Stuff and also things

take him and photoshop him

I bet raising your arm and summoning a weapon for you to grasp feels good as fuck

UNGRATEFUL tech companies are saying things like "turn off your ad blocker" and "we need your photo id" instead of "thank you so much for not just pirating our shit, youre so handsome"

now i encourage people to play toys and have fun engaging with media. but at some point if all your media engagement is only shipping, and you think everything is shipbait, it starts saying more about you than the source material

Teleporting does kill you but it also launches your soul through samsara in a sort of geostationary orbit velocity, so you reincarnate instantly.

You’re not depressed. You just need $250,000 in your bank account.

Reblog to materialize $250,000 in prev's bank account

the scariest thing about old tv isnt really the racism or the sexisim because you kinda go in braced for that it's all the scenes where suddenly an actress is holding a lion cub or a chimpanzee is in the same room as a toddler, or suddenly theres a lion, or there's a chimpanzee again but it's driving a car, or holding a lighter, or holding fireworks. You just kind of watch in horror as over and over an actress performs with only 1960s tv film shootings best animal handling between her and the opening to Nope.

When I say "godspeed" (I say it a lot) I like to imagine I'm a member of a futurism religion that worships velocity above all else. Like its the standard well-wishing in my culture. Speedliness is next to godliness. Someday we'll catch him! And the closer we get the more he loves us

Can I say something

The word Ottawa looks like a caterpillar

Every single note and comment is comedy gold and I'm wheezing from laughing so hard