aliyah

which brings you back to right now, where friends would be really amazing. or maybe a phone that wasn't dead.

'damn i need to get my shit together.'

you had seen the same guy for three blocks now. every time you would nonchalantly glance behind you, that same man in a red hoodie would be a behind you. he was pretty far away, but he was always there. you didn't want to assume he wanted to kidnap and assault you, but in today's world no one would blame you for being a little paranoid. you had no idea what to do until you saw a group of guys hanging around a street lamp in front of a shop. it was late so the shop wasn't open, but they didn't seem to care. they looked to be taking pictures and laughing.

'they seem nice enough.'

you immediately increase your pace until you're right beside one of them; a tall, black-haired man, sporting an earring and a very fashionable outfit. there were three guys in total and they all seemed to be around your age, (and very attractive.)

they immediately looked at you in confusion.

they didn't seem too weirded out though, so you took that as your chance.

"i'm so so sorry to interrupt, but i think there's a guy following me and i've been walking for a little bit because my friends were supposed to meet me but they stood me up and my phone died and i was wondering if i could stand with you because i don't know what-"

"woah woah, slow down," one of the other guys, who had (beautiful) long blonde hair and baby blue eyes, put his hands up, "you think someone's following you?" his eyebrows knit in concern and you feel your heart flutter.

"yeah, i think. he's wearing a red hoodie and black pants. i don't really know that he's following me per say, but he's been walking behind me for a while and i get kind of paranoid about this stuff." you frown because you suddenly realize you might be blowing this out of proportion.

"no, i understand. it's better to be cautious." the same boy replies with a smile that almost knocks you off your feet. you give him a shy smile in return.

"you can stay with us for a little bit if you want. at least until you feel safe enough to leave." the third boy tells you and you could've kissed him with how grateful you felt.

"thank you so much, i know this is weird, but i really appreciate it." you say honestly.

"don't thank us, you're just scared for your safety so we'd be happy to help you." the blonde boy that caught your eye says this and your heart melts.

what do they say about love at first sight?

"so i guess we should introduce ourselves," the black haired boy next to you speaks up, "my name is chris, and this is luis," he gestures to the brown haired boy in front of you who gives you a smile and wave, "and this is leon." the very nice-looking blonde boy gives a smile.

"i'm yn, it's really nice to meet you guys." you give your own smile and hope it conveys how grateful you are.

"yn," leon says almost absent-mindedly, "that's a nice name, i like it." he meets your eyes and you have to look away to try (fail) to hide your blush at the unexpected compliment.

"wait-" luis starts, "didn't you say the guy had a red hoodie and black pants?" he asks you.

"yeah, do you see him?" you don't look back, partly because you're a little scared.

"yeah, he's just standing against that wall. he’s not moving, but he keeps looking over here." luis frowns.

"oh my god-" you start to tear up. you don't mean to seem like a cry baby, but you've never been in a situation like this before and you'd be lying if you said you weren't thinking about all of the news stories you’d heard about women getting kidnapped and found dead, or worse.

you almost feel yourself spiral into a panic attack until you feel a pair of hands grab your arms.

"yn? hey, it's alright. we won't let anything happen to you, okay?" leon trains his ocean eyes on you and you can tell in that moment you couldn't be safer.

leon lets go of you and you take deep breaths to calm yourself down.

"okay, yeah— yeah, i'm sorry, it's just been a long night." you rub a hand over your forehead.

you all stand and talk for a little bit before chris notices and points out that the unknown man is starting to move towards the four of you.

"he's what? oh shit shit shit—" before you can completely go crazy, leon comes to the rescue, again.

"hey, remember what i said? we won't let anything happen to you, and i mean that. just stay back okay? let us handle him." leon moves you behind him to use his body as a shield.

you see the man stop in front of the three guys and you can tell they're all sizing him up.

"is there a problem?" leon is the one who speaks up first, his arms crossed and by his posture you can tell he's tense.

you try not to pay attention to the way his shoulder muscles strain against his jacket.

"no problem. just trying to get to that little lady right there." his words slur and he makes eye contact with you to give you a crooked smile that makes your stomach twist.

"that's too bad actually, because she doesn't want anything to do with you. so i think it's time you left and stopped bothering her." chris speaks this time, a warning in his tone.

"come on man, i just want to have some fun. she obviously wants it, look at what she's wearing. slut." you flinch at the harsh word and cave in on yourself.

leon is seething and steps towards the man aggressively, but is held back by luis.

"just get the fuck away dude, she doesn't know you and you're being a creep. leave before we call the cops." luis says in a calm, but serious tone.

the man stays silent for a second as if asking himself if it's worth the trouble. evidently it's not, because he starts to walk away.

"whatever. she's ugly anyways." he flips his middle finger up as he walks down a nearby alley way, out of sight.

"what a fucking asshole." leon says angrily, arms still crossed and posture tense.

"yeah he was a jerk, but at least he left." chris says in relief.

you don't say anything as you process what happened.

he called you a slut and then proceeded to call you ugly in the very next sentence. what was wrong with people?

you start to feel self-conscious, so you put your arms around your middle and back away from the guys a little, wanting to hide and cry forever.

leon turns around and his anger seems to melt away and is instead replaced with a look of concern.

"yn, are you okay? don't listen to anything that dick said, he was stupid." he looks you in the eyes and you can feel gentleness and care radiating off of him.

you don't say anything, opting to look sideways at the ground.

"are you cold? do you want my jacket?" leon starts to shrug off his jacket and before you can even protest, he places it around your shoulders. it dwarfs you, but you’re grateful for his kind gesture.

"thank you. i'm sorry i got you guys into that, but i'm really glad you helped me, im really lucky." you say sincerely, hoping they can hear it in your voice.

they all smile at you and you realize it's probably time for you to go home. for some reason this thought makes you sad.

"um—" you start quietly, "could someone call me an uber? my phone's dead and i don't really feel up for walking." 

"actually, is it okay if i give you a ride instead? after what happened, i'd feel better if i drove you myself." leon says while scratching his head, not making eye contact. 

he looks, nervous?

"oh, yeah, i'd appreciate that, thank you." you give him a smile and he gives you one back.

after parting with the other two guys and giving them plenty thanks for helping you, you follow leon to his car which happened to be parked right across the street.

"wow, this is your car?" you ask in disbelief. “it's so—"

"awesome?" leon interjects playfully.

"expensive." you finish.

leon lets out an airy laugh and you swear you've never heard a sweeter sound.

he opens the passenger side for you, before getting into the driver's seat.

the ride to your apartment is silent except for the radio playing softly throughout the car.

"here we are." leon puts the car in park but neither of you move.

"thank you again for tonight. i don't know what would've happened if you and your friends weren't there." you say playing with your hands, a nervous tic.

"again, don't thank me. i'm just glad we were able to help you." you look at him and see him already staring at you with a smile on his face.

you can't help but notice how beautiful he is. the way his hair is almost falling in his eyes makes you want to brush it away.

you blush and look away.

"well i guess i should leave now." you sit still.

"yeah i guess you should." he sits still.

it takes you all of 30 seconds to finally get out of the car, giving leon a goodbye and another ‘thank you’, receiving another ‘don't thank me’ in return.

you're walking away from his car to your apartment complex when you hear leon shout your name.

you turn around to see leon getting out of his car and jogging towards you.

oh shit, his jacket.

you start to take it off and utter apologizes before he stops you.

"no no, that's not what i came for." he holds out a piece of paper with what you're assuming is his phone number.

you take it in shock and look up to see him smiling down at you.

"have a good night yn." leon turns around and walks back to his car. 

just before he gets in, he turns back to you.

"and keep the jacket, it looks cuter on you anyway." he leaves.

all of this should be enough to comfort you enough to calm you down, (it does) but you just feel so helpless. helpless that you can't express your emotions and feelings like leon can seem to do so easily.

and so you cry.

you cry because even though you can't always say what you're feeling, leon seems to know anyways. because leon is so soft and his presence can bring the greatest warmth on the coldest day and you feel like you do the exact opposite.

leon kisses the top of your head and pulls back to hold your face in his hands. he wipes away his beautiful partner's tears with the pad of his thumb and hates that he can't do the same to all the worries running around in your head.

"baby look at me." you hesitate but you trust leon with your life, your feelings, and everything else. so you look into leon's eyes and feel and see the love pouring out of them like honey.

"there you are. hi my love" leon smiles and he sees the way your eyes light up, even if it's only a little.

when he senses you still don't feel like talking, leon speaks up again.

"you don't have to talk right now. i understand, and i will wait for you forever." leon can already see the negative thoughts clouding your brain as he says that, so he quickly starts again.

"but don't you ever feel bad for it. i'm here for you because i want to be. you're not forcing me to be here, so please don't feel guilty. you have been there for me every time i've needed it so let me be here for you." leon holds both of your hands in his and squeezes ever so slightly as if to transfer his sincerity through his touch.

you search leon's eyes and see nothing but love and comfort. you know leon's right. you shouldn't feel bad. you were dating after all. but you can't help it, years of self-deprecating thoughts eating away at you.

you aren't good enough.

leon doesn't really care about you, he's only pretending.

why would he care about someone who's so messed up and broken?

you mean nothing to him.

you're useless.

leon could do so much better than you.

you cant do anything right.

you're such a fucking—

"hey love you're okay, it's okay, i'm here." you come back to yourself with your head pressed in between your knees, breathing erratically. leon's hand is running up and down your back.

"you're okay. you started to have a panic attack but you're okay." leon says in a soft voice.

i'm okay.

it'll be okay.

your breathing slowly, but surely, goes back to normal, your eyelids suddenly feeling heavy.

"come on baby, let's get you to bed, you look exhausted." leon lovingly helps you up and guides you to the side of the bed. you start to protest and tell leon you can do it yourself, but if you're being honest with yourself, you like being babied by your boyfriend every once in a while.

leon lifts the covers for you to slide under and pulls them up to your chin. he gently pushes aside a lock of your hair and gives you a light kiss on your forehead.

"leon i'm sor-" you start.

"nope. none of that. you have nothing to apologize for." leon insists as he sits on the edge of the bed.

"go to sleep. you need to rest." leon smiles down at you softly brushing his fingers through your hair.

your eyes began to droop, sleep evident in them.

leon could tell you were resisting sleep in favor of staying up with him, and he smiles at the thought.

"sleep baby, i'm right here. i'll always be right here with you."

as if a switch was flicked in your brain, you let your eyes shut and your mind wander somewhere else.

although leon knew what drowning in negative thoughts felt like, he also still found it hard to believe that his beautiful, loving, and caring partner could feel so bad about themself.

to leon, you were the most kind-hearted, hard-working, goal-driven person he'd ever seen. he found it sad how much you believed these lies you'd made up about yourself.

you lay peacefully, eyebrows not tense for the first time that evening.

leon knew it would take time, but he'd make it his personal goal to make sure you knew just how loved and important and wanted you were.

for now though, leon crawled on the bed alongside his partner and wrapped them up in his arms, pulling your back to his chest.

"you're okay. everything will be okay."

He wrapped his arms around you and pulled you closer, reveling in the warmth of your body against his. Your soft breath tickled his skin as he nuzzled his face into the crook of your neck. The world outside your cocoon of blankets seemed to fade away as he focused on the feeling of your presence, the comforting rhythm of your breathing.

"Good morning, beautiful," he whispered, his voice barely above a murmur.

You stirred, a sleepy smile tugging at the corners of your lips. "Mmm, good morning," you replied, your voice laced with drowsiness.

You both lay there for a few minutes, simply basking in each other's embrace, savoring the quiet intimacy of the early morning. The world felt calm and serene, untouched by the chaos that awaited you later in the day.

Eventually, Leon's second alarm chimed, signaling the start of their day. Reluctantly, he released his hold on you and leaned over to turn off the alarm.

"Time to get up, babe," he said, placing a gentle kiss on your forehead.

You let out a small groan, not quite ready to leave the comfort of your bed. "Just a few more minutes, please?"

Leon chuckled, understanding your desire to linger a little longer. "Alright, but just a few. We can't stay here forever."

He snuggled you again, your limbs intertwined, hearts beating in sync. The minutes passed by in a blissful haze, until Leon's voice broke the silence once more.

"Okay, love, it's time to start the day," he said softly, brushing a strand of hair away from your face.

“baby? what’s wrong? are you okay?” his face holds a look of concern as he can sense your shift in mood.

“i just-“ you can’t seem to find the right words to describe what you’re feeling and start to feel bad you did anything at all, “it’s nothing, leon. i’m okay.” you try to give a small smile but you can tell he’s not convinced.

he puts a hand on your face, stroking your cheek softly with his thumb.

“you can tell me anything, my love. what’s wrong?” he gently probes. 

you look down at your lap, shy. he bends his head to try and look you in the eye.

“come on beautiful, tell me.” he moves his hand down to your hands that start to shake slightly.

“i just- sometimes feel like i’m too big.” you blurt out and your heart races as you wait for leon’s response.

“too big?” leon asks, surprised.

you don’t dare move, afraid to look leon in the eye.

just as you’re about to apologize, hands are suddenly gripping your thighs and you gasp in surprise.

“too big?” leon asks again, incredulous. “surely you can’t be serious,” leon almost pleads as he continues to squeeze your thighs.

you sit shocked as you watch leon stare at you like the most delicious meal he can’t wait to eat.

leon maneuvers you on your back and places himself between your legs as he hovers over you. his entire demeanor changes.

“god you just have no idea—” he leans down to place a rough kiss on your lips, “what you do to me.” he drags his mouth down your neck, your chest, your stomach, kissing and biting like he’ll lose any part of you that he doesn’t touch. his hands roam, gripping your hips that seem to be molded specifically for his hands.

your breathing picks up and you feel yourself melting into him like putty.