Leonardo DiCaprio

Those are some... interesting things you want to own, and how dare people tell you no! How about I get you stuffed animal versions of those things?

So i’ve officially learnt i have zero poker face. Like none. I last about 2.2 seconds in a staring contest. Which, should’ve been something i knew long before when me and my sister used to play the corpse game as kids, which isn’t as morbid as it sounds, i was just never gonna get cast as a believable dead body. I feel like this is something i need to work on. Do people train other people to get a perfect poker face? Is this a thing? Does anyone wanna teach me, specifically before Sunday so i can challenge everyone to a staring contest at Paleyfest. They give me a shit ton of Tequila every year before the panel, so it’ll be a given i’ll gain many skills before going out on that stage. And before anyone says anything, thinking about sad things doesn’t work. I just start crying.

Tequila and a staring contest. See I wouldn’t even make it past the fact I had to sit down and stare at someone. Tequila is just bad news! I would guess imagine the person not funny? or... interesting? Zone out! 

So last night i may or may not have fooled the whole world…with this Instagram picture i posted with myself wearing an engagement ring….but over all the engagement party was so much fun…but no it wasn’t mine sadly.

You... are engaged? You are cheating on  me! How could you wife! I’m going to go drown now. 

You know the movie Stuart Little? Yeah, it’s all cute and heartwarming and makes you kind of want a mouse, but think about it. Say you were a child in that orphanage with Stuart the mouse and a couple came in to adopt a child- Maybe you- And they walked out with a freakin’ mouse. I would be pissed. People wanting a mouse over a child when push comes to shove. Idiots should have gone to a pet store. 

That would have pissed me off. I would have been locked up for sure after my little freak out of, you wanted a MOUSE?!

Have you ever thought about all the animals who are out there that could kill you. I’ve been watching 72 most dangerous animals in Australia, I am so scared I mean, yes we don’t have the same animals here. But still like I don’t want to leave the condos any more. Somebody take me to the bounce room because I can hide in there. 

...... I think I’m going to just say don’t go to the places where those animals are and you will be okay! I hate spiders. Their spiders are massive. 

I was warned that once you start getting tattoos you’ll just keep wanting more and more and I think ‘they’ (whoever they are) might be right. Maybe I’ve just had too much time on my hands, but I think I’ve narrowed my list of possibilities from about thirty to just a handful - anyone else have this problem or is this just a me thing?

Favorite Drink? I would have to say anything that comes out of Jamba Juice. That place is my weakness. 

While staying up late the other night watching Naked & Afraid advertisements for a new online dating site keep playing. At first, I thought it was a joke and paid no mind to the commercial but after the third time curiosity got the best of me. It’s legit. COUARLIFE.COM you guys. At what age is it appropriate to call yourself a cougar because COUGAR LIFE! “Meet Divorcees, Single Moms and Sexy Singles looking for a young Stud! Start searching right now! - It’s easy“. There are over 8 million members! I really want to see what ‘young studs’ are trolling this site looking for ladies.

Oh lord. Did you see the farmer one?! For all the lonely farmers out there?