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ÝËđŕ§ neighbor sukuna's womanizing ways catch up to him
one | chapter index
contains: fluff, no explicit smut, neighbors to friends(?), unckuna, baby yuji, mentions of drinking, drug addiction and gambling
words: 5.8k
note: this is unedited so let me know if you see errors.
Moving into your new apartment was both exciting and nerve-wracking. You couldn't wait to customize your home like those games you played throughout childhood but you also knew no one in this building.
After unpacking with your friends, Shoko and Utahime, all morning, you were ready to settle in. You'd baked macarons to give all your neighbors to break the ice. There were elderly couples, small families and even university students who were all delighted with the treats.
Your next door neighbor wasn't home when you left your apartment but when you got back upstairs, you were met with the sight of a man unlocking the door. He filled out the doorway with his frame that was packed with muscle, tattoos wrapped around his wrists, tanned forearms on display thanks to the rolled up sleeves of his black hoodie that paired well with his dark jeans, beanie and sneakers.
âHey, neighbor. I'm new to the complex,â you introduced yourself, holding out the box of macarons as you gave him your name.
When he turned to face you, you realised that he was as intimidating from the front as he was from the back. His expression would have anyone wanting to retreat, ink making him more severe. Downturned mouth, furrowed brows, crimson eyes, and a clenched jaw as he glared at you down the line of his strong nose. While you were taken aback, your hackles rose and you were ready to forget this whole thing and leave when the hard line of his lips broke into a blinding smile. You found yourself smiling back.
He repeated your name, voice deep and velvet. It slid over your skin like the taste of good whiskey, smooth and warm. âPleasure to make your acquaintance. I'm Sukuna.â
Gaze dropping to your outstretched hands, he whistled as he pulled off his beanie, revealing fluffy coral hair. âStrawberry macarons? How'd you know my favorite flavor?â He arched a dark brown as he took the box from you.
Shrugging, you let your arms settle at your sides. âI'm psychic. You should let me read your palm some time.â That earned you a chuckle, after some uneventful small talk, you bid him goodbye and went into your apartment.
Living here just got even better. Everyone was welcoming and friendly and now you had eye candy next door. If only you could tell your past self that the dreamy honeymoon phase of moving here would only last a few weeks.
The scary looking man next door who just so happened to be nice wasn't the greatest neighbor. He wasn't the kind who would play handyman to fix a leak under your sink or change a particularly difficult lightbulb, let you borrow ingredients (not that you asked) or offer to help carry your groceries inside. Alright, maybe you were being too hard on him. He did the heavy lifting when you were bringing up your new bookshelf.
However, that did not cancel out his inconsiderate behaviour. When you reside in close proximity to someone else, you tend to unconsciously pick up their routine. He'd go for a run in the morning, sometimes to the office but he also worked from home, the evenings were for the gym or going out with his friends. You'd hear him come back to the apartment late some nights. Sometimes you'd see him in the mornings when you were going to your pilates class or when you were coming back from a hangout. Your workplace was a bit far from where you lived but you were allowed to work from home.
Nothing was wrong with any of that, of course. The problem arose when he would bring women over. When it first happened, you had been getting ready for bed. Just as you crawled under the covers, a groan stopped you. Frowning, you questioned if you left the TV on. But after checking, you realised it wasn't. As you were about to chalk it up to your imagination, a distorted murmur sounded which made you shriek and dive under your sheets. You were not a fan of horror movies but you sure as hell heard the noises ghosts made.
Your fear dissipated as the groans happened more frequently, sometimes there were sobs and muffled cries which made you clutch your phone in case you had a domestic violence case occurring right under your nose. But the pants, cusses, steady knocking, moans and whimpers that followed settled the turmoil coiling in your belly.
It was just Sukuna getting some. Good for him. That interruption was solved with music and your headphones.
Leniency was your mistake. You even joked with him about his sexual escapades when you saw him the next time. He shot you a wink. Now he had lady friends coming over every second night. And each time seemed to get louder than the fucking previous time. The women came in different shapes and sizes too so at least the guy was giving everyone a taste without discrimination. But fuck it was irritating. Some women sounded like they were being dragged away by a demon and you wondered if the man was an exorcist with the way you'd see the same conquest skipping out of his apartment and glowing the next morning.
Honestly, it made you question if you were really missing out. So one night while you were out on the town with your friends, you decided to take a handsome stranger home. Only to be disappointed and reminded that men in the market now were pathetic. You had half the mind to call Gojo, your friend and ex-lover. But you stopped that arrangement when it got too comfortable and you found yourself expecting boyfriend perks from a fuck buddy. He was bummed by it but accepted it.
As for Sukuna, you completely understand himâhe's young and full of drive just like you are. This noise pollution though is excessive.
You're at your limit one night when you've had a hard week at work, difficult clients and clearing deadlines taking a toll on you. All you wanted to do was curl up on your couch and read a book. Then like clockwork, the âohsâ âahsâ âfucksâ and âyesssâ serenade started from the apartment next door. You ignored it at first, noise-cancelling earphones on. But the damn thumping that traveled through the walls might as well have been the fucking headboard knocking against your skull. To top it off, you were at the climax of your book and read the same paragraph fifteen times without a single word registering.
Tossing your book onto the couch so hard that it bounced, you slid on your slippers and went to your front door, swinging it open and marching to the next one. Fist clenched, you pounded on the door. There was some commotion but the noises stopped with a whine of complaint and an apology.
Moments later, the man of the hour was standing before you, looking frustrated. âCalm down. No need to bang on it so roughâOh! Hey, neighbor.â His annoyance melted when he saw that it was you and he braced a hand on the door frame.
âDon't âhey, neighborâ me. And I could say the same thing to you. Do you know how loud you are? There are other people in the building,â you snapped.
He blinked like you spat at him, straightening up. âCome on now, do you think I'm a woman? âCause those noises weren't me.â
Huffing at his attempt at a joke, you crossed your arms over your chest, uncaring that you were in just a tank top, shorts and a robe. It didn't matter any since he was shirtless, littered with hickies, sweat and who-knows-what-else that was glistening on him, pink hair in disarray like his backwards boxers.
âAre you trying to be funny or something?â
He scrunched one side of his face. âOr something.â
Further irritated by his lack of apology or remorse, you stepped up to him. Chin raised, nose cocked in the air, you glowered.
âListen here, punk.â You could see the protest on his face at your name-calling but you didn't let him get a word in. âI've fucking had it with you running this place like it's a goddamn brothel. Some people have school or work tomorrow and they can't afford to be disturbed by an overgrown frat boy who can't conceptualize the fact that there are lives outside of his own.â
His brows creased, hand dropping from the frame to stand to his full height and speak up for himself. Despite him being a head or more taller than you, you still regarded him as if he were a mouse. Vitriol coated his tongue, ready to cut you down with his words.
Your nail poking him in the chest had his temper flaring but your gaze was so withering that his mind blanked. âKeep it fucking down before I call security or worseâan ambulance because my neighbor accidentally fell off his balcony.â
Did you just threaten him? His lips parted but you whirled around, long hair smacking him in the face and making him sputter as you stomped back into your apartment, slamming the door shut with finality.
You might as well have declared war because now he deliberately targets you albeit while ensuring his partners lower their voices. He parks in your spot, puts your mail in another person's box, takes your delivery boxes when you aren't home and apparently forgets to tell you until you're confused as to why your packages are delivered when they weren't.
Fighting fire with fire isn't wise but you were up against Sukuna so nothing was fair anyway. You clapped back by driving slow in front of him whenever you saw him pulling out of the parking lot, sending solicitors to his door to spread their religion or sell a product, doing the same with his calls by signing him up for different call center promotions and scattering bird seeds on his balcony so there were flocks of them there when he came out.
Safe to say that you were far from friendly now. Throwing scowls and sneers at each other in passing. He missed your stupid baking and you missed the eye candy but neither was worth being on civil terms. Occasionally, he'd let his lovers be loud just to irk you but didn't let it happen often enough for you to tear him a new one about it.
Then, as if all your meaningless curses came into fruition, the awful moans from his apartment were replaced with the wailing of a baby. You thought you were hearing things at first but the hiccuping cries were certainly from a baby and the hushing was from that asshole next door. A devious cackle left you at that, the gruelling paperwork you had to read through suddenly very appealing. Something about his irresponsible ways finally catching up with you fed your motivation as twisted as it sounded.
Fortunately for everyone, Sukuna manages to pacify the child for the most part. You hear the giggles and gurgles of the little one often enough to assume that he lives with the man full time. You never hear a woman's voice so he's either got custody or she left the baby with him. It's none of your business so you don't bother asking.
Shrieking shocks you out of your series-binging one lazy afternoon. You jolted up, heart pounding. Sukuna is trying and failing to calm the baby. The sounds are distressing, you even hear the residents downstairs murmur in concern. It's only been a week or two since the baby's appearance and now you're questioning if Sukuna's recklessness is affecting the kid's life.
And God, the infant has a strong set of lungs with how long and how loud he's screaming, inconsolable. You hear Sukuna try to sing to him, shitty attempt by the way, and that upsets the child some more.
Like deja vu, you stand up and head to the door, opening it to go next door and see what the hell is the issue. You're stopped in your tracks when you find the said man there, looking frazzled with the squirming, chunky baby cradled to his chest. The cries make you wince, ears ringing from how piercing they are.
âUgh, did the excellent pull-out game you thought you had fail you?â You cringe, covering your ears, eyes on the red-faced baby who doesn't look older than six months with a light pink head of hair.
Sukuna rears back, voice raising to talk over the baby's noise. âWhat? You think this is my kid? I'm not careless, woman.â
With a scoff, you roll your eyes. âLook here, big guy. He may have been born yesterday but I wasn't. You expect me to believe that the child who's got the same hair colour as you isn't yours?â
His brows shoot up to his hairline. âYou're serious? That's like accusing someone with brown hair of being related to their partner who has brown hair.â
That siblings or dating reasoning doesn't really make sense. âWell excuse me if pink hair isn't common.â You toss your hands up.
Overstimulated by arguing with you and the crying baby, Sukuna grunts in defeat.
âOkay, whatever you say, justâCan you help?â He moves closer and you step back in surprise.
Hands out, you pause. âHold on, what makes you think I know my way around babies?â
Sukuna shrugs. âYou're a woman, aren't you? Don't you have likeââ He gestures to your being with his head.
âHuh? You think I have maternal instincts just because I was born a female?â You were outraged.
He grimaces. âShit, that sounds really obnoxious when you say it like that. Just please, help me. He won't shut the fuck up.â
Your head snapped up at that. âDon't talk about a baby that way! He doesn't know any better!â
Sukuna gives an apologetic smile laced with desperation. âSee? You're protective already. Kidding!â He adds the last part when you look like you'd hit him if not for the precious cargo in his hands.
That precious cargo is still hiccupping and sobbing but is just a smidge calmer after all the commotion between you and his in denial dad. Looking over his shoulder, big brown glassy eyes meet yours, surrounded by thick, long lashes that are coated with tears, little nose red and a fat bottom lip. When he reaches for you, you feel your aversion crumble with his wet babble.
âGosh, hand him over,â you mutter, the annoyance in your voice softened as you scoop up the baby. âMaybe he's hungry?â You suggest, leaving your apartment and walking over to Sukuna's since all the baby supplies are there. He shuts your door and follows.
âYou think I didn't check? He threw the damn bottle at my head,â Sukuna grumbles, rubbing his chest as if it still hurts.
âWhat about his diaper?â You ask, stepping into Sukuna's apartment for the first time, the baby's cries lessening but still worrying.
âChanged him just a few minutes ago,â Sukuna replies, shutting the door behind him as he watches you bounce the little one in hopes of soothing him. He's a bit miffed that the kid calmed down with you, even if it wasn't entirely. âNo loyalty.â
âHuh?â
âNothing,â he dismisses.
Just a glance around his apartment revealed that the baby was an unexpected addition. The sleek interior was simple and comfortable, charcoal grey walls and furnishings with brick accents giving the place a masculine feel. His expensive appliances were a stark contrast to the baby formula, bottles and food next to them on the counter. The leather couch had colourful rattles, stuffed toys and a blanket covered in dinosaurs on it. Boxes for a car seat, crib and stroller were in the hallway.
âSo we've established thatâŚâ You trailed off, tilting your head.
âYuji,â Sukuna provided before you could ask.
Finding the name cute, you beamed at the baby. âYuji isn't hungry or wet. Maybe sleepy?â
âHe woke up just before I changed his diaper,â his dad tells you.
Humming, you paced with the baby, trying to figure out what else may help. âDoes your daddy suck? Is that why you're cranky?â
Flushing, Sukuna growls as he tidies up his space. âFor the last time, I am not his dad. I'm his uncle, actually.â
âYeah? Where's his parents then?â You challenge and he hesitates.
Clearing his throat, he focuses on clearing the couches of the toys, putting them in a box. âThey're gone for a few weeks.â
You squint, skeptical. âUh-huh.â
The baby's tantrum kick starts once again and you're back to trying to figure out what's wrong. With an inspection of his mouth, you find that he's teething.
âOof, teething is a bitch. You got any teething toys for him?â You glance at Sukuna who looks as if you asked him to do rocket science.
Two hours later, you're sitting on the couch with the baby in his sofa seat, frozen teething toy in his chubby hands as he gums on it, content like he wasn't screaming his guts out earlier. While the toy helped, the real savior came in the form of a low resolution anime on YouTube.
âDinosaur King? The fuck is this? Looks like a PokĂŠmon knock-off,â Sukuna complains from the kitchen island, the open-planned space allowing him to watch from there and make his stupid comments.
âIt's similar but it has its own premise,â you defend, adjusting Yuji's bib.
He clicks his tongue. âYeah, right. Which idiot even watches this? Why are there 3D dinosaurs in a fucking 2D showââ
You turn to glare at him. âStop swearing so much. And for the record, I quite enjoyed this as a kid.â
That shuts him up, his brows bouncing as he goes to the fridge as if he's got a lot to say. âThat checks out.â
âOh, really? Want me to turn it off and see what happens?â You hold the remote as if it's a bomb activator, which, given the baby's fragile mood, feels a lot like one.
His eyes narrow, never leaving you as he grabs you both a can of soda from the fridge and walks over, plopping down on the other side of his nephew.
âGeez, you're a cruel woman.â And for someone who had many complaints about the show, his eyes were glued to it, expression curious and mirroring the baby's.
That incident left you two on better terms. Not exactly friends but acquaintances who shared a fondness for Yuji. Try as you might, the little boy weaved his way into your heart with every bubbly giggle and gummy smile he shines your way. And when he'd grip your fingers in his little hand, you were a puddle of affection. While you did not see yourself having children ever given how costly and how much responsibilities they came with, you didn't mind taking care of this kid now and then.
Who knows what nonsense his bad influence uncle was putting into his growing brain? What if the jerk was snorting coke and drinking like a fish while watching the baby? It was better for the peace of mind of yourself and the well-being of the baby if you babysat him now and then. Sukuna was looking into getting a nanny since his life was busy but when you offered in exchange for a whole load of food because you had plenty of money already, he was more than grateful. That's how it startedâyou got his annoyingly good cooking and he got someone he reluctantly trusted with his nephew. You took the task seriously, reading up on babies, their playtime, mobility exercises and nurturing needs.
Most of the time, you would watch Yuji at his apartment because all the baby stuff was there. Your apartment wasn't exactly baby proof anyway. You'd sleep in the guest room if Sukuna was going to be out late for work, waking up to feed Yuji at three in the morning routinely just as his uncle got back home. Having to tend to a little baby was fun, you got to have your very own dress up doll. Sukuna had a whole range of rompers, animal onesies, beanies, shoes and matching sets for the kid. Combing his hair was a success for only a few days then he'd mess it up almost purposely so the wispy locks were sticking out which made him squeal in delight. You'd sit with Yuji in front of mirrors to flaunt his outfit and gushed about how handsome he looked which he'd coo at and reward you with cute grins, showing off his two new bottom teeth.
(Of course only a fool would accept staying at a complete stranger's home so often but that's why you carried a backpack filled with ammunition from pepper spray to an aluminum baseball bat in case you were granted with the opportunity of using them on his thug-looking âuncle.â)
Yuji spent most of his days taking naps, sitting on your lap while you spoke to him, crawling all over you like you were his very own playground while going âba-ba-ba,â having tummy time, splashing around in the bath and drinking lots of milk. He wasn't a very moody baby, he enjoyed babbling and cooing with round eyes and expressive eyebrows as if he was telling you stories. He loved walks in the park across the street too, pointing out things for you to tell him about and basking in the compliments of strangers. As long as he was cuddled a lot and showered in attention, he was content. Though Sukuna thought you spoiled him which you ignored because how the hell could that count as overindulgence? He's a baby!
There were instances where he'd throw up on you and have a nuclear waste worthy dump in his diaper. Sukuna and you would play rock paper scissors on who had to do it and he always lost to you. On the occasion you lost, you'd just run to your apartment, cackling, leaving him to deal with the stinky baby.
After too many drinks with his friends, Sukuna stumbled back into his apartment, slumping beside you on the couch and spilling the beans on Yuji's absent parents. Apparently his twin brother, Jin and his wife, Kaori were battling with a gambling and drug addiction. The substance abuse had begun after Yuji's birth but the gambling addiction had been prevalent even before. So the couple would disappear for weeks on end, worrying Wasuke, Sukuna's father. Sukuna didn't want to stress his dad so he kept this a secret from him and decided to take care of Yuji himself for the time being.
The story has surprised you. All this time you thought Sukuna was playing guardian because he had no other choice when in reality, he could hand the kid over to his dad and let the nannies who helped raise him and his brother handle it. As much as he complained and acted like the baby was a nuisance, you knew he loved him, and saw how he'd soften when Yuji would ask for him or when he'd play with him.
Since that night, Sukuna was more present as if he had a lot of time on his hands. You would go out with your friends and have fun too but you always missed the little boy and checked on him whatever time you came back, the habit sunken into the marrow of your bones. And maybe it had a bit to do with him saying more vowels now, brows furrowing as if he was eager to start talking so you wanted to be there when it happened.
Yuji sat in his high chair, donning denim overalls with a yellow tee inside and red sneakers, mouth open for the next airplane of pureed sweet potatoes. He was an impatient kid, huffing and puffing and kicking his stubby little legs if the food didn't get in his mouth fast enough.
Phone buzzing, you picked it up without checking the caller ID and trapped it between your shoulder and ear as you fed the demanding baby. âHello?â
âHey, sweets! How are you? Haven't heard from you in a while,â the voice belonging to none other than Gojo Satoru sings from the other end of the line.
You bite back a sigh, smiling at Yuji who's got orange mush and drool smeared around his mouth even after you've wiped it many times.
âI'm good, Gojo. How are you?â You return politely, aware that he's calling to see if you're willing to hook up again. It was easy with him because he was so charismatic, confident and eccentric. It keeps you on your toes.
But now, you're olderâwell, not really since this was just months agoâand casual sex wasn't appealing anymore. You wanted stability and hell, you had it. Bringing a man into your life was throwing a wrench into the works.
âI'd be better if you let me come see you sometime. You haven't even shown me your new place.â You can hear his overexaggerated pout over the line.
Hip against the counter, you sigh. âYou'll see it soon enough.â He was dramatic but you knew he wasn't celibate in all these months he hasn't seen you. Not that you cared, it was his life.
Groaning, he practically whined into the receiver. âFine but you know who to call when you need to be taken care of or want anything really.â That brought a smile to your face because if anything, Gojo was a great friend.
âAlright, I willââ A fussy squeal cut you off and you startled, looking over at the very cranky baby that you had forgotten. Even with those plump cheeks, he still wanted more sweet potatoes.
Before you could end the call, Gojo gasped so hard, you're surprised he didn't choke.
âOh my gosh, that's why you ended things! You secretly had my baby,â he accuses, half-joking.
Sputtering, you put another spoonful in Yuji's mouth. âPardon? This is not your baby.â
âIt adds up,â he muses. âWe haven't seen each other in five months.â
His math sucked. âDon't you think I would've been showing if that were the case, genius?â You pointed out, putting your phone on speaker so you could tend to the baby.
He scoffs. âCryptic pregnancies are a thing. Poor you! You should've told me. You had to go through all of that alone. I may be too young for fatherhood but I'd take responsibility.â
Sukuna walked in right then, brows scrunched. âWho's that?â
âIs that the step dad? Babe, you move on fastââ Gojo's embarrassing response is interrupted when you end the call.
âAn idiot friend who thinks I had his baby,â you say with a wave. Picking up Yuji who finally decided he was full, you carry him over to the sink to wash his face and hands.
Sukuna eyes your phone then you. âA friend, huh?â He repeats, knowing that if your friend said that they were either joking or you've slept with them.
You catch it in his tone and nod. âYeah, a friend.â
He stares at you for a second longer then snorts as he unpacks the groceries and puts them away.
âIf you say so. Though I doubt your friend has pink hair so if anyone's the dad, it'd be me,â he tells you unexpectedly.
Huffing in surprise, you set Yuji on your hip, dabbing his face with a cloth. âIs that so? I thought pink hair didn't mean he's your son.â
The man tosses you a half-lidded, mildly amused glance. For some reason, it makes your stomach flipâa development you just discovered with abject horror.
âCome on, it's obvious that it'd be me. Anyone would think so with how much time we've been spending together,â he reminds you. And yes, you're a bit mortified by how many times people have thought Sukuna and you were parents to Yuji when you were out together.
âPlease, with your track record, half the city is probably pregnant with your pink-haired babies,â you retort, handing Yuji over when he makes grabby hands for his uncle.
His uncle accepts him, nuzzling his nose against the little boy's cheek. A baby in his arms makes Sukuna look way less mean and unapproachable especially when his face is getting squished and tattoos poked at.
âIs that what you think?â He mumbles through puckered lips as Yuji's tiny hand smushes them together. He leans away to continue. âI'll have you know that I haven't brought anyone over since this little guy was left with me.â
His nephew moved onto messing up Sukuna's carefully styled hair while you stifled a laugh and tried to hold the conversation, wanting to have the last word as always.
âRight as if you weren't taking that business elsewhere,â you counter, taking the empty bowl and spoon and putting them in the sink.
Sukuna looks at you as if you're dumb. âWhat? Woman, I haven't been with anyone since Yuji's been in my care. Dealing with the firsthand consequences of the deed makes it way less appealing.â
(That and a certain neighbor who's ready to bite his head off at any moment. Cameras are installed all over his apartment so he's seen that as much as you're standoffish with him, you're not a stranger to having dance parties in his living room with Yuji kicking his legs and jutting out his arms to the music and other shenanigans he can't tease you about just yet. It made you endearing. Not that he'll admit it nor will you guess it.)
Rolling your eyes, you bring over a bottle of water to feed Yuji so he can digest his solids better, holding it up for him. The proximity gives Sukuna a direct view down your top but he's a gentleman and keeps his eyes on his nephew.
âDon't believe me? What, you don't wanna have cute babies with me?â He asks, amused by your unimpressed expression.
You take the bottle from Yuji, missing his discontent pout. âAh wanâ more,â he babbles.
âYou don't trust me after all of this time,â Sukuna lamented jokingly as if it wasn't just over two months of you two doing this makeshift coparenting.
As you're about to respond, something clicks for both of you, eyes widening as you look at the baby who's waiting expectantly.
âDid he justââ
âWas that an âI want moreâ or am I crazy?â
You and Sukuna ask at the same time before laughing and smothering Yuji in hugs, giving him another sip of water like he asked.
A month later, Yuji's steadily growing, his hair getting longer, sitting at his nape now and his liking for dinosaurs is at an all time high. Most of his wardrobe consists of the prehistoric creatures and his favorite plush is a brachiosaurus. He points to tyrannosauruses on screen and says, ââKuâ which is what he calls Sukuna sometimes instead of âDada.â Sukuna insists on it but you see the way he melts every time the boy slips up.
It's late one night when Yuji stirs, the mere sound of his whines waking you. Sukuna's out with his friends. You'd gone out last night with yours so you and Yuji spent most of the day napping as you were nursing your hangover so you anticipated that he'd wake up around this time past midnight.
Preparing his milk, you scoop him out of his crib, shushing him as you head back to the guest bedroom. Back against the headboard, you bring your knees up and hold him to your chest, his head resting in the crook of your arm as you put the bottle in his mouth. His eyes are wide open, inspecting all the lights on the ceiling and smiling around the teat as he bats his lashes at you.
You boop his nose, talking to him like he's a grown up as usual. It's for sure helped him understand better even if he isn't old enough to speak back or fully comprehend what you're saying.
The front door shutting alerts you of Sukuna's arrival. You hear his footsteps carry him to the nursery only for a confused âeh?â to sound from him when he finds it empty. His shadow falls across the guestroom doorway before he walks in.
âThere's the chubby brat. Is he troubling you?â Sukuna asks, no signs of inebriation as he comes over and takes the other side of the bed.
âNo but you are. Who said you could sleep here?â You raise a brow as if this isn't his place. Yuji squirms so you lift him a bit, his uncle in his view now.
âRelax, I'm here for my nephew. I'll be out of your hair soon.â He flicks his wrist at you.
Being the irritant he is, he rips the bottle out of Yuji's mouth with a wet pop, startling the baby. His face instantly scrunches, taking a deep inhale to let out the loudest cry but Sukuna gives him the bottle back and he forgets about it. This back and forth goes on for a few minutes, uncle chuckling meanly and mocking the whines and complaining babbles his nephew makes.
You find it funny but don't dare laugh as Yuji gets offended when you gang up on him. So you swat Sukuna's hand away and let the baby finish his milk in peace. You never get tired of watching him, especially when his eyes drooped, lids getting heavier with each blink until they flutter shut, bottle going slack in his mouth save for the one or two half-hearted suckles.
âHe looks drunk on it,â you whisper, turning to Sukuna.
Only to find him asleep as well, using your thigh as a pillow. You just hadn't noticed with the baby's weight on you. Offended, you want to push him off but his grumpy face smoothened out into something innocent stopped you. The room was quiet, only the sounds of their even breaths filling your ears.
At that very moment, something warmed in your chest and the corner of your heart where Yuji was tucked away expanded to encompass his uncle too. The mushy thought had you making a face. You did not like Sukuna like that. Surely not. You just grew fond of him. Platonically. As a byproduct of spending time with his nephew.
Pushing away the troublesome thought, another mischievous one popped into your head. Angling Yuji's bottle as if it were in Sukuna's mouth, you grabbed your phone and took a picture.
There was no shutter or flash but as you snickered quietly and moved your phone away, you held back a gasp to find one of his eyes open, boring into you with that ruby red glint in his iris like a scene out of Jurassic Park.
âI saw that,â he mumbled into your thigh. Turning his head away, he didn't seem to notice or care that his lips brushed your bare skin as your face heated up in embarrassment.
Yuji was rightâSukuna really was a fucking tyrannosaur.
note: this is really half-assed lmao but I wanted to get the idea out of my head. thank you to @peachygelic for encouraging me to write even when i'm not that motivated <3
between a smug academic rival, a masked hero you cannot stop thinking about, and a symbiote threat getting closer by the day, your life is quickly becoming unmanageable. gojo satoru keeps ruining your peace, spiderman keeps stealing your heart, and neither of them seems willing to tell you the truth. as secrets pile up and the city tips further into danger, you begin to realise the person breaking your heart and the one trying to save it may not be two different people at all.
pairing: nerd!jo + spiderman!jo x reader
content: mdni, fluff + crack + angst + smut, academic rivals to lovers (a bit), college slop + coffee slop, a little miscommunication, secret identity reveal, friends with benefits kind of, satoru and reader are bad at feelings, satoru makes bad choices, foot job, p in v, cunnilingus, angst (?) with a happy ending !!, some action scenes 55k+
note: the old title was âthe end of the worldâ or smth so take a shot everytime the world ending is mentioned in the fic! thank you for reading and iâll see you at the end for more yap :3
Some people say the world ended December 12th, 2012 and that weâre all living in purgatory. The dead internet theory, Trisha Payta giving birth every time a significant member of society dies, that triangle in the middle of fuckass nowhere, there are pointers that this canât be the reality we live in.
Not that you care because for all you know, the world ended for you on March 15th at 10:12am when you first met Gojo Satoru.
It was impossible to not know him beforehand, not when heâs friends with your friends. And that distinction matters, their friend rather than your friend because you donât associate with him, not willingly. In fact, you would have been beyond overjoyed if he remained that unnamed face sitting back row of your neuropharmacology tutorial class, and not the persistent nuisance that heâs grown to be.
Because ever since the world has ended and youâve matched the elusive name to face, Gojo has managed to worm his way into your life. Heâs there, slinging his arm over Shokoâs shoulder as if you both arenât glaring into the side of his head for it, dragging his friend Geto over too, the long haired boy at least having the decency to smile apologetically though not enough decency to leave.
Shoko never tells him off, which you originally assumed was her one and only tragic personality flaw until you eventually learned theyâd been childhood best friends for almost twenty years. After that, it became easier to file her reactions away as a chronic, lifelong exasperation, the kind that slowly builds over decades until the only move left is to sigh and let the idiot sit down.
But did that idiot have to be Gojo?Â
Ever since he entered your orbit that horrible day in March, you canât seem to ignore his existence. You see those irritating thick-framed glasses around every corner on campus, his messy white hair something tucked beneath the hood of his university jumper sometimes not, but always ruffled like he has just rolled out of bed. His laugh follows you around, a persistent soundtrack bleeding into every conversation you try to have with your actual friends. Heâs always there, hands in pockets, bulky backpack slung over both shoulders, slippers padding lazily against the pavement like heâs just walked straight out of his apartment and into your line of sight.
âRelax.â Shoko tells you one afternoon as you aggressively wiped down a table, the cafe quieter now the day was slipping into that evening quiet. âYou wonât have to see him ever again now that the semester is over. You can unclench.â
Her advice only makes you snort, giving the table one last swipe before straightening to look at her busied behind the counter. âNot true if you donât stop inviting him to everything. What made you even think of bringing him with us to the club last Friday?â
Your best friend opens her mouth as if to defend him and that alone is enough for you to gag.
âShoko, he showed up in a dress shirt. And a messenger bag. To the fucking club!â
âNot too much on him, he was coming straight from night classes.â
Like that helps his case. Like being top of the cohort, effortlessly breezing through the same exams that require endless all-nighters from you, isnât enough to satiate his greedy appetite. Like the universe hasnât already gift-wrapped him with endless talent, now he has to go above and beyond and take night classes too.
âYeah, well. You need to separate your personal life from your work life. Work-life balance.â
âI donât see how that makes sense,â Shoko retorts drily, speaking more to the sink than you as she washes up the last of the cups. âClubbing and Gojo are both my personal life. If anything, youâre the one bringing him into our work life right now.â
âYouâre the one that said being his friend is a full-time job.â
She sighs. âMinimal wage, too.â
You weave through the tables and duck behind the counter, tossing the rag into a discarded pile for the night staff to deal with, and squeeze Shokoâs shoulders as you pass behind her in the cramped space.
âHey,â you start, voice sweet. âLetâs cut him off.â
She shoves you off good-mannerly, pushing you again in the direction of the apron rack to help you with the knot. âCut him some slack, wonât you? Or donât. Just forget about him. Like I said, now that the semester is over, you wonât have any reason to see him ever again.â
âThatâs honestly up to you. Sure, I wonât see him in classes anymore but are you going to spontaneously invite him to lunch again? Heâs not coming to our Saturday cheese tasting plans, is he? What about that aquarium we wanted to check out?â
Her hands pause before she loosens the knot and turns so you can untie her apron in return. âIâll tell him no to both.â
âOh, so he asked?â
âYou have no idea.â As if sensing the rant already bubbling up your throat, Shoko quickly hands you your phone from under the counter. âBy the way, your phoneâs been buzzing the entire shift. Youâre not still talking to that guy, are you?â
You take it, dragging the screen down to scroll through missed notifications. âWho?â
âThe double texter.â
Thereâs the typical ones youâd expect, some Outlook emails about irrelevant study tips, some random Twitter notifications from the many inactive accounts youâve abandoned but never bothered logging out of, and miscellaneous app alerts you swipe away without reading. Buried beneath them though, is the familiar little red icon from that forum app you absolutely should have deleted months ago, a fresh reply sitting under the thread thatâs been irritating you all week.
Your mouth tightens and you swipe it away before you can be sucked away into the ragebait.
âY/N?â
âHm?â You look up, realising Shoko is still waiting for a response. âOh, no. This is⌠a guy from Hinge.â
The hesitation isnât lost on her but she gives you grace and doesnât press for the truth. âRight. Just be careful, alright? I donât know what is going on in this city anymore but thereâs been way too many incidents on the news about people going missing. You know itâs bad when all the news channels are all suddenly interviewing men in tight spandex suits.â
You snort, tucking your phone away to finish clocking out of your shift. ââMenâ like thereâs multiple. You mean that one spider guy, right? His superhero name is uncreative as hell.â
âHe shoots webs from his wrists and climbs walls, what else would he call himself?â
âAnything but the first thing a five year old could come up with. Thatâs like pointing to a man who can fly and calling him Flying Man.â
Shoko locks the cafe doors behind, the metal click satisfying after a long shift. She gives the handle two firm tugs just to be sure because the city is a mess apparently, then steps back so she can flip the sign to CLOSED, the glass catching a smear of gold from the streetlights outside.
âSuperhero names are hardly creative these days.â
âWeâre losing the ancient texts.â
By now, evening has settled in properly, the campus washed in that dusky blue-orange light that makes everything look prettier than it is. You stop to take a few photos of the sunset, then slip your phone away and breathe in the cool breeze as Shoko falls into step beside you, the two of you cutting across campus out toward the busier street.
âWhat ancient texts? Thereâs literally someone called Superman because heâs super.â
You roll your eyes. âThat is so not helping your case.â
âIt is helping my case because it proves people like straightforward names. Also, it helps with making merch.â
âHow can you be so confident and be so wrong?â
Shoko bumps your shoulder lightly as you walk, enough to make you sway half a step before you right yourself and return the gesture.
Cars hiss past at the intersection ahead, headlights briefly washing over the footpath. Somewhere behind you, someone shouts a name across the road and is followed by a burst of noisy laughter. Thereâs a kind of peace at this twilight, a sense of calm that feels despairing.
âAre you sure you donât want a lift?â Shoko asks as you both slow to a step, effectively dragging you out of a potential spiral. âI canât imagine the bus being your favourite form of transport.â
You blink at her before shaking your head, reorganising your thoughts. âItâs fine. Besides, I know you have that thing with Utahime later.â
âItâs not a thing. Weâre just going to a jazz bar.â
âSure, okay. But just the two of you.â
âWe did invite you,â Shoko reminds you with an unimpressed look. âYouâre the one that declined.â
âI wasnât going to third wheel again.â
âUtahime would kill you for saying that.â
âIâd be more worried that sheâd kill herself if she found out youâre not labelling it as a date.â
Shoko kicks a loose rock on the pavement, avoiding your eyes. âThatâs because itâs not a date. Itâs a jazz bar outing.â
âJazz is like, inherently romantic. Havenât you heard âCareless Whispersâ?â
âThatâs the dumbest thing youâve said all day. âCareless Whispersâ is about a man cheating,â
âWait, are you serious?â You shake your head to dispel the song from playing in your mind, reining in the conversation before she can successfully deflect. âAnd I doubt thatâs the dumbest thing Iâve said all day. I think Iâve had some better bangers.â
âTrue, the dumbest thing that left your mouth was probably Gojo. You know, for someone who claims to hate him, you sure do talk about Gojo a lot. Donât groan at me, Iâm just saying.â
âIâm complaining about him. That has to be different.â
Shoko tilts her head, studying you up and down as she considers your words. She ends her evaluation with a hum. âI donât know, people usually donât spend that much time thinking about someone they actually donât care about.â
The implications are so frankly absurd the only thing you can do is wish her well. âIâm going to kill you.â
She raises her hands in surrender, already backing away in the direction of the parking lot.âAnyway! Thereâs no reason to complain about him anymore. Live a little!â
âPlease,â you scoff. âLike Iâd ever willingly think about Gojo ever again. You donât need to tell me that.â
She laughs softly, catching the words just before they disappear with the wind. You watch her back for a few seconds longer before blinking out of your thoughts. For some reason, the sound follows you all the way to the bus stop.
Realistically, Shokoâs words have some truth to them. It is rather easy to forget all about Gojo and his crimes against humanity (you) when you donât see him over the two-week break. Instead, you go to concerts with Utahime, visit art museums with Nanami and gossip and giggle over brunch with Shoko.
There's a peaceful monotony as days blend into each other, until one morning when your alarm rings at an hour once familiar to you and you get up to start another semester.
Checking your timetable one more time, you sigh at your misfortune. It was inevitable that your courses wouldnât always align with the rest of your friends. In fact, it was a miracle that you even had classes with Shoko last semester considering she wasnât even doing the same degree. You shouldnât be too disappointed after all, when you posted a story asking if anyone else was taking this course, a few people you vaguely recognised had swiped up. They're mostly acquaintances, people youâve met once from parties and events, but itâs miles better than being alone.
You double-check the lecture hall number one last time outside the building, hoping the extra second will magically give you the cure to the brewing headache at your temples, before you finally push open the door.
The buzz of conversation hits you immediately. Rows of students fill the lecture hall, voices overlapping as people reunite after the break, bags dropping onto chairs and laptops snapping open performatively. A few heads turn when you walk in, not unusual unfortunately, but you pretend not to notice, adjusting the strap of your tote as you scan the room.
You spot some familiar faces sitting toward the back, relief loosening the tight knot in your chest as you begin to climb the steps.
The smile on your face drops the moment your eyes driftâthose traitorous thingsâto the front row.
Gojo slouches in his seat, the tiny fold-out table already pulled out in front of him, bag resting on top. Heâs the only one sitting front row and centre, and considering how immersed he is with his phone, you doubt he has any plans to share the space with anyone else. He causally lifts his glasses with his finger in a way you thought perfectly suits his pretentious personality.
His hood is thrown over his head, feet stretching out in front of him. One of his hoodie strings is kept between his lips as he absentmindedly chews at it, so relaxed, so casual, so oblivious to the world ending around you.
You freeze.
Someone tries to enter the hall and almost bumps into you, and itâs this near collision that finally jolts you into motion. Your instincts kick in and you hastily duck your head, climbing up the stairs where your friends are waiting.
Nobara waves you closer, tucking her feet closer to her chest to let you into the row. âHey, Y/N! It's been a while.â
âHey,â you say, hoping it comes off casual and not dripped in fear. âYeah, I didnât think you were doing this course too. What a coincidence. Hey, can you give me a second?"
When you sink into your chair, you whip out your phone and frantically type away.
you: no fucking way
im going to kill myself
shoko: ik u have some crazy attachment issues but uâll get over it i promise
utahime: aww i think its cute u miss us so much if not a little pathetic
you: i dont give a gaf about that anymore
u wouldnt believe who else is taking this course
shoko: weâre not the fucking akinator guy y/n
utahime: i could be if u gave me more hints
guy or girl?
are they a youtuber?
you: itâs gojo
utahime: wtf spoilers??
wait gojo oh my god LMAOO
shoko: oh ure definitely gonna tweak
Your eyes only tear away from Gojo when the lecturer enters the room and when the door closes behind him, you feel the sudden, irrational urge to bolt for the exit. Because was it just your imagination or was there a sense of finality to that door slam? Gojo was meant to be a nightmare for one semester, a pain in the ass for one chapter of your life and yet here he is, the back of his head just as infuriating as the front.
âWelcome to neuropharmacology3211.â When the lecturer begins the lesson, you watch as Gojo barely sits up to listen. âIâll pass along the attendance sheet now. Just for everyoneâs sanity I need to let you know that these lectures arenât compulsory, however we do encourage you to attend.â
You panic. An attendance sheet. With your name on it. For all to see.
You watch in despair as it begins its slow journey across your side of the lecture hall. Mournfully, you tick off your name with Nobaraâs pen and pass the paper along, trying not to imagine the inevitable moment it reaches the front row.
Around and around it goes until it stops at the last person, the only person sitting in the front row on the left side of the hall.
Gojo absentmindedly spins his pen, flipping the paper to the other side when he canât find his name. He runs a finger down the list as the lecturer drones though you doubt either you or Gojo are actually paying attention.
From this distance you canât make out his subtle movements but at one point, he stops spinning his pen and looks up, glancing briefly around the room.
You immediately duck down, finding something immensely interesting about your laptop. You donât look up until Nobara elbows you gently and asks if you need any ibuprofen. You shake your head, daring to cautiously peek over the edge of your laptop.
Gojo continues to face the front and you let out a small sigh of relief, straightening just enough to give off your best impression of someone who has been paying attention the entire time.
It's the usual mandatory assessment outline, a rundown on everything that actually mattered in the course: midterms, finals, biweekly quizzes. You mindlessly add the dates to your calendar until the professor highlights the missing 20% of the final grade.
âAnd finally, there is a pair presentation due in week 7.â Your eyes twitch and you cast your gaze back to the front. âThe details of the assessment will be explained during this weekâs lab so ask your questions then.â
A group project. Even worse, in pairs. Your eyes slide instinctively toward Gojo and the dread in your stomach collapses in on itself, condensing into something dense and horrible.
âYour pair and topic will be emailed to you later today.â The professor continues and when groans echo across the room, they only chuckle, undeterred. âDiversity is good for group work. Your colleagues wonât always be your friend.â
You glance around the room. How many people were in this class? Many, so many. What are the chances you get paired with Gojo? Slim, at least you hope so.
The moment the lecture ends, you shove your laptop into your bag, and flash Nobara an apologetic smile as you book it for the door. You keep your head down, both hands clutching your tote as it digs into your shoulder while you weave through the crowd spilling into the aisle.
Freedom appears as a bright light before you, and you almost think youâre safe whenâ
âNo way.â
Your pace stutters and against every instinct in your body screaming at you to keep walking, you freeze.
âY/N?â
Someone knocks into your shoulder on the way out and before you can use the momentum to slip out with the rest of the crowd, a hand grabs your arm and pulls you to the side.
You glare up at Gojoâs stupid face. He peers down at you, all ego and cocky exterior, like heâs discovered something entertaining. He sniffles, rubs his nose and pushes up his glasses all in one making you grimace at his apparent lack of hygiene.
âGod, why did it have to be you?â you grumble, more to yourself than him. You shake off his hold, pressing your arm to your side to prevent any further contact. âDonât touch me.â
âI knew I saw your name on the attendance sheet.â He smirks down at you, taking in the familiar sight of your frown. âCome on, smile a little. Youâre making it look like I'm extorting you.â
âDon't talk to me like weâre familiar, Gojo.â
âArenât we?â
âWe aren't.â
âWe talk though.â
âYou talk, I try my best to ignore you.â
âWe have mutual friends.â He points out next as if this hasnât been the sole reason for your pain and suffering. God bless Shokoâs kind, patient heart for putting up with him, but if you had to see his face at another outing you might decide to wrap your fingers around your neck and squeeze instead of staying.
âUnfortunately.â
His lips only curl into that irritating and carefree smile, worse when you decide begrudgingly that it could also pass as charming. Any potential compliment dies immediately when he speaks again.
âWhat crawled up your ass and died?â
âDonât talk about my ass.â
âCome on, are you still being a sore loser over finals? You had two whole weeks to get over that.â
That gets you. You exhale sharply, eyes narrowing dangerously as you lean forward to poke at his chest.
âFirst of all,â you begin, âI am not being a sore loser over finals. The one making a big deal of things is you so if youâre trying to get my attention, there are far less tedious ways.â
His eyebrows shoot up. âYou think I'm trying to get your attention?â
âIs there another reason why you wonât leave me alone, Gojo?â You sigh like itâs the most obvious thing. âLook, youâre not my type and thatâs okay. Not everyone can be. But seriously, sticking to me like an annoying bug isnât going to fix that. If anything, it worsens your chances, not that you had any to begin with.â
He waits and when you only seethe, he prompts you, âAnd?â
You blink, temporarily off guard. âThatâs it.â
âThen why did you start withâfirst of allâ?â
Your eyes narrow. âItâs like talking to a genie with some of you people.â
His grin is too easy, too casual as if you werenât fighting for your life to restrain from murdering him, as if he isnât standing between you and your only exit from this hell.
âHey, I just wanted to clarify,â he says, raising his hands up in a gesture of surrender that only grinds your gears further. âNo need to get so pissy. Itâs not a good look on you.â
You grit your teeth. âNo defense for the allegations though, I see.â
Gojo looks around with a hum, eyes doing a lazy sweep of the emptying lecture hall, hands lowering slightly. âYouâd think after all this time, youâd finally get the hint.â
He casts his gaze back to you expectantly, failing to elaborate on his cryptic message and you take a moment to think.
There were many things he isnât exactly subtle about:Â
flaunting his academic prowess
how much he seems to thrive off your annoyance
You pick the second. âWhat, that you get off to a pretty woman telling you to kill yourself?â
He presses his lips together, as if giving it serious thought. Your face immediately twists into something that can only be described as a grimace, and he laughs.
âDo you usually spend a lot of time thinking about what gets me off?â
âDo you always have to ask me stupid questions?â
âOnly because you always find a way to make the answers fun.â
âI'm telling you this now, Gojo. Youâve outgrown the age where teasing the girl you like works,â you shoot back with a snarl, unable to hide your frustration.
For a moment, something in his expression shifts.
Gojoâs eyes drop and you feel his gaze burn down your neck and drag from your top to your shoes. You canât help but shiver at the intensity of his stare and maybe he notices because he scoffs, looking away. âThat hurts my reputation. Youâre not my type.â
Your eye twitches. âBat for the other team, do you?â
âHow egotistical. You think just because a guy doesnât like you he must be gay?â
âWell, thereâs definitely a higher likelihood."
âYou must have tested that with a small sample size because that doesnât sound statistically significant.â
You roll your eyes, shifting your weight to edge closer to the door. âOf course you canât help but be a fucking nerd about everything."
âWhining doesnât exactly help your side of the argument."
âNo, but it might stop me from reaching over and punting your head in.â
Gojo whistles low, the noise sharper now that most students have left. âAre you purposefully testing me? I thought we established that I liked girls who keep me on my toes.â
You wrinkle your nose. âThereâs a difference between keeping someone on their toes and wanting to throttle them.â
âYou better be careful because it's a thinner line than most for me.â
âYou are disgusting.â
âThat doesnât explain why you keep talking to me, though.â
âLike I have a choice. Youâre the one who grabbed my arm. If I miss my bus because of you doing whatever this is with me, I will put you in the ground.â
âYouâre still here though.â
You sigh, exasperated. âBecause youâre standing in the fucking doorway, you idiot.â
âOh,â he says, but makes absolutely no move to step aside.
You inhale slowly through your nose, channeling a calm you most certainly do not feel. âMove.â
âSay please.â
Your smile turns dangerously sweet. âI said move.â
âStill not hearing the magic word.â
You give up, sensing youâll only continue to lose. Before you can suck it up and brush past him, dreading even the brief contact of his shoulder against yours, he steps closer. His gaze flutters down for a moment, something foreign passing over his face as he clears his throat.
It makes your heart seize at how unfamiliar he looks, though that fades quickly when his eyes snap back up, that irritating grin firmly in place.
âActually, I was thinking. Are you free thisââ Before he can finish, a loud tune sounds from his pocket and he groans, abandoning his words to pull out his phone. The smile that had been on his face scrunches up, and he absentmindedly types a response with one hand before looking back up at you. âMy bad. I was going say if youâreââ
But in the few seconds his attention is elsewhere, youâve already bolted.
âHey, wait!â His voice chases after you and you press on, echoing faintly against the tiled floors as you round the corner at a pace thatâs just shy of running. âIâm going to count this as my win if you run away from me!â
You jam your airpods into your ears with unnecessary force, scrolling blindly until music floods your head and drowns him out completely.
If the world was going to convince you it wasnât about to end, it better start looking up for you soon.
Unfortunately, the world really doesnât give a shit about what you think because your karmic debt piles high.
Shoko had abandoned you in your time of need, leaving you to tackle the shift alone. You close the cafe door behind you, turning the key so that the handle doesnât rattle under your palm, and sniff when the cold air immediately bites at your face. Your scarf comes up instinctively, burying your nose and mouth as a harsh wind cuts through the street now that youâre no longer protected by the warmth of the cafe.
What a long day.
You clutch your scarf as it flutters wildly until the wind settles, the evening air growing still enough that it stops stinging your cheeks.
Nothing particularly bad had even happened today.
It wasnât overly busy though it was far from quiet. You even managed to pass the long hours when some old friends showed up, though the conversation had only lasted as long as it took to make their coffee.
But when itâs still or in the moments when you wait for a customerâs order, you feel something unpleasant settle in. The air feels too stale, time clicking by too slowly and the sensation of the ground moving beneath is unnerving. Your eyes refuse to move at times and you find yourself zoning out at nothing, hands moving in autopilot as you make drink after drink after drink, the repetition slowly pulling you apart one seam at a time.
Your feet find their way to the bus stop and you breathe out slowly, mist curling into the cold evening air as you look up to watch it dissipate.
How freeing would it be to be up there? The wind in your hair, biting cold against your nose and the tips of your ears, the rush of air in your lungs, and that terrifying exhilaration that comes from rising and falling and rising again. You imagine being weightless, being untouchable, being above it all and finally free.
You shake that nonsense thought away.
Itâs just one of those bad days.
The bus pulls up, blowing exhaust and humid air, and youâve only just placed a foot onto the bus when a loud crash sounds to your left.
You look over just as something flies past and slams into the bus stop, the metal denting under the immense weight. Itâs not your finest moment but you duck, covering your head, and let out a scream as the loud noise deafens you.
The bus drives off in the chaos, certainly breaking several traffic laws, and you curse the driver when you realise youâve been abandoned.
Peeking an eye open as the dust settles, you lower your arms and come face to face with the heavy object that had slammed against the stand.
Slowly, you ask, â...Spiderman?â
The blue and white figure coughs, hitting his chest with his fist. âYou called?â
Spiderman looks up and freezes. It might be your imagination but he looks even more winded when his eyes lock on yours. Actually, youâre certain itâs your imagination because his mask completely obscures his facial expressions, save for the slight widening of the white parts indicating his eyes.
You crawl forward a little. âShit, you went down hard. Do you have a concussion?â
The superhero runs a battered hand down his face, stopping only when it slides down to cover his mouth, and lets out a muffled groan. âYou have got to be fucking kidding.â
You blink. âExcuse me?â
Before he can say anything else, a wet, splintering crack sounds from across the street.
You look over your shoulder as he tilts to look around you. A man staggers out of gate five beside the university-run pharmacy, though stagger might be too human a word for it. Something black and shining writhes over his body, swallowing him from the neck down like spilled tar, except tar doesnât pulse. It stretches over his arms in twitching strands and thickens into jagged unnatural muscle, back hunching with a sickening pop as he lurches forward.
You rub your eyes and stare again.
âI know the feeling,â Spiderman says, pushing himself upright with a wince. âThatâs my exact review too.â
The thingâs head jerks in your direction.
Spiderman notices before you do, wringing out his hands and doing some jumping jacks on the spot. âAnd thatâs my cue to ask you very calmly to start running.â
When the thing charges at you, thereâs no time to pretend to be composed. You let out a noise somewhere between a gasp and a shriek and fling yourself backward as the thing barrels forward. A web shoots from behind you and lands on the bus stop-frame, yanking Spiderman into its path just in time to take the hit instead.
He gets absolutely bodied.
âJesus Christ,â you blurt as he falls back further down the road.
Spiderman slings to grab onto a nearby, and luckily deserted car, and slams it into the side of the villain, picking himself up in the few seconds he has to breathe when the figure crashes into a nearby building.
âI know,â he wheezes, dusting off his suit. âEveryone says that when they see me. Iâm basically the second coming of that guy.â
âAre you okay? Do you need⌠backup?â You look around at the site. Cars have started swerving and backing away to avoid the scene and bystanders are ducked somewhere safe. You alone remain inside the heavily damaged bus stop a few metres from where the figure is now pulling itself onto his feet.
Realistically, you should do the smart thing and hide, too. But one feeble attempt to get on your feet tells you what you already know; that youâve managed to fuck up your ankle in your panic.
Spiderman has his hands thrown up. âWhy are you not running? I told you to run.â
âWhy are you losing?â
âIâm not losing,â he snaps, affronted. âAre you always this difficult? Listen to the cityâs superhero and get out of here.â
âIf this is my superhero, then Iâm already cooked.â
The creature roars and charges again, much alike a bull seeing red and youâre the unfortunate sole on the ground in its path.
Spiderman seems to have enough sense to conclude thereâs something wrong with your body and not your head as he swears, shooting two webs in quick succession, one to a traffic light pole and the other to the creatureâs arm, trying to stabilise himself to swing the heavy villain sideways. It works for maybe half a second before the pole lifts off the ground and Spiderman sighs before being the one flung away.
You watch as Spiderman hits the ground hard, again. Thankfully, itâs enough distraction for the figure to leave you alone but you can only grimace especially when he picks himself up.
Spiderman pushes up on one knee, clearly trying to buy time, and calls, âHey, big guy, quick question before you maul me. Is this like, a skincare thing? Because I think whatever routine youâre on is clogging your pores. Thereâs a pharmacy right over there. Want me to get you some pimple patches?â
The figure ignores his provocation by charging forward again and itâs you that looks back over your shoulder at the pharmacy. Frankly put, your trust in the masked vigilante is at an all time low and if thereâs any chance of living beyond this encounter, you need to do something.
Despite the throbbing pain in your ankle, you pull yourself up against the dented wall of the bus stop and edge closer to the campus. Then, you break into a valiant attempt at a sprint.
âThatâs it, get out of here!â he calls out after you.
You grit your teeth both from the pain and general annoyance. âIâm not running!â
âWhat the hell are you doing then?â
âSomething useful, unlike you!â
Spiderman finally looks up from wrangling with the figure. âHuh?â
You manage to limp to the pharmacy and wrench its fire extinguisher free from its bracket, using more effort than expected especially as youâre already winded and nearly fumble with the weight of it. You spin back around just as the creature grabs Spiderman by the throat and slams him into the side of the bus stop again. You hobble back to the scene with a sympathetic wince.
My God, the thing is already gone, leave it alone.
The figure looms over the fallen superhero, the goo oozing off solidifying into a slimy tendril that sharpens. It slides along Spidermanâs jaw and tilts his head up, cutting right through the fabric of his mask before stopping at his throat.
The figure opens its mouth as if to say something but is cut off when you yank the pin with shaking hands. For a moment, nothing happens and youâre all about ready to apologise and excuse yourself from the scene when the extinguisher goes off in a violent burst of white foam that manages to encapsulate the figure despite the distance.
The black mass recoils with a horrible screech, the sound sharp and inhuman, like nails scratching against metal. It peels back in frantic, rippling waves, twitching and writhing away from the spray. The man underneath the goo drops to one knee, gasping as his eyes roll back down from the back of his head, and shudders before collapsing on the ground.
What remains of the gunk ripples along the pavement before slithering down a gutter and leaving nothing behind, almost as if nothing had ever happened. If not for the battered bus stop and the hole in the wall.
You lower the extinguisher slowly, breathless. âMaybe I should give this superhero thing a shot.â
âNah, I donât think you have the guts for it.â
Before you can even turn properly to defend your case, strong arms hook around you and the ground disappears.
The sound that leaves you is less scream and more pure, humiliated terror as gravity tilts sideways. You catch a flash of white, the sharp snap of a web latching somewhere high above, and then heâs hauling you up with it, body lifting clean off the pavement.
âWaitââ
The city drops out beneath you in dizzying blurs of orange streetlights and rooftops, your stomach left somewhere back by the ruined bus stop. Spiderman carries you like you weigh nothing, one arm locked securely around your waist whilst the other shoots webs with impossible precision, each swing smooth despite the fact that he had been getting his ass kicked mere seconds ago. Wind tears at your scarf and shoves tears from your eyes.
You clutch at him with both hands âHold on, we need to go back and help that guy!â
âIâm a superhero, not a paramedic!â Spiderman calls back, voice steady despite the speed. âHeâll be fine, help is already on the way. But thereâs an unconscious guy on the ground, a destroyed bus stop, at least six insurance claims, and Iâm pretty sure your bus abandoned you ages ago. You cannot stay there.â
âAnd thatâs the reason why Iâm up here?â
âSuperhero, my ass,â he might have said but your attention is pulled in far too many directions to be sure.
You make the fatal mistake of looking down. The road below is a smear of headlights and moving colour, terrifyingly far away.
âOh my God,â you gasp, squeezing your eyes shut again. âThis is how I die. Iâm going to become roadkill. Iâm going to go splat.â
âThat is so hurtful after I literally just rescued you.â
âI would still be grateful if you had left it there.â
His laugh is snatched by the wind, warm and infuriating and entirely too amused for someone who had looked so pathetic sprawled out on the ground. He adjusts his grip slightly when your fingers knot tighter in the front of his suit, and if he notices how hard youâre shaking, he has the decency to not make anymore comments, swinging you both up in a smooth arc.
âOkay,â he relents. âDeep breaths, Iâm not actually going to drop you.â
You give your most valiant attempt of a snort. âTelling me to breathe deeply as Iâm not already trying.â
âWould you prefer shallow, panicked ones then?â
âI would prefer to be on the ground!â
âYour wish is my command.â
After another swing and a sharp turn that nearly rips your soul from your body, Spiderman descends toward the quieter edge of campus and lands in a narrow pedestrian lane beside the university security office. Itâs bright here, washed in fluorescent light, and close enough to the main road that you can already hear the traffic and voices navigating the post-chaos.
The second your shoes touch concrete, your knees threaten to fold. You grab his arm on instinct, digging your fingers in as you glance at him. âYou do that every day?â
You can almost hear the smugness in his voice, and something else. âItâs basically my 9-5.â
Itâs most definitely just your imagination but you feel as though his gaze softens, looking at you trembling like a newborn bird. He watches as you regain sensation in your legs though your hand remains on his arm. He doesnât make any move to remove it.
A baffled laugh escapes you, more air than sound. âI canât believe Iâm still alive.â
âDo you need to sit down?â
You shake your head softly. âIâm fine⌠thank you for saving me, Spiderman.â
âI should be thanking you. I was getting my ass kicked out there.â
âI know, I saw.â
He tilts his head. âI thought you were thankful?â
âBoth those things can be true at the same time.â Then, you go on your tippy toes and press a soft kiss to his cheek. âBut Iâm definitely very thankful.âÂ
You feel the superhero stiffen under your touch and the white fabric of his mask widens before he jerks slightly backward, free hand flying up to hover over where you kissed. âDid you justââ
Thereâs something about the tone of his voice, pitched higher now in surprise, that has you blinking. âYou soundâŚâ
If you werenât sure about his tension before, he most definitely freezes now, his hand pulling back down to rest over your hand on his arm and pull it off. âOh, uhâyou should head back, injured and stupid civilian. I know the people in the office. They should be able to get you home.â
âNo wait, hold on.â You narrow your eyes, taking a step forward that he immediately responds to by stepping back. âDo I know you?â
He points at himself, backing away slowly. âMe? You might have seen me on the news or seen one of my promotional posters.â
âNo, because you were weird the second you saw me.â
âI was bleeding out and on the verge of death,â he says. âLetâs not pathologise me.â
âYou looked right at me and said something like, âyou have got to be fucking kiddingâ.â
He tilts his head and takes another step back. âDid I say that? Hm, no, not ringing any bells. Your ankle is injured, maybe stop walking towards me. Youâre freaking me out and I donât do well with girls.â
You open your mouth to say more when he suddenly points at something over your shoulder. âOh shit, is that a bird? A plane?â
You turn instinctively. There is no one there, of course, but itâs a realisation seconds too late. Because by the time you whip back around, heâs already two steps away, web fired high above, body coiled to launch.
âOh, you assholeââ
âGet home safe!â he calls, voice cheerful in a way that irks you.
âWaitââ
He shoots upward before the word can properly leave your mouth. You hobble forward, outrage momentarily stronger than the pain in your ankle.
âYou canât just dump me here and leave!â you yell after him. âIâm literally injured! Jerk!â
âMaâam, can we help you?â
You freeze and your shoulder slump even as you turn around. The staff inside the office have stepped out hearing all the commotion and you realised Spiderman can definitely leave an injured civilian here. Curse his fast thinking and kind heart.
You freeze and your shoulder slump even as you turn around. The staff inside the office have stepped out hearing all the commotion and you realised Spiderman can definitely leave an injured civilian here. Curse his fast thinking and kind heart.
Itâs only when the sun has lowered into a splash of pink and orange in the sky that you finish tolerating the endless questioning from both the security office staff and the police. Thankfully, theyâre kind enough to drive you back to your apartment though youâre slightly annoyed the rest of the day had been wasted on telling them âI donât knowâ over and over again.
The moment you step back into your room, your phone buzzes with multiple notifications. Thereâs an Outlook email from your neuropharmacology course and three texts from an unknown number.
unknown: looks like you lucked out and weâre partners
itâs gojo btw
lets meet tomorrow @ uni library
And because you genuinely cannot feel even worse than you already do, you turn your face to bury into your pillow and groan.Â
You donât end up confirming Gojoâs plans until halfway through your morning tutorial the next day when he double texts.
DO NOT ANSWER: ?
donât leave me on read
you can hate me all u want but the project is worth 20% yk!!!!!!
you: ok
time?
DO NOT ANSWER: ohhh so now u respond huh
id hate to think im forgettable
you: time
DO NOT ANSWER: (âĽďšâĽ)
iâll get on campus at 12 ish so like in ten minutes
you: done
DO NOT ANSWER: >âŠ<
You push the thought that as a grown man, he really shouldnât be texting like that away, and flip your phone back down on the table just as the class ends.
âWant to check out this new bingsu place near the station?â Utahime chatters as she shoves her iPad into her tote and picks up her coffee, watching you follow behind albeit slower with dread. âThey have this new Thai tea bingsu and it looks crazy good. Shoko swears by it butâand you canât tell her I said thisâitâs crazy that she went out for lunch without us. Does she not fuck with us anymore? Who did she even go with?â
You smile wistfully at her. âI wish I could, Utahime, but I already have plans after this.â
âWhat the fuck, et tu?â She processes your words with a frown. âDid you take on a shift today? I thought you only had this one class today.â
âNo, itâs even worse. I need to lock in for my neuropharmacology assessment.â
She pauses, cup halfway to her mouth before her lips split into a wide grin. âOh my God. With Gojo?â
You groan, zipping your bag with more force than necessary. You sling it over your shoulder and try to hurry away from her, but itâs too late and she follows quickly after.
âDonât remind me.â
âYouâre choosing to hang out with Gojo over me?â Her voice peaks at the end, and you hate how happy she looks at the thought of you ditching her.
âThis isnât a choice I want to make at all so donât say it like that. And donât look so happy, freak.â
âOh, this is rich. You were bitching about him all of last semester and now youâre choosing him over me?â Utahime giggles, pulling out her phone with her free hand. âShoko is going to love this.â
You raise an eyebrow, catching the opening. âI thought you were mad at her for getting lunch without you? Youâre so fickle.â
She hums absentmindedly, already outing your situation to the group chat, no doubt. âOur friendship runs deeper than one betrayal.â
You grin as you approach the library stairs, looking back over your shoulder. âFriendship, huh?â
She whips her head up at you, eyes flickering down to her cup where the red words written across the side spells out a cute reminder to have a good day. A flush creeps up her face. âWhat? Donât say that like itâs something to point out! We are friends!â
âI didnât even say anything!â
âYouâre giving me that look again. Iâm not a blind masochist, Y/N. I can tell when you have something to say, and Iâm not taking it lying down.â
âYouâre just lucky I havenât said a word to Shoko yet.â
Utahime grumbles, crossing her arms. âIf you do, Iâll kill myself.â
You laugh, glad to get the last word. âIâll see you later, Utahime. Go say hi to Shoko for me!â
âI will see Shoko, but only to tell her that.â
âSure,â you say, and enter the building.
The library is busy, bustling with students as they lean over textbooks and clack away at their laptops. Itâs not quite midterm season yet, so the fact that the library is so full should be concerning. With so many heads bent down, there is little chance youâll find Gojo.
You swallow your pride and pull out your phone.
you: iâm here
where are you?
DO NOT ANSWER: not her eyet wa it
wait
smth came up
You frown. Heâs the one who set the time and has the audacity to be late? Typical for someone as inconsiderate as him, you decide, and choose a table near the back of the library just so he can struggle to find you when he finally arrives.
You take out your laptop and start a new document, opening the tab for the marking rubric, the assessment notification, and some articles you found doing a quick search on PubMed. You even get around to dot-pointing one of them when someone dumps their bag on the table next to you.
You jump. âFuck.â
âDid I scare you?â
The voice alone is enough to make you freeze though you quickly snap out of it to glare up at the culprit. Gojo stands beside you, panting slightly, running a hand through his messy hair like itâll fix his disheveled appearance. The buttons of his shirt are mismatched and one side of his collar is tucked inward.
âHey,â he greets with a lopsided smile.
âHow are you late when youâre the one who said to meet at twelve?â
Gojo shrugs as if it isnât a big deal and flops into the seat next to you. You had intended for him to sit across the table but you didnât have the time to slip the words into the conversation before he starts talking.
âDidnât I tell you? I had something to do. Did you read my texts with your eyes closed or something?â
âIf you think I could have deciphered that from what you said, then youâre dumber than I thought. Did you run into an electric fence or something?â
He smiles at you like your words had been an inside joke. âI told you after that part.â
âDo you ever take anything seriously? This is worth twenty percent of our grade. You canât just mess around and expect to still do well.â
âCanât I? Itâs always worked before.â
And because you donât doubt that, it only serves to piss you off even more. He catches onto your scowl, smirk widening.
âRelax, youâll pop a blood vessel. We still have weeks to get this done so who cares?â
You roll your eyes and force yourself to be satisfied with just that, turning back to to your laptop in an effort to calm down. âMe, obviously. Look, Iâm only staying on campus until two, so letâs just get this done quickly so we can both leave. Iâm sure you donât want to be here either so letâs just be adults and get this over and done with.â
You take a deep breath and prepare yourself to look back at him and point out what youâve already planned on the document but stop short when you find him already watching you.
You grimace and edge away slightly. âWhat?â
âNothing.â He shifts to pull out his laptop and then a wired mouse.
You eye the chunky device with disbelief, wondering if perhaps his bag is bigger on the inside than the outside and then at its corded pet. Itâs only when he pulls out yet another accessory, a mouse pad, that you blurt, âDo you seriously carry a whole gaming laptop setup with you every day for class?â
Gojo holds down the power button for a couple of seconds, the fans whirring to life and filling the library with insistent static.
âYeah, I love this thing. It can handle all my programs and I can play League on it too so whatâs not to like? It can run Sims 4 and all my CCâs without any lag, itâs literally my baby. Itâs only right that I give it everything it needs in return.â
You scrunch your nose. âYou play into the stereotype way too much.â
âWhat stereotype?â
âWhat else? The nerd stereotype.â
He huffs, apparently offended. âIâm not a nerd.â
âArenât you?â You eye him up and down. âYou tick off all the boxes. The glasses, the smartass attitude, the gaming laptopââ
âYou wear glasses.â He starts listing, holding out his hand to count.
âI wear contacts.â
âBut you wear your glasses in the morning. For morning tutorials and lectures and stuff,â he continues, undeterred. âYou carry yourself like youâre better than everyone elseââ
âI do notââ
âThough youâre probably too broke to buy a gaming laptop so I guess itâs better to be a nerd than whatever you are.â He finishes with a smug grin that makes you want to curl your fingers into a fist and throw that right into his pretty face.
âI donât carry myself like Iâm better than anyone,â you decide to clear up.
He makes an unconvinced sound. âYou do.â
âI donât.â You press your lips together and sigh, breaking the eye contact though not without effort. âStop trying to waste my time.â
âYou found me out. âThrough the whirring of his laptop, you can make out his slight chuckle. He leans onto the table with his elbows, voice almost a childish whine. âLetâs talk. Why do you hate me so much?â
Your fingers stutter on your keyboard. Sucking in a deep breath, you turn your head and face him on. ââI donât hate you. Obviously.
âObviously,â he repeats, the curl of his lips an obvious indicator that he doesnât believe you. âBut youâre always frowning when we talk.â
âWe donât talk,â you emphasise again and against your attempt at nonchalance, your brows pinch together. âAnd I donât hate you.â
âRight? I havenât even done anything to you.â
Your eye twitches at that. You rein it in, rein in that explosive feeling in your chest as if another word from his mouth will send you spiralling. You know it will, as inevitable as the crash-out youâll be having to Shoko later at the cafe.
âGojo,â you start calmly. âWe have four weeks to do this assessment and frankly, I still have a life to live outside this so letâs just get this over and done with, okay?â
He looks at you a little longer and you would have asked what exactly he was searching for on your face, but something tells you that opening this can of worms will only confuse you more so you only stare back.
âAlright,â he says finally. âAdd me to the document.â
You hit share and tilt your laptop towards him, watching as his long fingers dwarf your keyboard. He slides it back over and you nod, satisfied. âI already looked at some sources so you can just start off one of those.â
Gojo glances back at his gaming laptop, clicking on the document. You watch as a new anonymous user hops onto the page: Anonymous Snow Leopard. Heâs already typing away and when you click on the animal to find his cursor, heâs finishing off a second sentence notably not under one of those articles you had found. You frown as you read.
âHold on.â
He sighs, fingers pausing. âWhat now?â
You point to your screen at where heâs stopped typing. âYou canât just say things like this without a source.â
âIâll cite it later.â
âThatâs now how you research. Youâre meant to find an article first and then write your own interpretation afterwards based on it.â
He waves his hand dismissively. âPotato, potahto.â
âOkay, no. We are not doing this.â
âSee, this is where your pretentiousness kicks in.â
âWhat, because I know how to research properly?â
âBecause youâre trying to control every little thing.â
âIâm not being controlling, This counts to my grade too so I have a say.â
âAnd whereâs my say?â
âYouâre thinking too far, maybe focus on actually saying something useful first.â
âSee? Pretentious.â
âPot calling the kettle black.â
âSo you admit it?â
âMaybe, do you?â
He leans in, sneering. âIâve gotten top marks doing it my way and Iâm not going to change it now just because you have some inferiority complex over me.â
You flush, leaning back. âWell, Iâve gotten high marks doing it my way! And I donât have an inferiority complex, much less to you.â
âThen you can use your method and Iâll use mine. We donât have to collaborate any more than we need to.â
You hate to admit that he might be right. Outwardly however, you grit your teeth and summon an inner peace. âGojo. Find an article before you start talking out of your ass.â
He groans as if deeply inconvenienced and though the sound makes you tense as if he might spit out another remark, he only turns back to his laptop and clicks open a new tab with exaggeration.
âFine, fine. Geez. Youâre really annoying, you know that?â he grumbles, slouching in his seat.
Youâre about to drop another snarky response when something on his screen catches your eye, a tab peeking out in a red tab folder titled self indulgent. You lean forward slightly, catching the title when his cursor flicks by. It seems like an impossible task to read the words in the split second when the pop-up shows, if you hadnât been stunlocked on that tab yourself earlier that week.
hoping thereâs a modification of kumamonâs line, r/digimon.
âWait,â you blurt, placing your hand on his arm.
He freezes under your touch, though you pay no attention to the sensation. âWhat?â
âWas that a Digimon Reddit thread?â
Gojo doesnât say anything for a while, and you have to look over at him to check if he was paying attention. His shoulders seem visibly tense, eyes flickering to the tab and then over at you. ââŚNo?â
You donât wait for permission, sliding your own laptop to the side to take a hold of his. He makes a brief noise of protest, hands coming up as if to stop you, but they pause right before touching. The hesitation gives you the chance to click on the tab.
The screen that loads confirms your suspicions. Your eyes widen, taking in the familiar Digimon forum, open to the exact post youâve spent the last week arguing in the comments. âYouâre in the Digimon subreddit?â
âDonât do this. You already give me enough shit about carrying a gaming laptop. Donât ruin this nostalgia for me,â he mutters, looking away, and you finally realise that his tense shoulders might be because heâs bracing for an impact that isnât coming. You find yourself, somewhat absently, marvelling at the sudden quietness of him. Maybe this is what people see when they talk about Gojo like heâs the second coming of Jesus.
You laugh in disbelief.
He only stiffens more until you exclaim, âGojoverrated?â
âLook, I made that username when I was twelve and it just stuck, alright? Iâm sure your usernames at twelve were much worseââ
âSo it was you that wrote that stupid rant about Kumamonâs evolution! It was like, a thousand words!â
Gojo whips around to face you immediately. His eyes take you in, sweeping up and down your appearance as if trying to associate you with your words. âYou pronounced Kumamon right. You know about the post? You read it?â
âAre you questioning my reading comprehension skills now?â
âNo, Iââ he stutters, actually tripping over his words in front of you which only makes your smile widen. He clears his throat and tries again. âI just meantâyou read this?â
âRead it? I responded to it, smartass.â
Thereâs a long pause, and you wait for recognition to dawn. He straightens slowly, eyes opening wide. âThereâs no way. Youâre notââ
You beam. âIâm Digimonlvr3000!ââSurprise aside, you should not be saying that username with so much pride.â But then he stares at you like the ground beneath him has just fallen through. âBut shut up, thereâs no fucking way.â
âYou seriously hate the transition from Grizzmon to GrapLeomon?â you start, elbows resting on the table as you lean in. The same banter falls from your lips, but you refuse to acknowledge how it lacks venom.
âYou canât just go from a bear cub to a bear, and then to some mechanical lion-man, and then a unicorn-panther-headed half-nude dude.â He blinks at you even as he talks, eyes still wide as he struggles to comprehend saying these words to someone other than Suguru, considering his best friend is the only person who would at least pretend to listen.
âI mean, this is Digimon, not PokĂŠmon. You know, digital monsters? Theyâre allowed to be crazy.â
âYeah? Well, I want bears.â
âThen PokĂŠmon might be the franchise for you.â
Gojo flinches like youâve insulted him personally, more than any of your actually hurtful insults have ever managed to make him flinch. âDonât even joke, Y/N. Itâs not a crime to like coherent evolution lines.â
You shrug. âThe randomness makes it fun. Itâs Digimonâs whole brand.â
âAnd yet, the most iconic Digimon evolution lines come from coherent ones. You know, ones that make sense and have a consistent visual theme from Rookie to Mega. There is nothing that ties Grizzmon to GrapLeomon.â His lips quiver as he talks, eyes still wide, shock lingering. He canât help letting his gaze sweep over you again and again. He thinks then that maybe the person who said never to judge a book by its cover had actually been onto something.
You raise a finger, drawing him out of his daze. âUm, actually, there is, though. The whole theme of grappling and fist-fighting? Does that ring a bell?â
âThatâs the same argument you used in your comments.â
âThe same comment you have yet to respond to.â You pause, thinking. âJust like right now, actually.â
âYeah?â he starts, and you know youâve got him again. He presses on regardless. âWell, youâre the one who made that post about disliking Rhinokabuterimon more than Daipenmon.â
âAnd I stand by that.â
âOh my god,â he says slowly, taking you in. âYouâre worse in person.â
âYour Kumamon rant got locked by a mod,â you remind him. âSomehow that makes sense. Youâre as annoying online as you are in person.â
âIt was locked for too many off-topic replies, which is partially your fault.â
âI wasnât going to let you have the last word.â
âLast word, huh. Great segue toââ
âNo, donât bring that up, stopââ
ââto your Digimon fanfiction account that you have linked in your bio.â
You groan, long and low, covering your face with your hands. Warmth creeps up your neck, burning against your cheeks when you hear him laugh at your expense. You try to gather your dignity, peeking between your fingers to accuse him as you say, âHow would you know? Did you read them?â
âOf course I did,â he says without shame, and any thought of turning the tables back on him dissipates. He watches you suffer from embarrassment for only a second longer before resting his chin on his palm, leaning away as if to act casual. âSo. Do you play the TCG?â he asks, despite the fact that he knows heâs seen your username floating around in the Digimon TCG subreddit.
You pull your hands away with a start. âDo I play? Is the sky blue?â
Gojoâs lips quiver upward. âDuel me.â
âOkay,â you say quickly, too quickly, and you clear your throat in an effort to reset yourself. He doesnât seem to notice, already digging through his bag for something. âOh, you meant right now.â
He pauses, looking up. âYeah. Do you not have your deck?â
âI donât carry it on me, no.â For some reason, the thought that he does brings a small smile to your face.
He visibly deflates, and a thought tries to enter your mind, though youâre not quite there just yet. Instead, you laugh softly. âNext time then,â you say, enjoying the way his smile returns to his face. âWhat colour do you play, anyway?â
âPurple, obviously.â
You roll your eyes. âOf course youâre a purple player. You saw the post about how purple wins just about every big event in EX7, didnât you? Let me guess. Leviamon?â
âActually, I play DexDorugoramon. You?â
You hum as if that makes complete sense. âI play yellow. Not for any particular reason, I just like the Digimon in the decks.â
âYellow, huh? So youâre a feelscrafter.â He bites back a goofy smile, but it shows.
âDonât say that word like itâs a slur.â
âDo you even play the meta?â
You scoff. âOf course I do. But playing good isnât even fun anymore.â
Gojo laughs, and from behind him, you catch a few students looking over with narrowed eyes. He pays them no mind, leaning in. âSee? Pretentious.â
You lean forward too, reply on the ready, the only thing missing is the exact wording you want to use to shoot him down, when his phone goes off. Is this the second time now? Just how popular is this guy?
His gaze falters before he pulls back to wrestle his phone out of his pocket. Youâre left facing him, and you draw back too, clearing your throat as you turn to your laptop.
What the fuck was that?
Your fingers type gibberish into the document, then drag your finger across your trackpad to erase it only to type another string of incoherent letters and symbols. Your mind races through the conversation, noting the genuine joy in your voice, the amusement when Gojo responded just as enthusiastically. Thereâs a warmth in your stomach thatâs hard to get rid of.
What the fuck.
Youâre not eavesdropping. Thatâs simply not what youâre doing. Though it isnât your fault if you happen to hear Gojo as he talks into his phone, his voice low out of respect for the library but not so low that you canât make out the conversation.
âAlright, yeah, I got it. Iâm not, so donât even start. God, shut the fuck up, Suguru. Iâll be over, give me ten minutes. Ten minutes. Yeah, probably, but youâre pissing me off, so Iâll be there in ten. Iâm already doing you a favour, man, so quit it before I change my mind.â You catch him rolling his eyes, his freakishly long eyelashes lifting and falling. âYou owe me.â
Gojo hangs up and sighs, running a hand through his hair. âHey, sorry about that. I have to go.â
You look up at him with a start. âGo? You just got here! Weâve only been working forâŚâ You glance down at the bottom right of your laptop screen. âAn hour and a half?â
He grins, though itâs small. âTime flies when youâre having fun.â
âNeuropharmacology is hardly fun.â
âNo, but the company is,â he says, unplugging his mouse and rolling up his mouse pad. As he stuffs his enormous gaming laptop into whatever space remains in his bag, he continues, âIâll text you when Iâm free next.â
âWe hardly got anything done today,â you find yourself saying. âNo thanks to your distraction.â
âMine? You continued it. If you really cared, you would have told me to shut up.â
âAs if you ever listen.â
Itâs far too easy to fall into a rhythm with him, you think begrudgingly. Heâs grinning lazily, lifting his glasses with his knuckle and otherwise unmoving beside your table. You huff, turning back to your laptop.
This feeling, at least, is familiar and comforting. âWhatever, Gojo. Iâll do my part as long as you do yours.â
He watches you for a second longer before taking a step back. âIâll text you.â
You give him a half-hearted wave. Only when youâre positive enough time has elapsed for him to have cleared the building and maybe half the courtyard do you exhale, slumping in your chair. Your eyes flick to the library doors. No sign of white hair.
You tell yourself youâre pissed, that thatâs what is currently sitting in your chest and the reason for your sudden restlessness. I mean, really, who arrives late to a meeting they scheduled and then leaves early?
Itâs a Friday afternoon, and he has you losing your mind over reports and Digimon, of all things. You should be at a bar. Or at home, in pajamas, catching up on backlog episodes of that new trash reality TV youâve been binging, or having that bingsu Utahime mentioned earlier. What you should not find yourself doing is thinking about Gojo and how pretty his genuine smile is, especially when itâs directed at you.
You scoff at your screen, type out a line, and then delete it.
What a joke.
academic freak: jumping on !! let me know if u can work on our project now :3
you: sorry I'm out rn
i can hop on at eight tonight though if youâre still free then?
academic freak: no worries
letâs do a video call then >< (6:43pm)
You stare at his last text, have been staring at his last text ever since you left your friends, hovering your thumb over the screen, unsure. And now it was almost eight pm and you were still staring.
It's not like this is the first time youâve ever video called someone, and itâs not like he matters, but something akin to nervousness settles in your stomach. He's just your annoyingly good-looking, annoyingly smart project partner. Shokoâs childhood best friend. The guy that embarrassed you last semester. Nothing more.
Still, you keep blinking at the message, at the double exclamation marks and all his stupid emoticons.
academic freak: can i call u now?
You flinch when the typing bubble pops up but you fail to swipe out before the message is sent, and the read receipt lights up immediately.
academic freak: ?
waiting for me?
You groan aloud, running a hand down your face. Thereâs no dignified way out of this, so with a sigh, you hit call. The screen rings once, twice, and you suddenly jump up, nervesâor whatever the hell you want to call itâcausing you to sweat.
You should change, brush your hair maybe, fuck, you took out your contacts already. One time in third grade, someone said you looked different with glasses compared to without. What did that mean? Was the difference that extreme? Why couldnât you see it? Would Gojo be able to tell?
Before you can answer any of those questions, your phone flickers to life.
âHey,â Gojo says, grinning as his camera turns on. Heâs a little too close at first, but after seeing your surprised face, he leans back and settles into view. His hair is slightly tousled, glasses perched low on his nose, the logo of the university peeking just into view on his jumper.
âHi.â You clear your throat, adjusting your phone so it sits upright on your table. âI wasnât waiting for your text, by the way. You just messaged me just as I was about to message you. Thatâs all.â
He raises an eyebrow, a knowing smile on his face. Thankfully, he doesnât push. âSorry for ditching you earlier, but Iâm here now.â
You nod, opening your laptop on the table. As it hums to life, your eyes flick back over to your phone and trace what you can see inside his room. He has a lamp on, warm light washing over his face as he leans back into view, a lollipop in his hand, and thereâs an assortment of plushies on his bed behind him. You narrow your eyes.
âIs that Agumon?â
Gojo glances back, then shrugs like itâs the most natural thing in the world. âHe guards my bed.â
You stifle a laugh. âStill getting nightmares at your big age?â
âDonât tell me youâre too cool for plushies.â He rolls his eyes, though his face quickly splits into a grin when you pull out your own plushie, placing it comfortably on your lap, its head peeking into frame. âThere we go. Thatâs more like it.â
His praise does things to you that you donât dare put into words. You squeeze your plushie tight.
You busy yourself with opening the document, taking extra long to fiddle around with opening and closing random tabs. Itâs hard to focus on one thing, you see, not when Gojo is staring at you unabashedly, cheek smushed against his hand like he has nowhere else to be.
You donât look up right away, clicking through your email, Spotify, the university site, waiting for him to get bored and finally free you from his gaze, but he doesnât.
Clearing your throat, you finally drag your gaze up to his face. âWe shouldââ you start, but cut yourself off. âWhat?â
âHm?â He blinks when your eyes meet.
âWhyâre you staring at me like that?â
Gojo lets the silence drag on for a little longer until he chuckles, dropping his head to look down at his own laptop screen. âWho said I was looking at you?â
You arch a brow, glancing over your shoulder, then around your room. âIs there someone else in the room with me now?â
âAsk that question again when we have a Ouija board.â He types something, and you watch the words pop up on your screen. âI was just thinking how different you are when youâre not on campus. Youâre quieter, for one. Less teeth-baring.â
âIf you want me to insult you, you only have to ask.â
He grins, eyes lazy with amusement. âSee? Even that lacks any bite.â
âSays you. Iâm surprised you havenât made a comment on my glasses or something,â you say, unwilling to be outdone.
âAnd what, your messy desk?â
You shove your textbooks out of frame. âI knew it.â
He shrugs offhandedly, returning his attention to his laptop. You follow his lead, blinking in surprise when he doesnât continue with another snarky comment. Itâs silent again for a while.
âIt suits you. You look nice with your hair tied back.â
Your hands fly to the back of your head and close around your claw clip, mouth hanging open as you stare at him. Gojo keeps typing like he didnât just casually compliment you, as if he hadnât just thrown a curveball into your carefully built defences. You swallow hard, blinking as heat creeps into your cheeks.
âI⌠you look nice too?â
You wince as soon as the words leave your mouth, though you canât completely regret them, because theyâre what finally cause him to look up at you, his hands frozen over his keyboard. Then heâs laughing, and you take back that last thought just as quickly.
âAlright, alright, letâs just work on our project,â you mumble, ducking your head. Heâs still laughing, and you grit your teeth with effort. âIf you keep laughing, Iâm going to hang up on you.â
Gojoâs laughter lingers, soft and amused, as he savours the heat on your face for a second longer before nodding. âIâll stop, I swear.â His fingers return to the keyboard, but you catch the flicker of something like warmthâor maybe surpriseâin his eyes before he lowers his head too.
You take a breath and refocus on your document, with only the sounds of shuffling and keys clacking disturbing the space between the two of you. Every now and then, he asks a question about a point youâve made, or corrects something youâve written. His criticisms lack any heat, and you find yourself accepting his words without the usual spike in blood pressure.
Every now and then, his attention slips and he starts scrolling on Twitter in another tab, his snickering making you lift your head. Gojo immediately catches the movement and flips his laptop around to show you, letting you share a laugh with him.
He tells you about the Discord server he runs for hosting Digimon TCG games. You listen, asking for an invite when his voice quietens near the end, and the smile he beams at you makes your stomach flip.
You tell him about your hobbies, how youâve had to let go of piano because of your academic pursuits. He tells you he wants to hear a piece, your favourite piece to play, and you think for a moment that you might want to pick it up again.
At one point, light floods across the screen and you watch as he grumbles, lifting an arm to block the sudden brightness. A voice sounds through your phone speaker distantly, and you recognise it as Geto. You hadnât realised they were roommates.
âYou free tonight, Satoru? Haibaraâs having a get-together in a few hours. He asked me if you wanted to come along since you ditched halfway through theâoh.â Getoâs voice trails off, as if heâs only just noticed Gojoâs pinched expression. âYouâre on the phone to someone. Who? Let me see.â
âItâs none of your business!â He throws you a frantic glance and you shrug. âAnd knock first!â
âYou never knock.â You hear the shuffle of someone entering the room. âAnd you have three friends, and Iâm one of them. Is it Nanami? Shoko?â
You hear Gojoâs protests as something hits the phone and it swirls, landing face-up toward his ceiling. You notice he has light-up neon stars stuck haphazardly across it. Your heart squeezes. Cute.
Then a hand covers the screen and itâs a blur of black and red.
âBack off, Suguru, Iâm not going to Haibaraâs partyââ
âIs that a girl?â
âHey!â
Thereâs a whirl, and then you blink, biting your cheeks at the face suddenly staring back at you. Hesitantly, you raise a hand. âHey, Geto.â
Geto stares at you for a second before laughing, a low melody that has you shifting nervously in your seat. âY/N? I didnât know you and Satoru were so close. I always thought you two had this rivals thing going onââ
He doesnât finish his sentence because Gojo snatches his phone back, and you watch a tilted view of the interaction.
âTell Haibara I wonât be showing up.â
âSomething more important to do, Satoru?â
The world shifts again as Gojo flops back onto his bed, placing you upright on his table once more. He glances sideways at his roommate, directing his words at him even as his hands work to steady his phone. âItâs not what you think. Weâre working on our group project. It canât just evolve past Rookie stage on its own.â
You watch as he shoots a quick glance at you, eyes searching as if to ask, Did you catch that?
You canât help but grin a little, biting back a laugh.
âSure, thatâs all. Iâll go tell Haibara youâll come to the next one.â The light dims slightly and you assume Geto is closing the door. âYou owe me.â
When the light finally fades, Gojo turns back to you with an apologetic smile. Youâre thrilled to see him glance at you, then away, his hands coming up to run through his hair, an uncharacteristic shyness that makes your heart squeeze again.
âSorry about that.â
âNo, itâs okay. You guys seem close.â You absentmindedly rub at your chest, wondering if this is a sign of cardiovascular disease. âYou two dorm together?â
âWe moved out together at the beginning of second year. He lived, like, three hours from campus and needed a roommate. He asked me and I said yes.â
You rest your cheek on your palm, watching him through the small screen of your phone. âI never knew you two had so much history. I guess that makes sense, considering I never see you two apart.â
âHey, itâs not that bad.â
âIsnât it? Gojo and Geto, Geto and Gojo. Thereâs even a name for you two. Goge, though I prefer Gego.â
He frowns, brows pulled together. âThereâs a difference?â
âYeah,â you say, and leave it at that, unwilling to explain the difference. Reading over his last few words, you highlight them with your cursor. âGojo, this doesnât make sense. The rebuttal team will definitely have something to say about this.â
Gojo huffs, and you watch as he backspaces the sentence. âYou know, I almost miss the days when you were comfortably mediocre. Now itâs like Iâm back to being ten years old and getting taught long division by my dad.â
You snort, reaching for something to snap back with. Instead, you feel that sticky ball of unease in your stomach. Clearing your throat, you settle for, âWhat a universal experience.â
He looks up at that. âWhat, not going to tell me to kill myself for comparing you to my dad?â
âWas that an insult? Youâre losing your touch.â
âSays you. You donât even seem mad.â He squints at you, and you wish your Wi-Fi would give out so he could count the pixels on his screen instead of the thoughts threatening to burst free. âYou okay?â
You pause, bracing for the usual deflection to leap off your tongue. But thereâs something about the way heâs looking at you, something about the warmth wrapping around your shoulders, something about the brief glimpse into his private world that has you fidgeting to say something else.
You let out a thin laugh, eyes fixed on the words on your laptop screen. âGuess I didnât really care for grades back then.â
He snorts. âSeriously? And you still beat me on that quiz that one time? You make fun of me for being a prodigy, but I fear the call is coming from inside the house.â
You donât move. âIt was just luck.â
âAnd all your nineties since then? That all luck too?â
You shrug, but your mind screams the answer.
Gojo frowns, as if sensing that this goes deeper. âWhat is this really about, Y/N?â
For once, youâre thankful for his directness. When he says it like that, you find that you canât as easily hide behind an excuse. A part of you aches to be seen, to tell someone else something that might otherwise follow you to the grave. âItâs nothing serious. I guess Iâm just a little worried that Iâm too late to be good at this for real.â
His head tilts on-screen. âHuh?â
Heat creeps up your neck. âYou know, neuroscience. I never cared about my classes until last semester because I never cared for science. But then I realised how much I liked neuroanatomy and I started trying, and it paid off. But weâre in our last year. I feel like Iâve wasted too much time.â
When he doesnât immediately say anything, you barrel on. âYouâve always beenâŚâ You gesture vaguely at him, still not meeting his eyes. âGood. Effortless. And Iâm just now cramming to keep up. Like, whatâs the point, you know? Maybe Iâll never catch up. Even if I do, itâs too late for it to matter. Maybe thatâs why I was always annoyed at you. I wish I started caring like you did way back in first year or whenever it was that you decided you knew what to do.â
You try to laugh it off, but it comes out small and brittle.
Gojo doesnât answer right away. His usual smirk is gone, replaced with something more thoughtful. Finally, he leans forward, chin resting on his palm.
âYou donât give yourself enough credit. You really think youâre behind me?â
âWell, arenât I?â
He snorts softly, but thereâs no bite to it. âYouâre the one who wrote the outline to this report. Youâre the one reading through and correcting everything. Half of this project looks as good as it does because of you.â
Your stomach flips. âYouâre exaggeratingââ
âIâm not.â His tone sharpens just enough to make you stop fidgeting and look up at him. His mouth is curved as if to soften the words, but his gaze is sincere, coaxing you to take in every one. âLook. Who cares when you started? Youâre here now. And youâre good at it, like ridiculously good. Not because you lucked into it, but because you put in the effort. You work hard because you want this, and it shows. Thatâs more than most people ever figure out, even if theyâve been trying since day one.â
âYou donât know that for sure.â
âDonât I?â
âItâs easy for you to say. Youâve got it all figured out.â
His eyebrows shoot up. âYouâre serious about catching up to me?â
The heat creeps back up your neck, hot flushes spreading across your back. âForget it. Just forget everything.â
âNo, wait, I didnât mean it like that.â He runs a hand through his hair, forcing the surprise back. âI thought you knew the feeling was mutual, that Iâm making sure to catch up to you. If anything, youâve been making me work harder than I ever have. If this is you âtoo late,â then Iâd say youâre exactly where youâre supposed to be.â
Your stomach knots at that, a mix of disbelief and something warmer curling under your ribs. You force your gaze back to the words on your screen, blinking against the sting building at the corners of your eyes.
ââŚYouâre ridiculous,â you murmur, more to your laptop than to him.
Across the screen, his grin slips back into place, lazy and self-assured, but not mocking. âRidiculously right, you mean, since you know I always am.â
You shake your head, biting back the urge to argueâand to smile. This time, the silence stretches comfortably, neither of you rushing to fill it. Your cursor blinks steadily on the half-finished paragraph, but your focus is caught on the strange buoyancy in your chest, the faint echo of his words playing on repeat.
When Gojo finally speaks, itâs in his usual drawl. âSo, am I supposed to fix the discussion section, or are you going to keep having an existential crisis about being secretly smart?â
You let out a shaky laugh, the tension finally breaking. âShut up and start writing, Gojo.â
âYes, maâam,â he says, already clicking away, but the small smile tugging at his mouth lingers longer than his usual jokes.
You pretend not to notice how your chest feels lighter than it did a minute ago.
The weekend has slipped through your fingers quickly, leaving much to be desired, and before you know it, youâre waking before the ass crack of dawn to shuffle to the university cafĂŠ. The streets are empty this early out, with only the hush of the wind and the distant hiss of a bus pulling away filling the campus.
Not for the first time, you regret picking up the opening shifts, and you havenât even clocked in yet.
When you look up to behold the cafĂŠ in all its glory, you freeze. Thereâs someone standing just outside, leaning against the brick wall and absentmindedly kicking a pebble along the footpath. At first, the figure is just a silhouette.
But then you walk close, and the picture clarifies.
Spiderman kicks another loose stone, both hands shoved into the pocket of his hoodie that hides the bright blue and white design of his tight-fitted suit. Heâs leaning against the wall of the cafe and you hope youâre not misunderstanding that heâs waiting for it to open.
âItâs you!â you exclaim, walking faster. âYou jerk, you ditched me!â
Spiderman pushes off the wall in a heartbeat, body snapping upright with practised reflexes even before he lifts his head. He looks at you in silence and you take the chance to close the gap.
Before he can make the smart move and leave, youâre already grabbing his hand.
âYou left me to talk to the police for hours after that day! Do you know how many questions I answered with âI donât knowâ?â
âOh, great,â he mumbles, voice low and muffled by his mask. âJust what I needed. What are you doing here?â
âThatâs my question. I didnât think our cafe was famous enough to be visited by a superhero. Are you checking out the student discount or something? Are you a student here tooââ
He cuts you off. âGuessing my identity kind of defeats the purpose of the whole masked hero thing.â
You squint at him. âCan you even breathe in that?â
âIâm still standing here, arenât I?â
You raise your hands in surrender. âSo, what, youâre here to sightsee?â
âDo you think I have the luxury for that?â When you only raise your eyebrows pointedly and shrug, he continues. âI was supposed to meet someone here.â
Thereâs only one other person who works morning shifts.
âShoko?â
Spiderman seems to pause. âThe answer isnât no.â
âShokoâs doing closing shifts now so Iâll be taking over the morning shifts. Also, you know Shoko? And she didnât tell me?â
âSecret identities will do that to you,â he groans. âI canât believe you tortured that information out of me.â
âIf anything, you confirmed it out of your own volition.â
He shrugs, taking a step forward as if to leave. You look over at the cafe door beside him.
âYouâre here for a drink, right? Give me a couple minutes to open and Iâll get started on your order for you.â
He shifts, almost imperceptibly shrugging. âForget it. You really shouldnât be involving yourself with me.â
Before he can take another step, you reach out and grab his wrist. The movement is firm enough to make him pause, though if you thought he couldnât pull away, youâd be sorely mistaken. âDonât be shy. Come on, get in here. Iâm not letting you leave that easily again.â
He lets out a small, embarrassed noise, half sigh and half grunt, as if caught somewhere between annoyance and resignation. You tug him gently towards the door again, though the look in your eyes is nothing if not fierce.
Finally, the steadiness of his stance gives way into a reluctant step and youâre able to pull him inside. The warmth of the cafe hits you immediately, a stark contrast to the brittle cold outside. Your breath stops leaving your lips as mist, the windows already dewy from the lack of ventilation inside, and the air smells like yesterdayâs coffee grounds.
Spiderman hovers awkwardly by the door where youâve abandoned him, rocking on his feet. You pretend not to notice how heâs poised to bolt the moment you turn your back and for that reason, you never do.
âYou can sit, you know,â you say lightly, switching on the espresso machine. âYouâre allowed to touch the furniture.â
âIâm good here,â he mutters.
âWhere did all your spark go, Spiderman?â
He shifts at that, his weight rocking between his feet. âYou make me sound like a rescue dog.â
âYouâre acting like one,â you note with amusement. âYouâre all twitchy and skittish. Should I put out a bowl of water? Or, better yet, you can tell me your order and Iâll get started on that for you.â
He pauses. âIced matcha chai with vanilla cold foam and brown sugar syrup. And a caramel rim. Thatâs the best part.â
Your mouth hangs open, ink bleeding into the side of the cup as you try to process his words. âAre you kidding? Thatâs literally just pure sugar. Are you insane?â
âSomeone has to protect the city, sweetheart.â As if emboldened by your surprise, Spiderman walks up to the counter and leans against it, watching you reluctantly write the shorthand for his order on the cup. âAnd whoever is doing it needs something to keep the sleep away.â
You shoot him a look as you cap the pen and get started. âWhen was the last time you slept?â
âTwo nights ago. For, like, four hours.â
âYou know, you should be sleeping seven to eight hours every night otherwise your brain isnât able to clear proteins. When those accumulate they turn into the amyloid plaques and tau tangles they talk about in neurodegenerative disease.â
âOh my God,â he groans, waving your clinical concern away. âDoes this cafe only hire worrywarts? Shoko never shuts up about that.â
You look up sharply. âSo you do know her.â
His hands come up in a placating gesture. âI thought you already came to that conclusion.â
âNo, because you dodged it. How the fuck do you know Shoko? And why the hell has she never told me?â You let out a thoughtful hum as you create his disgusting drink. âMaybe she was embarrassed to know you.â
His hands come down slightly as if baffled. âI saved your life and the only thing leaving your mouth is criticism. The public loves the suit, Iâve gotten no complaints until now.â
You narrow your eyes as you reach for the syrup bottle. âSo you are dodging.â
âIâm protecting the innocent. I hope you know that you also need to keep a tight lip about me.â
âSpare me, Spiderman. Youâre really not all that.â
âYouâll be surprised.â He makes a show of stretching and flexing his muscles in the tight suit. âIâm irresistible.â
You bark a short laugh despite yourself, setting the cup down harder than necessary. âOne of these days youâre going to look at yourself in the mirror and reconsider why exactly you chose tight spandex as the go to material for your suit. You know what people are doing on the streets these days? Catching print.â
âWhatâs that?â
You swirl whipped cream on the top of his drink and drizzle it in caramel before forcing a dome lid on top. Plucking a straw from the dispenser, you slide that and the drink over to him. He catches it easily enough, eyes not yet looking away from you.
âHereâs your drink. Next time, just get more hours of sleep instead of torturing your local barista.â
He lifts his mask just enough to sip, bunching it up under his nose, and you catch the barest flash of his grin before itâs covered again. His shoulders relax, like heâs settling in despite himself.
âStill good,â he murmurs, almost to himself. Then, louder: âAt least you didnât mess it up.â
âThatâs the thanks I get?â You rest your elbows on the counter and lean in, your eyes narrowing at him.
âThis is your job, isnât it? Why should I thank you?â
âI thought since you did unpaid labour for the city, youâd know just how good a thanks feels.â
He chuckles, reaching into his pockets to pay. His fingers close around his phone before freezing, the faint weight of realisation settling in. He doesnât carry cash, and he canât pay contactless like he usually does with Shoko, because then youâd recognise his phone case.
You notice his hesitation. âUnpaid labour indeed.â
âCaught me,â Spider-Man admits easily, leaning against the counter. âSo, what are the chances you put this on my tab?â
You laugh under your breath. âJust make sure to bring cash next time.â
Thereâs a beat of quiet before he tips his head, considering. âNext time, huh?â
You shrug, busying yourself with a rag on the counter. âDidnât you say you needed that sugar bomb to stay awake?â
âTouchĂŠ,â he says, lifting the cup to take another long sip.
The room falls into a quieter rhythm, the hum of the machines filling the silence. You watch as he lingers by the counter, fingers drumming against the cup as he enjoys his drink. Itâs surreal seeing him so close, joking like heâs just any other person and not some masked figure who swings through the city on webs.
You speak up again when the silence drags on a little longer and you begin to worry that the moment might get interrupted by another customer. âYou gonna stand there all day or actually do some superheroing?â
He makes a thoughtful noise. âDepends. Doesnât seem like there are any damsels in distress right now.â
âOh, really? Well, I still need some floors mopped and napkins restocked, soâhey!â
Before you can blink, heâs already tugging his hood back up and slipping towards the door, the same restless energy in his shoulders that he came in with. âAnd thatâs my cue to leave.â
âDonât forget,â you call after him. âCash next time!â
He lifts a hand without turning, a half-wave, half-promise, before opening the door. He flicks his wrist towards the nearest streetlight and, with a tug, shoots forward with a burst of speed that leaves you blinking, impressed.
âShow-off,â you mumble fondly, a small smile tugging at your lips as the door swings closed behind him. His presence is quickly forced to the back of your mind as another customer walks in, and you fall back into the familiar rhythm of your work.
The opening shift quickly becomes the bane of your existence. The grumpy customers clicking in for their own early mornings, the rush of orders that arrives before youâve even fully woken, the relentless beep of the espresso machineâit all feels like a punishment for having the audacity to leave your warm bed before the sun has even risen. And yet, despite the predictable chaos and your own bleary-eyed resentment, you canât stop the small smile that tugs at your lips as you hop off the bus.
The front of the cafe is quiet when you step up and shove the keys in, though you know that calm wonât last long. A sudden movement behind you makes your stomach tighten, and a voice murmurs close to your ear.
âI thought the cafe opens at six.â
You turn to see Spiderman hanging upside down, both hands holding onto his web, feet pressed together to keep balance.
âIt does,â you say in lieu of greeting.
âReally? So why did you only get here at 6:13am?â
You roll your eyes and turn back around to let you both in. The masked vigilante lets go of his web and smoothly drops down, sauntering in behind and catching the door when you let go.
âI could report you for tardiness, you know. And being mean to your customers.â
âI didnât know you were a snitch,â you tease back.
âWhat can I say? I care about the universityâs upkeep,â he says as he leans against the counter to watch you start up the shop.
Ignoring his gaze on your back, you begin to multitask, one hand grabbing a cup to get started on his drink while the other flicks on switches. The whir of grinders hum to life, filling the space between you.
âAnother deathly sweet drink for you Iâm assuming?â
âSomeone has to keep this city up and running.â
Thereâs a brief silence as the espresso machine whirs and you do your job. You recall the first few times this unexpected customer had dropped by, the tension between the two of you neither friends nor strangers, and how his face had seemingly dropped when you slid his drink across the counter the moment he walked in.
âOh,â Spiderman had started, the whites of his mask flicking from you to the cup. âYou already made this for me?â
âYeah. Unless youâre planning to grab something new today.â
His fingers had curled around the cup, mumbling something that sounded like, âNo, thatâs fine. This is fine.â
He had hesitated by the counter until you urged him to pay. He did, albeit slowly, and when he even stalled after the money had passed into your hands, you giggled.
âIâm not going to kick you out just because you have your drink now. You can stay. I like talking to you when I open.â
His face had immediately brightened, or at least you assume so from the way his head shot up and the grip on his cup tightened almost imperceptibly.
Since then, Spiderman has taken it upon himself to stay throughout the duration of making his drink, and thirty minutes after that too.
âYou know,â he muses now, conversational and casual. âI feel like you know more about me than I know about you. You know how I like my drinks, my work, my name. Which is terrible because Iâm the one with the secret hidden identity.â
You roll your eyes, lifting the steamer to pour into a cup with his superhero name on it, something he had insisted you do when you once poured his drink into an empty, unmarked cup, saying the true cafe experience included a named cup. So, in order to give him said full experience, you spell his name wrong every time. Today, itâs âSpy x Dermanâ.
âYou also know where I work,â you say, topping his disgusting drink with cream and another drizzle of sweet sticky syrup. âAnd my name. But honestly, itâs your fault for being so naive and open.â
âIâm trying to say I want to know more about you.â
âAnd Iâm trying to tastefully deflect the conversation elsewhere.â
He chuckles. âWhat harm is there if you tell me something? It doesnât have to be anything crazy. This isnât a first date.â
âHey, thatâs my line.â You stick a paper straw into the lid and slide his drink over the counter. He catches it with ease, not breaking eye contact to take a sip.
âFine, Iâll bite. What do you want to know?
He shrugs, looking around the place. âSurprise me. I wouldnât even know where to start.
âWell, first of all, Iâm a normal person. Which means my coffee order isnât diabetes in a cup.
âTell me your order, then.â
Youâre surprised to see him so interested in something so mundane and useless. âI guess I usually get a vanilla soy latte. Oh, but if they have matcha or something, Iâd get that instead.â
He hums. âPersonally, I usually get an iced matcha chai with vanilla cold foam and brown sugar syrup with a caramel rim.â
You laugh, wiping up the counter after yourself as youâve been trained to do. âI never asked, and yes, Spiderman, I know. Trust me, it hurts my pure barista hands to make your drink every time.â
He chuckles softly with you, eyeing you, toying with the paper straw in his mouth. You know that in about ten minutes, if he stays that long, heâll start complaining about how the paper has already begun to deteriorate in his mouth, and you will be his unwilling recipient for the venting. When he opens his mouth to speak next, you brace yourself for an onslaught of surprisingly childish whining.âSo, any plans this week?â he asks, leaning over the counter. You wonder if it would be a workplace hazard to invite him to the other side.
You catch onto his words after a few blinks. âNot really? I guess I have an assessment due next week so Iâll be grinding for that.â You pause, assuming the silence that follows after is because heâs waiting for more. âYou?â
âThe usual. Saving cats from trees, escorting senior citizens across pedestrian crossing, the typical.â
âDoes that actually happen? Cats getting stuck in trees?â
He shrugs. âNot really. If anything, itâs usually street poles they find themselves in. Anyway, so youâre otherwise free this week? Say, super random day that means absolutely nothingâTuesday?â
You pause, taking in his faux innocence. He even makes a show of looking at his nails as if he could see them through the fabric of his white gloves. âI mean, I guess I am, for the most part. Why?â
He straightens a little, looking over at the dessert display. âNo reason.â
You narrow your eyes at him, a little wary. âAre you sure? I feel like you wouldnât ask that question unless there was something going on.â
âNo, Iâm just wondering what the average citizenâs schedule looks like.â
âOh, really?â You clean off the steamer with an unimpressed look. âVerdict?â
âBoring!â He stretches out the word, loud in the acoustics of the near empty cafe. âDo you even know how to have fun?â
You scoff, wiping your hands on a nearby towel before leaning against the counter to talk to him. Somewhere along the way, the distance between the two of you has shrunk and you find yourself gravitating towards him. He stays on the other side, lifting up his mask as he usually does to take a sip.
âItâs not my fault the exam period is coming up,â you say, trying to subtly memorise the bottom of his face without seeming weird. âAnd I definitely do know how to have fun.
âRight, sure you do. What do you do for fun, then?â
You bite the inside of your cheeks. âYou first.â
âNeed time to think?â
âThis is so unfair, you can literally fly! Obviously what I do for fun isnât going to be as fun as leaping through the air and shooting webs from your wrists!â
âNot with that attitude you wonât. But come on, humour me a little. Tell me what you usually do in your free time.â
âAre we on a bad first date right now? Whatâs happening?â
âDeflect all you want but Iâm immune to it by now. Come on, just tell me,â he coaxes you with a grin, straw between his teeth. âDo you, again super random and means nothing at all, go to anime related events?â
You narrow your eyes at him slightly. âI guess I do.â
âOkay.â He looks around as if inspecting the interior design. âHave you heard about that thing thatâs happening at the main city library?â
You, in fact, have. âSure. I saw the post on their Insta.â
âWas that something you wanted to check out?â
âWith⌠you?â
Spiderman laughs like youâve said something particularly funny. âYouâre joking right? Obviously not with me. Spiderman doesnât do outings, sweets.â
âForgive me for assuming that when you literally asked me when I would be free mere minutes ago.â
âI told you, Iâm just curious about what normal people get up to.â
You eye him, noting how relaxed he now seems and how thereâs a silence that drags out after his last words. âWere there any more questions you wanted to ask, or just the one about when Iâm free and if I wanted to check out the shounen showcase at the library?â
âNo, that was it.â
You nod, slowly. âRight.â
The quiet stretches, just the hiss of the espresso machine and the soft drumming of his fingers against the counter as he muses over your previous words. You roll your eyes and straighten, turning to fiddle around and move forward with the transition of shooing him away.
Just as youâre about to tell him to go do his job or something, the doorbell chimes and you look up instinctively like an activated sleeper agent, plastering a smile on your face to greet the customer. It hasnât been long since you started morning shifts but it was rare for anyone to show up within the ten minutes you open.
You spare Spiderman a glance as if to tell him to leave, but heâs not looking at you.
A man stumbles in, unsteady on his feet, eyes darting around like thereâs someone watching him from the corners. At first, you assume heâs simply clumsy or perhaps nursing a killer hangover so you steel yourself for a tricky conversation.
âGood morning, what can I get started for you today?â you start, looking him up and down subtly to see if heâs a member of the university staff or a stranger who has somehow wandered onto campus.
The man slams his hand down on the counter and you jump, heart skipping. Up close, you can make out the sweat beading on his pale forehead and the way his lips move like heâs saying something, though no sound leaves his dry lips.
You try again. âSir?â
âCoffee,â he rasps.
You force another polite smile because of course you want a coffee from a cafe, donât waste my time, and reach for a cup. âOf course. Would that be a cappuccino or latte or something else?â
Instead of answering you, his head jerks to the side as if hearing a conversation you canât. In doing so, his eyes meet Spidermanâs and they widen almost comically, his body jerking away.
Spiderman stiffens, shoulders tensing as he shoots the customer an incredulous look. âWoah, chill. Itâs just me.â
The man staggers back another step, chest heaving, breath rattling like something is crawling up his throat.
You frown. âSir, youâre looking a little pale. Maybe you should sit down andââ
His head snaps toward you so sharply you swear you hear the crack of his vertebrae. His eyes, wild and bloodshot, fix onto you with a sudden intensity that makes you pause. His lips peel back from his teeth into a nasty snarl, and you realise with a cold shiver that he is talking to himself. You quickly correct yourself. He wasnât talking to himself, but to something else.
The manâs head jerks to the side again, harder this time. âWonât stop⌠wonât stop talkingâŚâ
You swallow. âI mean, itâs kind of my job to ask you.â
His answer comes out distorted, two voices overlapping. âWe said leave him alone!â
His hand suddenly shoots out, slamming into the counter so hard the marble cracks. A slick, black sheen ripples up his arm, coating his fingers like tar before forming claws.
His hand suddenly shoots out, slamming into the counter so hard the marble cracks. A slick, black sheen ripples up his arm, coating his fingers like tar before forming claws.
You stumble back, dropping the cup in your hands and making a sharp noise that has the man turning to you, eyes pitch-black.
âUm, Spiderman?â you whisper, hands clutching the side of the counter as you back away from the man. âWant to do your job orâŚ?â
Before you can even process whatâs happening, the man lunges across the counter at you, knocking over your carefully stacked paper cups. You make an embarrassing sound, half-surprise, half-protest as you instinctively attempt to back away though itâs not enough considering the feral determination the man has in reaching you.
In a blur, Spiderman leaps and lands on his hands and feet on the ceiling, flinging his arm toward you to latch a web around your torso. He yanks you to him, the world tilting for a fraction of a second as the web wraps around your arms and pins them to your side. The momentum spins you round and round until you finally settle, slowly rotating.
Blood rushes to your head and a nearby crash makes you jolt, eyes widening to pinpoint the danger.
Turns out, Spiderman has wrapped you in a cocoon of web and left to dangle like a pinata from the ceiling.
âHey!â you protest, struggling against the web. The movement only causes you to spin around and you hastily jerk your body to the side to watch the scene. âLet me down!â
Spiderman drops to the floor, one hand splayed across the ground, the other tense and alert in the air. He momentarily breaks his focus to give you a double take. âWhat theâIâm keeping you safe. Stop wiggling!â
You can hear it then, the sound the manâs making. Not quite a growl, at least not a human one, but a low, guttural rasp that vibrates through his chest. Panic and fear only grow within you, and you struggle with a little more determination to get down and run for the hills, when the man emerges from behind the counter.
He lunges again, this time faster, propelled by a strength that is definitely not human. Black tendrils burst from his back, flinging chairs aside like toys. Spiderman dodges easily, flipping over a table and ducking behind it, firing a web that snaps against the manâs shoulder.
It doesnât hold.
The black substance simply absorbs it, melting it away like cotton candy in a river.
âOkay,â Spiderman mutters, kicking the table into the man too and watching as he easily smacks it away. âThatâs new.â
The creature lets out a distorted laugh. âSpiderman,â it sneers.
âThatâs me. Have we met before?â
Spiderman doesnât wait for an answer, slinging a web at the manâs wrist and yanking him hard into the counter. The espresso machine crumbles under the intense weight and puffs out a powerful blast of steam as it malfunctions. The figure avoids the steam with a sharp hiss, black tendrils catching from the bulk of the fall and throwing himself back up, grabbing onto the mini fridge display and hurling it back at the superhero.
You gasp when you rotate to face the chaos. âYouâre wrecking my cafe!â
âSeriously? Thatâs what youâre focusing on right now?â Spiderman shoots back, ducking. âFile an insurance claim or something!â
He swings a chair into the side of the figure and you watch mournfully.
âMy chairsâŚâ
âAgain, there might be bigger things to worry about!â
A giant fist surges forward from the black gunk oozing down his chest and knocks Spiderman back.
The superhero lets out a punched-out gasp, slamming into the wall of the cafe and knocking down some purely-for-interior-design-aesthetic fake coffee bean bags. Spiderman tries to sling himself onto the arm and swing around, but the substance only consumes the webbing, swallowing it before it can take hold.
âSpiderman!âÂ
You twist uselessly in your cocoon, the web binding your arms tight to your sides. Your brain scrambles for something, anything that could possibly help. Your eyes lock onto the man as its gooey limbs swell and stretch, pulsing with inhuman strength. Another fist forms, held back in the air as if winding up, clearly aimed at the gasping Spiderman on the cafe floor.
âIs this another tactic of yours? I think you fight better on both feet!â
Spiderman spits blood through the cuts of his mask.
âYeah,â he wheezes, âThatâs the plan.â
The fist hands there for one awful second, huge and glistening and very much about to redecorate the floor with Spidermanâs internal organs.
Your gaze snaps wildly around the cafe, desperate for anything useful beyond the humiliating fact that you are currently trussed up. You make a mental note of everything, the counter, syrup bottles, cups, broken glass, ruined pastries, the espresso machine wheezing its last breath in the corner, split open and spitting angry jets of steam every few seconds.
âSpiderman!â you blurt.
Spiderman, still flat on his back and one near-death experience away from becoming part of the floor plan, tilts his head weakly. âCan this wait? Iâm in the middle of something.â
âThe espresso machine!â
âWhat about it? Do you want a latte before I die?â
âThe steam, you idiot!â
The creature finally slams its fist down, cracking the granite flooring and thankfully not squishing a spider. The superhero rolls onto his side with a pained hiss, flicking his wrist to wrap web around the nuzzle of the steamer.
âOkay,â he starts. âAnd how do I use this exactly?â
The man quickly regains its bearings and starts for Spiderman again as the superhero uselessly fiddles with the steam wand. You jerk in your cocoon.
âThe knob! Turn the silver knob on the side!â
Spiderman slaps the wrong thing and a burst of frothy milk sprays across the counter and onto the floor. âIs that it?â
âThe other one!â
He twists the correct knob just as the creature lunges. The machine screams as it blasts a vicious plume of steam straight forward. You watch as he yanks the steamer around at the last second, aiming it right into the thingâs chest and face.
The black mass recoils with a horrible, scraping cry that makes you wince, and begins to peel back from the manâs skin in a movement not unfamiliar to you. The tendrils make one last feral swish, slamming into shelves and sending coffee beans, ceramic mugs, and one very expensive grinder crashing to the ground.
Spiderman cranks the wand harder, and the machine gives one final screech before coughing out another blast of steam. The goo convulses, writhing up the manâs neck and shoulders almost as if hesitating. The man underneath drops to his knees gasping, his face finally visible beneath the slick black sheen.
Spiderman doesnât hesitate and fires a web at the industrial kettle behind the counter, yanking it straight off the shelf and hurls it at the goo.
The kettle smashes into only the creature and bursts with boiling water, prompting the symbiote to let out another inhuman sound before tearing free and sliding away.
For a few seconds, all you hear is your own pulse in your ears.
Spiderman staggers to his feet, a faux-casualness to his posture that is betrayed entirely by the way his eyes never leave the man.
âOkay,â he pants. âCrisis averted.â
You glare down at him from your cocoon, still swaying gently. âDid you have to take out half the cafĂŠ to do so?â
âIt was a necessary evil.â When the man doesnât move, Spiderman finally relaxes and places his hands on his hips, letting out a slow exhale. âJesus, that really sucked. The worst part is, even after all of that, the real enemy still managed to escape. But no casualties, no broken bones this time, and I saved a citizen. Iâd call that a job well done.â
He grins up at you.
You pull your lips into a smile. âGreat. Iâm so happy for you. Can you please get me down now?â
Spiderman tilts his head thoughtfully. âTrue. This isnât your best angle.â
âSpiderman.â
âAlright, alright.â
He fires a quick web and you drop. Before you can scream, he catches you in his arms and starts cutting through the web with a small knife.
âYou okay?â he asks softly, his mouth ghosting the shell of your ear.
You nod, your heartbeat still racing from it all.
When he pulls away, the webs falling off you like they had never clung to you at all, the two of you survey the cafĂŠ. Distantly, you hear the cry of multiple sirens.
âWhat is that thing, seriously?â you whisper. If you had a penny for every time you had come face to face with an ooey, gooey monster, youâd have two penniesâwhich wasnât a lot, but it was strange that this had happened twice. You turn to Spiderman for answers, but he looks just as blank.
âI think itâs something like a symbiote. Takes over a human host and all that, like a parasite.â Catching your frightened look, Spiderman straightens. âHey, donât look so glum. You handled that better than most.â
âIâd rather never be in the position to find that out in the first place.â
He reaches over and ruffles your hair playfully, ignoring both the involuntary wince that escapes him as he raises his arm and your feeble protests. âYou did great. The steam idea saved us.â
âThe steam⌠the espresso machine!â You hastily pull away to look around the cafĂŠ again, this time properly taking in the damage. âYou broke everything!â
âI saved your life?â he offers, edging away subtly.
âMy manager is going to have my head!â As if on cue, you feel a vibration against your thigh. Reaching down into your pocket for your phone, you read through the notifications with a growing sense of dread.
manager: ?? whatâs going on
why am i seeing a news reporter outside my cafe
why am i seeing it on the news right now
why is the door off its hinges
is that a hole in my window?
y/n pick up
You wince. âSpiderman, mind explaining to my manager what happenedâSpiderman?â
When you turn around, youâre met with nothing, just the sight of tables and chairs on their side and the glass of the window shattered. The sirens get closer and something like deja vu creeps in.
âYou fucking jerk!â
you: hey!! so ik ure oh so busy
but i think we should meet up to rehearse our speech before we present
r u free 12pm today?
toru: woahhh u texted first ?!
you: and probably meet at the library
oh what the hell u replied so fast
toru: maybe i was waiting for ur text all day
you: wait why did i grimace
anyway are u down?
toru: sure iâll try!
meet u at our usual table ><
You climb the stairs up to the library, chuckling softly at the memory of Gojoâs texts. Surprisingly, Gojo is already sitting in his seat when you arrive. He pauses his typing and pulls down one side of his headphones, looking over his shoulder at you. His eyes light up and you offer him a small wave, watching as he responds enthusiastically.
âYou didnât stand me up.â
You chuckle drily, pulling out your seat beside him and sitting down. âWhat is this, some bad first date?â
Gojo grins like youâve said something particularly funny. âIs that your go-to line or something?â
âWhat?â
âOh, uh. Nothing.â He looks away, swiping his finger across the trackpad.
When he doesnât say anything else, you take it as your cue to take out your things, still eyeing him. âDidnât bring your mouse today?â
âYou remembered?â
You make a face at his sudden hopeful expression. âYouâre being weird.â
He slumps back into his chair. âYeah, I gave myself the ick. Iâm just nervous.â
âAbout?â
He hums, looking away at the rest of the library. âStuff.â
You let that sit for a moment, then try to steer things back toward the reason youâre both here. For a while, you make a decent attempt at studying. You open your laptop, pull up your notes, ask him a question about the assessment that he answers after a beat too long. But it quickly becomes obvious that whatever is making him weird hasnât gone away. He keeps glancing down at his notes only to stare straight through them, then out the window, then back at his laptop. Every few seconds he finds a new way to fidget: tapping his pen, rubbing the back of his neck, shifting in his chair, bouncing his leg under the table.
By the time he starts clicking his pen open and shut, you give up pretending not to notice. You lean back slightly and raise an eyebrow at him. âSomething else youâd rather be doing?â
He stills at once, like heâs been caught. âMaybe,â he admits after a second. âKind of.â
You narrow your eyes. âKind of?â
Gojo huffs out a breath and glances at you, then away again. âOkay, donât laugh, but thereâs this shounen manga pop-up showcase at the central library right now. And I thoughtâsince weâve talked about Digimon and all that stuffâmaybe youâd want to go check it out with me.â
You blink. âGo together?â
He scratches the back of his head, suddenly finding the edge of his laptop intensely interesting. âI mean, yeah. Not like a date or anything. Just as friends. Or whatever. Weâve both been staring at the same five pages for the last twenty minutes, so I thought maybe we could take a break before coming back. I heard theyâve got themed pastries at the ground floor cafĂŠ too, and Iâm pretty sure thereâs a huge stand of that one character you like.â
You canât help but laugh softly. âFriends, huh? Alright, sure. Sounds like fun.â
The relief that flashes across his face is immediate and almost embarrassingly obvious. He leans back in his chair, grinning so widely itâs hard not to laugh again. âReally? Alright, cool. Cool. Friends. Totally casual.â
He slams his lid close and starts shoving it into his case. You blink before mirroring his gesture with your own belongings.
âOh, you meant right now?â
He looks up, already halfway done packing.âIs there any better time than the present?â
There probably is, considering you had both technically come here to study, but the fond exasperation that thought should bring never fully arrives. Instead, you find yourself closing your laptop too, slipping your charger back into your bag as he waits with barely restrained excitement.
If you told the version of yourself from a few months ago that youâd willingly abandon studying to follow Gojo somewhere, you wouldâve laughed in your own face. But the walk turns out to be fun. More than fun, actually. He talks the whole way, hands moving animatedly as he jumps between topics and drags you along with him, and by the time the central library comes into view, youâre almost disappointed the walk was so short.
Gojoâs eyes are bright as the automatic doors slide open. He looks almost boyish like this, all open excitement and easy chatter, and youâre still watching him when that expression falters.
You follow his gaze around the corner and toward the signs for the display, your own smile quickly dropping.
Itâs underwhelming, to put it lightly. A small corner of the library has been cordoned off, just a few tables with stacked manga, a sparse display of badges pinned to a board against the wall, and a few posters of famous shounen series plastered against the nearby walls.
Gojo slows, his shoulders slumping as the excitement drains from him. âOh. Uh.â He takes in the scene though, it doesnât take long due to the size of the exhibit. âItâs⌠smaller than I thought.â
âThatâs what she said.â You glance at him, trying to mask your own surprise at the tiny setup. âHey, itâs okay. Maybe thereâs more elsewhere!â
He follows you like a lost puppy as you explore the nearby areas, though it quickly becomes clear thereâs nothing more than the original display. Even the cafĂŠ at the entrance is lacking. It only has one themed dessert, and itâs a poorly designed cake pop of Happy from Fairy Tail, his tiny round chocolate eyes seemingly staring off to the side where a normal chocolate chip cookie sits. Gojo winces at the cake pop and you offer to buy it for him. He shakes his head, hesitant to separate it from the cookie since it seems like it wants it so badly.
When your feet circle back to the pathetic tables, even you struggle to stay upbeat.
He shakes his head, a small, defeated grin forming. âMan, that sucks. I guess I just imagined it being a little more⌠epic. You know, life-sized statues, endless merch, chaos everywhere, notââhe gestures to the badgesââbadges.â
âBadges can be cool,â you try, tracing the edge of one.
âThere are only badges of all the mainstream anime,â he mumbles, coming up to stand beside you. Due to the tiny display, youâre shoulder to shoulder, your arm brushing his. âGod, this fucking sucks. My bad, Y/N. I was hoping we could look at all the manga together, but all I managed to do was waste your time. We can just go back to the library and continue studying.â
You frown at his dejected tone, and when you look over, heâs pouting.
His shoulders are slumped, his hands absentmindedly fidgeting with a badge, spinning it back and forth with no real interest, and his lips are jutted out in an almost cartoonish pout. When his eyes shift at your attention, you quickly look away and hope he didnât catch the slight quiver of your lips.
Then, before you can think better of it, you grab a badge off the display and pin it to his chest. When he starts to look down, you lift his chin with your finger instead.
He blinks at you, owlish, and you canât help but smile at the clueless look in his eyes.
âAsk me a yes-or-no question,â you say. âTo try and guess what characterâs badge I just pinned on you. Câmon, I bet you wonât get it.â
For a moment, you think your forced enthusiasm has put him off and that he wonât play along. But then he suddenly scoffs, his lips tugging up. âAre they a girl?â
âNo.â Itâs contagious and you find yourself smiling back.
He purses his lips, and you recognise the signature glint in his eyes when heâs concentrating. He hums, thinking a little more seriously. âIs the series heâs from released before 2020?â
âYes.â
âIs he part of a trio?â
âSeriously? Weâre talking about shounen right now. Almost every shounen series has a trio.â You giggle. âBut no, he isnât.â
He rolls his eyes. âIs the character the main character of the series?â
âNo, but Iâd say a lot more people like this character over the actual main character.â
âIs he from a sports anime?â
âNo.â
âCould he be in a sports anime?â
That catches you off guard and you scrunch your face up in thought. âI honestly canât imagine him doing any sport. He might be a perma-benched player thatâs only there for strategy.â
âIs he, like, a mentor character?â
You pout a little at how on-the-nose his question is. âYes.â
âDoes he have powers?â
âYes.â
He clicks his fingers. âAh. Does he have a signature weapon?â
âWell, he uses a gun often, but his powers arenât related to his weapon of choice.â
âSo his powers arenât offensive?â
âExactly.â
He hums, a smile growing on his face. âIs the manga based in the modern era?â
âYes.â
âIs he dead?â
âNo, but there was a moment when everyone was freaking out because it almost seemed like he was dead.â
âBrown hair?â
âYes.â
Gojo clicks his fingers in realisation. âOkay, Iâve got it. Is it Dazai?â He might as well have shouted eureka. His face brightens, hanging on your next words to confirm or deny his victory.
You giggle, nodding, and the smile he gives you is full of childlike wonder.
âClose your eyes. Itâs your turn.â
You do so. âI bet I can guess it with fewer questions than you.â
He snorts. âYouâre on.â
A few customers shoot you dirty looks when they walk past, clearly not appreciating your giggles as you and Gojo take turns playing your own chopped version of celebrity heads. Time seems to pass quickly over laughter and jokes until you finally reach up to unpin the latest badge to place it back. He stops you, hands covering yours.
âLet me buy that for you,â he says with a lingering smile.
You raise an eyebrow but let him take it off your hands. âWho said I even want this?â
âCome on, itâll be like weâre matching.â
âTheyâre not even from the same series.â
âNot to anyone else,â he muses, thumb stroking the front of the badge like itâs something precious. âBut we'll know theyâre connected and thatâs good enough to call them matching.â
You turn away, suddenly far too aware of the warmth rising to your face. Clearing your throat, you gesture toward the manga shelves down the aisle. âLetâs go see what else theyâve got. Sure, we came for the pop-up, but weâre still in a library.â
He follows after you, noticeably lighter on his feet than before, and you let out a small sigh of relief. Then, almost immediately, you berate yourself for the tiny flutter in your chest. Why does that even matter? you scold yourself, brushing the feeling aside.
Before you can dwell on it for too long, he pinches your sleeve and tugs you gently toward him when your pace slows.
âHave you read this?â
âNot yet,â you admit, though a small smile creeps onto your face at the sight of his enthusiasm.
Without missing a beat, he launches into an animated explanation of the series, waving his hands as he talks. Sometimes it feels like heâs speaking more with his fingers than with actual words, sketching out invisible diagrams in the air as he links characters and plot points together. His sentences tumble over each other as he rambles about character motivations, why one of them is a complete fraud, and why the plot veers dangerously close to deus ex machina territory, only cutting himself off with an apologetic smile right before he spoils something major.
âAnd I swear the author gave up halfway through the series. The manga finished in 2023, by the way, but I think by the end heâd already landed a deal for a spin-off and started putting all his effort into that instead. You know what I saw on Twitter recently? People were hyping up this one line like it was amazing foreshadowing, but itâs not even good foreshadowing because, come on, the final fight was so cheap. Like whenââ He stops himself abruptly. âOh, wait. You canât know that yet.â
You nod along, trying to keep up with the flood of names, locations, and arc points that mean absolutely nothing to you, but the sheer energy in his voice is contagious. Somehow, itâs impossible to be annoyed or bored when heâs like this, completely in his element.
Eventually, you stop trying to follow every detail. Instead, your attention drifts to him. The way his hair keeps falling into his eyes, forcing him to run a hand through his bangs only for them to slip right back into place seconds later. The way his brows knit together when he rants, only to lift again the moment he gets to a part he genuinely loves. Despite the noise of the busy library, his voice rises above everything else, clear and captivating, demanding your attention without even trying.
Itâs almost impressive how quickly his mouth keeps up with his thoughts. You squint slightly, watching the shape of his lips around each word just to confirm that yes, it really is him speaking that fast and not some video playing in the background.
You realise a second too late that heâs stopped talking.
You blink and look up at him.
His brows are furrowed, though not in the same way as before, and you hate that you now know the difference. âUh, you still with me?â
You blink a few more times, then shake your head slightly as if to clear the haze. âYeah. Yeah, Iâm here.â
Gojo tilts his head, clearly amused. âReally? Because you look a little dazed.â
Heat rushes to your face and you quickly drop your gaze to the manga in his hands, as if that had always been the focus of your attention. âYeah, of course I was listening. Something about deus ex machina, right?â
He snorts softly. âI finished talking about the ending minutes ago. You donât have to pretend if you werenât paying attention.â
You roll your eyes, hoping your embarrassment isnât as obvious as it feels. âFine. Maybe I got a little distracted.â
His grin widens at that, though it softens around the edges as he steps a little closer. âDistracted, huh? By what?â
You hesitate, heart doing something strange at the way heâs looking at you. âNothing.â
âReally?â
âReally,â you shoot back.
âAlright then,â he concedes, though the glint in his eyes never fades. âI guess Iâll just have to step up my explanations next time so you donât get distracted again.â
He slides the manga carefully back onto the shelf, nudging the surrounding volumes aside to make room and making sure none of the pages bend as he slots it into place. There has to be something wrong with you, because even that small gesture makes warmth bloom in your chest. You make a mental note to check the series out when you get home.
Gojo turns back to you and gestures for you to lead the way. âYour turn.â
He listens as you tell him about one of your favourite manga series, and the embarrassment of getting caught fades quickly as you explain exactly why itâs a masterpiece. When itâs his turn again, you make a conscious effort to pay attention and not drift off into another daydream. So when he asks if you were actually listening this time, you huff and answer every one of his questions with ease.
He grins at you like youâve handed him the world.
Eventually, the two of you leave the library with less merch than youâd expected walking in, but with two badges that mean more than youâd ever dare admit. He doesnât fasten his onto the front of his bag with the rest of his pins and accessories, mumbling something about wanting to keep it safe, so you keep yours in your pocket instead, your thumb brushing over its smooth surface as you walk.
You expect him to call it a day after that, maybe peel off with some excuse about having things to do, but instead he tugs lightly on your sleeve.
âCâmon.â
âWhere?â
âCafe run. My treat.â
You raise a brow. âSince when do you buy me coffee?â
âSince you saved this disaster of a day,â he says matter-of-factly, already steering you toward the street with a hand at your shoulder. âBesides, itâd be cruel not to feed you after I made you listen to my manga rants for hours.â
You snort, but you donât fight him on it. The truth is, coffee does sound nice, even if you remain slightly mystified by the idea of going with Gojo of all people. You frown a little when the thought doesnât leave you disgusted.
Youâre still mulling over the drink options when Gojo steps up to the counter to order.
âCan I get an iced matcha latteââ He cuts himself off awkwardly, rubbing the back of his neck. âJust an iced matcha latte, thanks. Oh, and a vanilla soy latte.â
You eye him as he thanks the cashier, pays, and nods toward the waiting area. Seeing no reason not to follow, you move to stand beside him again.
âAre you drinking two drinks?â
âStupid.â He pokes your forehead in a way that, annoyingly, you canât bring yourself to hate. âOne of them is for you.â
âThe⌠vanilla latte?â
âYeah.âYou dip your head, trying to catch his eye. âWhy arenât you looking at me all of a sudden?â
He shrugs, suddenly fascinated by the blank wall behind the counter. âI have no idea what youâre talking about.â
You study him for a second before letting out a small laugh. âWell, you got lucky. Thatâs kind of my go-to order. How did you know?â
âI guess you just look like youâd want something like that.â
You stare at him. âOh yeah? I just have the look of someone who likes vanilla lattes?â
He only hums in response.
You frown a little as you take him in properly: the way he rocks back and forth on his feet, hands tucked into his pockets, trying very hard to look unaffected. All he needs is a whistle to sell the act. Thankfully, one of the cashiers calls out his number, and he eagerly slips away to collect the drinks.
When he comes back, he hands you the vanilla latte. You take it with a small thanks, then pause as something occurs to you.
âOh. Send me your bank details. Iâll transfer you for the merch and the coffee,â you say, already reaching for your phone.
When he doesnât mirror the gesture, you look up.
âItâs fine. I got it.â
âWhat? No way. I donât want to owe you anything.â
âYou donât owe me anything,â he says. âI got it for you because I wanted to.â
Slowly, you take your hand back out of your bag. âYou did? That doesnât sound like you.â
âI wouldâve thought youâd know me a little better after today,â Gojo says, finally looking at you with a smile. Then he gestures toward the door. âCome on. Youâll miss the bus back to the dorms.â
âYouâre being very weird, you know.â
âI have no idea what youâre talking about,â he says with the kind of smile that only proves your point. He brushes past you, not unkindly, and takes the lead toward the bus stop.
You stare at his back for a moment before letting out an amused huff and hurrying after him. âSo youâre a matcha person, huh? How performative.â
âPlease. I liked matcha before it was cool.â
âSo youâre claiming to be an OG, then? Quick, name every matcha brand.â
âThat would take forever. I can tell you where this one came from, though.â Gojo takes a sip of his drink and hums in exaggerated thought. âThis matcha was ground from the soils of Shizuoka Prefecture. I can even give you the row and column of the specific tea leaves used to make this drink.â
You snort. âWhat is it then?â
â32C, 82G.â
âAre we playing Battleships?â
The two of you share a short laugh at the bit, and the thought hits you strangely hard: you never imagined one day youâd be joking around like this with Gojo of all people.
By the time you reach the station, the two of you stop beneath the shelter.
âWhat number are you catching?â you ask, pulling out your phone to check the bus times.
âOh, Iâm not catching the bus. I take the train.â
You look up at him, incredulous. âWhat? Then why are you here?â
He tilts his head, straw slipping from his mouth as he looks at you like youâve said something ridiculous. âTo make sure you get on the bus safe, obviously. Itâs fine, Iâm already here anyway. Iâll just wait with you until it comes.â
âThatâs⌠actually really nice of you.â
Gojo shrugs. âI guess I just really care about the wellbeing of others.â
âWow. Your compassion for helping citizens would go crazy on a superhero rĂŠsumĂŠ.â
He laughs, though the sound comes out slightly off somehow, enough that you notice even if you canât place why. âWhat? Thatâs insane. You think Iâd make a good superhero? Me? Thatâs ridiculous. Iâm a clutz and a nerd and hardly cut out for the whole saving-the-world thing.â
You think back to the cricket incident and giggle softly. âDonât count yourself short. I think youâre a lot more capable than you give yourself credit for, Gojo.â
At that, he turns his head quickly and takes a sharp sip of his drink. âSatoru.â
âHm?â You look up at him, wondering if the slight flush at the tips of his ears has anything to do with the late afternoon sun.
âEveryone calls me Satoru but you,â he says, still not looking at you. âYou might as well just call me Satoru too. Itâs weird if you donât.â
It takes a few seconds for the words to fully sink in. By then, he only seems to shrink further into himself, taking long, noisy pulls from his straw. By the time you recover enough to smirk, his cup is almost entirely ice.
You lean in slightly, trying to catch his eye. âWhat a cheesy thing to say. Donât tell me youâreââ
The rest dies on your tongue when he finally glances down at you. The same pink tint at his ears has spread across his cheeks.
He frowns despite it, brows drawing together. âForget it. I knew you wouldnât take me seriously.â He pulls the straw from his mouth and shakes the cup for more drink, only for the ice to rattle uselessly. With visible annoyance, he takes the shot and tosses the empty cup into the bin. âSorry for dragging you all the way out here today. Your bus is probably coming soon, so Iâll head offââ
You gape at him. âWait!â
He freezes and turns back slightly. âGoing to tease me? Save it for tomorrow.â
âNo,â you say quickly. âI was just surprised you wanted me to call you by your first name. I thought you hated me.â
âMe?â he scoffs, turning around fully now. âYou have to be joking.â
âIâm serious,â you insist. âYou were awful to me. I mean, you literally went out of your way to embarrass me when we barely knew each other.â
He runs a hand through his hair and exhales. âYeah, I know. I was⌠bad at that. I never hated you, Y/N. I just didnât know what to do with you.â
âThe moment you start making sense, the world is going to end. Iâm sure of it.â
He laughs quietly, then looks at you again. âIâm trying to say that when you showed up and started showing me up, beating me and everything, I got a little intimidated. And maybe you were right all along, but I wanted you to notice me the way Iâd started noticing you. So yeah, maybe I did start tugging on your pigtails just to get your attention. You were just soââ He cuts himself off, jaw tightening. âNever mind.â
âHold on,â you say, stepping closer. âYou canât do that. Finish it.â
âSorry. Free trialâs over. If you want me to keep going, thatâll be 200 diamondsââ
âSatoru.â
He closes his mouth immediately, eyes widening a fraction before he sighs. âDamn. I shouldâve never asked you to say that.â
You tilt your head, catching his gaze. âPlease?â
Something strained flashes across his face, like the word is lodged somewhere painful in his chest. âYou were just soâŚâ He exhales through his nose, defeated. âSo bright that it was annoying. I couldnât ignore you, even if I tried. Every time you laughed, my head would already be turning, and I hated it because you werenât smiling at me.â
You laugh awkwardly. âWe werenât exactly friends.â
âNo,â he says softly. âThat was the issue. But even then, I wouldnât have been satisfied.â
For a moment, neither of you says anything. The confession settles between you, large and impossible to ignore. Youâve given up trying to look at him because thereâs a strange tightness in your chest making it hard to breathe, and Satoru looks like heâs doing everything in his power not to bolt.
âDoes that bother you?â he asks.
Unable to speak, you shake your head.
âOkay.â He exhales slowly. âThen can I try something?â
You look up just as he reaches out to tuck a strand of hair behind your ear. His hand hovers there for a moment, giving you an out.
You donât take it. Mostly because your feet feel rooted to the pavement beneath you.
âSatoru,â you whisper, and he seems to find whatever answer he was searching for in your eyes.
He leans in slowly, like heâs afraid the moment might shatter if he moves too quickly. Your breath mingles. He hesitates, and you give him the smallest encouragement by leaning in too. Your noses brush with a ticklish little bump, and the whole world narrows to the space between your mouthsâ
Then a sharp buzz cuts through the quiet.
It doesnât register properly in your mind at first. You only know it sounds ugly against the stillness. But Satoru knows immediately.
He freezes. So do you.bThen comes the second vibration.
His shoulders sag. His forehead drops forward and bumps lightly into yours.
âYouâve got to be kidding me,â he mutters.
âEverything okay?â you ask, though you already know the answer.
He pulls back just enough to take his phone out and glance at the screen. Whatever he sees drains all the softness from his face, replacing it with that familiar unreadable tension.
âYeah,â he says, forcing a crooked smile. âI, uh, have to go. Family emergency. Again.â
You smile back. âI hope everyoneâs okay.â
âRight. Yeah.â
âYou should probably go.â
âRight.â
He lingers for another beat, phone held uselessly in his hand, before clearing his throat and stepping back. âIâll call you tonight?â
âYeah. Tonight.â
âCool,â he says. âCool, cool, cool, cool. Get home safe, yeah?â
âYeah.â You keep smiling even as he starts to walk away. âThanks for today.â
You watch him go for far longer than you should, long enough that his figure starts to blur into the movement of the street beyond the bus stop. Only when he disappears properly do you let your smile falter, your hand tightening slightly around the paper cup.
It hits you then, all at once and without mercy, how badly you are in trouble. You stare down at your coffee like it might offer guidance and find none.
Oh, you are so doomed.
Spidermanâs muscle strain against the cold sticky goo binding his wrists behind his back, the sharp bite of them digging into his skin as he knelt on the rough warehouse floor. His suit clings to him like a second skin, torn across his chest and down his thigh from the brutal fight. Thereâs a gash above his eyebrow thatâs dripping blood into his eyes, but for some reason his vision is clear.
The amazing Spiderman makes it his purpose to never stay down for long. This time, however, he wonders if he even wants to get back up.
Venom looms over him with a maw of jagged teeth and eyes like void fixed down on him with predatory amusement. âSpiderman down on his knees. What a sight.â
Gojo smirks under his mask even as his knees ache and cold air brushes the exposed skin around his mouth.
âI hate to break it to you but Iâm not into oversized ink blots,â he spits. âAnd donât get so cocky too soon. Havenât you played Darkest Dungeon? Overconfidence is a slow and insidious killer.â
âThereâs always a response rearing to go from that tongue of yours, isnât there?â Venom hisses. âAlways so self-assured, always so prepared. I wonder how long that peace you know will last.â
âIf I wanted my fortune read I would have gone to a tarot card reader.â
Venom laughs and the sound is suddenly so achingly familiar that Gojo freezes, something primal overturning into his stomach telling him to run. But thereâs nowhere to run, not when his wrists are tied behind his back, not when heâs kneeled at the feet of his archnemesis, and especially not when the tendrils of the villain slowly pull back to reveal a humanoid form Satoru knows far too well.
The black mass ebbs back from Venomâs face, appendages retracting with a wet slurp, revealingâ
Her. You.
The girl from the 5th floor of the campus library that he kept seeing that one finals season a whole year ago, the one he once told Geto about until he saw you again with his childhood friend and decided you were firmly off-limits. The same girl he suddenly couldnât miss in the crowd when 5pm hits and the tired students pour out seeking night outs or cozy night ins, the same girl who when he finally had a class with, had quickly cut him down with a glare that sent a jolt right through his body. The face he thinks about when heâs alone in the dark of his room, one hand down his pants and the other holding his phone.
Your pretty lips now curl into a smirk as your piercing eyes that he just loves to pretend to hate, locks onto his, full of mocking triumph. The symbiote suit hugs your curves like liquid, accentuating every sway of your hips as you step even closer.
Wait, what the fuck?
Gojo opens his mouth to say something but his breath hitches and the quip dies on his tongue.
âWhat theâY/N? What are youââ He cuts himself off when you laugh, soft and familiar, a sound far too beautiful for a grungy place like this.
âWhatâs wrong, Spidey?â you purr, voice lilting with mock innocence. âYou look like youâve seen a ghost. Or maybeââ
Heâs almost certain he stops breathing altogether as you roughly tilt his chin up with one long tendril, staring at your face because thereâs nothing else to do.
âYou see something you like?â
He splutters. âThis is bullshit. Youâre not Venom, you canât be. This has to be some kind of symbiote mind-fuck trick.â
âWhatâs wrong? Youâve lost your composure all of a sudden.â
Gojo growls, a feral sound dragging up his throat. âDonât fucking look into my mind. Stop looking like her!â
You coo, lips pretty and downturned. âStop? How can I? Spiderman, I am her.â
Your words make him shudder and you press on.
âAh, so itâs about that, is it? Poor, little Spiderman, torn in so many little directions. You canât decide whether to be Satoru or this silly attempt at being a superhero.â
He flinches when his name slips from your lips, remembering how soft it had sounded when you first said it, cheeks pink and eyes fluttering down. Seeing you standing over him now, eyes harsh and unforgiving, he feels a stirring in his gut that only pushes him closer to the edge.
âNo snarky response this time?â
âYou canât be her.â
âWhy not? I could be anyone.â You lift a foot and press it against his thigh, pushing it outwards casually. âWhy donât we be truthful for once, hm? And stop hiding behind all these secrets? Itâs not that I canât be her, itâs that you donât want me to be. Youâve always vented to Suguru about how nice it would be to have it both but this is the one thing you donât want to share with Spiderman. Me. And yet, you go against yourself and seek me out as both. Why?â
Gojo grits his teeth. âI donât have to explain anything to you. You know nothing about me.â
âOh, but I promise you I donât miss much.â Your foot trails higher, nudging now against his inner thigh and despite the situation, he flinches, that unfamiliar feeling spilling into something scarily recognisable.
âHold onââ
âLooks like youâre still not being completely truthful, Satoru,â you purr and he hisses.
Your foot presses against the bulge straining his suit, the pressure firm and deliberate. Gojoâs hips jerk involuntarily, a sharp exhale escaping him as you drag your sole along his length.
âGet off me,â he growls, but it sounds more like a plea, his voice husky and ragged.
He tries to shift away, wrists twisting futilely in the bindings, but his body betrays him and he leans into the friction instead. Your boot works him slowly, the leather cool against the heat building under his suit.
âMake me,â you taunt, eyes gleaming with wicked amusement.
You donât let up, your foot dragging slowly now, tracing the outline of his cock with teasing precision and his hips respond but bucking up involuntarily, pleasure sparking hot and fierce. He clamps his jaw, trying to stifle the sound, but it rumbles out anyway.
âThisâŚâ His eyes flutter as you press down particularly hard, forcing a smirk even as his breaths come out ragged. âThis is your master plan? Youâre more of aânghâpervert than I thought.â
You tilt your head, eyes sparkling with amusement. âMaster plan? Do I need a reason to do any of this? Maybe Iâve finally decided to do something about all that eye-fucking youâve been giving me in class. Thought I wouldnât notice?â
Your boot grinds down harder, the ridged sole catching on the zipper of his suit, right over where his cock throbs insistently. He bites back a moan but it slips out anyway, loud and guttural, his thighs quivering under the pressure.
His face flushes deeper, those blue eyes narrowing in a mix of defiance and desperation. âYouâre⌠not her. Canât be. She'd neverââ His words cut off as you twist your ankle, dragging the bootâs toe along his balls through the tight fabric, making them tighten and draw up.
âNever what? Touch you like this? Make you beg with just a foot?â You lean in closer, whispering in his ear so soft he almost canât hear over his pounding heartbeat. âAdmit it, web-head. You've jerked off thinking about me pinning you down, havenât you? All those stolen glances in the hallway, pretending you didnât pop a boner every time I called you out.â
Gojoâs breath hitches, his cock leaking pre-cum that soaks through the suit, darkening the material. He shakes his head but itâs weak, his hips rolling up to chase the friction despite himself.
âShut up. Justâhahâfuck off.â The growl lacks bite, cracking into a whine when you lift your foot slightly, denying him the pressure for a torturous second before pressing back down, slower this time, stroking from base to tip with deliberate drags.
You chuckle. âSuch a pretty liar. Look at you, kneeling there, dick pathetically hard. Bet youâve never even been touched like this before, huh? Who knew Spiderman was all talk and no action.â
Your boot circles the head of his cock, smearing the wet spot wider.
He groans, loud and unrestrained now, his head tipping back as pleasure coils tight in his gut. âN-not⌠your business.â
But his bodyâs honest, thighs spreading wider on their own and inviting more. Sweat beads on his forehead, trickling down his temple, and he forces his eyes open to glare at you, trying for a smirk. "If this is your idea of a fight, youâre losing. I couldâŚfuck, I could break out anytime.â
You grin, a tendril slashing his suit to free his cock. it springs free, hard and leaking, tip flushed and begging to be touched. Gojoâs eyes flutter again when you touch him bare, a soft whine escaping despite his efforts. He rolls them back slightly, fighting the wave crashing through him, but his hips roll forward, chasing the pressure.
âAdmit it feels good. Or are you going to keep pretending youâre not leaking over my boot right now?"
He bites his lip hard. âFeels likeâŚfeels like nothing. Barely notice it.â
Total bullshit. Every drag sends sparks up his spine, his cock throbbing insistently, begging for more. He can't even seem to focus on what youâre saying anymore, not when youâre twisting your ankle like so, rubbing his sensitive tip and he canât hold back a throaty moan, his body arching into it.
âNothing? Your dickâs twitching like itâs got a mind of its own.â
âI could break these cuffs anytime,â he mumbles again as if convincing himself as if his hips arenât thrusting up greedily, fucking into the rhythm.
âBreak them then. Or donât. We both know you wonât.â
The friction builds up relentlessly, up, down, the ball of your foot grinding against his mushroom head on every pass, sweat beading under his mask, eyes rolling back fully now as the coil winds tighter, pleasure bordering on overload.
âOh, fuckââ Gojo rasps, voice a wrecked mess of gasps and moans.
âToo much? Gonna cum for me?â
He shakes his head frantically, but the denial crumbles into a choked sob when you drag your heel along the underside, pressing firmly over the vein that throbs with every heartbeat. His cock jumps, tip flaring red, and a spurt of pre-cum leaks out, coating your shoe in glossy trails.
âCome on, pretty boy. You're so close,â you coo.
âNo⌠shit, Iâfuck!â His words fracture as you speed up, pumping his length in firm, unyielding strokes, up to smear over the sensitive ridge, down to crush against his balls, rolling them gently before lifting to repeat.
His balls draw tight, heavy and full, aching for release, and he grinds his teeth in an effort to hold back but the pressure mounts, a white-hot knot twisting in his core.
You curl your fingers in his mask and yank it off, his white hair spilling down to reveal his wrecked expression, eyes rolling back and drool dripping from the corner of his lips. you grin, pure evil and glee before you tug his hair to make him look up at you.
âCome on, Satoru,â you purr. âShow me how much you hate this, how much you need it.â
The command shatters him. His entire body seizes, back arching off the cold floor as the orgasm rips through and his cock erupts in thick, forceful jets that splatter across your boot, your calf, even arcing up to hit his own abdomen. He cries out, voice breaking into a raw, uninhibited moan that echoes off the warehouse walls.
âFuck, yesâoh God, Y/N!â
His hips jerk helplessly as you keep stroking him through it, dragging every last shudder from his body until heâs wrung completely dry. Heâs whimpering by the end of it, oversensitive and trembling, head fallen back against the pillow, chest rising and falling in ragged pants. Cum spills down the front of his suit in sticky, obscene streaks, and still you donât let him hide from it, your hand only slowing once heâs been pushed so far past pleasure it borders on cruelty.
âNot bad for a virgin,â you murmur, voice sweet in that way that makes humiliation burn twice as hot. âBet youâve never made yourself cum that hard, huh? All those lonely nights jerking off to thoughts of me, and this is the best you could do?â
Gojoâs face burns crimson, shame and bliss tangling together until he canât tell one from the other. âShut up,â he breathes, though it comes out broken and weak. âThat didnât mean anything.â
âReally?â you ask, and the smile you give him is devastating. âThen why are you hard again?
His gaze drops before he can stop it. Sure enough, his cock is already thickening back to life, flushed and twitching against his stomach as if his body has decided to betray him completely. When he looks up again, youâre licking your lips slowly, deliberately, and his mouth goes dry enough to hurt
âWant me to show you what youâve been missing?â you ask. âOr are you still going to pretend?â
Gojo isnât a weak man, he really isnât. But with your foot still by his thigh, body so close and promises of warmth and softness beyond his filthies fantasies, and that look in your eyes like you already know exactly how this ends, he can feel himself caving. The word is already there, already rising up his throat, yes, yes, pleaseâ
And then his eyes snap open. The darkness of his room hits him like cold water.
For a second he canât move. He just lies there, disoriented, heart hammering against his ribs hard enough to hurt, the last traces of the dream still clinging to him in flashes too vivid to shake. Your voice, your mouth, the heat of your body. The sight of you above him, cruel and beautiful and impossibly close.
Then reality settles in, humiliating in its clarity.
Heâs alone.
Flat on his back in a bed thatâs too warm now, sheets tangled around his legs, boxers sticking damply to his skin. His cock throbs untouched, leaking embarrassingly through the fabric, still hard enough that the loss of the dream feels almost physically painful. He drags in a breath and it catches somewhere in his chest, shaky and shallow.
He groans, burying his face in his pillow, cheeks burning even though no one is there to see it, and lies there in the aftermath of his own disgrace, hard and aching and still haunted by the sound of your voice.Â
Gojo is unfair.
He knows heâs unfair. Itâs hard not to when the reminder comes as easily as catching his own reflection in the dark screen of his laptop, or running a hand through his hair in frustration and knowing that, at the very least, having silky, soft, gorgeous white hair isnât on his list of worries. Itâs as easy as checking his grades at the end of every semester, his eyes drifting from an episode of Frieren on his laptop to the screen of his phone. When his gaze skims over his marks and settles on his final grade, Gojo knows heâs unfair.
A crash in the street, someone yelling for help, and heâs already pulling on the blue-and-white mask and swinging out the window, because apparently good looks and a big brain werenât enough. The universe had to make him Spiderman too.
He knows what he is: smart, strong, and kindhearted (that last one might be a sneak). That robbery he stopped two weeks ago before his cardiovascular final? Yeah, no biggie. Did he just save a hijacked bus the morning of this very neuropharmacology tutorial? Yeah, but no sweat, heâll still pass top of his class like alwaysâ
â97%?â
He watches you freeze and immediately slam the lid of your laptop down. You whip around to face the culprit who aired out your grade, temporarily stunned when itâs someone you donât recognise.
Gojo narrows his eyes. âHow did someone like you get a 97?â
His words come out too harsh to be surprise and lacking any warmth to come off as a congratulations. Because you donât look like the kind of person whoâd flash their grades around or fish for praise. If anything, you look horrified to have been noticed at all, eyes wide and shoulders tense like youâd been caught doing something embarrassing rather than scoring nearly full marks on a quiz the class had been stressing over ten minutes before it began.
âWhat the fuck does that mean?â you hiss back. âDo you mind? Donât look over my shoulder like a creep.â
He smirks warily but it doesnât reach his eyes. âItâs a 97. Thatâs something to gloat about. Didnât think it would come from someone like you though.â
âSo youâve been saying. What does that even mean? I donât look like the type of person to get a 97?â
âYeah,â he says bluntly, an answer seemingly as obvious as asking if grass was green or if the sky was blue.
You press your lips together to avoid cussing him out in the chatty classroom. âDo I even know you?â
âIt would be hard to miss me,â he shoots back. âIâm the one that's been topping these quizzes since the semester started.â
âFell off, did you?â
âPlease, this was a fluke, princess.â
You practically hum with irritation at the nickname. âAnd what did you get?â
He puts up a firewall immediately. âThat's nunya.â
âWhat?â
âNone of your business.â He grins.
You grimace at his evidently childish nature. âI don't think you can say that after shoving your ugly face into my business.â
You decide to take things into your own hands, standing up from your chair to reach back and snatch his laptop. He blinks at the sudden movement, momentarily distracted at your choice of words before it registers.
And Gojo is Spiderman. He could easily grab your wrist and stop you before you get too close but there's something making him hesitate. You smell nice, he notes faintly, like vanilla and something artificial but sweet. It's your perfume no doubt, he just can't wrap his head around why it smelt so good.
Your fingers successfully reach close around his laptop and lifts it off the table, placing it onto your thighs as your finger slides across the trackpad. You let out a victorious, âHah!â which has him blinking out of his daze to follow your gesture and observe the damage, seconds too late from preventing it.
His mark stares back at him.
92%.
Gojo notices you then, which is embarrassing because he doesnât even know your name. All he knows is that ever since the finals season began, youâve taken his spot on the fifth floor of the library, head down, brows furrowed in that cute way indicating your immense concentration as you try to visualise what youâre learning by tracing words and formulas in the air. He doesnât stay for long but the next day youâre still there in his spot, and then the next, and then the day after.
He stopped caring about getting his spot back on the fifth day.
He finds you everywhere else, chatting with friends on the lawn outside the north biological science building, giggling over brunch in the cafeteria, the smile you flash to your friends far kinder than the one you swung at him like a weapon that day in the tutorial room.
Youâre unfair. Gorgeous, always put together, nails adorned with charms and chrome, the confident click of your heels against the pavement introducing your entrance into every building with no shame. His ears always tune him into your conversations, and on the day that he discovered you had a sense of humourâa good one too, God forbidâhe only seemed to hate you more.
Because he is unfair, yes, he knows that. But thereâs something restless in his chest and youâre unfair in a similar way, but finding a fault in you would be an impossible task.
And that doesnât swing with him.
Because sometimes, Gojo feels like a stick adrift a river. Sometimes the currents are fierce and he sways here and there, a puppet to its frivolous nature, and sometimes the waters are calm though he is no less at its mercy than before. Heâll duck his head when people talk to him, do their part in the assessment because itâll be as easy as opening his laptop and writing the first thing that comes to mind. He doesnât care what anyone says about him, doesnât care that they think heâs quiet when truthfully, his mind is always whirring to talk to someone.
He has his friends, he has Geto, he has Shoko. And recently, it seems he has you too.
Bright, sweet, funny. You're beautiful and you donât even know it. He leans in to the sound of your laughter, wants to feel your palm against his cheek, feel your soft pink lips against his eyelids and on his cheeks. He wants to lose himself in your voice, whether itâs to scold him or praise him he doesnât care, just wants to be close again.
âSatoru?â
Gojo flinches, jolting up right, his hand slipping from under his chin to push up his headphones and knocking them clean off his head. They're connected by wire so he catches it easily enough, but they fall down to knock against his hand awkwardly.
He looks up, meeting your bemused eyes as you stare down at him, the sun behind you, your hair tumbling down your shoulders.
âHey,â he says, breathlessly. âOh, uh, want to sit? I meanâwhat are you doing here? I thought you were going for lunch with⌠Shoko.â
His words trail off uselessly when you take him up on his offer, sliding a hand to smoothen your skirt as you sit, thighs brushing his.
âIâve been trying to get Shoko and Utahime together for ages so I thought this might be a good time. Besides, I saw you from up there.â You point up at one of the taller buildings and he mentally cheers for remembering your timetable right, fist bumping his past self for picking this spot to sun bathe.
âStalking me?â he teases softly, eyes searching your face.
You bump your shoulder against his. âAs if. This is a chance meeting.â
He chuckles, unable to take his eyes off you. âSo you're free for the rest of the day, then?â
âShould be.â
âOkay.â
You look up at him and he whips his gaze forward.
âAre you?â
âSorry?â
âAre you free right now, Satoru?â
âUhâyeah! Yes, I am. Free, that is. Iâm free right now.â He clears his throat when his voice comes out a little gravelly, ears burning as his own words come back to him. âSorry, Iâm justâŚâ
Thankfully, you laugh, eyes curving into cute little crescents and he thinks that even though youâre always pretty, this might be the best look on you.Â
âJust what?â you ask, tilting your head. There's something unbearably fond in your expression, so unlike the start of the semester when youâd barely give him the time of day.
âNothing,â he lies instantly.
Your brows lift and he caves under the weight of that look almost at once.
âNot nothing. I meanââ He drags a hand down his face, groaning under his breath. âIâm sorry, Iâm just being weird today.â
âPlease, youâre always weird.â
He turns to you, scandalised. âYou always say such nice things.â
You smile. âYou know what I mean.â
He does, and thatâs the problem. He knows what you mean when you call him weird, knows the exact shape of your affection when you look at him like this, all soft around the edges, voice gone warm enough to sink into. Heâd call himself weird if he was in your position, perhaps crueler words, but you donât say them even if heâs deserving. It makes his chest feel too full, like thereâs something alive in there clawing to get out.
For a moment, neither of you say anything. the campus hums around you in the distance, voices drift past, the rustle of leaves overhead, the low grind of a bus somewhere beyond the gates. But here, tucked away on the bench half drowned in sunlight, it feels strangely private.
You glance down at his hands. âYou okay? Youâre fidgeting.â
He looks too. His fingers are indeed twisting the headphone wire around and around, enough that itâll probably knot if he keeps going. He stills them immediately.
âAm not.â
You give him a look. âNervous?â
He lets out a laugh at that, because itâs either that or admit the truth and simply die on the spot. âWhat would I be nervous for?â
Your shoulder brushes his again when you shift, and it is such a small thing, so accidental it may as well be nothing, and yet he stops breathing for a second anyway.
âI donât know,â you murmur. âYou tell me.â
Gojo stares at you.
There are moments in life, he thinks, that split everything into before and after. Like how thereâs before he got bit and after he got bit, those grandiose moments that define his life. This might be one of them. Maybe there will always be the version of him that sat on this bench with his heart halfway up his throat, and the version after, whatever that may look like. He hopes that version of him is smiling by the end of it.
He swallows. âActually, I've been trying to.â
Your expression changes, playfulness softening. âTrying to tell me something?â
âYeah.â His voice comes out rougher than he means for it to. âYeah, Iââ
He stops. should he really start this off with âyeahâ?
"Iâve kind of been meaning to sayâno, that sounds equally as stupid.â He squeezes his eyes shut for a moment. âNot stupid, justâI had this whole thing in my head, and it sounded way better in there, so now Iâm trying to find it again and itâs justââ
Youâre staring at him like heâs hung the moon which makes things infinitely worse. Maybe thatâs your default look. You do always look so pretty.
You open your mouth to say something but he beats you to it.
âNo, wait, I can do this.â He sits up a little straighter, like the posture alone will save him. "I just need one second because I know what I want to say, I do, itâs just every time I look at you, I forget how words work. Which is honestly humiliating and I probably shouldnât have said that, so if you could stop beingâstop looking at me likeâŚâ
âLike?â
You have to be messing with him at this point.
âJustâcan I say something mean?â
You huff, pulling back a little. âWhat the fuck?â
âI justâI feel like I could fight with you for hours over stupid lab questions, and I always know exactly what to say then, but nowââ He shakes his head, cheeks hot. âNow I canât even get through one sentence. So maybe if I just say something mean like I always do, I'llââ
You place a hand on his arm. âDon't ruin this. Iâm not rushing you. You can take your time.â
His body stiffens under your touch, fingers tightening around the wire in his lap. He loosens them forcefully only to tighten them again.
âI think,â he starts, then winces. âNo, I know that when Iâm with you, everything just feels different. Like, way better. I like being around you, I like hearing you talk even when youâre telling me Iâm annoying, which you do a lot, by the way. I like when you laugh at me and when you give me that look on your face right before you say something mean because you look like you want to kill me and thatâsâsomething I probably deserve.â His mouth twitches despite himself. "I like walking you home. and I like when you ask me things you couldâve easily googled just because you know I'll know the answer.â
Thereâs a small smile on your face as you lean in again, hanging off his every word.
âAnd Iââ he stumbles over the word, heart pounding in his chest. "I th-think, maybe, what Iâm trying to say is that Iââ
He cuts himself off with a frustrated exhale, pressing the heel of his hand against his forehead. âJesus Christ."
A laugh slips out of you and he blushes.
âDon't laugh,â he says, mortified.
âIâm not laughing at you.â
âYou're definitely laughing at me.â
âOkay, but only a little.â You smile wide. âBut didnât you say you like that about me?â
He groans, covering his face with his hands. âThat wasnât originally in the script.â
âSatoru.â
Thereâs something in the way you say his name that makes him look up again at once. Youâre close now, pretty face taking up his field of vision, and he hadnât even realised youâd moved closer. Or maybe heâs the one who did, unable to resist your gravity.
Your gaze drops to his mouth and then lifts again, and the world seems to narrow until it is only this bench, this sunlit patch of afternoon, the space between you shrinking into something fragile and unbearable.
He tries once more, because he has to, because if he doesnât say it now he never will.
"I want to kiss you,â he blurts, the words tumbling out, crooked and breathless. "I really, really want to kiss you, and iâve been trying not to notice for a while now because I wasnât sure if I can and I wasnât sure if youâif you maybeâand I know this is probably not the smoothest way to say this but I justââ
Wait a minute, did he end up saying âI like youâ or did he just out that heâs been staring at your lips for the past five minutes now?
It doesnât seem to matter because you lean forward and kiss him.
There's no great sweep of music, no fireworks, no impossible cinematic pan out encapsulating the sun. Just you, leaning in as if it is the most natural thing in the world, one hand coming up to cup the side of his face, your lips soft against his.
Gojo stops thinking immediately.
His whole body goes rigid for one stunned second before every thought in his buzzing head simply dissipates. Heat floods him all at once, sharp and dizzying, all the way up to the tips of his ears. He's only vaguely aware that heâs stopped breathing and that his eyes are open, and that he has absolutely no clue what to do with his hands.
When you pull back, only just, your thumb brushes over his cheekbone.
He stares at you.
You stare back, mouth curving into a shy smile that nearly kills him where he sits.
âSure,â you say. âYou can kiss me.â
He opens his mouth but nothing comes out. His face must be bright red by now because your smile grows, softer and softer, and God, if he could bottle this moment and live inside it forever, he would.
âYou kissed me,â he says at last, intelligent as always.
"I did.â
âOn purpose?â
You laugh, and he thinks he might pass out. Oh yeah, he really does like it when you laugh at him. âNo Satoru, by accident.â
He makes a strangled noise somewhere between disbelief and delight. He can feel the heat of his face, knows he probably looks ridiculous, but for once he cannot bring himself to care, not even a little. All he can do is look at you with his heart in his throat and try, with limited success, to remember how these things should go.
âOh,â he says.
Your brows pinch together in a fond little crease. âOh?â
âSorry, Iâm still stuck on the part where you kissed me.â
âDo you need me to do it again?â you offer, smiling. âThough first, I think thereâs something you still need to tell me. Want to give it another try?â
Before he can answer, before he can even begin to think of an answer that wouldnât make him sound completely insane, his phone vibrates sharply in his pocket.
The sound cuts through the moment like a blade. He freezes, recognising the sound from one of two phones he always carries with him. It continues to vibrate, and thereâs only one thing he can think of as his stomach drops.
No.
Not now.
You glance down toward the noise. âYou should probably get that. It sounds urgent.â
He nearly says no, nearly ignores it completely. But the device buzzes again, more insistently this time, and cold dread starts threading through the remains of his daze. He fumbles for it with clumsy fingers still not entirely his own, and glances down at the screen.
suguru: venom sighing @ west park
or one of his goons
get over there
All the colour drains and for one awful second, he just stares until the phone turns black and reflects his distraught expression back at him.
Youâre watching him now, the softness in your expression touched through with concern. âEverything okay, Satoru?â
He forces a laugh that sounds thin even to his own ears. âEverything's fine, I justâŚâ his mind scrambles wildly for something plausible, something ordinary, something that wonât make you look at him any closer than you already are and find the gaps in his lies. "Itâs Suguru. He needs me.â
That at least is believable. Suguru has needed him for stupider reasons.
âRight now?â
Guilt crashes through him so hard it almost makes him dizzy. Because your lips are still pink from kissing him, because he hasnât even had a chance to kiss you back properly, because this is the moment heâs wanted for so long and now itâs slipping through his fingers before he can hold onto it.
But people will get hurt if he doesnât go.
âYeah,â he says, quieter now. âIâm sorry.â
âHey.â Your hand finds him again. âItâs okay.â
It is absolutely not okay. Still, he nods.
âI justââ He swallows. âCan IâŚcan weâŚâ
You smile, though he wonders if itâs truly genuine. âYes, idiot. We can talk later. Only if you promise to call me tonight.â
âI will,â heâs quick to say. âI promise.â
He stands too quickly and nearly tangles himself in his own headphone wire. You hide your laugh behind your hand and he feels a fresh wave of heat climb up his neck.
âSmooth,â you quip.
âBe nice to me,â he mutters, trying and failing to sound offended.
You stand too, close enough that he can smell your perfume, can see the tiny details of your face that heâs spent far too much time pretending not to memorise. Now that heâs up, now that heâs about to leave, it feels close to impossible, almost absurd like every part of him is pulled to you.
âGo,â you say softly. âBefore Suguru gets himself in a mess.â
He huffs out a breath. Then, because heâs greedy and because youâve ruined him since a few minutes ago, he leans down and presses the quickest, clumsiest kiss to your cheek. It's barely there, gone almost as soon as it lands, but the look on your face after makes his heart stutter all over again.
âIâll definitely call you tonight. Please wait for me.â
Gojo backs away before he can embarrass himself further or worse, before he changes his mind and decides the rest of the world can burn for ten more minutes. He wants to do something stupid like run back and kiss you properly this time like all the good movies do, but his phone feels heavy in his pocket, dragging him back to the version of himself you still donât know.
But even as urgency takes over, even as the river current catches him by the ribs and yanks, there is one bright impossible thing lodged firmly in his chest.
You kissed him.
You kissed him.
And for the first time in a long time, Gojo thinks maybe he doesnât mind being swept away at all.
Like a girl experiencing the lows of a situationship, your phone remains mercilessly silent the entire night. Itâs the first thing you check the moment your eyes open to a new day, reaching over to check your notifications. Outlook emails, reddit notifications, and nothing from the only person you want to hear from.
Thatâs fine, maybe the issue with Geto ended up being more serious than you initially assumed. Maybe he got caught up with a family emergency and passed out the second he got home. Maybe his phone died, or maybe heâd been too busy to send anything more than a mental apology into the universe and hope it reached you by divine. That is to say, you hear nothing from him all night.
None of these excuses stop the ugly little feeling from settling in your chest.
Your hand closes over your phone, open to your messages with him and embarrassingly showcases or last text to him left on delivered. For a moment, you wonder if the situation is appropriate enough to double triple text considering heâs already ignored your other texts, but eventually settle on nothing because no, actually, he can make the first move for once in his life. He had been the one stammering through half a confession, the one looking at you like you all devote and in awe while you only stared back mildly concerned he was going to burst a blood vessel, the one to kiss your cheek and promised to call all sweet-like. If he wants to disappear after that, then he can deal with the consequences without your help.
The presentation goes just as well as you thought it would considering youâre running on an accumulated two hours of sleep and youâre missing a partner. Considering the assessment is a pair presentation, that seems pretty bad.
You do your section first, voice steadier than you feel, though when you reach the point where heâs supposed to take over, there is a split second where your whole mind goes blank. Humiliation flashes through you hot and clean because this was meant to be the two of you and everyone can see it is not. Because beneath the frustration and embarrassment, there is something much worse curling inside you now.
When you finish, the tutor thanks you with a sympathy that makes your skin crawl.
As you hurry out of the lab, every sensation is suddenly all too much. the feeling of your tote under your arm, the clacking of your shoes against the floor, the bustle of students all around and you groan when you see just how many other people are leaving the building. Your pace slows against your wishes as you attempt to weave the crowd.
He didnât show up.
You bite your lip, hard.
He didnât show up.
You glance down at your phone and swipe. No new notifications.
He didnât show up.
All that talk had been nothing. He never took you seriously at all. Something akin to betrayal fills your chest and you wonder if youâre really going to start crying over a boy who has a digimon keychain on his bag. Said it gave him personality, said it was something like a photo of loved ones glanced at during a war. It's stupid, youâre stupid, you think, because how could you seriously think something new was budding there, that something was actually happening?
A hand catches your wrist in the crowd and tugs you hard to the side. You gasp as your shoulder brushes someone on the way past, the ground shifting under you before youâre pulled into the narrow strip of wall between two noticeboards and a vending machine.
âWait!â
You wrench your arm back on instinct, breath already halfway to a sharp insult, only for it to die the second you look up.
Gojo stands in front of you, chest rising and falling too fast like he ran all the way here. His hair is a mess, his glasses slightly crooked, and thereâs a stiffness to his movements. not that you care, not after this.
âAm Iââ
âYouâre late,â you blurt, all venom and wounded pride. âActually, youâre absent because late implies you cared to show at all.â
His expression crumbles. âI know.â
âDo you?â
âYes,â he swallows, voice rough. âI know.â
âThen what are we doing here?â
People move around you on both sides, students flowing past in little groups, too absorbed in their own conversations to notice how your whole world has narrowed down to this one stupidly tall boy standing in front of you like he hasnât just ripped out your heart and stomped all over it.
âSomething came up,â he says. âI couldnât help it.â
You laugh, ugly and tired. âThatâs crazy because something came up for me too. Does the presentation ring any bells?â
His jaw tightens. âIâm serious, something did come up otherwise I would have been here. Look, I know how this looks but my phone broke.â
The excuse lands heavy in the silence that follows. You stare at him incredulously. Was he really giving you that excuse right now? You start to turn around from his bullshit, not trusting yourself to speak, but he reaches out and holds you there by the wrist.
âI know how it sounds, trust me, I wouldnât believe you either If I were youââ
âYouâre right, I donât believe you.â
âThat's not fair,â he says, desperate.
You take a step back, but the wall is there and the crowd is there and he is still there, looking at you with that same helpless expression from yesterday like he can plead his way back into your good graces. âYou dropped your phone? What else did you drop, your common sense? Your sense of responsibility?â
âCome on, thatâs not fair. Youâre not even letting me apologise.â
âYou donât have a choice,â you snap back. You take a deep breath to reset your thoughts, exhaling out any emotion leaving your voice empty. âLook, I get it. We didn't start off on the same side and maybe you never really stopped feeling that way, even when I thought we were friends.
âY/Nââ
âMaybe it was my mistake for ever thinking that. So Iâm sorry Iâm so gullible.â Once you start, you find the words rushing out without much thought. Briefly, a small voice wonders if youâre really going to crash out like this in the middle of the busy science building, but oh well. Thereâs a twisted kind of satisfaction when you watch his face crumble. âI almost believed you really cared about whatever the fuck was happening between us, friendship orâwhatever the hell it was. If this was revenge for everything thatâs happened before, then youâre a real piece of shit, Satoru.â
âI said I was sorry.â
âAnd Iâm supposed to do what with that exactly?â
âBelieve me.â
You scoff. âWhy should I?â
His eyes widen a fraction and you press on.
âSeriously, why? You say things and you disappear and every time something important is about to happen, you leave. You act like I matter and then the second I start to believe it, youâre gone again. So why should I believe you now?â
âBecause Iâm here now,â he says, sharper than before.
You laugh. âNow. Youâre here now.â
âI came as fast as I could.â
âAnd I was supposed to know that how?â
His nostrils flare. âWhat do you want me to say?â
âWell, what am I supposed to think?â you demand. âBecause right now it kind of looks like you freaked out after yesterday and decided avoiding me was easier. So it's fine. I see now that you donât care about anything that was happening between us so, whatever. I donât care either.â
âThat's not true.â Gojo forces out through clenched teeth. his face tightens and for a second, he looks angry too, and the sight of it sends a mean little thrill through your chest because good. Good. Let him feel bad. âI do care.â
âBut not enough to show up to the day of the presentation?â You make noise of disbelief. âNot showing up doesnât even have anything to do with us, itâs just common sense if you care about your grades like I know you do!â
âExactly, so do you really think I wanted to miss out? Obviously I didnât want to miss out on 20% too!â
You canât help it, you feel petty and latch onto his words. âOh, so thatâs your biggest concern after all, huh?â
âDon't twist my words, you brought it up first.â He runs his free hand through his hair. âWhat are we even⌠look, I didnât want to make you present by yourself. Something just genuinely came up.â
You find a small part of yourself believing him. âWhat came up? a family emergency?â
He doesn't say anything. You laugh. Nothing about this is funny. You feel like youâre losing your mind. âOkay. Sure. Something came up. You definitely didnât do this to piss me off.â
He groans. âNot everything is about you.â
The silence after is immediate and total. His eyes widen almost at once, horror flashing across his face like he can hear himself only after the words are already out in the world.
He takes half a step forward. âWaitââ
âOkay, great.â
âI didnât mean to say that.â
âNo?â Your laugh comes out thin and shaky. âBecause it sounded pretty clear to me.â
âY/N.â
âIâm not making this about me, Satoru. You made it about me the second you promised something and then disappeared.â Your voice catches, but you force it steady again. âAll I did was believe you.â
He steps forward again, hand circling your wrist. You move to pull away but when you look up, you freeze.
He looks awful up close. Paler than usual, lips chapped, a faint shadow purpling the skin just above the collar of his shirt where fabric has shifted just enough to expose it. His hand on your wrist is warm, too warm, and his fingers are shaking.
A smarter, calmer version of you would ask why. This version however, only notices that he still wonât answer.
âWhat?â you ask, because your voice has to be empty or you will break. âWhat exactly do you want from me?â
He stares at you like the answer should be obvious.
âTime,â he says at last. âJust give me more time.â
For one beat, two, you canât even process his words. Then something hot and sharp tears through your chest.
âYou cannot be serious. more time?â you repeat disbelief making the words go thin. âYou say you care, you say you were trying, and then when I ask for one actual answer you tell me to wait. Again. Gonna tell me youâll tell me later again too?â
âJust listen to me for a second.â
âNo.â You take a shaky breath and it does nothing to steady you. âNo, I am so tired, Satoru. I am tired of feeling stupid around you, I always have. Iâm tired of guessing and Iâm tired of every conversation with you ending like this, with me standing here waiting for you to stop looking at me like thereâs something youâre dying to say but you wonât say it.â
âThat's not what this is.â
âThen tell me what it is!â
âI canât!â
The outburst turns heads this time and people slow as they pass. He notices a second too late and drags a hand over his face, breathing hard. When he speaks again, his voice drops, but it is no less intense for it.
âI canât,â he repeats. âNot here. Not like this.â
You press your lips together. âThen maybe whatever this is isnât worth it.â
The words shatter the conversation. You donât mean them and you know you donât mean them the second they leave your mouth. But youâre too proud, too hurt, to take them back and Gojo has gone still.
You watch the moment it lands, watch him stop moving altogether, even to breathe. His mouth parts then closes, and he looks at you like he doesnât recognise you for half a second, the sight making regret flash hot and immediate through your body.
âSatoruââ
A ringtone cuts through the air and you both freeze.
The sound of the ringtone is so familiar by now, a haunting melody that signals the end of almost every conversation youâve had with him. Your eyes follow the sound to his pocket.
He told you his phone broke. Something in you just gives.
You scoff at first, then laughter quickly follows. His face falls and he knows heâs lost you even before you shake his hold off, stepping back and looking away.
His hand moves toward his pocket and stops. âOkay, I know this is really bad but please just wait.ââEnough, Satoru. I donât know why youâre even making this that big of a deal,â you choke out, crossing your arms over your chest like itâll succeed in placing something stronger than your self-restraint between the two of you. âThe project is over whether you cared to show up or not.â
He flinches and you can practically see him split in two, body angled toward you while something else keeps him from moving. His jaw is tight, hand flexing uselessly at his side, eyes on yours like heâs trying to hold the moment together through sheer force.
âListen to meââ
âI need to get home,â you say.
He steps forward. âIâll walk you to the station.â
You actually laugh and when you speak, you hate how tired you sound, how flat. âWhy would you do that? I said the project is over, Gojo. And so is any reason for us to talk.
Gojo stiffens, arm falling slack to his side.
For a second, you think he might stop you or say something more. Instead, he just stands there, the phone finally gone silent in his pocket, his face stricken and too pale beneath the fluorescent lights.
You make it out of the building with your hands clenched and your mouth pressed into a thin line. The walk to the bus stop feels unreal, like moving through water. By the time you get there, your phone buzzes once and your heart lurches so hard it hurts.
shoko: u okay???
That bastard probably texted her about the situation. Of course he did. Somehow he could make time for that, but not for you. Something bitter and awful curls in your stomach.
You type back: âof course!!!!!!â because lying is contagious apparently, and add enough exclamation marks to make it look convincing before shoving your phone into your bag and sitting down when the bus pulls up to the curb.
The doors fold close and still, stupidly, some part of you looks up expecting him to be there.
Gojo should have known the two of you wouldnât talk after the argument.
There are no late-night calls anymore, no accidental lingering in the same space, no easy back-and-forth that used to slip so naturally between you, no watching you from the corner of his eye when he thinks you arenât paying attention. The silence that settles in the space left behind is slow and heavy and Gojo feels like heâs drowning.
He tells himself itâs for the best. Maybe he flew too close to the sun and now heâs melting and falling and nothing, not his spider instincts nor his web, can catch him. Youâre simply too radiant and too civilian for someone of his status quo.
But then if that was true, why does it get under his skin every time he sees you with Suguru, laughing together somewhere on campus? Why does something in him still ache whenever he comes across a tweet he knows would make you laugh, only to remember youâve blocked him? And why canât he stop thinking about how easy it used to be between you, back when you looked at him like he was someone worth knowing, before everything got so complicated?
And if he truly believed having you is as impossible as it seemed, then why was he following you back home?
Spiderman shakes his head, wishing he didnât have this restrictive masks on so he could run a hand through his hair and shake out his thoughts. Because he doesnât have any ulterior motives as he follows close behind, rooftop to rooftop, as you make your way back from campus, no matter how sinister it sounds. No, heâs simply making sure a kind, helpless civilian gets home safe now that the sun has set and night creeps in.
After all, youâre walking alone with your hands buried deep in your pockets and your shoulders curled in against the cold. He catches the slight shiver that runs through you, the quiet sneeze you try to stifle, the irritated little kick you give a loose rock after it nearly sent you stumbling. You look tired, closed off in a way he isnât used to, and it hurts him to believe it might be his fault.
âThis is stupid,â he reasons. âI look like a creep.â
Despite the truth of his words, he lingers above you anyway, haunted by the contrast of it all, the way you once smiled at him so easily, the way your face fell when he disappointed you, the softness of your voice when you left him. You look at Spiderman with a warmth and openness you no longer spare Gojo, and he hates how selfishly relieved he is to get even that much.
Fine. If you wonât have him as Gojo, heâll take being Spiderman.Â
Spiderman drops down in front of you in one smooth motion, feet hitting the pavement with a soft thud. âHeyââ
You move instantly, lunging forward to grab the back of his neck, other hand on his tricep, and hook your leg behind one of his. He blinks, standing upright one moment, before you pull his leg out from under him and heâs flipped onto his back on the ground.Â
Your face softens as you look down at your perpetrator. âWhat theâSpiderman?â
You quickly let go and step back before realising you should at least help him up. He takes your hand, standing up and rubbing his shoulder.Â
Kind and helpless civilian, my ass.Â
âAre you okay?â you fuss, hands hovering uncertainly. âI mean, that was kind of your fault for scaring me though. But are you okay? Seriously, donât do that ever again you could get hurt. But are you hurt?â
He winces, rolling his shoulder once more before chuckling. âThere goes any worries I might have had about you.â
âWhat are you doing here? Donât you have a city to save?â
Spiderman drops his hands to his side. âItâs strange because it sounds like you donât want me to be here.â
âIt took you this long to realise?â you tease with a smile.Â
âActually,â he says, quieter now, âI wanted to thank you.â
That catches you off guard enough to still. âFor what?âÂ
âFor all the help recently.â He lifts one shoulder in a careless half-shrug, but thereâs something more deliberate under it, something oddly sincere. âI donât usually do sidekicks. They steal all my thunder, and everybody knows the side characters end up more popular than the lead anyway. Bad for morale. But you came pretty close.â
âThat wasâŚâ You blink. âAlmost nice. Thanks?âÂ
âDonât get used to it. I have a reputation to maintain.â
âIs that what this is?â you ask. âA gratitude tour?â
âGod, no. I do enough free labour as it is.â He watches you laugh for a moment, eyes softening behind his mask before he says, âSo. Are you free right now?â
You narrow your eyes immediately. âIs this another deeply scientific survey on how normal civilians spend their evenings? Because your sample size is getting weirdly specific.â
He huffs a laugh and rocks back on his heels. âNot exactly. Although for the record, your data has been invaluable. Very compelling stuff. Lots of sarcasm. Mild threat level. Surprisingly strong upper body.â
âFlattery is not going to save you here.â You study him for a second. âWhat do you mean, then?â
He gestures vaguely down the street, then up at the skyline like he hasnât fully committed to the idea himself. âI mean⌠you look like youâve had a rough week, and Iâve had a rough week, and I thought maybe we could do something that doesnât involve property damage or mutual yelling.â
You raise an eyebrow. âGeez, that narrows it down a little, doesnât it?â
âIâm being serious.â
The joking edge in his voice softens into something a little more fragile and when you look at him more carefully, at the mask, at the battered suit, at the way heâs trying to sound casual about something he clearly thought through before showing up, you feel something warm blossom in your chest.Â
âAnd what,â you ask slowly, âdoes Spiderman do when heâs not concussed?â
He spreads his hands. âTonight? He was hoping to take a very pretty girl on a low-budget date.âÂ
You stare at him stunned before laughing softly, looking away before flickering your gaze back. âI bet you only say stuff like that behind the mask.â
âThat was smooth, you can be honest.â He grins behind the mask, you can hear it in the shape of his voice. âBut that complaint doesnât exactly sound like a no.âÂ
You look away again, toward the empty stretch of pavement ahead, the city washed in evening light and the first hints of neon waking up around you. You think of the hollow room waiting at the end of this street, your cold sheets and tear-stained pillow, and then of how light you suddenly feel standing here with him. It is not enough to erase everything, but it is enough to loosen something in your chest that has been wound painfully tight for days.
When you look back at him, youâre smiling despite yourself. âIâm free.â
âGreat,â he says immediately, a little too fast, then reins himself back in. âGreat. Cool. Cool, cool, cool. You said yes. Thatâs good, thatâs great, even.âÂ
You snort. âSo where are we going?â
He steps closer, lowering his voice like heâs about to let you in on a secret. âThat depends. Are you going to scream if I say I had something less walkable in mind?â
It takes a second for the meaning to land, and when it does you gesture sharply upward. âPlease donât tell me youâre slinging me up there again. Thatâs happened to me twice now and neither of those experiences were fun.â
âI wouldnât sling you,â he says, offended. âThat sounds so careless and crass. Iâd hold you very, very securely. In my arms, even.âÂ
âCan you even hold me? I just flipped you onto your back.âÂ
He laughs, then offers you his hand, gloved palm open between you. âCome on, just one swing. Iâll take it slow this time.â
You eye his hand, then his mask, then back to his hand. âYou didnât take it slow last time.â
âIn my defence, we were under attack by sentient goo both times. Be gentle with me.âÂ
You hesitate before gently placing your hand in his. âFine. But if I die, Iâll come back as a supervillain and haunt you specifically.âÂ
His fingers curl around yours, warm even through the suit.Â
âNo promises.â
Before you can second-guess yourself, he steps in, one arm sliding around your waist with practiced ease. The closeness knocks the breath from your lungs more effectively than the sudden lift when his feet leave the ground. You make a sharp noise and grab at his shoulders.Â
âThere it is,â he says, voice bright with delight and close to your ear. âThatâs the exact reaction I was hoping for. My masculinity is doing just great, by the way.â
âDo not make this about you,â you snap, though the words come out thinner than intended.
âBit hard not to,â he says lightly. âYou are, technically, in my arms.â
His web catches somewhere high above with a sharp thwip and you only have a moment to gasp out the beginnings of a final protest before the pavement drops away beneath you.Â
The city opens under you in one dizzying rush, all glowing traffic and dark rooftops and windows lit gold against the deepening blue of the evening. Your stomach lurches so violently youâre certain it gets left behind somewhere around the second floor of the nearest building, and your grip on his shoulders tightens with enough force to probably leave bruises through his suit.Â
âOh my God,â you choke out, voice snatched by the wind. âOh my God, Iâm flying. Oh my God, this is how I die.âÂ
He laughs, shameless and much too pleased with himself for someone who is holding your life in his hands. âThatâs a little grim. If youâd only open your eyes, youâd see how beautiful it is.âÂ
âOpen my eyes?â you repeat, incredulously. âSpiderman, my eyes will dry out and roll out of my head!â
His hold shifts just slightly, firmer at your waist as he catches another web and swings you both into a smoother arc. âTrust me,â he says, quieter this time, the teasing still there but softened around the edges. âJust for a second. Look.â
You crack your eyes open in narrow slits, and for one disorienting beat all you can really see is himâmask blurred at the edges, the line of his jaw beneath it, the hood rippling back with the force of the wind. Then your gaze drifts past him, out and down and everywhere at once.
Below, the harbour stretches out, black-blue and endless, broken only by the ribbons of reflected light from the bridge and the waterfront. Boasts sit like small, blinking stars, bobbing in the gentle waves, and the skyline curves around the edge of the bay, glittering and frankly unreal.Â
âThere,â he says, gentler now. âThatâs better. I told you Iâd take it easy this time.â
âYou said a lot of things,â you mutter, though some of the panic has begun to leak out of your voice replaced by quiet awe. âMost of them were stupid.â
âYeah, but were they charming stupid or just regular stupid?â
That manages to pull a short, unwilling laugh out of you, the gesture tipping your head back to look at the sky. The first stars are visible now, faint but there, and above them the clouds are smeared thin and silver. Then you look down at the water again, at how impossibly far below it is, and somehow that distance no longer terrifies you quite as much.
The water below catches the lights in broken gold, and he swings you through another perfect arc, close enough now that you can hear the faint slap of waves against the pylons. The city around you glitters as the sky deepens. His arm around your waist stays firm and sure, and with every swing your fear ebbs a little more, making room for something warm and foreign.Â
He must feel the change in you because after a moment, he turns his head just enough for his voice to reach you clearly.Â
âOkay,â he says. âNow that you trust me a little more, let me take you somewhere.âÂ
You lift your head to look at him. âSomewhere? I thought this was the date.âÂ
âThis is the foreplay.âÂ
You grimace, wishing you werenât being held hostage miles above deep water to pull back. âAnd just like that, Iâm dry.âÂ
He laughs, the sound warm and easy. âBut your complaining has finally stopped so Iâd take that as a win. And for the record, I meant thereâs more I still want to show you. Iâm not blowing my entire budget on just one dramatic entrance.â
The next arc carries you around the edge of a low building, and then the shape of it begins to emerge properly. The amusement park stretches out in front of you, lights flickering on as dusk settles fully. The ferris wheel looms overhead, its metal frame catching the last of the sunset, and with most of the rides closed, the whole place feels strangely eerie in its emptiness. But then the water catches the light in soft ripples, the sky deepens into indigo, the first stars begin to blink into view, and it becomes something quietly beautiful.Â
Spiderman watches you from the side, the light from the nearest streetlights in your eyes. His body is uncharacteristically still, mask tilted toward you.Â
âWoah,â you breathe out at last.Â
His shoulders relax just a fraction.Â
âYeah,â he says softly. âThought you might like it. And look, I reserved the entire place out for you. Itâs all yours for the entire night.â
âThatâs because itâs closed.âÂ
He grins and holds out his hand. âCome on. I know a way for you to get a view of the city high up and without your eyeballs drying out on you. Iâm trying to be accommodating now that I know youâre apparently very fragile about flying.â
âAs any normal person would, I fear.âÂ
You eye his outstretched hand and then at the pier around you. The place feels suspended in time, the shuttered stalls, the way the lights glow without the usual crowds to dull them.Â
âYouâre very confident for someone who almost got flipped onto concrete five minutes ago,â you say, but take his hand anyway.Â
âWhat can I say?â he shrugs, fingers warm as he interlaces them. âI trust you not to do it again. Weâre close like that, right? But seriously, can we stop bringing that up? Itâs a sensitive topic for me.âÂ
He leads you past a locked gate, showing off his lockpicking skills which prompts a raised brow and not the fawning he had initially expected, then to another gate to which you just had to look away from while he broke in. You walk beside him until heâs standing beneath the ferris wheel, metal bones creaking softly.Â
Spiderman glances up then looks back down at you, holding out his hand in a flourish.Â
âMy lady,â he says, dipping his head. âWould you care to have a go?âÂ
âReal original,â you say but donât protest when he guides you into one of the empty carriages.Â
It sways slightly as you settle in, the door closing with a soft sound. Then the wheel jerks once, twice, then starts moving ever so slowly. Your breath catches as the ground drifts away, the pier shrinking beneath, lights blurring into a soft constellation of their own. Thereâs no rush like when you were swinging, just a gentle, steady climb lifting you above the city skyline.
You lean forward, hands gripping the edge of the carriage as the city opens up before you. It stretches out endlessly, lights scattered like spilled glitter, the dark water reflecting everything through a dreamy haze.Â
âIs this what you see everyday?â you ask.Â
Spiderman hums, relaxing into the seat opposite you âMaybe something close adjacent.â
âWell itâs gorgeous. I canât believe I forgot how freeing it feels to go to amusement parks. Thereâs just something about being so high up, you know? But I guess I donât need to be telling you that.âÂ
âEnamoured already? We havenât even reached the top yet.â He stares at you for a moment. âOkay, pop quiz. Which do you like better, the ferris wheel or the swinging?âÂ
âDefinitely the ferris wheel.â
âThat hurts.â
You glance back at him over your shoulder to shoot him a cheeky grin. âWhy are you sitting on the other side? Is the view better over there?â
He tilts his head and looks at you for a beat too long. âYeah,â he says at last. âItâs pretty.â
He doesnât pull his gaze away from you and it takes a second for the words to land properly, and another second for the warmth in your face to catch up with them. You laugh softly, more because you need somewhere to put the sudden nervousness than because itâs especially funny.
âYouâre really pulling out all the stops today, arenât you?â Your gaze flicker from the view back to him. âIs this something you do with all the civilians you save? Iâd hate to embarrass myself by thinking Iâm special.âÂ
âWould you compliment me back if I said it was just you?âÂ
âMaybe. Are you telling the truth?âÂ
âYes.â He turns his body slightly so he can rest his elbow on the back of the seat, unabashedly staring right at you. âItâs just you.â
The carriage creaks softly. The wheel keeps turning and somewhere below, music too faint to make out drifts from some unseen speaker, somewhat staticky and distant.Â
With nothing else to do, you laugh again, buying you some much needed time to figure out what to say next. âIf you needed a boost to your ego, you could have just said so. You didnât have to bring me to a half-abandoned amusement park and make me stare at the harbour to get it.â
âAnd the compliment?â
âI guess youâre not as annoying as I initially assumed you were.âÂ
âMy ego definitely does not need the help,â he says easily. âAnd what kind of compliment is that? Give me something a little more impersonal.â
âYouâre humble,â you observe with a good mannered snort.Â
âIt comes with the whole superhero thing.â He continues to watch you until he realises that this prolonged eye contact should come with some form of conversation.
Spiderman sits up a little, crossing one leg over the other. HIs ankle dangles and bumps into yours, a mere accident that makes you freeze so your body doesnât move away.
âHow have you been doing?â he asks, and the question comes out with an almost awkward plainness to it, stripped of the usual easy swagger. A second later he seems to hear himself and tries to recover, lifting one shoulder. âYou seem a little quieter than usual. Not that Iâve been paying attention or anything. I just have, you know, a lot of care for the citizens of this city.â
The ferris wheel creaks as it carries you both a little higher, the lights of the pier shifting below in soft, sleepy colours. He watches you for a beat too long, and you know the joke gave him cover, but not much. The question is still sitting there between you, small and strangely careful.
You glance at him. âThat was subtle. Really invisible work there.â
âThank you,â he says. âI pride myself on my restraint. I couldâve been much creepier about it.â
âIâm sure that was difficult for you.â
âIt was,â he says with a sigh. âYou have no idea how hard Iâm working right now to seem normal.â
You look back out over the water, the lights trembling across the surface. âIâve been fine. Thatâs the official answer.â
âI think Iâve earned myself the unofficial answer,â he says quietly.Â
You fold your arms loosely over your middle. âItâs ridiculously stupid. Like, who hangs out with a superhero and starts ranting about their situationship?â
He makes a little choked sound which makes you look over in concern. He quickly covers his mouth and waves you on. âSituationship? I didnât know it would have counted as a situationship.â
You frown because what exactly does he know about what âitâ is? âItâs 2026, everyoneâs idea of love is warped. If it doesnât have a label then people will just slap the word âsituationshipâ over it and pray for the best.â
âRight, right. Please continue.âÂ
âWell, there was someone. Obviously.â You stop and let out a sigh, slumping. âOr maybe there wasnât and I just made him into someone in my head. I canât really tell anymore, itâs all just so messy. I thought maybe there was something there, I thought that was what everything was building up towards and then⌠we had this argument and it was honestly embarrassing looking back at it and now we donât talk. So.âÂ
âDid you want there to be something?âÂ
Ignoring the fact that youâre having a love life talk with Spiderman, of all people, you answer honestly. âOf course. I wouldnât be this annoyed if I didnât.â
Spiderman lets his head knock against the window as he groans. âOkay. That makes sense. That makes a lot of sense. Of course you wanted something, of course.â
You glance sideways at him. âWhy do you sound like that?âÂ
âSecond-hand sorrow.â
âI think they call that empathy.â
âI just think,â he says, his voice a little rougher now, âit wouldâve been easier if youâd said no. Iâm only saying that because Iâm looking out for you, obviously. As a public servant.â
You snort despite yourself but the heaviness settles back in quickly enough. âIt would have been easier if he just kept being an asshole like when it all started. If heâd just kept being a dick, then fine, whatever, I could have lived with that if I never found out the kind of guy he is. But he wasn't, he ended up being kind. And funny. And actually decent and that really pisses me off. He made me hopeful and I think that might be the worst part.â
Spiderman goes very still across from you, shoulders pulling tighter and chin dipping just slightly so heâs staring a hole through the floor of the carriage. When he finally speaks, his voice has gone quieter.
âYeah,â he says. âThat does sound pretty bad. Especially if he knew what he was doing.â
You frown. âI donât even know if he did. I canât tell if he was just oblivious, or if he really did mean something by it but then freaked himself over nothing.â
âThatâs not better,â Spiderman retorts. âThat makes him sound very pathetic.â
You look at him properly now, the dim lights from below catching on the higher points of his face. âYouâre taking this really personally for someone who doesnât know him.â
He lets out a short laugh. âMaybe I just have strong opinions about men disappointing women. Somebody has to, the bar is in hell.â
You exhale a laugh through your nose. âExactly.â
The carriage gives a small creak as it keeps moving and for a few creaky moments, neither of you say anything. The quiet isnât awkward, and he hasnât said enough to put you in your thoughts, but itâs quiet anyway. Then Spiderman clears his throat and leans forward, elbow braced on his knees.
âOkay, Iâm going to say one more thing about it and then Iâm going to stop being so emotionally available. It feels a little off brand to what we have going on.â
You snort. âSure, go for it.â
âI think,â he starts carefully, âthat if someone made you feel seen and hopeful for more and then disappeared, youâre allowed to think heâs a jerk. You donât have to make excuses just because he also had some good qualities. Because being kind in some moments doesnât cancel out making you feel abandoned in others. But maybeâŚâ
He takes a breath. âDonât give up on him. Please.â
For some reason, the sincerity in his voice makes you pause.
Damn, so even superheroes experience situationships? Because he sounded really invested just then in a way that can only be explained as first-hand experience. You wonder what kind of person could break Spidermanâs heart like that.
âThanks for the love advice, Spiderman.â
He nods solemnly. âNo problem.â
And because the entire situation is simply too ridiculous to keep a straight face, you laugh. He smiles too, watching you for a moment before letting out his own laugh.
âThere you are,â he says. âI was wondering what other crimes Iâd have to commit tonight to fix the mood.â
âWeâre going to have to circle back and talk about the lockpicking eventually.â
âAs long as it isnât today.â
The carriage gives a gentler, longer groan as it continues descending. You let your head tip back against the seat and, almost absentmindedly, your eyes drift out toward the skyline again. You frown.
âOh.â
He looks out too. âThat sounded like a bad oh. What kind of oh was that?â
You look past him, past the window, toward the stretch of harbour and the city beyond. âI think we missed the top.â
He blinks. âWhat?â
âThe peak,â you say, sitting forward. âThe very top of the ferris wheel? We were talking and I didnât even notice weâd already gone over it.â
âOh wow, that guy is the worst. He stole your ferris wheel climax too.â
âIs it also part of your superhero job description to ruin every moment with some sexual innuendo?â
He lifts both hands. âOkay, fair, Iâm having a bad wording night. But this is hard on me okay? I arrange a beautiful nighttime ferris wheel, I listen supportively while you talk about another man, and still somehow Iâm the bad guy.â
âRight? How do you do it?â
The carriage is nearly at the bottom now. Below, the pier glows in soft strings of light and you feel a strange sense of finality when it shudders to a stop. Before you can maneuver around a âthanks for tonight, see you first thing in the morning!â, Spiderman leans forward.
âDonât look so ready to go just yet, thereâs still the aftercare part.â
You sigh but donât berate him. âThereâs still more? Someone save me.â
The carriage door clicks open with a soft metallic sound. He stands first and offers you his hand again, less theatrical this time, and more sincere.
âCome on,â he says, voice soft in the wind. âDonât go home yet. Stay with me a little longer, thatâs all Iâm asking. Let me be the part of tonight you remember better.â
You look at the hand heâs still holding half between you. Then, before you can overthink it, you slip your hand into his.
âBut only because Iâm curious what exactly counts as better.â
He turns his hand, catching yours properly, and something in your stomach flips at the gesture.
âGood,â he says, low and warm. âBecause Iâve been trying very hard all night not to ask too obviously.â
You lied before. Swinging is leaps and bounds better than sitting stationary in a small carriage inching along at a snailâs pace. Itâs exhilarating and freeing, and yes, your eyes still hurt when you open them too wide, but youâve figured out the perfect amount of squinting to keep them from tearing up. Instead, you whoop and cheer as he swings you in high arcs and dramatic drops, skimming close enough to the ground that you might believe the end of your life is waiting there, if not for your growing trust that Spiderman will always pull you back up.
Half your screams are still terror, though.
Spiderman isnât silent either. He laughs right into your ear when you cling to him tighter, praises you when you throw your head back and cheer, and points out his favourite places to sit and watch the sunrise. He complains that the cityâs architecture doesnât cater nearly enough to his swinging needs, as though that should have been a priority in urban planning. He carries you over a football stadium and you marvel at its size, the bright field below looking almost unreal from up here.
âThink you can handle a little more?â he murmurs against your ear.
High on adrenaline, you nod against his neck.
Then he drops you.
His arms slide out from under your knees and he quickly unwinds your hands from around his neck. One moment you are safe in his hold, and the next you are falling, a heavy body surrendered to gravity as the ground rushes up to meet you. Your scream could wake the whole city if it were not already awake.
You look up. The sky above is vast, endless, strewn with stars so beautiful they almost make you forget the terror roaring through you. The wind screams in your ears, your clothes snapping against your body, and somewhere inside the panic there is a strange, suspended calm that feels almost like freedom.
Just before the ground can meet your back, Spiderman swoops in from the side and catches you cleanly in his arms. The force of it steals another cry from you, but then he is already pulling you upward again, the momentum sweeping you into another great arc before gravity draws you back, over and over until the motion finally begins to slow.
For one suspended moment, the two of you dangle in the air, saved from certain death by nothing but the web shot from his wrists. Metres above the ground, your life held so easily in someone elseâs hands, you find that you feel no fear at all.
In fact, you are laughing.
It starts as a breathless, disbelieving sound, then spills into something uncontrollable, and he chuckles at first before his own laughter joins yours. You laugh until your lungs ache, until your face hurts, until all you can feel is the warmth of his breath against your cheek and the solid certainty of his arms around your back.
He makes no move to set you down or sling you back to safety. Instead, he only keeps you there, held against his chest, his masked face angled down toward yours. You want to believe he is looking at you the way you are looking at him, full of wonder and something even softer than that, but it is hard to be certain when his face is hidden.
Your laughter dwindles into one last helpless giggle as you peer up at him. âNice catch.â
Your gaze drops from the white of his eyes to the shape of the mask stretched over the bridge of his nose, the faint outline of his mouth beneath the fabric. There has not been a single moment in your strange, ridiculous friendship with Spiderman when you have been so curious about who he is under that mask.
âThanks,â he says, his voice warm and low. âI kind of do this for a living.â
You laugh softly, and he shivers when your breath mists against the fabric over his lips.
âDo you remember when you first saved me?â you ask.
âYes, I slammed into a bus stop and ruined it forever. I also remember telling you to never mention that again,â he says immediately.
You nod, fighting the urge to roll your eyes. âWe were so different back then. I almost thought you were shy the amount of times you ran away.â
He is quiet for just long enough to make your chest tighten. Then, softly, âPretty girls fluster me.â
You snort, but thereâs no hiding the warmth that spreads across your face, and for once you make no move to cover it. Let him see it. Let him know the effect he has on you, just how fiercely this thing burns within you, this aching desire to hold him close, to whisper his name and feel him shiver beneath your touch.
Slowly, as if afraid to snap the fragile thread of tension between you, you pull your hand away from your chest and trail it up the side of his neck, your touch feather-light.
You hear his breath catch. Feel it, too.
Your fingers drift higher until your palm cups his cheek through the mask. âI want to know who you are,â you say softly.
He flinches. âYou canât.â
âWhy not?â you ask, voice gentle. âYou donât trust me?â
âThatâs not it.â
âReally?â Your thumb brushes the edge of his jaw. âBecause I wouldâve accepted that as an answer.â
He goes oddly still. âWhat?â
Spidermanâs stunned silence makes you smile, and a quiet laugh slips out of you at how easy he is to read despite the mask. âWhatâs wrong? Iâve read the comics. Iâve seen the movies. I know what happens when the superhero reveals his identity.â You tip your head, eyes never leaving him. âSomething bad always follows. Itâs like punishment for their hubris. The main companion dies, or the hero has to choose between their lover and the world. It always ends in tragedy.â
He recovers quickly enough, his arms tightening around your waist as if instinctively holding you closer. âYou think I couldnât save both you and the world?â
You ignore the implications of his words, biting back a smile. âAnd that would be the hubris part.â
He scoffs, though the sound comes out a touch too strained to be convincing. âThatâs not why I canât tell you my identity, princess.â
âThen tell me why.â Your voice drops lower, soft as breath. âBecause right now it feels like youâre making up rules as you go.â
He hesitates. It is brief, but not brief enough.
âYou wouldnâtâŚâ He swallows. âYou wouldnât feel the same. It would change things. It would change whatever this is.â
You go quiet at that, mulling the words over. Then your hands drift from his neck to rest lightly against his chest, feeling the steady rise and fall beneath the suit.
Looking up at him, you hum. âDo I know you?â
Spiderman flinches again. âNo.â
You laugh softly at how bad he is at lying. âAlright. Are we friends?â
He doesnât react quite as strongly to that, which tells you enough to keep going.
âDo we not get along?â
âHold onââ
You immediately compose a mental list of all those who had once wronged you in some way. Some were easy to recall, their offences more recent like the cyclist that had rode past you one morning and knocked your coffee out of your hands leaving you confused and uncaffeinated for class, or your neighbour who is always throwing parties. Maybe itâs someone closer to you than that, like Naoya, or Toji, or Mei Mei, or that old lady that always comes in at 8am on a Thursday and routinely complains about her coffee not being hot enough. You frown at that last thought and Spiderman catches it, opening his mouth to stop you.
âAre you a student, orââ
He hisses loud enough to cut you off. âDonât guess. Donât you dare. If you have to know, itâll be because I told you, not because you stumbled into it by accident.â He pauses, then adds, more mutinously, âAnd I definitely donât need to hear who you think I am. Iâm sure you can imagine how terrible that might be for my ego.â
You tilt your head, amused. âI get that, but I was only going to ask ifââ
âNo.â
âBut Iââ
âI said no.â
âSpiderman.â Your tone sharpens just enough to shut him up. âI was going to ask if youâre that old lady who always demands her coffee be molten before I hand it over. You know, the one who acts like I personally invented workplace safety regulations.â
Spiderman doesnât say anything for a long while. âWhat?â
You laugh under your breath. âI definitely told you about her before. Orââ you pause, smiling to yourself, âtold you about you, maybe. The one who always comes through drive-thru.â
âPrincess,â he says dryly, âI am not sixty years old.â
âPerfect,â you reply. âThen Iâm sure I wouldnât otherwise care who you are.â
And then heâs laughing. It bursts out of him bright and helpless, so sudden and genuine that it makes something in your chest go warm and dizzy. His head tips back, the white lenses of the mask curving with the shape of his smile, and you have to bite the inside of your cheek to keep your own grin from widening too much. If he laughed in your face every day for the rest of your life, you think you might let him, if only to know that thisâhim, here, nowâis real.
Heâs talking again, you realise belatedly, his mask shifting with the movement of his mouth, but the words barely register. Youâre too busy watching the fabric stretch and crease, too aware of how close he is, how little separates you now.
Your fingers trail back up the side of his neck, and that silences him instantly.
Despite all his earlier objections, he stills completely when your hand settles there. Your thumb grazes the seam where mask meets suit, and you stop, glancing up at him.
âCan I?â
âYou canât,â he whispers, just as softly, though he doesnât move away. If anything, his hand only tightens on your waist.
âI wonât look, I promise.â Your thumb traces small circles against his neck, your gaze locked on his. âI just want to touch you.â
He shivers. You feel it run through him, sharp and involuntary.
He says your name in a low rumble, the sound almost enough to undo you on its own. âThis is a bad idea.â
âIf you tell me to stop, I will.â Looking down, you slip the tip of your finger beneath the narrow break between his bodysuit and the edge of his mask.
âMy arm is going to cramp,â he mutters weakly, and the attempt at humour only makes your smile deepen.
You begin to peel the mask back. Just a little at first, just enough to reveal the bare line of his neck and feel the tense muscle there. Your fingertips glide over the exposed skin, and his breath catches again, but he still doesnât stop you.
You wonder how far heâll let you go.
You lift the mask higher, over the line of his jaw, and your eyes snag there before they can help it. Then over his mouth, where you pause for the briefest second, struck silent by the sight of him, before leaving the fabric gathered just beneath his nose.
He tries for a smirk and you watch it form. âWas that all you wanted to see?â
You lean in slowly, stopping just short of him to gauge his reaction. When he doesnât move away, you close the distance until your nose brushes his.
âFor now,â you whisper.
His eyes search yours through the mask, and whatever he finds there makes his mouth flatten into something almost pained.
âIâm not going to do anything you donât want,â you murmur, and though you mean it, there is a terrible hollow ache opening in your chest now. Gojoâs face flashes uninvited through your mind and you shove it back, determined to bury it, though itâs clear enough from the way Spiderman goes tense that you havenât done nearly as good a job as youâd hoped.
You donât want to use him like this.
Over the past few months, Spiderman has become something steady in your life, a source of comfort in ways you never expected. Maybe it is because he has no face, no fixed place in your world, no history to complicate things. Maybe thatâs why you have been able to tell him things you canât even bring yourself to say to your friends.
And now you are asking him for something you cannot take back. Still, your fingers curl into the fabric of his suit.
âPlease.â
He moves before you can prepare for it, leaning in so suddenly your breath catches, your startled yelp cut off by the harsh press of his lips against yours.
For one disorienting second, all thought disappears. Then he kisses you again, harder this time, and your hand flies up to hold him there, fingers tangling against his neck as though you can keep the moment from slipping away. His mouth is warm and real and a little clumsy with restraint, like he wants more and is trying very hard not to take it. The hand at your waist tightens, enough to make your pulse jump.
And then he groans into the kiss, fierce and guttural before pulling away. The break leaves you both panting.
You donât speak at first but neither does he. You just stare at one another, lips swollen, breath unsteady, the last minute catching up all at once in a rush so overwhelming it feels almost unreal.You are already leaning in again before you fully register it, drawn by instinct more than thought, wanting to close the distance and do it all overâ
When suddenly gravity shifts.
You let out a startled scream as the ground drops from under you and you pitch forward into him. His arms close around you automatically, holding you flush against his chest as the city begins to move beneath you.
âWhat are youââ
âIâm taking you back,â he says, voice rough.
âWhat?â You twist, trying to look up at him, but he keeps you tucked in tight against him. âWait a minute!â
âIâm dropping you back at your dorm.â
âHold on a second!â
âI canât.â The words come out strained, almost frayed at the edges, and because his voice sounds like thatâbecause the kiss is still there between you, lingering like heatâyou let your protests falter.
The flight back is too quick. When he finally sets you down outside your dorm, your legs feel unsteady for more reasons than one. The second your feet hit the ground, your hands shoot to his arms, keeping hold so he canât just disappear again.
âYou didnât want it?â
He doesnât answer immediately, but with the mask still pushed halfway up, you see the way his jaw clenches.
The truth hits you all at once, sharp and humiliating and you find your lips, once pressed against him, now forming the sound of an apology. âIâm sorry it was bad.â
He makes a vague movement, like he wants to run a hand through his hair and has only just remembered the mask. âThatâs not it.â
âThen what is it?â The desperation in your voice makes you cringe the moment you hear it, but itâs too late to take back.
He looks at you for a long, silent moment, and when he finally speaks, his voice is unbearably soft.
âYou said it yourself, didnât you? Revealing my identity would only hurt you.â
Your grip on his arms tightens. âIâm fine with that. I donât need to know who you are. It doesnât matter.â The words rush out now, tripping over each other. âThe one Iââ You falter, heart hammering. âThe one I care about is you.â
Spiderman watches you wordlessly as you trip over your own tongue. Then, after a beat that feels much longer than it is, he says, âI never said it was your mistake.â
You inhale sharply and, before you can think better of it, lean in and steal a kiss from his lips. There isnât enough time to consider what the hell youâre doing because he answers immediately.
Whatever hesitation heâd been clinging to burns away the second your mouth meets his, seared off by heat and want and the unmistakable fact that this is really happening. This kiss is nothing like the last. It is harder, hungrier, and when his hand catches your wrist to pull you closer, it still doesnât feel like enough. A low groan tears from him into your mouth, impatient and wrecked, and then heâs biting lightly at your bottom lip as though restraint is already slipping through his fingers.
You gasp, and he takes the invitation immediately. His tongue sweeps into your mouth, coaxing every breathless sound from you until your whimpers are swallowed down by him. Still, it isnât enough. How could it be? Not when he finally has you in his arms like this after wanting you for so long, after all the distance and hurt and wrong timing. His body urges you back a step, then another, until your shoulders brush the wall and he follows, crowding you there.
His hands slide up your waist and back down again, settling hard at your hips, while the other cups your jaw to hold you steady for the fierce, dizzying press of his mouth. You cling to him like he is the only solid thing in the world, and maybe right now he is. Your knees have gone weak enough that you donât trust them to hold you without him.
A crash sounds somewhere in the alley below.
You jolt, teeth catching accidentally against his lip. He groans at the sting but pulls back, shooting the darkness beyond the window a withering glare like he could kill whatever interrupted him. You follow his line of sight, but nothing else happens. The alley settles back into stillness. After a second, he exhales and leans down until his forehead rests against yours.
âYou should probably check that out,â you murmur, more to break the thick, dizzy silence than out of any real conviction.
He hums, the sound warm against your skin. âThen why arenât you letting me go?â
Only then do you realise your fingers have curled tight into the front of his suit. They only tighten further, pathetic and needy in a way youâd usually hate, but his answering chuckle is filthy and starved enough to make warmth bloom through you.
âStay,â you whisper.
âOkay,â he says softly. âI wonât go.â
You shake your head and lift it just enough to meet the white gaze of his mask, your own eyes dropping to his mouth for the briefest second. âNo. Stay.â
He doesnât need to be told twice.
His hand slips from your cheek and a second later a web shoots from his wrist and catches on the frame of your third-floor window. His other arm locks around you and suddenly heâs lifting you with him.
Getting through the window is clumsy and breathless and far less graceful than the way he moves through the city. One of your shoes catches on the ledge, his shoulder bumps the frame, and you have to slap a hand over your mouth to stop yourself from laughing too loudly. It feels absurdly scandalous, sneaking through your own window like this, and the absurdity only makes it worse.
He climbs in first, then turns immediately and offers you his hand. You take it with less hesitation than before, and he guides you through carefully, steadying you the moment your feet touch the floor, and for a second he doesnât let go. He just keeps hold of you, standing close in the dimness of your room, eyes fixed on your face.
âAre you sure?â he asks.
You donât hesitate. âI wouldnât have kissed you if I wasnât.â
Something in him softens at that, though his voice stays low. âI still canât let you see me.â
You shake your head and close your eyes before your nerve can fail you. Your hands rise to the seam of his mask. âTrust me.â
And because he does, he lets you pull it away.
Truthfully, thereâs a moment where temptation almost gets the better of you. He's right there, close enough to touch, close enough that you can feel the warmth of his skin and the shape of his mouth. Youâre touching him, your tongue has been inside his mouth and now you know his taste intimately. All it would take is a moment of weakness and the opening of your eyes to finally know who has been under the mask this entire time. Just one peek, one action to end the curiosity. Still, you hold yourself back.
Donât ruin the moment.
A soft chuckle brushes your lips, his bare breath warm against them now that the mask is out of the way. You steady your hands against his chest and feel the frantic pound of his heart beneath your palms. He shivers at the contact.
He tries to be patient, he really does. Tries to make this moment careful, almost reverent, like you deserve. But Gojo is greedy. Heâs greedy for your attention, for the spark in your eyes to flare up the moment his eyes lock on yours, heâs greedy for your touch, the brushing of fingers when you pass him his coffee in the morning, for that smile that you only ever seem to give him when heâs Spiderman. He is greedy for this version of you, soft and wanting and close enough to ruin him.
His brow twitches, something cruel twisting in his stomach and he traces the seam of your lips with his tongue, pushing in even before you open your mouth to him.
His tongue finds yours again before he can stop himself, the kiss turning deeper, hungrier. He presses you back against the window, one hand bracing against the sill behind you so the edge doesnât dig into your spine while the other settles hard at your waist. He devours you completely, nothing tentative about him now. He kisses you like heâs starving as all his late night fantasies, your name on his tongue and his hand wrapped around his cock, become finally realised when he tastes you.
You lightly tap his arm, and he pulls back to let you breathe but his lips donât leave you for long.
âGod, I've wanted you for so long.â he nuzzles your neck, inhaling your scent deeply. His hardness presses against your thigh, leaving you with no doubts about his words. "I canât stop thinking about you, every time I close my eyes, youâre there. You're haunting me.â He continues to confess between heated kisses along your jawline.
The utter longing in his voice, the depraved desperation as he presses impossibly closer, hands wanting to trace up your side but to also push you up into him, the heat of his mouth against your pulse point, itâs all too much and you let out a whimper.
He groans softly against your skin, his restraint fraying even further at the noise.
âStop teasing me,â you gasp, tilting your head to give him more room and hating how needy you sound.
His answer is rough and low. "I canât help it.â
Deciding youâve had enough of him making you melt where you stand, you push at him instead. He lets himself be moved, following your blind guidance as you walk him backwards toward where you think your bed is. When the backs of his legs hit the mattress, he sits, and his fingers curl around your wrist to tug you closer between his knees.
Your hands find his face again, fumbling slightly as they trace bare skin for the first time. The line of his cheekbones, the bridge of his nose, the shape of a face you still refuse to see. He lets you explore him in silence, stilling beneath your touch in a way that feels almost unbearably intimate, pressing a kiss to your palm when your hand drifts closer to his mouth.
Your fingers linger on the warmth of his skin, tracing the soft curve of his lips before dipping lower, brushing against the sharp line of his jaw. He's so still under your touch, like he's afraid one wrong move will shatter this fragile moment, and it sends a thrill through youâthe power you hold, even blinded. With your eyes closed, it blocks out everything but sensation, heightening every graze of your fingertips, every hitch in his breath. You can feel the rapid thump of his pulse beneath your palm, matching the frantic beat of your own heart.
He tilts his head slightly, nuzzling into your hand like a dog seeking affection, and the vulnerability in that small gesture makes your chest tighten. This masked hero, the one who swings through the city saving lives, is reduced to thisâpanting softly, body tense with barely contained need. It's intoxicating, knowing you can unravel him like this.
âYou're killing me,â he murmurs, voice rough and low, laced with that desperate edge that makes your core clench. His hands slide up your thighs, thumbs pressing into the soft flesh just below the hem of your skirt, not pushing further but holding you there, grounding himself. âPlease donât stop here, touch me more.â
Your finger grazes his boner through the tight fabric of his suit and he hisses, bowing inward.
âShit!â
You pause. âA thought has occurred.â
He lets out a long suffering sigh. âPlease donât ruin the mood.â
You laugh softly, dragging your nails over his erection over and over, drinking in every flinch you feel from where youâre pressed against him. âI canât help you if youâre still in this⌠spandex.â
Spiderman huffs again but you feel him pull back and unzip his suit, wherever that zipper might be. âIâm so glad you canât see me right now. There was no way I could get out of this suit in a hot way.â
âTrust me, my imagination isnât doing you any favours either.â You pause. âDo you have to wear a thong under your suit?â
âThe mood was really good five seconds ago. Don't ruin it because youâre curious about what Iâm wearing underneath.â
You giggle and your nerves evaporate. Sure, youâre about to have sex with the friendly neighbourhood Spiderman and that might forever change the trajectory of your relationship with him, but at least itâs still him. When he sits back on the bed and guides you forward, you follow him without a second thought and kneel between his legs.
âWhat are youâoh fuck.â He inhales sharply, hands never leaving you for long as they find purchase in your hair. âFuck, you look so pretty.â
His thumb traces your bottom lip, feeling it give way under his touch. He curses again. âI need your mouth on me, pretty girl.â
You laugh at his eagerness and reward his honesty with your hands down his chest, breath quickening when he lets out a small sigh as your fingers graze his lower stomach. You allow yourself the time to trail a finger down his bare chest now that he is free from his spandex, marveling at the muscle you find tensing under your touch.
Eventually, you find the waistband of his boxers. âSo you do wear boxers?â
âY/N, please. The mood.â
You tug his boxers down, slightly upset you canât see the way his cock swings up, finally free from its restraints. The sounds he makes compensates and you find it hard to stay disappointed as he groans, the hand in your hair closing around to tug you impatiently towards his dick.
âSorry,â he mumbles, eyes heavy-lidded as he watches you. Despite his apology, he doesnât make an effort to loosen his hold that much.Â
You drag your hands up his thighs to find where they converge. You wrap your fingers around him, feeling out his shape. If he asked in that narcissistic way of his, youâd tell him heâs average size. Truthfully, heâs thicker and longer than youâd dare to admit, the slight curve a feature that has you pressing your thighs together.
He bucks involuntarily, a whine escaping his lips that sounds so damn needy it makes you wetter.
âTake your time,â he manages to grit out though itâs breathless. âIâm not going anywhere.â
You wonder who heâs talking to because youâre sure as hell not going to take your time. Instead, you lean in closer, your breath ghosting his length and smell himâmusky and hot after being trapped in that suit for so long.
âYouâre shaking already,â you whisper. âHavenât you ever had a girl on her knees for you?â
He doesn't answer, just lets out a shaky exhale, his hands fisting the sheets beside him. The silence is answer enough, and it makes you laugh, hard enough to be distracted by the pathetic twitch his cock gives at his own humiliation.
âNo way? The amazing Spiderman gets no game? My god, I almost feel sorry for you,â you coo mockingly, tongue flicking out to lap at the bead of pre-cum on his tip. He jolts, a strangled gasp ripping from his throat, you smile against his flushed skin. âAll that heroic web-slinging but no oneâs ever taken care of this?â
Before he can respond, you take him into your mouth, lips sealing around the head as you suck gently. He tastes salty and slightly bitter, but the way he gasps all high and desperate makes you hum in approval, the vibration drawing another shiver from him. Your hands brace on his thighs, nails digging in as you bob your head, taking him deeper inch by inch. Heâs not huge but heâs certainly responsive, hips twitching like he canât help it, fucking shallowly into your mouth.
âShitâoh God, your mouth!â His words dissolve into a groan, his hand tightening in your messy strands.
You hollow your cheeks, tongue swirling around the underside, tracing the vein that pulses against it. With your eyes closed, every sensation is amplified, the wet sounds of your sucking, the salty drip down your throat, the way his cock twitches on your tongue.
You pull back slightly, letting spit string from your lips to his tip, and pump him with your hand, remembering to twist a little at the top.
âThereâs no way youâre going to cum already, are you?â Once again, you desperately wish to see him, to see him writhing under your touch, flushed with his eyes rolling back.
âDonât stop,â he begs, voice cracking.
You oblige, leaning back down to swallow around him, nose brushing the coarse hair at his base. He smells like sweat and arousal, and you gag a little when he thrusts too eagerly, but you don't pull away. Instead, you moan, letting him feel how much you want this, how his desperation turns you on.
His free hand claws at the bed, knuckles white, and you can feel the tension coiling in his body, the way he's fighting not to come too soon. You speed up, slurping obscenely, one hand slipping down to cup his balls, rolling them gently. He cries outâactually cries outâhead thrown back, and you feel powerful, desired, even as the mean streak in you wants to edge him until he breaks.
But youâre aching too, pussy throbbing with neglect and its slickness soaks your thighs. You pop off him with a wet sound to which he whines in protest, hips jerking forward seeking more.
âNot yet,â you say breathlessly and rise to your feet to push him back fully onto your bed.
He goes willingly, sprawling out with the audible sounds of his pants. You climb over him, straddling his waist, and grind your soaked panties against his thick length. The friction makes you both moan, his hands flying to your hips to hold you there.
âPlease,â he pants. âLet me touch you. I need toââ
You cut him off with a kiss, letting him taste himself from where your mouth met his cock. Itâs messy and you rock against him harder, chasing that pressure on your clit. But itâs not enough. You need more.
Pulling back, you guide one of his hands between your legs, pressing his fingers against your clothed pussy. âFeel how wet I am? Itâs all for you. Now do something about it.â
His fingers tremble as they slip under the fabric and brush against your folds, making you hiss at the contact. Heâs clumsy at first, virgin nerves showing in the hesitant circles he rubs over your clit, but the sensation burns with your eyes closed, turning every awkward stroke into fire. You grind down to guide his rhythm and he learns fast, thumb pressing firmer, two fingers finding your entrance.
âLike this?â he asks, voice small and eager, and you nod, biting your lip to stifle a moan as he pushes inside.
Heâs not skilled, all bumping knuckles, but God does the stretch feel good. You clench around him, riding his hand, the wet squelch filling the room.
âFaster,â you demand, and he obeys, curling them experimentally, hitting that spot that makes your thighs quake. Sensory deprivation turns it overwhelming, leaving you drowning in the slide of his fingers, the heat of his palm grinding against your clit. You whimper as the pleasure builds and he drinks in every sound, pumping harder, thumb flicking relentlessly.
âYouâre so tight,â he murmurs in awe, free hand roaming your body, squeezing your breast through your shirt, pinching the nipple until you arch. âSo wet for me. Fuck, I could do this all night.â
But you canât wait anymore. You shove his hand away, panting, and fumble with your clothes, stripping off your top and skirt, panties last. He helps, clumsy but enthusiastic, suit peeled down to his hips. Naked now, you feel exposed and vulnerable, but his hands are everywhereâstroking your sides, cupping your ass, pulling you down.
He positions himself between your legs, leaning down to kiss you deeply while his hands memorise your curves, gliding them over your soft skin. Itâs not enough. You roll your hips against him, trying to press him in, seeking that friction you desperately need.
Spiderman lets out a low groan against your ear, his control slipping at your eager movements. He pulls back to watch, to drink in the sight of you writhing under him, at your hands fumbling desperately at his arms to draw him back in.
âGive me a second,â he mumbles. âI want to take my time with you.â
âPlease donât,â you whine. Itâs infuriating, having him so close you can feel his heat against your skin and yet, it only emphasises the emptiness inside you. âPlease just touch me.â
âIâve got you, baby.â Unable to resist your needy sounds any longer, he finally gives in. He readjusts his position, guiding himself to your entrance. He thrusts up slightly, his dick gathering your slick at his tip, the both of you moaning at the friction. âTell me what you want, Y/N. I need to hear how badly you need me.â He all but pleads, repeating the action over and over, eyes closed shut at every nudge against your clit.
You whimper, fingers finding purchase on his biceps. âIâm not going to beg you, jerk.â
He ruts up, the tip catching on your entrance and you almost believe itâs in until it slides right past. âBeg me,â he pleads again, mouth planting desperate kisses at your neck.
The teasing drags on, his cockhead slipping through your folds, bumping your clit with every shallow thrust, but never filling you. It's torture, the heat of him so close, the slick sounds obscene in the quiet room. You buck up, trying to impale yourself, but he holds your hips down, chuckling breathlessly against your throat.
âCome on,â he whispers, nipping at your earlobe. âJust say it. Tell me you want my cock inside you.â
Your pride wars with the ache until itâs finally too much. âFine,â you gasp, nails raking his back. âFuck me. Please, justâput it in. I need it.â
The words break him. With a guttural moan, he lines up and thrusts in, burying himself to the hilt in one smooth motion. You're stretched full, walls fluttering around his thickness, and you cry out, legs wrapping around his waist to pull him deeper.
âOh God, yes,â he groans, stilling for a moment to adjust, forehead pressed to yours. âYouâre perfect. So fucking tight.â
You clench around him deliberately, and he whines, that puppy-like desperation surfacing again.
âMove,â you plead as you rock up, and he does, pulling out halfway before slamming back in. The pace starts slow, experimental as his inexperience shows in the uneven rhythm. But it builds, thrusts deepening, the bed creaking under you. Each snap of his hips grinds his pubic bone against your clit, and with your eyes closed, itâs all you can focus on: the slap of skin, the wet glide of his cock, the way he fills you completely.
He buries his face in your neck, kissing and sucking marks into your skin, hands gripping your thighs to spread you wider. âFeels so good,â he mumbles between thrusts. "Like you were made for me. Canât believeâfuckââ
The tension coils tight in your belly, pleasure spiking with every plunge. Heâs hitting deep now, tip kissing your cervix, and you arch sharply.
But heâs greedy, wanting more, always more. One hand slips between you to find your clit again, rubbing in tight circles that make stars burst behind your eyelids. âCum for me,â he pleads, voice hoarse. âWanna feel you squeeze my dick. Please, Y/N.â
The command, laced with desperation, tips you over. You shatter, pussy convulsing around him, milking his cock as waves crash through you. He follows seconds later, thrusting erratically before spilling inside, hot spurts painting your walls. He doesnât even stop then, instead opting to slowly grind against your ass to push it all in. Finally, he collapses onto you as you both pant, bodies slick with sweat.
For a moment, thereâs only the aftershocks and his softening cock still twitching inside you. Then he lifts his head and kisses you softly, reverently.
âThat was incredible,â he whispers.
You smile lazily, fingers tracing his jaw once more. âYeah?â
He doesnât pull out right away, staying buried deep as his breathing evens out, like he can't bear to leave your warmth. His hands roam lazily now, no longer frantic but exploratory as he maps out the dip of your waist, the swell of your breasts. You must possess some kind of iron will because you keep your eyes closed even then such that you can feel every callus on his palms, every tremble in his touch. Itâs intimate, this post-climax haze, and it stirs something softer in you despite the teasing edge you cling to.
âYou're still hard,â you murmur, shifting your hips experimentally and feel him twitch inside you. He groans, low and needy, burying his face in your shoulder.
âCanât help it,â he admits, voice muffled. âYou feel too good. Like... I donât want to stop. Ever.â
The confession hangs there, vulnerable and raw, and you canât resist poking at it.
âAw, puppy,â you coo, running your fingers through his hair.
He nips at your collarbone in retaliation, but thereâs no bite to it. âYou like it,â he says, confidence peeking through the desperation. âThe way I beg. Admit it.â
You huff, but your body betrays you, clenching around him again. He takes it as an invitation and starts to rock slowly, shallow thrusts that keep him seated deep. Itâs lazy and sensual and builds up friction without urgency.
âMaybe,â you concede breathlessly, hands guiding his head. âBut donât think it makes you special.â
âLiar.â He chuckles against your skin, the vibration sending tingles down your spine.
His pace picks up slightly, one hand sliding down to where youâre joined, thumb circling your oversensitive clit. You gasp, the pleasure sharp after your orgasm, but he doesnât stop, drawing out whimpers you canât suppress.
The room fills with the soft sounds of your shared breaths, the wet slide of him moving inside you, the occasional creak of the bed. He kisses up your neck, lips brushing the edge of the blindfold.
âIs this okay?â he asks.
âYeah,â you whisper, turning your head to capture his mouth.
The kiss is slower this time as you focus on simply exploring and memorising his taste. He pulls back eventually to sit up and change the angle, hooking your legs over his shoulders. The stretch is deeper like this, his cock hitting new spots that make you moan.
âGod, youâre beautiful,â he breathes. âI always thought you were but when youâre like this⌠fuck.â
The praise warms you and you reach for him blindly, fingers finding his chest. âShut up and fuck me harder.â
He laughs, but obeys, snapping his hips with renewed vigor. The position lets him grind deep, balls slapping against your ass, and you feel another climax building. His hand returns to your clit, rubbing in time with his thrusts, and you shatter again, crying out, though not with his superhero name because that feels a little impersonal.
He follows and spills with a whine, collapsing beside you this time. Now, when the darkness creeps in from the edges, itâs not because youâre making the conscious decision to keep your eyes closed. The afterglow lures you to sleep and he holds you throughout it all.
But Spidermanâno, Gojoâlies there with his heart still refusing to slow, greed silent for only a moment but never truly gone. His fingers trace absent patterns over your back as if committing every inch of you to memory like the repetition might somehow make this enough. As if this version of the night, this version of you, can be folded up and hidden somewhere safe for later.
Because he knows, even now, that this is the only way he gets to have you.
Not in daylight, not with your eyes open and knowing. Not as the boy who sits two rows away and grins when he beats everyone to the answer. Not as Gojo, all sharp edges and arrogance and every stupid mistake heâs made with you piling up behind him like a wall.
He presses a kiss to your hair before he can stop himself.
It is a stupid thing to do, indulgent and dangerous, but there is no one here to catch him at it, no one but the sleeping girl in his arms who doesnât know the shape of his face and trusts him anyway. That makes it worse, makes his heart hurt so badly he has to take in a shuddering gasp to calm it, if only slightly.
As Spiderman, you had pulled him inside your room by hand. As Spiderman, you had touched his face with your eyes closed and trusted what you found there. As Spiderman, you had kissed him like you meant it, let him close enough to hear the soft wrecked sounds you make when you say his name.
It should feel like a victory. Some ugly, secret part of him has wanted this for too long not to recognise the shape of triumph when it finally arrives. And yet it settles strangely in his chest, tangled up with something meaner and sadder.
He tips his head back against your pillow and stares up at the dark ceiling, one arm still curved protectively around you. Outside your window the city hums low and distant, all traffic and wind and sirens dulled by height and glass. Somewhere out there, the rest of his life is still moving along with deadlines, classes, the version of himself you will face tomorrow and maybe hate a little more than you did today.
His throat tightens.
You shift against him again, this time with a sleepy little sigh, and his eyes close at once. If he were better, he thinks, he would leave now before the night can twist this into something cruel, before staying turns this into something impossible to explain later. Before morning puts light on all the parts of him that he intentionally leaves in the shadows away from your gaze.
He tips his head back against your pillow and stares up at the dark ceiling, one arm still curved protectively around you. Outside your window the city hums low and distant, all traffic and wind and sirens dulled by height and glass. Somewhere out there, the rest of his life is still moving along with deadlines, classes, the version of himself you will face tomorrow and maybe hate a little more than you did today.
But Gojo is a weak man so he stays.
Long enough for your breathing to deepen fully and for your body to grow loose and heavy with sleep beside him. Long enough that he starts to imagine, against all reason, what it would be like if he didnât have to move at all. If he could still be here when your eyes opened. if he could watch you wake and let himself be seen, just once, just enough to catch the flicker of emotion across your face. Would you be happy? Mad? Disappointed?
But the universe is rarely this forgiving and patient, and he eventually pulls himself up on his elbows.
Youâre still asleep, face half-buried in the pillow now, hair spilled across the sheets, mouth parted slightly on a soft exhale. The sight of you unguarded in such a way makes something ache low and hopeless inside him. Thereâs a mark near your collarbone he has to drag his gaze away from before he becomes truly pathetic.
âDon't do this to me,â he whispers, though whether he means you or fate or himself, he isnât sure.
Obviously, no one answers him.
It would be easier if you werenât like this. If you were messy or careless or cruel in your sleep. If you took up too much space, kicked him in that old wound that still refuses to heal. If you snored. If you drooled on the pillow. If there were anything in the world that made leaving you here feel less like carving something out of himself with his own hands and leaving it on the pillow next to your head.
But there isnât. So Gojo leans down and presses one last kiss to your temple.
Before he goes, he stands beside the bed for one suspended moment, looking down at you with all the wretched fondness he never manages to contain well enough.
âI'm sorry,â he whispers softly.
Then heâs gone, slipping back through the window into the thinning dark before dawn.
Morning comes gently.
You wake slowly, feeling the ache of too little sleep and something duller lower down, soothed by the warmth trapped under your blanket. Itâs a gloomy day outside and faint grey light slips in through the curtains. For one sweet, stupid second, the memory of the night before reaches you before your eyes properly open, and your mouth almost curves with it.
You reach out to touch him and find nothing.
Your eyes snap open.
âSpiderman?â
The name sounds ridiculous in the morning quiet.
The space beside you is empty, no lingering body heat, no weight in the mattress, no messy shape of someone else, just rumpled sheets and a half-opened window blowing a chill into your room. It all looks so unbearably ordinary for a place where your life had felt, only hours ago, like it was tilting into something secret and miraculous.
Something strange moves through you then, too tangled to name cleanly. The first is an easy one to decipher, disappointment, sharp and immediate. Then embarrassment, because some soft foolish part of you had expected to wake up and find him still there. Perhaps not unmasked, maybe not staying forever, but at the very least there to share the same sense of sheepishness you feel. Enough to prove last night hadnât been a beautiful, selfish thing borrowed from the dark.
You reach out and smooth your hand over the cold sheet once, as if you might find traces of your common sense there and regain some rational thought.
It doesnât, to no surprise. All it does is confirm what you already know.
Your bed is empty.
Has the sun always felt so good on his skin?Â
Gojo swings through the city as he does every morning. Itâs a habit that comes from the obligation, something Geto had said in passing about the responsibilities of being a superheroâor something. Satoru never really listens when Geto scolds him and he certainly doesnât care enough now to pull those words to the surface.Â
His morning patrols are little more than a guilty pleasure anyway. To be above the city made everyone else seem like ants, feeble things that needed saving every minute of every day. But itâs fine.Â
Because speaking of guilt, thatâs what he should be feeling right now. But he doesnât. In fact, Satoru is having a rather fine and dandy day.Â
He high fives the police chief when they start scolding him on the mess of webs he left behind during the car chase. He tips the convenient store cashier when he pays for his energy drink, forgoing the whole âleave the store and then web cash to the workerâs chestâ bit that he always does. He smiles at the senior citizens when they eye him even though he knows the gesture wonât show through the mask.Â
He finger guns the kids as they ride by in scooters and bulky, too-big helmets. He graciously rescues a balloon from a tree. He pets a dog on the way to class.Â
His phone buzzes in the pocket of his jacket that he wears to keep away the winter chill, the new personal phone that he got, not his work phone, and that does a really good job of extinguishing his mood.Â
Gojo settles down on the ground and ducks into a thin alleyway, pulling out his phone to check.Â
Itâs a calendar notification reminding him that today was the big outing, some aquarium outing he had to beg Shoko to be invited to. Once, he had looked forward to it but now, all he can think of is the hurt in your eyes, the way your mouth falls open in soft pleasure, the slight flutter in your eyes as you arch against hisâ
He shoves his phone back into his pocket and hurries back to his dorm.Â
Ignoring Geto's casual greetings, Gojo opts to instead ceremoniously flop into his top bunk the moment he slings in through the open window.Â
âHow was patrol?â
âDonât ask me stupid questions.â
âOkay.â Geto looks up from his book, turning in his chair to look up at the blue and white lump. âWhatâs wrong with you?âÂ
Gojo tugs off his mask, ruffling his hair as it falls messy before faceplanting back into his unmade bed. âNothing.â
âYou left the dorm beaming like everyday is just sunshine and rainbows to you, and now youâre back sulking. I wouldnât call that nothing.â He pauses when he receives no response, before sighing. âJust make sure to ditch the attitude before we meet up with Shoko. And donât take it out on Y/N.â
Gojo canât help it, he chokes on his own breath. Geto , of course, notices.Â
âWhat was that sound?âÂ
âThatâs just how I breathe.âÂ
âYou donât always sound like a kicked puppy when youâre breathing.â His roommate stands to peek over the frame of the bunk bed, raising an eyebrow when heâs met with Gojo's devastated state. âIs this about your tragic loss to Venom? Look, heâll come back and youâll get another shot at being a good superhero, I promise.â
âItâs not that.â
âIs it Y/N then?â
Gojo lifts his head just enough to give him an incredulous look. âHow did youâŚ?â
âI saw what you were reposting on Tiktok.â
Gojo flops onto his back, hands over his face, feet kicking about in frustration. âGod, even when sheâs not around she drives me crazy!â
âNot that Iâm not super sympathetic about your situation, but maybe itâs not the best idea to freak out about your normal civilian life when youâre Spiderman-ing. Itâs better to keep those things separate, you know?âÂ
Gojo grabs his pillow and shoves it over his face.Â
âWas that an agreement or an act of rebellion? Satoru, Iâm serious. You canât mix your personal life and your superhero activities together.âÂ
He stays quiet, or maybe heâs suffocated himself. Gojo kind of hopes itâs the latter if itâll save him from telling the truth.Â
Geto shakes his shoulder. âDude, stop moping. We have that thing to go to and Shoko wonât be happy if you flake.â
Gojo remains limp and after a few more shakes, Geto frowns with the tiniest hint of worry.Â
âOkay, out with it. What did you do?âÂ
At this, Gojo finally turns his head to look at his roommate mournfully. A slow, sinking sensation of dread drops in Geto's stomach as he searches this thin glimpse of his roommateâs face.Â
âPlease tell me you didnât.â
âI did.â
âHow bad? Does she know?â
Gojo lets out a long, suffering sigh. âWorse.â
âYou kissed her.âÂ
âWorse.âÂ
Geto's mouth drops open. âYou fucked her? Satoru, what the fuck?â
âI donât know, okay, it just happened!âÂ
Geto pulled his hand back as if burnt. âJust happened? These things donât just happen! Sex doesnât just happen!â
Gojo groans into his pillow. âWe were both consenting adults in this, Suguru, itâs not a big deal!â
âThatâs not the issue! She doesnât know who you are, Satoru!â
âI know that!â
âDo you? Because if you did I donât think you would have done that!â He runs a hand through his hair. âHow does she not know?â
âShe kept her eyes closed,â Gojo says.
âYou kinky bitch.â
âIt was the only way she wouldnât see!â
âReally? Because I can think of other ways. Have you considered the tactic of just not fucking her in the first place?â
Gojo frowns as if in genuine thought before shaking his head.Â
âHell. This is my superhero. Weâre all fucked.â
âSuguru, you have to help me.â Gojo sits up, head ducked slightly so as to not hit his head on the ceiling above. âI fucked up okay, I know I did. But itâs complicated, alright? Y/N and I arenât⌠good right now. I thought we were and then I dropped my phone and then we fought and now sheâs blocked me on everything. Even Linkedin. And Spotify!â
âSatoru, I help you with Spiderman stuff. I help you with last minute homework deadlines because you were too busy saving the world. I help you with lying to our friends about why you disappeared during a bathroom break for an hour that doesnât involve emptying your guts into a toilet. Iâm not helping you when you fumble a girl.â
âBut what if I fumbled her because Iâm Spiderman. I feel like that counts, right?âÂ
Geto turns and drops himself into his chair, the seat turning slightly at the momentum until he plants his feet down. He sighs, running a hand through his hair. âYou still havenât told me what happened.â
âY/N and I broke up.â
âYou werenât dating.â
âA friendship break up then. A situationship break up.â
âFine, whatever you want to call it. What even happened? Because every time we talked about her before that it sounded like things were going well.âÂ
âThings were going well. I almost kissed her like, five times. The sixth time would have definitely been the charm.â
Geto makes a face.âI feel like thatâs an indication that things arenât going well, but okay.â
âAnyway, remember when venom showed up a few days ago and I broke my phone?â
âAnd how you were knocked out for a night? I remember.â
âRight well,â Gojo takes in a deep breath that indicates heâs about to ramble, âbecause I broke my phone I wasnât able to tell her something came up and I wouldnât be able to make the presentation. I only woke up after we had to present, meaning she had to do it herself and now she hates me because she thinks I donât take her seriously. and I canât clarify that I do take her seriously because, again, she blocked me on everything. She also unadded me on every Google Doc she shared to me.â
âDamn, sheâs serious.â For a moment, Geto seems genuinely apologetic. âThat sucks man, Iâm sorry you were cockblocked by Venom.â
âWell, it comes with the powers and responsibility and all that.â Gojo falls back onto his bed, starfished as far as his limbs can go before they hit the sides of his bunk bed. âYou always have a solution to everything. Canât you fix my love life too?â
âI canât perform miracles, dumbass.â
âThat's not your line. Youâre meant to be sympathetic and helpful. Do you even care about me?âÂ
âNo,â Geto says mournfully. âUnfortunately youâre the only one saving our city these days so I kind of have to stick around to make sure you donât mess that up.âÂ
Gojo grabs his Agumon plushie and throws it down over the side of the railing. He doesnât have to look over the edge to know it hit its target. âIâm serious, Suguru.â
Geto catches the plushie with ease and gives it a pat on its head, placing it gently on his lap. âIâm serious too. Maybe this is a good thing. I keep telling you that you have to keep your superhero life and your boring, normal person life separate. This just shows you what happens when you donât do that.â
âWoah, thank you, Mr sunshine and rainbows.â
âLife isnât sunshine and rainbows.â
âIt is when you have the eyes to see it,â he sighs dramatically. âIs it too much to ask that I can just be Satoru and Spiderman without losing anything?âÂ
Thereâs something in Gojo's voice that makes Geto pause. Maybe itâs the lack of that whiny tilt to his cadence, maybe itâs the fact that heâs shoved his face into another plushie on his bed, voice muffled and hiding the desperate sound.Â
Geto wants to tell him the truth, that if the world was good and just he could be every side of him, that he shouldnât have to pick between being a weapon for the cityâs safety and an actual person with hopes and dreams and wants. Geto wants to tell him that he shouldnât have to pick being a superhero over being a person, but he canât tell him that. Because as the world stands right now, Gojo simply canât have both.Â
âThere's still that outing,â Geto finds himself saying. âLook, it sounds like you really hurt Y/N but sheâs not unreasonable, you know that. Iâm sure if you talk to her you can clear things up. Or just apologise now that time has settled.â
Gojo shuffles a little and sits up to look down at his roommate. "Weren't you just telling me I shouldnât mix personal and work life?â
âYou see Spider-Man as work?â
âAnswer my question, man.â
Geto sighs. âThe part of me that just wants to make sure youâre not hurt doing this whole superhero thing wants to tell you that. But the part of me thatâs your friend doesnât. It sucks that in this world no one can be their genuine self. But I mean it when I say that I want to see you happy and if youâre happy with Y/N then I hope things work out between the both of you.â
No one says anything for a while. Geto looks up.Â
âDude, what did you eat today to make you sprout all that feelings bullshit?â Gojo mimes throwing up.Â
Geto rolls his eyes, grabbing the plushie on his lap to throw it back up at him. Gojo catches it, his Spiderman instincts never letting him down, and when he puts it down on his bed, heâs smiling.Â
âSo, any tips?â
âJust be yourself.âÂ
âI was and look how everything turned out.â
Geto hums. âThen maybe letâs start with your wardrobe. If youâre going to win Y/N back, you canât show up to the function wearing the same one shirt.â
The aquarium is a shitty place to take someone youâre no longer on speaking terms with.Â
It seems even the fish have figured out how to move around without touching. Silver fish turn as one body and never collide. Stingrays glide past each other like silk dragged through water. Even sharks know how to circle without making contact, all smooth instinct and measured distance, and that would be deeply meaningful if you werenât currently trapped in a dark blue tunnel feeling like shit.Â
It is, Shoko had said in the groupchat three days ago, supposed to be a fun, normal outing. You should have known then that something demonic had possessed her.Â
The tunnel curves overhead in a long arc of glass, seawater casting wavering patterns of light over the floor and over the faces of people passing through. Children press their sticky palms to the glass, and a baby somewhere up ahead lets out a delighted shriek at the sight of some broad, ghostly thing drifting above. Couples walk slowly enough to be irritating, stopping every two steps to point things out to each other in soft voices.Â
The entire place is built for wonder and you are having a terrible time.Â
âLook,â you say from beside Shoko, pointing upward with none of the enthusiasm the gesture should probably contain, âa fish.âÂ
âI think thatâs obviously a shark,â Utahime says, squinting upward.Â
Geto hums, a telltale sign that heâs about to launch into his typical ragebaiting. âIâm pretty sure sharks are fish though, so what do you mean by that?â
âOh come on, Geto. You know what I mean. Thereâs fish, and then thereâs shark. If I say fish, no one is picturing that. Theyâre thinking of, like, a normal fish. Small, swimmy, not that giant thing above our heads.âÂ
âSo now weâre racially profiling fish and sharks?â Geto pauses as if in deep thought. âSo then by your logic, is a stingray fish-looking fish or shark-looking fish.âÂ
âA stingray is its own thing,â Utahime snaps. âDonât piss me off in public.âÂ
âSeems complicated. Not very obvious then, is it?âÂ
On any other day, thereâd be nothing more joyous than joining in and annoying Utahime. Today, however, youâre still figuring out how to move around without being touched.Â
âAt least give yourself the chance to have a good time,â Shoko remarks from beside you, none too impressed with your sulky mood.Â
You know it isnât fair to her but to say youâre in a bad mood is an understatement. Every voice only serves to grind your gears and the way people shove past you here and there makes you want to rip off your skin.Â
Maybe because you got approximately no sleep. Maybe because your body still feels the phantom touch of another, the roughness in his voice as he utters your name all deprived and pleading. Maybe because Gojo is still six inches to your left, all long limbs and damp shadows under his eyes, and every time the crowd bottlenecks in the tunnel, you catch the faint clean scent of his soap like he took a shower earlier this morning.Â
The tunnel narrows as it curves, forcing all of you into an untidy line. Shoko and Utahime end up leading, Geto just behind them, pointing out silly little things that pisses her Utahime and makes Shoko laugh. You had slowed down for all of three seconds to let a family with two children pass and made the tactical error of allowing Gojo to fall into step beside you. Now the two of you are trapped by the flow of bodies moving through the tunnel at exactly the kind of sluggish, reverent pace that grates against your frayed nerves.
Above, something glides over the glass. The baby up ahead screams again, only louder, such that it echoes down the winding tunnel.
âSee, that wouldn't be a fish,â Geto is saying from up ahead.
You can hear utahime through the murmur of the crowd. âI figured.â
âCanât be too sure.â
There's another shuffle of people from up ahead as if the presence of the stingray is a thing to fawn over, a stop-start of prams and schoolbags and a father trying to explain in a stage whisper why no, his child cannot touch the stingray, and the whole line compresses.
Gojoâs shoulder brushes yours.
You stiffen before you can even try to pretend it had no effect on you and he shifts back, creating what little space he can in a tunnel full of tourists and toddlers. You can feel his hesitation without even looking at him, that careful slouching in on himself he's been doing all day.
âSorry,â he says quietly.Â
You donât bother with a response, looking in the opposite direction as if you had suddenly gained a deep appreciation for marine life.Â
Shoko glances back over her shoulder to make sure she hasnât lost either of you, and catches the way the two of you repel from each other. Her eyes flick from your face to Gojoâs, and narrow.Â
Great, so not only are you miserable, but now youâre probably going to get grilled.Â
âYou two are weirdly quiet,â she cleverly deduces.Â
âWeâre in an aquarium,â you reply. âThe whole point is to be quiet and to look at the fish. Or the sharks orâwhatever.âÂ
âAre you at least having fun?â she tries again, though judging from her look, itâs clear she already has an answer in mind.Â
âDefinitely,â you mumble at the same time Gojo says, âSo much fun.âÂ
You keep your mouth shut, refusing to look over at him. And Shoko, bless her patient heart, only tries again.Â
âWeâre about to reach the actual shark section. You love sharks, donât you, Y/N?â
âPartial at best.â
âOr we could divert to look at the rock pools and touch some starfish. Doesnât that sound like fun, Gojo?âÂ
âI guess.â He kicks at the ground, stubbornly glaring at the path.Â
Shoko rolls her eyes, dropping her gentle parenting act just as the tunnel begins to open up again. The two of you separate like magnets of the same charge when thereâs space to move, only heightening her annoyance.Â
âYou both are impossible! Youâre acting like kids! Letâs age check real quick, how long are you two going to keep up this silent treatment act for?â
Gojo sighs, running a hand through his hair. âCan you just drop it, Shoko? Itâs really none of your business.â
âWoah,â Shoko says. âGojoâs arrived.âÂ
âIâm serious.â He grits his teeth. âLeave it.â
Shoko looks over at you for your input but you keep quiet, hiding your own guilt by looking away. Youâre acting like a kid, you know you are, but itâs hard not to when you have this man child walking beside you.Â
And because Gojo has never won an argument against with Shoko, never has in the many, many years theyâve known each other, she grabs your hand and his arm and pulls you both together, positive versus positive charge be damned. You visibly flinch when his skin brushes yours, but her hands keep you together.Â
âI donât know what happened between you two,â she says, âbut youâre going to sort it out right here right now, you hear me? The shark section is up ahead. I donât care what happens in there, but when you walk out of it, youâre both going to get along. Understood?â
Gojo looks up from where heâs staring at the point of contact where your bodies touch.Â
âI said, understood?â Shoko presses, drawing you both closer.Â
You grimace and relent. âFine, fine. Just let go, wonât you?â
She doesnât, turning her fierce gaze to Gojo. âYour turn.â
âShoko,â he starts, but his eyes are fixed over her shoulder. âLet go.âÂ
âI wonât until you tell me the two of you are going to start behaving like adults again."Â
âShoko, seriouslyââ
âGojo, Iâm not letting go untilââ
You let out a frustrated exhale. âJust get it over with and say that you will.âÂ
âThatâs not it.âÂ
His voice sharpens so suddenly that the three of you freeze. His hand closes around your arm, knocking Shokoâs grip off him in one abrupt movement, and you almost wince at how tight his fingers are.Â
âDuck!âÂ
Considering youâre at an aquarium and not a zoo, his words confuse you. But the word barely leaves his mouth before the world ends, or at least the tunnel does.Â
One moment youâre upright and irritated, and the next youâre on the slick aquarium floor with Gojo half over you, his hand clamped around the back of your head as glass bursts somewhere overhead in a noise so violent it seems to deafen you. Water follows half a second later, a freezing, roaring wall of it that slams into your legs and floods the corridor in one breathless rush.Â
You gasp, inhaling panic with it. For one awful second, all you can see is dark water and something silver whipping past your face so quickly you canât process whether itâs debris or fish or some secret third option. Gojoâs arms tighten around you just before the current hits full force, shielding you from the bulk of it.Â
When the initial wave passes, he pushes himself up first, still braced over you, blinking the water from his eyes. âAre you okay? Actually, donât answer straight away because then youâre probably lying. Are you hurt?â
You stare at him for half a second with your chest heaving, before snapping back into your body. âI think so. Was that enough time to seem genuine?â
âYeah,â he says, then grabs your hand and hauls you upright with startling efficiency.Â
A jagged hole has been torn through the glass overhead and water is still pouring through in punishing sheets, waves upon waves lapping at your feet. You ignore it all.Â
âShoko!â you shout immediately. âUtahime? Guys?â
âWeâre here!â Shokoâs voice comes from somewhere to your right, thin through the alarms and the water. âWeâre all okay!â
Through the flashing red light and beyond a rush of water you canât imagine brushing past, you spot them.
Shoko has one arm around Utahimeâs waist and the other braced against the wall, her hair plastered to her face by spray. Utahime is upright, but only just, one hand pressed over her calf where blood is already mixing into the water in thin red ribbons. Suguru is beside them, shoving a fallen display sign out of the way so a knot of panicked visitors can force themselves toward the nearest exit.
âWeâre fine!â Geto yells. âUtahime got cut by the glass, but she can walk. Weâre heading for the side stairs.â
Shoko twists back, catches sight of you and Gojo still standing there, and immediately cups her hands around her mouth. âWhat are you two doing? Move! I paid money for this outing and frankly Iâd like at least four of us to live!â
Before either of you can answer, something booms deeper in the aquarium hard enough to rattle the glass beneath your feet. All around you, people are still trying to push toward the exits in a mess of uncoordinated panic. One aquarium staff member is shouting for everyone to stay calm in a voice already fraying at the edges and thereâs a child sobbing somewhere to your right. Another tank further down the hall has cracked into a spiderweb of fractures that spread wider with every violent thud from beyond.
Gojo tenses, sensing something you canât before he turns to you, hands on your shoulders. âGet to the exit.â
âRight, okay,â you say automatically, already reaching for his hand to drag him with you. Your fingers slide around his wrist and tug. âCome on.â
He doesnât move.
You look back at him. âWhat are you doing?â
âYou go with them,â he says, already looking past you toward the ruined hall. âIâll follow after you.â
You stare at him in disbelief. âUm, no?â
Your voice comes out louder than you mean it to, sharpened by the cold and the adrenaline and the immediate, furious certainty that no, absolutely not, you are not doing this with him again. Not here, not now, not when the floor is flooding and the walls are breaking and he still thinks he can look you in the face and say Iâll follow after like you were born yesterday.
âDo you have a death wish?â you demand. âCome on, the water is rising!â
âLook, I can handle myself.â His fingers tighten once against your shoulder, almost pleading. âI know what Iâm doing so just wait outside. Don't worry about me and go.â
It is such a stupid thing to say that for a second you can only look at him.
Donât worry about me.
As if that has ever worked. As if you havenât spent weeks trying to ignore him and failing every single time. As if he hasnât somehow made himself your problem since the moment he had called your grade out in the middle of that irrelevant tutorial room.
You glare at him, at his stupid fluffy white hair gone damp at the edges, at the thick-framed glasses he always pushes up his nose when he starts rambling about something ridiculous, at the stupid blue eyes that seem to shift colour with his mood and are now fixed on the corridor behind you instead of properly on you.
âI canât,â you say.
His head snaps back to yours. âWhat?â
âI canât just ignore you.â The words come out thinner than you want them to, but thereâs no taking them back now. âIâve tried and I just canât.â
âThis isnât the time for that,â he says, brows furrowed in that way he gets when heâs annoyed.âDonât be ridiculous, you could get hurt.â
âYou could get hurt.â
âThatâs different.â
âIs it?â you scoff before looking back at him. âYou know what your problem is?â
He rolls his eyes with a sigh. âOh, here we go. Tell me, tell me what my problem isââ
âOh, I will. Iâll tell you what your fucking problem isââ
âOh yeah, youâll tell me? Cause you know me better than I know myself?âÂ
âSomeone has to,â you snap, stepping toward him, daring him to take a step back. âBecause clearly youâve got no clue what youâre doing. Not with this, not with women, certainly not with me.â
He exhales. âYeah? Well, youâre stuck up and impossible to control and you piss me off.â
âAre you a kid? You sound so dumb right nowââ
A crash tears through the corridor hard enough to shake the ground beneath your feet and whatever insult youâve both had gearing up immediately dies. You both look toward the corridor then to each other.Â
âProbably not the best time for this,â you say.Â
âYeah,â he says. âLetâs shelf this for later.â
âIâm still not going to ditch you so get that through your thick skull and whatever vast air bubble hugs your brain.âÂ
For one ridiculous second, despite the alarms and the flooding and the horrifying sounds of public infrastructure being turned inside out, Gojo actually looks like he wants to laugh.Â
âDid you just call me an air head?â he asks, the words breathless and almost fond. âYouâre never going to make things easy for me, are you?âÂ
You shoot him an incredulous look. âPeople are dying, Satoru. Lock in. Whatâs the plan?âÂ
He shakes his head like a dog.Â
âOkay,â he says, back in motion now, words quick and sharp and all business because he clearly doesnât trust himself to stay in the other mode any longer. âNew plan. We get everyone we can to the exit, and then if you still want to tell me what my problem is, Iâll stand there and let you monologue. But donât leave my sight and donât try to be self-sacrificing.âÂ
âYouâre telling me?â You snort. âSays the guy who was just about to run off and do exactly that.â
You brush past him, heading towards the tunnel where the sound originated.Â
Despite every instinct telling him to grab you and pull you out, Gojo finds himself just standing there. Heâs always been weak to you, this revelation is not one that comes with any surprise. All youâve ever really had to do was look at himâproperly look at him, with that sharp little glare that says heâs annoyed you againâand some pathetic part of him was already halfway to heel, tail practically wagging. Itâs degrading almost, the Spiderman, reduced to nothing but a desperate man in love, but for some reason Gojo canât find himself hating it completely. That was just how far he had fallen.
He drags a hand through his hair and exhales sharply through his nose as he catches up behind you. The mask in his pocket feels impossibly heavy, like it knows better than he does, like itâs already calling him toward the moment heâs been putting off for too long. But he doesn't yet, and settles instead for following behind, every muscle bracing for the second this goes wrong.Â
You are having much less sophisticated thoughts.
You wonder to yourself as you trudge through the ankle deep water, what the fuck are you doing?
Your shoes are full of cold, disgusting salt water and what is, realistically, probably fish shit, when the safe outside had been right there within reach moments ago. You could have left. You could have gone with Shoko and Utahime and Geto and let the staff and the police and whoever else handles aquarium disasters deal with the rest. Instead, you had willingly walked back into where disaster struck. And for what? A boy?
Well, you think. At least you have the experience of fighting off two villains now. One and a half. Okay, more like two halves. That made one. So youâve had one (1) moment of experience. That was enough, right?Â
âDonât worry,â you tell Gojo, noticing his uncharacteristic silence. âIf anything happens, Iâll protect you.â
He opens his mouth to reply, but whatever smart thing he had lined up dies the second the tunnel widens into the main shark gallery.
A man in a torn aquarium polo staggers through the burst corridor with black slick crawling up one arm and along the side of his throat, jerking in wet, ugly pulses under the emergency lights. A member of staff, who looks maybe nineteen and one bad shift away from quitting forever, is trying to wave people toward the side exit while very obviously trying not to cry.
Gojo is already moving, ignoring the way the room shudders when the symbiote host slams his fist into a pillar.
âIâm going to distract it so the people have time to get out of here. Stay here or go help them but do not get in the way.âÂ
He doesnât check to see if youâll agree before grabbing the nearest floating wet floor sign and hurling it at the manâs face with a pitcherâs accuracy. It smacks the figureâs shoulder and bounces away harmlessly, but it does the important thing.Â
The ex-aquarium staff turns toward him and subsequently, you.Â
âOkay,â you mutter, already moving. âLooks like youâve got it from here!â
The host makes a low, distorted sound, half growl and half wet static, and barrels toward Gojo with one blackened arm swelling grotesquely around the elbow. Gojo ducks the first swing, grabs the edge of an overturned brochure stand, and yanks it into the path of the next. It shatters immediately, but the delay buys the nearest cluster of trapped visitors just enough time to break into motion.
You hurry to the sobbing staff member, a girl with her short black hair tied to one side, two hair clips holding her bangs away from her eyes. âHey, hey, itâs okay! Just think of all the hazard pay youâll get after this. For now, grab those two and head to the side exit.âÂ
She blinks at you, tears still flowing freely down her cheeks, but eventually nods. âWhat about you?âÂ
You jab a thumb behind you. âIâm kind of stuck here with this idiot. Now hurry.âÂ
Behind you, thereâs a huge crash followed by Gojo saying, âYou know, this is why no one likes staff team building exercises. Thereâs always one guy who takes it too far.â
The villain seems to not enjoy Gojoâs commentary because it roars. You turn in time to see Gojo skid sideways through the floodwater, one hand catching the low railing to keep from going down entirely. The black slick lashes for him again and misses, carving a line of ugly cracks through the decorative panel behind him instead.Â
Itâs not hard to tell that Gojo is losing and in fact, youâd be severely deluded if your nerd situationship sort-of close friend would win against a seemingly inhuman sentient black goo. At least he isnât losing without dignity. He makes valiant attempts to shove the thing back a step, ducking under a swing only for the next to catch him high in the shoulder and throw him sideways into the viewing rail.Â
Your heart drops to your ass quick, watching as Gojo drives himself back upright with a wince and a desperate glare for you to stay there.Â
The symbiote host lurches toward him again, blackened arm distending with a wet, horrific ripple.Â
Your brain finally catches up.Â
Okay. Okay, think.Â
You have seen this stupid black goo twice before now, which feels like two times too many. The first time, you used a fire extinguisher. The second, the steam wand from the cafe had done enough to make the goo retreat. So this thing clearly does not enjoy pressure or heat.Â
You spin in place, eyes skittering wildly over the wrecked shark gallery.Â
Thereâs debris everywhere, broken signage, upside down benches and a cardboard cutout of some mascot shark swims past you in ankle deep water. Thereâs a staff-only closet near the back, more brochure stands, maps on the wall, when your eyes finally see it. There, near the entrance of the tunnel, is a thick industrial hose line feeding into one of the side filtration systems, its pressure valve mounted low on the wall, bright red against the blue gloom.Â
One of the sanitation steam lines that run along the upper maintenance track has ruptured where debris struck, hissing softly in the rumble of the crumbling aquarium. White vapour coughs out in fitful bursts, weak now but still there.Â
âSatoru!â
He glances your way at the exact second the host slams him in the chest, sending him skidding through the water on his back. You wince. âOh, sorry. Whenever you have the time.â
âIâm fine,â he chokes out, rolling out of the way in time to avoid a second blow. âThanks for asking.â
You splash toward the pressure valve, shoes slipping against the tiles. âShut up and use the environment! Thereâs a pressurised line here and steam up there. Youâre just going to have to trust me on this one but I think I have an idea!â
The host, as if sensing your plan, turns towards you. Gojo curses, any sarcasm vanishing in an instant.Â
âNo! Donât get closer!â
âToo late!â you yell back, already grabbing the valve wheel. âYouâre getting your ass beat, Satoru, Iâm not going to stand here and just let your ego handle it!âÂ
He rises to his feet, running to you though in the water, itâs only a pathetic sloshing that almost gives you the ick. âMy ego? And you think your pride will handle it any better?â
No.Â
âYes!âÂ
You wrench at the valve and, because your life has always been full of miracles and good fortune, nothing happens.Â
The host lunges in your direction again. Gojo catches him from the side, arm hooking around his neck for one desperate second before the black slick ripples up and flings him off. He crashes shoulder-first into the low barrier by the shark viewing glass.
He gasps and coughs, eyes blearily finding yours. âGetâget out of here. Now, Y/N.â
âIâm not giving up.â You brace one foot against the wall. âNo pressure, literally.â
You yank at the wheel again but nothing still happens. Thereâs got to be a safety catch, a pin or latch or something. Your eyes dart over the assembly frantically even as the figure draws itself back on its legs.Â
âY/N!â Gojo calls out again, water sloshing around his body as he tries to follow.Â
Your eyes skim frantically over the valve housing, over rusted bolts and warped metal and a tangle of pipes slick with spray, until they finally catch on a metal locking pin bent half-flat against the side.
Without another thought, you lunge for it and wrap both hands around the pin.Â
Behind you, thereâs a sharp, ugly soundâGojo sucking in a breath through his teethâfollowed by the violent splash of him slamming back into the host. You risk a glance over your shoulder just in time to see him catch the thing by the arm, twist with the momentum, and drive a punch into its face hard enough to make black slick spray across the floodwater.
Pulse spiking, you put your whole weight into the pin. And finally, it gives all at once, slipping free so suddenly you nearly fall backward into the floorwater.Â
âGot you!â you hiss at the valve before throwing yourself against the wheel.Â
This time, it turns. The line shudders to life with a deep, violent thump and water pressure surges through the pipes hard enough to rattle the wall.Â
âSatoru!â you shout, looking up wildly. âTo your left! Bring him here!âÂ
He turns his head fast, sees the line, sees you, and somehow understands immediately despite looking one bad hit away from passing out. You suppose he isnât a genius for nothing.
Gojo stands with more purpose, moving in a tight arc through the floodwater, letting the thing follow. His movements are messier than they should be, attributed to the wounds heâs sustained. You can see it every time he favours his right side, every time his mouth tightens with every dodge.Â
But he still keeps moving, still keeping the thin on him, keeping it away from you. Trusting your ridiculous plan that was concocted in under a minute.Â
âCome on,â he calls, breathless and taunting all at once. âCome on and get me, you big ugly thing. Iâve had worse nights.â
The host lunges under the broken steam line.Â
âNow!â you shout, a command for just yourself really, and crank the pressure line open fully.Â
A brutal blast of high-pressure water erupts across the gallery and catches the host broadside, slamming into its blackened shoulder and neck with enough force to wrench it half off its feet. At the same time, a fresh burst of steam hisses from overhead where the damaged line gives way under the renewed vibration. And just as youâd hoped, the black slick convulses.
It peels back in twitching bands from the hostâs throat and shoulder, recoiling from the steam with an ugly, wet shiver. It starts to back away on unsteady feet.Â
âThere!â you yell, voice cracking with triumph and panic all at once. âAgain, use it again!â
Gojo doesnât hesitate. He grabs the dangling steam pipe with both hands and yanks hard enough to shear the remaining bracket loose. The line drops lower, shrieking vapour across the hostâs side.
The thingânot the man, but the thingâlets out a shrill cry, a sound so wrong it feels like it goes through your bones instead of your ears.
Gojo uses the opening immediately, slamming his shoulder into the hostâs chest and driving him back into the support beam beside the shark viewing glass. The whole gallery shudders under the impact, but this time the host goes down hard, knees buckling under him as the black slick writhes and spasms under the steam.
You donât realise youâve moved until youâre already splashing toward him, relief making you stupid and light all at once. In your head, it should have been graceful, some dramatic run into his arms after shared survival and mutual competence. In reality, the water turns it into a pathetic, uneven waddle that Gojo, in an act of true mercy, only pretends not to notice.
âWe did it!â you say, breathless and bright with adrenaline. âThat was insane, but we did it. And Iâm taking at least seventy percent of the credit, by the way, because without me you were just getting beaten up in a public aquariumââ
He smiles, just barely, and turns to look at you.
âYeah,â he says, chest heaving. âI guess weââ
Something moves in the corner of his eye.
It isnât the frantic, wild sort of movement from before, but something uglier for how deliberate it feels. A last-ditch effort. The host drags one arm free of the steam and the floodwater just enough for the black slick to surge violently down its length and gather into one long, brutal lash of muscle and tar.
It comes not for Gojo, but for you.
Gojo sucks in a sharp breath at the sight, his whole face changing before you can even register why. His mouth opens around the start of your name, warning already there, panic rising faster than the sound can leave him.
You are still a few crucial seconds behind.
By the time you catch the movement in your peripheral vision and start to turn, Gojo is already lunging forward. But the thing is too fast, the distance too wrong, and you can see the exact instant he realises he wonât make it to you in time as himself.
You turn just enough to see it.
Ah.
So this is how stupid people die.
Something white snaps through the air.
The strike jerks violently sideways before it can hit you, yanked off course so hard it slams into the side wall instead, cracking the tile with a wet, horrible impact. A scream tears from your throat, loud and sharp in the aftermath, but the thing barely registers to you now, not even when the goo gives one last shudder and forms something like a trembling fist aimed in your direction.
You donât care about that anymore.
Instead, your eyes track the white line stretched taut across the gallery.
You follow it all the way back.
All the way to Gojo.
He stands there with his arm still half outstretched. His face is stricken with lingering panic, but there is something else there too, something like resignation, like he knows whatever happens next might end his world right here in a crumbling aquarium.
You look from his face to his wrist and then back again.
âWhat,â you say, finding no other words that fit the moment. âWhat the fuck.â
Gojo lowers his arm very slowly. Water drips from his sleeve, from his fingers, from the impossible thin connecting him to the wall beside you.Â
âThis is not how I wanted to tell you,â he says, his voice suddenly rough in a way you recognise far too well.
The host roars, and itâs that sound that snaps both of you back into motion.
Gojoâs hand goes to his pocket and comes back with the maskâof course itâs the mask. Blue and white, worn at the edges, and, hell, maybe youâre hallucinating now, but is that still the little tear you left in the fabric that night?
He hesitates just before pulling it over his head, eyes darting back to you as he says, âPlease wait for me. Just this once, please wait.â
There is no time to process the fact that his eyes look almost frightened. No time to process the fact that the voice youâve heard in your ear and the voice that has said your name in two different ways now belong to the same infuriating man. There is really no time to process anything at all.
So, shockingly, you do the mature thing.
You nod.
âOkay,â you say, and your voice sounds strange to your own ears. âOkay. Go.â
You watch as Gojo stares at you, hopeless and pleading all at once, the mask slipping over his face. But now that youâve seen himâseen him bare and vulnerable and desperately hopingâthe blue and white can no longer hide it.
Spider-Man keeps looking at you even as he slings onto the adjacent wall, the sticky material catching with a faint smack.
âIâm going to explain everything,â he says. âI promise. Justâplease. Please still be here when I come back.â
He doesnât wait for your response, not properly. Maybe because heâs worried whatever words leave your gaping mouth will be a rejection. Maybe because if he waits another second, heâll stay here looking at you until the whole room caves in around you.Â
Spiderman slings out onto the adjacent wall, the web catching with a faint, sticky smack, and for one absurd second all you can think is that even upside down and half-bleeding heâs still showy.Â
Then he launches and whatever restraint Gojo had been fighting with until now is gone.Â
The host lunges towards you but you donât flinch. Thereâs simply no fight in your body anymore. Not that it matters because Spiderman meets him in the centre of the gallery.Â
What had looked clumsy and desperate when Gojo was still trying to pass for your average citizen becomes something else entirely now that heâs abandoned his facade. His body understands the room in ways you never could, every rail, every shattered edge, every unstable surface becomes a part of him when the web attaches to it, part of the fight. He lips under the hostâs first strike and plants a hand against the flood tile, driving both feet into its chest hard enough to send it skidding backward through the water.Â
He flicks his wrists out before the host can recover, pinning one arm to a fractured support beam, another line catching its ankle.Â
The black slick surges and peels away from the first web, but it's too slow. Spiderman is already gone from where he was, slinging upward into the steam and dropping back down from above with enough force to slam the hose into the floor.Â
The black mass writhes and lashes and tries to reform over the hostâs body, but now there is no hesitation in the man fighting it, no room left for restraint. Spiderman moves with frightening precision, using every opening, every recoil, every half-second where the thing peels back under heat and sound. He webs one wrist, then the throat, then the opposite shoulder, dragging the host back into the pressure line each time he tears free. The slick recoils violently, shrieking, trying and failing to hold together.
Was it just you but did it look like Gojo was taking his frustration out on this thing?Â
Your mind keeps trying and failing to fit the pieces together. It all comes together anyway, the way Gojo had always disappeared at the wrong times, the way Spidermanâs voice had felt familiar even when you told yourself that was ridiculous and known things about you he couldnât have. The way he touched you, the way the other never quite did, not completely, as if afraid of what would happen if he started.Â
All of it was him. Every humiliating, infuriating, impossible piece of it.Â
The host tears free one last time, black goo surging over his chest in a final desperate wave. But by now, it should learn that doing something over and over again is a sign of insanity because Spiderman is already there.Â
A webline catches high overhead and with a yank, the hanging steam pipe drops lower. Another shot takes the alarm cable and rips it loose in a shower of sparks. He drives forward, one hand wrapped around his web, the other braced against the hostâs chest, and hurls him back into the flooded floor beneath the full force of the steam.Â
The black mass writhes and shrieks then tears free all at once. It peels from the manâs body in one final, violent shudder and streaks away through the fractured wall paneling, vanishing into the dark beyond the gallery even as Spiderman attempts to stop it.Â
Then the host collapses, dead.Â
Then nothing. Of course, not complete silence as the alarms still ring and water still drips. But between the two of you, across the room now suddenly empty of the thing that had stood there, there is a different kind of stillness.Â
Spiderman straightens slowly. He stands in front of the steam and the ruin and the broken shark glass, chest heaving, mask still over the face you now know too well, and even from here you can see the way his body sags just slightly under the cost of what heâs just done.
You stare at each other, the gap between endlessly vast until you decide to close it.Â
Your shoes drag through the floodwater, sending up ugly little splashes with every step, and by the time you reach him, any dignity you might have salvaged from the reveal is long dead and buried beneath three inches of fish water. He stands there waiting, one hand hanging at his side while the other presses hard against his ribs.Â
Your hands fist the front of his hoodie and he lets you.
âYou are the biggest liar I have ever met in my entire life,â you say, voice trembling with the weight of everything.Â
SpidermanâGojoâlets out a weak laugh. âThat sounds about right.â
You yank the mask up without another word.Â
It catches for half a second on his nose before sliding free, damp and warm in your hand, and there he is. Just Satoru now. Heâs pale, soaked through, hair plastered to his forehead, lips parted around the hard pull of his breathing. Thereâs blood at the corner of his mouth and more blooming darkly beneath his hoodie where heâd been hit, but his eyes are on you and only you with that same awful, naked openness they had before he put the mask on.
âSatoru,â you say, and his name comes out rough, almost wounded.
His eyes lift to yours at once, terrified of what he might find there.Â
You slap him. And honestly, compared to everything he went through less than a minute ago, compared to what he deals with everyday, youâd call the slap a puny, pathetic hit. Still, the hand from his side flies up to cup his cheek, looking more startled than in pain.Â
âThat,â you start,â is for lying to me.â
He gapes at you wordlessly.Â
Then all at once, the rest of it rises inside youâthe fear, the relief, the horrible rush of seeing that black strike coming at you and knowing, with perfect clarity, that Gojo would throw it all away to save you, even if it meant revealing his identity.Â
You lift your hand again but this time not to strike. Instead, your fingers brush his jaw, trembling against the damp skin there, tracing the shape of him you thought you knew so well. You feel his pulse leap, hear his breath catch.Â
âThis,â you whisper, steadier now that you know this is what you want, âis for saving me.âÂ
You go up on your tippy toes, lean forward, and kiss him.Â
Gojo freezes, arms held out in the air as he pieces together the scene. Youâre not mad, well maybe youâre mad, but youâre over that now because youâre kissing him. Wait, youâre kissing him? Then what is he doing just standing there?Â
A soft, startled sound escapes him, swallowed immediately by your mouth, before heâs drowning in it. The kiss turns desperate, all relief and fear and weeks of restrained feeling collapsing into one reckless, aching moment.Â
One wraps around your waist and the other catches at your back, hauling you flush against him with desperation. You feel the wound in his ribs in the way his body tightens, the way his breath catches sharply through his nose, but he ignores it completely, pressing you closer like he needs the proof of you there, solid and real and choosing him.
When you finally pull back, itâs only because breathing becomes a necessity again.Â
His forehead knocks against yours, his eyes fluttering close as he rests there, panting.Â
The alarms are still going off somewhere beyond the ruined gallery. Water still laps around your ankles, cold and foul and full of things you would rather not identify. Security is shouting in the distance, voices getting closer, but here, in this stupid little pocket of aftermath, the world has narrowed down to the heat of his hands on you and the shape of his breath fanning over your mouth.
When he finally opens his eyes again, he looks a little dazed. Not concussed, though probably that too.
âYou kissed me,â he says, and his voice comes out low and rough and almost disbelieving. âAfter everything?â
You stare at him. âDo you want me to take it back?â
His hands tighten instinctively at your waist. âNo!â The answer leaves him quickly before he swallows, eyes flickering over your face to gauge your response. âNo, please donât do that.âÂ
âIâm still angry at you, you know.âÂ
âI know.â
âYou lied to me.â
âI know.â
âYou kept lying to me.â You stop. âYou also knew. This entire time you knew and you just played me twice over.âÂ
He winces a little at that. âYeah. That oneâs harder to defend.â
His gaze drops to your mouth for half a second before climbing back to your eyes, slower this time, more careful.
âI kept thinking thereâd be a better time to tell you,â he says. âA version of this where I could do it right. Then every time I almost said something, it got harder because the longer I waited, the worse it got, and I knew that. I knew I was making it worse, I justâI was scared. It was easier for me that way but I also know it was cowardly and Iâm sorry.â
You nod once. âAnd?âÂ
âAnd?â he repeats before he catches the disapproving look in your eyes and starts scrambling for more. âAnd⌠Iâm sorry forâwell. Actually Iâm not sorry about that part.â
You hit him lightly on the arm. âSay youâre sorry for deceiving me.â
âRight, right. Sorry for deceiving you.âÂ
âAnd that you wonât do it again.âÂ
âAnd I wonât have sex with you in the Spiderman suit again.â
You hit him again but your mouth twitches before you can stop it, the familiarity of the banter easing the uncertainty. He catches it, of course, that tiny almost-smile, and his expression softens.
âI really am sorry,â he says again. âFor all of it. The disappearing. The missed presentation. The lies. Being me, I guess.â
âBeing you is, unfortunately, one of your biggest issues.â You pause, eyes flickering down to his lips. âBut I think Iâm willing to work around that one.âÂ
You watch his eyes drop to your mouth in turn, watch the decision happen in him, quiet and unmistakable. He leans in first this time, just enough for his breath to warm your lips, just enough to make your pulse trip over itselfâ
âTheyâre in here somewhere!â
The shout tears through the gallery from the corridor behind you, followed immediately by the unmistakable chaos of multiple people splashing through floodwater at once.
âPlease save them!â
âUtahime,â Suguruâs voice says, strained and much closer now, âif you scream at the police one more time, theyâre going to leave us hereââ
You jerk back so fast you nearly headbutt him and then his maybe concussion would have been a definite one.
Gojo blinks at you, dazed and breathing hard, his mouth still parted from the kiss you almost had before he too regains his senses and pulls back just enough to stop sharing the same air. Then, the both of you turn to that tunnel.
Utahime barrels into the gallery first, wild-eyed and soaked,hands cupping around her mouth as she calls your names, the wound on her leg now wrapped up. Shoko walks in right behind her with a tight expression that immediately crumbles at the scene. Geto is just behind them followed by two officers and what appears to be the entire remaining aquarium emergency staff.
You shove the mask still in your hand into your pocket, fingers fumbling once against the wet fabric, but donât do much more to break away from the incriminating position. His hand is still on your waist, your own fingers are still hooked into the front of his hoodie, and your chest is pressed flush against his.Â
Shoko is the first to say something. âWell. I guess you guys did make up after all.âÂ
âDid this happen before or after you took the crazy madman down?â Utahime says, deciding that is the most important detail to clarify.Â
âAre you two not done yet or should we come back in a bit?âÂ
Itâs Getoâs words that finally has you pulling apart, blushing madly and eyes looking frantically away from each other.
And when the police finally reach the two of you, shouting over one another and very tactfully ignoring your swollen lips, you feel something brush against your hand. Gojoâs fingers curl carefully around yours, warm and tentative despite everything, and, more importantly, despite the very audible snickering coming from your right where your friends have been herded aside to let the officers work, you lace your fingers through his without hesitation.
Because with Gojoâs thumb brushing against the side of your hand while an officer asks if either of you can walk unassisted, itâs hard to feel like the world is ending anymore. You had spent so long acting like meeting Gojo Satoru on March 15th at 10:12am was the beginning of your personal apocalypse. Granted, he is still infuriating and he is still a liar. But standing there in a flooded aquarium with his hand in yours and his blood on his shirt and a superhero mask hidden in your pocket, you canât help thinking maybe youâd been a little dramatic.
Or maybe not. Maybe the world really had ended when you met Gojo Satoru. Itâs just that, now that youâve survived the aftermath, youâre starting to think the next one might be better.
a/n: PHEWW thank u for making it to the end! this has been the unwanted child in my drafts for three whole years and rewriting it was a pain considering how unfunny i was but if thereâs one less lonely girl in the world then itâs worth it <3 this was a lot longer but i had to cut down for tumblrâs character limit âšď¸ rip to all the shoko + utahime silly scenes and the injured spiderman scene and the lab satoru scene and theâ[GUNSHOT] regardless !! shoutout to flatline as always and to all the national days we missed the deadlines to <3 see you guys on the 28th for national burger day on this fine burger month đ
it's in his DNA to be a menace, so can Gojo really be mad that his toddler inherited that from him? II Gojo Satoru x fem!reader
Gojo Satoru is fatally, insanely, completely head over heels for you.Â
To this day, he maintains that. Heâll tell everybody he knows of the joys of knowing you â and no, heâs not being sarcastic when he says that.Â
Though, if there was one thing he could almost cry about, it would be this.Â
See, if thereâs one thing Gojo Satoru loves to do, itâs to tease his two girls. And thatâs exactly what heâs doing to the tinier one, the mini you x him, this morning.Â
âHere comes the choo choo train.â Satoru guides the sweet potato closer, and her cute little babbles fill the air. It seems like his little munchkin inherited his sweet tooth. And just as the delightful dollop reaches his sweet girl, he pulls the spoon back with a grin.Â
âDada!â She crosses her chubby arms (and briefly, he thinks she looks like the Michelin man, and his grin grows bigger), eye twitching and face in a pout that screams âiâll remember this betrayalâ.Â
âSatoru,â you chide, and he turns to face you. Youâre leaning on the kitchen counter, arms crossed just like your daughter. Sunlight streams in through the adjacent open window, lighting the edges of your hair with that ethereal glow that makes his head explode and his heart ache. âThat choo choo train is going to derail.âÂ
âIâm an excellent driver, thank you,â he replies, readjusting his grip on the spoon like itâll prove his point, and if you ask him, it does. âIâm sorry, sweetheart, hereâŚâ Satoru glides the spoon through the air again, and just like that, your daughter is giggling and clapping her hands again. So sweet, so trusting, that Satoru almost regrets his next move.Â
At the last second, he yanks the spoon away again, and this time, heâs dodging tiny fists like his life depends on it. He canât help it, he only laughs louder â loud, belly-aching, cheek-pulling, laughter that infects you too, as you giggle behind your hand. When he takes a peek at your darling daughter once again, itâs like rage is bubbling through her â well, all the rage someone of her size can muster.Â
âSatoru.âÂ
But his name didnât come from you. Itâs grumbled out by the tiny cherub in front of him, and the colour drains from his face as Satoruâs heart falls to the floor.Â
His laughter cuts off â replaced by frantic attempts to placate his rascal, arms held up like in surrender â but yours only grows. And it seems like your approval, and his dismay, fuels the little gremlin, because she opens her mouth again â no doubt to spout that horrific name again.Â
âNo, no,â he coos, desperate now. âSweetheart, Iâm dada. Dad. Papa. Father.â He wrinkles his nose at the last one. âActually angel, donât say father. Itâs too serious.âÂ
Your baby girl turns her nose up at him, clearly not amused, and Satoru busies himself with scooping a heapful on the spoon â his apology. âHere, for real this time, eat up..â She turns her cheek again â because fool me once, shame on you, but fool me twice⌠â and the mashed sweet potato smears all over her cheek like an accidental streak of paint.Â
And for the second time this morning, Satoru has to stifle his laughter, slapping a hand over his mouth as laughter threatens to escape. But your daughter, oh your sweet daughter, sheâs glaring at him with an anger strong enough to buckle his knees.Â
âGojo.â Itâs like the last name comes out in slow motion â choppy, lower, said with defiance and with the intention to reprimand her dad so badly he will never try her again.Â
And worse yet, sheâs not just angry, sheâs disappointed. Those big blue eyes (and for the thousandth time this week, Satoru understands how others feel when he looks at them), shining with gleeful revenge.Â
âOh, Gojo.â She shakes her head side to side with a pout that could bring nations crumbling down with the sheer of disapproval.Â
Gojo?Â
âYouâre Gojo too!â And now heâs the one pouting, caught up in a fight with a toddler that both she and he know that sheâll win. Satoru whips his head in your direction â youâre in hysterics now â accusation in his stare, and a silent plea for help. And you know him, you know him, so he knows that youâre ignoring his cries for assistance in favour of holding yourself up by the bench.Â
Betrayed by his two favourite people in one day.Â
Satoru lets out a dramatic sigh, slumping in his chair at being struck by this final blow. Your daughter huffs, victorious, her tiny fists pumping into the air in her high chair, like a tiny general whoâs just conquered an empire. And Satoru doesnât even have time to claim the triumph that she picked up that emote from him.Â
And suddenly, you swoop in like an angel from the sidelines, finally having caught your breath on the sidelines. Stepping forward, you take the spoon from his limp hand and gently scoop up the sweet potato.Â
âHere, sweetheart,â you coo, smelling something sweet that he canât name (maybe itâs just you), that he wants to eat up all the same. Your dear daughter accepts the spoonful without hesitation, though, she makes a point to side eye her defeated dad when she does. And then, her little pout melts into a satisfied smile, as she munches happily.Â
Satoru watches her eat, deflated but completely smitten, and when he turns to you again, he finds you already looking at him â soft hair framing your face like the beautiful art he knows you are â with that knowing, star-filled gaze that always undoes him.Â
âYouâll pay for this,â he warns weakly, pointing at you with an exaggerated menace.Â
You just laugh again, and lean down to press a small, soft kiss to his forehead â and just like that, heâs forgiven you. âGood luck, Gojo.â
âYouâre Gojo too,â he groans, though, his arms wrap about your waist, pulling you closer despite his wounded pride.Â
And in that warm kitchen, sunlight pooling around all three of you, he realises he wouldnât trade this â the chaos, the tiny betrayals, the teasing that only comes from unconditional love â for anything in the world.Â
Not now. Not ever.Â
Š 2026 lolalied. all characters belong to gege akutami. do not plagiarise, feed my work into any AI systems, translate, or repost my work to any platforms
repost! thank you for reading! likes, comments, and reblogs appreciated <3 mwah ily
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a curse hits gojo when he is on a mission with you, causing him to turn into a cat! now he has to be in your care for an undetermined amount of time, which is a problem because he is desperately in love with you.
contents. gojo satoru x fem!reader ⢠fluff ⢠cat gojo ⢠yearner gojo ⢠down bad gojo lmao ⢠some angst ⢠attempts at humour ⢠~17k words ⢠also can you guys tell i did the ears in the pics myself??? jahsjahq
THE mission had been simple. exorcise a low-grade curse in an abandoned warehouse on the edge of tokyo, maybe file a report, maybe grab lunch after. that was what gojo had been thinking about as he stepped through the broken doorwayâlunch. specifically, whether youâd let him drag you to that new ramen place or if youâd put your foot down and insist on something with vegetables.
he should have known better. things were never simple with him.
the curse had been small, unassuming: a blob of shadows and static that barely registered on his six eyes. heâd let you handle it, hanging back with his hands in his pockets, watching the way you moved through the dim light. you were good, really good. he liked watching you work. the sharp focus in your eyes, the way your cursed energy flickered like a heartbeat.
but then the curse had done something unexpected. instead of attacking, it had shriekedâ a sound that scraped against his skull like nails on a chalkboardâ and exploded into a cloud of purple-black smoke. gojo had thrown an arm up instinctively, infinity flickering for just a fraction of a second too late.
the smoke had gotten in. through his mouth, his nose, his eyes. heâd coughed, stumbled, and then everything had gone sideways.
literally. the world had tilted, the ground rushing up to meet him, except the ground was suddenly much closer than it should have been. his clothes had pooled around him in a heap of fabric, and when heâd tried to step out of them, his body had moved wrong. all wrong. four points of contact instead of two. a tail. fur.
heâd looked downâ down at paws, white-furred pawsâ and the last thing heâd heard before consciousness slipped away was your voice, sharp with alarm, calling his name.
when gojo woke up, it was to the smell of rain and old concrete. he was tucked into a corner of the warehouse, half-hidden behind a collapsed shelf, and he was still a cat.
a white cat, he realized, lifting a paw to inspect it. white fur, blue eyes; because of course even as a cat heâd have the six eyes, the same impossible blue staring back at him from the cracked surface of a puddle nearby. he was small, too. not a kitten, but not much bigger than one. his tail flicked once, twice, a test. it worked. everything worked, just⌠differently.
what the hell, he thought, except what came out was a confused little mrrp?
he tried to speak. opened his mouth, focused, pushed words up his throat and got a squeaky meow for his efforts. great. fantastic. this was fine. he was gojo satoru, the strongest sorcerer in the world, and heâd been turned into a cat by a curse so weak it shouldnât have been able to touch him.
he sat down heavilyâ or as heavily as a cat could sitâ and wrapped his tail around his paws. okay. okay. he could work with this. the curse had dissipated after that explosion, so the threat was gone. all he had to do was wait. someone would find him. probably you. youâd been right there, after all.
as if on you, he heard it! your voice, distant but getting closer, threading through the rain and the rubble.
âgojo! gojo, where are you? this isnât funny!â
he should have meowed. he should have made some kind of noise to lead you to him. but instead he just sat there, frozen, as your footsteps grew louder. because you sounded worried and you never worried about him. you always said he was too strong to worry about, too annoying to miss. but your voice was tight, fraying at the edges, and when you came into view, picking your way through the debris, he could see your face.
you looked scared for him.
gojoâs chest did something strange. tight and warm and aching all at once, a feeling heâd been trying to ignore for months now. he liked you. more than liked you. liked you in the way that made him offer to go on missions with you even when he didnât have to, liked you in the way that made him linger after training just to hear you laugh, liked you in the way that kept him up at night staring at his ceiling and thinking about the curve of your smile.
and now you were here, kneeling in the dust, your hands shaking as you pushed aside a broken plank of wood. your eyes swept the corner where he was hiding, passed over him, then snapped back.
âoh my god,â you whispered.
gojo blinked at you. you blinked back.
âgojo?â you said, and he could hear how stupid you felt saying it to a cat, but also how desperate. âis that⌠is that you?â
he meowed. it was the only thing he could do. but he made it countâ looked you right in the eyes and meowed with as much yes, itâs me, you idiot as he could pack into a single syllable.
your breath caught and then you were moving, scooping him up off the ground with careful hands, cradling him against your chest. you were warm, warmer than heâd expected. your heartbeat was fast, rabbiting against his side where you held him, and your fingers were trembling as they smoothed over his fur, dusting him off.
âwhat happened to you?â you asked, your voice cracking. âyouâre so small. youâreâgod, youâre a cat. how are you a cat?â
gojo wanted to say something reassuring and to tell you he was fine, that this was just a minor inconvenience, that heâd be back to his annoyingly handsome self in no time, but all that came out was a soft, pathetic mew, and you made a sound like your heart was breaking.
âokay,â you said, pulling yourself together with visible effort. âokay. iâve got you. iâve got you, satoru. iâm taking you to shoko.â
he pressed his face into the crook of your elbow and let you carry him out into the rain. it was all still confusing for him too, despite how strangely calm he was feeling.
the trip to jujutsu high was a blur of motion and muffled sounds. youâd wrapped him in your jacket to keep him dry, and heâd let you, even though it was undignified and he was pretty sure his tail was sticking out at a weird angle. you ran most of the way, your cursed energy flaring with urgency, and gojo spent the journey trying not to think about how close your hands were to him and how gently you held him.
shoko was in her office when you burst through the door, soaked and breathless and holding cat-him like he was the most important thing in the world.
âshoko,â you said, âyou need to look at him. itâs gojo. heâs a cat. a curse turned him into a cat.â
shoko raised an eyebrow. took a long drag of her cigarette. exhaled.
âyouâre serious,â she said.
âdo i look like iâm joking?â
shoko looked at you, looked at the cat⌠uh, him. the catâ gojoâ met her gaze with unmistakably familiar blue eyes, and something in her expression shifted. she stubbed out her cigarette and gestured to the examination table.
âput him there.â
you did, reluctantly, your hands lingering on his fur for a moment before you stepped back. gojo sat on the cold metal table and tried to project as much dignity as possible. it was difficult when he came up to shokoâs elbow.
shoko examined him. she didnât do muchâ a flash of reversed cursed technique, a long look at his eyes, a gentle press of fingers along his spine. gojo tolerated it because it was shoko, and because he trusted her, and because he could see you watching from the corner of the room with your arms wrapped around yourself like you were holding in a scream.
âwell?â you said, the moment shoko stepped back.
âitâs a curse,â shoko said, reaching for another cigarette. âa transformation-type. annoying, but not dangerous. his bodyâs fine, his soulâs still his, which is the important part. the curse is embedded pretty deep, but itâs already degrading. iâd say a week, maybe two, and heâll change back on his own.â
âa week or two,â you repeated. âheâs going to be a cat for a week or two.â
âunless you find the original curse user and force them to undo it, but thatâs a needle in a haystack situation. my advice? stock up on cat food and patience.â
you made a sound that was half-laugh, half-groan. gojo meowed an indignant sound, because cat food? he was not eating cat food. heâd rather starve.
shoko glanced at him and he could have sworn she was hiding a smile. âone more thing,â she said, turning back to you. âsince you were the one with him when it happened, and since his cursed energy is going to be⌠letâs say unstable while the curse runs its course, youâre going to have to look after him. keep him close. your energy will help stabilize his while he heals.â
you blinked. âwhat? me? why me?â
âbecause you were there. proximity matters with this kind of curse. his system is already keyed to yours. if anyone else tried to take care of him, it could prolong the transformation or cause complications.â shokoâs voice was flat, clinical, but her eyes flicked to gojo for just a moment. âcongratulations. youâre a cat sitter.â
gojo watched your face cycle through about seventeen different emotions. surprise. worry. reluctance. and then, underneath all of it, something softer. something that made his heartâ his tiny, cat-sized heartâ skip a beat.
âfine,â you said finally, reaching out to scoop him off the table. you held him against your chest again, and he shuddered at how much he liked it and how right it felt. âfine. but youâre helping me buy supplies, shoko. i donât know the first thing about cats.â
âneither does he,â shoko said, nodding at gojo. âthis is going to be entertaining.â
gojo wanted to flip her off. he settled for a hiss, which was deeply unsatisfying and only made shoko laugh.
you carried him out of the office and through the halls of jujutsu high, and gojo tried to focus on the practicalities. a week or two as a cat. he could handle that. heâd handled worse. but then you looked down at him, your expression soft in a way you never let him see when he was human, and you said, âdonât worry. iâve got you.â
and gojo realized, with a sinking feeling, that this was going to be the longest two weeks of his life.
because he was in love with you. completely, stupidly, helplessly in love with you. and now he was going to spend every moment of the next fourteen days pressed against your side, unable to tell you, unable to do anything except meow and hope you didnât notice how he looked at you.
⌠your apartment was small. gojo had never been inside it beforeâ you were private about your space, always deflecting when he offered to walk you home or come over after missions, but now here he was, deposited on your couch while you rummaged through a bag of supplies shoko had helped you pick up on the way.
a litter box. cat food. a small bed youâd grabbed on impulse, even though gojo had already decided he wasnât going to use it. a brush. some toys.
âthis is insane,â you muttered, pulling out a bag of dry food and staring at it in bewilderment. âyouâre gojo satoru. youâre supposed to be untouchable. how did a cat curse get you?â
gojo meowed. it was a fair question, honestly. heâd been distracted, watching you.
you sighed and sat down on the couch next to him, the cushions dipping under your weight. for a moment, you just looked at him. at his white fur, his blue eyes, the way his tail curled around his paws.
âyouâre still you in there, right?â you asked quietly. âyou can understand me?â
he meowed again, and bumped his head against your hand. your breath hitched in wonder, yet soon you were petting him, your fingers sliding through his fur in slow, careful strokes. it felt good. embarrassingly good. gojoâs eyes half-closed before he could stop them and a low rumble started in his chest.
was he⌠purring?
oh god. he was purring. he was purring because you were petting him, and he couldnât stop, and you were smiling nowâ a sweet smile, soft and wondering, the kind heâd do anything to see.
âyouâre kinda cute like this,â you said, and gojo wanted to die. âdonât tell me i said that when you turn back.â
he filed that away for later. you think heâs cute. he was never, ever letting you forget it.
you kept petting him as the evening stretched on, and gojo let himself relax into the touch. it was fine. this was fine. he was just⌠gathering information. observing. definitely not enjoying the way your thumb brushed behind his ears or the quiet sound of your breathing as you settled deeper into the couch.
a week or two, shoko had said. a week or two of this. of you.
gojo closed his eyes and purred, trying not to think about how hard it was going to be to go back to normal after this. how much he was going to miss the weight of your hand on his fur, the softness in your voice when you said his name. but that was a problem for later.
-> day 1
gojo woke up slowly, consciousness filtering back in fragments. the couch was soft beneath him, softer than he expected, with a blanket that smelled like you draped over his small body. he stretched, arching his back the way cats did, and froze mid-stretch as the events of yesterday came crashing back.
right. he was a cat.
he blinked his eyes open, the world sharp and muted all at once in that strange way cat vision worked. your apartment was quiet, morning light slanting through the curtains in pale gold stripes. and then he heard a door creaking open, soft footsteps on wooden floors.
gojo turned his head and every thought in his brain promptly fell out and scattered across the floor.
you were standing in your bedroom doorway, and you were... you were barely dressed. sleep-rumpled hair falling across your face, an oversized t-shirt hanging off one shoulder, shorts that rode up your thighs. you were scratching lazily at your neck, eyes half-closed, clearly not fully awake yet. and your shirtâ your thin, worn-out, very comfy-looking shirtâ clung to you in a way that left absolutely nothing to the imagination.
gojo could see everything.
well, not everything, not really, but enough that his cat-heart started hammering against his ribs, enough that he felt heat rush to his face even though he was covered in fur and you couldnât possibly tell. your nipples were visible through the fabric, soft shadows in the morning light, and you seemed completely unaware. you yawned, stretched your arms above your head, and the shirt rode up higher, exposing a strip of your stomach.
gojo made a sound, a small, strangled mrrp that he immediately regretted.
you didnât even look at him. just shuffled past the couch toward the bathroom, bare feet padding on the wood, and closed the door behind you with a soft click.
the bathroom door.
the bathroom.
gojo stared at the closed door for a long moment, his brain still short-circuiting. then his body reminded him, with an uncomfortable urgency, that he hadnât used the bathroom since before the mission yesterday. that he was, in fact, a living creature with biological needs. and that somewhere in your apartment, there was a litter box.
he looked at it. shoko had made you buy one, a small plastic rectangle filled with gray sand-like pellets. it sat in the corner of your kitchen, pristine and unused, waiting for him.
no.
absolutely not.
he was gojo satoru. he was not going to squat in a box of sand like some common house pet. he had standards. he had dignity. he would wait.
so he waited. curled on the couch, tail twitching, ears flicking, every instinct screaming at him to find dirt and dig. the minutes crawled by. you were taking forever. what were you even doing in there? brushing your teeth? hair? he didnât care. he just needed you to leave so he could use the toilet like a civilized being.
finally, the bathroom door opened. steam curled out, carrying the scent of your soap, and you emerged in a cloud of warmth. your face was damp, hair pulled back now, and youâd put on a bra. gojo tried not to feel disappointed about that.
âmorning, cat,â you mumbled, not really looking at him as you headed for the kitchen. âhope you slept okay.â
gojo didnât wait. he launched himself off the couch, four paws hitting the floor, and sprinted for the bathroom before you could ask questions. he slipped through the gap in the doorâ youâd left it open a crackâ and landed on the cold tile floor.
the toilet loomed above him like a porcelain mountain.
okay, he could do this. he was smart. he was resourceful. heâd figure it out.
he jumped onto the small step stool you kept by the sink and from there onto the edge of the sink. the toilet was close now. close enough.
gojo gathered himself, calculated the distance, and leaped.
he misjudged.
the rim of the toilet was narrower than heâd thought, and his paws slipped on the smooth porcelain. for one glorious second he balanced, teetering on the edge, and then gravity remembered he was a cat and not, in fact, immune to its laws.
he fell straight into the water.
it was so cold. shockingly, insultingly cold. gojo splashed and scrambled, claws scrabbling against the sides of the bowl, but the porcelain was too slick and he was too small and the water was rising up to his chinâ
âwhat theââ
you were in the doorway. your eyes were wide, your mouth open, and for a moment you just stared at the absolute disaster unfolding in your toilet.
âoh my god,â you said. then you were moving, crossing the bathroom in two steps, and your hands were in the water, around his small wet body, lifting him out. âoh my god, gojo, what were you thinking?â
he was dripping, soaking wet, cold, humiliated, and thoroughly pathetic. water streamed off his white fur in rivulets, and he was pretty sure there was something stuck to his tail that he didnât want to think about.
you held him at armâs length, your expression cycling through horror, disbelief, and something that looked suspiciously like suppressed laughter.
âthe toilet,â you said. âyou tried to use the toilet.â
he meowed. it was a defensive meow, a donât judge me meow, but it came out small and wet and miserable.
you bit your lip as your shoulders shook and a second later you were laughing; full-body laughter that bent you double and made tears spring to your eyes. you laughed so hard you had to set him down on the bath mat, and even then you kept laughing, clutching your stomach, gasping for air.
gojo sat in a puddle of toilet water and glared at you with all the dignity he could muster, which was not much, considering he was dripping and shivering and his tail was doing that weird puffy thing cats did when they were upset.
âiâm sorry,â you wheezed, not sounding sorry at all. âiâm sorry, iâm notâitâs not funnyââ
actually, it was funny. he knew it was funny. if the roles were reversed, heâd be laughing so hard heâd pass out. but that didnât mean he had to like it.
you finally got yourself under control, wiping your eyes with the back of your hand. âokay. okay, iâm done. iâm sorry. letâs get you cleaned up.â
you scooped him up again, more carefully this time, cradling him against your chest even though he was wet and probably smelled like toilet water. you didnât seem to care. you carried him to the sink and turned on the warm water, testing the temperature with your elbow before you lowered him in.
âdonât scratch me,â you warned and he didnât. as if he would. he sat in the sink and let you run water through his fur, let you pump soap into your palm and work it through every inch of him, because your hands were gentle and warm and he was too embarrassed to do anything else.
âyou have to use the litter box,â you said as you rinsed him off, your voice softer now. âi know you donât want to. i wouldnât want to either. but youâre a cat right now, gojo. your body works like a catâs. you canâtââ you paused, biting your lip again. âyou canât keep trying to use the toilet. youâre too small. youâll fall in again.â
he meowed. it was a defeated meow, an i know meow, that made your face soften.
âlook,â you said. âiâll put it somewhere private, okay? somewhere you donât have to feel weird about.â
you wrapped him in a towel afterwardsâ one of your towels, soft and worn and smelling like lavenderâ and rubbed him dry while he sat on the bathroom counter, limp and exhausted and strangely light. the humiliation was still there, burning under his skin, but so was something else. something warm.
you were being so kind to him despite the fact that he was as much of gojo as he was a small wet cat whoâd fallen in your toilet and needed help. you were kind. youâd always been kind, even when you pretended not to be, even when you rolled your eyes at his jokes and called him annoying. and gojo sat there in his towel, letting you dry between his toes, and fell a little more in love with you.
âthere,â you said finally, stepping back to admire your work. he was fluffy now, his white fur sticking up in all directions, and you laughed again, fondly. âyou look ridiculous.â
he meowed. you look beautiful, he tried to say, but it came out as a squeak.
you didnât understand. you just picked him up and carried him back to the couch, settling him on a fresh blanket, and went to make breakfast.
gojo curled into a ball and watched you move around the kitchen, and tried very hard not to think about the litter box waiting for him in the corner. he failed.
⌠you set a bowl of milk in front of him. just milk. in a little ceramic dish that youâd probably found in the back of your cabinet, the kind youâd use for dipping sauce or something.
gojo stared at it.
then he looked at you, sitting across from him at your small kitchen table with a bowl of cereal in your hands, like a normal person. you had a spoon. you were eating. the milk in your bowl looked exactly like the milk in his dish, except yours had floating bits of grain and sugar and his was just⌠milk.
he meowed. pointedly.
âwhat?â you said around a mouthful of cereal. âyouâre a cat. cats drink milk.â
he was not a cat. he was a human trapped in a catâs body, and humans did not drink milk from a dish on the floor. humans drank milk from a glass, or a mug, or at the very least a bowl that they held in their hands while sitting at a table like a civilized creature.
he walked over to your chair and pawed at your leg.
you looked down at him. âwhat? you want some of mine?â
yes. no. he wanted his own bowl of cereal, actually. he wanted to sit across from you and eat breakfast the way heâd imagined a hundred times beforeâ casual, easy, stealing pieces of fruit from your plate just to watch you roll your eyes.
but he couldnât have that so heâd settle for the next best thing.
he jumped onto the chair next to yours, then onto the table itself. you made a sound of protest, but he was already walking across the surface, navigating around your coffee mug and the morning paper, until he reached your cereal bowl.
he looked at it. looked at you. then lowered his head and lapped at the milk.
it was so good. the milk was cold and sweet, and the cereal bits that came with it added a pleasant crunch. his tongue worked in that weird cat-way, curling backward to scoop up liquid, and he couldnât help the small sound of contentment that escaped him.
âare you eating my cereal, gojo,â you said flatly. âstill got your sweet tooth as a cat?â
he meowed. yes. deal with it.
you watched him for a long moment, your spoon suspended halfway to your mouth. then you sighed that long-suffering sigh you always used around him and pushed the bowl slightly in his direction.
âfine. but weâre sharing. and youâre not getting your own bowl because iâm not washing extra dishes for a cat.â
gojo lapped at the milk again, you resumed eating from the other side of the bowl, and the two of you sat there in the morning light, sharing breakfast like it was the most normal thing in the world. he was pretty content with that.
he watched you between sips. the way your fingers curled around your spoon, the way you tucked your hair behind your ear when it fell into your face, the way your eyes kept flicking to him with something soft and wondering. you were thinking about something. he wished he knew what.
you finished the cereal before he didâ you had the advantage of a spoonâ and sat back in your chair, cradling your mug of coffee in both hands. gojo kept lapping at the milk, his tail curling contentedly behind him, and tried not to think about how domestic this felt.
âyou know,â you said quietly, âitâs weird. having you here. like this.â
he paused, milk dripping from his whiskers, and looked up at you.
âyouâre always so⌠much. when youâre human. loud and tall and everywhere. but right now youâre justââ you gestured vaguely with your mug. âyou just sit there and watch me. itâs different.â
gojo didnât know what to do with that. he meowed softly, hoping it came across as is that bad?
you shook your head, like youâd understood him. âno. not bad. just different.â
you finished your coffee in comfortable silence, and then you stood up and carried your dishes to the sink. gojo hopped off the table and followed you, because apparently his legs had decided thatâs just what he did now. followed you. everywhere.
you noticed. âare you⌠following me?â
he sat down and looked at you. yes. obviously.
you made a face, amused and flustered, and turned back to the sink. he watched you wash your dishes, the stretch of your back, the curve of your neck. you dried your hands and walked to the bathroom, and he followed there too.
âgojo,â you said, pausing at the bathroom door. âiâm going to take a shower.â
he meowed.
âyou canât come in.â
he meowed again, more indignant this time. he wasnât trying to come in. he was just⌠standing here, in the hallwa, which was a public space. you stared at him. he stared back.
âi know youâre in there,â you said finally, pointing at his small furry face. âi know youâre watching. donât be weird.â
you closed the door. gojo sat in the hallway and listened to the water run, and felt his face burn even though he was covered in fur. he wasnât being weird. he was just⌠curious about your routine and your life. about the small, private moments you never let him see when he was human.
the door opened twenty minutes later and you stepped out in a cloud of steam, a towel wrapped around your hair and another around your body. you looked down at him, still sitting in the exact same spot, and your expression did something complicated.
he meowed.
you shook your head and walked to your bedroom, and he followed there too. when you sat on the edge of your bed to dry your hair, he jumped up next to you, settling into a loaf position on your comforter. you didnât tell him to leave. you just kept drying your hair, your movements slow and practiced, and every few seconds youâd glance at him like you were checking that he was still there.
you got dressed behind the door of your closer, not before giving him a pointed look, and gojo politely looked at the wall. mostly. he was only human. well. not human right now. but his mind was human, and his mind was very aware that you were changing clothes six feet away from him, and he was very determined not to be a creep about it.
you turned around in a fresh outfit and found him staring at the wall with an intensity that would have been suspicious if you knew him better.
âokay,â you said, grabbing your bag from the desk. âi have to go. shoko wants me to help with some reports, and iâm already late.â
gojoâs ears perked up. you were leaving? now? without him?
you walked to the front door, and he jumped off the bed and trotted after you, his claws clicking on the wooden floor. you slipped on your shoes, and he sat by the door, waiting.
âgojo,â you said, looking down at him. âi canât take you with me.â
he meowed. loud. why not?
âbecause youâre a cat. i canât just show up at jujutsu high with a cat. everyone will ask questions, and shoko will never let me live it down, andââ you paused, something flickering across your face. âand itâs not safe. youâre vulnerable like this. if something happened to youâŚâ
you trailed off. gojo watched the worry settle into your features, the way your brow furrowed and your mouth pulled down at the corners. he meowed again, softer this time. i donât want to be alone.
you crouched down, bringing yourself to his level. your hand reached out, hesitant, petting him with slow strokes along his back, from the nape of his neck to the base of his tail. his eyes half-closed without permission and that stupid purr started up again, rumbling through his small chest.
âi know,â you said quietly. âi know you donât. but iâll come back early, okay? i promise. iâll finish up as fast as i can and iâll come straight home.â
you scratched behind his ears, right in that spot that made his back leg twitch, and gojo leaned into your touch like a desperate animal. which, he supposed, he was.
âbe good,â you said, standing up. âdonât destroy my furniture. use the litter box. eat the food i left you. and for the love of god, donât try to use the toilet again.â
he stood in the entryway for a long moment, staring at the closed door. the apartment felt different without youâ quieter, colder, emptier. your presence lingered in the air, in the smell of your coffee and the warmth of the spot on the couch where youâd sat, but it wasnât enough.
he wanted you back already. very pathetically. but then his ears twitched, and he looked around, a different kind of feeling creeping in.
youâd left him alone in your apartment with nothing to do for hours except⌠explore.
gojoâs tail curled up, slow and curious. this was your space; the space you never let him see, the space where you were just you, without your armour and your careful walls. and now he had unfettered access to all of it.
he walked back into the living room, looking at everything with new eyes. the books on your shelf, worn and dog-eared. the stack of dvids by the television. the blanket on the couch that youâd wrapped around him last night, still rumpled from his body.
he jumped onto the couch and sniffed the blanket. it smelled like you, like lavender and something warmer underneath, something that was just yours.
okay. okay, this was fine. this was an opportunity. he could learn things about youâ little things, private thingsâ and store them away for later, when he was human again and he could finally, maybe, do something about the way he felt.
he hopped off the couch and padded toward your bedroom, the door still open from this morning.
gojo paused at the threshold, his heart beating too fast. this felt⌠invasive. wrong. but youâd said he could roam, hadnât you? you hadnât said donât go in my room. youâd just said donât destroy your furniture and use the litter box. so he stepped inside.
your bed was unmade, the sheets tangled from sleep. your pajamasâ the t-shirt and shorts from this morningâ were draped over the back of a chair. a half-empty glass of water sat on your nightstand, next to a book with a bookmark sticking out of it. your scent was everywhere here, thick and intimate, and gojo breathed it in without meaning to.
he jumped onto your bed. the mattress was soft. the pillows smelled like your shampoo. he walked in a circle and he curled up right in the center of the warm spot where youâd slept.
he was going to learn so much about you today. he was going to open every drawer and sniff every shelf and piece together the version of you that existed when no one was watching.
and then, maybe, when he was human again, heâd know exactly how to love you.
⌠it was strange how natural it feltâ padding across wooden floors on four paws, whiskers twitching at every draft, ears swiveling toward every tiny sound. his body moved differently now, lower to the ground, more deliberate. he found himself sniffing things without meaning to. the corner of the couch. the leg of the kitchen table. the bottom of the door youâd walked through.
you smelled like coffee and soap and something faintly sweet. he filed that away.
the kitchen was first. he jumped onto the counter and walked along the edge, inspecting everything. your spice rack was organized alphabetically, which made him smile. your refrigerator was covered in magnets: a tiny mt. fuji, a cartoon sushi roll, a faded advertisement for some local festival. there were photos tucked under some of them, and gojo pressed his nose close to look.
you with shoko, both of you younger, making silly faces at the camera. you with nanami, both of you looking serious and slightly uncomfortable, like someone had forced you to pose together. you with getoâ gojoâs heart twinged at that one, old grief surfacingâ your arm around his shoulders, both of you laughing at something off-frame.
and then one of you alone. sitting on a beach somewhere, the sunset behind you, your hair blowing across your face. you looked happy. peaceful. gojo stared at it longer than he meant to.
he moved on.
the bathroom was next. he hopped onto the edge of the sink and peered into your medicine cabinet through the gap where you hadnât quite closed it. toothpaste. floss. a hairbrush with strands of your hair tangled in it. skincare products lined up in a specific orderâ cleanser, toner, moisturizer, all the same brand. a bottle of painkillers. a small box of band-aids with cartoon characters on them.
he felt like a spy, like a thief! like someone who was collecting pieces of you to keep forever.
the bedroom was the most revealing. heâd already been in there, but now he had time to really look. he jumped from the bed to your dresser, walking carefully around the scattered items on top. jewelry in a small ceramic dish. a watch with a cracked face that you never wore anymore. a folded piece of paper that he nudged open with his nose.
it was a letter. from someone named kaori. your mother, maybe? the handwriting was neat, careful, the kind of cursive that older generations used. i hope youâre eating enough, it said. you always forget to eat when youâre busy. donât work too hard. call me when you have time. love, mom.
gojoâs chest ached. he stepped away from the letter, suddenly feeling like heâd seen something he shouldnât have. but he couldnât stop. his paws carried him to your closet next, pushing the sliding door open with his head. your clothes hung in neat rowsâ work clothes on one side, casual on the other. a shelf above held folded sweaters and a shoebox that he somehow managed to knock down with his tail.
the box spilled open. photographs. lots of them.
old ones, mostly. you as a kid with missing front teeth, holding up a fish youâd caught. you as a teenager in a school uniform, looking bored at some ceremony. you with people he didnât recognizeâ friends from before jujutsu high, probably, before your life had become curses and missions and death.
and then, near the bottom, a photo of you with him.
gojo stared at it. it was from years ago, back when youâd first joined. he remembered this dayâ some group outing that yaga had organized, forcing everyone to go to an arcade. in the photo, he had his arm slung around your shoulders, too casual and close. you were laughing at something heâd said, your head tilted back, your whole face bright with it. and he was looking at you.
he was looking at you the way he always looked at you â like you were the sun. he hadnât known anyone had taken this picture. he hadnât known youâd kept it.
gojo sat in the middle of the scattered photographs, surrounded by pieces of your life, and felt something crack open inside his chest. you were so much more than heâd let himself see. you had a mother who worried about you. you had a past that didnât involve him. you had a whole world inside you that you kept hidden behind light sarcasm and rolled eyes.
he wanted to know all of it, every last bit.
the afternoon stretched on. gojo explored every room, every drawer, every hidden corner. he found the spot under your bed where youâd dropped an earring months ago and never bothered to retrieve. he found a stash of chocolate in your desk drawerâ emergency supplies, probably, for difficult days. he found a notebook in your living room, half-filled with grocery lists and random thoughts and one line that made him freeze: satoru was annoying today. i couldnât stop smiling.
he stared at that line for a full minute. then he closed the notebook with his paw and walked away, his face hot, his tail doing that weird puffy thing again.
by the time the sun started to set, gojo had mapped every inch of your apartment. he knew which floorboards creaked. he knew which window had the best view of the sky. he knew that you kept a spare key under the fake rock by the door, which was a security risk heâd be lecturing you about later.
he was curled up on the couch, when he heard footsteps in the hallway, keys jingling. your voice, muffled through the door, saying something to someone on the phone.
âyeah, i know. iâll be there tomorrow. i justâheâs alone, okay? i donât want to leave him alone for too long.â
gojoâs ears shot up. his tail started waggingâ no, cats didnât wag, they flicked, but it was definitely wagging adjacent. he jumped off the couch and ran to the door, his claws skittering on the wood, and sat there waiting as the lock turned.
the door opened and there you were. tired, your hair slightly windswept, a bag slung over your shoulder. you smelled like the outside; cool air and concrete and a hint of the coffee shop you must have passed on the way home. your eyes found him immediately, your face softening.
âhey,â you said, your voice gentle. âyou waited by the door?â
he didnât answer. couldnât answer. but his body answered for himâ launching forward, jumping up, paws reaching for you. you caught him without thinking, your arms wrapping around his small body, pulling him against your chest.
gojo buried his face in your neck and purred, embarrassingly loudly. he couldnât stop it. he pressed his forehead against your jaw and purred and purred, and your hand came up to cradle the back of his head, fingers threading through his fur.
âawe, so sweet,â you murmured. he felt the words vibrate through your throat. âgod, youâre so soft. how are you so soft?â
he meowed against your skin and you laughed, carrying him inside after kicking the door shut behind you.
you walked to the couch and sat down with him still in your arms whilst he curled up in your lap like he belonged there, because maybe he did, at least while he was a cat.
âshoko had more information,â you said, your hand stroking along his back in slow, rhythmic motions. âabout the curse.â
gojo looked up at you, his ears forward, his full attention on your face. you were staring at the wall, your expression thoughtful, your thumb tracing absent patterns through his fur.
âshe said itâs anchored to your emotional state. something about the way the curse was designedâ it feeds off⌠i donât know, attachment? connection? she used a lot of big words.â you frowned. âbasically, the more stressed or agitated you get, the longer itâll take to wear off. so you need to stay calm. relaxed. which is hilarious, considering itâs you.â
he meowed. i can be calm.
âyou literally fell in my toilet this morning.â
fair point.
you sighed, leaning your head back against the couch. your hand kept petting him, steady and soothing, and gojo felt his eyes starting to droop. the purring hadnât stopped. he wasnât sure it knew how to stop.
âshe also said your cursed energy should stabilizing,â you continued. âwhich is good. means the curse is breaking down faster than she expected. you might only be a cat for a week, not two.â
gojo felt a spike of somethingâ panic, maybe, or longingâ and forced himself to take a slow breath. he had to stay calm.
âso thatâs good news,â you said, and you almost sounded disappointed. almost. âyouâll be back to annoying me in no time.â
he wanted to tell you that he didnât want to go back. not yet. not when he had you like this, soft and unguarded, your hand in his fur and your body warm beneath him. not when heâd just started to learn who you really were.
but he couldnât so he just purred louder, pressed his face against your stomach, and let you talk.
you told him about your day. about the reports youâd filed, the mission briefings youâd sat through, the way nanami had given you a look when youâd said you had to leave early. a cat, heâd said, and youâd said yes, a cat, and heâd said itâs gojo, isnât it, and you hadnât been able to deny it
âhe knows about the mission,â you muttered. âeveryone knows. shoko told ijichiâi mean, she told everyone, basically. so now the whole school knows that gojo satoru is a cat. i hope youâre happy.â
you talked until your voice went hoarse and the sky outside turned dark, the apartment filling with shadows. and then you stood up, carrying him with you, and walked to the bathroom to brush your teeth. he sat on the edge of the sink and watched you, the way you moved through your nighttime routine with practiced ease. wash face. brush teeth. tie hair up. moisturize. the same steps, every night, a ritual heâd never seen before.
you changed in the bedroom with your back to him again while he looked at the wall like a gentleman. then you climbed into bed and held your arms out.
âcome here,â you said. âyouâre sleeping with me tonight. i donât want you falling in the toilet again.â
he should have been offended, but instead he jumped onto the mattress and walked up your bodyâ over your legs, your stomach, your chestâ and settled in the curve of your neck, his small body tucked against your shoulder. you pulled the blanket up over both of you, and your hand found his back again as the room went dark.
gojo lay there in the quiet, listening to your breathing slow, feeling the steady rise and fall of your chest beneath him. you were warm. you were safe. you were here.
for the first time in a long time, gojo felt like he was exactly where he was supposed to be.
he closed his eyes, pressed his nose against your pulse point and let the sound of your heartbeat carry him to sleep.
day 3
next two days changed a lot.
not the curseâ that was still firmly in place, still humming through his small body like a low-frequency buzz. but gojo himself had changed. adjusted. surrendered, maybe, to the strange rhythm of being a cat.
it started with the little things. the way his tail developed its own vocabulary, curling and flicking without his permission. the way he caught himself watching birds through the window with an intensity that felt almost predatory, his back legs bunching beneath him before he remembered he wasnât actually supposed to want to eat them.
by the second morning, heâd stopped trying to use the toilet.
(he used the litter box. he didnât think about it. if he thought about it, heâd die of embarrassment, so he simply didnât think about it. youâd cleaned it without comment, without teasing, and that was the kindest thing anyone had ever done for him.)
by the second afternoon, heâd figured out how to open your bedroom door. heâd launched himself at it, paws outstretched, and the door had swung open on his first try. heâd felt so proud that heâd done it three more times, just to prove it wasnât a fluke.
youâd come home to find every door in the apartment wide open, including the bathroom, and youâd stared at him with an expression caught between exasperation and genuine concern.
âwhat are you,â youâd said, âa cat or a burglar?â
heâd meowed. both. iâm both now.
but the real change was deeper than that. it was in the way he felt when you came homeâ that rush of warmth, that stupid wagging-adjacent tail, that desperate need to be in your arms. it was in the way heâd started sleeping on your chest every night, your heartbeat under his ear, your hand a warm weight on his back. it was in the way heâd stopped counting the days until he turned back.
this was the life, he thought.
he woke up on the third morningâ no, wait, the second morning? time was weird when every day was the same soft blur of naps and pets and youâ and stretched luxuriously, his front paws extending, his back arching, his tail straightening out behind him. the sun was warm on his fur. the pillow beneath him smelled like your shampoo. and you were still asleep next to him, your face slack and peaceful, your lips slightly parted.
gojo watched you sleep. heâd never admit to that when he was human, but right now, with his cat-brain humming contentedly, he let himself look. the way your lashes fanned across your cheeks. the way your hand had ended up curled near his body, like youâd been reaching for him in your sleep. the way you mumbled something unintelligible and turned your face into the pillow.
you were beautiful. heâd always known that, but seeing you like thisâ unaware, unguarded, softâ made something twist in his chest.
he leaned forward and licked your nose, just a tiny swipe of his rough cat-tongue across the tip of your nose. he didnât even think about it; his body just did it.
you scrunched up your face, snorted, and opened your eyes.
âdid you just⌠lick me?â
gojo meowed. maybe.
you stared at him for a long moment. then you laughedâ a groggy, morning laugh that turned into a yawn halfway throughâ and reached out to scratch behind his ears. âyouâre so weird. you know that? youâre the weirdest cat iâve ever met.â
he purred. thank you.
the morning passed in that easy, lazy way that mornings had started to take on. you made coffee and shared your cereal with him againâ heâd stopped pretending he didnât want itâ and he sat on the back of the couch while you scrolled through something on your tablet, your other hand absently stroking his fur.
and that was when he saw it.
your tablet. the screen was bright, glowing with text. you were reading something and your finger was scrolling, scrolling, scrolling. but more importantly, there was a keyboard. a digital keyboard, popping up when you tapped on a search bar, with letters he could theoretically press. with his paws.
gojoâs ears shot up. his tail went straight. he stared at that keyboard like it held the secrets of the universe, because maybe it did. maybe, just maybe, it held the ability to talk to you.
heâd been silent for two days. two days of meowing and purring and hoping you understood what he meant. two days of watching you guess and getting it wrong half the time. two days of wanting to tell you things and having no way to say them.
he waited until you set the tablet down to refill your coffee. the moment you turned your back, he was on itâ paws pressing against the screen, trying to figure out the pressure, the angle, the how of it all. the keyboard had popped up automatically when his paw hit the search bar, and now letters were appearing, jumbled and wrong.
aklsdhf, the screen read. qweiur.
not great. but possible.
he tried again, more carefully this time. used one claw to tap a single letter. h. yes. e. yes. l. l. o.
hello.
the word sat there on the screen, glowing and perfect, and gojoâs heart raced so fast he thought he might pass out. he could do this. he could actually do this.
you came back with your coffee, and he quickly pawed the screen clear, hiding the evidence. not yet. he wanted to wait for the right moment. wanted to say something that mattered.
for some reason, that night, you were quiet.
not the comfortable quiet of the past few days, but something heavier. something that pressed down on the apartment like a physical weight. youâd made dinnerâ rice and vegetables and some kind of fish that gojo had eyed with interest until youâd put a small piece on a plate for himâ and youâd eaten in silence, your eyes distant, your mind somewhere far away.
now you were lying on the couch, your tablet abandoned on the coffee table, your arm thrown over your eyes.
gojo watched you from the arm of the couch, his tail flicking. something was wrong. he could feel itâ the shift in your energy, the way your aura had dimmed to something small and subdued. you were sad. or lonely. or both.
he didnât like it.
he jumped down from the arm and padded across the cushions, placing one paw on your stomach, then another. you didnât move, so he climbed all the way up, settling his entire body on your belly, and tilted his head to look at your face.
you moved your arm and looked down at him. your eyes were tired, rimmed with something that might have been unshed tears if he looked close enough.
âhey,â you said softly. âwhat are you doing?â
he meowed. checking on you.
you stared at him for a long moment and sighed, your hand coming up to rest on his back as you turned your gaze to the ceiling.
âyouâre going to think this is stupid,â you said. âyouâre going to make fun of me when you turn back.â
he wouldnât, he absolutely wouldnât, but he couldnât tell you that, so he just purred and pressed his forehead against your sternum.
another long pause. your hand moved in slow circles on his fur.
âitâs justâŚâ you started, then stopped. swallowed. started again. âitâs been quiet. before you got here, i mean. my whole life has been quiet, but i didnât notice it until recently. or maybe i noticed it and i just⌠didnât want to admit how much it bothered me.â
gojoâs ears went back. he listened.
âi come home to this apartment every night and itâs empty. no one waiting for me. no one to talk to. i eat alone, i sleep alone, i wake up alone. and i told myself i was fine with that. i am fine with that. mostly.â your voice cracked, just a little. âbut then you showed up. and now thereâs someone here when i come home.â
you laughed, but it was wet. shaky.
âand i know youâre not really a cat. i know youâre gojo and i know youâre going to turn back and leave and this is all going to go away. but right now, in this moment, itâs⌠nice. having company. not being alone.â
your hand stopped moving. your breath hitched.
âi didnât know how lonely i was until i wasnât lonely anymore.â
the words hung in the air, fragile and heavy. gojo lay there on your stomach, his small body rising and falling with each of your breaths, and felt his insides churn with sadness.
he knew that feeling. he knew it so well it lived in his bones.
the strongest sorcerer in the world, and he went home to an empty apartment every night too. he ate alone. he slept alone. he woke up alone, in a bed that was too big for one person, in a house that echoed when he walked through it. he filled the silence with noiseâ with jokes and complaints and relentless teasingâ because silence was the thing he feared most.
and then there was you. there had always been you, in the background of his life, rolling your eyes at his antics and calling him an idiot. but heâd never let himself get close. never let himself want more than stolen glances and missions that took too long and excuses to be near you.
but nowâ now he was here, on your couch, on your stomach, in your life in a way heâd never been before. and you were lonely. and he was lonely. and maybe you could be lonely together, and maybe that would make it less lonely for both of you.
he wanted to tell you. god, he wanted to tell you. he wanted to jump off the couch and run to the tablet and type out everything heâd been holding in for months. iâm lonely too. iâve been lonely for years. and being with youâ even like this, even as a catâ is the least lonely iâve ever felt.
but his paws were clumsy and his heart was full. you were crying now, silent tears sliding down your temples into your hair, yet he couldnât leave you to type when you needed him here.
so he did the only thing he could do. he climbed up your chest, carefully, placing each paw with intention, until he was close enough to press his nose against your cheek. and then he licked your tears.
one. two. three.
you made a soundâ half-laugh, half-sobâ and your arms came around him, pulling him tight against your chest. you buried your face in his fur. he let you, purring as loud as he could, hoping you could feel the vibration against your skin.
âyouâre such a good cat,â you whispered, your voice muffled. âthe best cat. i hope you donât remember i said that.â
heâd remember all of it.
you fell asleep on the couch, exhausted from crying, your body curled around his. gojo stayed awake, watching the shadows move across the ceiling, listening to your breathing even out. his mind was racing, full of words he couldnât say and promises he wanted to make.
heâd tell you, not now, not like this, but soon, when he was human again and he could wrap his arms around you properly and look you in the eyes and say all the things heâd been practicing in his head for months.
iâm here. iâve always been here. and iâm not going anywhere.
he pressed his nose against your collarbone and closed his eyes, and let the promise settle in his chest like a stone.
day 5
âshoko wants to run some tests,â youâd said that morning, stuffing him into a carrier that heâd immediately protested with the most pathetic meows he could muster. âstop that. youâre being dramatic.â
he was not being dramatic. he was being cat. there was a difference.
the carrier was small and cramped and smelled like plastic, and gojo spent the entire train ride pressing his face against the mesh door, watching the world blur by.
jujutsu high looked the same as always, but everything felt different from this angle, low to the ground, the world towering above him. you carried the carrier up the steps and through the main gate, and gojoâs ears swiveled, cataloging every sound. the crunch of gravel. the distant thwack of training dummies. someone yelling, probably one of the first-years.
shoko was already there, leaning against the wall with a cigarette dangling from her lips, and the look on her face when she saw the carrier was the most entertained gojo had ever seen her.
âyou actually brought him,â she said, pushing off the wall. âi didnât think you would.â
âyou said you needed to examine him.â
âi said it would be funny to watch him squirm in a carrier.â
you shot her a humourless look, but you were already opening the door, reaching inside to scoop him out. gojo emerged into the fluorescent light of the hallway and immediately regretted everything. he was small. he was vulnerable. he was being held like a baby in front of shoko, who had seen him at his worst more times than he could count but never like this.
âmy god,â shoko said, âcanât believe that youâre the size of a guinea pig.â
gojo hissed at her. it was deeply satisfying.
âheâs feisty,â shoko observed, straightening up. âgood. the curse hasnât affected his personality.â
âcan you just do the examination?â you sighed. âheâs heavy.â
âheâs like five pounds.â
âheâs dense.â
shoko snorted and led the way to her office, and gojo endured the examination with as much dignity as he could muster. she poked and prodded, flashed lights in his eyes, pressed her fingers along his spine in that way that made his back leg twitch. she muttered things to youâ cursed energy flow is good, transformation is holding steady, no signs of degradationâ and you listened with a furrow between your brows, your hand resting on his back the whole time.
âheâll be fine soon,â shoko said finally, stepping back to light another cigarette. âjust keep doing what youâre doing.â
âwhich isâŚ?â
âkeeping him calm. relaxed. happy, if possible.â shokoâs eyes flicked to gojo, and he could have sworn she was hiding a smile. âshouldnât be too hard. he looks pretty happy to me.â
gojo meowed. mind your own business.
you didnât seem to notice the subtext. you just thanked shoko and scooped him up and carried him out of the office, and gojo thought that was the end of it. he was wrong.
because the hallway outside shokoâs office was no longer empty.
ijichi was standing there, clipboard in hand, his glasses fogging up like they always did when he was nervous. he was saying something to someoneâ nanami, maybe, or one of the assistantsâ but the moment he saw you, his mouth snapped shut.
âis thatâŚâ ijichiâs voice cracked. âis that gojo-san?â
gojo looked at him. ijichi looked back. something primal rose up in gojoâs chestâ something that had nothing to do with being human and everything to do with being a cat confronted with a very nervous, very twitchy man who had once spilled coffee on his favorite shirt.
he hissed.
ijichi made a sound like a deflating balloon and stumbled backward, his clipboard clattering to the floor.
âhe hates me,â ijichi whispered. âeven as a cat, he hates me.â
âhe doesnât hate you,â you said, but you were laughing, your shoulders shaking, and gojo felt a surge of triumph. heâd made you laugh.
he hissed at ijichi one more time, just for good measure.
you were still laughing when you turned the corner. gojo was still feeling smug, but then he saw nanami, walking down the hallway with a stack of papers in one hand and his usual expression of mild exasperation on his face. he was dressed in his work clothesâ the suit, the tie, the whole thingâ and his shoes were polished to a shine.
his pants were pressed to a crisp line.
gojoâs tail went straight. his ears went forward. his entire body tensed with the kind of focused energy that usually preceded something stupid.
âsatoru, no,â you said, but it was too late.
he launched himself out of your armsâ you werenât holding him tightly enough, too relaxed from laughingâ and hit the ground running. four paws skidding on the polished floor, claws scrabbling for purchase, and then he was moving, a white blur of fur and chaos, heading straight for nanamiâs legs.
nanami looked down. nanami saw him. nanamiâs expression did not change, which was exactly the wrong response.
gojo bit him.
not hard since he was a small cat, his teeth werenât exactly weapons of mass destruction, but hard enough to be felt. he sank his tiny fangs into the fabric of nanamiâs pant leg and held on, dangling from the cuff like a particularly aggressive accessory.
nanami stopped walking. looked down. raised one eyebrow.
âis this gojo,â he said.
âyes,â you said, running over to pry him off. âiâm so sorry. heâs been weird all morning.â
gojo held on. he didnât know why. something about nanamiâs calm, unflappable demeanor made him want to cause problems. maybe it was the cat instincts. maybe it was just gojo.
âheâs biting my pants,â nanami observed.
âi can see that.â
âheâs not letting go.â
âi can also see that.â
there was a moment of silence. gojo dangled from nanamiâs pant leg, his jaws locked, his eyes defiant. nanami looked down at him with the same expression he wore during mission briefingsâ mildly annoyed, deeply unimpressed.
âif you value your teeth, gojo,â nanami said quietly, âyou will let go.â
gojo did not let go.
you finally managed to pry his jaws openâ which was humiliating, by the way, your fingers prying his mouth apart like he was a disobedient puppyâ and scooped him up against your chest. he squirmed, trying to get back to nanamiâs pants, but you held him tight, your hand pressing firmly against his back.
âi am so sorry,â you said again, backing away. âheâs not usually like this.â
nanami looked down at the teeth marks in his trousers. looked at gojo. looked back at you.
âyes,â he said. âhe is.â
gojo watched him go with a profound sense of victory as he walked away.
you, meanwhile, were not victorious. you were embarrassed, your face flushed, your grip on him tighter than necessary as you carried him through the rest of the building. as if he was your actual pet.
âwhat was that?â you hissed at him. âyou canât just bite nanami. heâs going to bill you for those pants. do you know how much nanamiâs pants cost?â
gojo meowed. worth it.
âit was not worth it. nothing is worth nanamiâs disappointed face.â
but your voice was lighter than it had been this morning, and when you finally escaped the building and stepped outside, you were almost smiling again. gojo counted that as a win.
you didnât take him straight home. instead, you walked past the gates of jujutsu high, through the streets of tokyo, toward a part of the city he didnât recognize. the sun was warm on his fur, and the carrier was slung over your shoulder, and he had his head poking out of the top, watching the world go by.
âthereâs a park near here,â you said, almost to yourself. âi used to go there a lot. before⌠everything.â
you didnât elaborate. gojo didnât push. he just watched your profile as you walked, the way your eyes softened when you passed a bakery, the way your steps slowed when you reached a small green space tucked between buildings.
the park was tinyâ a few trees, a bench, a patch of grass that was more brown than green. but there was a fountain in the center, a small concrete thing with murky water, and sitting next to it was a cat.
a stray. orange and white, with matted fur and one torn ear. it looked up as you approached, its eyes wary, and gojo felt something shift in his chest.
âhey, baby,â you said softly, crouching down. you were already reaching into your bag, pulling out a small pouch of cat foodâ you carried cat food with you?â and shaking some into your palm. âi havenât seen you in a few days. i was worried.â
the stray cat blinked. then it stood up, stretched, and padded over to you with the casual confidence of a creature who knew it was about to be fed.
gojo watched, frozen, as the stray rubbed against your leg. as you scratched behind its torn ear and made soft, cooing sounds that youâd never made at him, not once, not even when he was being the most adorable cat in the entire world.
the stray ate from your palm. you smiled at it and gojo, from the carrier, felt something hot and irrational bloom inside.
jealousy.
he was jealous of a stray cat.
âyouâre so pretty,â you were saying to the orange-and-white menace, your fingers stroking along its matted back. âlook at you. youâve been taking care of yourself, havenât you? good job, baby.â
gojo meowed loudly. iâm right here.
you glanced at him. âwhat? you want some too?â
no. he did not want some. he wanted you to stop petting that mangy alley cat and pet him instead. he was right there, in a carrier, watching you shower affection on a creature that had done nothing to deserve it.
the stray finished eating and rubbed its face against your knuckles. you laughedâ a soft, happy soundâ and scratched under its chin.
gojo hissed.
the strayâs ears went back. it looked at him with flat, unimpressed eyes, and then it turned its back on him and pressed its head into your palm.
how dare it.
âgojo,â you said, with warning in your voice. âbe nice.â
he would not be nice. he would never be nice. not to this interloper, this pretender, this cat that was getting more of your attention in five minutes than heâd gotten all day.
the stray finished its meal and licked its paw, utterly indifferent to gojoâs rage. you stayed crouched there for a few more minutes, talking to it in that soft voice, and gojo sat in his carrier and stewed.
finally, you stood up. brushed off your knees. looked down at the stray with something like regret.
âi have to go,â you said. âbut iâll come back, okay? be safe.â
the stray meowed and walked away, disappearing into the bushes. gojo watched it go with a sense of deep satisfaction. good. it knew its place.
you picked up the carrier and looked at him through the mesh. your expression was unreadable.
âwere you jealous?â you asked.
gojo turned his head away. no.
âyou were. you were totally jealous of a stray cat.â
he was not. he was not. he was simply⌠concerned. about your safety. stray cats carried diseases.
you laughed, the sound bright and warm, and gojo felt his anger melting despite himself. you started walking again, the carrier swinging at your side, and he watched the park disappear behind you.
âdonât worry,â you said, quieter now. âyouâre still my favorite cat.â
he meowed. iâm your only cat.
âfor now,â you said. âwho knows whatâll happen when you turn back.â
gojo thought about that for the rest of the walk home. about what it would mean to be your favorite anything when he was human again. about whether the way you looked at himâ really looked at him, past the jokes and the noise and the infinityâ meant what he hoped it meant.
he didnât have answers. but he had time.
day 7
gojo had stopped counting the days until he turned back. now he was counting something else entirelyâ the number of times you smiled at him, the number of times you reached for him without thinking, the number of nights he fell asleep to the sound of your heartbeat.
but tonight, when you emerged from your bedroom, all of his counting ground to a halt.
you were dressed up. a dress, navy blue, falling just above your knees, with a neckline that made his mouth go dry. your hair was different too, curled softly around your face, and your lips were shiny with something pink and tempting.
gojo sat on the back of the couch and stared.
you were beautiful. you were always beautiful, even in your ratty sleep shirts with your hair a mess and your face bare. but this was different. this was weaponized beautiful, the kind of beautiful that made him want to crawl inside your closet and destroy every other outfit you owned so you could never wear this dress for anyone else.
âdonât look at me like that,â you said, smoothing your hands down your sides. âyouâre making it weird.â
he couldnât help it. his eyes were glued to you, tracking every movement as you checked your reflection in the mirror by the door. the dress hugged your waist. your lips caught the light. your earringsâ tiny gold hoopsâ swung when you tilted your head.
where were you going? who was this for?
you didnât tell him. you just slipped on a pair of heels and grabbed your purse, and crouched down to give him a quick pet on the head.
âbe good,â you said. âdonât destroy anything. iâll be back later.â
soon you were gone, the door clicking shut behind you, and gojo was alone in the apartment with nothing but his thoughts and the lingering scent of your perfume.
he sat in the dark for a long time, his tail wrapped around his paws, his mind spinning. a date. you were going on a date. someone else had asked you out, and youâd said yes, and youâd put on that dress and those heels and that lip gloss for someone else.
the jealousy was immediate and irrational and all-consuming.
he wanted to follow you. wanted to track you down and sit in whatever restaurant or bar you were at and glare at whoever was lucky enough to be sitting across from you. but he was a cat. a small, white, useless cat who couldnât even type properly.
he looked at the tablet, sitting on the coffee table where youâd left it. the screen was dark, but he knew it was charged. he knew how to turn it on. heâd been practicing in secret, late at night when you were asleep, tapping out messages and deleting them before you could see.
tonight, he decided. tonight he would finally do it. not because he was jealousâ okay, partially because he was jealousâ but because he couldnât wait anymore. couldnât keep all of these words locked inside his small cat body.
he jumped off the couch and padded over to the tablet. pressed the power button with his nose. the screen glowed to life, and he waited impatiently for it to wake up, his tail flicking.
the keyboard appeared. gojo took a deep breath and started typing.
it took seventeen attempts.
seventeen times he typed out the sentence, and seventeen times he messed it upâ pressing the wrong letter with his clumsy paws, hitting delete when he meant to hit space, accidentally closing the app entirely and having to start over. his claws were too long for the screen. his paws were too big for the individual keys. his patience, which had never been his strong suit, wore thin with every failed attempt.
but he kept going.
wil you go out woth me
delete. delete. delete.
will you go out woth
no.
will you go out woth me
close.
will you go out with me once iâm human again?
yes. yes, that was it. his paws were shaking, his heart was racing, and the sentence sat there on the screen in all its imperfect glory. he read it over three times, checking for mistakes. there was oneâ with was missing an h, but heâd hit the wrong key and he couldnât figure out how to fix it without messing everything up.
it would have to do.
he added a signature, because he was gojo satoru and he couldnât resist. â catoru
there. done. now all he had to do was wait.
the hours crawled by.
gojo curled up on the couch with the tablet propped against a pillow, the screen still lit, the message still waiting. he watched the door. listened for your footsteps. imagined a hundred different ways this could goâ you laughing, you blushing, you saying yes, you saying no, you throwing him out the window.
he hadnât thought about the possibility of you coming home sad.
but when the door finally opened, well past midnight, the energy that entered the apartment was wrong. heavy. deflated. your footsteps dragged on the floor, slower than usual, and when you flicked on the light, gojoâs heart sank.
your makeup was smudged. your eyes were red. and you smelled faintly of alcohol.
you didnât look at him, didnât say hello. just kicked off your heelsâ one, then the other, both landing crooked by the doorâ and dropped your purse on the floor with a thud.
gojo meowed. hey. iâm here.
âhey, gojo,â you said, but your voice was flat. wrong. you walked past the couch without stopping, heading for the bathroom, and gojo heard the sink turn on. water running. the sound of you splashing your face.
he jumped off the couch and followed you, the tablet forgotten for the moment. sat in the bathroom doorway and watched you scrub at your face with a towel, watched your shoulders shake with something that wasnât quite crying but wasnât not crying either.
âbad night?â he tried to say, but it came out as a questioning meow.
you looked at him in the mirror. your reflection was tired, your eyes puffy, your pretty lip gloss long gone.
âi got stood up,â you said, your voice cracked on the last word. âhe didnât even show. i sat there for an hour like an idiot, drinking wine by myself, waiting for someone who was never going to come.â
gojoâs chest tightened. the jealousy was still there, but it was buried under the realisation that you were sad. you were hurt. someone had made you feel small and unwanted, and gojo wanted to find that person and show them exactly what it felt like to be on the receiving end of his infinity.
but he couldnât. so he just walked into the bathroom and rubbed against your ankles, purring as loud as he could.
you reached down and picked him up, holding him against your chest. your dress was soft under his paws. you smelled like wine and disappointment and the faint remnants of your perfume.
âi had three glasses,â you admitted. âmaybe four. i lost count. and then i walked home because i didnât want to take the train and cry in front of strangers.â
you werenât crying now, but you were close. gojo could feel it in the way your breath hitched, the way your fingers trembled against his fur.
you carried him to the bedroom and set him on the bed while you changed out of the dress. gojo turned his back and listened to the rustle of fabric, the soft sound of you pulling on your sleep shirt. when he turned around, you were curled up on your side, facing the wall, your shoulders hunched.
he climbed onto the pillow next to your head and nudged your cheek with his nose.
ânot now, baby,â you whispered. âiâm tired. we can play tomorrow.â
but he didnât want to play. he wanted you to see the tablet. he wanted you to read his message. he wanted to tell you that you werenât unwanted. that someone was waiting for you. that he was waiting for you.
he meowed again. more insistent this time. pawed at your shoulder.
you sighed and rolled over, looking at him with red-rimmed eyes. âwhat? what do you want?â
he couldnât answer. so he jumped off the bed and ran to the living room, his paws skidding on the floor, and nudged the tablet with his nose. the screen had gone darkâ it had been hours, of course it hadâ and he couldnât turn it back on. couldnât show you. couldnât do anything except stand there on the coffee table, tail drooping, feeling useless.
you appeared in the doorway, watching him. your expression was tired, confused.
âwhat are you doing?â
he pawed at the tablet. meowed. pawed again.
you walked over and picked it up, turning it over in your hands. the screen stayed dark. you pressed the power button, and gojo held his breath, waiting for the message to appear, waiting for you to seeâ
nothing. the tablet was dead. out of battery, probably, because heâd left it on for hours like an idiot.
âdid you want to play a game?â you asked, and your voice was so gentle, so kind, so completely unaware of what heâd been trying to do.
gojo deflated. sat down heavily on the coffee table and wrapped his tail around his paws. no. i wanted to tell you i love you.
you picked him up anyway, cradling him against your chest, and carried him back to the bedroom. the tablet stayed behind, dark and silent, its message lost.
you climbed into bed and he curled up on your chest, the way he did every night now. your hand found his back, your fingers tracing slow patterns through his fur. you were quiet for a long time, your breathing slow, and gojo thought youâd fallen asleep.
âiâm going to be sad when you turn back,â you said, your voice barely above a whisper. âisnât that stupid? youâre gojo satoru. youâre annoying and loud and you never shut up. but youâre also⌠here. youâre always here. you sleep on my chest and you wait by the door and you make me feel like someone gives a shit whether i come home or not.â
gojoâs little heart clenched.
âand when youâre human again, itâs going to be different. youâre going to be different. youâre going to go back to your life and your missions and your stupid jokes, and iâm going to go back to being alone. and things are going to be awkward because i spent two weeks talking to you like you were a cat, telling you things iâve never told anyone, and youâre going to remember all of it.â
your voice cracked.
âyouâre going to remember all of it, and youâre going to look at me differently, and i donât know if i can handle that. i donât know if i can handle you knowing how lonely i am and pretending you donât.â
you swallowed. your hand kept moving on his back, steady and soothing, even as your eyes filled with tears.
âso yeah. iâm going to be sad. because right now, like this, youâre mine. youâre my cat and you sleep on my chest and you donât talk back and you donât judge me. and when you turn back, you wonât be mine anymore. youâll just be gojo. and gojo doesnât⌠gojo doesnât belong to anyone.â
gojo wanted to scream. wanted to claw his way out of this tiny body and wrap his arms around you and say iâm yours, iâve always been yours, iâll always be yours. but he couldnât. he could only purr, loud and desperate, and press his face against your collarbone.
âyouâre a good cat,â you whispered. âthe best cat. iâm going to miss you so much.â
you fell asleep like that, tears drying on your cheeks, your hand heavy on his back. gojo stayed awake, watching your face in the dim light, his heart so full it hurt.
he would tell you. tonight was ruined, tonight you needed sleep and comfort and the quiet presence of something that loved you. but soon. tomorrow, maybe, or the day after. he would find a way to type that message, or he would wait until he was human again and say it with his own voice.
iâm yours. iâve always been yours.
he curled up against you, his small body pressed to your chest, and closed his eyes.
day 8
gojo woke up warm.
not the usual warmth of your body pressed against his small cat form, but something deeper. fuller. his limbs felt long again, his spine straight, his handsâ
his hands.
he had fingers. ten of them, attached to palms, attached to arms that ended in shoulders that felt broad and solid beneath the blanket. his legs were tangled with yours under the sheets, and his chest was pressed against your back, and his arm was wrapped around your waist like it had always belonged there.
he was human again.
gojo lay there in the gray morning light, barely breathing, cataloging every sensation. the weight of his own body. the stretch of his skin. the familiar hum of infinity settling back into place around him like a second skin. his six eyes were online again, drinking in the world with perfect clarityâ the dust motes floating in the air, the texture of your pillowcase, the soft curve of your shoulder where your sleep shirt had slipped down.
and you. curled against him like he was something safe, your hand clutching his forearm, your breath warm against his wrist. you were still asleep, your face relaxed, your lips slightly parted.
gojo watched you and felt like his heart was going to crack right open.
he didnât move. didnât dare. this was a dream, surelyâ heâd fall through it if he breathed too hard, wake up small and furry and alone on your pillow. but your weight was solid against him, and his fingers were real when he flexed them, and the morning was too quiet and too perfect to be anything but true.
heâd turned his infinity off and turned back. sometime in the night, while heâd been curled against your chest, listening to you breathe, the curse had finally released him.
you stirred. your hand tightened on his arm, and you made a small soundâ the same sound you made every morning, the one heâd come to recognize as not yet, five more minutesâ and pressed back against him.
gojoâs breath caught.
you were so warm, and you fit against him like youâd been made to, and your sleep shirt had ridden up sometime during the night and his bare thigh was pressed against the bare skin of yours and he was very, very naked.
oh god. he was naked.
the realisation hit him like a truck. he was naked in your bed. his clothesâ his human clothesâ had been left behind in that warehouse a week ago, destroyed or lost or scattered to the wind. and now here he was, skin to skin with you, your body tucked against his like it was the most natural thing in the world.
he should move. extract himself, find a blanket, find something to preserve the last shreds of your dignity and his. but you were so comfortable, and he was so happy, and the morning light was painting gold stripes across your face, and he couldnât. couldnât move. couldnât breathe. couldnât do anything except watch you wake up.
your eyes fluttered open.
for a moment, you just blinkedâ unfocused, still half-asleep, your brain clearly not processing what your eyes were seeing. a man. in your bed. an arm around your waist. a chest against your back.
and then you saw his face.
âgood morning,â gojo said, and his voice came out wrongâ rough and low and cracked from a week of disuse, like heâd forgotten how to shape words with a human mouth. but it was his voice, his, and he watched your eyes go wide, watched the sleep evaporate from your face, watched you suck in a breath that made your whole body go rigid.
âgojo?â you whispered.
he smiled. it felt strange on his faceâ too big, too bright, too human after a week of cat expressions. but he couldnât help it. you were looking at him like he was a ghost, and he wanted to reassure you, wanted to tell you he was real.
you turned in his arms, fast. your hand came up to touch his faceâ his jaw, his cheek, the corner of his mouthâ your fingers were shaking. âyouâre human. youâreâwhen did youâhowââ
âsometime last night,â he said. his voice cracked on the last word. âi woke up like this. with you.â
you stared at him. your eyes were bright, wet, and your lips were parted, and your hand was still on his face, and gojo thought he might die if he didnât kiss you right now.
so he did.
it was clumsyâ his nose bumping yours, his lips missing their target before he corrected, his hand coming up to cup the back of your neck with fingers that still felt too new. but when his mouth finally found yours, everything else fell away.
you made a sound against his lips; a small, surprised, oh sound that melted into something softer, and then your fingers were in his hair, and you were kissing him back, and gojo satoru had never been happier in his entire life.
he pulled back too soon, his forehead resting against yours, both of you breathing hard. your eyes were closed. your lips are pink and slightly swollen, and heâd done that, heâd done that, and he wanted to do it again and again until he forgot how to do anything else.
âiâve wanted to do that for months,â he said, and his voice was still rough but he didnât care. âyears, maybe. i donât know. iâve lost track.â
you opened your eyes, looked at him. your expression was dazed, confused, overwhelmedâ all the things he was feeling reflected back at him.
âyouâre naked,â you said.
gojo laughed. it came out raw and bright, and he felt it in his chest, in his throat, in every part of him that had been small and silent for a week. âyeah. i noticed.â
âyouâre naked in my bed.â
âtechnically, iâm naked in our bed.â
you made a soundâ half-laugh, half-groanâ and pushed at his chest, enough to put a few inches between you. âgojo. satoru. you need toâyou need to put something on. i canâtâi canât think when youâreââ
âwhen iâm what?â
ânaked!â
he grinned.
âiâll find something,â he said, and he meant to get up, he really did. but his legs felt strange beneath him; weak in a way theyâd never been, unsteady after a week of four paws and a tail. he swung them over the side of the bed and stood up, and immediately his knees buckled.
you caught him. your hands on his arms, your body pressed against his side, holding him upright. âwhoa. easy. easy. youâve been a cat for a week. your body needs time to adjust.â
gojo leaned on you, more than he needed to, maybe, but you were warm and steady and he liked the way you fit against him. âiâm fine. iâm perfect. iâm better than fine.â
âyou canât stand.â
âi can stand. iâm choosing not to.â
you sighed and guided him back to the bed. he sat down heavily, the mattress dipping under his weight, and looked up at you. you were still in your sleep shirt, your hair a mess, your face flushed from the kiss. you were beautiful. you were so beautiful he couldnât look away.
âstay there,â you said. âiâll find you something to wear.â
you disappeared into the closet and gojo sat on the edge of the bed and tried to remember how to be human. his hands looked right. his feet looked right. everything was in the right place, more or less, and his cursed energy was humming along like it had never left. he flexed his fingers, curled them into fists, stretched them out again. human. human. human.
but then his eyes landed on the tablet.
it was still on the coffee table in the living room, where heâd left it last night. dead battery, probably. but the messageâ his message, the one heâd spent seventeen attempts typingâ was still there. waiting.
âhere,â you said, emerging from the closet with a pair of sweatpants and an oversized t-shirt. âtheyâre not your size, but theyâll work until we can get you home.â
he pulled on the clothes, they were tight in some places and loose in others, and they smelled like you, and stood up again, more carefully this time. his legs held.
âi need to show you something,â he said.
you frowned. âwhat? satoru, you can barely walk. you should sit down. iâll make breakfast, and then we canââ
âno. itâs important.â he took a step, then another. his body remembered how to do this, even if his muscles had forgotten. âthe tablet. last night, before you came home, iâi typed something. i wanted you to see it.â
your frown deepened, but you didnât argue. you just followed him as he walked, with one hand on the wall for balance, to the living room. the tablet was still on the coffee table, dark and silent. gojo picked it up, found the charger you kept by the couch, plugged it in.
the screen glowed to life.
he navigated to the notes app with fingers that felt too big and too clumsy, and there it was. his message.
will you go out woth me once iâm human again? â catoru
he turned the screen toward you.
you read it. once. twice. three times. your lips moved silently, shaping the words, and gojo watched your face cycle through confusion and recognition and something that looked a lot like hope.
âyou typed this,â you said. it wasnât a question.
âwith my paws,â he said. âit took seventeen tries. i was going to show you last night, but your tablet died, and then you were sad, and i couldnâtâi couldnât make you look at it when you were already hurting.â
you looked up at him. your eyes were bright again, but not with tears this time. with something else. something that made his heart stutter in his chest.
âyou wanted to go out with me,â you said.
âi want to go out with you. iâve wanted to go out with you for a really long time. i justââ he swallowed. âi didnât know how to say it. and then i was a cat, and i couldnât say anything at all, and i thought iâd missed my chance. but iâm human now. and iâm asking. properly. will you go out with me?â
you stared at him for a long moment. the tablet hung between you, the screen still glowing, the misspelled words still waiting.
suddenly, you laughed.
it was a wet sound, shaky and bright, and you were crying, but you were smiling too, and you set the tablet down on the couch and stepped into his arms like you belonged there.
âyes,â you said against his chest. âyes, you idiot. yes.â
gojo wrapped his arms around you and held on. you were warm and solid and real, and you fit against him the same way you had in bedâ like youâd been made to be there, like the universe had designed the two of you to slot together.
âi heard you,â he said quietly. âlast night. what you said about being sad when i turned back. about not being yours.â
you went still in his arms.
âi heard all of it,â he continued. âand i need you to knowâi am yours. iâve been yours for a long time. i just didnât know how to tell you.â
you pulled back just enough to look at his face. your eyes were red, your cheeks wet, and you were the prettiest thing heâd ever seen.
âyouâre not going to forget?â you asked. âall the stuff i said? all the embarrassing, lonely, pathetic stuff?â
ânever,â he said. âiâm going to remember every single thing. iâm keeping all of it.â
you laughed again, softer this time, and you reached up to wipe your tears with the back of your hand. âyouâre going to be insufferable about this, arenât you?â
âabsolutely,â he said, grinning now, wide and bright and full of so much joy he thought he might burst. âiâm going to be the most insufferable boyfriend youâve ever had. iâm going to tell everyone. iâm going to tell nanami. iâm going to tell ijichi. iâm going to tell that stray cat.â
âdonât you dare.â
âtoo late. iâm already planning the speech.â
you hit his chest and he caught your hand, holding it against his heart. you could probably feel it pounding. he didnât care.
âlook,â he said. âi was a cat for one week, and it was the best week of my life. because i was with you. because you took care of me. because you let me sleep on your chest and eat your cereal and fall in your toiletââ
âoh my god, weâre never talking about the toilet again.â
ââand i fell in love with you,â he finished. âi was already in love with you. but being a cat made it worse. better. more. i donât know how to explain it.â
âyou donât have to explain,â you said. âi know.â
and then you kissed him.
it was better than the first oneâ slower, deeper, more certain. his hands found your waist, and your hands found his hair, and the morning light filled the apartment with gold, and gojo satoru thought that maybe, just maybe, getting turned into a cat was the best thing that had ever happened to him.
you pulled back eventually, breathless, and rested your forehead against his.
âcatoru,â you said, and you were smiling. âyou signed it catoru.â
âi panicked.â
âitâs cute.â
âiâm cute.â
âyouâre something.â
he laughed and you laughed, the sound filling the apartment like sunlight.
outside, the world was waking up. missions waited. curses waited. the endless, exhausting work of being a sorcerer waited. but right now, in this moment, none of that mattered.
gojo was human again. he was in love. for the first time in a very long time, he wasnât alone.
âso,â he said, pulling back just enough to look at your face. âbreakfast? iâm thinking cereal. from your bowl.â
you groaned. âyouâre never going to let me eat alone again, are you?â
ânever,â he said, and he meant it. ânever, never, never.â
you rolled your eyes, but you were smiling. you took his hand and led him to the kitchen. gojo followed.
the end.
[ an. hope you guys liked this!! might be a little rushed sorry about that. comment if you wanna be added to my permanent taglist!! ]
â§âËđď¸âŠ âËđ§âšâĄ it became routine, weaving into your days like it had always been there; you'd wake up, spend your mornings doing nothing and thinking about sukuna, in the afternoon youâd head to the store for your shift, then drift toward the workshop instead of slinking home alone to an apartment that felt too quiet.
you could even call it a genuine friendship, considering how much youâre enjoying his presence. he seemed to be fine with it too.
contents. sukuna x fem reader! fluff ⢠first times ⢠awkward reader ⢠sukuna is down bad but he wonât admit it ⢠eventual smut ⢠angst ⢠hurt/comfort ⢠eventual after high school -> adulthood timeskip in later chapters.
part 2 -> part 3 [chapter index]
eight o'clock had never taken so long to arrive.
the last hour of your shift dragged like wet cement, you pretending to polish the already-clean counter while your eyes kept drifting to the clock on the wall. 7:15. 7:22. 7:37. the bell above the door chimed and you jumped every time, heart stuttering, but it was never himâ just more customers, more transactions, more automatic smiles that meant nothing.
you restocked the cigarette display twice. you counted the change drawer three times. you wiped down the slushie machine until your reflection stared back at you from the stainless steel, pale and anxious and stupidly hopeful.
he probably wasn't coming. why would he? you'd cried on a curb and then you'd asked him to be your friend like a kindergartner. you'd offered him a capri sun that was already in your mouth. the humiliation crawled up your neck every time you thought about it, which was constantly, which was approximately every thirty seconds.
7:48.
you were going to die here. you were going to die in this convenience store, still wearing this ugly vest, still waiting for someone who'd clearly realized he'd made a mistakeâ
the bell chimed.
you looked up.
sukuna walked in.
it was still so different: seeing him up close and not just as a figure in your peripheral vision or a presence at the counter. shirt half-unbuttoned at the collar, sleeves pushed up to his elbows, hands still faintly streaked with grease like he hadn't noticed to fully clean up. his eyes found yours immediately, crimson and direct, and he walked straight to the counter like he owned the place and he'd been coming here his whole life instead of just the times you'd rung him up in silence.
"you're off yet?"
your voice stuck somewhere in your throat. you cleared it. "âŚin two minutes."
he nodded once, leaned against the counter. it was as if he had all the time in the world and waiting for you was just something he did now.
you stared at him. he stared back. the fluorescent lights hummed.
from the back, your mom's voice ringed, to your mortification, "fridge needs locking up before you go!" and you jolted into motion, suddenly aware that you'd been frozen, aware that he was watching you move.
you did the tasks on autopilotâ fridge locked, register counted, apron offâ hyperaware of him the whole time. he hadn't moved. he was just⌠there, standing solid as a rock, patient and waiting.
seven-o-five. seven-o-eight. seven-ten.
you grabbed your bag, shoved your phone in your pocket and walked around the counter to where he stood.
"âŚokay."
he straightened instantly. "where we going?"
you blinked. "i thought you had a plan."
"you asked me to hang out."
"âŚyes?"
"so where?"
you stared at each other. the realization hit simultaneouslyâ neither of you had thought past this moment. you'd been so focused on whether he'd actually show up that you hadn't considered what came next. your face heated.
"we could walk?" his face betrayed nothing as he shrugged.
"okay."
"get something to eat?"
"sure."
he pushed off the counter and held the door for you, and you walked out into the evening, air warm and soft, sky darkening slowly after bleeding pink and orange above the potholed street.
he fell into step beside you.
it was strange, walking next to him. you'd seen him a thousand timesâ at school, at the workshop, at your counterâ but never like this. never close enough to notice the exact shade of pink in his hair (darker at the roots, almost faded at the tips), never close enough to feel the warmth radiating off him, never close enough to realize how big he actually was. he made the sidewalk feel smaller.
you walked in silence for a block. two blocks.
you kept glancing at him from the corner of your eye. he walked with his hands in his pockets, shoulders loose, gaze scanning the street like he was cataloging everything. the cracked pavement, the faded storefronts, the kid on a bike wobbling past. he caught you looking once. you snapped your head forward so fast your neck cracked.
you heard a soundâ low and rough. it took you a second to realize he'd snorted. he was laughing at you!
"you always this quiet?" he inquired, clearly trying to suppress the lifting corners of his mouth.
"i was gonna ask you."
"i talk when there's something to say."
"âŚnothing now?"
he glanced at youâ giving you that sharp, assessing look from earlier. "you're the one who wanted a friend. you got topics?"
"what do you usually do after work?"
"eat. shower. sleep."
you snorted before you could stop yourself. "like an old man."
he made that sound again, the rough one that might have been a laugh. it did something weird to your chest as silence settled once again.
you ended up at a food stand a few blocks down, the one with the flickering fluorescent lights and the smoky grill that stayed open late. it was cheap and greasy and exactly what you could afford.
"this good?"
"good enough. cheap."
he raised an eyebrow. "you're not paying for me."
"okay."
you orderedâ two skewers each, extra sauce, the kind of meal that required napkins and didn't care about manners. when the food came, you handed him his without thinking, already focused on your food; anything to make yourself less nervous.
he looked at it, then looked at you.
"what?"
"nothing." he took it from you, your fingers brushed; his rough and warm, callused from work, faint traces of minuscule scars caught in the lines of his palms. he didn't pull away fast. neither did you.
you found a low wall to sit on, the kind that separated the food stand's gravel lot from the sidewalk. he sat next to youâ close enough that your elbows almost touched, far enough that it wasn't weird. or maybe it was weird, you weren't sure anymore. this whole thing was weird.
you ate in silence for a minute. the food was goodâspicy, salty, exactly what you needed.
"so." he bit into his second skewer. "really no friends? ever?"
you stiffened. the question landed like a stone in your stomach. "âŚyeah."
"why?"
you shrugged, staring at the gravel. "i don't know. bad at starting, i guess. everyone had their groups by the time i figured out how to talk to people. and then it was too late, and then it was senior year, and thenâŚ" you trailed off. "i don't know."
he chewed slowly, considering. you looked at him, half-expecting something crude but nothing came so you decided to ask him too, âyou?"
"didn't care. people are loud. needy. want shit."
"no one?"
he was quiet for a second. "didn't need anyone."
you glanced at him. his profile was sharp in the food stand's harsh light. jaw set, eyes forward, expression unreadable, but something in his voice had changed just slightly, enough for you to notice since you were listening so intently.
"why'd you say yes to me, then?"
he finished his skewer, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand. you watched him think about it, the pause stretching just long enough to make you nervous.
"you looked kinda pathetic, crying like a baby," he said finally. "but you asked nicely, so."
you stared at him, lower lip jutting out slightly as you waited for him to continue.
he met your eyes, giving you an exasperated look before looking away. "and i see you every day, at the store. you're always there, doing your thing, head down, not bothering anyone. not annoyingâŚ" he gestured vaguely, squinting at you. "i hope."
something cracked open in your chest, small and warm and terrifying. you laughedâ a surprised sound tugged out of you. "that's the nicest thing anyone's said to me, i think."
âwow, you have low standards.â he looked almost uncomfortable, shifting further on the wall. "eat your other skewer."
you did, smiling to yourself a little as you ate happily. the conversation flowed easier after thatâ stilted at first, then smoother, then actually kind of natural, which was surprising. you talked about school (he hated it, you tolerated it), about teachers (yaga droned, he'd skipped his classes twice entirely), about graduation (a farce, you agreed, everyone fake-hugging like they'd actually miss each other).
he asked what you did in your free time, you admitted you read or watched youtube videos or doodled, superheroes, mostly, the ones who won. he called you a nerd. you called him a grease monkey. he snorted again, not expecting you to say anything like that, and you filed the sound away, memorising it for future, unless he realises that you suck and stops being friends with you.
after food, you walked; nowhere specific, just through streets you'd known your whole life but never really seen. he pointed out a park you'd passed a thousand times but never entered. you pointed out a vending machine behind the laundromat that always gave two cans when you paid for one.
he looked at you, challenge in his crimson eyes. "show me."
the machine ate your dollar, thunked once, thunked twice. two sodas rolled into the tray.
you stared at each other.
"no way," he said.
"miracles happen!"
you grabbed them both, handed him one. your fingers brushed again, longer this time, deliberate maybe, or maybe you were imagining things. the can was cold in your hand, condensation already slicking your palm.
you ended up at the park anyway, the one you'd passed, because he said "might as well" and you said "okay" and suddenly you were sitting on swings like kids, creaking back and forth in the dark.
he looked ridiculous on a swingâ too big, too broad, his knees almost hitting the chains. they were straining to hold his weight. but he was on it anyway, pushing himself back and forth with his boots dragging in the gravel, and something about that made your chest swell, because despite his pretty intimidating and mostly quiet demeanour, he looked kind of cute.
"hey," you said.
"what."
"are you enjoying this?"
he looked at you. the streetlight caught his face, his eyes, the slight curve of his mouth.
"itâs alright."
you smiled so hard your cheeks hurt.
he kicked gravel at you. you kicked back. you ended up in a stupid fight that wasn't really a fight, just two people on swings shoving at each other's feet, laughingâ you bright and breathless, him low and roughâ and when you finally stopped, breathless and flushed, the stars were fully out and the swings were still creaking and the night felt different than it had an hour ago.
different than it had three hours ago, when you'd been crying on a curb.
different than it had three years ago, when you'd walked into high school invisible and alone.
you moved your eyes to him, unable to get your fill. it was still so abnormalâ his presence by your side, but you wanted to get used to it. he was looking at the sky, profile sharp against the dark, tattoos curling at his collar.
"thanks," you said quietly.
he didn't look at you. "for what."
"for doing this."
he was silent for a few seconds before speaking up. "said i would."
you nodded, even though he wasn't looking. the swing creaked loudly under you.
after a few more minutes, he stood and stretched, shoulders rolling, shirt pulling tight against his arms and abdomen. "iâll walk you back."
it wasn't a question so you didnât bother thinking for an answer.
you walked back through the same streets, but to you, they looked different now. they looked softer and now they had significant memories of them. and maybe you were being too dramatic about a couple of hours spent with a guy you never really talked to before, but it seemed like something worth remembering. when you reached the corner between the store and the workshop, you stopped. he stopped too.
"so," you said.
"so."
"same time tomorrow?"
he looked at you for a long moment, that assessing gaze, but different nowâ warmer, maybe. or maybe you were imagining things again.
"sure." he turned toward the workshop, then paused, looking back over his shoulder. "don't cry on the curb before i get there. weirdos only do that once."
you laughed. "hey!â
he shook his headâalmost fond, almostâand walked into the workshop's floodlit lot.
you stood there for a minute after he disappeared. the cicadas hummed, the sign above the store flickered. your chest felt full in a way it hadn't in years.
eight o'clock.
you'd always be here anyway.
â
after a while, he got out again, leaned against the workshop's outer wall instead, boots planted in the gravel, staring at nothing. the lot was empty, brother already gone, tools put away, the bay doors pulled half-down. just him and the floodlights and the echo of your laugh still rattling around in his skull like it had taken up residence there.
what the hell was he doing?
he didn't do this. didn't do friends, didn't do walks, didn't do swings at parks like some kind of normal person who had sleepovers and shared secrets and whatever else normal people did. normal wasn't in his repertoire. normal got you burned, normal got you trusting people who'd turn on you the second things got hard, who'd look at his face and the reputation and the way he handled problems with his fists and decide you weren't worth the risk.
he'd learned that youngâ fists first, questions never, keep everyone at arm's length so they couldn't get close enough to hurt you. it worked, it had always worked.
so why had he said yes?
why was he standing here in the cooling dark, replaying the way your face lit up over a few words from him as if you were witnessing a miracle? why was he noticing the exact sound of your real laughâ not the âregister smileâ, the hollow one you gave customers, but the real one, the one that surprised you as much as him, bright and breathless and slightly unhinged? why did his chest do that stupid fucking thing when you'd said "thanks" like he'd given you something and he mattered, like your evening wouldn't have been exactly the same without him?
he ran a hand through his hair, feeling a bit of grease streaked through tufts of his hair. he could wash his hands five times and it'd still find its way back, embedded in the lines of his palms, under his nails, ground into skin like it belonged there. like he belonged here, in this lot, with these tools, this life.
you'd asked. that was it, wasn't it? no angle, no agenda, no careful distance because of his reputation, no whispered questions about whether the rumors were true. just straight up, with puffy-eyes and capri sun crushed in your hand, snot and tears and all, "will you be my friend?" like it was the simplest question in the world. ridiculous.
like he was not sukuna-who-fights, not the rumor or the reputation or the guy people crossed streets to avoid, the one teachers watched in hallways, the one parents pulled their kids away from at the grocery store.
and you'd smiled when he said yes as if he'd given you something huge, something precious, when all he'd done was show up and not immediately walk away. stand there while you cried and then say "sure" like it was nothing.
he pushed off the wall, walked two steps toward the workshop door, stopped. looked back at the store.
lights still on inside. your silhouette moving behind the counter along with another oneâ your mother?â probably chastising you work not closing up properly. he'd watched you do it before, sometimes, when he stayed late at the workshop, when he was the last one there and the store was the only other light on the block. you'd always moved the same wayâ efficient, automatic, like you were going through motions that required no thought. a ghost in your own life.
but you'd been different tonight. talking, laughing, kicking gravel at him on a swing set like you'd known him forever and weren't afraid of him. you didn't even know you were supposed to be.
he'd done that. just by being there. just by saying yes.
the weight of that sat strange in his chest, not bad, exactly, yet frighteningly unfamiliar. a tool he'd never used before, heavy in his hand, not sure what it was for but knowing it mattered.
he thought about you on the curb earlier. the way your shoulders shook, the way you'd tried to hide it, the way you'd looked up at him with those puffy eyes like you expected him to laugh or leave.
maybe that was how it workedâsomeone finally saw you, and then you weren't invisible anymore.
the floodlights hummed. a dog barked somewhere down the street. the cicadas hadn't shut up all night, wouldn't shut up all summer, would keep screaming until they died. he'd always hated that sound.
he looked at the store again.
were you replaying it like he was? the way your fingers had brushed when he took the food, when you handed him the soda, when you'd both grabbed for the same swing chain and laughed about it? the way he'd caught you looking at him and you'd snapped your head forward so fast your neck probably hurt? the way you'd smiled at the end, that huge ridiculous smile that made his chest do that thing he was still trying to ignore?
he didn't know, fuck, he couldn't read minds. he could read engines, could read people's intentions in the way they moved, could tell when someone was about to swing or run or lie. but he couldn't read you. you were open in a way that threw him offâ everything right there on your face, in your voice, in the way you held yourself. no games and no masks, just you.
it was⌠he didn't really have a word for it. good? maybe. different, definitely. something he wasnât opposed to feeling again.
he thought about tomorrow. he would show upâhe knew that with a certainty that surprised him. he'd show up at eight or even earlier, and you'd be there, and you'd do something else, walk somewhere else, talk about something else, and he'd hear your real laugh again, and maybe his chest would do that thing again, and maybe he'd start to understand what the hell was happening to him.
he made it to the door.
the store lights went out.
âââââââ
after that, it became routine, weaving into your days like it had always been there, like you'd just been waiting to notice the shape of it. you'd wake up, spend your mornings doing nothing and thinking about sukuna, in the afternoon youâd head to the store for your shift, then drift toward the workshop instead of slinking home alone to an apartment that felt too quiet.
at first, you lingered near the entrance, half-hidden by stacks of tires that smelled like rubber and highway, watching from a safe distance as engines were gutted and rebuilt like intricate, oily puzzles. it felt like trespassing, like at any moment someone would notice you and ask what the hell you thought you were doing there. and youâd say i dunno because you didnât.
it was loudâ shouts over revving motors, metal screeching on metal, radios playing static-y rock from dusty speakers bolted to the walls. messy too; tools scattered like forgotten toys across every surface, puddles of spilled fluids gleaming iridescent under fluorescent bays, rags that had once been white now permanently gray. it smelled sharp: motor oil thick in your nose, hot rubber from tires, faint metallic tang of exhaust that clung to the back of your throat. sweat and effort hung in the air, making shirts cling to backs, making skin gleam under the harsh lights.
sukuna looked like he belonged there more than anywhere else in the worldâ sleeves of his tight shirt rolled up to his elbows, forearms corded with muscle as he hefted parts twice the size of his head, hands moving with confident precision, barely pausing to think before snagging the right wrench or socket from the overflowing toolbox.
sweat beaded on his neck, tracing slow paths down to dampen his collar, catching the light when he leaned over an engine bay. he'd mutter curses under his breath when a bolt stuck, sharp jaw clenching, lips pulling back from teeth in a snarl that should have been scary but somehow wasn't.
you watched for a while, mesmerized by the rhythm of it. the way his body knew what to do without thinking, the way his hands seemed to speak a language you couldn't understand but wanted to learn.
so curiosity won, as it always did. you edged closer, shoes crunching on the messy floor, until you were near enough to see the sweat on his brow and the concentration in his eyes. "what's that part you're holding?"
he didn't look up, just kept twisting it in his grip, examining it. "alternator."
"what does it do?"
"makes electricity for the car. charges the battery, runs the lights and shit."
your eyes widened. "how does a hunk of metal make electricity?"
he paused then, wiping his forehead with the back of his wrist, leaving a fresh smear of grease across his skin. stared at you like you'd asked him to explain quantum physics while juggling. "âŚcar magic."
you huffed, crossing your arms over your chest. "that's not a real answer, sukuna. come on. you clearly know, just tell me."
"if youâre so interested then google it, genius." but there was no bite in it, just that flat tone he used when he was deciding if you were worth the effort.
you did not google it. instead, you kept asking, relishing in the annoyance that was crossing his features. day after day, poking at his focus like a kid with a stick, testing the edges of his patience to see where they were.
"why do those cars sound deeper? like a growl instead of a hum?"
"exhaust mods. bigger pipes. lets the engine breathe different."
"show me?"
he'd grunt, point to the undercarriage with his chin, not stopping his work. sometimes he'd ignore you completely, tossing a rag your way when oil splattered too close, wordlessly telling you to back up.
sometimes heâd grace you with short answers: "spark plugs." "transmission fluid." "that's a differential, don't touch it, dumbass." sometimesâ on days when the shop wasn't slammed and his mood wasn't edged, when the heat hadn't made everyone irritable and the jobs were going smoothâ he'd actually explain, voice slowing, patient in that gruff way of his that you'd come to recognize as affection.
"see this?" he'd point, finger hovering just above the mechanism. "timing belt. slips even a little, whole engine seizes up. gotta torque it just right or boom. no more car." he'd demonstrate, massive hand guiding the tool with impossible precision, letting you hold it once when you beggedâ your smaller fingers overlapping his, warm and steady, his breath catching almost imperceptibly when you pressed closer to see.
you graduated to sitting on an old overturned milk crate near his workspace, legs swinging, chin propped in hands, watching him work like he was the most interesting thing in the world. which to you, to be fair, he was.
the other mechanicsâ gruff older guys with oil-stained coveralls and tattoos of their own, men who'd been turning wrenches since before you were bornâ got used to you quick. one of them, a burly dude named toji with a perpetual scowl and a cigarette permanently tucked behind his ear, squinted at you over his coffee one morning. "you his girlfriend or something?"
you choked on your soda, spraying fizz across the concrete. "what? no! we're just⌠hanging out. weâre friends!"
sukuna didn't even look up from the engine block he was scraping clean, but you caught the slightest twitch at the corner of his mouth. "she talks too much for me."
you gasped and chucked a rag at him, but he caught it one-handed without missing a beat, not even turning around, tossing it back lighter than you'd thrown it. smirked faintly, just enough to see. "missed."
from then on, they nodded at you like you belonged there. one even slipped you a cold water on hot days, winking. "don't tell the boss. he'd charge me for stealing inventory."
but he started invading the store more too, blurring the lines between your worlds like it was nothing special. for you, everything was.
at first, normal, regular stuff heâd done before: buying energy drinks that he'd crack open right there, bags of spicy chips that left orange dust on his fingers that he'd wipe on his jeans, once a ten-pound bag of ice that dripped a trail across the floor to the register. you'd ring him up, same as always, same transaction you'd done a hundred times before he knew your name.
and then on one sweltering afternoon, mid-shift, you were scanning a teenage boyâs haulâchips, strawberry milk, sodasâ when he strolled in. he didn't head for the counter, instead he ducked under the hinged section like he owned the place and planted himself right beside you. elbows on the counter, broad frame blocking half the aisle, staring out the window, bored, like as if this was completely normal behavior.
you blinked up at him, scanner beeping forgotten in your hand, the boy waiting impatiently. "âŚwhat are you doing?"
"standing." and the sky is blue.
"you're not allowed back here. employees only. there's literally a sign."
he leaned heavier on the counter, tattoos shifting as he crossed his arms. "your family wonât say shit."
true; your father was peeking from the back room's bead curtain, bushy eyebrows climbing his forehead so high they nearly disappeared, frozen mid-step like he'd spotted a bear in the dairy aisle. your mother, who knew about your new friend, pretended to sort lotto tickets by the register, stealing glances over her reading glasses, not saying a word.
the boy at the register took one look at sukunaâtowering, arms crossed, face set in that permanent scowl that made him look like he'd murder someone for looking at him wrong, pink hair wild from the heatâ and paled dramatically. "uh, just these two then." dumped half his stuff back on a shelf without meeting anyone's eyes. paid in exact change, snatched his bag, and bolted without a goodbye, the bell jangling frantically behind him.
you shot him a glare. "you're scaring my customers."
"good." he snagged a candy bar from the rack beside him, unwrapping it with his teeth. "less work for you. more time to talk my ear off about whatever random thing you've been researching ."
"that is not how business works! we need sales to, you know, exist as a store!"
next guy inâ a twitchy salaryman in a wrinkled shirt, probably grabbing dinner on his way home from the trainâ saw sukuna through the glass, hesitated in the doorway like a deer calculating escape routes, then noped out empty-handed, speed-walking down the street.
you shoved sukuna's solid shoulder; he didn't budge an inch, solid as the wall behind him. "go stand somewhere else! shoo! over there!"
he didn't. just crunched his candy, smirking around it as your father finally shuffled out, eyed the scene, muttered "kids these days" in broken english, and vanished again without intervening.
after that, sukuna popped up during shifts like a grumpy shadow you couldn't shake. leaning on the counter, sipping pilfered sodas that you'd hiss "on the house, i guess" about, silently intimidating the neighborhood busybodies who liked to linger and gossip. sales dipped a little those daysâ fewer loiterers, quicker transactions, less chat about the weather. you never told him you noticed, because secretly loved how the store felt less empty with him there, even if he was objectively bad for business.
one time, a rowdy group of teens came in giggling, raiding the snack aisle like locusts, being loud and obnoxious the way teens do. one of themâ a guy with too much confidence and a bad haircutâ bumped sukuna's arm on purpose, testing, looking for a reaction. sukuna turned slow, eyes narrowing to slits that caught the fluorescent light. they scattered like pigeons from a cat, dropping chips in their haste, the door barely catching them as they fled.
you stifled a laugh behind your hand. "my hero."
"shut up." but his ears were slightly pink. you bit down a smile, shaking your head.
he was cute, in his own way.
â
some days were louder, filled with your chatter spilling out like you'd bottled it too long and the cork finally blew. you'd ramble about family drama, about how weird it felt, summer yawning empty ahead like a void, no college acceptance letter yet, just this limbo of waiting and working and wondering.
"what if i end up here forever?" you'd ask, staring at the workshop ceiling as you laid on the worn couch, at the stained tiles and flickering lights. "stocking ramen and wiping counters till i'm old and gray and my hands smell like bleach permanently?"
he'd grunt from under a hood, not looking up, wrench turning with steady clicks. heâd say something vague or amusing to take your mind away, but you knew he was scared of the same thing. of wasting his life, stuck at the same spot.
you'd pry about him too, using specific hooks to reel answers from his reluctant mouth. turns out he'd been wrenching at the shop since middle school, summers turning into after-school gigs that paid better than any kid job. he didn't hate school exactlyâ "just pointless. learn more here in a week than a year of textbooks.". he liked fixing things because machines didn't lie, didn't ghost you, didn't complicate things with feelings and expectations. "people do that a lot," he'd add, wiping a bolt clean, and you wondered if that jab included you, if you were complicated yet, if he'd decided yet whether you were worth it.
but then he'd toss you a rag to hold, distracting you, keeping you close. you wondered what could have happened to teach him these things when he was just a couple of years older than you.
you tried "helping" once, grabbing a spark plug set he'd asked for. fumbled it immediatelyâslippery in your inexperienced hands, dropped it right into an oil puddle with a sad little plop. "shit!"
he snorted, fished it out without complaint, cleaned it on his own shirt like it was nothing. "stick to questions, klutz." pushing your hand away gently, thumb brushing your knuckle in a way that made your stomach flip embarrassingly.
other days were quiet. those became your absolute favorite, soft edges to the chaos of everything else.
you'd wrap your shift, snag two capri suns from the fridge, slip outside as the sky bruised into purple and orange, the heat finally breaking. he'd be waiting or show a minute later, hands scrubbed pink-raw from whatever cleaner they used, rag still tucked in his back pocket. you'd claim the curb, shoulder to shoulder but not quite touching, warmth bridging the gap anyway without contact.
no talking was needed on those nights. the only sounds were traffic whooshing past on the main road, workshop winding down to occasional clanks and goodnights yelled across the lot, evening air cooling slow against your skin, crickets joining the cicadas in their endless chorus.
you'd sip yours slow, feet moving back and forth on gravel, watching the stars appear one by one. he'd crush his in seconds, pouch popping loud in the quiet, then poke the straw through the bottom experimentallyâ watching foil tear, juice dribbling out in a sticky mess down his fingers. "dumb design."
giggling at his pout, you flicked a drop at him. it splatted his arm, beading on his skin. he raised a brow, wiped it slow and deliberate⌠then flicked a bigger one back, cold and precise on your cheek. "hey!" a play fight ensuedâ pouches mangled and forgotten, pavement getting sticky, both of you laughing breathless till your mother yelled from the door to stop wasting stock and get inside.
after a while, since you were a curious person and it was easy to ask him the things you had on your mind, you asked, "why do you always drink these now?"
he glanced sideways, sunset gilding his sharp features, turning his pink hair almost gold at the edges. "figured it was our thing now."
our. your heart squeezed painfully as you tried not to combust. "âŚso?"
"important, then." he shrugged like it was no big deal.
you didn't know what to say to that. so you just scooted a hair closer, shoulders brushing now, fabric against fabric. he didn't pull away.
and somewhere along the way, amid the oil and banter and stolen snacks, you realized something strange and warm that crept up on you when you weren't looking.
you were looking forward to your days. not dreading the end-of-school silence anymore, not counting hours till closing just to escape, not thinking about college as much and about the summer ending.
you loved your place in the workshop, pretending to be a mechanic-in-training, stealing his tools to "fix" a soda can that wasn't broken.
loved arguing about stupid shitâ like best gas station snack (chips forever, obviously) or the fizziest soda(cold coke, duh)â him rolling his eyes but replying anyway, every single time.
even loved being at the store, lying to customers ("sorry, he's just standing there, doesn't bite⌠much") while he loomed behind you, smirking at your flustered answers, watching you ring people up with that assessing gaze.
home didn't echo with loneliness now. you had texts lighting up your phone at weird hours.
you: saw a car that growls like the one you fixed
sukuna: what do you know about cars. pic?
you: [blurry photo taken from too far away]
sukuna: shitty angle. the car ok tho
you: ugh you never like anything
sukuna: yes also stop bringing weird snacks that wasabi peas shit tasted like regret
you liked texting him meaningless shit, liked that he responded so quickly even though youâve never seen him take his phone out. you liked that he was genuinely interested in whatever you were saying, even the most boring stuff. and even it wasnât interest, it was still cute. all of it. him.
â
one evening, with sun dipping low and fat on the horizon, pavement still radiating heat like a promise, you both on the curb againâ sodas and chips half-gone, empty wrappers and cans crumpled between you like evidence.
you poked yours absentmindedly, foil clancking under your thumb. "âŚhey."
"what."
you hesitated, voice softer than you meant it to be. "i'm really glad you said yes that day."
he didn't answer right away. sipped his drink slow, marble clinking soft inside the glass bottle he'd switched to. you thought he'd brush it off, change subject, grunt and move on.
"yeah." he murmured instead, but he also shiftedâ shoulder pressing firmer against yours, solid and warm, anchoring you to the wall, to this moment, to him. he stayed like that till stars pricked the darkening sky, till your drink was empty and your legs were numb, till the workshop lights clicked off one by one behind you.
and all the time, you felt seen.
[ an. the stuff about cars⌠look the choice of an auto workshop was deliberate bc i know some stuff about carss i had flex the basic knowledge aight??? also i decided to make sukuna 2 y older bc i just wanted to thats all ]
âŹâŹâŹ IN WHICH, Satoru Gojo has two secrets. One, itâs only his room being renovated, not his parentsâs entire mansion. Two, the âannoying little sisterâ of his bestfriend has always been the silent, furious center of his entire universe.
Now that heâs your temporary roommate, your plan is to survive without murdering him. His plan is to ruin yours. The line between hate and something far more dangerous is as thin as the wall between your bedrooms when stolen glances and touches linger longer than intended, one obsession is traded for another, and your decade long muse is demanding to be seen as something more.
â contents ⌠mdni. 16k wc. college au. slowburn. forced proximity. one-sided enemies to lovers. reader has freckles. banter. mean gojo (as a kid). artistic obsession. artist!reader and photographer!gojo. tattoos. mentions of piercings. sexual tension. whole lot of fluff. smidge of angst. eventual smut. reader is a virgin. p in v. praising, cunnilingus, unprotected sex. again, 18+ so mdni or skip the smut.
a/n ⌠it was genuinely the most fun iâve had in a while writing this fic, brainstorming ideas with friends at 4am & extensively searching photography & art terms, this fic is lowk the pinnacle of my skills </3 i only hope that whoever has the patience to sit through the 15k wc will enjoy the journey as much as i did !! <3
The first time Satoru Gojo breaks your heart is when youâre six and heâs nine, boy meets girl, girl meets troubleâ and the weapon is a dandelion.
Youâd found it growing in the cracks of a pavement, a stubborn little sun against the grey. To you, it was gold. It was beautiful. And for any reason that your six years old heart couldnât articulate but felt with every fibre of your being, you wanted him to have it.
Satoru has been Suguruâs extension for as long as you can remember. He was nine, all scabby knees and a shit-eating smirk already too sharp for his face. He was perched on your backyard wall, waiting for Suguru, looking bored.
You marched up to him in all childish innocence, the dandelion soft in your dirt smudged hands like a peace offering, âsee what I found! Here!â
Satoru spared it one glance, looking down and unimpressed. He didnât take it, âThatâs a weedâ, he said, with the condescending tone of a child whoâs never been told heâs wrong, âitâs what left when a flower dies. Itâs ugly.â
Your heart is crushed. âButââ
âYou can keep that to yourself,â He doesnât give you the time to continue. And before you could pull your hand back, he leans in and blowsâ a precise, sharp puff of air. The delicate dandelion seeds erupted from the stem, a white chaotic cloud scattering in the summer air and Satoru grinned, pleased with his demolition. He pointed to the few seeds stuck to your cheeks, âSee? Just a weed.â
You didnât cry. Not that he would wait around to see that either. You just held onto the empty stem in your hands, it was left as a reminder of what you meant to Satoru Gojo. The message was received as clear as heâd carved into your skin with little care. What you think is beautiful, I find worthless. What you give me, I will destroy.
It was a lesson he would spend the next decade enforcing.
Satoru was around almost every weekend, and every time he made it his lifeâs mission to make your life miserable. It was always Suguru and Satoru, Satoru and Suguru. Theyâd spend entire days building a fortress of boyhood you were never quite allowed to enter. And it was fine, you knew your brother loved you. Fighting with Satoru as a rival for Suguruâs attention was okay. It wouldâve been okay if Satoru wasnât always intent on making his presence painfully annoying and loud.
Years and years went on with the same rhythm, you may have built a tolerance to Satoru but not quite a liking. He was always the âugly extensionâ of your Suguru who jabbed at your insecurities and took your things and snacks without asking and always wanted to be better at everything.
When Suguru moved away for college, he would room with Satoru. And now you were completely out of the picture.
That was okay too, in a decade you had built your own passion for art and skills that Satoru could never better even if he tried.
In your first year of college and Suguruâs last, your parents wanted to move back to the countryside, and Suguru came back to live with you. Itâs been peaceful and steady. You donât see Satoru much. They still hang outâ Instagram stories and posts, gaming sessions and calls. But youâre just not bothered to keep tabs on it.
And yet, you ought to think you didnât deserve this surprise.
The sound of the doorbell was an inconvenience. The sight of Satoru Gojo on your doorstep, all in his untouched gloryâ a duffel bag slung over his shoulder, that same old âbetter than youâ grin on his face, and his parentsâ sprawling estate presumably too empty for his taste.
He was taller, of course. Not just taller, now having to slightly duck his head under your doorframe, but broader. The world had stretched him out. The lanky, sharp elbowed frame you remember has filled out with a solid, confident build of a man who still believed the universe rearranged itself for his convenience. His white hair was a deliberately messy masterpiece, and his sunglasses were perched on his head, leaving those piercing, knowing blue eyes utterly unobstructed.
Satoru Gojo is at your doorstep with a duffel bag you know doesnât belong to Suguru, there is no way heâs here toâ
âHey Dots, well, roomie, look at you,â he said, his voice a deeper, richer version of the one that had haunted your childhood, âall grown up and still frowning at me. Some things never change, huhâ
He winks at you.
Dots. Yeah, he hasnât forgotten the damn nickname. Of course he hasnât.
Like a very Satoru Gojo thing to do, he didnât wait for an invitation, stepped past you into the hallway, his shoulder bumping yours on purpose. He smelled like expensive cologne and arrogance.
âYouâve grown into a proper slenderman yourself,â you really canât be bothered to hide your very annoyed smile, all the more emphasized in a mocking attempt to look welcoming.
âAh, feisty,â he grins, throwing the bag on the couch as if he owns the place, before throwing himself too, legs sprawled out like a cat with a Cheshire grin to match. You wish he tripped, âI like it. You can finally say something without stuttering with meâ
Heâs asking to be punched.
âSugu around?â He asks, looking around the place to scan, probably looking for things he can jab about.
âHeâs your best friend, you tell me.â
He turns to you, and for a three seconds that his gaze falls on your mouth, you think out mouthing an insult, âRight, forgot,â he taps his glasses, âyouâve always been the prickly one, my favourite.â
The drag of syllables on the favourite has you rolling your eyes. âCanât say the same, seriously, what are you doing here? Sugu wonât be home till night.â
âIâm your new roommate. For a few weeks.â his eyes did that scanning thing again, and you felt a ridiculous urge to cross your arms over your chest. âMy place is being de-germed or something. Sugu offered sanctuary. Donât worry, Iâll try not to track too much privilege on the carpets.â
Oh. Absolutely. Just what you were missing in your life. Canât wait for Suguru to come home and poison his coffee.
The boy who had been nothing but a spoiled dandelion-blowing, pudding-stealing, name-calling jerk your entire childhood, is now a man still, if not more, annoying, standing in your foyer and staring at you like youâre the interesting one. You had this stinking, terrifying feeling that he was going to tear apart your life again. Heâs no longer just trouble. Heâs chaos wrapped in the figure of a now well built man with a pretty face and sly tongue, a thunderstorm daring to be acknowledged.
âOh please, are your other mansions not big enough? Are all the 5 star hotels books with no place left for you? Ask them nicely and they might let you crash for free. Thereâs really no reasonââ
You protest, because he doesnât need to live here. Heâs got every privilege one could possibly have in the palm of his hands, he doesnât need to be here.
But of course he cuts you off, old habits die hard, ââbut whereâs the fun in that? Something tells me you really missed me Dots.â
Heâs reminding you that heâs been keeping score, âI have a name, you jerk.â youâd rather be in any other room except with him.
Yeah. The war was on.
âYeah, but Dots really holds the memories, doesnât it?â His grin was all innocence, a weapon heâs mastered, âI was nine, you were six. I remember you were barely taller than my knee.â One quick shift of his gaze from your feet to your eyes again was his way of saying âyouâre not anymore.â
âYeah, I remember you had the emotional intelligence of a rock. Some things really donât change.â
You scoff, turning away in a retreat you think was strategic. The kitchen wonât have any of his obnoxiousness. You really need some strong caffeine to accept the reality of having to share your space with him.
Satoruâs footsteps followed, a lazy confident rhythm against floorboards. He leaned in on the counter, eyeing your movements. To him, your annoyance was probably just background music.
âSo,â he begins, âwhat does grown up Dots do for fun nowadays? Still drawing those monsters?â
Your hand stills on the mug. So he remembers them too, the âlittle monstersâ were your first foray into character designs and he has mercilessly compared them to âblobs with emotional problems.â
âIâm an art student,â you announce, keeping your back to him, ânot that you could know the difference.â
âOuch, a direct hitâ, a soft laugh follows the sound of fridge door opening, âstill like your coffee tasting like depression?â
âYouâre the one who puts enough sugar to put a horse to sleep, you donât get to say anything.â
âYou know how I like my coffee?â You can practically hear his grin, âThen you can make me one.â
You finally turn to him, in utter disbelief at the audacity of this tall hunk of arrogance. Satoru is holding a milk cartoon, looking pleased with himself. âIâm not making you your fucking coffee. And you donât have to worry about mine either, how do you know that anywayâ
âSuguru mention thingsâ
The idea of Suguru casually mentioning your coffee preferences to you Satoru felt like an utter betrayal, âits none of your business.â
Satoru takes this chance to step closer, and you want to instinctively step back. But that would mean allowing him to take more space than he should be, to allow him to cower you into a corner in your house, and to hell with that.
âNot if Iâm making it,â he simply takes the mug from your hands, âyouâre welcome.â
He lets his fingers finger brush your knuckles, the warmth lingering treacherously on your skin.
âNo thanks, I donât wanna be poisoned.â
âYou wound me.â He says with a disgustingly dramatic pout that doesnât look ugly on him.
But you let himâ watch him, stunned into silence, as he moves around your kitchen with an infuriating familiarity, scooping the grounds, pouring the water. He did it all wrong, of courseâ clumsy and rushed, a rich boy whoâd never had to do a thing for himself. But he was trying, or he was performing the act of trying, which for Satoru was probably the same thing, you reckon.
It was an outrageous display of casual intimacy which you donât ever remember sharing with him.
He handed you the mug, a smirk to proud to pair. It was too light.
âUh, I think thereâs a bit of coffee in your sugar.â you say flatly, taking one sip.
âItâs called flavor, Dots,â he blinked, the picture of a self proclaimed superiority, âyou can thank me for introducing you to the good things in life. Sugar, for example.â
It was the dandelion all over again. Heâd taken something you wanted, performed the act of giving it, but delivered a hollowed out version, stripped of what made it yours. He was re-establishing the old rules on new terrain.
You donât throw it in his face. You donât even sigh. For what itâs worth, at least he didnât compromise on the caffeine.
âGood things are simple,â you take deliberate sips of the overly sweet coffee, âunadorned and unassuming, unlike your personality.â
For a fraction of a second, his smirk faltered. It was there and gone so fast that you might have imagined it, replaced by a new, more interested glint in his eyes. You hadnât cried at six, and you wouldnât sputter now.
Satoru leaned forward, bracing his hands on the counter on either side of you, caging you in. âYouâve gotten better at this,â he murmured, voice a low, approving hum, âIâm really liking it.â
âI didnât do it for youâ you ducked under his arm, taking the coffee with you as you walk away.
To you, heâs a ghost from your most awkward memories, but heâs wearing the face of a man who makes your heart do stupid, frantic things in your chest. And you hate every second of it. The whirlwind of confusing emotions Satoru Gojo is capable of inciting in you hasnât changed, but youâll make sure you wonât be the only one suffering. This isnât a reunion, itâs an ambush. And you have the sinking, terrifying feeling that you are completely, utterly unprepared for it.
Even so, the war was on, and you drew first blood.
The next morning dawned with Suguruâs apology hanging in the air. Heâd truly thought Satoruâs arrival would be a surprise. A surprise.
The word echoed in your head, a stark reminder that your brother had long forgotten your deep seated dislike for Satoruâs presence. And frankly, youâd thought youâd forgotten it, too. Out of sight, out of mind. But now he was here, a walking, talking reminder. Your new plan was simple: avoid him. Donât engage. If he tries to push your buttons, remember Suguruâs blessing: You can hurt him in any way.
You claimed the living room as your studio, spreading your art supplies across the coffee table in a deliberate act of territorial dominance. You were working on a series of concept sketchesâ dark, twisted tree rootsâ qand needed to focus.
The focus lasted approximately seven minutes.
Satoru emerged from the guest room, his hair a spectacular mess, and beelined for the couch. He didnât ask, just flopped down, taking up threeâquarters of the space, and flipped on the TV with a blare of morning news.
You gripped your charcoal pencil tighter, âdo you mind?â
âNot at all,â he said, not looking away from the screen, âmake yourself at home.â
You sighed, already tired. âI am home. And working.â
âThen work.â he gestured magnanimously at the sliver of table in front of you, âDonât let my awesome presence stifle your creativity, maybe itâll inspire you.â
He offered his best smile, something the poets would call charming and artists like you would kill to make a muse of.
âIâm drawing roots. Dark, gnarled, parasitic things. Remind you of anyone?â
âYou could be drawing me, you know,â he said, leaning back with his elbow lazily resting on the couch. âArt majors in our college pay me all the time to be their muse.â and he winks at you.
Of course they do. âYou wish. I donât have time for you right now, Iâve to finish my assignment.â
Said assignmentâ a series of studies on structural roots, gnarled and groundingâwas failing spectacularly. Satoru was a disruptive presence, the constant rustle of his movements, the background noise of the TV, all low grade irritants.
Yet, his presence was the very thing fueling the betrayal of your own hand. The charcoal had a mind of its own, and that mind was obsessed with the loose limbed catastrophe sprawled beside you. The root on your page was beginning to curve in a dangerously familiar way, starting to look less like bark and more like the line of a collarbone. You gripped the charcoal pencil tighter, your knuckles white.
âYouâre breathing too loud,â you muttered, not turning around.
The rustling stopped. The scent of his expensive cologneâ a scent you could now connect to wet earth after rain and a musky softnessâ shifted with the air. Like everything about Satoru, it was determined to be acknowledged. You could feel his attention shift, a physical weight settling between your shoulder blades.
âIâm breathing loud?â His voice was a low, amused rumble. âYouâre the one grinding your teeth. Itâs like listening to gravel fight.â
You finally glanced over your shoulder, a sharp retort on your lips, and it died there.
The late sun caught him in profile, gilding the sharp line of his nose and the defiant sweep of his white hair. He had one arm draped over the back of the couch, and the position stretched his tshirt tight across a chest that was no longer that of a lanky boy, but of a man.
He was bathed in a warm luminescence. Your artistâs eye, against your will, traced the sharp cut of his shoulder blades down to the ridges of hard muscle roping the length of his biceps.
Suddenly, a memory hit you with the force of a physical blow: you, at nine, perched on the garden wall with a similar sketchbook, a crayon instead of charcoal in your hand, filled with the same, desperate desire to burn the image of a twelve year old Satoru glowing in the setting sun after a day of collecting bugs with Suguru. The familiar, aching loneliness of being the perpetual observer tightened the same, old strings of your heart.
He tilted his head, and his eyesâ a shocking, crystalline blue even in the warm lightâ met yours. The smirk you loved to hate had melted away, replaced by a warm, unguarded smile under the sunâs magic. His gaze wasnât teasing. It was cataloguing. It traveled from the determined set of your shoulders, down the line of your arm to your charcoal smudged fingers, then back to your face, lingering on your mouth for a heartbeat too long before finding your eyes again.
Heâs looking at you the same way you just caught yourself looking at him.
The realization was a bucket of cold water. Youâre not nine anymore. Youâre not moved by fickle sceneries or childhood ghosts.
âYouâve changed,â he said, his voice quieter now, the lazy tease gone.
The words felt dangerously honest. âSo have you,â you managed, your own voice softer than you intended. âYouâre⌠bigger. You take up even more space now.â
A slow, real smile touched his lips. âAnd youâre not a little kid hiding behind Suguruâs legs anymore.â He let his head tilt back against the couch. âConfidence looks good on you, you know.â
Is that a compliment? A real one? Is Satoru Gojo even capable of that? You would have questioned him, pulled apart his words to find the hidden barb, if not for the violent buzzing of your phone on the table, shattering the moment.
Waitâ what moment? There was no moment.
You flinched, grabbing it. It was your project partner. âDo not make moaning sounds, Iâll seriously end you,â you mumbled the threat, standing up too quickly and retreating to the kitchen, your heart hammering a frantic, confused rhythm against your ribs.
Satoru only threw up his hands in mock surrender, a laugh on his pretty lips, âpromises, promises.â
You silently thanked your project partner for calling at the right time, the weird, unwelcome tension in your stomach from just moments before already starting to diffuse. It wasnât worth the attention, you told yourself firmly. Heâs not worth the attention.
.
.
.
Satoru waited until he heard the low murmur of your voice from the kitchen. Then he moved.
He was at your spot in three silent slides, his eyes falling to the open sketchbook. He expected the roots, or the same original character designs. Something abstract, or just the structural anatomy of a dandelion. He knew whatever youâd draw, it was your way of holding onto it.
He did not expect to see his own jawline emerging from the tangle of one, or the unmistakable curve of his shoulder blended into the trunk of another. He absolutely did not expect to see a series of questionable angles of his mouth and lips twisting, the moment before a smirk, the subtle bump on his lower lip from a fall as a child. #Catalogue of Annoyances.
It wasnât a typical collection of handsome portraits. It was a dissection.
He did not expect himself, even as the last thing heâd ever see in your sketchbook.
But the most damning thing was the handâ his hand, the one with the scarâ a series of movements rendered with such painstaking, intimate detail that it felt less like a drawing and more like a caress.
The scar over his knuckle from a fight with an older boy heâd won at the cost of a bruised lip. From the precise length of his thumb next to his index finger, to the subtlety of his other hand caressing the ring on his thumbâ a habit he remembers in rare moments of caffeinated anxiety. The way his pinky finger bends from when he broke it playing basketball.
Then the next page, a full page drawing.
You had captured the precise way his white hair fell over his collar, the subtle, vulnerable dip of his head, the faint, almost invisible sunburn from a day spent outside a week ago. The detail was so intimate it felt like a violation. This wasnât a drawing done from a few feet away; this was the view of someone who had spent a lifetime walking behind him.
Scrawled in the corner was a caption: âFigure 11: The Unseen Atlas.â
This was the view youâd had for over a decade. Him, walking ahead with Suguru, always turned away, always moving forward while you trailed behind. You hadnât been drawing his face because youâd rarely seen it directed at you with any real, unguarded attention. You had been drawing his retreating form, the symbol of his constant, careless exclusion.
And you couldâve drawn anything in the world. But itâs him. Itâs really him. In a way he wouldâve
never expected to be mesmerized by anyone.
Satoru is used to being observed and admired and desired. Heâs been a muse many times before.
What heâs not used to is feeling so seen. So mercilessly stripped of every defense and exposed like a hand drawn moment caught in time.
He was so absorbed in the violation, in the feeling on pressed old pages filled with him, he didnât hear you return.
âWhat are you doing?!â
Your voice was sharp with panic. He jerked upright, spinning to face you. And for the first time in his life, Satoru was caught completely off guard. There was no smirk, no smooth recovery. His eyes were wide, his lips slightly parted. A faint, unmistakable flush crept up his neck, staining his pale cheeks a soft, rosy pink.
You surged forward and snatched the sketchbook from the table, clutching it to your chest like a shield. The panic on your face mirrored the shock on his.
The two of you stood there, frozen in a silent standoff. The air was thick with the unsaid again. He just stared at you, his blush deepening, the usual arsenal of wit and arrogance completely failing him. He looked⌠young. Awkward. And for the first time ever, you held all the power in a room with him, and it was terrifying.
âIââ he started, then stopped, running a hand through his hair. âyouâ you see that?â
âSee what?â you deflected a little too fast, your voice tight.
âThe scar. The way my finger bends.â He gestured vaguely, still flustered.
You hugged the sketchbook tighter, your own face heating. âItâs an artistâs job to see things.â
He was quiet for a long moment, just looking at you, the blush slowly receding but the soft, stunned expression remaining. The dynamic had fractured. The teasing god had been rendered human, and he was looking at you like you were the deity.
Finally, he let out a slow breath, and a small, genuine smile touched his lipsâ nothing like his usual razor edged grins. This was softer, much warmer.
âBeen that obsessed with me?â
Curse that wretched mouth of his.
âPlease, this was time pass. Just a way to fill up the empty pages. As an artist, you have to be able to draw the ugly too, if you wanna get better at drawing the good.â
You lay your defenses. Satoru Gojo will not get a rise out of you from now on. Not over your own passion. Your own art.
âHehe,â a painfully childish laugh, âyou know,â he said, his voice soft, almost wondering, âwhen you were fourteen, you used to bite the end of your paintbrush when you were thinking. You had this tiny little gap between your front teeth back then. Itâs gone now.â He gestured to his own teeth. âI noticed when it closed up.â
âSo what,â you said that faster than you intended. Satoru shakes his head.
The admission was so quiet, so unexpected, it stole the air from your lungs. He hadnât just been teasing you all those years. Heâd been watching, noting and remembering.
You didnât know how to deal with this version of him. The one who blushed. The one who admitted to paying attention.
He seemed to gather himself then, the moment of raw vulnerability passing. He shoved his hands in his pockets and took a step back, giving you space. The tease returned to his eyes, but it was different now. Softer. Acknowledging the new ground between you.
âGuess weâve both been paying a little too much attention, Dots.â
Then he does the only decent thing heâs ever done for you.
He leaves you alone to give you space.
Satoru has struck back in this war.
Suguru, in his eternal, misguided role as peacemaker, declared a âfamily tripâ to the bulk mart. âItâll be fun!â he said, a man living in delusions. But he truly meant no harm and all peace.
The embarrassment hasnât left the air for you. It wasnât the sharp, defensive kind you felt with the sketchbook. This was a slow, creeping warmth, a feeling of being utterly and painfully seen.
And as you walked the aisles, the reality of your sketches hit you with a new, terrifying force. For years, drawing him had been your outlet. A safe, silent way to process the confusing storm of feelings he stirred in youâ the resentment for how he made you feel small, the desperate, aching want for him to really see you, not as Suguruâs little sister, but as you. The crayon, then the charcoal, and the paperâ all were a barrier, a way to hold the unattainable Satoru Gojo at a safe distance while secretly pulling him closer.
Now, that barrier was gone.
Every time he reached for a high shelf, your mind supplied the memory of sketching the exact line of his arm. When he laughed at something Suguru said, you remembered the careful study youâd done of the way his eyes crinkled. He was no longer an abstract subject. He was a living, breathing man, and your secret, clinical observations now felt like an intimate invasion.
You had documented him, and in doing so, you had confessed everything.
âYouâre quiet,â Satoru noted, falling into step beside you as Suguru debated paper towel brands ahead. His voice was low, for your ears only.
âJust thinking,â you mumbled, focusing intently on a pallet of canned beans.
âAbout the structural integrity of kidney beans?â he teased, âor about how you know the exact number of freckles on the back of my neck?â
You stumbled, your shoulder bumping into a tower of soup cans. He caught your elbow with a grip, firm and steadying. The contact was electric, a jolt that went straight to your core. You yanked your arm back.
âI donât,â you lied, your voice tight, eyes absolutely refusing to meet his.
âYou do,â he said softly, a tone youâd previously call mocking if you couldnât distinguish the fondness behind it. âPage fourteen, bottom right corner. A study of the nape of my neck, titled âFigure 19: Sun Exposure.â You even counted them. It was seventeen.â
âOh my god, shut up,â you say through gritted teeth, hoping the edge in your voice will keep his attention away from the red heat crawling on your cheeks now, âyouâre wasting oxygen. Some miserable tree out there is making up for it with its life.â
Satoru chuckled, running his pinched finger and thumb over his lips in a gesture of zipping up, wouldâve been cute if you didnât feel so murderous.
You werenât just embarrassed that heâd seen the sketches. You were exposed because he understood what they meant. They werenât just drawings. They were a diary of your obsession, and he was reading it aloud.
Suguru came back then, holding two different giant packs of toilet paper. âOkay, which one is the better deal? Satoru, youâre the math genius.â
Satoru didnât look away from you. A slow, soft smile, one that held no mockery, spread across his face. Ugh, painfully dashing.
âYou know what, Sugu,â he said, his eyes still locked on yours, âI think Iâm all out of genius today. Letâs just get both.â
He finally broke his gaze, turning to your brother, but the moment lingered. You stood there, surrounded by the mundane reality of a grocery store, feeling more seen and vulnerable than you ever had in your life. The outlet was gone. The barrier was broken. And you had no idea what to do now that the boy youâd always drawn from a distance was standing right in front of you, seeing right through you.
Suguru, noticing your complete silence and the deep blush that had been burning on your cheeks this whole time, finally looked properly concerned. âHey,â he said, his voice gentle. âAre you feeling okay? You look⌠really embarrassed. Did he say something to you?â
Before you could even open your mouth to deny it, Satoru leaned in closer. His expression shifted from that soft understanding back to pure, unadulterated cockiness, his eyes glinting with the thrill of the chase.
âYeah, Dots,â he repeated, his voice a low, challenging tease that was meant for you and you alone. âYou embarrassed?â
The white haired freak was gonna torture you for the rest of his days.
.
.
.
The car ride home from the mart was silent. Suguru, sensing the strange new energy but misinterpreting it as a successful truce, hummed along to the radio. Must be nice living in a world of rainbows.
You stared out the window, the ghost of Satoruâs wordsâ âyou even counted them. It was seventeenââ echoing in your mind.
He didnât try to engage you. He just sat in the passenger seat, occasionally glancing at you in the rearview mirror. Each time your eyes would meet for a fractured second before you both looked away, the air in the car growing heavier and electrified.
Back at the apartment, the dynamic had irrevocably shifted. The war was over, the scales tipped unfavourably to one side. But no peace treaty had been signed. You existed in a state of tense, hyper aware coexistence.
Later that night, you found yourself drifting back to the kitchen, pulled by a primal need for a glass of waterâ or maybe just a moment of quiet in the dark, a few square feet of space that didnât feel charged with his new, overwhelming presence.
And of course, by some divine, cruel joke, your plan to avoid him shattered instantly. Because he was there. Of course he was.
Leaning against the counter as if heâd been waiting, a half empty glass of water in his hand. And he was shirtless. The sight was so absurdly Satoru that you froze in the doorway, your tired brain shortcircuiting. The pale expanse of his torso was a stark landmark in the dark, and you hated the way your eyes, against your will, traced the line of his shoulder, the dip of his collarbone, the way his sweatpants sat low on his hips.
In the faint glow of the fluorescent light from the refrigerator which, Satoru, of course, had not closed, you could make out the inked patterns just below the curve of his collarbones. You could get a better look and see what it really is if you stepped a few paces closer to him, but you absolutely do not want to do that.
You could try narrowing your eyes in hopes of a better vision, but then again, why would you want to do that and give him something to poke you with again?
A sound of pure exasperation escaped you, âUghâ
He turned, the movement fluid. A flicker of genuine surprise lit his features before it was smoothed over by that familiar, infuriating amusement. You forced your gaze to remain fixed on a point just past his shoulder, refusing to let it wander.
âJumpscare,â you said, your voice flat.
His signature grin was a little slower in the quiet dark, a little less sharp. âEnjoying the view?â
You just wanted your water. It was too late for witty comebacks or sharp tongued defenses. He wouldnât take you seriously anyway, heâd just twist it, turning your annoyance into a game you didnât know how to play. The thought of it sent a confusing, unwelcome thrill through you that you were too tired to confront.
âYeah, sure,â you sighed, the word laced with a resignation you felt deep in your bones
âMiss me?â he joked, voice stripped of its performative edge. Just something to fill the silence.
âUh huh, couldnât sleep,â you rolled your eyesâ took more effort than it used to, your own voice soft.
He was looking at you, shrugging, but with a quiet, unnerving focus. âI could always sing you a lullaby, try asking nicely,â Satoru chuckled, a vibrato of sound spilling against the air, smoothening into a sweet baritone, almost singsong.
âJust stick to photography, yeah? Donât find more things to terrorise us with.â you sigh, âand put on a shirt, you weirdo.â
âAhah,â he says, eyes sparkling with a glint of a child ready to talk about his favourite topic, before his hands picks up the tshirt lying on the couch, âyou know, started photography because I was terrible at drawing.â
The admission surprised you. You stayed silent, not quite asking him to continue, but a gesture that gave him space to talk.
âI could never get the lines right. Not like you,â he gestured vaguely in the direction of your room, where your sketchbook was hidden. âA camera, it captures the truth, but itâs a liar, too. You can crop out the messy parts. You can choose the angle. You can control the narrative,â he met your eyes, âwhat you do? Itâs the opposite. You donât crop. You donât hide the messy parts. You seek them out. You find the story in the scar tissue.â
Your breath caught. He understood. He truly understood what your art was about.
âYou were right, I guess, â he continued, his voice dropping, âabout the two-in-one shampoo. About the pudding cups. About all of itâ he let out a short, self deprecating laugh, âItâs kinda insulting, how right youâve always been.â
Oh.
This was the side of Satoru always hidden from you. Not the arrogant asshole, but the boy who was terrible at drawing, who noticed when a gap in your teeth closed, who felt exposed not by a camera, but by a charcoal pencil.
âYouâre not so bad yourself,â you whispered, âfor a photographer.â
A real, gentle smile touched his lips, one that unknowingly mirrors your own. Heâd been doing that a lot, or you were just seeing him differentlyâ it was becoming your favorite thing.
He pushed off the counter, but not towards the door. He took a few steps that closed the distance between you, stopping when he was far too close, the heat from his body a palpable force. The sincere smile you wore seconds ago was contorting into a nervous one. You shouldâve put your hands against his chest to keep the distance, you shouldnât have taken a step back to give him more space to cover. Now, your back was against the counter, with nowhere to retreat.
âGot a good look at it?â he asked, gaze intense and a slurry smile to pair, dropping pointedly to his own chest where the dark shape of the tattoo was now obscured by the thin cotton of his shirt.
âAt what?â you deflected, crossing your arms over your chest.
His grin widened. âMy ink. You were staring hard enough to burn a hole through me earlier. Couldnât make it out, could you?â
âI wasnât trying to, you were in my way. I was just looking at the fridge,â you lied, voice steadier than you felt.
âUh huh,â he hummed, âitâs a secret,â he breathed, leaning in just a little closer, âbut youâre an artist. You appreciate fine line work, donât you?â his eyes scanned your face, then drifted down your body in a leisurely, appraising sweep that made your skin prickle. âYou could try some as well. I think youâd suit it.â
His hand came up, and for whatever reason youâd make sense of laterâ you let him. He didnât grab you, didnât make a sudden move. He simply let his fingertips come to rest on the bare skin of your thigh, just above the hem of your shorts. The contact was a jolt of pure lightning, his skin treacherously warm against yours.
âYouâre not my stylist,â you said, a sharp inhale betraying your calm tone.
âJust thinking out loud,â he murmured, his voice a low, contemplative rumble. His fingers began a slow, idle journey upwards, tracing a path along your skin. The touch was feather light, a maddening graze that sent shivers in its wake, his palm was a brand of heat as it slid higher and up the sensitive flesh of your inner thigh. âA small one. Right here,â he tapped his finger, âmaybe something delicate. A trail of ivy.â
His fingers paused, his thumb brushing a slow, deliberate circle.
âOr,â he continued, aquamarine eyes darkening as they locked with yours. Then his head dipped, and you felt the soft exhalation of his breath, then the near silent brush of his lips against the hollow of your throat down to the curve of your collarbone. Your head fell back against the cabinet with a soft thud, an even softer sigh threatening to spill from your lips. âA piercing. Right hereâ a simple silver barbell.â His words were a vibration against your skin. âIâd feel it every time I kissed you there.â
Then he moved his head up, angling it perfectly into the crook of your neck, lips just a breath away from the sensitive akin. You fought back the urge to close your eyes shut, or to swallow. âIâve never seen collarbone piercings before,â was all you could blurt to distract yourself from the feverish onslaught.
Satoru hummed against your skin, you can practically feel his smirk, âI could show you so much more.â he says, and the soft exhale of his breath on your neck has your body reacting in a way you didnât think was possible, âi could give you so much more.â he continues, and you let himâ daring to see how far heâd go if you let him.
A full body shudder wracked you. âYouâre getting awfully ahead of yourself,â you breathed, hands gripping the edge of the counter behind you for support, and knuckles white.
âAm I?â he asked, his fingers flexing high on your thigh, pressing just a bit harder, a promise and a threat both. âIâm just appreciating . An artist considers their canvas, donât they?â His other hand came up, not touching you, but bracing on the counter beside your hip, caging you in completely.
His gaze swept over your face, lingering on the bridge of your nose, your cheeks. âWhat about right here? A tattoo, a little constellation of stars,â His thumb stroked your thigh againâ a slow, hypnotic rhythm. âI could connect them for you.â
âYouâre insane,â you managed, voice barely a whisper now. The warmth of his palm was branding you through the thin cotton of your shorts, his proximity an intoxicating mix of expensive cologne and pure, unadulterated Satoru.
âMaybe,â he murmured, his face so close you could feel his breath ghost over your lips. His gaze dropped to your mouth, lingering there until yours parted involuntarily, âbut youâre still here. Youâre not running.â
He was right. You were pinned, not just by his body, but by the raw, magnetic pull of him, by the scent of his skin and the searing heat of his touch mapping your thigh.
âSo,â he said, voice just a low vibration that went straight to your core, âwhat do you think? Feeling adventurous?â
Your mind was a blank slate, wiped clean by the sensation of his skin on yours, the phantom feel of his lips on your throat. All you could do was look up at him, your wide eyes meeting his burning blue ones, and give a tiny, almost imperceptible shake of your head. Not in denial, but in sheer, overwhelmed surrender.
A slow, triumphant smile spread across his face. âThatâs what I thought.â
He didnât move for a long moment, his hand a brand on your thigh, his gaze holding yours captive. The air crackled with everything unsaid, every unfulfilled promise his touch had made. You could feel the frantic beat of your own pulse under his palm.
Then, with a final, deliberate stroke of his thumb that made you shiver, he pulled his hand away. The cool kitchen air hit the spot heâd been warming, a sudden loss that felt like a physical ache.
He took a single step back, giving you just enough space to breathe but not enough to break the spell. His eyes, still dark with intent, crinkled at the corners.
âThink about it, Dots, maybe you could design me something new. â heâd winked at you with a boyish charm, voice nothing but a low, intimate rumble. He turned and walked out of the kitchen, leaving you leaning against the counter, your skin still buzzing from his touch, your mind racing with the phantom sensation of his hands and the imagined weight of silver against your throat.
The war was far from over, but the battlefield had just become infinitely more dangerous.
The nameâ Dots, the one youâve wanted to rid yourselfâ didnât feel like a jab this time. It was a key turning in a lock youâd kept sealed for over a decade.
The kitchen around you blurred, and for a dizzying second, you were eight years old again.
It was the first day of summer vacation, and the sun had already begun to paint its tiny, brown freckles across your nose and cheeks. Youâd noticed them in the mirror that morning, a new sprinkling you werenât sure you liked.
Satoru, eleven and already a giant in your eyes, had cornered you in the kitchen. Heâd leaned in, his head tilted, his blue eyes sharp and dissecting.
âWhoa,â heâd gasped, voice full of a clinical, unkind curiosity. âYour face is all⌠dotted. Like someone flicked a paintbrush, did you?â
Heâd poked your nose, hard. âYouâre like a little connect-the-dots puzzle. Heyâ Dots. Thatâs you.â
The name had stuck. For years, âDotsâ was his primary weapon. âMove it, Dots.â âHey, Dots, youâre blushing. Canât even tell with all the⌠you know.â
It was a constant, cruel reminder that your face was not your own, it was a public canvas for his commentary. Youâd spent years trying to scrub them away, hating the sun, mastering the art of the downward glance.
The memory shifted, sharpening into another specific agony. The Friday afternoon pudding cup ritual. Your mother bought the four packs: one for each of you. And every Friday, without fail, Satoru would steal yours.
He wouldnât just take it. Heâd perform a whole production. Heâd snatch it from your hands, hold it high above his head as you jumped for it, and then eat it in three large, deliberate bites, never breaking eye contact. The final act was always the same: heâd place the empty, hollow cup back on the counter directly in front of you with a soft, definitive clink.
Suguru would always have a cup saved for you, so itt was never about the pudding. It was about the principle. It was a weekly lesson in powerlessness. A reminder that what was yours could be taken by him, consumed, and the evidence left for you to clean up.
You blinked, the memory releasing its grip. You were back in the present, your knuckles white around the glass of water. Setting the water glass down, you crossed the room and pulled the fridge door open. The bright, sterile light spilled out, illuminating the shelves.
And there they were.
Not just one or two. A full, unopened four pack of the chocolate pudding cups. Your chocolate pudding cups. They were placed neatly on the middle shelf, right at eye level, impossible to miss.
You just stared.
Was it Suguru? It had to be. It was the kind of mundane, thoughtful thing heâd do, noticing you were out of a snack and quietly replacing it. A simple, brotherly gesture.
But then your eyes traced the presentation again. They werenât tucked away. They were centered, desplayed. It felt less like a grocery restock and more like a⌠presentation.
And thatâs when the real conflict hit you, a dizzying car crash of past and present. Because your mind, still raw from the memory of Satoruâs smug grin as he ate your pudding, should be rebelling. But it wasnât. Instead, it was replaying the heat of his palm on your thigh, the possessive stroke of his thumb, the low rumble of his voice suggesting constellations he could trace with his mouth.
The boy who had stolen from you was now offering. And the truly terrifying part wasnât the audacityâ it was the way your body responded. The same resentment youâd worn as armor for over a decade was melting under the memory of his searing touch. You could still feel the ghost of it, a brand that had nothing to do with anger and everything to do with a shocking, undeniable pull.
He wasnât just blurring the lines. He was systematically dismantling the entire mapping of your childhood resentment, and he wasnât using force. He was using the memory of his proximity, the phantom sensation of his fingers and presence slithering past your defenses like smoke and leaving you unalarmed. All it left was the searing possibility that this was his way of saying: I see you differently now.
And the most frightening thought of all whispered through you: So do I.
If this was his peace offering, it was working. Because looking at those pudding cups, all you could think about was the man who put them there, and the traitorous, thrilling hope that he was as undone by this new tension as you were.
Getting a wink of sleep wasnât possible that night.
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.
Suguruâs idea of âa fun outingâ was, as always, questionably sane. But a retrospective on perceptual art at the cityâs modern museum was, you had to admit, a tempting distraction from the tectonic shifts happening within your own apartment.
After 30 minutes of trotting around, the trio moved through the white walled galleries, a study in contrasts. Suguru was the thoughtful observer, hands in pockets, genuinely engaging with each piece. You were the analyst, your artistâs eye dissecting technique and composition.
And Satoru⌠he was a critic unleashed, his commentary a lazy, brilliant torrent that was equal parts insufferable and illuminating.
You all stop before a large canvas, an optical illusion depicting a large, endless staircase. â Ascension without Summit. â
âItâs a clever trick,â Suguru muses, âbut thereâs no real depth.â
Satoru snorted, not even bothering to look properly. âItâs forced perspective. A cheap parlor trick. Like using a wide angle lens to make a room look bigger. Isnât it just a flat lie?â He glanced at you, a glint in his eye. âYour brain knows itâs a dead end, but your eyes keep trying to find the focal point. Itâs pathetic, really.â
âOkay, geniusesâ you rolled your eyes, but a smile threatened your lips. He wasnât wrong. âMove on to the next.â
The next piece: a vast, pristine white canvas with a single, small, red dot in the center. â Cardinal. â
Suguru sighed. âNow this is just lazy.â
âLazy?â Satoru shoved his hands in his pockets, rocking back on his heels. âItâs a crop. The artist just framed out everything else.â He turned his head toward you. âItâs what you do when your subject is so strong, anything else in the frame is noise. That dot? Thatâs the only thing in focus. The rest is just⌠not important. Itâs like saying âI can make you stare at a red dot for 5 minutes and youâll feel something deep.ââ His eyes held yours for a moment too long. âAnd Suguâs staring at the dot. So I guess itâs working.â
Your heart did a stupid, little flip. He was talking about photography, but he was talking about you. About your sketchbook, where he was the only subject in focus.
The centerpiece was next, surprisingly not crowded at all.
It stood in the middle of the room, commanding the space: a massive, perfectly polished sphere of obsidian. It was dark, profound, and reflected the entire gallery in a warped, dreamlike panorama.
â Narcissusâ Echo. â
Suguru nodded, impressed. âNow this is something.â
Satoru circled it slowly, his own reflection elongating and compressing. âItâs a 360âdegree fisheye lens. The worst kind. Distorts everything at the edges, makes a mess of the proportions.â He stopped, his warped image staring at your warped image. âItâs the most honest shot in the place. No retouching, no good angles. Just a raw, bad, panoramic shot of how twisted things really are.â
Suguru hummed, background noise to you. To you, moments seemed to stretch endlessly. Under normal circumstances, up until 3 days ago, you wouldâve been incredibly annoyed at Satoruâs lazy dissection of art, in the way he effortlessly interprets itâ arrogant genius just spilling out because there really isnât anything heâs bad at. And he has to make an outrageous declaration of it.
But now, under these circumstances, it has simply left you awestruck.
Suguruâs phone buzzed. He glanced at it and sighed. âItâs mom. I have to take this. Donât⌠touch anything.â He gave Satoru a specific, warning look before stepping away.
The moment Suguru was out of earshot, the energy shifted. The buffer was gone.
Satoru didnât move, just kept looking at your reflection in the sphere. âSee? We look like aliens. Or melted candles.â A lazy grin spread across his face in the warped stone. âKinda suits us, donât you think?â
âSpeak for yourself,â you narrowed your eyes, though it didnât hold its usual bite. âItâs just a warped reflection.â
âNah,â his voice dropped, losing its teasing edge, becoming simple and direct, like weighed down by an unseen and unexplainable weight in the air that becomes evident every time you two are left alone, âitâs the shot before you fix it. This is the raw file. Everything else is just, good editing,â his eyes, in the reflection, locked onto yours. âThis is whatâs left when you leave it untouched.â
The air grew thicker, charged. The hushed murmurs of other patrons faded into a distant hum. There was only the sphere, and the two figures within it.
Satoru took a slow, deliberate step closer, his reflection swelling, his warped hand coming up to trace the outline of your warped cheek in the stone. You followed his movements silently,
âWhat would happen,â he whispered, his voice so low it was almost a vibration in the air between you, âif I touched this version of you? The one that only exists here, with me?â
You couldnât breathe.
A direct challenge. He was asking permission without asking.
âYouâre breaking the rules,â you breathed, hoping he heard the subtext you intended, âit clearly says to not touch and to keep your distance.â
A tender but dangerous, beautiful smile spread across his face in the reflection. No amount of obsidian warp could ever tarnish it,
âHmm,â he hummed, the endearment a shock to your system, silently whispered like a scandalous secret, âthink I donât wanna care anymore.â
And then he did it.
He leaned in. Not to you, but to the sphere. With a shocking, quiet certainty, he pressed his lips to the cold, hard surface of the obsidian. He kissed the exact spot where your warped, impossible mouth was reflected.
It wasnât a peck. It was a statement. A claim, a promise sealed not on your skin, but on a distorted image of itâ a testament to his desire for the raw, unedited truth of you.
He held it for a heartbeat, then pulled back, leaving a faint cloud of his breath on the stone that briefly obscured your image.
A security guard shifted his weight by the door, his eyes narrowing.
Satoru didnât flinch. He simply turned, shoulder brushing yours as he walked past, heading toward a bland landscape painting as if heâd already forgotten the universe shattering thing he just did.
He left you standing there, your real lips burning as if theyâd been touched, the ghost of his kiss cooling on the black mirror in front of you. The challenge had been issued. And heâd left you with the silent, screaming question: what are you going to do about it?
The living room was a cathedral of quiet concentration. The golden hour light streamed in, thick and honeyed, illuminating dust motes dancing in the air like forgotten prayers. Your final projectâ a series of root studies exploring foundation and hidden strengthâ was nearly complete.
You were adding the last, microscopic textures to a gnarled oak root, your entire being poured into the tip of your charcoal pencil. This was your sanctuary, a space where you had control.
The sanctity was breached not with a sound, but with a shift in the atmosphere.
You felt him before you saw himâ a change in the air pressure, a subtle warmth that had nothing to do with the sun. Satoru drifted into the room and sank onto the far end of the couch without a word, a photography book in hand. He was pretending to read, but you could feel the weight of his attention like a physical touch on the back of your neck. The silence between you was no longer empty; it was full, charged with everything left unspoken since the museum, since the pudding cups, since the shattering of your sketchbookâs privacy.
You tried to ignore him, to lose yourself in the intricate lines of your drawing. But your hand, which had always been so sure, betrayed you. The root began to curve with a familiar, arrogant sweep, its end starting to look suspiciously like the line of a jaw you knew too well.
Nahâ not happening again.
âYouâre sighing,â he stated, his voice a low rumble in the quiet room.
âI am not.â
âYou are. Itâs the little frustrated huff. Youâve done it since you were twelve and couldnât figure out your algebra homework, â he turned a page in his book, not looking at you, âthe problem canât be that hard.â
âThe problem is the distraction,â you retorted, finally glancing at him.
He met your gaze over the top of his book, and the connection was a live wire. The easy tease in his eyes was a veneer; beneath it was something warmer, more curious. âMaybe the distraction is the point.â
He dog-eared his pageâ a habit you knew infuriated Suguruâ and set the book aside. He leaned forward, his elbows on his knees, and just watched you work. It wasnât an invasion, it was an immersion. He was studying you with the same intensity you had once reserved for him.
After a long, quiet moment, he reached out and plucked a stray sheet of high quality drawing paper and a fresh charcoal pencil from your toolkit.
âHeyââ
âRelaaaaax, Iâm not defacing your masterpiece.â
His voice was soft, almost a whisper. âJust⌠making one of my own.â
Satoru began to draw, gaze flicking between you and the paper. But he wasnât looking at your face, not exactly. He was looking at the space around you. The silence stretched, becoming a tangible thing, woven with the sound of two sets of breathing and the twin scratches of charcoal on paper. It was the most intimate sound you had ever heard.
After what felt like an eternity, he held up his sheet.
And your breath caught.
It was a study of negative space. He had captured the perfect, empty shape framed by the curve of your shoulder and the fall of your hair. The elegant void between your arm and your waist. The air your silhouette displaced in the world. It was your presence defined not by your form, but by the emptiness you left behind. It was a confessionâ an acknowledgment that your absence would now be a palpable thing to him.
âSee?â he said, voice hushed and reverent. âYou have a shape, Dots. A specific, important shape. Youâre not just there. Hard to ignore Iâd say.â
The kindness, the sheer seeing in that gesture, the fragile softness of his voice and haze alikeâ it all undid you. It was more intimate than any touch could have been. You looked from the drawingâ a testament to his perceptionâ back to his face, and found him watching you with an expression so open it was almost painful.
Youâre caught speechless. Back and forth between deciding to spur a series of snarky remarks, or say something outrageously grateful.
âI thought you said you couldnât draw.â You settle on changing the topic.
Satoru raised his eyebrows, âCouldnât yeah, you think I was gonna live with that?â
The smirk resurfaces. You try to hate it, but itâs just not possible anymore.
âShow me,â he murmured, his eyes dropping to the closed cover of your main sketchbook. The one that held your soul, ââŚplease? Please.â
The âpleaseâ was his undoing, and yours. It was so un-Satoru-like in the most mundane way possible, so vulnerably sincere.
Your throat tightened. You had to say no, no matter how much he pleaded. You shook your head, a barely perceptible movement, âNot happening.â
He didnât push, didnât get angry. He simply accepted it, albeit with a dramatically enforced pout, a faint shadow of disappointment crossing his features before it was replaced by a new, determined softness.
âThen draw me again,â he said, voice regaining a sliver of its old playful charm, âdraw me like one of your French girls.â
Satoru fucking giggled, striking an absurd, dramatic pose on the couch, eyes never losing their intense focus on you, just weighed down with a performed intensity for the pose.
You couldnât help the laugh that escaped you, and he laughed along with you. A shared, tender joke.
But it died quickly under the weight of his gaze that still pressed. The tease was a gateway to something more.
He relaxed the pose, expression turning serious, his voice barely a whisper, âNo, seriously. Draw what youâre scared of.â
You knew. Of course, you knew. You had drawn every part of him you could safely observeâ his hands, his mouth, the vulnerable nape of his neck, the frustratingly perfect line of his back as he walked away.
But you had never, ever drawn his eyes. To do that was to admit you were drowning in them. To acknowledge that this was no longer a study, but a surrender.
Satoru saw the panic and the understanding warring in your face. He held himself perfectly still, an offering. Piercing blue eyes, usually so full of mockery and mischiefâ were now deep, clear pools of unwavering patience and intent.
âGo on,â he breathed, the words nothing but a soft caress in the space between you, âdraw my eyes.â
He didnât look away. He gave you everything, holding your gaze with a terrifying honesty.
âIâll follow,â he promised.
And to you, the tension broke. Iâll follow. Two words that rewrote fifteen years of history. He was no longer the boy walking ahead; he was the man asking to be led, to be seen, to be captured by you.
With a hand that trembled, you slowly, deliberately, closed your finished project folder. You opened your sketchbook to a pristine white page. When you looked up, and his gaze was right there, waitingâ deep, endless, and full of a quiet storm.
You put your charcoal to the paper. And as you began the terrifying, beautiful work of mapping the universe in his eyes, he kept his promise. His gaze remained locked on yours, following every breath, every flicker of your lashes, every subtle shift in your expression. It was the most profound silence of your life, a silent conversation more intimate than any kiss, a confession etched not in words, but in the quiet, shared act of finally, truly, seeing each other.
When the final line was drawn, you lowered your charcoal, hand trembling not from effort, but from the sheer emotional toll of the act. You had done it. You had captured his eyesâ not just their shape and color, but the startling intensity within them, the focused softness he had reserved only for you in that moment.
For a long time, neither of you moved. The connection held, a taut, silent thread between your gaze and his. The world outside the living room had ceased to exist.
Slowly, ever so slowly, a smile touched his lips. It wasnât triumphant or teasing. It was awed.
âCan I see?â he asked, voice hushed.
Your instinct was to snap the book shut, but the raw honesty in his eyes forbade it. You gave a single, shaky nod.
Satoru moved with a deliberate slowness, shifting from the couch to kneel on the floor beside you. His proximity was a wave of warmth, shoulder just a hairâs breadth from yours.
You held the sketchbook out between you.
He didnât say a word. He just looked. His eyes scanned the page, tracing every line you had drawn of his own gaze. You saw his adamâs apple bob as he swallowed.
âWow,â he breathed, the word full of reverence. He finally tore his eyes from the page to look at you. âYou⌠you see this? When you look at me, you see this?â
You could only nod, your throat too tight for words, âSurely itâs not the first time someone drew your eyes.â
His gaze was a physical weight, he shook his head as if you said a really dumb thing, âItâs the first time you drew them, thatâs what matters to me. No one else,â he whispered, ânot even close.â
Satoru reached out, his movement infinitely slow. His fingers came to hover just beside the sketchbook, his pinky finger gently brushing against the hand that held it. The contact was a jolt of pure lightning.
âYouâre shaking,â he observed, his voice low and thick.
âSo are you,â you whispered back, noticing the faint tremor in his own outstretched hand.
A soft, disbelieving laugh escaped him. âYeah,â he admitted, âI am.â
The air was so thick with unsaid things it was hard to breathe. His eyes dropped to your lips, and your to him. The pull in the air was only growing stronger, and the moment you felt the air shift with the imperceptible movement of his shoulder dipping forward, your lips parting in resigned welcomeâ the sharp sound of a key turning in the front door lock shattered the silence like gunfire.
You both flinched apart as if scalded. You snapped the sketchbook shut, your heart hammering. Satoru pushed himself back onto the couch, grabbing his book, the picture of nonchalance. But the faint flush on his neck betrayed him.
Suguru walked in, dropping his keys in the bowl. âUh, whatâs up? You two are quiet.â
âJust reading,â Satoru said, his voice impressively steady.
âFinishing my project,â you added at the same time, your voice embarrassingly breathy.
Suguru looked between the two of you, his brow slightly furrowed. âUh huh, well, Iâm ordering pizza. The usual?â
âYeah,â you both chorused.
Suguruâs frown deepened slightly before he shrugged and headed for the kitchen.
The moment he was gone, your eyes met Satoruâs across the room. The intensity was still there, but now it was laced with a shared, frantic secret. He didnât smile. He just held your gaze, and in his eyes, you saw a promise and an apology.
The moment was gone, but the shift was permanent. The slow burn was no longer a smolder, it was a flame, carefully guarded, waiting for the next gust of wind to set everything ablaze.
.
.
.
The front door clicked shut behind Suguru, leaving the apartment in a sudden, heavy silence. He had muttered something along the lines of forgetting his thesis in the library along with a string of curses before leaving. And Satoru had vanished into his room the moment the pizza boxes were empty, a retreat that felt charged, not casual. You were left alone in the living room, the ghost of his near kiss still humming on your skin.
Then you rememberedâ your art history paper. It was due by midnight, and you needed to print it. Suguruâs printer was out of ink. A knot of dread and something else, something thrilling, tightened in your stomach. There was only one other option.
You padded softly to his door, the hallway floor cool under your feet. You knocked, a quick, nervous rap.
âItâs openâ, his voice was muffled.
You pushed the door open just enough to see him. He was sitting at his desk, back to you, scrolling through his phone. The room was surprisingly neat, dominated by the large monitor on his desk.
âHey,â you started, your voice sounding small. âSuguruâs printer is dead. Can IâŚ?â
Satoru swiveled in his chair, face unreadable for a second before he nodded. âYeah. Sure. Itâs all set upâ, he gestured to the laptop on his desk, âpasswordâs the same as beforeâ
He stood, stretching, and you caught the faint, now familiar scent of his cologne. âGonna grab a drink, knock yourself out.â
He brushed past you in the doorway, a brief, electric contact, and disappeared down the hall towards the kitchen.
The room felt different without him in it. It felt like his space, and you were an intruder. You sat in his stillâ warm chair, the leather sighing under your weight. Opening his laptop, typed in the ridiculous password â âiamthehonoured101â â and found the printer queue. You sent your file, the soft whirring of the printer in the corner a comforting, normal sound.
As you went to close the browser, a folder icon on his desktop caught your eye. It was labeled simply, almost clinically: portfolio_new.
Curiosity, that fatal, clawing thing, got the better of you. He did it to your sketchbook, itâs fair enough.
It wasnât cityscapes. It wasnât wilderness. It wasnât random memories captured with Suguru or his family.
Alright. Guess what.
It was you.
OoookayâŚ. Dozens, maybe hundreds of images filled the screen. Your breath is quite literally knocked out of your lungs.
This wasnât a random collection. It was a study, a catalogue. Just like your sketchbook.
There was a series of you laughing, your head thrown back, caught in a moment of unguarded joy you didnât even remember. Another of you focused on your sketchbook, the tip of your tongue caught between your teeth, the light from the window haloing your hair. A close-up, almost abstract shot of the freckles across your nose.
But the one that made your heart stop was the one taken from the living room couch. You were asleep, curled into a ball, your face soft and peaceful. The composition was perfect, the lighting tender. It was the photographic equivalent of your drawing of him sleeping. It was just as intimate, just as stolen.
He saw you. Not as Suguruâs little sister, or an annoyance, or a challenge. He saw the quiet moments. The peaceful ones. The beautiful ones.
The door creaked.
You slammed the laptop shut, spinning the chair around so fast you got dizzy.
Satoru stood in the doorway, holding a glass of water, his eyes flicking from your horrified face to the closed laptop and back. The casual ease from the kitchen was gone, replaced by a frozen stillness. The air was sucked from the room.
He knew. He knew exactly what youâd seen.
The parallel was perfect, devastating. You had seen his soul in your charcoal lines. He had seen yours through his lens.
He didnât speak. He didnât blush or look away. He just stood there, completely exposed, his secret laid bare between you. The hunter, caught in his own trap.
Slowly, he walked forward and set the glass of water down on the desk next to the laptop. His knuckles were white.
âFind what you were looking for?â he asked, voice low and rough, stripped bare of all its usual armor.
You couldnât answer. You just stared up at him, the world tilting on its axis once more.
This time, you were both the artist and the muse. Both the thief and the treasure. And in the silent, charged space between you, the only thing that was clear was that the game was over.
Something real had begun.
The silence in his room was a physical thing, heavy and suffocating and determined to be acknowledged. You could hear the frantic beat of your own heart, a wild drum against your ribs. The images from his laptop were burned onto the back of your eyelids. Him, standing frozen in the doorway, knew it.
âWhy?â the word tore out of you, sharp and broken. All the confusion of the past few weeks, the whiplash from his teasing to his tenderness, boiled over. âWhy are you doing this? All those years⌠you were a jerk. A complete and total jerk. You called me names, you stole my puddings and ate it in front of me just to watch me get mad. You touched all my insecurities and made a joke out of them, and now⌠now you have a folder of pictures of me like some⌠some precious thing? Am I a plaything to you? Is this just a new game?â
Your voice cracked, betraying the hurt youâd carried for over a decade.
Satoru didnât flinch, he just watched you, blue eyes dark with an emotion you couldnât name.
Then, he took a step forward. And another. Until he was standing right in front of you, so close you could feel the heat coming off his body.
âNo,â he said, his voice low and rough. âItâs not a game. It was neverâŚâ
Slowly, so slowly it made your breath catch, he raised his hand. His fingers, trembling just slightly, came up to your face. They didnât grab, they didnât poke. They brushed, with a shocking tenderness, across the bridge of your nose, tracing the path of your freckles.
You flinched, the old insecurity surging up. âDonâtâ I know,â you whispered, turning your face away, your cheeks burning, âtheyâre just dots to youâ
His hand stilled, then gently cupped your jaw, forcing your gaze back to his. Maybe because he couldnât find it in him to look you in the eyes, Satoru let his head drop on your shoulder, yet the intensity there was overwhelming.
âTheyâre not dots,â he said, his voice barely a whisper, a flitter against your neck laced with a painful sincerity, âI was a stupid kid. A stupid, fucking kid who didnât know the word for âconstellationâ, Iâve been trying to map it my entire life.â
The air left your lungs in a rush. Constellation.
You were blushing furiously now, the heat spreading down your neck. You had to fight back, to cling to the familiar ground of your resentment,
âYou stole my pudding cups, my favourites,â you accused, your voice weaker now, losing its fight.
A sad, almost ashamed smile touched his lips, you felt it against your skin, the movement of his lips burning soft pecks, white tuff of hair tickling, âit was the only way I knew how to get your attention without breaking the rulesmâ
Satoru raised his head up and leaned in closer, his forehead almost touching yours. His confession hung in the space between you, pathetic and profound.
âItâs really that stupid,â he murmured, his breath ghosting over your lips, âa kid, being mean to the one thing he couldnât have. Because if I was nice⌠if I let myself be nice to youâ I would have ruined everything. Suguruâ IâŚâ
He didnât finish. He didnât have to. The truth was finally out, naked and raw. All the years of cruelty, a desperate, clumsy armor for a crush he thought was forbidden.
When he lifted his gaze to finally meet yours, his other hand came up, framing your face, with a touch impossibly gentle. You were surrounded by him, by his heat, his scent, his devastating honesty. The last of your defenses crumbled mercilessly.
âYouâre just an idiot,â you breathed, but there was no venom left, only a shaky, disbelieving wonder.
A real, genuine smile broke through his pained expression. âYeah,â he agreed, his voice thick with emotion, âI know.â
And then, finally, he closed the last inch of space between you, and his lips met yours.
The kiss wasnât gentle. It wasnât supposed to be.
His lips were soft, yet insistent, moving against yours with a hunger that stole the air from your lungs. His lips were everywhere, surrounding your mouth with a wet warmth. It was a kiss that tasted of fifteen years of unsaid words, of stolen glances, and the bittersweet relief of a truth finally set free. A low, ragged sound vibrated in his throat, a mix of desperation and triumph.
His hands, which had been so tenderly framing your face, began to move. One slid back, his fingers tangling deep in your hair, tilting your head to a better angle, claiming you completely.
The other hand drifted down, his palm a hot brand through the fabric of your shirt, sliding from the curve of your waist to the small of your back. He pulled you flush against him, and you felt the hard, solid line of his body, the frantic beat of his heart echoing your own.
You were drowning in him. The scent of his cologne, the taste of him, the feel of his handsâ it was an overload that shortcircuited every thought except oneâ more.
Your own hands, which had been frozen at your sides, came to life. They crept up, fists clenching in the soft cotton of his tshirt, holding on as if he were the only solid thing in a spinning world. A soft, helpless whimper escaped you, swallowed by his mouth.
He took the sound as an invitation. His tongue swept against the seam of your lipsâ a bold, asking stroke. You opened for him without hesitation, a final surrender.
When he broke the kiss, both of you panting, foreheads resting together. His blue eyes were dark, pupils blown wide with a sincerity that clashed starkly with his lips now swollen with sin and desire.
âSee?â, Satoru breathed, voice a raw, wrecked thing. His thumb stroked over your kiss-swollen bottom lip, âNot a game. Never was, and never, ever will be.â
He didnât wait for a reply. He leaned in again, but this time his mouth left a trail of searing, open mouthed kisses along your jaw, down the sensitive column of your throat. Hands growing bolder, the one in your hair tightened its grip, a gentle, possessive anchor. The other slid from your backside, around your hip. His fingertips brushing the sensitive skin of your lower stomach, just under the hem of your shirt. The touch was electric, a promise of things to come, and you shuddered against him, your body following his leadâ yielding, wanting, finally allowing itself to feel everything it had been denied for so, so long.
Your lips are swollen from the kiss when he pulls back, breathing hard, eyes blown wide and hungry. Sweat beads at his temples, strands of his white hair sticking to his skin, but he doesnât noticeâ heâs staring at you like youâre something holy. His thumb drags across your cheekbone, rough pad catching faintly on your skin, before he ducks back down and kisses you there. Then lower, along your temple, then the bridge of your nose.
His mouth lingers on every freckle like heâs making tally marks with his lips. His voice is rough when it breaks through between kisses.
âGod, I used to make fun of these âcause I didnât know what else to do with myself,â he admits, the sound almost a growl against your skin, âcouldnât tell you I wanted to kiss them. All of them.â
The confession burns hotter than his mouth, and you whimper, hands twisting in the cotton of his shirt. The sound makes him grinâ crooked, unrestrainedâ and he tips his forehead against yours once again, your breaths tangling into a hot mess between your lips. Then he sits back just enough to yank his shirt off, fabric sliding over his shoulders in one swift motion.
Your breath catches hard.
His chest is lean, all smooth lines of muscle, skin flushed faint pink. But your eyes are pulled elsewhere, caught fast: ink, etched across his collarbone. The tattoo you couldnât properly see that dayâ a dandelion, its delicate head blowing apart like caught in a phantom wind.
Your throat tightens. The memory slams into youâ summer air, your hands shoving a dandelion under his nose, an offering your innocent self made to bridge gaps, his laughter as he called it a weed and blew the seeds away. Youâd never forgotten his dismissal.
But nowâ âYou⌠got that?â your voice cracks.
His grin falters into something softer, almost shy. âGuess it stuck with me. I wanted to keep it, wanted to keep you.â His hand finds yours, warm and steady, guiding your palm to the tattoo. His skin is hot under your touch. He presses your hand flat against it. âGo on. Make a wish now.â
Your chest aches, but the words tangle and vanish before you can say them. He doesnât waitâ his mouth finds yours again, hungrier, urgent. This kiss tastes different: less hesitation, more claim.
You barely notice when he shifts, pushing you back against the mattress. The sheets bunch under your shoulder blades as his weight settles over you heavy and grounding.
His hands skim your sides, tentative but desperate, until they catch at the hem of your shirt. His eyes flick up, searching, dark and asking, âTell me to stop, I will.â
Instead, you nod, heart in your throat, and lift your arms, âdonât want you to.â
Satoru drags your shirt off slowly, gaze catching like a flame on bare skin. His lips part when your bra comes into view, and his breath stutters audibly. âFuck,â he mutters, voice thick, and almost reverent, âbeen dreaming about this.â
He doesnât rush. His mouth is everywhere, covering you like worship. He maps constellations out of freckles with the drag of his lips, your collarbones, your sternum, your stomach. Every kiss sears, every brush of his mouth feels like a tentative stroke of an artist mapping his heartâs desire on his favorite canvasâ and it leaves you trembling. âGonna kiss every one,â he promises, voice muffled against your skin, âmake sure you never forget how perfect you are.â
By the time he strips you fully, your nerves are frayed and your body is thrumming. Goosebumps trail in the wake of his touch. When he spreads your thighs, settling between them, the coarse hair of his legs brushes your softer skin, making you shiver. His tattoo brushes the inside of your knee as he shifts lower, lips hovering.
âNervous?â he asks, thumb stroking your trembling hipbone.
âA little,â you admit, voice small and throat dry.
âGood.â His smirk cuts sharp, but his eyes stay soft. âMeans you care. Iâll take care of you, y/n, just trust me.â
And then he lowers his head.
The first flick of his tongue has you jerking, back arching off the mattress. The sensation is molten, wetter and hotter than youâd imagined. He hums low, pleased, the vibration traveling through your cunt. His tongue works slow at first, tasting, teasingâ then hungrier, lapping like heâs been waiting years.
âFuck, you taste so sweet,â he groans into you, words hot against your skin, tongue flicking kittenish licks at your clit, âGonna make you come on my tongue before I even fuck you baby, you want that?â
Your hands fly into his hair, gripping tight, dragging desperate sounds out of your throat. He groans when you tug, burying deeper, alternating between sucking your clit and sliding one slender finger inside. He stretches you carefully, curling them just right until your thighs spasm around his head.
He pulls back briefly, lips and chin slick with you. âLook at you,â he rasps, eyes flashing. âNever let anyone touch you before? Saving it all for me like a good girl.â
âG-Gojoââ
âSatoru,â he corrects through a mouthful of cunt, âSay it baby, say Satoru.â
âSatoruâ!â you cry out when he inserts another finger in, a sweet kisses presses into your inner thigh. Satoru relishes in the sweet mess heâs making out of you.
âThatâs right, sweetheart,â He thrusts his fingers deeper, curling hard until you cry out, âsay my name, only mine.â
Itâs too muchâ itâs so much more than anything you couldâve ever imagined, and not enough at the same time. You break on his mouth with a sob and a violent shudder, climax tearing through you. Your thighs tremble around his head, nails scratching his scalp, but he doesnât let up. Satoru only groans into you, drinking everything you give until you collapse, gasping.
He doesnât leave you a momentâs reprieve. He kisses back up your body, mouth hot and messy, tongue tangling with yours so you taste yourself on his lips. Freckles get pecked in passing, neck, jaw, cheeks, until he reaches your mouth again.
âReady?â he murmurs, breathless, making quick work of his pants and boxers, rutting his cock against your thigh. He has your thigh thrown over his shoulder, with a tenderness that has your body resigning to him. The heat of it makes your stomach clench. Heâs flushed, precum slicking the head, smearing against your skin.
You nod, but nerves flutter sharp through you. He notices instantly. His hand cups your jaw, thumb stroking soft as he guides himself down. âWeâll go slow. Promise iâll be gentle, just sit with me, yeah? let me in.â
The push is slow, agonizing. The blunt head nudges into you, stretching untested walls. Your gasp breaks sharp, nails clawing his back. Pain burns, spreading, and you cling harder.
âBreathe,â he whispers, kissing the corner of your mouth, then softer, dotting along your cheek, kissing every freckle he can reach, âIâve got you baby, fuckâ youâre so tight, my perfect girl.â
Your nails are digging deep into his back, and somewhere in the back of your mind you think you should apologize, but then Satoru grins with the flex of his back muscles under your touch.
He bottoms out, hips flushing to yours. Heâs shaking, every muscle strung taut, but he doesnât move. His forehead drops to yours, panting. âTell me when, sweetheart.â
The ache melts into heat slowly, your walls clenching around him to accommodate him, and when you nod, he exhales ragged, like heâs been drowning.
The first thrust is shallow, measured. Then another, deeper. Pleasure strikes bright like stats in daylight, your moans spilling unchecked.
Satoru loses composure quickly. His voice cracks, rough with restraint and hunger. âFuckâ been waiting to ruin you for years. My girl. My sweet little virgin. No one else gets this.â
Your walls flutter, and his smirk sharpens. He grabs your wrist suddenly, pressing your palm flat against the inked dandelion over his heart. âHold onto me, right here, donât let go.â
He builds a rhythmâ slow at first, then harder, rougher, deeperâ dragging filthy words out of himself between kisses. A string of saliva connects your lips when satoru pulls back to let you breathe, âneedy little thing. So fucking good for me, gâna make you cry on my cock babyâ
Tears collect on your eyelashes, and Satoru feels the overwhelming urge to wipe them should they ever spill.
Your head tips back, overwhelmed, but his fingers grip your chin, forcing your gaze on him.
âEyes on me, sweetheart. Wanna see whoâs fucking you.â
You break, sobbing his name, climax snapping through you. Your body clamps around him, and he groans ragged, hips jerking. âFuckââ he gasps, spilling himself inside you, rutting deeper and deeper as the orgasm settles.
Satoru mutters a string of curses, sighing deeply into the crook of your neck. He hasnât even pulled out completely, too busy with peppering your skin with as many marks as he can. As if making up for the time lost in trying to restrain himself before.
After, he stays inside you, trembling, forehead resting to yours. âYou okay?â he whispers, thumb brushing away a stray tear.
You nod weakly, not being able to form words in your haze.
He grins faint, smug but tender, pressing one more kiss to your nose. âFreckle count went up by twenty,â he murmurs. âPretty sure I added them myself.â
You roll your eyes, but melt anyway when he kisses you again, the nectar of the universe tasting sweet on his lips, his snow-coloured hair becoming a beautiful disheveled mess tangled in your fingers.
You stay like that for a long time, minds taking vacation in the warmth of your bodies melding together and ghosting over you bodies like a second blanket.
It began with the small, seismic shifts in the apartmentâs atmosphere.
Suguru, a man who prized peace and order, felt it firstâ a new frequency humming in the air, a secret language spoken in glances and accidental touches.
It started subtly. A new, unspoken game of cat and mouse began in the apartment, with Suguru as the increasingly perplexed cat.
The plan was simple: act normal. For two people whose entire relationship was built on a foundation of chaotic banter, it should have been easy.
It was not.
It started at the convenience store. The three of you were at the slurpee machine.
âDonât tell me youâre getting that radioactive red cherry again,â Satoru said, his voice dripping with mock disdain as he positioned himself at the blue raspberry spigot.
âRich coming from someone who likes the flavour that tastes like a cleaning product,â you shot back, your hand hovering over the cherry lever, âitâs literally the color of a sad swimming pool.â
âItâs the color of awesome,â he corrected, filling his cup with the electric blue liquid, âThis has personality. Yours is just⌠red, basic.â
âItâs a classic! Youâre basic. â
Suguru finished paying for his black coffee and watched the two of you from near the hot dog roller, his expression unreadable, âAre you two finished? Or do you need to file formal complaints about each otherâs life choices?â
You both fell silent, shooting each other one last, heated glare before turning to payâ a silent agreement to continue this cold war elsewhere.
The truce held until you were all in the car. Suguru drove, you were in the back, and Satoru, who had always been the one riding shotgun when Suguru driver, had suddenly slid into the backseat next to you, claiming the passenger seat was âgetting too much sunâ
It was 6pm, twilight breaking through.
For a few minutes, the only sounds were the hum of the engine and the aggressive slurping of Slurpees.
Then, Suguruâs eyes flicked up to the rearview mirror. He frowned.
âOkay,â he said, his tone casual. âWhy are your tongues purple?â
The question landed in the quiet car with the subtlety of a grenade.
You and Satoru froze, straws still in your mouths. Your brains, which had been blissfully occupied with sugar and secret thigh brushing, screeched to a halt.
Satoru yanked his straw out, âWhy wouldnât it be?â he blurted out, a little too defensively.
âYeah,â you chimed in, your voice tight, âitâs a slurpee, thatâs⌠what they do.â
Suguruâs skeptical gaze in the mirror was sharper than a razor. âYou,â he said, nodding at you, âCherry. Red.â He then nodded at Satoru, âYou. Blue Raspberry. Blue. You didnât get a purple one. You hate each otherâs flavorsâ
The air was sucked from the car. The truthâ that youâd ducked behind a tall shelf of motor oil, grabbed the front of Satoruâs shirt, and kissed him with a desperate, sugary intensity until your individual flavors had swirled into one incriminating shadeâ was a physical force pressing on your chest.
â ...so what are you suggestingâŚâ you coughed and laughed awkwardly, completely missing the point of his deduction.
âYEAH WHAT ARE YOU SUGGESTING? ITâS NOT LIKE WE MADE OUT OR ANYTHING!!!â, Satoru added because it was obviously the right thing to say.
You turned to him with the horrified face of a person in utter disbelief.
Suguruâs eyes narrowed. He let the silence hang, thick and uncomfortable, âI wasnât gonna suggest anything,â he said, his voice dangerously slow and deliberate.
Silence. And the synchronised sound of gulping.
Suguruâs eyebrow inched higher, âI was going to ask if you, I donât know, finally acted like normal people and tried a sip of each otherâs drinks â, he sighed, âbut you know what, I donât really wanna know anymoreâ
The second incident followed shortly after. Movie night.
The dinner table feels like a battlefield. Suguru, your unwitting general, has taken his seat next to you, a bastion of obliviousness. Satoru is in the chair in front of you. The opening credits of some action movie are rolling, but youâre not seeing any of it. Your entire world has shrunk to the space under the coffee table.
Then you feel it. A nudge against your bare foot. Itâs not an accident. Itâs a question.
Donât you dare, you think, curling your toes. Heâs right there. Suguru is right there.
Another nudge, more insistent this time. Satoruâs big toe presses against your arch. Itâs warm. A shiver runs straight up your spine. This is so stupid. This is so juvenile. Your heart is hammering against your ribs like itâs trying to escape. Against your better judgment, you uncurl your toes and press back.
A silent, secret war begins. A gentle press of his sole against your ankle. A retaliatory poke from your toe. He traces a lazy circle on your instep, and you have to bite the inside of your cheek to stop a completely inappropriate sound from escaping. This is insane. You are losing your mind over toes. Youâre so focused on the game, on the electric current running between your foot and his, that you donât notice the movie has hit a quiet, dialogue heavy scene.
Suguru clears his throat. The sound is like a gunshot in the quiet room.
âSatoru.â
âYeah?â Satoruâs voice is a little too casual.
âIf youâre trying to give me a foot massage,â Suguru says, his eyes still glued to the screen, âyouâre doing a terrible job, please fucking stop."
Oh my god. The toe that was drawing patterns on your foot freezes, then retracts so fast you feel the air move. You yank your own foot back, tucking it safely under you. The spell is shattered, replaced by a wave of pure, unadulterated mortification. He thought it was him. Satoru was massaging Suguruâs foot.
âYour feet looked⌠tense,â Satoru mumbles. Itâs the weakest, most pathetic excuse you have ever heard in your life.
âMy feet are fine,â Suguru replies, not even bothering to grant him a glance. He picks up the remote and turns the volume up, âLet me watch the movie in peace.â
You just sit there, burning up with a mixture of humiliation and a strange, giddy relief that you werenât the one caught.
On the third day, the tension had become a physical ache. Itâs a low grade hum under your skin, a constant awareness of where Satoru is in the apartment. You decide to do laundry, a suitably mundane and solitary task. Youâre in the small laundry room, sorting whites from colors, the rhythmic thumping of the washer a comforting sound.
The door clicks open behind you. You donât have to turn to know itâs him. The air changes.
âHiding?â Satoruâs voice is soft, close.
âWorking,â you correct, not turning around, focusing very hard on a sock. âItâs a novel concept. You should try it.â
He doesnât reply. Instead, his hands settle on your hips, his touch gentle but firm. He spins you around slowly until youâre facing him, backed against the vibrating dryer. The room is small, cramped. Heâs everywhere.
âSatoru,â you whisper, a warning. âSuguru isââ
ââin his room, with his noise canceling headphones on, probably listening to a podcast about the migratory patterns of arctic terns,â he finishes, his hands sliding from your hips to the small of your back, pulling you flush against him, âWeâre safe.â
This is a terrible idea. This is how people get caught. But his chest is solid against yours, and his eyes, in the dim laundry room light, are so, so blue. He dips his head, his nose brushing against yours. âMissed you,â he murmurs, and the words are so simple, so devastatingly honest, that all your resolve melts.
âYou saw me at breakfast,â you breathe, your hands finding their way to his shoulders.
âA lifetime ago.â His lips are inches from yours.
The laundry room door swings open.
Suguru stands there, a single, lonely dress sock in his hand. He looks from Satoruâs hands on your back, to your faces, which are undoubtedly flushed and guilty, to the pile of sorted laundry.
Your pointed elbow hits hard into Satoru's ribs, with more force than intended due to the urgency of the scene. A pained yelp leaves his mouth which you ignore all too easy, "M-My shoulders are fine! I told you I didn't need any massage."
Suguru stands poker faced, pointing to the sock in his hand. He is much too tired for this, "If you find the other one, let me know."
The door clicks shut. Satoru is still coughing from pain.
By day four, Suguru was panifully exhausted.
The air in the living room was thick enough to chew, and the strategy had devolved from âsubtle indifferenceâ to âperformative hostility.â
This, it turned out, was a catastrophic miscalculation.
Suguru was ensconced in his favorite armchair, a book open in his lap. He hadnât turned a page in twenty minutes. His attention was fixed on the scene unfolding on the floor around the coffee table, where you and Satoru were engaged in a fiercely competitive game of Scrabble. Or, more accurately, a fiercely competitive performance of one.
âTaking your time, I see,â you snipped, tapping your nails on the floor. You aimed for a tone of bored impatience, but it came out shrill and overly invested.
âGenius canât be rushed,â Satoru retorted without looking up from his letter rack. He was trying to sound aloof, but the set of his shoulders was rigid with tension.
Suguruâs eyes traveled from your strained face to Satoruâs clenched jaw, and then returned to his page. He said nothing.
Satoru, finally seeing his opening, moved and laid down his tiles: HâAâTâE. He placed the âEâ directly on a double word score square.
âSixteen points,â he announced, a smug, brittle smile plastered on his face. He leaned back, crossing his arms, âLetâs see you top that.â The subtextâ Look how little I care about you!â was practically screaming through the room.
Your heart hammered against your ribs. This was your chance to prove your own feigned indifference. You studied your letters: S, L, O, V, E, and a blank.
A brilliant, idiotic idea bloomed in your mind. It was so clever, so perfectly a secret message hidden in plain sight.
You reached out, your fingers deliberately steady. First, you placed the S at the end of his word, turning HATE into HATES.
âPlural,â you said, your voice a low, faux saccharine purr, âmultiplied effect.â
Satoruâs smug smile tightened.
Then, you began building down. Using the very same âEâ from HATES as your starting point, you laid down L, then O, then V, and finally another E.
LOVE
The board now presented its undeniable, poetic truth. HATES, horizontally, on a double word score, directly adjacent to LOVE, vertically, the two words locked together.
You looked up, meeting Satoruâs gaze with a challenge in your eyes. âFifteen points for âLOVEâ. Plus the eight for âHATESâ. Twenty three total.â You let a slow, cold smile spread across your lips. âYouâre done, Gojo.â
For a single, suspended second, the room was silent. Satoruâs face went on a journey. The forced smugness evaporated, replaced by confusion as his brain processed the board. Your hopes of having delivered the final hook to establish animosity was crushed as you looked at the furious shade of crimson blooming on Satoru's pale cheeks, and his lips pressed to a thin, trembling line.
Seriously? He was blushing from the word LOVE on a scrabble game?
Click. The soft, precise sound of a book closing was like a gunshot in the quiet room.
Suguru didnât sigh. He didnât ask or say anything.
He simply placed his novel on the side table and stood up. The floorboards creaked under his weight as he walked the three paces to the coffee table.
He pointed first at HATES. Then down the vertical line of LOVE.
His eyes moved from your face, now pale with dread, to Satoruâs, which was a mask of guilty panic.
He looked at the two of you, and sucked in an exaggeratingly deep breath. You gulped and braced yourself.
âGet a room,â he said finally, voice flat and utterly drained, âIâm going for a walk. A long one.â
He didnât wait for a response. Simply turned and grabbed his keys from the bowl by the door, muttering a simple, âAnd hide your hickeys properly by then, for fuck's sakeâ, and left.
You and Satoru sat frozen, gaping at each other like idiots. The two of you were alone, surrounded by the wreckage of your charade, the words HATES and LOVE staring up from the board as the most obvious, hilarious, and catastrophic love letter ever written.
Itâs over. You both know it. The charade is too exhausting to maintain.
A giggle bubbles up in your chest, then another, and soon youâre both laughing, really laughing, the sound free and unfettered for the first time in days. Your foreheads fall together, and between the lingering warm kisses that Satoru plants on your lips, he whispers, âSo I can finally sleep over in your room tonight right?
Š2025 LUMIEROS â the quality of my writing was trashed towards the end ngl. the smut wasnât really the main focus so I kept it pretty vanilla, this fic was more character driven for me.
i wrote the first draft on my phone because iâm stupid and in the three times I edited this, it went from 11k to 16k, the longest fic iâve ever written so pls be kind slowburns are not my forte </3 also if there are any grammatical errors pls ignore cus ts had me biting my own fist with how torturous it was to edit.
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operation: get over your childhood crush! â gojo satoru
synopsis. in an attempt to move on from your childhood best friendâwho definitely doesnât see you the way you wantâyou hatch a series of plans to help you get over him. it doesn't go as planned.
contents. hurt/comfort, fluff, nerd!gojo, college au, childhood friends to lovers, mutual pining, unreliable narrator, miscommunication, insecurity, dorky references bc u make him go dumb and digimon inaccuracies probably
notes. i did not proofread this monster!! enjoy :P
The hum of the air conditioning fills the room as night settles in, the light from Satoruâs bedside lamp casting a soft glow over his mess of a room. Youâre both sprawled out across his bed, limbs entangled like itâs the most normal thing in the world. Because, for the two of you, it is.
Satoruâs Nintendo Switch is balanced on his stomach, hands lazily tapping away as his little Digimon charges into battle on screen. Youâre curled into his side, one leg hooked around his and a blanket thrown haphazardly across you both. The half-abandoned textbooks sit at the edge of the mattress, tragically ignored. Another study session: failed. Not that Satoru needed it. He passed everything with flying colors. It was more of an excuse for you to come over.
âYour room still smells like that cheap vanilla air freshener,â you mumble, nose scrunching.
âThatâs because you bought it,â he replies without looking up, thumb expertly guiding his character through an attack.
âBecause your room would end up stinking with sweat and whatever freaky stuff you do in here.â
âHey!â He whines. âI shower everyday and you know it. The stink is all you. Have you ever sniffed yourself, princess?â
You swat at his stomach, and he lets out a dramatic grunt. âRude. I brought that candle to add ambiance.â
âAh yes,â he deadpans, ânothing like artificial sugar scent.ââ
You snort, settling your head back down on his shoulder, the fabric of his hoodie soft beneath your cheek. Thereâs a long pause before you say, âYou know, if we fail our exams, Iâm blaming your Digimon addiction.â
He grins. âIâm raising digital warriors, thank you very much. And Iâve never failed an exam, donât wound me now!â
âThey look like mutant toddlers with attitude problems.â
He gasps, clutching his heart. âTheyâre champions, you monster.â
You laugh, letting the sound dissolve into something quieter as your fingers absentmindedly trace a pattern into the blanket. His hand rests near yours. Not holding it. Not not holding it.
His glasses are tilted again. Of course.
You reach up and straighten them with a sigh. âHonestly, youâd be lost without me.â
âNot true.â He says it reflexively, then pauses. His voice softens. âOkay, maybe. Iâd probably just let them slide down until I walked into a wall.â
You smile faintly. âAnd thereâd be no one there to patch you up.â
âTragic,â he agrees. âWould bleed out on the floor, probably.â
âYouâre so dramatic.â
âYouâre so bossy,â he counters, shooting you a sideways look.Â
âAdmit it,â he says, voice full of faux-smugness, âyouâd miss me if I died tragically and left you all alone.â
You hesitate for a second too long before mumbling, âDonât joke about that.â
Itâs quiet. The game music loops in the background as his Digimon wins the battle with a triumphant fanfare.
He doesnât say anything.
You suddenly feel too warm under the blanket. The joke had been harmless, stupid even.
But something inside you twists, the same something thatâs been unraveling lately every time he mentions another girl.
Another type. Thatâs not you.
âYou know,â you say slowly, eyes peeling from the screen to his phone, which lights up with a notification, revealing one of his favorite gravure modelâs latest issues as its wallpaper. âYou could probably date any girl you wanted. Why do you partake in freak stuff like this? Itâs anti-girl repellent.â
He makes a noncommittal sound. âDoubt it.â
âI donât. Youâve got that whole genius-who-doesnât-realize-heâs-hot thing going on.â
He glances at you, skeptical. âIs that a thing?â
âIt is. Annoying, but effective. Girls love it.â
He hums, clearly amused, cheeks slightly flushed. âWell, good to know I have options.â
You try to laugh, but it catches in your throat.
You shouldnât ask. You really shouldnât.
But youâre lying in his bed. Wrapped up in him like you belong here. And some part of you aches to know the answer.
So you pretend itâs a joke. You tilt your head against his shoulder, voice airy, teasing. âHey, be honestâdo you think Iâm cute?â
He goes still.
His hand tightens slightly on the Switch. You think youâve pushed too far, so you try to backpedal before he can respond.
âNot like⌠like that,â you say quickly. âI just meant, like, in general. Compared to those girls youâre into. Say, Waka Inoue. You know, long legs, shiny hair, cute face?â
His jaw tightens.
Youâre still trying to play it off. âI mean, Iâm not fishing for compliments. I justâwas wondering.â
He finally turns to look at you.
His gaze lingers. And for the first time all night, heâs not smiling.
You feel your breath stutter in your throat underneath his gaze.
Then he shrugs.
ââŚNah.â
It slices through the air with quiet finality.
Your heart drops. You donât let it show. Not fully. But it must flicker in your face, because he quickly looks away.
You laugh. It sounds forced.
âYeah, thatâs fair. I mean, I wasnât expecting a yes or anything.â
Heâs silent.
You shift away from him slightly, giving him space. âI should head home soon. We didnât really get any studying done, anyway.â
âItâs late. Why donât you stay the night?â
Usually, youâd accept his offer with a smile, but you really wanted to go home and wallow in your own self pity.
âItâs fine, I have something to do anyway,â the lie slips out of your mouth easily as you begin to pack your things.
And you miss the way he watches youâguilt in his eyes, frustration on his tongue.Â
You knew it was time. Twenty years of hopeless, fruitless pining had done enough damage to your heart.
It had started the day your parents moved next door. Satoru had been the loud, obnoxious, too-pretty-for-his-own-good boy on the playground who shoved candy in your hand and asked if you wanted to be friends.
Youâd been doomed since day one.
And to make things worse, youâd both gotten into Japanâs most competitive universityâtogether. Same neighborhood. Same school. Same train route. You werenât just stuck with him. You were haunted.
But you were young and hot. And allegedly in your prime. You couldnât keep orbiting around a guy who still thought microwave gyoza was a food group and used your shampoo because it âsmelled like you, so why not?â
You were sipping coffee with your two closest friends, and todayâs topic wasâunfortunatelyâyour love life.
âHonestly, I canât believe youâve been stuck on Gojo for this long,â Utahime said, disgusted, as she stirred her latte like it personally offended her. âYou could do so much better.â
âIt was kind of cute in high school,â Shoko added âbut now itâs just sad.â
You sighed, blowing on your drink. âI know, okay? Itâs not like I havenât tried. But heâs literally the only guy Iâve ever been close to. I donât even talk to guys besides him.â
âThatâs because heâs been gatekeeping you since the two of you met,â Utahime said flatly. âI swear, every time someone so much as glanced at you, he pulled that overprotective act.â
You wrinkled your nose. âThat doesnât sound like âToruâŚâ
Shoko and Utahime exchanged a look. One of those knowing glances.
Utahime cleared her throat. âIt doesnât matter! What matters is you are hot. Youâve got the face, the body, the grades, the personality. You just need the confidence.â
You peeked up at her, unsure. âYou really think so?â
Utahime leaned forward, smirking like sheâd just won a war. âI know so. And thatâs why Iâve come up with a plan.â
You narrowed your eyes. âA plan?â
She slammed her hands down on the table, eyes alight. âOperation: Get Over Gojo Satoru.â
You blinked. âThatâs⌠a long title.â
Shoko blew a slow stream of smoke. âItâs either this or pine until you die and haunt him as a love-sick ghost.â
You stared into your cup, sighing. âFine. Iâm in. Whatâs step one?â
Utahime grinned.
âWhatcha doing?âÂ
Gojoâs voice drifts lazily over your shoulder, followed by the soft rustle of his hoodie as he leans in. Heâs far too close, obnoxiously so, his breath tickling your ear and his chin was nearly resting on your shoulder.
You donât even glance up. âStudying.â
The two of you are supposed to be studyingâ finals loom overhead like a guillotine, but as usual, very little academic progress has been made. Mostly because your study partner is a six-foot-something genius who insists on sitting sideways in the booth, long legs tangled in yours under the table like itâs second nature.
He hums, skeptical. âLiar.â
You hum noncommittally, thumbing through the dating app Utahime suggested with vague disinterest. The guys blur together: not tall enough, too cocky, too bland, too not Satoru. One makes a joke suspiciously close to a Gojo classic, and you immediately hit unmatch with a scowl.
âWait,â Satoru says slowly. âAre you on a dating app?!â He practically yells the last part. Half the cafe turns to glare at the source of the disruption.
You hiss under your breath, mortified, swatting at him. âKeep your voice down, idiot!â
His eyes widen dramatically, hands thrown up like youâve stabbed him. âI leave you alone for two minutes and youâre already planning a life with someone named âKeita, aspiring poet and spiritual healerâ? Iâm wounded.â
âYou werenât supposed to read that far.â
âIâm a speed-reader,â he says with a smug grin. âItâs part of the whole âgeniusâ thing.â
Before you can argue, he snatches your phone with a level of ease that tells you this isnât the first time heâs done something like this. He grins like heâs won a prize.
âSatoru!â
âRelax, Iâm not texting anyone,â he says, fingers flying across the screen. âJust optimizing.â
Your heart drops. âWhat are you typing?â
âNothing~â
You make a grab for your phone, but he effortlessly leans back, holding it above his head with those ridiculously long limbs. You glare at him from across the table, arm outstretched like a furious cat trying to swat at the moon.
âGive it back!â
âPatience.â
âGojo Satoruââ
âOkay, okay!â he relents with a dramatic sigh, finally placing your phone face-down on the table like heâs done you a huge favor.
You snatch it up immediately, eyes scanning for damage. No weird messages. No unsolicited likes. No new matches.
ââŚWhat did you do?â
âI didnât message anyone,â he assures, too innocent to be trusted. âIâm not that cruel.â
You narrow your eyes, suspicious.
âBut,â he adds with a grin, âI didnât know you were dating.â
âIâm not,â you mutter, clicking your phone off. âJust considering it. Trying. Itâs not going well.â
âGood.â
The word comes out too fast. Too sharp. And his face doesnât match the light tone heâs trying to play off.
You raise an eyebrow. âGood?â
He shifts, leaning back in his seat, suddenly very interested in stirring the foam in his overpriced coffee. âI mean, itâs good youâre not settling. You should be picky. Guys are the worst.â
You snort. âYou are a guy.â
âExactly. I know what weâre like.â
You smile despite yourself, rolling your eyes. âIâm sure you think youâre the exception.â
âI know I am,â he says, winking. Then he sobers slightly, eyes flickering to yours. âIâm just⌠looking out for you.â
The sincerity in his voice makes your chest ache. You wish it was more than just him being protective in that big-brotherly, annoyingly loyal kind of way.
You take a sip of your coffee to cool your nerves. It doesnât help. The words come out before you can stop them.
âYou know with the way things are going⌠maybe you should just date me at this point.â
Silence.
Itâs a joke. Supposed to be. But the second it leaves your lips, it tastes real.
Gojo freezes.
You panic. âI didnât meanâlike, I was just jokingââ
But he turns toward you, eyes unreadable behind the fringe of snowy white hair. âMaybe I should.â
You blink.
And then, with infuriating ease, he grins.
âAnyway,â he says quickly, swiping your phone from the table again before you can stop him, âYuto here looks like the type to ghost you after three dates and a karaoke duet. You can do better.â
You gape at him, completely thrown off, your heart slamming in your chest.
You donât even notice what heâs done until laterâuntil you get home and open your app to find that your bio has been changed.
Taken. Mentally married to a nerd since birth.
You want to scream.
Operation: Get Over Gojo Satoru?
Yeah. Not going great.
Not at all.
You werenât sure why you agreed to it.
Maybe it was the look in Utahimeâs eyes, so determined and hopeful. Maybe it was Shoko promising she would help you find true love. Maybe it was the quiet part of you that wanted to see yourself through someone elseâs eyes. Someone who wasnât Gojo Satoru.
âToday,â Utahime had declared, curling the last strand of your hair like she was threading a spell, âis the first day of your Gojo-less futureâ
You laughed nervously, tugging at the hem of your skirt. It wasnât your usual styleânot the dewy makeup you werenât used to seeing in the mirror, not the new haircut that made your eyes look almost too bright, not the blouse that left your shoulders bare in a way that made you feel strangely noticed.
But when you caught your reflection, your heart fluttered. You looked beautiful.
When you stepped onto campus, the sun was out, the wind teasing your hair. You spotted him immediatelyâGojo, slouched against the wall outside your lecture hall, nose buried in his Switch as he muttered something under his breath about evolving stats and attack modifiers.
He didnât notice you at first.
Then he looked up.
His game froze mid-battle. His mouth opened. Then closed. Then opened again, like someone had unplugged his brain.
âWhaââ he said eloquently. âWhâwhat did you do.â
You blinked. âHi to you too.â
He stared, unabashed. His glasses were slightly crooked, his ears glowing scarlet. He looked like someone had just told him Digimon was real and living in your shoes.
He blinked. âYou look like⌠like you skipped two evolution stages overnight. Straight to Mega. Like if Angewomon fused with⌠I donât know, some kind of rare, limited-release goddess-type Digimon that only spawns on a lunar eclipse.â
You blinked.
Utahimeâs voice in your head: Youâre hot. Unstoppable. Heâs going to be speechless.
And Gojo was. But not in the way you wanted.
You tried to laugh. âSo I look like a cartoon?â
âA beautiful cartoon,â he said, serious now. âLike the kind of boss character they only show for two frames because animating her costs too much.â
Your heart stuttered. It was the sort of compliment only Gojo could give: clumsy and dorky, yet brilliant in its own way.
But the moment passed.
He rubbed the back of his neck and looked away, sunglasses slipping slightly as he muttered, âYou just⌠you look different. Thatâs all.â
Different.
Not better. Not prettier.
Just different.
You swallowed. âYeah, well. Thought Iâd try something new.â
âI didnât say it was bad,â he added quickly, but the words felt unsure. Flimsy.
âI should⌠use the restroom,â you mumbled, turning before he could say anything else.
In the bathroom, you stared at your reflection. Your lipstick looked too bold now. Your lashes too heavy. Despite the change, you were still painfully youâ the you Gojo teased during study sessions, the one he let borrow his hoodie when it rained, the one who sat next to him during endless all-nighters. And maybe that was the problem. You werenât like those girls on the magazines.Â
What you didnât see, what you couldnât see, was Gojo still standing outside the lecture hall, staring after you, Switch forgotten, game over screen blinking on the screen.
He didnât even notice.
âYou good, Satoru?â Shoko asked, walking by.
He blinked. âI think I just saw my best friend⌠and my final boss⌠and my future wife⌠all at once.â
Shoko snorted. âYouâre a dork.â
Gojo just sighed, shoulders slumping as he muttered, âIâm so doomed.â
Itâs a mild Friday evening when you meet himâKazuya, the guy from your psychology class. Heâs polite, articulate, and kind of cute. The kind of guy who asks if you prefer cats or dogs before ordering his drink, and actually listens when you answer.
Utahime and Shoko had insisted you say yes. âA change of pace,â they called it. âYou need a baseline. Not every guy is going to be Gojo Satoru.â
Exactly. That was the point.
Youâre sipping a matcha latte and nodding along as Kazuya explains his thesis on cognitive development when a very familiar voice cuts through the air.
âWell, well, well. Fancy seeing you here.â
Your stomach drops. You look up, and sure enoughâ
Satoru.
In all his tall, obnoxiously eye-catching glory, wearing a white t-shirt that was inside out and a grin like he just won the lottery. He's holding a bottle of ramune and standing directly next to your table, like heâs been there the whole time.
You blink. âWhat are you doing here?â
He shrugs. âThirsty. Wanted a drink.â
âAt this cafĂŠ? On this side of campus?â
âYeah,â he says, tone innocent. âWeird coincidence, huh?â
Kazuya offers a polite smile. âYouâre her friend, right? Gojo?â
âOh, best friend. Lifelong. Practically her shadow.â He plops into the empty seat beside you without asking, casually tossing his ramune onto the table. âWhatâs your name again? Kaname?â
ââŚKazuya.â
âRight, right. I always mix those up. You look like a Kaname, though. Or maybe a Yusuke.â
You stare at him, incredulous. âSatoruââ
But heâs already leaning over, squinting at the book tucked under Kazuyaâs arm. âOoh, Piaget. Bold move. Love that for you.â
Kazuya blinks. âDo you⌠like developmental theory?â
âI like being correct,â Gojo says with a cheeky smile. âAlso, [Name] hates Piaget. She called him âthe Freud of toddlersâ last semester.â
Kazuya turns to you in mild surprise. âReally?â
âIâI mean, yeah,â you mumble. âSort of.â
Gojo beams. âTold you.â
Kazuya makes a valiant effort to steer the conversation back to safe, neutral ground.
âSo, you mentioned you're interested in behaviorism, right?â he says, offering a gentle smile. âI thought Dr. Takeda's lecture on conditioned responses was kind of fascinatingââ
âOh, riveting,â Satoru cuts in, lounging back in his chair like he owns the cafĂŠ. âNothing like bonding over Pavlovâs dogs to spark romance. Did she tell you she cried during Inside Out because the depiction of core memories was âpsychologically resonantâ? Real charmer, this one.â
You shoot Satoru a look. âI was twelve!â
Kazuya blinks, trying not to smile. âI actually thought that was pretty moving, too.â
âWow,â Satoru deadpans. âA match made in neuroscience.â
Kazuya laughs politely and continues, undeterred. âSo, uh, any research plans after graduation?â
You open your mouth to answer, but Satoru beats you to it again.
âShe used to want to be a vet. Cried when she had to dissect a frog in middle school. Tragic day.â
âIs that true?â Kazuya turns to you, amused now.
âTechnically, yes,â you mutter into your drink.
By the time your cup is empty, you realize youâve laughed more at Satoruâs interjections than you have at anything Kazuyaâs said. Not because Kazuya wasnât interestingâhe was. He was calm, thoughtful, well-read, and clearly trying. But next to Satoru, whose entire presence seemed impossible to ignore, Kazuya didnât stand a chance.
Still, to his credit, Kazuya maintains a steady, if slightly strained, expression as he sets down his cup and finally says, carefully,
âSo⌠is Gojo your boyfriend?â
The question hangs awkwardly.
You and Satoru answer at the same time.
âNo,â you say quickly.
âYes,â he says with a smile.
You both turn to stare at each other.
âI meanâno,â he corrects, waving his hands. âJust a joke. Hah. Obviously.â
Kazuya blinks. âRight.â
You canât meet either of their eyes. Your drink is finished, your palms are damp, and the cafĂŠ is suddenly too warm, too small. You push back your chair and stand.
âI should go. Early lab meeting tomorrow.â Itâs the weakest excuse, but neither of them calls you on it.
Kazuya stands too, polite as ever. âThanks for meeting up. You seem like a really cool person.â He hesitates, then adds, gently, âI just think maybe youâve already got someone.â
You freeze. You open your mouth, then close it again. Thereâs nothing to say.
Outside, the cold air kisses your cheeks like a reminder. It stings a little, or maybe thatâs just the confusion burning in your chest.
Satoruâs already waiting for you. Of course he is. Heâs leaning against the lamppost, silver hair catching in the wind. But his eyes are downcast, trained on the sidewalk.
He doesnât say anything right away. Neither do you.
You exhale, watching your breath curl white in the air. âYou didnât have to crash it, yâknow.â
âI didnât crash,â he replies without looking at you. âI was invited.â
âBy who?â
âFate. Karma. The gods of poor decision-making.â He shrugs.
You roll your eyes, but it tugs a laugh from you anyway. Stupid, annoying, charming Gojo.
âSo,â he says after a beat, nudging your arm gently with his elbow, âhowâd it go?â
You glance at him. He still wonât meet your gaze. His lips are pursed like heâs holding back a hundred words and none of them are funny.
âHe was nice,â you admit. Despite being rudely interrupted by the white haired idiot beside you.
âNice is boring,â he mutters, kicking at a loose stone on the pavement.
You laugh, soft and tired. âYouâre the worst.â
He finally looks at you then, lips quirking into that smug, too-knowing smile. âBut you like me anyway.â
You look away, cheeks burning, heart thudding like a traitor in your chest.
You donât answer.
You donât have to.
Despite Operation: Get Over Gojo Satoru failing in every imaginable way, things were starting to feel bearable.
Almost good, even.
Satoru still hovered a little too close, always with that same half-smile like he knew something you didnât. And maybe, just maybeâ his constant sabotage, the teasing, the jealousy, the way he looked at you like he was about to say something important but never did. Maybe it all meant something.
You let yourself believe it, just a little.
And that was your first mistake.
It happens quietly, without fanfare or warning. Just a throwaway line between sips of lukewarm coffee and the soft shuffle of paper. Youâre both at your usual spot in the library, surrounded by open notebooks and highlighted packets, pretending to study more than you actually are.
Youâre halfway through underlining a term in your psychology notes when Satoru leans back in his chair, stretches like a cat, and says far too casually:
âSo, guess who asked me out?â
You hum absentmindedly. âWho?â
âAyane.â
The name hits you like a slap.
You freeze, highlighter paused mid-sentence. ââŚAyane? From the biochem track?â
âYeah,â he says, practically glowing. âYou know her, right? She's in your study group sometimes.â
You do know her. Of course you do. Everyone knows her.
Sheâs beautiful, with this effortless, clean kind of eleganceâlong legs, perfect posture, and that quiet, poised confidence that makes professors adore her and guys fall over themselves. The kind of girl who posts one blurry bookshelf photo and still racks up a thousand likes. The kind of girl Gojo always jokes about marrying.
But heâs not joking now. Heâs beaming.
âShe asked me out to dinner this Friday. Sheâs so smart, too. I didnât even have to pretend to know what quantum entanglement was. Itâs wild.â He laughs, brushing a hand through his hair. âI thought sheâd never go for a guy like me, yâknow?â
You force a laugh. âA guy like you?â
âYeah. I dunno. Too much, I guess? But she said I was ârefreshing.ââ He grins.Â
Your stomach sinks.
This is what you thought you wantedâfor him to move on, so you could finally do the same. For Operation: Get Over Gojo Satoru to succeed, for real this time.
But now that itâs happening, it feels like someoneâs slowly pulling your ribs apart.
âOh,â you manage, smiling like youâve practiced it. âThatâs great. Iâm happy for you.â
He doesnât notice the way your voice cracks on happy. He just keeps talking, rambling about restaurant reservations and how she likes contemporary poetry and used to live in France. You nod in all the right places, but your thoughts are already slipping away.
Because it isnât just that heâs going out with someone else.
Itâs that he chose her.
Her with her flawless skin and quiet charm and the kind of beauty that doesnât need to try. Her, with everything youâre not. And more than that, itâs that he made you believe you could have meant more to him, when really, heâd been searching for someone else all along.
You excuse yourself early, mumbling something about laundry.
He doesnât follow.
You donât cry until youâre halfway home, the cold air biting at your cheeks as your vision blurs.
For the first time in years, you donât text him goodnight.
You donât wait for a meme. Or a dumb joke. Or his usual, âHey, genius. Sleep.â
You go silent.
And when he texts the next day, you donât reply.
You skip your library meet-up. You donât sit next to him in class. You even duck into the stairwell when you see his ridiculous white hair from across campus.
Itâs not because youâre mad. Itâs because youâre heartbroken.
And you canât keep pretending it doesnât matterâthat he doesnât matter.
You werenât just losing your best friend.
You were losing the love of your life.
And he didnât even notice.
It takes him three days to notice youâre gone.
Wellâno. Thatâs a lie.
He notices immediately. The moment your usual seat in the library stays empty. When your laugh doesnât echo in the cafĂŠ line. When your name doesnât pop up on his screen at 2AM with some stupid meme captioned, âthis reminded me of you, idiot.â
But he tells himself youâre busy.
Midterms, right? Stress. Coffee. You get like this sometimes, and he gets it. He really does.
So he waits. Tells himself not to be clingy.
But then Friday comes.
And he's sitting across from Ayane in some expensive, quiet restaurant where the napkins are folded like origami cranes and the water tastes filtered. Sheâs telling him about her research internship in Osaka, about enzymes and international grants, and all he can think isâ
Youâd be making fun of me right now.
Youâd be kicking him under the table. Whispering some dumb pun about digimon. Youâd be pulling faces every time he tried to pronounce the items on the menu. Youâd be you.
Ayane is lovely.
But she doesnât laugh when he says something stupid. She just smiles politely.
She doesnât ask about why his glasses are always crooked (itâs so you could fix them). Doesnât tease him for double-knotting his laces like a paranoid grandma. Doesnât call him âSatoâ like itâs some private joke only the two of you get.
He walks her home. Thanks her for a nice evening.
Then he goes to the convenience store. Alone.
And he sees your favorite snack on the shelf and buys two out of habit.
He stares at his phone the entire train ride back.
No new messages.
Just the last one you sent days ago:
âLaundry. Rain check?â
And nothing since.
He waits. Another day. Then two.
You donât show up to class again.
You donât like his latest meme.
You donât comment on the Digimon pun he texted you out of desperation.
You are silent.
And Satoru Gojoâbrilliant, blind-sighted, the golden boy of theoretical physics, always five steps ahead realizes, too late, that heâs been a fool.
That he didnât just lose a study partner.
He lost the one person who knew him better than he knew himself.
The one person he couldnât replace with rare Digimon pulls, half-solved physics equations, or overly sweet desserts.
And for the first time since he was a kidâ
Heâs afraid.
Itâs been a little over a week.
A little over a week since Gojo Satoru has heard your voice. Since you shoved your coffee at him without asking, muttering âtoo sweet for meâ when you really meant âI got this for you.â Since you poked fun at his stupid sock choices, or knocked your foot against his under the table like it was nothing.
And Satoru is suffering.
He's tried everything. Showed up to your house with excuses too weak to be called plans (âHey, I brought your favorite snacks. I just... figured maybe you forgot you liked them?â). Waited outside your lecture hall until a security guard asked if he was lost. Took detours between classes hoping to catch a glimpse of your ponytail, your laugh, anything.
But you were always one step ahead.
You stopped answering his texts. Blocked him on that stupid dating app (whichâouch, even though you hadnât used it seriously). You didnât even show up to the library anymore. And even Shoko started looking at him with thinly veiled pity and a you really fumbled the bag look in her eyes.
Gojo Satoru is just tired.
Miserable.
So when he finally finds youânot because heâs chasing you down this time, but because heâs walking the long way home, and there you are, sitting on the old swings at the park where you first metâit knocks the wind out of him.
You donât look surprised to see him. Just tired too.
âI figured youâd find me eventually,â you say quietly.
He swallows. His hands curl at his sides like heâs preparing for a fight.
âYouâve been avoiding me,â he says, like it isnât obvious. âWhy?â
You look away. âYouâre smart. Figure it out.â
Gojo looks down at his feet.
âI didnât know you felt that way.â
Silence stretches between you, heavy and stinging. The playground is empty except for the wind dragging a soda can down the sidewalk and the faint creak of the swing chain.
Then he exhales, ragged and unsure. âLook, I canâtâI canât take this anymore.â
You glance up.
âI canât either.â
Hope flares too fast, too naive in his chest. His shoulders drop like heâs been holding up the world. âThatâs good,â he breathes, stepping forward. âBecause the silent treatmentâ God, I thought I was going toââ
âI donât think we can be friends anymore.â
The words stop him cold.
âWhat?â he breathes.
You laugh, but itâs hollow. Like something already broken. âDonât you get it? I canât be friends with you and pretend that nothingâs changed. That Iâm okay just being your best friend. Iâve been in love with you for years, Satoru.â
His heart stutters. You donât stop.
âAnd I love myself too much to keep hurting for someone who doesnât even look at me that way.â Your voice cracks, but you push through. âDo you know how humiliating it feels? To love someone so much it aches, and still feel like youâll never be enough?â
He opens his mouth. Closes it.
You wipe your eyes with the sleeve of your jacket, swallowing the lump in your throat. âYou never even thought I was cute.â
He looks like heâs been hit.
âIâve been chasing scraps. Leftovers. Mixed signals and stupid inside jokes. IâI canât do it anymore.â
You finally meet his eyes, and thatâs when he sees it: the hurt youâve been hiding behind every smile, every brush-off, every joke you cracked to keep the silence from swallowing you.
And for once, Gojo Satoru canât find a single thing to say.
Not yet.
Not until he stops you from walking away.
âWhere did you get an idea like that?â His cerulean eyes search yours desperately. âI-I donât think youâre just cute, are you kidding?â he blurts, eyes wild.
âY-youâre breathtaking! Everything Iâve dreamt of and more! That night when you asked me if I thought you were cute, I only said no because it would be a divine crime to reduce to such. All of my fantasies have been centered around you since we first met on that playgroundâsince you tripped over your shoelaces trying to race me to the monkey bars!â
Your breath catches.
He continues, desperate now, like every second of silence might kill him.
âI love you! And not like a brother. LikeâI want to marry you. Like, small wedding in Okinawa, barefoot on the beach, you wearing that soft blue dress you like. I already planned it. Our firstborn would be a daughter, with your eyes, my hair. Sheâd be the boss of the house.â
You gape.
âWaitââ
âIâm not done!â he says, hands thrown up. âThen weâd have twins. Boys. Chaos gremlins. One would look like my twin and the other yours, and theyâd absolutely terrorize usâbut their sister keeps them in check, sheâs fierce like you.â
You blink. A tear slides down your cheek.
âI want to move to Kyoto,â he says, softer now. âBuy a house with a dumb little garden. Grow tomatoes weâll never eat. Live out the rest of our lives where itâs quiet.â
You cover your mouth, stunned. âYou⌠really thought all that out?â
âItâs easy,â he breathes, âwhen all I can think about is you.â
He steps closer. The wind tugs his white hair into his eyes, but he doesnât blink.
âI go to study nonlinear quantum field theory and all I see is your face. I try to cool off and play Digimon, and even thatâs ruinedâmy lineup is garbage now! I only keep the ones you said were cute!â
A laugh bubbles out of you, fragile and watery.
âYou idiot,â you murmur.
âI am,â he nods solemnly. âIâm the worldâs biggest idiot. And Iâm in love with you.â
Another tear slips down. He wipes it away before you can.
âIs it too late?â he asks, voice cracking slightly. âPlease tell me itâs not too late.â
You stare at him, this man, this brilliant, ridiculous boy who had held your heart long before you ever admitted it.
âItâs not too late,â you whisper.
He doesnât speak. Just steps closer. Gently and carefully, like he's handling something sacred, he cups your cheek in his hand.
Your nose bumps his. His breath ghosts over your lips.
âIâve been waiting to do this for years,â he whispers.
And then, finally, he kisses you.
Itâs not perfect, your cheeks are still wet, his nose bumps yours again, and his hand trembles just a little, but itâs warm and sweet and soft. It tastes like home..
When he pulls away, his smile is sheepish. âSo⌠are we still doing the whole âOperation: Get Over Gojoâ thing, or?â
All of the above if, god forbid, the kids pop out and end up like him. The idea of some tiny version of himself running around with cursed energy leaking out of their sticky little fingers has always made his skin crawl. Not because he couldnât handle it â he could handle anything â but because the world couldnât. Because he knows exactly how that story ends.
A kid like that wouldnât get to be just a kid. Not with his blood or his power or his name. Theyâd be taken and dissected before they could be loved, worshipped before they could be understood or even understand how to. Thrown into a battlefield before theyâd ever lose a tooth.
But worst of all â the fear thatâs kept him up more nights than heâll ever admit â is that theyâd have his eyes.
Those unnatural, glowing, light-refracting things. A curse disguised as beauty. A beacon of danger. And what if his baby came out looking like him? What kind of life would they ever get to have?
No, he decided a long time ago: No tiny Gojos. No soft cheeks or first steps or lullabies. No cursed bloodline dragging another child into a war they didnât ask for. He doesnât want to leave a legacy.
He just wants peace.
So, of course, you had to go and ruin everything.
âYou better not be crying,â you whimper from the hospital bed, your fingers squeezing his so tight he swears you might shatter bone.
âIâm not,â he lies. (He absolutely is.)
âYou are,â you whine, breath catching in your throat as another contraction ripples through your body. âSatoru, I swear toâ fuck! Youâre not even the one pushing something the size of a watermelon out of yourââ
âOkay, okay!â he blurts out, brushing his thumb over the back of your hand like it might soothe you. âI know, baby, Iâm not leaving your side. Not for food, not for water, not even if Shoko threatens to kill me. Again.â
You blink up at him through bleary eyes, sweaty, furious, and glowing in a way that makes his chest ache. âI literally told you to get me ice chips five minutes ago.â
âIgnore past you,â he says solemnly. âPresent you needs me more.â
You roll your eyes, the little curve in the corner of your lip sending a warm tingle spiraling from his heart to his fingertips.
He doesnât know why someone like you could love someone like him. Much less want children with him. But you do, somehow.
The midwife says itâs time.
And when she tells you to push, you stare directly into your husbandâs eyes like this is his fault â like your withering glare is some sort of karmic retribution for him cumming in you nine months ago (which is maybe not entirely untrue).
âDonât look at me like that!â he squeaks, panicked, as you scream bloody murder and clutch at him like you want to take him with you. âYou look so pretty all the time, especially when you're ovulating, I didnât know itâd come to thisâ!â
But the words catch in his throat as a cry cuts through the room.
Small and sharp and alive.
The nurse is saying something, handing you something, but all Satoru can hear is the way the baby is crying. Loud and trembling and needy and pissed off. Exactly the way you cry and hide in his arms when youâre frustrated.
You let out a shaky sigh, settling down as you rock the little bundle in your arms.
Thereâs something in the shape of the face, the tilt of the nose, the set of the lips, that is all you. Undeniably, irrevocably, painfully youâ
Oh.
It opens its eyes.
And for a second, he forgets how to breathe.
Theyâre bright blue. Too bright. His. The kind that twist the light around them into something gleaming. But thereâs something different, too, something soft. Something gentle.
They shimmer like starbursts on water. Like they were made to reflect everything good in the world back at him.
And suddenly, heâs not afraid anymore. Because they arenât just his eyes. Theyâre yours, too, in shape and in spirit and in the way they seem to say Iâm here, Iâm real, Iâm yours.
Everything about this is unfamiliar and impossibly small and heâs terrified heâs going to fuck it all up somehow. But those eyes?
Theyâre beautiful.
Youâre holding your baby like itâs made of starlight and miracles, and your lips are trembling like youâre about to cry but youâre too tired, and when you look up at him, it all clicks into place.
God.
Youâre beautiful.
You, and your baby, and he loves you so, so much, itâs insane.
satoru gojo finds it odd when your flowers go missing.
well, they donât go missing per seâevery bouquet heâs given you has spent its short lifetime brightening your vases⌠until they simply donât. and each time, he compensates easily, never one to hesitate over âjust becauseâ flowers and gifts.
but what unsettles him is how heâs never seen them wilt. they donât wither, donât droop with time. one day theyâre there, and the next theyâre gone.
strangely enough, he never sees them in the trash either.
he tries not to overthink, but one evening it slips.
âbaby,â he murmurs, resting his chin on your shoulder, âdo you like the flowers i give you?â
âof course i do.â you shrug, light and easy.
âthen⌠would you rather they not be real?â
you blink at him, caught off guard.
âi just meanââ his voice falters, unusually unsure, âi donât want you to keep them up for a while and then throw them away. theyâre yours, but⌠maybe youâd prefer something that lasts. something permanent.â
you catch the faint crease in his brow, the way he fidgets like the thought is heavier than he wants to admit.
âtoru,â you whisper gently, âare you upset that the flowers donât stay longer?â
he exhales, fingers brushing through his hair. âi donât know. maybe i justâmaybe it scares me that they vanish so soon. maybe i want something that says our love wonât fade.â
for a moment, the air stills. thereâs a tenderness in his worry, but also a shadow of fearâbecause even the strongest sorcerer knows that things he loves donât always last.
you stand, wordless, and reach for a notebook tucked into your shelf. flipping it open, you press it into his hands.
inside, layered between soft pages, are every flower heâs ever given you. pressed, preserved, petals fragile but enduringâeach one a record of time, of memory, of love.
his eyes widen.
âno need for plastic flowers,â you smile, voice low but steady, âwhen i know how to keep the real ones. theyâll last, toru. maybe not forever in the worldâs eyes, but⌠enough for me. enough for us.â
and in that moment, he considers that love might not just be the worst curse of all.
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