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@leicnnep

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My knowledge about child development versus the social pressure to not interfere with other people’s parenting fight daily
Parent: *unintentionally escalates a child’s resistance so they fail to regulate the child, and hence become more embarrassed and upset and continue to escalate*
Me: and I will just. Um. Be normal about this. :)
Oh and ESPECIALLY if you’re not a parent yourself. No matter how much time you’ve spent working with children or the amount of research you’ve done, if it’s not YOUR kid you couldn’t understand anything
It’s not even “just” bad and abusive parents. It’s people who were raised that way and don’t know another way. Or they’ve been doing it so long they think it’s too late to change. Or they want to do better but have barriers to education and implementation. Or they’re trying traditional methods with a neurodivergent child. Or like a hundred other reasons.
Okay so I’ve been thinking about this since yesterday and trying to be as fair as possible to these parents, because these are people in my extended village, and I’ve started thinking of some positive interactions/interventions I’ve had that aren’t “tell the parent they aren’t parenting correctly” (which we all know is unfair).
1. Care for the parent. If the parent is upset, they are likely going to upset the child, even if they don’t mean to. Give mom or dad a hug or some time to calm down before they have to jump into parenting again.
2. Related to part 1, offer to solve the problem without you ever disciplining the child. (It’s straight-up not my place to discipline children in front of their parents without explicit consent — only a few members of my village have told me that it’s acceptable for me to observe and correct their children.) This could be as simple as “hey it seems like the girls have a lot of energy right now, want me to watch them outside so they can run around while you finish what you’re doing?”
3. Talk to them in a calm moment if you see a pattern and see if they need long-term support. “Hey, I’ve noticed it’s really been a struggle for you to transition Della out of dance class and into the car. Is there anything I can do to help you and her with that transition? Does she need some extra time to pack her things or say goodbye to her friends?”
4. Relate to the child. Some people have forgotten what it’s like to be a kid, or they have a kid who is radically different from themselves. I was a kid who was often “naughty” myself and I remember my reasons (good AND bad) for behaving that way. Many parents genuinely don’t see the logic in children’s behavior and sometimes an outside adult who can say “hahaha I do that” is actually a weight off their minds.
5. Relate to the parent. And also, sometimes they just need you to be a wall for them to complain at. If they are really frustrated, it’s better they get it out of their system in a reasonable conversation with you than to snap at their kids later. Parenting IS hard — I haven’t done it myself but I’ve watched others do it long enough to glean.
As an early childhood educator, all of this!!!! All of it. We are all unlearning so much toxic shit from our own childhoods, and from society at large. The majority of parents care so much, and they want to do the best for their children. They just are often lacking the tools, both parenting tools and tools to process their own childhood traumas.
Framing the conversation in terms of collaborative problem-solving helps them to feel heard, and (hopefully) lowers their sense of being judged. I often start these conversations with "I notice" or "I wonder" statements. "I notice morning drop-off has been very hard for Timmy." And then give them space to share their thoughts and feelings without my butting in or interrupting. And, as a bonus, having these conversations framed as collaborative problem-solving moments models for the parent how to have these same conversations with their child!
I love this addition! It takes a village, and I might not be your kids' parent but I'm part of their/your village (relative, teacher, director, etc.) and there are problems we can solve together! <3
why did they start breeding busses to have flat faces. they can't breathe
if you think this
looks better than this
you're part of the problem. I'm so tired of all the excuses like "oh they look cuter!" "why do you care?" THEY CAN'T BREATHE. People intentionally breeding these vehicles to give them health problems because they "like how it looks" makes me so mad
Actually, flat faced buses can breathe fine! This is a case of convergent evolution, but the two types of buses are not genetically related.
Pointed nose buses are decended from trucks, and have their engines located in the front. This requires the larger nose in order to provide the space for the engine as well as adequate ventilation.
Meanwhile, flat nosed buses are actually descended from city buses (which in turn descend from trolleys), and were domesticated due to their greater maneuverability and capacity.
Contrary to popular belief, flat nosed busses typically do not experience breathing problems. Their engines are located in the back of the bus, with a large breathing vent located in the rear.
These buses also have a different structure to accommodate this change, typically including doubled back tires, a different weight distribution, and a change in location of the emergency egress door from the back to the left side.
If only pugs could breathe through their butt too :((
i have no comment this is just the funniest fucking thing i’ve seen all day

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Just swimming by to say hello. 🦭
I don't know which of you needs to hear this but "narc" is not short for "narcissist" when someone calls you a "narc" for snitching they are calling you a "narcotics officer"
technically narc isnt even short for narcotics officer its just cant for Cop, I believe Roma in origin
I read years ago in a book that it was derived from nakk, Romani for nose, as in someone who always has their nose in other people's business
ITS DERIVED FROM "NARCO" AS IN "NARCOTICS" WHAT FUCKING BOOK
Okay you know what pulling back on my derision because i can see how this mistake would be made but narc and nark are etymologically unrelated
Etymology is always doing some shit like this
Convergent evolution.
Linguistic crab
Two entire linguistic traditions have merged to remind you not to be a fuckin narc
Bro wtf I had to check if this was real
She was a labour/"leftist" zionist btw
I profoundly dislike this woman, but I think it is disingenuous to present a paraphrase as a quote.
The closest I found to her actually saying that is:
"When peace comes we will perhaps in time be able to forgive the Arabs for killing our sons, but it will be harder for us to forgive them for having forced us to kill their sons. Peace will come when the Arabs will love their children more than they hate us."
Golda Meir - A land of Our Own, an oral autobiography (1973)
Thanks for the full quote, it actually makes her far worse.
My sister-in-law (husband’s sister) was supposed to get married this fall but due to some immature/concerning behavior by her fiancé, the wedding and engagement were called off. (I don’t want to be too specific, but there were sudden red flags, followed by his sudden decision that he wanted to postpone the wedding months or years despite the fact that most of it was paid for already).
I explained the delicate situation to my mom, as my sister-in-law is letting the news get out by word-of-mouth from the immediate family rather than an awkward “unsave-the-date”. My mom obviously told my own family.
Apparently my dad was so angry by the behavior of this guy that in the lunchroom at work he made everybody listen to the whole story (censoring names and identifying details) and said “I’m not crazy, right? This guy sucks!” And then reported back to me all his different coworkers that agreed this guy sucks, as well as their variety of ages/genders to indicate widespread consensus.
Organically sourced AITA reddit thread.
I wasn’t sure if my vibes about this post would come across over text but you all picked up exactly what I was putting down.
Overlock Stitch by @clothes_reetzy
Damn, that's useful

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top 3 hobbies for young adults:
1. borrowing misery from future
2. carrying grief of the past
3. agonizing over the present
This is what it’s like living in Michigan
It’s a Monty Python skit.
Guy: *Singing* I’m doing some fishing…
Officer: *Emerges from the water with a grunt* You there, Sir!! I certainly hope you’ve got a fishing license!
Guy: *Panicking* Wha, no, I don’t!
Officer: Oh no?
Guy: *Screaming*
Officer: I’ll have you beheaded!!
As a Michigan native, I confirm this is all true.
The thing about ADHD is that the "lack of reward chemicals in your brain" doesn't just mean that you don't want to do any tasks that don't feel particularly yummy :(, it means that your brain will look at chores and tasks that need to be done like "doing this would be painful and tedious for absolutely nothing to gain from it, Do Not Do That." The same thing that your brain tells you about everything else that would feel really bad and hurt the entire time that you're dying. The part of your brain that stops you from doing the thing is the same part that keeps you from shoving your arm into a wood chipper.
With unmedicated, unmanaged ADHD, "I have to do this assignment or I fail and my life will be ruined and I die" feels like a SAW trap, every single time.
Articles written by neurotypicals will be like “ADHD children find the external motivation of the SAW traps is very effective. Here’s how to build SAW traps to maximize their productivity.”
Speef is real to me. I'm sorry for that.
the 'to native english speakers' makes one assume he isnt one and thats right. i checked his account and he's brazilian. thing is speef also does not sound like a normal name in portuguese
Just gonna drop these here as a starting point :)
How to identify, and then deal with, your emotions
Emotional regulation skills
Conflict resolution skills
Creating and enforcing boundaries
Dialectical Behavioural Therapy skills
Emotional intelligence ideals to aim for
Axes of self-care/wellbeing
Self-care self-evaluation (find out where you’re starting)
How to make a self-care checklist
How to start a self-care habit
Reparenting resources
Crash Course Psychology
KhanAcademy: Understanding the Self and Society (some units more relevant than others)
Emotional education activities for children and teens
Social-Emotional Learning activities for kids (information can be adapted for adults)

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stop saying "gen z brought back bush-era purity politics" i grew up in the bush era and even then people weren't saying that you're a sex addict for having boring marital sexual congress in the same house as your children. this is just plain unhinged
Literally almost every millennial I know has a memory of accidentally walking in on their parents or hearing their parents having sex. It's fucking normal. Human beings have sex. Your parents fuck. Get over it. Being weird about it isn't healthy.
I really loved Robert Evans’s response to this
I am slowly losing my mind over the shift towards video as the default media format.
I do not find this to be an efficient way to absorb information. I am bored and distracted by the time the largely unnecessary introduction is over. I can't use ctrl+f to find the specific information I'm looking for. If there are instructions to follow, I don't want to have to constantly pause and back up to the part I need.
At least give me a fucking transcript.
I can read faster than you can talk and these videos are wasting my time.