Call me Lei♡

Gojo Satoru and Geto Suguru were the most frequent of her lovers, you’re honestly not sure if either are aware they’re sleeping with the same girl actually. Maybe that plot point happens next week? Oh well.

The only major gripe you had is that you could not get away. You weren’t able to move out of your shared apartment, every listing you’d find that you could fictionally afford would suddenly be unavailable when you were ready to hit apply. Any time you distanced yourself she’d suddenly appear more frequently like you were meant to orbit her - like you were always destined to be a foreground character treated like a background character.

“I-I’m so sorry-“ You’re snapped out of your thoughts by the sound of Y/N’s incessant apologies as she tries to clamber off of your study partner’s lap, how she ended up there? Fuck if you know.

“It’s fine.” His voice deadpans and Nanami Kento struggles to hide his disdain at what had happened.

Nanami? Oh yeah, chill guy actually. Great study partner and somehow isn’t in the harem, no matter how many times Y/N had magically tripped and fallen onto his cock - don’t worry his layers of clothes protected him.

She’s flustered as she scrambles to her feet and scurries off like a kicked dog, tears lining the corners of her eyes as she squeaks out a goodbye and the familiar sound of the front door slams shut. You snort, like, so loudly that it’s almost painful.

“52.” Nanami abruptly states and he looks so tired of it all.

“No way- has it already been that many?” You ask before breaking out into fits of near manic laughter.

“She has spontaneously tripped, and fallen onto my lap - a total of 52 times so far.” He reiterates as he brushes his pants off with a distinct look of disgust as he hisses out the remainder of his sentence, “In the span of one and a half weeks.”

“Y’know it’s kinda impressive how it happens,” You point out gleefully, managing to calm yourself from your giggle fits for a moment to wipe an amused tear away. 

Nanami doesn’t seem to share your sentiment, “If I wasn’t the victim, I’d agree with you.”

You turn your head when you snort again and when you turn back to look at him, he’s quirking a little amused smile and a raised brow.

“Wow, are you laughing at victims now?” He jokes and it causes you to laugh again.

“Only when it’s you.”

“And I thought you liked me.”

“Whatever helps you sleep at night buddy.”

“U-um.. Hi.. I um,” Y/N’s stammering is killing your study vibe right now. How is it that you can’t even enjoy the luxurious study area of this insanely gorgeous and expensive campus without her appearing? Fate sure does hate you.

But you simply lean back in your chair, headphones on your head and even through the thick haze of music leaking out of the ear cups - you can hear her. 

Fuuuuuck please don’t be a smut scene here, please please please- You’re mentally pleading as you pinch the bridge of your nose in the hopes that today wasn’t a library sex scene. For the love of god PLEASE not be that.

“Huh? You said it was a one time thing.” Ryomen Sukuna is commenting dryly, his brows furrowed in genuine confusion and his obnoxiously built body relaxing in the plastic chair of a study table a few meters away from you.

Y/N pouts, embarrassment flooding her features and you feel your own bout of second-hand embarrassment as he waves her off and she huffs and spins on her heel. Mumbling about how he was ‘such a jerk’ and ‘should know it mean’t more than one night’, weird reverse psychology but whatever.

What you don’t have time to recover from is how she looks at you and squeaks out a greeting of ‘hey roomie!’ before rushing off like she’d been caught during the devil’s tango - you’re not even sure why she’s so shy about it, that happened like two weeks ago, three separate times already.

“Your roommate’s annoying.” You jolt as an ear cup is lifted off your head and Sukuna’s grumbling low into it.

“Jesus-“

“Nah, you can call me Kuna - ‘ppreciate the sentiment though.” He quickly cuts off your surprised response and plops down into the seat beside you.

“How do you even know that I’m her-“ You can’t even ask him before he’s cutting you off again.

“She was blabberin’ on about her ‘cool roommate’, then showed me your instagram.” He states easily, a one shoulder shrug accompanying it as he unloads his books and study material and simply starts skimming the required readings for whatever class he has.

You cringe and a physical shudder wracks through your body as you adjust your headphones so you can hear him better, “Was this before or after you railed her?”

His tattooed hand freezes in place right before he was about to turn over the page in his workbook. He blinks once, twice, then his face cracks out into an amused smirk and he tilts his head to look at you.

“Half way through actually.”

“She’s thinking about me during sex? I’m not sure if I should be flattered or disgusted.” You joke but you can’t hide the undertone of exasperation.

He chuckles at that, something low in his chest and he straightens up a little to properly converse with you now.

“Dunno, but I will say I had to shove her face into the mattress so she’d stop talking about other people.”

The silence is comfortable when you both return to studying, an easy familiarity settling over the both of you before Sukuna suddenly pipes up.

“She’s gonna bang Professor Fushiguro next though.”

“Oh god, I don’t wanna walk in on that - I’ve seen enough as is.”

“Good luck soldier.”

“Fuck off.”

He snickers, you smack his shoulder, Sukuna laughs harder.

“A-ah Cho, som-someone’s here.”

Why did the Author hate you? Why is it that you can’t even walk down an unsuspecting hallway without accidentally stumbling into another smut scenario?

Y/N is readjusting her clothes and giving Kamo Choso a peck on the cheek before rushing off to her next class, barely a goodbye muttered to him and thankfully she didn’t see you this time. Unfortunately you do make eye contact with him though and he blinks at you slowly.

“Hey,” He greets politely, mouth in that natural resting pout and he nods at you as well - face flushed but otherwise completely unbothered by what just happened.

“Sup Choso.” You respond, walking past him and into the open door of your shared class.

“Told you Cho s’fine.” He points out as he follows in behind you, getting himself set up to be in the seat beside you - where he usually sat.

“I would prefer not to, I hear her calling you that plenty enough.” You tease him and he smiles at you with a little roll of his eyes.

“She started it this time.” He clarifies and you give him such a devastating side eye that if he weren’t telling the truth, he’d be fumbling to explain himself. But he was truthful and unbothered as he flicks through his notes.

“The gooner duo wouldn’t be pleased to hear you talk so nonchalantly about their queen.” You point out as you get your own notebook out, other people in your class slowly starting to trail in and fill the room.

“Well dumb and dumber still don’t know they’re getting their fix from the same water hole.” Choso retorts and chuckles a little when he sees your distinct and iconic look of horrified disgust.

“That analogy is foul.” You hiss out and he just tilts his head at you, playful smile on his face as he suddenly leans in closer to you.

“S’not my fault she’s a squirter.” He mumbles low so only you can hear.

“Kamo Choso, you are vile and I hope your dick falls off.” You wretch a little, hating that you have witnessed a scene like that before against your will.

“You can use it as a dildo if it does.” He jokes as he leans back into his chair.

“Absolutely not, I know who it’s been in..” You mutter as you give him a disgusted once over that has him laughing under his breath.

Your banter is cut short by his phone pinging with a notification from the one and only Y/N. You sigh as you shield your eyes from it, praying that you won’t have to witness the contents of the message before Choso’s whispering in your ear the details of whats inside.

“M’so horny..” He breathes out and you freeze, “Need your cum.. can you come over tonight?”

You physically recoil away from him and he starts laughing at you again as you process the cursed words he had uttered.

“I’m being sexiled again?” 

“At least I warn you.” He points out.

“Ugh.. that’s why you’re my favourite.” You comment as you give him a lazy side hug and he leans into it only to freeze at your next sentence.

“If I spot even a drop of your jizz near my room, I will castrate you myself.” You mutter darkly into his ear.

“You’ve been warned Kamo.”

“Yes ma’am.”

“I’m asking this because I care,” You don’t care actually, “But you’re like.. getting tested right? Like they’re all clean?”

Y/N looks up at you with doe eyes - you’re not sure how she’s looking up at you when you’re around the same height but, whatever, logistics or something.

“M-mhm..! Well, I’m only seeing-“ She paused as she realises she’d be lying if she said a singular name and her she covers her face in shyness and embarrassment. “He’s clean though, at least, I don’t think anyone’s seeing somebody else..” She’s pouting and you have to fight the physical urge to punt her.

The hypocrisy at being upset about the multitude of guys she’s sleeping with to be with any other partner makes you question your sanity, but harem logic never really made sense in the first place.

“Alright just, be careful - make sure to keep an eye on your drink.” You warn her as she nods and prepares herself to go to whatever party was being hosted this time around, she gives you a quick hug goodbye and you wave her off.

You remind her to call you if she needs to and she beams at you before disappearing into the college night. Once the front door to your shared apartment is closed you fist pump in celebration.

A night alone in your own apartment? During a party scenario? Fuck yeah, you’re not being sexiled today!

You treat yourself by going straight to your room and watching netflix on your laptop, door wide open and speakers on low. You would use the couch and admire the shared living space but.. you’ve witnessed what goes on there many a time and do not want to be part of whatever fluids are staining that thing.

What you don’t expect is for Satoru and Suguru to appear on your door step, nor did you expect to be sandwiched between them in your bed.

Not like that, you’re not Y/N.

“This movie is lit.” Satoru comments through handfuls of popcorn and Suguru nags him to close his mouth when he chews.

You’re sat between the two lanky men, netflix on your laptop set up on the bed in front of you as you sat with your knees to your chest. You don’t even know whats playing as you try to do the mental math on why they’re here and who the fuck is fucking Y/N at the party then.

Your phone pings suddenly and you glance down at it to see a text from Nanami.

[ 55 ]

[ I’m going home, Haibara can fend for himself ]

You laugh a little under your breath as you send a quick reply before locking your phone again.

“Didn’t know you were friends with Nanami..” Suguru’s voice so close to your ear makes you jolt, your head whips around to glare at his close proximity and he simply smiles at you before backing away with his hands raised in surrender. 

“And you care.. why?” You ask accusingly and Suguru is simply amused.

“How’d you not know? He’s always texting her when we hang out.” Satoru pipes up suddenly and you realise that you do not like being caged between these two. It’s actually not hot, it’s quite scary to be between two suspiciously tall men.

“Why’re you two even here?” You finally ask as you attempt to take space back for yourself and physically push both of them out of your bubble, Suguru laughing to himself and Satoru babbling a complaint out about the man handling.

“Y/N said you might be lonely without her home,” Satoru answers you like he was stating a fact and it makes you want to punch him.

“Well I don’t care what mommy says.” You hiss out to him and watch in real time as Satoru’s face blazes into a red blushing mess. His mouth opens and closes a few times before he’s physically shifting away from you to attempt to hide his shame.

“Damn, that kinda kink huh?” Suguru hums out to tease his friend and you whip around to point at him.

“You’re no better, I know what you do with her socks.” He freezes at your words and quirks a nervous smile.

You’re grumbling as you get to your feet, muttering something about needing to piss and that you’re gonna get a snack refill as you leave your own room to get away from dimwit 1 and 2.

“..I get why Nanami likes her now..” Satoru mumbles into his arm, his face still red for an entirely different reason now.

“There is no way you’re swapping sides that easily.” Suguru deadpans.

“I am not, I am a loyal man!” Satoru whisper shouts defensively.

“Better be, mommy would be sad.”