Girls Like Girls

Took you long enough to figure it out idiot

Plot twist. It’s the same ship.

Plot twist. It's the same fic.

Plot twist. It still hasn't updated.

Plot twist. The author updated after a decade thanks to your nice comment.

I want to be a white dad in a horror movie

Currently moving my brunette wife and our dejected children into an abandoned ghost factory for a fresh start

Honey, don't worry about our daughter's new habit of standing in front of the security camera in her playroom and murmuring about bones every night. That's probably just something women do

Why shouldn't our son play in the pitch black sub-basement that was walled shut with bricks until I started renovations? He's a growing boy

Finally caving to my wife's irrational fear and typing "ghosts?" into the Google search bar

I really feel this.

“Everypony” <== pisses everyone off.  flawless

honestly if tumblr unbanned NSFW we could enter like a golden age

twitter would have absolutely no appeal then

twitter has no appeal Now

how many hands you got

two? don’t see how that’s relevant

that’s still four people

will smith isn’t gay. he has a wife and three beautiful, talented children

I can’t believe this post predicted the live action Aladdin genie

If we lose tumblr how will we ever replace these posts in which every reply feels like a punch in the face

[OPENS FRIDGE, REMOVES TUPPERWARE CONTAINER LABELLED "Pomegranates from land of dead do not eat"]

[I REMOVE A SECOND CONTAINER LABELLED "Fairy apples do not eat (Autumn Court)]

[I APPROACH THE BLENDER]

question to all girls

where tf do you put your titters when you go to sleep

In the titter drawer, you neanderthal.

My favourite type of movie is “period piece romance but fantasy-horror hijinks happen and now everyone has to adapt to the new genre or die,” ala Curse of the Black Pearl, Anastasia, The Mummy (1999)

"everybody has to adapt to the new genre" is really criminally underutilized in general