower they're taking
@hockeyborn asked “ why won’t you even look at me? ” -
the simple answer is that hurt people hurt people, and jj's no exception to that. he'd said some shitty things in the locker room after montreal's playoffs run had ended with shane's trip on the ice, and he hadn't seen either of his best friends since he'd decided that comeau and drapeau were better friends than the ones he was so angry at for keeping their stupid secrets from him when they were supposed to be brothers.
comeau and drapeau had fallen far short of the mark.
he's been avoiding shane's eye since they'd sat down at the place he'd invited hollander to - the familiar surroundings of the same restaurant he'd called shane to join him at on the night the x-squad cast had been in town, françois ( his buddy, the owner of djon-djon ) giving him a couple of drinks before shane had shown up for courage. all that courage has deserted him now - he's trying not to show how anxious he really is, fingertips gripping his glass just a little too tightly as he tries to keep the rest of his body language loose and open.
except... well, shane's noticed that jj can't meet his eye, apparently.
why won't you even look at me? the question is like a stick to the ribs without padding - it hurts, and jj sucks in a breath in the same way he would if he had actually been hit.
"...because i don't know what i'll see on your face," he answers in french, the honesty easier in his first language.
( text : vaughny ) it's too early for you to be trying to give me a heart attack ( text : vaughny ) ......are you calling me lazy , vaughny? ( text : vaughny ) see now it feels like a challenge ( text : vaughny ) you might have a point with the others though
[ text; cap ]; it's never too early for a heart attack, scotty. get it checked out! [ text; cap ]; i would never call you lazy! but if you want to come support, that would be awesome. [ text; cap ]; a good challenge though, right?? [ text; cap ]; the others definitely need a wake-up. coach agrees.

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the cold of the ice didn't bother him. in fact, he fucking loved it. he'd always been more at peace in the cold, but forced to bundle up to maintain appearances. now? alone on the ice long before the rest of the team would show up, he's just in a tshirt and jeans. he didn't even really need the skates but it felt wrong to go without them. so, on the ice ridiculously early, alone, taking a breath to just shoot pucks at the empty net. when he ran out of pucks, he used his own power to pull them back, the ice itself nudging them toward him.
he'd been on the ice for nearly an hour, not even the tip of his nose pink from the cold. and he probably would have kept going for another hour, using the ice to simulate passes before he shot, if not for the sound of sticks being dropped on the floor and an exhaled curse from the entrance to the ice. shane's head whipped to the side. ' fuck fuck, ' shane breathed. ' pike. hey. you're here early. ' how much did he see?
@leschanceux
hayden thinks, sometimes, that the ice accepts most players as its own, gives them a certain kind of protection from the cold. the temperature of the rink doesn't bother him as much as it did when he was a kid, though he's since learned how to layer up effectively. he's not quite as immune to the cold as some, it appears; he'd never dream of skating in just a t-shirt and jeans the way shane is doing right now, but hey --- some guys just run hotter than others.
watching his best friend on the ice is like magic; shane is both graceful and powerful, almost otherworldly as he skates and shoots the pucks at the net. hayden moves when shane shoots the last puck, moves to the entrance of the ice as he's expecting a break in the drill shane's running solo, but hollander continues --- by manipulating the ice to bring the pucks back to himself? okay. hayden blinks stupidly, drops his stick on instinct. he thinks he swears too - and judging by the way shane's head snaps toward him, he has. out loud. "i came to try and perfect that trick you showed me last time," he responds, his own voice muffled in his ears as if he's underwater. "how did you-?"
✘ ♕ ✘ Ilya had actually known about the Lions. He did some research on Haas when he was first drafted to their team, wanting to knowing all that he could about his new teammate. The little anecdote about the former coach, though, was entirely new. It sounded as though this Meier was actually a good guy. Probably a better leader than he certainly was, Ilya thought to himself. Too much of the time, he felt as though his mind was buried in his own woes, making him feel too selfish to be a good, attentive captain.
It was the final quip that caused his mouth to fall open in mock outrage. "Jealous?? No, is not jealous, is common sense. Rozanov is great name for a dog! Ask my fans, there are dogs with my name. Your loss." He nudged the other playfully with his shoulder.
"Go with Max," he finally added with sincerity. "Is like dog in Little Mermaid"
"Meier was a good Captain," Luca pushes forward, his teasing grin softening into a smaller smile as he rubs at the side of his nose a little awkwardly, avoiding Ilya's eye for a second for fear of the potential judgement he might be faced with when he utters his next sentence, "---but I wanted to be you when I grew up." The poster on his childhood bedroom wall had been a present from his father after his childhood team had won a championship match, the mhl game with rozanov on the front a gift for his birthday the same year.
"If I call my dog Rozanov in Ottawa and we go to the park, people are going to think I'm yelling about you." And there's no way he wants to invite people to stare at him in a public place ( sometimes he feels a little like Superman when he's out in the wild; he deosn't tend to get too much attention, but his glasses give him some kind of anonymity from all but the most observant of fans - most of whom seem to be the kids, if he's honest ). Nobody ever expects a hockey player to wear glasses.
"...There was a dog in the Little Mermaid?" He's never even seen it. "Max is a solid name, right?"