relational trauma has to be healed relationally. the best way to practice having relatively "safe" interactions with ppl is joining a hobby group/club/whatever. I've recently joined like ten Fancy Leather Bag groups on fb out of deep curiosity and interest and the communities ppl will build around literally everything I swear to god. I've seen multiple ladies in these purse groups being like "thank you everyone in this hobby for getting me through my chemotherapy" like ... sometimes we dismiss the middle aged purse lady demographic but you know what they have got is a functional community where they support each other that just happens to be centered around purses. having now read many posts from these groups for several weeks I can see that the object being collected IS important, and is certainly the superifival draw into the space as well as something that provides an immediate shared interest, the actual benefit of localish hobby/collecting spaces is largely community and social support.
those of us who are Very Online Only could stand to learn from this sort of thing I think. it doesn't have to be purses it could be anything. but like. (gestures at the purse ladies who are getting each other through chemotherapy) Shared Interest Facebook Group And/Or Subreddit has it for you. i think.
this is actually my first step of learning emotional regulation. yes yes, restful sleep and physiologically appropriate exercise and getting outside and eating nutritious meals. these are all good. but also MEET. YOUR. SOCIAL. NEEDS. you need the relational foundation to cushion you while you work on these skills! i know it's really scary because we all have relational trauma but that doesn't mean we don't have a need for social connection and support!!!
