Leni Davies

“You know that forever isn’t the same as yesterday right..?!”, Tyra continued joking, hoping that the other had been serious by saying she wouldn’t thump her with the little boy in her arms. The first shock had slowly started to decrease and she couldn’t deny that she already started picturing the little family she hoped they would be in the future. And Matteo clearly loved Gracie, so there was definitely a chance that he would love his own child as well, wasn’t it..?! “Just know that in case one of them vomits on the floor, I won’t be the one to clear it up!”, she said with a genuine grin on her face, although they probably both knew that she wouldn’t be mad at her best friend if that would be the case. At Leni’s next comment, she simply nodded. She was right after all, her life had never really been how she had imagined it and still she couldn’t really complain about it. “Alright, alright.. I get it!”, raising both her hands, she grinned at her friend, “I’ve already went to see a doctor though, as you said, I know how this shit works!”

“No, really? God you’re smart, did you write the dictionary?” Leni asked the other sarcastically, sucking in a loud gasp as if to further illistrate her point. Rocking her son back and forth as she spoke to Tyra she saw her face starting to relax, allowing the new mother to do the same, which was a relief for everyone. “Just know that if one of them vomits on the floor you will be the one to clean it up because i’m holding a baby plus in all likelihood it’s fucking vomited down me as well, so i’ll be dealing with that. You forget how much I used to clean up Gracie’s puke.” She cackled, rolling her eyes dramatically. “Apart from when I was out, or strung out, but you are neither of those things so no excuses mama.” That was a new nickname Leni had decided to give to her friend, since she was going to be one again, plus she’d started using it more and more when talking to her own children so it tripped off the tongue easily. “Good! Wait you have! Fuck off, how far along are you then? Why don’t you tell me these things! I need to know how much older than your baby the boys will be, so I can work out if that makes sense for the wedding. Although I’m sure it will.” She laughed, twinkle in her eyes. “As well as work out when to book my holiday so I don’t have to listen to you screaming while you’re in labor.”

“you sound like my mum” julian blurted out when leni was praising him for drinking the water. only after a few moments he realised what he had said and it made him chuckle and shake his head.  “yeah you’re right. I have never had anyone do something for me in my life. I won’t even let my adopted family in on some stuff. they hardly know what really went down in my life.” he said with a shrug. he wasn’t intending on telling leni the whole story but he knew that she was right. deep down he knew that he wanted to give violet a chance. after all, he didn’t know the whole story yet and he had never been one to judge other people quickly. “I’m glad you found someone like him” julian continued with a genuine smile. he didn’t care if it sounded weird because the two had only known each other for about an hour. 

Leni snorted, covering her eyes with her hand as he said she sounded like his mum for two reasons. One considering the topic of their general discussion, but also because that wasn’t who she’d ever wanted to be but it was who she had quickly become now. “Yeah well you should fucking give it a go then mate, it’s actually kinda useful. I was taught that I had to make sure I did everything myself and did it perfectly, but look how I turned out. So that ain’t a good route.” Breaking out into a grin she nodded slightly, eyes soft. “Thanks man, I’m really glad I did too. It’s been weird, like he already has two kids before we had our twins, and we’ve been official for only like….one fifth of how long we’ve been … friends with benefits or whatever people call it, but it’s working for us. So we’re happy. Give Vi a chance, you deserve to be happy too. I don’t fucking know you from a strangers left tit but I like you already.”

Cecily: Okay, I understand that.

Cecily: Plot twist of the century, for sure. Are you now Leonard?

Cecily: I can come to you so you don't have to worry about the children.

Leni: Am I now? I've always been Leonard you've just never looked closely enough.

“Weird question…I know but do you think you could help me rub some sunscreen on my back. I burn quite easily and unfortunately can’t reach.”

“Sure mate, hold on, take your bikini top off. Like undo the string at the back or I ain’t going to be able to get it all over i’m not trying to look at your tits. Like two years ago if I’d said that it would certainly have been to see some nip, but i’m innocent now.” Leni grinned, sitting herself down on the grass next to the blonde woman holding her hand out for the suncream bottle.

“Really?! Since when..?!”, raising both her eyebrows, Tyra pretended to be surprised at the others comment, probably a sign that she slowly started to calm down again if she was able to joke around with her friend. And watching Leni around her two little boys, she couldn’t deny that maybe it wouldn’t be that bad at all to have another child. Gracie would probably be over the moon to get a little brother or sister as well. “I know he does, I really do. And I know you will be there for me as well as lots of other people. But it is still scaring you know..? I just didn’t really imagine my life to be this way right now..”

“Since fucking forever, don’t make me thump you while I’m holding a baby it wouldn’t look very good eh?” She grinned, relieved to see that she was once again ready to joke around like they normally did, even if it was just a small one. The only thing Leni wanted was for her friend to be okay. “Oh shit, I need one of the muslins, I bet you he’s going to puke on me. He’s such a puking kid, the other one isn’t but I swear Felix just vomits up everything I give him. Sleeps better, keeps things down worse, nightmare.” The girl tutted, standing up carefully to try and find the cloth in her bag while still holding the little boy. “Good, because he really fucking does. Your life hasn’t been what you imagined since you were sixteen babe, it’s not only starting to be different now we both know that. This is exciting, you’re going to have a baby! Smile, it’s going to be okay I promise. Allow yourself to be fucking excited about it! We gotta get you to the doctor though to find out how far along you are, you know how this shit works.”

julian didn’t know what leni was talking about when she mentioned a divorce but he decided to not ask about it and find out himself. he didn’t want to make this situation even more awkward than it already was. he gratefully reached for the glass of water that the brunette had ordered for him and took a large sip. it felt good to get something down his throat that didn’t burn and he felt his mind instantly clear up a tiny bit. “I’m sorry to hear that” he said after a while. “yeah I guess. I hardly had anyone do something for me in my life and I always had to get it myself, so I guess I am not that good at letting people take care of me.” he shrugged and took another sip of water. “fuck!” he exclaimed and took his head into his hands. he didn’t want this evening to go this way and he just wanted it to go all away for a little while. 

Leni was kinda relieved when she saw him take the water without arguing because putting her foot down right now seemed like a lot of effort, plus she didn’t fancy being a parents to him when she was meant to be having time off from that. “Good lad, finish the glass and you’ll feel a fuck load better. Take it from an ex junkie. Not that it helped with that, but still, I know some shit.” She grinned cheekily, taking a gulp of her own drink with a shrug. “Shit happens right? I mean, we both got away so it’s in the past. Just like…let your real mum have her moment to try and make it up to you if you can cos she’s a good person. There is a lot more to it than any of us know I think.” It wasn’t her place to start explaining anything, plus she didn’t really have any kind of friendship with Violet but since she’d been so good to Leni recently she owed her this little booster talk. “You and me both with the people taking care of me thing, although that changed with Benji, sometimes It’s kinda good to give yourself a break.”

Antoine: Well, he knows her better than I do. I love her Leni, I love Gracie but I'm just wondering if we're doing the right thing. Maybe bringing me into her life now is not okay. I'm just lost and he doesn't make things easier.

Antoine: I'm doing everything I can to make things right but it looks useless. I'm not giving up, I'm just tired already.

Antoine: And you've blamed me in the past, don't deny it. And don't blame it on hormones.

Leni: Mate she’s a kid, she is eight years old she just wants to love and be loved. So show her love, if it wasn’t the right thing Tyra would have told you to fuck off by now.


Leni: Well take a nap and then get back on the fucking horse!! I get being tired, but you’re her dad, come on, you don’t wanna look back in eight more years when she’s sixteen and wish you’d stuck at it.

Cecily: not if you look at it that way haha.

Cecily: I just need to hang out with someone that not a male or my sister.

Cecily: we could sit and watch films for all I care.

Leni: I need to fucking look at it anouther way before I go mental.

Leni: Okay...well then I have to tell you something. I'm actually a dude.

Cecily: what are you doing?

Cecily: I need a girls night, you free?

Leni: I'm a new mother, I'll never be free again.

Listening to everything her best friend told her, Tyra couldn’t help but start thinking that maybe she was right. The situation she was in right now actually was much better than the one all those years ago. Which is why she simply nodded, trying to force a little smile on her face. “Yeah, maybe you’re right..”, she eventually mumbled, her smile becoming even wider at her next comment. No matter how much Leni had worried about being a mother before and no matter how much she was still sometimes complaining, in Tyra’s opinion, she was doing an amazing job. “He’s not always like this!”, she immediately insisted when the topic came back to Matteo. She knew perfectly well herself how cool he could be sometimes but then again he could as well be one of the most caring people she’d ever met. “Why am I not surprised you told him something like that though..?”, she finally added, her smile turned into a wide grin by now.

Leni looked at Tyra for a moment with a stern glare before breaking out into her lazy trademark grin. “Babe i’m always right so there is no reason for you to sound so surprised. I’m fucking amazing at everything.” Tapping the bottle that was attached to the pump in a vein attempt to get it to fill up faster she sighed heavily, pulling it off so she could better lift her son into her arms. “Hi my little prince, are you hungry? We’re going to have to work on your patience or we’re going to be butting heads a lot in the next eighteen years.” She smirked, helping him calm down before turning back to her friend. Leni was going to hold off on feeding him for as long as possible, trying to get a little more milk into the bottle as she attached it to herself again. “The cow machine. Don’t you love the cow machine? And I know he’s not, that’s what i’m telling you, stop panicking because it’s not like he’s never giving you any kind of affectionate words or something. He loves you, he just…maybe doesn’t say it as much as you’d want him to. Also you’re welcome, i’ll actually follow through on it too. You know I fucking will.”

Her attempt to contain his laughter only makes it harder to do so himself, although Nathaniel is doing his best to keep his lips sealed and stop the desire to. “.. I am, yes. We are not together but.. I do care a lot about her..” Charlotte being brought to the conversation is the cause for that stupid smile, although it set a weird feeling throughout his body to even imagine kids with the same girl he’s fallen for when their relationship was so recent. “Are the twins coming home with you and Benjamin?” Nathaniel was fairly aware of her situation, knowing enough to ask questions. “If you need anything, just give me the name of the doctor that is taking care of you, I’ll have a word with them..” 

“We’re not together but I do care a lot about her…wow that’s every girls fucking dream you know that right? A dude that cares a lot about them but ain’t dating them. Actually don’t listen to me because that actually was my dream situation for lie…years. Maybe your girl is the same.” She grinned, glancing sideways when she noticed his huge grin, raising her eyebrow. “Hello goofy grin, you fucking alright there? Seems like you care about her more than you’re letting on eh? Yeah they’ll come home with me and Benji, they didn’t want to let me out before the twins because they were so little but they were responding to breast milk so well they wanted me to keep feeding them blah blah blah. It’s all very boring.” She waved off the situation, secretly hoping that they’d get to go home sooner rather than later. “Yeah? Ah nice one mate, thanks. I think we’re alright at the moment but i’ll keep you posted. Wait, how come you’re still on shift?”

Sam wished she could toss something at her. “Keep that shit to yourself babe” she retorted, grinning in a teasing manner. Leni pulling her breast out barely phased her, after all, breastfeeeding was apart of the whole motherhood thing after all. Laughing, she looked back down at the baby in her arms. “That would be fuckin’ funny honestly. Bleach your hair and then you’ll fit right in.” She rose a brow. “I knew you liked spendin’ time with me. I’ll see if Brayford can bring it over for me. If not, I’ll pick it up and come right back.” She couldn’t really say no to spendin’ time with the kids. And hey, maybe being around them would make the struggle that was paperwork, that much easier.

“You sure you don’t want to hear about it in more detail lovely, you might enjoy it, I promise i’ll make it nice and juicy.” The woman joked, breaking out into a cheeky grin before finally letting herself sit back so the second little boy could eat properly without her bending over. “You fucking joke but i’ve thought about it, then everyone will think I’m Emmy and Alec’s mom too and we can basically just pretend that that bitch ex doesn’t even exist, it’s the perfect crime.” Along with her always enjoying spending time with Sam she did also want the other two kids to see her because they always loved that. Their little faces would light up almost instantly when they saw her. “Alright, sounds like a dope plan, then it only leaves me alone with the screaming machines for a little while. I’m kidding baby, mama would never talk about you like that.” She cooed to the boy in her arms.

Sam scoffed. “Can’t even live alone yet look after another human bein’,” she remarked, the negativity seeping its way into what Leni had probably meant as a joke. Raising a brow, she shook her head. “Ain’t met any people more stubborn then you.” It almost felt normal, the two of them bantering like they could with few others. It was always handy when you got along really well with your faux little brother’s girlfriend. Dammit. Of course it couldn’t last. She hated that question. How are you doing? It changed everyday, usually spiraling around the more negative side of things. There was no point in asking she felt. “Crap. Ain’t surprisin’ though.”

“Well if there is one thing we’re fucking sure of it’s that tact has never been my thing.” Leni pulled a face that showed her feeling of slight awkwardness over her own idiocy, sitting back in the chair with a sigh as she pushed her left hand through her hair. Breaking out into a grin she shrugged with mock modesty, doing a tiny flourishing sitting down bow. “Well what can I say, we’ve all got our talents, mine is being a stubborn prick and I take that job very seriously.” The question might be an obvious one but Leni had to ask it, because otherwise it looked like she didn’t care which couldn’t be less true honestly. If anything she cared about Sam just as much as she cared about her own sister, although that wasn’t saying much considering her family history. “That’s true mate, plus hospitals are shit so that ain’t going to be helping much right? Have they said anything about letting you out anytime soon?”

“What did ye expect?” He had always been a bit of a jackass. His father had loved and hated him for his rascal ways, and had more than once had to show up in the director’s office. Although violence did not become a thing until he was in his late teens, it was usually about a twelve-year-old Leroy smoking at the bike rack. Not a habit he was proud of and one that he insisted he would one day stop, but that day just hadn’t come yet. He nodded slowly, knowing that another ‘I’m sorry’ wasn’t going to change anything. Words weren’t going to change the hurt he’d done, if anything would help, it would have to be his actions. 

He sighed. He wasn’t going to lie to her. “I still do some.. dodgy stuff. But if you’re willin’ to give me another chance, I promise I will never have anything on me when I come an’ see you.” That was a promise he would not break. “If you really are..” he dropped his voice to a whisper, “..clean, I wouldn’t do shit to fuck that up. That’s really good, Leni.” 

“Honestly don’t fucking know what I ever expect anymore, nothing even turns out that way anyway. I’m living proof of that. I always thought by twenty six i’d be dead in a gutter with a needle sticking out of my arm, well look who i’m talking to, we both thought that’s where I’d be didn’t we?” her face was stony but there was a tiny twinkle in her eye, the only indication that she was actually just fucking sound with him because of the way they’d left it last time they’d seen each other. Although if Leroy managed to see that was still up in the air, though not very important. Letting out a soft sigh she ended up just shaking her head, giving the man a small smile. “Doesn’t mean I’m not fucking curious about what you were trying to achieve back then though. I mean, you were my dealer Lee, wasn’t selling to me kinda a good thing for you. Financially and all that.” Since the babies were so small Leni had no issue with talking about her drug issues candidly in front of them. They didn’t understand a word of it anyway as long as she kept her tone calm. That was what they understood.

“What kind of dodgy stuff? Mate you know i’m not going to fucking judge you for whatever it is your doing. I never did before either.” Him not having anything on him whenever they hung out through would be helpful because sometimes her resolve to keep clean wasn’t as robust as it was other times. “Yeah well don’t bring no drugs into my house, one kids gets hold of a needle and we’re both in the shitter. And I mean that, i will shove you head first into the loo until you aspirate your own shit.” This time she genuinely did give him a small smile post joke, nodding her head. “Yep, clean and fuckin’ sober. Was no way in hell I was going to ruin these babies lives, just cos I ruined my own doens’t give me the right to ruin anyone else.”  

📷  INSTAGRAM: LeniDavies uploaded a new photo.

I never want to be ungrateful for my beautiful boys but...one of them was meant to be a fucking girl.... @fckkbenji decided the way to fix that would be to put all that stuff in one of the guest closets. Along with the extra nappies and wipes.