The Librarian

Evelyn had truly tried to keep her feelings in check, knowing that the last thing Leib needed or likely wanted was a blubbering mess on his hands. But she was only human.. there was just so much that she could do. She had sat with Sunny for as long as they were allowed to, crying over him as they reassured each other that somehow everything would be okay. She had cried for him in her own bed, wondering if she would ever hear his voice or feel his touch again. So if her emotions were overwhelmed at the sight of his face and the sound of that voice once again? She could feel that it was understandable. But so were his feelings. And that was what she was here to show him.

His words stung but Evie simply nodded as she quelled her tears, swallowing hard and pulling herself up to her full height. “I know. And I’m so so sorry” Her voice was still low but stronger. It was a start. “I was there, with Sunny. We stayed for as long as they let us because I wanted to be with you. Just like I do now” Taking a small step forward, she extended a small hand. His to take or brush away.

“Tell me what I can do. Please. I want to help you..if you’ll let me” Evelyn lifted her chin, meeting his gaze. She would do anything for him. All he had to do was let her.

He watched as she extended her hand, but he wasn’t ready to reach out anymore, not right now so he pretended he didn’t see it. “Thank you,” he said softly. “Did you-” he had no right to ask, but he was curious. “Did you cover your hair?” he asked lowly. If Dhani had been there, he’d have made sure anyone who came would have dressed appropriately, worn the proper coverings. But he didn’t know when she came. It all bled together, and at the same time it was all agonizingly slow in his mind. It was all hell. 

“I don’t even know what I need Evelyn,” he said as he crossed his arms and looked out the window. The bloody back of a man who had just grown wings now in her line of sight. Fuck he was tired. He just wanted to sleep, wished he could just sleep for a decade until no one remembered him here and then he could wake up to new people who didn’t ask a million questions. “Patience,” he finally said after a moment. “I need patience from you and everyone else.” 

“I just fucking died,” he said as he brought a hand up to run over his face. “I just- I need some time.” he said without looking at her. “I need to be given time. Not just from you, but from everyone,” he explained. “I need people to stop asking me how I’m doing or asking me about the whole thing. Dying sucks. Feeling yourself die every moment for seventy two hours- this shit really fucking sucks. And having to relive it with every person who comes to see me isn’t fair.” 

The fact that the cat wasn’t used to be outside made her more worried. “We’re gonna find him I promise. Do you have any treats maybe? If we can’t find him before the sun goes down, we can put his litter outside. He will be able to smell it and help him to find his way home if he’s lost.” she suggested. Charlotte could tell that the mention of his wings made him feel some type of way. “I’m sorry it was rude to ask. I just learned about supernatural creature and honestly didn’t really believe it. I’ve been told my whole life that they were not real and only existed in books. It’s the first time I see someone with a super feature.” she explained. “They’re impressive and beautiful.” Her heart sank at his next words. “I hope everyone is okay…”

Cat treats- of course!

“Yeah,” he began to back away towards the house. “Wait right here, don’t- don’t stop looking, I’ll be right back,” he said before he ran inside. He made his way upstairs to the kitchen and grabbed the bag of cat treats before he ran back downstairs and out to the front. He shook the bag a few times, hoping the familiar sound would rouse the cat from his hiding place. 

.

“Monster Truck,” she repeated, stifling a giggle.  It felt wrong to find humor in the moment, and even worse for any sort of laugh to echo through the ballroom.  But Isabel adored the name, strange as it might have been.  “No pets, Sir.  I-I’m an unclaimed slave, I’m not really allowed any.  But I work at the cat cafe, so I kind of have a bunch at the same time?”  The shifter’s smile was gentle at the soft kisses to her knuckles, the feeling emboldening her to lean against the librarian and into Leib’s embrace.  It felt oddly easy, but clearly they both needed the comfort right now.  “I wish we knew when it was going to end,” she admitted quietly.  Not knowing made everything feel that much worse.

“That sounds lovely,” he said as he thought about the cat cafe. He’d visited something similar in Japan once, but with Owls. It was honestly a little terrifying, but cats, he imagined that would be a lot less scary. “It’s not going to go on for the rest of our lives,” he whispered as he rubbed the back of her hand with his thumb. “Every moment of suffering comes to an end. I don’t know if you find any comfort in religion, but it gets me though it,” he said gently. 

.

“How can anyone understand unless they’ve died and come back too?”  Empathy wasn’t exactly her strong suit, but she doubted that it was an easy thing to even attempt to empathize with.  Especially with religion and its relationship to death thrown into the supernatural mix.  Teddy doubted it was a thing that happened often, and pretending otherwise felt … off.  She’d not known anyone to have been turned into anything supernatural, but could only imagine that adjustment alone could take years.  “Have you told them you need more time to grieve?  Or that you’re not going to be the same person you were?”  It almost sounded like people were making his death more about them than him, which felt selfish.  Ignorant, maybe.  “But that’s shit, either way.  It sounds like people aren’t listening to you and are replacing your feelings with their assumption of they think you should be feeling.”

One finger trailed along the line of books in the section that Leib had led her to, pausing at one title and opening it to do some browsing while they admittedly talked about a heavier subject than Farsi.

“I haven’t really gotten an opportunity to say it,” he admitted as he thought about it. “I mean, I get they need space to feel their emotions, and for a lot of them, feeling their emotions means telling me all of their emotions, but,” he sighed and shrugged. “Them feeling their emotions is making it hard for me to feel mine.” he chuckled lightly as he looked at the young professor. “Does that make me sound like the most selfish, narcissistic person ever?” he questioned gently. This one, she was blunt, she’d tell him if he was being a narcissist no questioned asked. And he liked knowing that. 

He opened a book about the culture and flipped through the pages, leaning back against the shelf of books as he did and turned the book so she could see the picture he’d opened the book to, a beautiful piece of art. Admittedly, it was nice being honest about this shit. 

.

Layla let out a yelp of surprise when he let one of his plates shatter. She stared at the pieces that scattered on the floor with her jaw dropped. He was serious! He was going to let her destroy his property! A grin slowly grew across her face. 

She took the plate he offered and held it away from herself. She paused for an exciting moment, willing her hands to let go. When she did, the plate shattered with such a satisfying sound that it took her breath away. It felt good, so good to break something. Her old resentment and rage entangled with her thrill as she reached for another plate and this time tossed it to the floor. It felt so incredible! 

She took a third, “Take that!” she cried as she let it break on the floor. She wasn’t sure who she was speaking to. Perhaps Jace, perhaps Winter, perhaps her own anger, or her family, or fate itself for making her a vessel witch. Maybe it was everything all at once.

“There you go!” Leib grinned at her as she started dropping plates. “Great job!” he smiled and stood back, sipping his tea while he watched her. It seemed like she needed to get this out of her system, and he was happy to lend a hand in any way he could. “Feeling good honey?” he asked when she seemed to lose steam. “There’s only a couple left. Wanna try writing the names of whoever you’re pissed off at on the last couple? Let out the last of your anger?” he offered as he pulled a sharpie from the kitchen junk drawer. 

“Oh, I like that,” she said. “A win-win for us both.” She smirked. “You get street cred for mouthing off to me, and I earn some respect for smacking you around a bit. I’m in, if you are.”

“Exactly!” he grinned. “Sounds good to me, wanna bring me to the nurse’s office, make it look legit?” he asked. “It’d be nice to get an ice pack for my face.” 

Persephone sniffled at his words. She really wish she wasn’t as emotional as she was, but she couldn’t help it. She was always a bucket of tears but Leib meant to much to her. He was her closes friend on the island and the first person to see her and all her oddities as something good. The fear of never seeing him again was soul-crushing but it wasn’t about her, it was about him and how he was feelings.

“I didn’t mean it like that. I just… I know.” She paused trying to collect herself. “I only meant that not being okay is understandable in times like this and you don’t have to be strong for anyone benefit, not even your own.”

part of him hated himself for how he was lashing out at the people who cared about him, he hated that he was being this cruel to those who were mourning, but he was mourning too, and having a lot of people around, people telling him how glad they were that he was alive- it was triggering. He wasn’t alive, he wasn’t even human anymore and the thought made him sick. Dying was next to impossible now. And even if he could die, would he make his way to the Seven Heavens? Would he see his family again? 

That thought made his heart hurt, which honestly was old news as far as he was concerned. He’d spent three days feeling the searing pain of his own heart giving up, a little regret was nothing. “I’m not trying to be strong, that’s the thing,” Leib told her as he ran a hand through his greasy hair. “Obviously I’m not keeping it together,” he muttered. 

Persephone laughed but nodded in agreement. “I will take it’s remarkable that I know your taste. I suppose I have a few remarkable traits. I’m getting really good with the woodwork at work. I can make you something cool for your birthday,” she grinned. She climbed out of the car quickly, thanking him before following him into his home. “I don’t mind spending the night if you don’t have a problem with it, I don’t want to put you out.” She said.

“Sweetheart, when have you ever put me out?” he asked as he gave her side a slight squeeze. He led her into the house and kicked his shoes off at the door before he turned and leaned down to press a soft kiss to her lips. “Tell me Gorgeous,” he said as he cupped her face. “Would you be interested in a little recreation before dinner?” he asked softly as he held her face, stroking her cheeks with his thumbs. 

He changed the sheets on the bed, put a couple towels on the end of the bed and made sure there was plenty of space for her to hang up whatever clothes she brought with her before he heard the doorbell. He had to beat the cat to the door, Monster Truck had learned that sound meant the door would be opened and he tried to slide out the door anytime the door was open. He caught the fluffy cat and picked him up before he opened the door and smiled down at the young woman. “Welcome,” he said before nodding to the guards who had brought her. Two guards, that seemed like a bit much for this young lady, but what did he know? “Come on in.” 

@scarlettxmcknight​

He huffed out a sigh and walked back to his desk, the new speaker was sitting in a box on his desk, and Monster Truck was sitting next to it, rubbing his face against the edge of the box. “Think the tech guy will be here soon?” he asked as he scratched the cat’s head, making the cat turn his attention to rubbing his face against Leib’s fingers. 

@tech-kingthomas​

It had been awhile since he’d played and his fingers twitched slightly before he looked around. He hadn’t met anyone there yet, and that made his mind up for him. He moved over to the stage, climbed the stairs and made his way to the piano. He rolled his shoulders and then let his fingers fall onto the keys, just running his fingers over the keys for a moment. It was like a brick wall was holding back the music, he desperately wanted to play, but it was just so hard for him to do it right now. Finding pleasure in anything was just so hard. 

He sighed deeply, running his hands over his face before he turned away from the piano and found himself staring at the Method Acting Professor. “Sorry,” he said, a little taken aback. “I uh... I don’t really know what I’m doing here.” 

As he finished the stack of books he put them to the side and then started on the next stack of books to return. With it being so quiet in the library, he was able to easily hear when the door opened and someone walked in. In his experience, with it being so close to summer that most students were either done with their schoolwork, or they were just ignoring the last few assignments they had, so it was a surprise to hear someone approaching his desk. “How can I help you?” he asked without looking up. 

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“It’s … an adjustment.  I have been told that I need to work on my tact,” she offered as she followed the librarian to the reference section.  It was going to be a difficult adjustment, if she were even capable of making it.  Teddy just saw no reason to hide true statements behind pleasantries.  She’d seen enough sugar coating from her fellow students back in Boston - or at least she had when it came to people their own age.  They’d had no issues mincing words with her, and she’d developed the same habits.  “Cultural reference books would also benefit, I believe.  So much syntax and fluency does spawn from the culture itself.”  Whether her student realized it yet or not, she had no idea.  But this was what she was here to teach, and she’d do it the best way she knew how.

“A process,” she repeated, deadpan.  It wasn’t as if she had any sort of life experiences to associate with what Leib was adjusting to.  The shapeshifter hadn’t even been touched by death in her own family.  “Are people still grieving you, or not grieving you enough since you’re still walking and talking?”  A tactless question, probably, but she wasn’t one to tiptoe.

Good thing he had written down where the cultural reference books were as well as the language books, that way he didn’t have to make a trip back to the computer to check- though admittedly he was getting better at knowing which random books were where. He took her back towards the back of the library, found the language reference books and then walked along the isle until he came to Farsi. He put his hand on the row of books and turned to look at her, considering her question. 

“It’s more...” he thought about how to answer it. “They’re grieving too much,” he explained slowly. It sounded stupid. “No, more, they aren’t giving me time to grieve.” he nodded. That was more like it. “I’ve known people for awhile here, and they expect me to be the same guy I was before this happened to me, and honestly, I don’t feel like the same guy, and there are some people who- they tell me they understand, but they’re still looking for that aspect of my personality. They still want me to be as carefree and personable as I was before, and they don’t like that I need the time to grieve my life.” he explained. “I was- I am a Jew, death means a lot to me, it’s a very personal thing, a religious thing, and I wasn’t allowed to experience my death as God intended, and I’m having a hard time moving past that.” It was the first time he’d said that to anyone, why he chose the young Professor, the girl from his Alma Matter- he didn’t know, but she was easy to talk to. Pragmatic, blunt. He liked that. 

[Text: Isabel]: Miss Isabel, how lovely to hear from you. I am not quite sure how to answer that one honestly. I'm afraid the announcement was true, but uh, well, it wasn't permanent. But thank you for checking in on me, that's very sweet of you.

[Text: Isabel]: Of course I had to be nice to you, you did not deserve to be around all of that. I hope you're recovering well, and I'd love to catch up with you sometime. Dinks maybe?