lena_oikawa

Sypnosis: You and Oikawa had always been close. Best friends, your mom's friend's kid; soulmates. And Oikawa had always loved you. He just never knew how to confess. Until that day. The day you passed away. Forever gone from him. Or at least... that's what he thought.

Pairing: Oikawa Tooru x Reader

Content: fem! reader, childhood friend! reader, READER IS DEAD AU, down bad! oikawa, oikawa really really regrets a bunch of stuff, YOU DO NOT COME BACK TO LIFE, mentions of death

Word Count: 1,509

Author's Note: my first post hope ygs are excited! i post on tiktok as @lena_oikawa so pretty please go check me out maybe?

The sky was dark and gloomy, the rain pittering and pattering against the clear windows.

Oikawa was sitting in front of the table stiffly, Iwaizumi closely by his side. The two of them were sitting with their families.

Oikawa’s sister kept shooting him sympathetic glances, as Takeru watched his uncle anxiously. Both moms for the Oikawas and Iwaizumis were with the parents of the deceased.

The parents of you.

You. His first love. The one he never confessed to.

And his first heartbreak.

Because, yes, at 17 years old, Oikawa Tooru experienced what true heartbreak felt like.

I should’ve told her

Was the thought that kept running in Oikawa’s mind over and over again.

Because it was the truth. He should’ve told you. Told you how much he loved you. How much you meant to him.

Really, what had stopped him?

The girl he grew up with, his mom’s friend’s daughter, his next-door neighbor, his best friend, his everything. So why couldn’t he tell you?

“Tooru-” Iwaizumi started, his voice hesitant and quiet.

Oikawa flinched. Iwaizumi calling him by his first name, and not a mixture of his last name and a curse word, just made everything feel so much more serious.

Iwaizumi loved you too, yes, but in a different way. Whereas everybody knew that Oikawa was your prince, your knight in shining armor, your soulmate, everyone knew that Iwaizumi was like a brother to you. And you. His ‘little sister’ he treasured.

You were younger than Oikawa and Iwaizumi by a year, so both of them loved you. In different ways.

“I have to use the bathroom,” Oikawa said quickly, standing up.

“Tooru-“ his sister started, shooting Iwaizumi a look, both of them knowing that he was just trying to avoid talking about it.

Ever since the news of your death arrived to both households, Oikawa had been... strange. The first day, Oikawa was cooped up in his room. He refused to come out, refusing to talk to anybody.

The days after, he acted like nothing happened. In fact, he acted like you never existed.

Oikawa was good at acting. Good at pretending. Good at plastering on a fake smile on his face.

But here? At your funeral? Filled with people that either didn’t know you, disliked you, envied you, or just... didn’t know you as well as he did?

Oikawa, for the first time in his life, couldn’t pretend. Not this time. Not for this event.

He was being unfair, he knew that. He knew your friends and classmates were also mourning you. Also sad. But they didn’t know you like Oikawa had. They didn’t love you like Oikawa had.

“I’ll be back,” Oikawa blurted out, before quickly making his way out of the room, towards the hallway where the bathrooms were.

He couldn’t stay there.

Oikawa saw some people from his school stare at him. They whispered behind his back, as he hurriedly headed towards the restroom.

Oikawa’s fists were clenched, his eyes downcast. And when he looked up... he saw... you...?

Oikawa blinked. You stared at him, with that amused smile of yours you loved to wear whenever you tried to rage bait him.

“Fuck. I’m hallucinating,” Oikawa said out loud.

“Wow, should I be flattered?” you grinned playfully, “Am I so ethereal and pretty that you think I’m a hallucination? A figment of your imagination?“

Oikawa stared at you, before quickly grabbing your wrist. It was cold, and he couldn’t feel your pulse. But... it was there. He could grab it.

Oikawa looked around, to see that nobody else seemed to see you. The dead girl walking.

He quickly started pulling you into a nearby supply closet, locking the door behind you.

“What the fuck?” Oikawa snapped, “What- What the hell is going on?”

“Aw, I thought you would be more happy to see me,” you teased.

“Stop,” he hissed, as your eyes widened slightly.

“I don’t know what the fuck is going on, but it’s not funny,” Oikawa clenched his jaw.

You looked up at him, feeling the height difference as he backed you against the wall.

“It’s not funny,” Oikawa repeated, his voice wavering, “I-It’s messed up.”

“Tooru,” you said softly, “It’s me, okay? I’m dead, but you can see me. Me. It’s actually me.”

“How?” he whispered, shaking his head as he closed his eyes, “Why me? I don’t- I don’t want to see you.” He took a step back.

“I know,” you whispered, stepping closer to him.

“I know, Tooru,” you repeated, reaching up to cup the side of his face, “But... I’m here because of you.”

“What?” his eyes snapped open, his voice taking on a defensive edge “What do you mean? I didn’t fucking wish for you to be here. I didn’t-”

“I know,” you cut in, “I know. But... you’re clinging on to me. Whether you realize it or not. And you... you have to let go. You need to let go of any regrets you have regarding our relationship.”

“Is it that stupid thing?” Oikawa groaned, “That thing about how the deceased will remain on Earth as ghosts if they have unfinished business with someone living?”

You grinned, “Yup. Who would’ve thought that would be true?”

Oikawa stared at you, before he blurted out, “I love you. Like, not as my little sister. Like... romantically. I think I’ve always loved you. I’ve always been in love with you.”

You blinked, “Say you swear.”

Oikawa’s face fell, “Dude. Seriously?”

You laughed, “I love you too,” you smiled at him, your eyes welling up with tears, “I always have. When... the car came towards me-”

Oikawa flinched. The car. The accident.

“My life did flash before my eyes,” you continued, “It’s true. And... you were there. You were my 7 minutes.”

“Oikawa Tooru. I love you. I always have,” you said breathlessly.

Oikawa nodded numbly, “Don’t go,” he whispered.

“You have to let go of me,” you said softly, “We gotta let go. Of all of our ghosts.”

You smiled, a bittersweet one this time, “We both know we ain’t kids no more.”

You and Oikawa. Two young teenagers in love. 16 and 17. Who were once 6 and 7. Pure young kids.

“I don’t want to,” Oikawa shook his head, “Please, I’ll-I’ll figure something out. I-I don’t know, but, don’t leave me. Please don’t leave me. I love-”

You cut him off, by pulling him down by the collar of his shirt. You pressed your lips to his gently, shutting him up.

Oikawa’s eyes widened, before he squeezed them shut. He wrapped his arm around your waist, pulling you in impossibly close. Your arms wrapped around his neck. His tongue slid across your closed lips, begging for access. And you complied.

When you finally pulled apart, he tightened his grip around your waist. You pulled him down, kissing him chastely one last time.

“I love you,” he whispered hoarsely.

“I love you, Tooru,” you grinned, tears rolling down your cheeks.

Oikawa wiped your tears away with his thumbs, his expression pained.

He didn’t want to let you go. Both of you knew that. But he had to. Both of you knew that, too.

Oikawa pulled you in, for one last kiss. And this time, he poured in all his desparation, sorrow, grief, happiness, hope; everything. He poured in every emotion he had into this kiss.

“I love you,” Oikawa repeated.

“Close your eyes, Tooru,” you whispered.

The same words you would say when you wanted to show him a surprise. Except this time, he knew what was coming.

But still, he complied. After all, he had never been good at saying no to you.

When he opened them, he was alone. Alone in a locked storage closet. OIkawa reached up, feeling something heavy on his neck. Something he swore wasn’t there before.

A heart locket. He opened it.

“I love you, Tooru,” your voice played out.

The door was unlocked, and there they were. Iwaizumi, his sister, and Takeru. The three people in his life that now meant the most to him.

Oikawa’s face was stained with his tears, and he was clutching a heart locket. Closing it shut again.

He was slumped against the wall, his knees up.

“Tooru,” his sister breathed out, slumping to her knees on his side, wrapping him in her arms, “Oh, my baby, I’m sorry. I’m so sorry, Tooru.”

“She,” Oikawa sobbed, tears staining his sister’s clothes, “She loved me.”

“Fucking dumbass,” Iwaizumi whispered hoarsely.

Iwaizumi’s eyes were rimmed red, as he also knelt down next to Oikawa.

“You fucking dumbass,” Iwaizumi repeated, louder this time, “Of course she fucking loved you. It was always you. Only you.”

Oikawa looked up, as his sister let go of him slowly. The two best friends looked at each other, before both of them started crying.

Looking away, they both pulled each other into a tight hug. The way they used to when they were younger.

We’ve gotta let go, of all of our ghosts. We both know we ain’t kids no more.

Tags: @koyomszz @koyomsz idk which account to tag sorry koko