Clive the Leftovers Guy

Clive’s mouth twists to the side and looks over Zeke again in consideration. What’s this guy been up to, then. “Ye, you do look different but, honestly, the workers here get 2 hours of guaranteed free time everyday besides showers and sleep. And they’d mostly have their head in the desserts, they ain’t gonna notice much about a guy who looks close enough but just has weird eyes and is a bit pink.” Zeke gives the other Elsen a bit too much credit, the ones who weren’t sweetened up enough to notice where probably too busy wanting to get sweetened up. “Like, it ain’t like you’re planning on robbing the sugar vaults or anything. It’s the cafeteria,” he snorted slightly before turning around and began walking off. “Look,I’m heading there anyway so if you’re jittery about it you can just come with me.” The offer was casual, the guy seemed weird before and he’s still weird but he doesn’t seem like a dangerous sorta weird. At first impression, second impression??, anyway… “Besides. I’m a good guy like that, wouldn’t you say so, Mister Passing-Through?”

“True, I suppose.” Zeke knows what sugar-high elsen are like - hell, he’s had enough of the stuff to feel it himself, a few times - and he has to agree with Clive. They can barely remember their own names.

He almost flinches at the joke about the sugar vaults. Well… Hopefully he won’t have to do that again anytime soon. He catches up to Clive as he walks away.

Yep, that’s a definite line right there. Clive may have shit self-preservation but he doesn’t have a legitimate death wish, so faced with a exceptionally pissed off half burnt he fell back on his instincts. His instinct to kick his foot up into the other elsens crotch. Hard. Doesn’t matter what they have, or used to have in this case maybe, he’s a worker with standard issue capped boots that just impacted into the pelvic bone, that should h u r t.

If Clive’s instincts hadn’t kicked in so quickly, things would have gotten messy, Rel would have gone to town tearing him up - instead, they fell to the ground with a surprised and pained screech, landing on their side.

Somehow, despite everywhere else burned having been toughened and virtually unfeelling, being hoofed directly in the crotch was AGONY.

A muscle in his cheek twitched, the deep feeling of the bruise spiked and his grin pulled up at the side, barring dark gums as well as crooked teeth. “Well,” he borderline laughed, “that must be something you’re actually an authority on right? I mean,” he took a stride forward towards the guard “well, your deal. D'you get like this” he gestured loosely up at down “by being reported?” Clive felt like he was treading a thin line between calling bluffs and provoking them even more. It was probably time to wind down…

Now,Rel had a response for that. Despite burning they were useful which only proved just how much of an asset they were,in some kind of sense. They could have spit that bac and then dragged Clive’s sorry ass to the grinder. Their chest tightened and their teeth grit as rage welled up more and more with each word Clive spoke.

Reasoning and logic were gone.

Clive shrugs casually, part of him feeling unused to talking this amicably to another elsen. “It’s a living,” he could tell Zeke was a skeptic and honestly couldn’t blame the guy, “don’t worry it won’t cost you money.” Okay, so the second hand feelings coming from Zeke were giving him the most amusement he’s felt in weeks, sue him. He doesn’t want the guy too stressed out though, so he continues after a beat. “Like, you get a meal yeah. You have some, much as you want but you leave some. You give what’s left to me and I read it from there. Simple enough.” Yeah, Clive probably wouldn’t believe that either but hey. “If you feel like giving it a go sometime, or you have some free time to spare after all, passing through. You could usually find me at the cafeteria. Gonna guess you know where that is?” Zeke doesn’t look like he’s from Clive’s Vesper but he definitely looks like he could be from another places Vesper.

Zeke listens curiously, though he squints at the last remark. He’s already come to expect jabs and double entendres from Clive. “V-very funny. Yes, I do know where it is.” He lets it slide; in his experience Vesper elsens tend to be more laissez-faire about weight. It’d be a little difficult not to be, in a lot of cases. It was certainly that way back in his home file.

Clive barely managed to not roll his eyes. “Oh, wow a height crack. Did it hurt to come up witg that one?” He snarked, his hand still lingering on the injured skin on his face.

“And I’m terrified, totally.”

Rel clacked their jaws together, having to force themselves to not head charge Clive. They’d just make it worse for themselves if they barrelled directly into the wall. They did however take a few steps closer, flexing their hands, a low growl rumbling from their throat.

Clive grinned at the others reaction and half-assedly brought a hand to his mouth to cover the suppressed laughing.

That was beautiful.

“Okay, passing through, could already tell you’re a file hopper. Not gonna lie its pretty obvious.” He said, gesturing casually at his own eyes to in point. “You’re certainly prettier than the lot you tend to get around here, anyway.” Okay, yeah he’s being a asshole. “Though, I wouldn’t worry about any of your Virtues,” Clive smirked, “that ain’t what I was offering. I’m a fortune teller, one with a fairly good satisfaction rate around here.”

Zeke experiences a poorly-maintained kiddie-coaster of emotion: rather short and not terribly dramatic, yet still somewhat jarring.

First comes nervousness. He’s perfectly aware that he doesn’t quite blend in in this file, but it still sets him on edge to hear it stated so plainly. He’s been finding it progressively harder to hide in general; he used to be pleased to be getting taller, but since many files have elsens on the shorter side, it’s getting difficult for him to disappear into a crowd even when things like his eyes don’t give him away.

Then he is, admittedly, a little flustered. “Pretty” is something he hasn’t been called for a long time, and it’s pleasant to hear. Even if he’s not interested. (Not right now, anyway.)

Something in Clive, when he woke up this morning tense from the recent never ending stream of bullshit mixed with a near complete lack of anything interesting, had him looking at this partially burn, feral looking guard and thinking: Yeah, you’ll do.

Clive cleared his throat before playing coy. “Oh, I’m sorry would you rather I went ‘greetings and salutations on this fine day we have upon us, pray tell what have you been up to’,” he looked Rel straight in the eye before he finished, “Fuckhands”

As if Clive’s sarcastic spiel wasn’t enough to annoy Rel, he just had to be that asshole. Their hands curled into fists, and before they even registered what they’d done, they swung their fist directly at Clive, aiming to ciock him n the jaw.

He felt like he’d been stuck in a hot room and finally a window had been cracked open. Maybe its odd to feel better after being punched? Fuck it, he ain’t about to think too hard on that, thank you very much.

“You want to die?” They snapped, hunching their shoulders and baring their teeth. It was taking altogether too much energy to not just wail on this douchebag. They figured Clive was doing this on purpose, and Rel could only wonder why.

Something in Clive, when he woke up this morning tense from the recent never ending stream of bullshit mixed with a near complete lack of anything interesting, had him looking at this partially burn, feral looking guard and thinking: Yeah, you’ll do.

Clive cleared his throat before playing coy. “Oh, I’m sorry would you rather I went ‘greetings and salutations on this fine day we have upon us, pray tell what have you been up to’,” he looked Rel straight in the eye before he finished, “Fuckhands”

As if Clive’s sarcastic spiel wasn’t enough to annoy Rel, he just had to be that asshole. Their hands curled into fists, and before they even registered what they’d done, they swung their fist directly at Clive, aiming to ciock him n the jaw.

He felt like he’d been stuck in a hot room and finally a window had been cracked open. Maybe its odd to feel better after being punched? Fuck it, he ain’t about to think too hard on that, thank you very much.

Clive shrugs, casually.“Eh, that’s fair. You can’t say elsen don’t tend to look kinda samey,” of course that doesn’t exactly explain why the guy seems tense. Maybe it’s the eyes? Some hoppers can find them a bit alarming at first. Or maybe he just thinks Clive looks like an asshole. “I work round here,” unfortunately, “you a tourist? If that’s the case I don’t mind being an attraction if you got time to spare".

That was beautiful.

Oh, Queen, it’s that elsen he’d first gotten that wanted poster from all that time ago. And that he bit the finger of that one time, too, so he’d kind of have a motive to turn him in, albeit a petty one (after all, he deserved the bite). Zeke tries to act natural.

“A-ah, I m-m-must do, I, um, d-d-don’t believe we’ve m-met?”

“Eh, that’s fair. You can’t say elsen don’t tend to look kinda samey,” of course that doesn’t exactly explain why the guy seems tense.

Maybe it’s the eyes? Some hoppers can find them a bit alarming at first. Or maybe he just thinks Clive looks like an asshole.